Rock Chick

Chapter Nine The New Definition of Fine

Lee dropped me by Fortnum’s, kissing me quickly before he took off in his Crossfire. I watched him go and tried to shut down my mind.

I failed.

I was trying not to think of the night before or that morning. I had a feeling of definitive joy mixed with complete and total fear. It was sinking into my brain that Lee told Kitty Sue we were together not because it was what she wanted to hear or because it got us out of a tight jam being caught in a clinch, but instead, because we were.

Together that was.

Liam Nightingale and India Savage, an item.

There was evidence that Andrea was right, he was serious.

Oh. My. God.

I put out a sign, closing Fortnum’s for the weekend, then walked home.

It was cool and comfortable in my house but it felt like it had been a week since I’d been home, rather than just a night.

In an effort not to think about Lee, I put the water on to boil for the macaroni, opened the backdoor to let in the non-existent breeze and checked my voicemail.

Seventeen messages.

Of course, it had been several days since I checked my mail but seventeen messages was an all time high. I listened to the messages as I got out the ingredients for my salad, thinking most of the messages would be Duke and Rosie sightings.

I was wrong.

The news had spread that Lee and I were together and every girlfriend I’d ever had (even some who had moved out of town and one who lived in England) felt it necessary to phone and get the lowdown first hand. Both Marianne and Andrea had called (Marianne twice), demanding updates.

For women far and wide who knew him, hooking up with Lee was a hot news item. Lee was the Holy Grail of boyfriend-dom. Especially since it was me, who had been on the sacred quest for many long, fruitless years. They all wanted the facts, all the facts.

If I but breathed a word of what it actually was like to kiss Lee, be held by Lee, or, dear Lord, what Lee looked like naked, I might cause a riot, even a war. I might have to arm myself and fight them all back lest Lee be torn limb-from-limb.

It was for the better health of the female population and peace in the land that I kept my mouth shut.

Of course, I had kinda told Andrea but I’d kept Andrea’s Richie Sambora secret, she’d keep my Lee secret, no sweat.

I made a pot of strong coffee and started cutting up pickles and onions and I let my mind wander.

Lee had made it pretty clear that I meant something to him and this was the cause of the joy that I couldn’t quite tamp down. He didn’t like me thinking I was a quick fuck, he didn’t like me crying, he didn’t like me trembling and he really didn’t like it when Terrible Teddy punched me in the face.

I shivered a little bit at what might have happened to Teddy if Lee’s boys had picked him up as Lee ordered.

Which brought me to the subject of just who Lee was. He said I didn’t have a fucking clue and at the rate he’d surprised me the last couple of days, I was thinking he was right.

I ran down the facts.

I thought Lee thought of me as his little sister. That obviously was not the case.

Lee had a workforce, people he employed, at least two of them, three if you counted Judy, the housekeeper. There were likely more. This meant responsibility and dependability. This meant people counted on him to keep them paid so they could put food on their table and roofs over their heads. This meant that somewhere along the line, Lee had become disturbingly grown up.

I, on the other hand, was avoiding growing up. My grandmother never grew up. I remembered many a time when my grandfather said to my grandmother, “Ellen, some day you’re gonna have to grow up.” And Gram would always say, “Why would I do a fool thing like that?”

I agreed with my grandmother, growing up didn’t sound like much fun. Growing up meant diaper bags, ironing your clothes and balancing your checkbook. That seemed really boring and I was avoiding it.

Then, there was the fact that Lee seemed to be a little bit better at this relationship stuff than I was. It had only been a couple of days but he talked casually about going out to dinner or when he’d pick me up from the store. He seemed pretty comfortable with me in his bed, in his house, my clothes in his drawers, my toothbrush next to his.

How this could be when Lee went through women like water was beyond me.

Granted, the longest relationship I’d had lasted eight months but there was a reason for that, none of the guys were Lee.

Now that it seemed like I had Lee, would I drive him away with my thrashing around in bed (although he seemed to have conquered that obstacle pretty quickly)? Then there were my crazy escapades with Ally (although he’d had a lifetime of that and always seemed to find it amusing). Of course there was also my somewhat crazy and uncontrollable bent towards doing stupid shit all the time (although he was showing alarming dexterity at cleaning up the messes I made). And, of course, my hell-bent independence and need for space (although he’d also managed to get by that by forcing me out of my space and into his, and his space was rather nice, with a great view and a housekeeper).

