Second Chance for Romance

Chapter 30

We spent all day in the studio. I took apart the box and then Christy and her friends gingerly cut the pink mold material away from the clay sculpture.

They all knew what they were doing at this stage, so I kept out of the way and organized the notes for my final project writeup.

The trio of artists spent several hours checking and cleaning the mold segments. Then Christy asked me to reassemble the box upside down. They sprayed release agent into the first empty mold piece and added it to the box.

They did the same with the others and used quick-drying cement to hold them together.

Siobhan stopped by to check on our progress. She tested all the seams she could see. She took out a flashlight and peered into the mold cavity. She even checked the wooden structure of the box itself.

“I think you’re ready to pour,” she said at last.

The work at that point became semiskilled labor, so I joined in. Christy and Siobhan weighed out white Carrara marble dust on a big scale and carefully mixed in polyester resin and a small amount of catalyst. The other two stirred the mixture in five-gallon buckets.

The studio had a winch system to hoist containers over the molds, but it was designed for larger ones than our buckets, so it was quicker to do it by hand. I was the only one strong enough to hold them while the mixture flowed into the mold, so I got the job by default.

We started an assembly line with me at the end. I poured more than a dozen buckets of marble goop. I privately congratulated myself on the box, too. I’d only been worried about the mold material when I’d added the

support structure. But the marble slurry added hundreds of pounds to the entire system, so I was glad I’d overbuilt it in the first place.

My muscles ached by the time the marble-resin mixture finally overflowed the mold. I thought we were done, but Christy rolled over a table with a half-dozen red plastic beach pails. They were small molds.

“Fill these too, please,” she said without explanation.

“Um… sure.”

She held a funnel to the opening of the first, and I poured the mixture until it filled the small cavity. We repeated the process five more times. Then she took out a rubber mallet and tapped around the circumference of each pail.

“Air bubbles,” she explained to my curious look.

Next she took the mallet to the big mold. She whacked the plywood until her arms gave out. Punk girl took a turn, followed by the tall guy. I took my turn last and pounded away until Christy told me to stop.

“No more bubbles coming up,” she said. “That’s all we can do.”

Siobhan put an arm around her and hugged. “Now we wait.”

“And pray,” Christy added as she crossed herself.

“Oh, sure. We pray.”

Christy and I walked home in high spirits. We were bone tired and speckled with dried marble goop, but our mood couldn’t have been better.

“How long will it take to cure?” I asked.

“At least twenty-four hours. Then we’ll take the mold off, and I’ll spend every waking moment getting it ready for the show.”

“Will it really take that long?”

“I’ll be lucky if I finish in time. I want to display it in the round, but I might have to hang a backdrop and treat it like a relief.”

“You mean just clean up the front?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s no good. What can I do to help?”

“I didn’t want to ask, but…”

“Get real. I like spending time with you. And if I can be useful as well…”

“You can do rough clean-up. But I’ll have to do all the finishing work and

fix any problems.”

“Sounds like a not-date.” I draped my arm around her shoulders, and she smiled up at me tiredly.

We walked the rest of the way in happy silence.

Wren came through from the kitchen when she heard us at the front door.

“How’d it g—?” She laughed. “You look like you’ve been in a pastry dough fight.”

“Yeah,” I said, “if dough weighs several hundred pounds and dries like glue.”

She gave me an odd look. “That’s exactly what pastry dough does.”

“How was I s’posed to know?” I said with a laugh. Then I looked at Christy, whose expression had changed. “What’s the matter?”

She shook off her daydream and grinned guiltily. “All the pastry talk. I’m hungry again.”

“Then come on,” Wren said with a chuckle. “Let me whip you something up.”

“I’m going to shower while I can get some hot water,” I said.

Christy nodded and rose on tiptoes for a kiss.

“Then I need to make a phone call,” I added. I caught Wren’s eye to make sure she understood.

She nodded and put her arm around Christy. They headed toward the kitchen without a backward glance.

I thought about what I wanted to say (for the umpteenth time) while I was in the shower. Part of me felt like I had a date with an executioner, but another part was looking forward to life without guilt.

When I couldn’t stall any longer, I closed my bedroom door and picked up the phone. My pulse quickened as I dialed Gina’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey! I was just thinking about you.” Something about her tone made me pause, but I plowed ahead anyway.

“I know this is gonna sound like a weird question, but is Regan home?”

“Yeah, she is. Why?”

“Just… well… I guess I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Why? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. But… we need to talk.”

