Rogue

Chapter 14

Although Charles and Maxine didn't tell the children their plans and kept them private for the moment, having made them between themselves changed everything subtly anyway. Charles suddenly had a proprietary air about him whenever he was around Maxine or the kids, and Daphne was quick to pick it up.

“Who does he think he is?” she complained one day when he had told Jack to take off his cleats and change his shirt before they went out to dinner. Maxine had noticed it too, but she was pleased that Charles was trying to fit in and take his place, even if awkwardly. She knew his intentions were good. Being stepfather to three children was a big leap for him.

“He means well,” Maxine said to Daphne, excusing him far more easily than her daughter was willing to.

“No, he doesn't. He's just bossy. Dad would never say that. He wouldn't care what Jack wears out to dinner, or if he wore his cleats to bed.”

“Maybe that's not such a good thing,” Maxine suggested. “Maybe we need a little more order around here.” Charles was very proper, and liked everything neat and in control. It was one of the things they had in common. Blake was the opposite extreme.

“What is this? A Hitler Youth Camp?” Daphne snapped at her and stormed off. It made Maxine glad they had waited to announce their engagement and marriage the following summer. The children weren't ready to hear it yet. She was hoping that in the coming months, they would accept it a little more each day.

March was a busy month for Maxine. She attended two conferences at opposite ends of the country, one in San Diego on the effects of national traumatic events on children under twelve, where she was the main speaker. And another on suicidality in adolescents, in Washington, D.C. Maxine was part of a panel that opened the conference, and she gave a separate lecture of her own on the second day of the event. And then she had to rush home to New York for spring break with her kids. She had hoped to convince Blake to see them during their spring vacation, but he said he was in Morocco, working on the house, up to his ears in construction and plans, and too busy to take a break. It was disappointing for her children and stressful for her to take a week off with them. Thelma handled her patients for her when she did.

Maxine took her children skiing in New Hampshire for a week during their break. And unfortunately, Charles couldn't get away. He was busy with his practice, so Maxine went to New Hampshire with her children, and a friend for each, and they had a ball. When she told Charles what she was doing, he confessed to being enormously relieved that he was too busy to join them. Six children were far too many for his nerves. Three already seemed like a lot to him. Six sounded insane. Maxine loved it, and called him from New

Hampshire with reports several times a day. And the day after they returned, she left for the conference in Washington, D.C. Charles came down to visit her for one night, and they finally met in her bed at midnight. It had been a very busy week.

It ruffled his feathers a little when she was so busy, but in theory he understood. She was a woman with a demanding medical practice, and three young kids, who were hers to bring up on her own, with no help or guidance from Blake. She couldn't even reach him most of the time, no longer tried, and made every decision on her own.

Blake was wrapped up in his latest house adventure, and his life of “fun,” while she worked her tail off, and took care of their kids. The only one who helped her was Zelda, no one else ever did. Maxine felt eternally grateful and in her debt. Neither Charles nor Blake had any concept of what it took to keep her life running smoothly and her kids attended to and in good shape. Charles's occasional suggestion that she take a month off, to relax and plan the wedding, only made her laugh. What? How? When? No way. She was swamped, and Blake was back to being the invisible man to their kids. He had been adorable with them in Aspen. But he had no plans to see them again before July or August. It was going to be a long time for them to wait, with everything on Maxine's shoulders until then.

And as spring and warm weather came, she saw more and more kids in crisis. Her sicker patients always responded negatively to spring and fall, particularly March, April, May, June, and September. In spring, all the people suffering from winter doldrums began to feel better. The weather was warmer, the sun came out, flowers bloomed, joy was in the air, and the truly sick ones felt more hopeless than ever. They were left like rocks on the beach when the tide went out, and they stuck out in their darkness, misery, and despair. It was a dangerous time for suicidal kids.

Much to her chagrin and despite all her efforts, two of her patients committed suicide in March, and a third one in April. It was a terrible time for her, and Thelma lost one of her patients too, an eighteenyear-old boy she had worked with for four years, and she was heartbroken for the family, and missed the boy herself. September was also an equally dangerous month, and statistically prime time for suicides in adolescent boys.

Thelma and Maxine commiserated about their lost patients over lunch, and Maxine shared the news of her secret engagement with her. It cheered them both, and was a sign of hope in their world.