Yikes.

Finally, there was the scary part of Lee.

My Dad was a cop, the danger level to that job was a lot higher than most and I’d lived with it my whole life. I knew it and understood it, I didn’t like it but I was proud of him. He was one of the good guys that made the world safe. The world needed guys like Dad, Malcolm and Hank and the people in their lives had to give them space to do their jobs or we’d all be up shit creek.

Lee was… I didn’t know.

Death didn’t freak him out. He seemed to wander around comfortably both in the sunny real world that I inhabited and the slimy underworld that I hoped was temporary for me.

For Lee, bad guys had nicknames.

For Lee, driving twenty miles per hour over the speed limit, weaving in and out of crowded mid-day traffic on Speer Boulevard was like a Sunday drive.

Lee was offended at the thought that he’d botch a B and E. Lee oozed so much authority that crazy guys like Tex did what he ordered without comment. Lee was so dangerous that even Goon Gary and Creepy Terry Wilcox barely could hide their fear of him.

I dumped the cooked macaroni in the colander, rinsed it and left it to cool.

Then I went upstairs and slathered my body in factor 8 suntan oil that smelled deliciously coconuty. I dressed in my turquoise bikini that had the silver hoop between my boobs and the ones holding the material together at my hips and wrapped a sarong around my hips, tying it in a big knot at the front.

After doing this, I decided that I’d just have to wait and see what Lee had to say.

He told me he’d show me who he was, what he wanted and then I could make my decision. This did nothing to shift the joy or the fear, but it definitely mingled it with not a small amount of excitement.

It felt like Christmas Eve.

I was assembling my macaroni salad extravaganza when the back security door was thrown open and Rosie stepped into the kitchen.

He was carrying a gun.

And the gun was pointed at me.

I stared at him, wooden spoon in hand, dripping mayonnaise.

He looked like hell. Rosie had never been one to worry about personal hygiene overly-much, he groomed enough to make it not gross that he was serving coffee.

It was clear he’d slept a helluva lot less than I had and hadn’t had a shower since I last saw him.

“Rosie!” I cried. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over and worried sick.”

“Where are the diamonds?”

Uh, excuse me but this was beginning to piss me off. Why did everyone think I had the diamonds or knew where they were? I hadn’t even seen the fucking things.

He moved the gun jerkily and I quit thinking about the diamonds.

“Where are the diamonds?” he shouted.

I stopped staring at Rosie and started staring at the gun.

“I don’t know where they are.”

“Duke’s gone, they aren’t at his house.”

My eyes moved back to Rosie. He was definitely freaked out, panicked, and not in an artist-on-the-verge kind of way. It was far worse than that.

“You didn’t toss Duke’s house did you?” I asked.

“No! It was like that when I got there. I thought it was you and that crazy guy who taped me up.”

“I haven’t been to Duke’s but Duke’s coming back and I’m sure he knows where the diamonds are.” I tried to be calm and calm him. “Rosie, put down the gun, you need to stay someplace safe. I can call Lee –”

Rosie started waving the gun around and I stopped talking and stepped back.

“Don’t call that maniac. He taped me up! It took him, like, two seconds. I didn’t even get the chance to yell. I didn’t even hear him come in. He’s nuts.”

“Okay, I won’t call Lee. But Rosie, you have to be smart. Your friend –”

“He’s dead, they shot him. They fucking shot him!” He was shouting now, waving the gun around and seriously freaked out.

“Rosie –” I started.

“Yoo hoo!”

I heard the call from out the backdoor, complete with the clickety-clack of high heeled shoes and Chowleena’s nails on the bricks.

My neighbor, Tod.

“Tod, go back!” I yelled but Rosie had turned and pulled the trigger, shooting wild out the backdoor, three shots were squeezed off in as many seconds. I saw Tod’s arms flung out before him as he hit the deck and Chowleena started barking, each bark sending her upper body straight in the air. I knew this because I could hear the click of her nails hit the bricks every time she landed.

Rosie stared at the gun as if he forgot he was holding it and then ran out the door.

I ran after him.

“Rosie! Come back here! Don’t be stupid!”

