Sisters

Chapter 24

None of them spoke to their father for the rest of the week. All of them were off work, so they had plenty of time to talk about it. No matter how they turned it around in their minds, they were outraged on their mother's behalf, hated Leslie's guts, and were furious with their father. And they got more so every day.

None of them had exciting New Year's plans, and they had decided to spend it quietly at the house. Sabrina and Chris hated going out on New Year's Eve, and Tammy didn't have a date. Candy said she had a friend coming in from L.A., and they were going to hang out at the house, and two days after Christmas Brad called Annie and asked her out for New Year's Eve, and she invited him over to the house instead. It seemed like a nice way to spend the evening, instead of going out.

On New Year's Eve, Chris and the girls cooked dinner. Brad brought several bottles of champagne. He and Chris had a good time talking before, during, and after dinner, and the biggest surprise of the evening was Candy's friend from L.A. He was probably the most famous young actor on the planet at the time, and it turned out that they had met three years before on a shoot and become good friends. He always hung out with her when he came in from L.A. There was nothing romantic between them, and he was great company. He had them laughing hysterically through most of the evening, and Brad couldn't believe the sort of people who dropped in at their house. Annie insisted she hadn't even known her sister knew him.

“Yeah, right. Who else is coming by? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?”

“Don't be silly,” she laughed at him. “I swear, most of the time, it's just us and the dogs, and Chris.”

“Okay, let's see, your sister is the biggest supermodel in the country, or maybe the world. Your other sister was one of the hottest producers in L.A., and is now the producer of the worst show in New York, we just had dinner with an actor who makes women swoon from fourteen to ninety, and I'm supposed to believe you guys are just regular people? How do you expect me to believe that?”

“Well, maybe they're not. But I am. Until six months ago, I was just a starving artist in Florence. Now I'm not even that.”

“Yes, you are,” he said gently. “You'll find other outlets for your art. That just doesn't go away. Give it a little time to surface again in a different way.” He sounded confident it would.

“Maybe,” she said, but didn't believe him. And at midnight they all toasted each other and hugged. Brad stayed and talked with them until three o'clock in the morning. Candy's actor friend spent the night on their couch, after drinking too much champagne. And Chris and Sabrina slipped away early. He asked her to come upstairs with him shortly after midnight, and the others never saw them again.

When Chris closed the door to Sabrina's bedroom, he kissed her. Privacy was hard-won in their house. He had brought with him two glasses and a bottle of champagne he'd bought himself. Sabrina smiled at him. It had been a hell of a year. So many things had happened, and whatever tragedies befell them, Chris was always there. This latest outrage with their father was just one more bump in the road. She knew she could count on Chris to be there for her, no matter what.

And as he kissed her, he took a small box out of his pocket, held her close to him, opened it with one hand, and slipped a ring on her finger. She didn't know what he was doing at first, and then she realized and looked down to see it. It was an absolutely beautiful engagement ring he had picked out on his own, and slipped out of a Tiffany box. He had been planning this for months.

“Oh my God, Chris, what are you doing?” She looked stunned.

He got down on one knee before he answered, and gazed at her solemnly from the floor. “I'm asking you to marry me, Sabrina. I love you more than anything in life. Will you marry me?” As he asked her, her eyes filled with tears. This was not what she had in mind. It was just one more shock. And she had had far too many in far too short a time. From their mother's death to Annie's blindness, the assault on Candy, and now her father marrying a girl half his age whom they had always thought of as a slut-it was just too much. She wasn't prepared to marry him. She wasn't ready. She just wanted to get through this year of taking care of Annie and living with her sisters. And maybe after that she and Chris could go back to their old life, but not get married. She didn't feel ready for that yet, and maybe never would. She loved him but felt no need to marry him. What they had now was enough for her.

She took off the ring and handed it to him with tears running down her cheeks and sorrow in her heart. “Chris, I can't. I can't even think straight right now. So much has happened in the last year. Why do we have to get married?”

“Because I'm thirty-seven, you're thirty-five, I want to have babies with you, we've been together for almost four years, and we can't wait for the rest of our lives to grow up.”

