Searching for Perfect

twelve

KENNEDY CROSSED HER legs and watched her date’s gaze snag on the short hemline of her skirt. Good. Her body was back in working order and all systems were ready to go. Tonight, she may decide to have sex.

A reward for skipping carbs all week.

She’d dressed carefully, knowing a fine line lay between elegantly sexy versus cheap and available. The black skirt may be short and snug, but the fire-engine red Donna Karan blouse she paired with it had bell sleeves and a demure neckline. The red heels were all “come and get me if you dare.” The peekaboo game was a classic, and she always won.

Always.

Derek slid her another drink across the bar. A real estate mogul, he’d already taken a few phone calls and clearly knew how to work a room. He wore his hair cropped close to the scalp, sported a three-figure custom suit, and looked at her now with hungry blue eyes. His sharklike instinct and good looks kept her amused, and she was even hopeful a longer conversation would prove they had common ground to work with.

“So, how’s your marriage quota doing?” He sipped his martini and gave her an amused look. “Making money?”

She bared her teeth. Any potshots at the career she adored would never be tolerated. “How’s the housing bubble treating you, babe?”

He laughed. “I like a challenge.” His eyes gleamed. “Don’t you?”

“Always. That’s why I buck the odds every day. Finding love in this era and going head to head with divorce statistics reminds me to be brave.”

“An interesting theory. Still not sure why you wanted to settle in Verily. You’re missing out on the excitement and big bucks of Manhattan.”

She swung her foot in rhythm to the blare of rock music. “I like the small-town atmosphere. And we do better with our niche here.”

“Make sure you call me when you’re ready to upgrade your residence. Your gorgeousness deserves a penthouse on the Upper East Side. Not a rundown cottage on the Hudson.”

She tried to concentrate on his compliment rather than on the slight put-down about her choices. It didn’t work. “You barely got through the door. Who are you to judge?”

Derek leaned in. His nostrils flared slightly. “I intend on seeing a lot more than the front porch. Unless you’d like a tour of my new place? There’s a hot tub you’d love.”

“Presumptuous, are we?”

He took another sip. “No, just grown up. I haven’t met a woman who’s intrigued me this much in a while. We’d make a great team.”

Yes. They matched each other quite well. Derek seemed like a male version of her. Career oriented and direct, he obviously lived in the fast lane and loved beautiful things. He’d told her most of the night how much she pleased him—without making her feel objectified. His charm was potent.

He was very different from Nate.

As if her thoughts conjured him up, Nate walked into Mugs with a large man at his side. What was he doing? Didn’t he have a date with Sue tonight? She watched him slide into a booth and imagined him ordering a Darth Maultini. Then needing to explain exactly how to create the cocktail. Ah, that was definitely his brother. Taller and larger, he wore casual clothes, had longish hair, but his sharp, angular features pegged him as family.

Derek’s laugh jerked back her attention. “Any other woman I know would’ve jumped on my remark. You’re gonna make me work for it, aren’t you, babe?”

She tossed him a smile. “As Thomas Paine said, ‘What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value.’ ”

“I surrender. A rocking body and a brain. I’m yours.”

She waited for the prickle of happiness she always experienced when she was able to enchant a man. The perfect foreplay banter usually got her body lit up and ready to go. Instead, her tummy remained steady and her nipples flat. One of her main issues was always the thrill of ensnaring male attention. She’d done the therapy and knew it came from her past of consistently chasing after approval from the opposite sex. When she lost the weight, it was as if she’d dropped into a candy store, and overindulging was an easy way to forget about her other problems. Beautiful men and physical pleasure. Did anything get better than that?

But tonight she just wasn’t in the mood.

Her gaze flickered back to the booth. The drinks had arrived, and they sat with their heads bent together in conversation. Nate threw back his head and laughed. Connor grinned.

“Kennedy?”

She jumped. “Yeah?”

“I have to take this call, it’ll be a few minutes. Forgive me?”

“Of course. I’ll wait here.”

He walked out of Mugs with the phone held to his ear, already barking instructions to his assistant or partner. Well, it was ridiculous not to go over and say hello. Introduce herself to Connor. It would only take a moment.

She grabbed her drink, slid off the stool, and marched to their table.

“Hey.”

Nate looked up. Pleasure shone in his gaze as he took in her appearance, but it was more than a compliment. He seemed to look to the very inside of who she was, beyond the physical form she was so proud of. “Hey.”

“I thought you had a date with Sue.”

“We did. Are you here with the girls?” he asked.

“No, on a date.”

His lips tightened. “Oh. That’s nice. This is my brother, Connor. Connor, meet Kennedy from Kinnections. My matchmaker.”

Connor reached out and shook her hand. “No kidding. I didn’t know they made matchmakers like firefighters.”

“Firefighters?” she asked.

“Darlin’, you’re so smoking hot you need a fire extinguisher for the job.”

Nate winced.

Kennedy studied his brother and did the only thing she could under the circumstances.

She laughed. “I think that scores as one of the worst pick-up lines of all time. Please don’t tell me you ever got lucky with that one.”

Connor pumped up masculine pride. “Nah, but you’re the first matchmaker I’ve ever met.” He winked. “Had to bring out the big guns for you.”

“Thank God. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Connor. Nate speaks highly of you. Says you’re in construction.”

“Yeah, we just finished a job in Westchester. I may be heading out to Tarrytown next.”

“Was it the government building?”

He lit up. “Yeah, that’s the one we just completed.”