“Oh.”

That single word almost broke my heart.

“Wait a sec,” she said. “Lemme go to my room.” I heard a door close.

“Okay, now we can talk. And… I kinda knew this was coming.”

“How?”

“Your voice the other night. Your last letter. Lots of things.”

I nodded. “So… where should I begin?”

“Before you do, I need to tell you something too.”

“Go ahead,” I said, surprised.

“I… um… I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

“You have?”

“Yeah. I was gonna call you in a couple of days.”

“So it wasn’t just me?”

“No.”

“I really wanted to make it work,” I said, “but…”

“Me too. And I thought we could. When I saw you at the wedding, it was like we were back in high school and everything was perfect.”

“Exactly.”

“No Kendall, no sorority, no distractions.”

“Just us.”

“Right. But then I came home, and…”

“Real life hit. Yeah, I understand. Same here.”

“I thought we could make the long-distance thing work, but…”

“It takes ten days to have a conversation in the mail.”

“No kidding,” she said. “And neither of us called enough.”

“I was always too busy.”

“Me too. At least, that’s what I told myself.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Well, I called other people all the time, friends here,” she said. “But I never seemed to have time to call you.”

“Same here. I felt guilty about it.”

“And when I did call, I realized it was mostly because I wanted to have phone sex.”

I laughed. “I did the same thing, but with your letters. I kept hoping for something sexy about you and Heather that I could jerk off to.”

“Ha! For real?”

“Yeah. I felt really bad about that.”

“That makes two of us. I was angry after our last phone call. I mean, how

dare you be too tired to listen to me play with myself?”

“No kidding. And if it makes you feel any better, the little head thought I was an idiot. He totally wanted to have phone sex with you.”

“He always did have a mind of his own,” she said with a fond laugh.

We fell silent, since neither of us wanted to go down that path.

“I also noticed something,” she said at last.

“What?”

“Whenever we talked, it was always about the past. About Heather and prom night or movie night on the raft. Most of that was my fault—”

“Not entirely. I mean, I was half of those conversations.”

“Yeah, but I realized I was bringing up good memories, but never anything about the future. I guess it hit me when you told me you were working on a project with Christy.” She paused, and I waited for the other shoe to drop. “Tell me the truth,” she said at last. “Is she…?”

“More than a friend? Yes.”

“I thought so.”

“We aren’t technically boyfriend-girlfriend, but that hardly matters.”

“Have you had sex with her? I know I have no right to ask,” she added quickly, “but… I need to know.”

“No. We’ve kissed and fooled around, but that’s it.”

“I don’t know why that makes me happy, but it does.”

“I understand. And I’ll be honest, that was one of the reasons I didn’t want to have phone sex with you the other night.”

“I didn’t think it was only ’cause you were too tired.”

“It wasn’t. I didn’t want to cheat on her. And I didn’t want to lead you on.

I know that sounds crazy, but…”

“I get it. That’s why I wanted to know.”

“‘Cheating’ has always been emotional with us.”

“Exactly.”

“We can have sex with other people, but that’s just physical. Fidelity is emotional.”

She laughed softly. “You’re probably the only other person I know who feels that way. I never had a problem who you had sex with. Except Kendall.” Her voice turned flinty. “Don’t get me started. I still have a lot of hard feelings about her.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I get so mad sometimes I could cry.”

“Some part of me will always love Kendall,” I said quietly, “but I understand. I still don’t like her very much.”

“I know. I guess a teeny-tiny part of me will love her too. But the part that hates her guts is a lot bigger.”

“Yeah. I’m really sorry about that. I screwed up. I was thinking with my dick.”

“You were! And I used to be really mad at you for it.”

“You aren’t anymore?”

“No, not really. I was a little worried that I might be, but then I saw you at the wedding. You’d changed so much… Then you seduced me all over again, like we were sixteen under the stars at camp.”

“Those were good times,” I said.

“The best.”

“But we can’t go back.”

“We can’t go back,” she echoed.

“I realized the same thing. I kept thinking of you in terms of things we’d done before. With Christy, I…”

“Think of things you want to do,” she said, “in the future.”

“You understand.”

“Yeah, I do. I mean, I haven’t found that person yet, but I know how it is.

You and I used to have it, but…”

“Not anymore.”

“No. And we couldn’t rekindle it.”

“That’s exactly the word I used,” I said, “when I was thinking about what I wanted to say to you.”

“Are you relieved I was thinking the same thing?”