“Maybe I can,” she said sadly. “I love you, but I don't know what I want. I loved what we had before, each of us living in our own space, being together whenever we wanted. I know it's been a little crazy living with my sisters, and I love you. But I just don't feel ready to make that kind of commitment for the rest of my life. What if we screw it up? I see people in my office every day, just like us, who thought they were doing the right thing, got married, had kids, and then everything went wrong.”

“That's the kind of chance we all take,” he said, looking anguished. “There are never any guarantees in life. You know that. You just have to take a deep breath, jump into the pool, and do your best.”

“What if we drown?” she said miserably.

“What if we don't? But one thing I do know. I don't want to go on like this. Life is starting to pass us by. If we wait long enough, we'll be too old to have kids, or you will. And we'll never have a real life. I want that with you now.” His eyes were pleading with her, and his heart sank as she shook her head.

“I don't. I can't.” She looked panicked. “I won't. I'd be lying to you if I said I was sure.”

“You don't have to be sure,” he tried to reason with her. “We just have to love each other, Sabrina. That's enough.”

“Not for me.”

“What the hell do you want?” he said, starting to get angry.

“I want a guarantee that it's right.”

“There are none.”

“That's my point. I'm too scared to take the chance.” He was still holding the ring, and then he slipped it back into the box and snapped it shut again.

“I love you. But I'm not sure I'm ever going to want to get married,” Sabrina admitted to him. She couldn't lie to him. She just didn't know, and she didn't feel ready to be engaged, no matter how much she loved him.

“I guess that's my answer,” he said, but he wasn't sorry that he'd asked her. Sooner or later he had to know. He turned as he stood in the doorway. “You know, I think your father is a fool to do what he's doing, especially so soon after your mother died, and with a woman younger than you. But however stupid it may seem to us, at least you've got to respect the guy for having the balls to take a chance.”

Sabrina nodded. She hadn't thought of it that way, and she was furious at him. But Chris had a point. Her father still had enough life in him to take a chance. “I guess the bottom line is, I don't have the balls.”

“No, you don't,” he said, then walked out of her bedroom, closed the door, walked down the stairs, and out the front door. Instead of getting engaged, as he had hoped they would, they had broken up. It was not the New Year's Eve he had wanted or planned. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, and her reaction to it had pushed him right over the edge. And in her room, Sabrina sat on her bed and sobbed.

The others didn't hear about it until the next morning, and when Sabrina told them, they were shocked.

“I thought you two were upstairs all night, like lovebirds,” Tammy said with a look of amazement.

“No, he was gone before one o'clock. I gave him the ring back and he left.” She looked heartbroken as she sat at the kitchen table with her sisters, but she knew she had done the right thing. She didn't want to get married, even to Chris. For her, what they had now was enough. More would be too much.

They were all depressed about it when they heard what had happened, but no one as much as Sabrina. She really did love him, but she just didn't want to get married, and those things couldn't be forced, even with a lovely ring, and a great guy.

Between her breaking up with Chris, and their fury over their father getting married, January was a gloomy month on East Eighty-fourth Street. Chris never called her again, and Sabrina didn't call him. There was no point. She had nothing new to say. And he was still too upset to call her. He was devastated by her refusing his proposal. And he didn't want to resume the same relationship they'd had for years. He wanted more. She didn't. And suddenly there was nothing left to say, nowhere to go, but gone.

All of them were in the doldrums for the first few weeks of January, and then slowly things began to pick up. Annie had dinner with Brad several times. They always had a nice time. He had talked her into taking the sculpture class, and she was actually enjoying it. And even without being able to see what she was doing, her work was surprisingly good. He told her about a lecture series he was trying to organize, centered on cultural things, theater, music, and art. He asked her if she'd consider giving a lecture on the Uffizi, and she was excited about it. She typed the entire lecture out in braille. She gave her first talk at the end of January, and it was a big success.

Candy left for Paris in the third week of January, to do the couture shows. She was going to be Karl Lagerfeld's bride for Chanel. They paid her an enormous fee to be exclusive only to them, and she had a ball staying at the Ritz. And on the plane coming back from Paris, she met a man. He was working as a photographer's assistant, as part of a graduate program he was in at Brown. He was twenty-four years old, and they laughed all the way from Paris to New York. His name was Paul Smith. He was getting his master's in photography in June. He was planning to open his own photography studio after that. He said he had worked on a shoot with her in Rome two years before, but he had been a lowly intern then, and they had never met.