“Wow! That is big news!” Thelma said, looking thrilled for her. It was a far happier topic than the reason they had lunch. “How do you think your kids will react?” Maxine had told her they weren't telling them till June, and the wedding was planned for August.

“I'm hoping they'll be ready to hear it by then. June is only two months away, but they seem to be adjusting to Charles little by little. Basically, they like the way things have been, having me to themselves, with no man around to share me with, or interfere.” Maxine looked worried as she said it, and Thelma smiled.

“That makes them nice, well-adjusted, normal kids. It's a sweet deal for them having you alone, with no man for them to compete with for your attention.”

“I think Charles will be a great addition to our family. He's just the kind of man we always needed,” Maxine said, sounding hopeful.

“That will make it even harder for them,” Thelma said wisely. “If he were a jerk, they could dismiss him, and so would you. Instead, he's a reasonable candidate and a solid citizen. That'll make him Public Enemy Number One, as far as they're concerned, for a while anyway. Fasten your seat belt, Max, something tells me you may hit some turbulence when you tell them. But they'll get over it. I'm really happy for you,” Thelma said with a broad grin.

“Thanks, me too.” Maxine smiled back at her, still nervous about her kids. “And I think you're right about the turbulence. I'm not looking forward to it, so we put off telling them as long as we could.” But June was just around the corner, only two months away. And Maxine was getting anxious about the big announcement. For the moment, it made their wedding plans a little tense, and somewhat bittersweet. And a little bit unreal, until they told the kids.

She and Charles went to Cartier and picked out a ring in April. They had it sized, and Charles gave it to her formally over dinner, but they both knew she couldn't wear it yet. She kept it in a locked drawer of her desk at home, and took it out to look at it and try it on every night. She loved it. It was beautiful, and the stone sparkled unbelievably. She could hardly wait to wear it. Getting the ring made their plans feel more real. And she had already reserved the date for the caterer in Southampton in August. Their wedding was only four months away. And she wanted to look for a dress. She wanted to tell Blake too, and her parents, but not until after they told the kids. She felt she owed them that.

She, Charles, and the children spent the Easter weekend in Southampton, and had a very nice time. Maxine and Charles whispered about their wedding plans at night, giggling like two kids, and took romantic walks on the beach hand in hand while Daphne rolled her eyes. It was May when Maxine had an unexpectedly serious talk with Zellie. She'd had a bad day. A friend of hers had died in an accident , and for the first time ever, she talked mournfully about her regrets about never having had children of her own. Maxine was sympathetic and figured it would pass. It had just been a very bad day.

“It's not too late,” Maxine said, trying to cheer her up. “You could still meet someone and have a baby.” It was getting late, but it was not over for her yet. “Women have babies a lot later than they used to, with a little help.” She and Charles had talked about it too, and Maxine would have liked that, but Charles felt her three were enough. He felt too old to have his own, which Maxine thought was too bad. She would have loved to have another baby, if he'd been willing. But he wasn't.

“I think I'd rather adopt,” Zelda said practically. “I've been taking care of other people's kids all my life. I don't have a problem with that. I love them like my own.” She smiled, and Maxine hugged her. She knew that was true. “Maybe I should look into adoption sometime,” Zelda continued vaguely, and Maxine nodded. It was one of those things people say to make themselves feel better, but don't necessarily mean. Maxine was fairly certain it was that.

Zelda knew nothing of Maxine's upcoming marriage. But they were planning to tell the children in three weeks when they got out of school. Maxine was apprehensive about it, but excited too. It was time to share their big news with them. Zelda didn't mention the idea of adoption again, and Maxine forgot about it. She assumed Zelda had too.

It was the last day of school, in early June, when Maxine got a call from the school. She was sure it was just a routine call of some kind. The kids were due home in an hour, and she was seeing patients at her office. The call was about Sam. He had been hit by a car when he was crossing the street to get to his car pool. He had been taken to

New York Hospital by ambulance. One of the teachers had gone with him.

“Oh my God, is he all right?” How all right could he be, if they'd taken him away by ambulance? Maxine was panicked.