“The architecture is gorgeous. But they have major flooding in that area. Do you do anything special with those types of buildings to protect from water flow?”

“Actually, we laid the groundwork with a few drainage systems, then built a special rigging beneath to withstand the pressure. It’s a new technique they do now with the bigger jobs.”

“Interesting, I always wondered about that. Did you hear about the project they’re working on to save Venice?”

“Hell, yes. Called the Moses project. Working twenty-four hours a day and should be done in another five years. They’re constructing a special wall that will release the pressure of the water when it comes in. Not too many people know about it. Hey, why don’t you join us?”

“She’s on a date.”

Nate’s voice came out flat and hard. She glanced toward the door and saw Derek pacing back and forth, the phone still pressed to his ear. “He’s taking a call. I’ll stay just for a few if I’m not interrupting.”

“Nah, we’re just bullshitting.” He slid over to make room and she sat down. “How come you’re not sleeping with Nate?”

Nate spit out his Darth Maultini. “What the hell?”

“Really, bro, you’re a catch. I mean, I don’t get it. You spend all this time at the gym making him work out, get him this new wardrobe, stick something in his eye so he looks good, and you’re not doing him?”

Ah, the directness of the Dunkle brothers was quite refreshing. “We do go to the gym a lot. Has Nate told you how well he’s doing in class?”

“Weight training,” Nate interrupted. “It’s weight-training class.”

Kennedy ignored his glare and tried not to giggle. “Yes, of course, weight-training class. He’s quite the star.”

“Just like I taught him.”

“Yes, but since he’s a client, I’m afraid we can’t ‘do’ each other.”

Connor nodded. “Makes sense. So, I had a great idea. Instead of running a matchmaking agency to set up people for marriage, why don’t you start a one-night-stand agency? It’ll make it a hell of a lot easier to hook up for an evening.”

Nate groaned and reached for his drink. “That’s asinine.”

“Actually, Connor is brilliant. It will make a ton of money. I just need to change the description to a brothel. Or a high-class escort agency. Then I’ll get my name splashed in the newspapers, score a Lifetime movie of the week, and have to use my piles of money to bail myself out of jail. Thanks for the idea.”

Connor shook his head when Nate laughed. “You’re a real pistol, darlin’. Maybe I should let you hook me up after all.”

“Only if you’re open to love.”

“A mirage. A perfect night of pleasure is realistic.”

“Actually, that’s the real mirage,” she said. “The dark hides a lot. No one has to tell secrets, get messy, or deal with morning breath. Daylight is the hard part. The realistic part.”

Nate stiffened. His gaze swung to hers, and suddenly, her breath shortened and her heart pounded and time stopped. God, his eyes were pure fire and burn, pinning her beneath his stare and forcing her to acknowledge there was something between them. Her words hung in the air, heavy and ripe with promise. What was she doing? What had she said?

Connor cleared his throat, as if he knew that he had interrupted something big. “Pretty deep. So, how about you ditch your date and we take a quick trip to Paradise City?”

“Where’s that?”

He dropped his voice. “My place, darlin’. What do you say?”

Nate rubbed his forehead as if in deep pain. Kennedy laughed with delight. It got better and better. “Awful, just awful. As much as I adore Axl Rose, I’ll pass.” Derek strode through the door, his gaze scanning the room. “Gotta go. He’s back.” She slid out of the booth. “Nice to meet you, Connor. Nate, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Sure. Bye.”

She walked away and wondered why she felt more alive after a two-minute conversation with Nate than she had the whole evening with the man she might sleep with.

FUCK.

Nate finished his drink and tried to listen to his brother’s long narrative about Jerry’s cheating ex. He should’ve never come to Mugs. How the hell was he supposed to know she’d be out on a date? Not just any date, either. But with someone who matched her perfectly. He wore his clothes like a male model, towered over her in height, and had his hands on her thigh like he had a right to be there.

Prickface.

He brooded, drank, and imagined punching Mr. Pretty Boy in the face. The violent tendencies came from a dark, deep place inside he never knew existed. They chatted at the bar, clearly engaged in a flirty, verbal sparring that twisted his gut. He bet her date never stumbled over his words, or said idiotic things, or dropped food on his outfit. Bet he never got buzzed by a dog collar either.

Depression pressed down on him. He should’ve slept with Sue. Who cares if she was a bit judgmental of his brother? Most women raced for the door once he opened his mouth. She would’ve gotten used to his behavior, and eventually come to love him, and then Nate would’ve had an orgasm, and been happy instead of sexually frustrated and in the depths of misery.

Fuck.

The guy tugged her off the stool, grabbed her hands, and led her toward the back. Great. Probably sneaking in a good make-out session before moving the grand finale to his house. Or hers. The image of the kiss they shared in the rain floated in his vision. He’d thought it was hot and passionate and beautiful. But of course, it meant nothing to her. She was already dragging out the flavor of the week back there to imprint a new memory. He was a schmuck. Chasing after someone of Kennedy’s caliber only set him up for failure.

He was done. He’d call her in the morning and get a new date set up. Mary was his second choice and seemed like a good fit. This time, he’d be more open and less opinionated. This time, he’d have some damned sex.

He sat for a while until Connor finally wound down on the new chapter of how beautiful women sucked and would eventually rip your heart to shreds. “You okay, bro? You look weird.”

Maybe it was that third drink. Sometimes he was a bit of a lightweight. “Gotta hit the bathroom. Then I think I’m ready to wrap up.”