She told him about Annie, and losing her mother in July, and then she told him that her father was getting married in two weeks, to a girl who was thirty-three years old.

“Wow, that's heavy,” he said, looking sympathetic. His parents had gotten divorced when he was ten, and both of them were remarried. But he said his stepparents were cool. “How do you feel about that?” he asked about her father's remarriage.

“Actually, like shit,” she said honestly.

“Have you met her?” he asked with interest.

“Not really, not since I was a kid. My sisters always called her ‘the slut.’ She tried to steal my sister's boyfriend when she was fifteen.”

“Maybe you should give her a chance,” he said cautiously.

“Maybe. It just seems way too soon for him to get married.”

“People do stupid things when they're in love,” he said sensibly, and then they got off the subject onto other things. He was from Maine and loved to sail, and told her about his racing adventures.

They shared a cab into the city, and when he dropped her off at her house, he told her he'd give her a call the next time he was in town. He was going back to Brown the next day, which was in Rhode Island. He was going to be there until graduation in June. It was nice for Candy to be with someone her own age for a change, engaged in wholesome pursuits, going to college, and doing things appropriate for their age.

When Candy walked back into the house, everyone was out. Sabrina was working even longer hours now that she was no longer seeing Chris. Tammy was going crazy with her show, as always. And Annie seemed to be taking more classes than ever at school, and seeing a lot of Brad on weekends. It was a relief when Paul invited Candy to visit him at Brown two weeks later. He was having a show of his photographic work. It was a great weekend for both of them, and she loved meeting his friends. They were startled when they realized who she was, but for once everyone treated her like just another kid. It was more fun than she had had in years, better than the party scene in New York.

Tammy was having meetings with the network again when she ran into the man she'd met right before the holidays, the one who was going to St. Bart's with his family, and never called her when he got back. She hadn't thought he would, so she hadn't been disappointed. He introduced himself to her again after the network meetings. He said his name was John Sperry, and said he was sorry he hadn't called her.

“I've been out with the flu for two weeks,” he said when he saw her. It was a lame excuse, but as good as any other. Tammy looked at him and smiled. If he'd been a freak, he would have called. “You think I'm lying, don't you? I swear, I've been sick as a dog. I nearly had pneumonia.”

She almost laughed at him. She'd heard it all before. “I lost your number. That always works for me too.” Although he could have called her at the show.

“I didn't have your number,” he reminded her, looking embarrassed. “But come to think of it, why don't you give it to me now?” She felt silly giving it to him. She didn't have time to go out with him anyway. They were having a million problems on the show. Their host's contract was up and he wanted double the money. He'd been shot once and assaulted twice. He felt he deserved combat pay for being on the show, and he wasn't wrong. The trouble was the audience loved him, which gave him a choke hold on them now. She had been discussing the problem with Irving Solomon and the network people all morning. Tammy was tempted to let him go, but she was afraid their ratings would show it, and the sponsors wouldn't like it.

She went back to her office and forgot about John Sperry again. Something crossed her desk about a special Valentine's show, and when she saw it, she thought of her father. He was getting married on Valentine's Day, and none of them had spoken to him since the day after Christmas when he told them. She wasn't sure what to do. They couldn't ignore him forever, but she wasn't ready to deal with Leslie and his marriage yet either. None of them was.

She brought it up that night at dinner at the house. She threw the question out to her sisters. “What are we going to do about Dad?” He hadn't called them either. He was obviously hurt by their reaction, and they were horrified by what he was doing. They all felt he was betraying their mother. It had been five weeks since any of them had spoken to him, which had never happened before.

“Maybe one of us should call him,” Sabrina suggested, but no one volunteered.

“I don't want to go to the wedding,” Candy said quickly.

“None of us do,” Tammy said with a sigh. “How could we? It would be such a disrespect to Mom.”

“But he is our dad,” Candy said hesitantly.