“Relieved and surprised.”

“Surprised? Why? I know you better than anyone. Although…” She chuckled to herself. “Now that I think about it, I have to admit that I’m surprised too. Surprised that you called first. I mean, I could feel you pulling away, but I thought I’d have to be the one to end it.”

“Like last time.”

“Like last time,” she agreed.

“Maybe I’m a bit more mature this time.”

“For sure.” She laughed all of a sudden. “God, I sound like a Valley Girl.”

“It’s kinda cute.”

“Thanks.”

We fell silent for a long moment.

“I do still love you,” I said at last. “I know we were both afraid to say it before, but…”

“I love you too. And yeah, I was afraid. I didn’t wanna say it and hear this long pause on the other end of the line.”

“Tell me about it! I was worried you’d start talking about the weather in LA or something.”

“No,” she said warmly, “I’d’ve said it back.”

“I wish we could’ve made it work,” I said after a moment.

“Me too.”

“Maybe if we were closer…”

“And you didn’t have Christy…”

“Yeah. I still feel really guilty about that.”

“Don’t,” she said. “I can’t compete with someone who’s right there. Just like you couldn’t compete with Brock when I was still with him. He was a real jerk in lots of ways, but he was here.” She fell silent for several heartbeats. “Do you think you really have a chance with Christy?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “She doesn’t know a thing about camp or me being a swinger or anything else. I think she may come around, but I’m not sure. She may be too normal, if that makes sense.”

“It does. And it’s one of the reasons I wanted it to work between us. I mean, I never told Brock a thing about our lifestyle. He didn’t even know I was a nudist, much less about swinging.”

“Same with me. Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes I thought of you as a sure thing. I wouldn’t have to explain anything to you.”

“Oh, I know. I thought of you the same way. You were a safe choice.”

“Christy isn’t. And I’m worried I’ll get my heart broken.”

“I know the feeling. And part of me wants to tell you I’ll always be here if it doesn’t work out, but…”

“Yeah. I can’t remember if I said it or not, but I thought it when you moved to LA”

“It wouldn’t’ve been fair to you then, and it isn’t fair to me now.”

“No.”

“I hope we can still be friends, though.”

“Me too,” I said. “And maybe if we see each other in the future…”

“And neither of us is dating someone else…”

“We might get together…”

“And rekindle the flame.”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too,” she said softly. She held the phone away from her mouth.

When she came back she said disgustedly, “I’m gonna kill Regan.”

“Low battery?” I laughed. “At least it didn’t happen at the beginning of the call.”

“No kidding.”

“I’m glad we talked, though.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”

“Me too. But I hope they do with you and Christy.”

“Thanks. And I hope you find someone.”

“I will. I think. Eventually. Maybe. If I’m lucky.”

“You will be. You’re smart, beautiful, and incredibly compassionate.”

“Try telling that to the guys around here! All they care about is the second one.”

“Then they’re idiots.”

“Crap! It’s beeping at me again.”

“Yeah, we’d better go.”

“I wanna keep in touch, though. I’ll be home for Christmas.”

“Me too. And we can still write letters.”

“We probably won’t, though.”

I started to object but realized she was right.

“I love you, Paul.”

“I love you too.”

“And I know this isn’t goodbye for good, but…”

“It’s goodbye for now.”

“Yeah. So I’ll say it first.” She paused to work up the nerve. “Goodbye, Paul.”

“Goodbye, Gina. Take care.”

“You too. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The line went dead, but I held the phone to my ear until the busy signal shook me out of it. I replaced the handset in its cradle and stared at the ceiling. I don’t know how long I lay there before someone knocked on my door. I dried my eyes with the back of my hand.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Christy said.

I sat up and wiped my eyes again.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said through the closed door, “and I heard you talking on the phone. I thought you were done, so…”

“C’mon in,” I said after a moment.

She opened the door and hesitantly stuck her head in. Her expression changed. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just a tough phone call.”

“Was it Sara?”

“No.” I looked at her steadily.

“It was Gina, wasn’t it?”

I nodded.

Her expression became unreadable, but she didn’t run away.

“Do you want to know?”

“It depends. Does it affect us? You and me?”

“Yes.” I hung on tenterhooks for a minor eternity while she thought about it.

“Tell me,” she said at last.

“Okay. But I have to warn you, it’s an R-rated story. Parts of it might be X-rated.”

“I can handle it.”

I started to ask if she was sure, but she was. Every inch of her said so.