He pushed his way through the crowds, took care of his business, and began to head back to his brother. Then paused. Was she still out there? Was he that much of a pussy that he needed to see her kiss someone else with his own eyes? Yes. Maybe the image would finally sear into his dick and his brain and he’d finally stop fantasizing about her.

Muttering under his breath, he went to the back door and stepped out. The small porch was black and silent. Gone. Probably home with him right now, taking off her clothes and diving into bed. Bastard.

“Don’t.”

The tiny whisper floated on the breeze. Nate paused and cocked his head. The low murmur of voices came from the side of the building, hidden beneath a few large bushes. A laugh. Crap, he so didn’t want to interrupt some edgy role-play. He’d never recover.

“Don’t play the virginal tease. Unless you like that. We’ve been leading up to this all night.”

“Get your fucking hands off me.”

A body slam. “Fine, we can do rough. Undo the blouse. Show me your tits.”

A moan.

“I know you want it.” A rip. “Nice tits, baby. Very hot.”

“No.”

The whisper was full of agony, not pleasure.

Nate moved.

In seconds, he ripped the guy off her. He stumbled back and shook his head. “What the hell, man? You’re interrupting a private moment.”

Nate studied Kennedy. She leaned back against the wall, her hands holding up her torn blouse. Her lips looked well kissed. She was breathing hard, as if aroused. And then he saw her eyes.

Vacant.

She stared back at him as if she were somewhere else, somewhere she didn’t want to be, and was trapped in a hell of her own making. Jesus, what had happened? He tamped down hard on the swirling rage and temper dying to fly out, and concentrated on her. “You okay, Ken?” He spoke gently. It took a few seconds, but her gaze finally cleared. She blinked, as if surfacing from a deep sleep.

“Huh?”

He walked over and touched her cheek. His hand shook as he surveyed her defensive position. “Did this guy hurt you?”

Prickface’s voice piped up in sheer disgust. “For God’s sake, we’re fooling around out here, Lancelot. You ruined a good moment.”

Nate didn’t break his gaze, just kept stroking her cheek. “Want me to beat the shit out of him? Call the cops? Talk to me, Ken.”

Her voice came out husky. “No. I just want to go. I want to . . . go.”

“With him?”

“No!” Her body burst into tiny convulsions that tore his heart to shreds.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I got you.” He put his arm around her back and led her forward.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Prickface stood before them, a tiny smirk on his lips. He was a good few inches taller than Nate, with broader shoulders. “I’ll take her home. I didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re not treating me like some scum date rapist. Don’t embarrass me, Kennedy. Tell this guy we were just fooling around.”

Humiliation flickered in her eyes, but it was the second emotion on her face—fear—that helped him make the decision that he would fight this asshat if he had to. “Forget it, things got a bit out of control. Nate, can you take me home?”

“Aww, babe, don’t be like that. We’ll talk. Let’s not ruin a good night.”

She flinched as he took a step forward. Nate stepped in between them and put out his hand. “This is how it’s gonna be. Walk away and don’t contact her again. I’ll get her home. Got it?”

Prickface sneered. “Don’t think so. I take care of my own dates and my business.”

Nate tried for calm, he really did, but the fury exploded from the cold ball of lead in his gut and burst through his veins. “Last chance. Then I’m going to beat the shit out of you.”

Prickface laughed. “You and what army?” He rolled up his custom designer sleeves and came at Nate slowly. “You know what? This is gonna be fun. I haven’t taught someone a lesson in a long time.”

“I agree. It’s time I teach you when a woman says no, she means it.”

“Nate!” Her cry of alarm soothed his soul. “Please, let’s just go. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Stay here, Ken. I’ll be right back.”

“But—”

Prickface came at him with a pathetic lunge and a sloppy right hook. Nate dodged left and connected. Score. Asshole blinked through a puffy eye, cursed, and got reinvigorated. “You’re gonna pay for that one.”

With a bored sigh, Nate judged his next move to be an uppercut followed by a kick to the knees. So nineties. He compensated with a sidestep and a few lightning jabs to the chin. Bone cracked. Score.

Prickface fell this time but got up. With a vicious curse, he went for the full-out body slam. Nate swept his front ankle and gave him the full left.

Knockout.

He left him bleeding in a pile by the bushes. Kennedy watched his approach with wide eyes. He took off his jacket, slid it over her shoulders, and buttoned it over her torn blouse. “Let’s go. I got you.”

“Not inside. Not like this.”

He nodded. “I know. I’m taking you out the side, we’ll walk.”

She didn’t answer. He tucked her in close to him for warmth, and they made their way through the streets of Verily toward his house. This time, she ducked her head instead of soaking up the sights and sounds of a busy evening, and he hurried his pace. She didn’t question him when he settled her on the sofa in the living room, or when he put on a pot to boil water for tea. He quickly texted his brother to let him know he ditched him and walked home, promising to check in tomorrow. She sat docilely, staring at the wall. He left her alone with her thoughts.

But the anger burned.

He calmed his mind and his temper by pouring the water in a bright yellow mug Genevieve had left behind and dunking a honey-vanilla chamomile teabag. When a nice, rich color had been achieved, he used a teaspoon to fish out the bag. He didn’t bother with milk, honey, or lemon, already sensing that she’d drink tea like coffee—straight up. He wiped off the droplets on the side of the mug, grabbed a coaster, and brought it into the living room.

“Drink this.”

She automatically reached out for the cup. “I don’t like tea.”

“I know. But this will soothe your nerves.”

She sipped the steamy liquid. He waited. She looked up and nodded. “It’s good.”