“Why don't we take him to lunch and talk, or invite him here?” Annie said softly. She had been thinking about it for weeks too. And the fact was they all missed him. They just didn't want Leslie in their lives, at least not yet, and maybe never, depending on how she behaved. None of them was ready to include her in their family. It was a terrible dilemma, but they didn't want to lose their father either.

“Do you realize they might have a baby?” Sabrina mentioned, and Tammy groaned audibly.

“Please. You're making me sick,” Tammy said miserably.

In the end, after hours of discussion, they decided to invite him to the house for a drink. It was less stressful than sitting through a meal in a restaurant, with strangers all around them. As the oldest, they appointed Sabrina to call him. She was hesitant and nervous when she called the house in Connecticut. What if Leslie answered?

He answered on the second ring, and he sounded so thrilled to hear her, that she felt sorry for him. He obviously didn't want to lose them either. And he agreed to come to the city the next day. He never mentioned Leslie once. For a brief moment, Sabrina hoped he had changed his mind. But she knew that if he had, he would have called.

They all came home early from work to meet with him. And they noticed that he looked nervous when he arrived. They walked into the living room as a group and sat down.

“We assume you're still getting married on Valentine's Day,” Tammy began, with hope in her eyes that was quickly dashed.

“Yes, I am. We're actually flying to Las Vegas to do it, which sounds a little silly. But I knew none of you would want to be there, and it's too soon to make a big fuss.”

“It's too soon to be getting married,” Tammy said, and her father looked her in the eye.

“You're not going to talk me out of it, if that's what you asked me here for. I know it seems early to you, but at my age, you don't have a lot of time. There's no reason for us to wait.”

“You could have waited for us,” Sabrina pointed out to him, “and for Mom.”

“Would six months make that much difference to you?” he asked them. “Would you really be happier about Leslie then? I don't think you would. And this is our life, not yours. I don't interfere with what you do. I don't tell Sabrina that she should be married, that Chris is a great guy, and she should be doing something about it, if she wants kids. I don't tell Tammy that she should stop working on all these crazy shows and find a decent guy. Or Candy that she needs to go back to school. Or Annie that she needs to find a job even if she's blind. Your mother and I always respected you. We didn't always agree with what you did, but we gave you room to make your own mistakes and decisions. Now you need to give me the space to make mine. Maybe what I'm doing really is insane. Maybe Leslie will walk out on me in six months and find a younger guy, or maybe we'll be happy for the rest of our lives, and she'll treat me well in my old age. But I need to find out. This is what I want. It's not what you want, for yourselves or for me, but it's what I want to do, and what I think I need. She's a good woman and we love each other. And whatever I do, or don't do, no matter what, your mother isn't coming back. And she was the love of my life. But she's gone, and the truth is, I don't want to be alone. I can't. I'm too unhappy by myself. And Leslie is good company. We love each other, although differently than I loved your mother. But why shouldn't I have a second chance?” They listened to him without interrupting him, and some of what he said made sense. Collectively they took a breath, and without saying anything, Candy put her arms around him and hugged him. She was thinking about what Paul had said on the plane, about giving Leslie another chance. Time would tell. For her father's sake, she hoped Leslie was a decent woman, whether they liked her or not. It was just too soon for them.

“We love you, Dad,” Tammy said. “We just don't want you to make a mistake, or get hurt.”

“Why not? You do. We all do. Mistakes are part of life. If it's a big mistake, I'll call Sabrina and do something about it.” He and his oldest daughter exchanged a smile.

“I hope it works out for you, Dad,” she said softly. It was so nice to see him again. They had all missed him so much.

“So do I. All I can do is try. And I'm sorry you're all upset. I know this is hard for you. It's a big change for me too.” And it was so much too soon for them.

“Do we have to see her, Dad?” Annie was the one who asked. None of them wanted to see her, but they assumed that he'd expect them to. He was more reasonable than they thought. He was still the father that they all loved so much.

“Let's go easy for a while,” he said sensibly. “Let's get us back on track first. I thought I was never going to hear from any of you again.” He had been sick over it for a month.

“We missed you a lot,” Candy said.