She watched the questions play across my face. Then she came into the room and closed the door behind her.

“Are you sure you wanna talk here?” I said. “In my bedroom? We can go someplace neutral, like the living room.”

She shook her head and sat down beside me.

“Okay. Here goes…”

I told her about seeing Gina again at the wedding, and everything that happened during that weekend. I told her about the phone calls and letters. I fessed up to how I’d made it sound like I was talking to Sara when it was really Gina. I even told her about having phone sex, and how I’d avoided it the second time when it felt like cheating. Finally I told her about the last phone call and how we’d ended it.

Christy sat in silence when I finished.

Part of me felt like I’d just ended my second relationship of the night.

She finally drew a deep, uncertain breath. “And all this was going on when you and I were…?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“But you ended it with her?”

“Yes.”

“Because of me?”

“For lots of reasons,” I said. “But you were the main one.”

“And you think you still have a chance? With me?”

“I hope I still have a chance with you,” I corrected. “I probably just screwed it up by telling you the truth, but…” I shrugged. “We can’t have a relationship based on lies.”

“You didn’t screw it up,” she said after a moment. “But… I don’t know how I should feel.”

“I understand.”

“Answer one question for me.”

“Okay.”

“Why did you choose me?”

“Because Gina is my past. And I’m hers. That’s one of the things we both realized. We were trying to rekindle something, not start something new.”

“And I’m the ‘new thing’? Is that it?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way,” I said with a chuckle.

“Then how would you put it?”

I turned serious in a hurry and touched her knee until she looked at me. “I think about the future when I’m with you. I don’t think about things we’ve done and how I’d like to do them again.”

“We haven’t done anything.”

“Not sex. Other things. Like your sculpture. We created that together. If we’re lucky, it’ll outlive both of us. And my museum design. That’s you in the curve of the roof, your shape. We created it together. That’s what I mean.

“Sure, I wanna have sex with you,” I admitted. “But that’s not what I mean when I talk about the future. I’m talking about art and buildings. Things that are beautiful and made to last. Things we have in common. And if we’re lucky, maybe a life and a family.”

She suddenly blinked back tears.

“Yeah, I know,” I said, “I’m getting ahead of myself.”

“It’s okay.” She wiped her eyes. “I do the same thing.”

“Yeah, you do.” I snorted a laugh. “I still can’t believe you told your

family we were dating.”

“I wanted it to be true!” she said with a laugh of her own.

“Yeah, but do you still? That’s the question now.”

“I…” She swallowed hard and considered her answer. “I do.”

I smiled but immediately turned puckish. “I told you, not until we’re married.”

Her eyes flew wide and she lunged at me. She bowled me over and ended up on top of me.

I kissed her.

She struggled for a moment but then gave in. Her body relaxed against mine, and she sighed with pleasure. My dick decided to join the fun. She squeaked when she felt it beneath her.

“Sorry,” I said without a trace of regret. “But I told you so.”

“It’s ’cause he likes me.”

“He does. Very much. And he can’t wait to be properly introduced.”

“I can’t either.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to. So is he.”

She frowned.

“I told you, you aren’t ready yet. And to be honest, neither am I. Not after tonight.”

“I understand.”

I caressed her ass through her pajamas. “I definitely want to, though. So does he.”

“I know. I can feel it.”

“We’ll get there. Patience, okay?”

She nodded.

I kissed her again and patted her ass for good measure.

She rested her head on my chest. Finally she said, “I’d better go.”

“Yeah, I know. If you stay here much longer, my poor hard-on is gonna explode.”

“He isn’t the only one.”

I grinned and kissed her again. Then I gently pushed her away so I could sit up.

She stood and looked down at me for a change. “You’re short.”

“Yeah, when I’m sitting down and you’re standing up.” I grinned. “Then again, this puts me at a perfect level to admire your chest.”

“Yeah,” she scoffed, “what little I have.”

“Still, I can’t wait to be properly introduced.” I slid my hands up the outside of her pajama top and cupped her small breasts. I teased her nipples until they were stiff.

Eventually I released her and stood. I kissed her again. Then I turned her toward the door. I marched her down the hall to her own room, where I lifted her chin for a final kiss.

She sighed and leaned against me till it ended.

“Sweet dreams,” I said with a grin.

“Of penises.”

“And erections,” I added. “Long, hard erections. That feel good in your mouth.”

“Oh my gosh!”

“G’night, Little Bit.”

“Goodnight.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Mmm. I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”