“Would you like a cookie to go with it? I have Stella D’oros in the pantry.”

“No, thank you.” She sipped more of the tea. “How did your date go?”

Nate sat down on the couch next to her, almost exactly as he’d positioned himself a few hours ago with Sue. Now, everything was different. “Not good. She didn’t like Connor. I don’t think I can see her again.”

She studied her cup for a while. “I was afraid she’d be too stiff. I’m sorry. Maybe you’d like to date Mary?”

“Maybe.”

“I liked your brother. He needs some training on what to say and what not to say, but he’s real. And he took care of you. He sticks with the people he loves. I like that.”

Dear God, help him. He was crazy about her. Just stick a fork in him and call it a day. Nate swallowed around the thick constriction in his throat. “Yeah. He’s pretty cool once you get to know him. Guess your date didn’t go too well either, huh?”

She snorted out a half laugh. “Guess not. You really beat his ass.”

“Guess so.”

“I had no idea you could fight like that. You went all Bruce Lee and Fight Club on me.”

He fought a smile. “Nah, I didn’t make those weird noises. It’s easy. Body stature and strength are only a portion of success. It’s mind-set, agility, and planning. Connor taught me the basics of how to defend myself. I came home with a broken arm one day from getting jumped, and after he drove me to the hospital, he took me straight to the gym. Showed me how to kick and use my natural abilities to fight. After that, I studied everything on martial arts and boxing and fine-tuned the process.”

“You always seem to surprise me, Nate Dunkle.”

“As do you, Kennedy Ashe.”

She looked up, startled. Must have spotted something scary in his eyes, because she bent over and busied herself with finishing her tea and setting it down carefully on the coaster. “I better go. Thanks for helping me out.”

“What happened?”

She froze. Curled her fingers into fists before deliberately relaxing them. Her voice wobbled only slightly before she pulled it back, but he caught it. “Just a kiss that got out of hand. I’m embarrassed you had to see it. Let’s forget about the whole episode.”

“You said no quite clearly. Why would you be embarrassed?”

The first sign of temper flared. She lifted her chin as if trying to gain strength and get her badass back. “Because normally I would’ve taken care of it myself. I’ve mastered my own moves over the years. Something freaked me out and I—I—panicked. I hate that you got involved.”

“He almost hurt you. If I see him again, I’ll kill him.”

Her mouth fell open. Those lips were soft and moist, reminding him of a ripe honeydew melon before that first bite. She seemed taken aback by the violence in his words, but it was another part of himself he kept hidden. Years of bullying and being dumped for the next best thing had caused a buildup of scar tissue. Nate learned how to compartmentalize, using logic and reason to keep in the light. But anyone who laid a hand on his woman would pay.

His woman? What was happening to him?

He dragged in a breath. His body was on high alert from the adrenaline, which usually translated into sexual arousal. Textbook. Not that it took much to get there with Kennedy in the room. It was a hotbed of emotions, and his dick was just responding to the overstimulation of the whole damn evening.

“Don’t say that. He said something to me. Stupid, I know, but it released a memory I wanted to forget.”

He figured she wouldn’t tell him, and that was okay. But he didn’t want her alone tonight. Not when the monsters in the closet came out. “Stay here tonight. With me.”

“Oh, I can’t—”

“Not with me, of course. I know you’re not interested. I’ll crash on the couch. Take a few hours, sleep it off, and we can forget about it in the morning. Okay?”

She hesitated, but the flare of relief in her amber eyes settled the deal for him. No way was he sending her to an empty house. He may not be able to wrap his arms around her, slide between her thighs, and promise to slay her dragons. But he could damn well make sure she was safe.

“Are you sure?”

He didn’t answer. Nate went into the hall closet, took down a blanket and spare pillow, and dropped them on the sofa. “Yes. Go to bed, Ken. There are T-shirts in my top drawer. I’ll be out here if you need me.”

She stared at him for a long time. Her lashes were extra long, dark, and thick; she lowered her gaze to the floor, as if she was still considering trying to keep her pride and return home. Finally, she rose and headed toward the bedroom. Her meekness broke his heart, but he bet her tiger roar would be back at the first light of day.

The door gently shut behind her.

Nate sank to the couch and dropped his face into his hands. He’d never sleep tonight. Choppy emotions coursed through him like a water-rafting ride gone bad. Rarely did he get the opportunity to take care of someone. This was a time he could be her friend and supporter, and he wasn’t about to screw it up by thinking about sex or wanting something to happen between them that was impossible. The next day, she’d be back to dating prickfaces again, but for a little while, she belonged to him. Sleeping in his bedroom, her head on his pillow, her scent soaking into the sheets.

It was enough.

He got himself together. Cleaned up the tea, turned off the lights, and lay down on the sofa to keep watch.

It was going to be a long night.

KENNEDY LAY ON TOP of the comfortable cotton sheets and stared at the ceiling. The lights blared full strength, and she knew Nate was right outside the door, but the words kept drifting in her brain.

Show me your tits.

Her body shook, but her mind raged against her weakness. Just words spoken by an idiot male pumped up by hormones. Ridiculous to backslide into the past. The worst was the way she shut down, helpless to fight or process the scene. What would’ve happened if Nate hadn’t interrupted? Goose bumps broke out on her arms, and she pulled up the comforter to her chin in an effort to get warm. She rarely made mistakes with men, and yet she’d committed a doozy with Derek. Women didn’t get a second chance.

Hadn’t she learned that lesson years ago?