But Rosie wasn’t listening to me. Rosie threw himself in a dark gray, old-model Nissan Sentra that was parked blocking my back alley and took off. I managed to read half the license plate before he turned left on Bannock and disappeared.

I ran back to the house. Tod was standing at my backdoor wearing a pair of white, to-the-knee jeans shorts, a wife beater and a killer pair of high heeled, strappy black sandals with sweet little bows on the peek-a-boo toes with rhinestones in the bows. He had his hand at his chest, his face was pale and considering the bloody areas, he’d scraped his knees and palms.

“Great shoes,” I said, trying to stay calm.

“I was coming over to show them to you, bought them yesterday,” Tod replied.

“Can I borrow them sometime?”

“Sure.”

Chowleena walked forward and shoved her face against my shins, completely unfazed by the gunplay. She was beige, small for a chow, fluffy in the extreme around her ruff with her butt shaved. The shin-butt was her way of giving a hug and saying, “hi” and, “give me a dog biscuit”. Her Dads were pretty strict about her diet but Auntie Indy was a pushover, one Chowleena hug and I had the dog biscuit box out.

We walked into the kitchen and I grabbed my cell, scrolled down to Lee’s number and hit the green button.

“Yeah?” Lee said after one ring.

“Rosie was just here. Took off north out of the alley onto Bannock in a dark gray Nissan Sentra.” I gave him the part of the license I could remember and he related the info to someone he was with, then he came back to me.

“How’s he look?”

“Not good and he had a gun.”

“How do you know he had a gun?”

“He was waving it at me and then he shot off three rounds when Tod came over for a surprise visit.”

Silence for a beat and then, “Tod?”

“My neighbor.”

Another silent beat, then, “Everyone okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d Rosie come to you?”

“He thinks I know where the diamonds are.”

Lee sighed.

“Be there in ten.”

I flipped the phone shut, threw Chowleena a dog biscuit and deposited a still-stunned Tod in a chartreuse chair and ran up the stairs to my bathroom to get my medical supplies.

I was sitting on the ottoman, dabbing at Tod’s palm with alcohol-soaked cotton balls, then blowing on it to take the pain away, when Tod said, “I thought you were making up a story when you said you’d been shot at. I thought it was another one of your stories.”

“I don’t have any stories, all that shit I tell you actually happens.”

Tod stared at me while he processed this.

This was a new dimension in our relationship.

I always thought Tod and Stevie accepted who I was and were so world-weary that nothing fazed them. I mean, they were flight attendants, they’d seen it all.

I did not expect that they thought I was making up things to make my life sound more interesting.

For Tod, this meant I really was crazy and he lived next to a woman who gets herself into a situation where she gets shot at and kidnapped.

“Stevie wants to sell the duplex, buy a condo. Says it will mean no yard work and we can have underground parking so we don’t have to scrape our windshields in the winter,” Tod told me.

I was not happy about this news. They were the best neighbors ever and they were my friends and when I needed someone with a steady hand to put on my liquid eye-liner, where was I going to turn?

Tod went on. “We both didn’t want to leave you. You’re incapable of yard work and Stevie spent a lot of time on that yard. It’s his legacy.”

“So now you’re getting shot at, you’re gonna leave me?”

“Girlie, I’m from Texas. We shoot at each other to say good morning. Now you’re getting shot at, we can’t go.”

I didn’t have time to feel relief or gratitude at this news as the front door opened and Lee and Matt walked in.

I was on the ottoman doing my Florence Nightingale impersonation. Tod was still wearing the high heeled sandals, blood was dripping from his knees down his hairy shins and he had not yet shaved his face. Chowleena barked three times, her nails clicking on the hardwood floor each time her upper body landed after a bark. Then she sat down, looking excitedly between the four of us obviously wondering which one would toss her a dog biscuit.

I introduced everyone then Lee said, “Can I talk to you alone?”

He didn’t wait for an answer and he, nor Matt, reacted to me administering to a from-the-ankles-down drag queen. Lee calmly walked up the stairs.

“There’s cold drinks in the fridge,” I told Matt and Tod and followed Lee, finding him in my bedroom.