“They think his leg is broken, Dr. Williams… I'm so sorry, it was chaotic on the last day. He hit his head too, but he was conscious when they left. He's a brave little guy.” Brave? Fuck them. How could they let that happen to her son? She was shaking when she hung up, and rushed back into her office. She'd been seeing a seventeen-yearold boy, who had been a patient for two years, and had taken the call at her secretary's desk. She explained to her patient what had happened, and he told her how sorry he was. She apologized for ending the session, and had her secretary cancel the rest of her afternoon. She grabbed her handbag, and realized she should call Blake too, although there was nothing he could do. But Sam was his son too. She called his house in London, and the butler told her he was in Morocco, and might be at his villa at La Mamounia. When she called the hotel in Marrakech, they took the message but refused to confirm if he was there. His cell phone was on voice mail. She was frantic, and then she called Charles. He said he'd meet her at the emergency room. And with that, she flew out the door.

It was easy to find Sam in the ER. He had a broken arm and leg, two broken ribs, and a concussion, and he looked as though he were in shock. He wasn't even crying. And Charles was wonderful with him. He went into the operating room with Sam when they set the leg and arm. They couldn't do anything about the ribs but wrap them, and the concussion was mild fortunately. Maxine was beside herself as she waited. And later that afternoon, they let her take him home. Charles was still with her, and Sam was holding both their hands. It tore at her heart to see the condition he was in, and they settled him in her bed. They had painkillers to give him, and he was very groggy. Jack and Daphne were beside themselves when they saw him. But he was all right, he was alive, and all the damage would repair. The mother who had been carpooling called and apologized profusely, they had never seen the car coming. The driver had been devastated too. But not as much as Maxine. She was grateful it wasn't worse.

Charles stayed and slept on the couch, and took turns watching Sam with her. They both canceled their patients for the next day, and Zelda kept running in to check on Sam too. Maxine went into the kitchen for a cup of tea at midnight. It was her shift with Sam, and she ran into Daphne, who glared at her.

“Why is he sleeping here?” she demanded, referring to Charles.

“Because he cares about us.” Maxine was tired, and in no mood for Daphne's comments. “He was great with Sam at the hospital. He was in the operating room with him.”

“Did you call Dad?” Daphne asked pointedly, and Maxine had had enough.

“Yes, I did actually. He's in goddamn Morocco, and no one can find him. He hasn't returned my calls. So what else is new? Does that answer your question?” With that, Daphne looked hurt and stormed off to her room. She still wanted her father to be something he wasn't, and never would be. They all did. Jack wanted his father to be a hero, and he wasn't. He was just a man. And everyone, including Maxine, wanted him to be responsible, and somewhere where one could find him. He never was. And this time was no different. It was precisely why they were divorced.

It took Maxine five days to locate him in Morocco. He said there had been an earthquake there, a bad one. And suddenly Maxine vaguely remembered hearing about it. But all she'd thought about for the last week was Sam. He had been miserable with the ribs, and had a headache for several days from the concussion. The arm and leg weren't as bad since they were in casts. And Blake sounded upset when she told him.

“It would be nice if you were somewhere where I can call you, for a change. This is ridiculous, Blake. If anything happens, I can never find you.” She was not amused, and very angry at him.

“I'm really sorry, Max. All the phone lines were down. My cell phone and email haven't worked till today. It was a nasty earthquake, and a lot of people got killed in villages not far from here. I've been trying to help out, organizing airlifts of supplies.”

“Since when have you been playing Good Samaritan?” She was seriously pissed at him. Charles had been there for her. As usual, Blake hadn't.

“They need help. There are people wandering the streets with no food, and bodies all over the place. Look, do you want me to fly in for Sam?”

“You don't need to. He's okay,” she said, calming down. “But it was scary for all of us. Particularly him. He's asleep now, but you should call him in a few hours.”

“I'm sorry, Max,” he said, sounding sincere. “You've got enough on your hands without dealing with that too.”

“I'm all right. Charles was here.”

“I'm glad,” Blake said quietly, and she realized that he sounded tired too. Maybe he really was doing something useful in Morocco, although it was hard to believe. “I'll call Sam later. Give him a kiss from me.”

“I will.”