Sometimes the sounds haunted her most—fingers ripped, voices laughed. The crippling humiliation of helplessness while her body was exploited, as if it didn’t even belong to her. She remembered afterward looking down at all her math and science books scattered on the concrete. Picking them up one by one and wishing she wasn’t smart, wishing she were beautiful, so beautiful and thin that she held the power.

A whimper caught in her throat. The lights didn’t help. She needed to banish the memory, forget the ghosts, and there was only one way to do it.

Kennedy climbed out of the bed and opened the door.

“Nate?”

“I’m here.” He sat up, lifted the blanket, and beckoned her over. She dove for comfort, shivering with her bare legs exposed from the T-shirt. Blessed warmth wrapped around her as he tucked her into his chest, slid his arms open, and held her close.

The sweetness of his touch drove out the numbness, and she relaxed against him, her muscles melted into the hard planes of his chest, the strength of his biceps, the powerful thighs underneath her. He murmured soothing words into her ears and rested his chin on top of her head. In this darkness, she felt safe. In this darkness, with him, she opened the past and shared.

“There was a boy in school. He used to wait for me in the hallway and say things. Sexual things. He’d call me fat and say I needed to know about sex or I’d never get a boyfriend, that smart, fat girls would always end up alone. I was afraid of him, but no one ever helped. They thought it was funny. A lot of times, other boys would join him and laugh when I tried to get away.”

His body tightened, but he kept stroking her hair, and she spoke against his chest, in the dark.

“He’d—he’d make me show him my breasts. Told me if I didn’t do it, he’d send his friends to find me and they wouldn’t be so nice. I was scared. I never knew when he’d show up or where. He’d just be standing there with this grin, and these sick eyes, and say ‘Show me your tits’ over and over. At first, I refused, but he threatened me. Said he’d send over his crew to play. So I finally did, Nate, I did, because I didn’t know what else to do, and then he’d go away for a while.”

She gulped for breath and hung on tight.

“One day, he followed me after school and pushed me into an alley. I thought it was the usual, but there were two other boys there. They surrounded me. Pulled at my shirt, kept telling me to show them my tits. I cried, but they didn’t care, and they ripped open my shirt and bra and touched me. Laughed at my fat belly. Said fat girls needed to be good at blow jobs because that’s how they got men to like them. They pushed me down and touched me in places, but I fought, and then someone saw them and came into the alley and chased them away.”

Her heart pounded and sweat drenched her skin, though she shivered and buried deeper into his chest for warmth. “I hated them for making me scared. For taking away my body and my self and my sanity. I told my mother and went to the police. I reported it to the school. And after that, I stopped eating. I decided if I were thin and beautiful, I’d have power. I got sick, and they won after all. But not anymore. I got strong, and healthy, and owned my body again, on my terms.”

“They didn’t win,” Nate growled. “Never again. My sweet, brave girl.” He pressed kisses to her temple, holding her so tight she knew nothing could ever get to her if he was around. How long had it been since a man held her to comfort her? To give her strength? Never. She used men for companionship, for sex, for distraction. Not once had she told another person the truth about her past except for Kate, Arilyn, and her therapist. They’d kept her sane, but now she’d broken her cardinal rule and Nate was in the inner circle.

“I close my eyes and see it again and again. I need to get them out of my mind. I won’t let them win tonight. Help me.”

“What, sweetheart? What?”

“Make love to me.”

The silence pulsed like it was alive, the demand hanging over them in a big bubble, awaiting his answer. She knew she was going to hell, knew what she asked was selfish and horrible and wrong, but already her body was alive, demanding she slake the primitive hunger roaring through her soul to be claimed by this man. One night. Just one night with her rocket scientist and she’d let him go again.

“Are you sure?” He forced her head up, digging his fingers into her scalp with a delicious pressure. “I’m not a saint, Ken. I’ve wanted you for a damn long time, but you don’t have to promise me sex to get what you want. I’ll hold you and kiss you and keep you safe, and you can go home in the morning. Don’t offer me something out of guilt.”

This time, she got angry. “How dare you accuse me of offering pity sex!” she hissed. “If I had a damn collar around your neck, I’d buzz you twice! I want you, Nate Dunkle. I want to replace those horrible memories with something good and right and sweet. And I know I’m screwed up, and I’m your matchmaker, and this is the worst thing I can ask you to do, but I don’t care. So a simple yes or no at this point would be a good thing.”

“Yes.”

He crashed his mouth over hers.

She never saw him coming. He simply took over, possessed her mouth, and buried his hands in her hair to keep her still. His tongue stroked her lips until she opened wide and gave him what he wanted. He sunk in deep, and she moaned under the gorgeous skill of his teeth and lips and tongue. Using the perfect suction, he sipped and commanded and gave, until her head spun and she grew wet between her legs. His taste and scent swamped her senses, and she hung on for the ride, already under his spell and seeing no need to fight it. He kissed her endlessly, taking his time, learning every secret of her mouth. She arched up for more and clung to his shoulders, but he never hurried, as if she were a science experiment he intended to study and learn no matter how many hours it took.

Finally, he lifted his head. Her lids were heavy when she opened her eyes. Her entire body throbbed with need, from the tight ache of her nipples to the drenched core between her thighs.

“I want to fuck you, Ken. Slow and hard, in so many ways there’s not a part of your body I haven’t used and pleasured. Don’t think this is going to be a quick round with sweet kisses and politeness. I’ve waited too long. Understood?”

Dear God, who would’ve thought her rocket scientist knew how to talk dirty? Heat sizzled in her veins and her mouth grew dry. “Yes.”