He was looking around with curiosity. The walls were pale pink and the floors were covered in cream wool, thick-weave carpet. There was a dressing table with a big mirror and padded bench with tubs, brushes and bottles scattered across the top. The bed was big and had a pink Pottery Barn comforter cover with little hot-pink flowers and lots of fluffy pillows at the head.

It was a girlie room, not the room of a Rock Chick and thus was kind of a naughty, little secret, just like my underwear.

When I entered, Lee turned melty-chocolate eyes to me.

“Nice room.”

My toes curled into the carpet. I read a magazine article once about how guys actually liked feminine rooms, made them feel like a conqueror when they invaded such a room.

Lee’s face showed he was in the conquering mood.

This didn’t last long, his eyes cleared and he became all business.

“Tell me about it.”

I ran down the story of Rosie and Lee showed no reaction.

“How did he know Shubert had been killed?”

I shook my head. “He didn’t say.”

“Was he there?”

“He didn’t say but he seemed pretty freaked about it.”

“Why are you the focal point of all this?” he asked.

I shrugged.

He watched me for a second then said, “You smell like a beach.”

“Suntan oil,” I responded.

His eyes dropped to my body and they became melty again and his intentions were clear before he made a move. He snagged the knot in my sarong and brought me closer.

“You’ll get oil all over you.” I told him.

“Then I’ll take my clothes off.”

Holy shit.

My heart skipped a beat.

“Have you heard from Duke?” I asked, changing the subject.

Lee obviously didn’t want the subject to change, he was yanking his t-shirt out of his jeans.

“Duke’ll be home in a couple of hours. Tex is cool. He knows the drill. We abandoned the lead on Rosie when he showed up here.”

Lee had unknotted my sarong and it dropped to the floor. His melty eyes started glittering.

“Matt and Tod are downstairs,” I informed him.

He reached beyond me and shut the door.

“Lee! I’m in the middle of making macaroni salad and there are bullet holes in my fence! This has got to stop and you’re supposed to be the one stopping it.”

He pulled me into him, close enough for my breasts to brush his chest. A rush of electricity shot through my body as his arms slid around me.

“I don’t get a taste of you soon, I’m givin’ up the search and takin’ you to my cabin in Grand Lake. No phones, no cell coverage, no buzzer. Anyone knocks on the door and I’m shooting them.”

Lee had a cabin in Grand Lake.

I didn’t know that.

I loved Grand Lake.

I shook off thoughts of Grand Lake.

“We’re supposed to be having a talk,” I reminded him.

“Oh, we’ll talk,” he promised and I had that Christmas Eve feeling again, except it was Christmas Eve with the devil.

He was watching me. “I can’t read your face.”

“Some thoughts are secret.”

He seemed happy with that, which was surprising.

In my experience, there were two types of guys. One type asked you every five minutes what was on your mind and then got pissy when you didn’t feel like sharing. The other type never asked and you got pissy when they didn’t seem to care.

Lee, apparently, was a third type, a mutant type, knowing something was on my mind but happy to leave me to it. I didn’t know what to make of that. I did know it made me feel less pressured but more confused because one of us was supposed to be feeling pissy and neither of us were.

“I’ll tell you one thing,” I said to him, “I don’t know what to make of you. I can’t get my head wrapped around any of this.”

His arms tightened and his face came closer then deviated from its course at the last minute. He whispered in my ear a couple of things I could make of him and another couple of things I could wrap around him. My nether regions quivered and I couldn’t help myself, I put my lips to his neck then touched my tongue there. It seemed I couldn’t wait to taste him either.

Then the door bell rang.

Lee stopped whispering in my ear and started cursing.

I pulled out of his arms, grabbed the sarong and knotted it at my hips. Lee tucked his shirt back in.

Maybe Grand Lake was the way to go.

By the time we made it downstairs, Tod and Matt were both staring at a huge, glossy white box with a red ribbon tied around it that was sitting on the ottoman. Matt was holding a can of diet pop. Tod was holding a pop in one hand with his other arm wrapped around the biggest display of long stemmed red roses I’d ever seen, at least two dozen of them.

I’d had flowers delivered before but never on this scale and never accompanied by glossy boxes. I looked to Lee but he was staring at the flowers, his face tight. Clearly, whatever this was, it was not from Lee.

“There’s a card on the box,” Tod said, he was staring at Lee too.