And he did in fact call Sam several hours later. Sam was thrilled to talk to his dad and told him all about it. He said Charles had stayed in the operating room with him, and held his hand. He told Blake that his mom was upset and the doctor wouldn't let her come in, which was true. She had nearly fainted, worrying about her son. Charles had been the hero of the day. And Blake promised to come and see Sam soon. By then, Maxine had read all about the earthquake in Morocco. It was a big one, and two villages had literally been destroyed and everyone in them killed. There was even extensive damage in the cities. Blake had been telling the truth. But she was still upset that she hadn't been able to reach him for their son. It was typical of Blake. He never changed. He would be a rogue to the end of his days. Or a flake anyway. Thank God she had Charles.

He was still sleeping on the couch by the end of the week, and he had been there for all of them every night after work, and he had been so good with Sam. They both agreed that it was a good time to share their plans with the kids. It was time. It was June, and school was out.

Maxine gathered everyone in the kitchen on Saturday morning. Charles was there with her, which she wasn't entirely convinced was a good idea, but he wanted to be there when she told them, and she felt she owed it to him. He had proven himself with Sam, she couldn't shut him out now. And the children could unburden themselves later to her, if they had anything to say about it.

She sounded a little vague at first, talking about how kind Charles had been to them in the last several months. She looked at each of her children as she said it, as though trying to convince them as well as remind them. She was still afraid of their reaction to the news. And then there was nothing left to do but say it.

“So Charles and I have decided to get married in August.” There was dead silence in the room and absolutely no reaction as they stared at their mother. They looked like statues.

“I love your mother, and you,” Charles added, sounding stiffer than he meant to. But he had never done anything like this before, and they were a daunting group. Zelda was hovering in the background.

“Are you kidding?” Daphne was the first to react, and Maxine answered her seriously.

“No. We're not.”

“You hardly know him.” She spoke to her mother and ignored Charles.

“We've been dating for almost seven months, and at our age we know when it's right.” She paraphrased Charles, and Daphne got up from the kitchen table and walked out of the kitchen without another word. They heard her bedroom door slam a minute later.

“Does Dad know?” Jack asked.

“Not yet,” his mother answered. “We wanted to tell you first. Then I'm going to tell Dad, and Grandma and Grampa. But I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Oh,” Jack said, and then disappeared too. His door didn't slam, it just closed, as Maxine's heart sank. This was even harder than she thought.

“I think it will be good,” Sam said quietly, looking at them both. “You were very nice to me at the hospital, Charles. Thank you.” He was being polite, and he looked less upset than the others, but he wasn't thrilled either. He could easily figure out that he wouldn't be sleeping with his mother anymore. Charles was going to take his place. It was upsetting for them all, and as far as they were concerned, their life had been fine before Charles. “Can I watch TV in your room now?” Sam asked. None of them had asked details of the wedding, or even when it would be exactly. They didn't want to know. And a moment later, Sam had left on his crutches, which he was managing very well. Charles and Maxine were alone in the kitchen, and Zelda spoke up from the doorway.

“Congratulations,” she said softly. “They'll get used to it. It's kind of a shock. I was beginning to suspect that's what you two had in mind.” She smiled, but she looked a little sad too. It was a big change for them all, and they were used to the way things were, and liked them that way.

“It won't change anything for you, Zellie,” Maxine reassured her. “We'll need you just as much. Maybe more.” Maxine smiled.

“Thanks. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you didn't.” Charles looked at her and smiled. She seemed like a nice woman to him, although he didn't love the prospect of running into her in his pajamas late at night when he moved in. He was in for a whole new life, with a wife, three kids, and a live-in nanny. His privacy was a thing of the past. But he still thought this was right. “The kids will adjust,” Zelda reassured them again. “They just need some time.” Maxine nodded.

“It could have been worse,” Maxine said encouragingly. “Not much,” Charles said, looking discouraged. “I was kind of hoping some of them would be pleased. Maybe not Daphne, but at least the boys.”

“No one likes change,” Maxine reminded him. “And this is a big one for them. And for us.” She leaned over and kissed him, and he smiled at her ruefully as Zelda went back to her room, to leave them alone.

“I love you,” he said to her. “I'm sorry your kids are upset.”

“They'll get over it. One day we'll laugh about it, like our first date.”

“Maybe that was an omen,” he said, looking worried.

“No… it's going to be great. You'll see,” Maxine said, and kissed him again. And Charles silently hoped she was right as he took her in his arms. He was sad that her kids weren't happy for them.