“Good.” Without another word, he lifted her from the couch and walked into his bedroom, laying her down on the bed. He stripped her quickly of his T-shirt, and his gaze devoured the flesh left bare by her black bra and thong as he stood beside the bed like a conquering warrior about to partake in his spoils. His stillness only heightened her arousal, the way he took in every inch, probing, his moss green eyes filled with intentions of what he was going to do to her. She shuddered with pure anticipation. She was used to being the aggressor, taking what she wanted, and guiding her lovers in the way she enjoyed. This time, she realized he was in charge.

And she loved it.

“You deserve multiple orgasms every day, sweetheart. The female body is designed for pleasure in a way the male can never attain.” As he spoke, he ran his palm down her belly, across her quivering thighs, to her calves. He paused to pluck at the silver chain still clasped around her ankle, linking his fingers in a loose circle and bending her leg by the knee. “So many erogenous zones men ignore in the quest for the almighty orgasm. It should be a crime to miss out on such foreplay. Each step leads to a more intense explosion and release.”

He hadn’t even touched her, and she was already panting for breath. Her nipples stabbed against the lace of her demicup and demanded to be sucked. He was like a witch doctor for sex.

She allowed her legs to bend open, hoping for some early action, but he brought both hands to her foot and took a firm hold. “Take a woman’s foot. There are certain pressure points that stimulate sexual arousal.” Using his thumbs, he pressed, rubbed, and rotated over the sensitive soles, keeping the pressure just firm enough not to slip into being ticklish. Bending his head, he nibbled on her toes, his tongue coming out to lash the tender skin until a moan spilled from her lips. So good. How had she never known a foot massage could make her so hot? She’d always thought them to be relaxing, like at a spa, but now tingles shot up her legs straight to her pussy. “Do you like that?” His voice was husky with demand. “I need you to tell me what you do and don’t like.”

“Yes. I like that.”

“Good.” He continued for a while, until her muscles gave out and she sunk deep into the mattress. He slowly released her foot, ripped off his T-shirt and boxers, and stood before her naked.

Oh, my.

“Umm, Nate?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re very . . . well endowed.”

He grinned. A totally masculine, seductive, “curl your toes and surrender now” kind of grin. “The more to pleasure you with, my dear.”

“Or kill me.”

“I’ll make sure you’re ready first.” His eyes gleamed. “Three orgasms beforehand should do it.”

“Wh-wh-what?”

“Shush. I’m busy.” He pulled her legs apart and crawled on the bed between them. Kennedy sighed with pleasure, ready to be ravished, but he bent his head and began nibbling around her knee.

“Umm, a bit higher, please.”

One sharp nip on the backside shut her right up. A hot flash sizzled across her skin. “Another zone sorely neglected. The back of the knee, and of course, the inner thigh. Let’s see which spot you prefer, shall we?”

Kennedy gasped as his fingers played and stroked her inner flesh, while his mouth licked and scraped sharp teeth down the plump curve right before her ass. Her clit throbbed madly for pressure, and little sparks of fire bumped across her body, firmly connected to every motion of his tongue and fingers.

“Hmm, interesting, you seem to favor your right side. I’ll have to remember that.”

If he had access to his pocket protector, would he whip out his pencil and pad and make notes? And how was that the sexiest thing she’d ever experienced in her life?

“Nate, please, I need—”

“Moving on and up. The mons.” He pressed his nose against her mound and breathed in deep. Her hips shot up and begged for more, and arousal leaked through the flimsy lace. She waxed regularly, and the feel of his stubble against her smooth, swollen center made her fist her hands in the sheets and almost beg for mercy. Almost. He wasn’t even halfway done with her body and he’d turned her on more than full-out sex ever had. “You smell so fucking good. Spice and musk and honey all at once.” He divested her of the soaking lace in one graceful swoop, and then lowered his head again. “I love you bare here, it gives me full access to every delicious part of your anatomy.” He nuzzled and stroked but never got to the most sensitive, critical parts that screamed for attention. “Caressing you here gives your body the signal to demand more, which increases your fluid, ah, like that. You’re so beautifully wet and swollen.”

His educational litany on the female body drove her crazy with lust. Seems temper and arousal elicited his use of curse words, another secret part of her lover she adored discovering. “Ah, God, can we get on with it?”

He made a clucking noise against her mons, which almost shuddered a mini half orgasm through her. Almost. “Of course, we’ll get back to the most important parts.” He dipped his tongue into her belly button and nibbled. His hands coasted behind and unsnapped her bra with one hand. Her breasts fell free from their restriction, and cool air rushed over her hard nipples. She twisted to get closer, aching to get his tongue on her and have him suck. He spread butterfly kisses over her cleavage and rubbed his stubble over her breasts. “The breasts are usually the first part a man goes to, but there’s so much more than just the nipples. Take the areolas. Yours are gorgeously dark and dusty and puckered. If I scrape my teeth slowly around, like this, and avoid your nipple, how does that feel?”

She groaned, trapped between heaven and hell and a looming orgasm. “Hurts a little, but so good. More.”

He obeyed, treating the other breast to full treatment. Studiously avoiding contact with his tongue, he used his teeth to pull and elongate her nipple while his other hand plumped and stroked. She drowned in the sensation of being the subject of his study and wondered if she’d die before he even slipped inside her. “So beautiful, and responsive. I want to spend hours sucking and licking your breasts until I make you come without anything else. But we don’t have time for that now.”