I grabbed the card and it read, Dinner Wednesday night. Wear the dress. Terry

I’d just finished reading it and experiencing the sick clutch in my stomach when Lee snagged the card out of my fingers.

I stared at the box as if it was ticking.

“Aren’t you gonna open it?” Tod asked.

“You open it,” I said.

Tod needed no further encouragement. He plopped the huge array of flowers in my arms, set aside his pop and dug into the box. He squealed in delight as he pulled out a fabulous little black dress.

“I saw this at Saks when I was looking for shoes. It cost one thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars!”

That sick clutch in my stomach lurched and became full-blown nausea.

Tod was happily looking at Lee, thinking it was from him and that I’d hit the mother-lode of hunky boyfriends with platinum credit cards.

The muscle in Lee’s cheek was working and his eyes cut to Tod.

“Put the dress back in the box,” Lee ordered and Tod quickly did as he was told, his face turning confused.

Lee said to Matt, “Coxy.”

Matt’s jaw went rigid and his eyes turned to me.

“I didn’t do anything!” I shouted. “He kidnapped me! I didn’t encourage him at all! He’s creepy.”

“Who’s creepy?” Tod asked.

“They guy who sent these to me. He looks like Grandpa Munster except genuinely scary.”

“You didn’t send them?” Tod turned to Lee.

Lee didn’t answer, just grabbed the box and tucked it under his arm. “I’m returning this,” he announced and he was using his scary voice.

I nodded.

“Don’t leave the house. Don’t open the door to anyone. Bobby’s following up on Rosie and after we visit Wilcox, Matt and I will run down that lead. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I nodded again.

“I’ll do my best to convince Coxy that you aren’t interested.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

Lee’s face was totally blank and he watched me for several seconds. Once he started speaking, I realized that he’d been in a struggle with how much information to share and he’d decided he’d trust me not to freak out.

“You’ve captured his attention. Coxy’s a man who’s used to getting what he wants. He knows I consider you mine. This is a declaration of war.”

I gasped. Tod gasped. Chowleena barked.

“But I don’t want him! He’s icky,” I said.

“A lot of women get past icky when they get seventeen hundred dollar dresses delivered to their door,” Lee answered.

“I might get past icky for that dress. It’d go with my shoes,” Tod put in.

Lee was looking at me. “What about you?”

I felt my blood begin to boil and my eyes narrow. I put my free hand on my hip and assumed a posture that screamed attitude.

“Seriously?” I asked, I couldn’t believe he actually expected an answer.

Lee kept watching me.

“Icky is icky. There’s no getting past icky. He’s not only icky, he’s creepy. Even if you could get past icky, you can’t get past creepy. Jeez.”

Lee showed no reaction to my response. “Don’t leave the house.”

Then he was gone, leaving me with the roses.

Once the door closed, Tod turned to me.

“Girlie, he is fine. He’s fine times twelve. He’s the new definition of fine.”

“I’ve been in love with him since I was five,” I told Tod.

“I’m in love with him now. I want to have his children,” Tod told me.

We were both still staring at the door and I was still holding the roses.

“He scares me now. He’s an adult. He has a head on his shoulders. He’s good at this relationship stuff. I think he’s serious about me. And he runs in some pretty frightening circles.”

“Girlie, you fuck this up and I’m calling the boys in the white jackets. You let something that fine slip through your fingers, you deserve a padded room. Especially if he’s good at relationship stuff. Most especially if he’s serious about you. No one who looks like that and fills out a pair of jeans like that is good at relationship stuff. I don’t care if he runs through the seven circles of hell.”

Tod had a point.

I put the roses down on a side table, I needed to do something normal. If I didn’t do something normal, I was gonna get a first class ticket on the first plane to San Salvador. I was beginning to realize the allure of San Salvador.

“I need to finish my macaroni salad and make brownies. Wanna help?”

Tod shrugged.

“Sure, you watch Chowleena, I’m going next door to get my gun.”

“Your gun?”

“Hunk of Burning Love is out there fighting a war for you so someone has to protect you. I’ll be right back.”

Tod left to get his gun and I threw a doggie biscuit to Chowleena.

This new turn with Terry Wilcox meant my life was officially fucked up.

I could have a meltdown but instead I made macaroni salad.

I’d save the meltdown for later…

Hopefully when I was in Grand Lake.