Kennedy whimpered. She tried to wriggle her legs to rub against his thigh for some relief, but he pinned her open without giving her what she wanted. “Ah, the nipples. I’ve dreamed of yours for so long, imagined their color and texture, but this puts my fantasies to shame.” He plucked and ran one thumb over the aching tip. She jumped and his gaze narrowed in lust and satisfaction. “Perfect. Deep red like a ripe cherry. Will you taste tart or sweet? Some men use clamps to restrict the blood flow and make them more sensitive, but a few careful pinches and enough foreplay will do that without the jewelry. Let me demonstrate.”

Oh, he did. His tongue swirled and licked, while he pinched with just enough pressure to keep her on the fine line of exquisite pain and pleasure. She was reduced to grunts and moans for more, until he bestowed mercy and moved a bit higher.

“The nape of the neck. Again, extremely underused. But a woman can feel that touch over every inch of her body, which shoots right to the clit. I bet you’ll prefer the right side again.” He used his teeth and tongue and found the spot. Just as he promised, little convulsions of pleasure shivered through her and settled on the pulsing bud of nerves in between her thighs.

“Please, oh, please, are we done? I need you so badly.”

“I warned you, Ken. I’m not about to rush through when I have you naked and open and under me. Final zone. The lips. Open your mouth for me.”

She did, and he took her in a deep, dark kiss, his tongue thrusting in and out as he deflowered her mouth of any innocence. Pressed into the mattress, her bones liquefied, Kennedy surrendered to anything and everything he wanted.

He slid down her body and used his thumbs to pull her apart. His gaze burned hot and hungry as he studied every inch of her splayed pussy, then blew gently on her open lips.

“Nate!”

“The first orgasm is usually from clitoral stimuli. Let’s see how much we can build it before you explode.” Then his mouth was finally on her, his tongue licking her labia and treating her to a full open body kiss. She cried out and wiggled madly for the pressure she craved, just a scrape and she would—

His teeth gently dragged over the nub and he sucked on it.

She climaxed hard and fast and violent. Spasms shook her and she screamed as the pleasure coursed through her and didn’t stop. Waves of release leaked from her body and he never stopped the gorgeous sucking pressure of his lips, so as she floated down, he forced her right back up and over into another orgasm.

When she surfaced, he was staring up at her, drinking in her expression with those intense eyes that shred past barriers and dove deep. She was too far gone to hide, a delicious languor sneaking into her bones and making her pliant. His low laugh told her it wasn’t over.

“You ruined me. You come as hard as you do everything in life—full force and no holds barred. I’ll have to do that several times a day. Did you enjoy that?”

Her voice broke in a whisper. “Yes.”

“Good. Now on to the g-spot.”

She had no time to protest or beg off. He curled his fingers and plunged inside, pumping in and out until he hit something that burst into streams of fire.

“Oh!”

“Right there.” He smiled with fierce satisfaction and settled into a maddening push-pull of his fingers thrusting in and out of her body. She tried to suck him in deeper, but he kept the steady pace, never losing rhythm, until her muscles tightened and she was drawn as tight as a bow. She panted for breath and unbelievably, another release. “Ah, you’re close, so fucking sweet, come for me again, yes, like that, fuck yes.”

She came again in a long wail.

Kennedy shut her eyes and moaned in surrender. “No more. Can’t, no more.”

Another low laugh. A rip. Then a massive, throbbing cock poised at her dripping center. “Now you’re ready.”

He filled her without hesitation, pushing inch by precious inch until he was buried balls deep inside her. Her head thrashed back and forth at the feeling of being stuffed so tight, there was no room to breathe, no room to fight or hold anything back for herself. But he didn’t care, she tried to buck him off, but he tugged her wrists over her head and held them tight with one hand. “Open your eyes and look at me, Ken.”

She did.

His whole body pressed into every inch of hers. She was pinned beneath him, helpless under his strength, his cock, his burning gaze that demanded she give up everything, right now, right then.

“Tonight, you’re mine.”

He moved. Back and forth, restating his verbal claim with his physical possession and drive to eradicate every memory from her mind except how Nate fucked her, body and soul. As if he realized she needed to be held down, he never let up the grip of her wrists, and she bucked madly upward, demanding more. A groan ripped from his lips. He quickened the pace, his cock driving in and out while he ground against her clit until the tension broke and exploded.

He shouted her name and spilled his seed, his hips still pistoned madly, wringing the last drop of pleasure from both of them. Finally, he collapsed on top of her and let go of her wrists. Kennedy tried to remember how to breathe, and his heart pounded against her ear. His skin was warm and slightly damp, and the musky scent of man and sex rose to her nostrils.

He inched off her slowly, but never broke contact, choosing to roll to his side, their legs still intermingled. Minutes ticked by. Their breathing slowly resumed. Kennedy wondered if she was dead, then realized she didn’t care.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Rest. We’ve just gotten started.”

Dear God.

Nate Ellison Raymond Dunkle was a master.

KENNEDY CRUSHED HER FACE into the soft pillow and sighed. What a perfect dream. Lying on her stomach, she flexed her calf, and the tiny bite of pain in her muscles made her smile. Funny, it was almost like she had sex last night. A lot of sex. The ache between her thighs throbbed for something to fill it. It was still night, and she was so tired and happy, she didn’t want to open her eyes and let reality intrude. An odd fulfillment coursed through her veins and there was no need to screw with it right now. She’d just go back to sleep and . . .

Oh, my.

A tongue ran up the back of her thighs and gentle, but firm hands pushed her legs apart. Her body perked up and slammed into demand mode, wanting more of that teasing, wet kiss. Those hands moved to her ass and rubbed her cheeks, pulling them apart and massaging deep, and the tongue kept stroking, closer to her wet, throbbing center that wept for relief. She bit her lip and moaned into the pillow. Oh, please don’t let me wake up too soon, oh please, oh please . . .

Teeth bit deep into the curve of her ass.

The sharp pain zapped her to attention. She bucked, but the raw shot of pleasure stole her breath.

“How does that feel? Too much?”

The rumble of Nate’s voice hit her ears. Raw images of what they had done together danced in her vision, and suddenly she was wide awake. “Hurts. But then it feels good. What are you doing?”

“Everything. I’ve neglected your rear and that’s a crime. I knew I missed another erogenous zone.”

Her belly dropped. This just wasn’t . . . possible. “You didn’t take a Viagra or anything, did you?”

He laughed low and the vibrations against her skin coaxed another shiver. “I have you. Don’t need it. I studied tantric principles that teach control. A little BDSM. Various postures to ensure full stimulation.”

He did something so erotic and naughty to her rear she whimpered. Usually, she hated men looking at her bottom. It was the one part of her anatomy she felt was too big no matter how much she worked out. “I’m more comfortable on my back.”

“I’m not. Reach out and grab the headboard.”

The command threw her off kilter, but she did it. “Nate, I don’t think I can have another orgasm.”

Another silky laugh. Those wicked fingers dipped into her channel, stretched, and played. “Liar. I love your ass. Firm, full, and sweet as sugar. I want to try something. Tell me if you don’t like it.”

“I—oh!”

As his fingers played between her legs, he slapped her rear with the open palm of his other hand. The sound of flesh against flesh exploded in the room. She flinched, but tingles of warmth spread over her ass and into her clit. “Yes. No?”

She gritted her teeth together and told the truth. “Yes.”

“Hell, there’s just a blush of pink, I need more.” He gave a few more firm slaps, then removed his fingers to rub her stinging cheeks. The mixed-up sensations of pain, pleasure, and arousal pumped through her and made her crazy. “So fucking beautiful. I was never into the dom thing, but damn if I wouldn’t love to tie you up and pleasure you until you beg.”

She moaned. “I’m begging now. Can’t take it.”

“Your back is so graceful. The smooth line of your spine, the dimples above your ass.” He ran his tongue up and down, nibbling on her spine, continuing to rub, press, and arouse. Suddenly, he moved up and lay completely on top of her, his front pressed to her back, his erection at her dripping entrance. His hot breath rushed over her ear as he tugged her hair to the side. His tongue caressed the delicate shell of her ear, nipped her lobe, and his hands teased the plump sides of her breasts. She was trapped, helpless, waiting for him to make the next move, and she realized in that moment he held more power over her than any man before him. Her mind spun, her body cried out for relief, and still he pushed her limits, his throbbing cock slipping in a few precious inches and then stopping.

“I want to fuck you again.”

“Yes!”

“How bad do you want it?”

A whine escaped her lips. “I’ll do anything. Please.”

“Even play more golf?”

“Bastard.”

His dick slipped out of her and he bit her shoulder. A shudder wracked her body. “Yes! I’ll play golf with you, I promise.”

“Good girl. Let go of the headboard and get on your knees.”

She positioned herself like he demanded, and she heard the rustle of a wrapper as he sheathed his penis with a condom. He pushed against her entrance with slow, deliberate movements until he was fully seated. He filled every inch, driving away her breath, and she wiggled her hips, desperate for him to move. His groan gave her a surge of satisfaction. “You’re going to kill me.”

“Good. Can we get on with it, please?”

“Brat. I read in Cosmo that if you line up doggy style, I’ll have a better chance of hitting your g-spot every time.”

She arched her back and tried to force him to do something. His length throbbed inside of her, making electrical circuits of fire shoot off at various nerve endings. “Sounds like a plan. Any time now.”

His chuckle gave her a bad feeling. “Not yet. I need to properly stimulate you first.”

“Trust me, I’m stimulated.”

Remaining still, he rocked tiny inches back and forth, just to give her a taste, while his hands stroked down her back and reached underneath to play with her nipples. Little tugs tightened the nubs to hard points, and her breasts swelled underneath all the attention. Her hands trembled as she held herself up, helpless and aching for his next touch. Those talented fingers spent long minutes on her breasts, before moving to her back. He smoothed his palms down and nibbled on her spine, licking downward, pulling her ass cheeks apart to stab his tongue against her until she writhed and begged and pleaded.

Grasping her hips, he pulled out and slammed back into her.

The rippling delight spread out over her body and concentrated on her pounding clit. He swiveled his hips and did it again. Then again.

The fifth stroke hit the spot. She screamed as bliss shimmered and gripped every muscle.

“Ah, got it. Hold on, sweetheart.”

She twisted the sheets in her fingers and gave up. Driving, hard thrusts met that magic place, forcing her higher and higher, the tension squeezing mercilessly until her throat clogged with tears and she knew she’d die from the ache. His fingers slipped between her legs, pinched her clit hard, and then let go.

“Ah!”

The orgasm took over and shattered her foundation. She rode out the release, but he kept going, until the second orgasm ripped through and she collapsed helplessly on the bed. He stroked and murmured soothing words as he rolled her boneless body over onto his chest and held her tight. She closed her eyes and wondered if her rocket scientist had ruined her for life.