“I missed you too,” he admitted, as Sabrina opened a bottle of wine. They each had a drink with him, they all hugged each other and promised to get together again soon. And a short while later, he left. The meeting had gone better than any of them had hoped. He was marrying her, but at least he and his children were talking again, and he wasn't expecting them to embrace her with open arms, or even see her for a while. He was hoping they'd get used to the idea in time. And he had told them that there would be no Fourth of July party this year. It would be too hard for all of them, and now it was the anniversary of their mother's death, not just a party. He said that he and Leslie were going to Europe in July, and they were free to make other plans. It was a relief for all of them. None of them could have faced that party ever again, and even less with Leslie around.

“What are we going to do for the Fourth of July?” Candy asked.

“Let's not worry about that now,” Sabrina said wisely. At least they were speaking to their father again. And they collectively agreed to send them flowers and champagne in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day. It was a gesture of truce that they knew would please him. There was no question though, it was more than odd to realize that they would now have a stepmother younger than their oldest sister. This was not what any of them expected when their mother died. But then again, neither had their father. Leslie had just dropped by, and love had happened.

They were still talking about it when Tammy's cell phone rang. She couldn't imagine who it was at that hour. It was John Sperry asking her to lunch the next day. She was stunned to hear him.

“I can't believe you called me,” she said, sounding amazed.

“I told you I would. Why do you seem so surprised?” She wanted to answer, “Because normal guys never call me. I'm a magnet for freaks and weirdos.” Maybe he was, and only appeared to be normal. Who could tell anymore? She wasn't sure she'd know a regular guy if he bit her on the nose.

“I don't know why I'm surprised. I guess because most people don't do what they say. How was St. Bart's, by the way?”

“Fun. I go there with my family every Christmas. I have three brothers, and they all bring their wives and kids.”

“I have three sisters,” she said, smiling. The picture he painted of his family was appealing, and similar to hers, except that none of her sisters was married and had kids.

“I know. You said you quit your job to come here and take care of your sister. I was impressed by that.” Very impressed, in fact. “What happened to her?” Tammy had walked out of the living room with her cell phone to talk to him.

“It's a long story, but she's doing really well.” As she said it, she suddenly realized they were halfway through their lease, and she felt sad. She loved living with them. Maybe when their current lease expired, they'd find another house. None of them seemed to be going anywhere. Maybe they would live together forever. Four spinsters in a house. The only one finding true love these days was their father. And Annie seemed to be doing well with Brad. And she liked the boy Candy had met on the plane. Her love life and Sabrina's were in the tank. Her own had been for years. She had a reality show instead.

“You said your sister had an accident. What happened?” He seemed to be interested. Maybe he was only curious, but talking to him was pleasant. He seemed like a nice guy. He was intelligent, good looking, and had a relatively important job.

“She lost her sight. It was very dramatic for her. She's an artist, or was. She's doing special training at the Parker School for the Blind.”

“How strange,” John said, sounding pensive. “One of my brothers is deaf, and we all sign. He was born that way. It must be a huge adjustment for her to lose her sight.”

“It is. She's been amazing. And very brave.”

“Does she use a guide dog?” he asked with interest.

“No.” Tammy smiled. “She hates dogs. We have three here, the rest of us all have one each, but they're little, or two of them are. My older sister has a basset named Beulah. She suffers from chronic depression.” He laughed at the vision.

“Maybe she needs a shrink,” he said, joking with her.

“We have several of those too.”

“That reminds me. Now tell me the truth about Désirée Lafayette. Did she used to be a guy?” Tammy laughed out loud.

“I've always wondered that myself.”

“She sounds like a stripper.”

“She'd probably love that. She wants me to get her a wardrobe, designed specially for her by Oscar de la Renta. I haven't had the guts to ask him yet. Or the budget.”

“I'm sure it could be arranged.”

“I hope not.”

They laughed about the show for a few minutes, and he repeated his invitation for lunch. He suggested a restaurant that she liked. It sounded appealing, and it was nice to get out of the office for a change. She didn't do it often, she was usually too busy putting out fires to stop and eat. They made a date for one o'clock the next day.

The others asked her who it was when she hung up and came back into the room.

“Someone from the network I keep running into at meetings. He invited me to lunch,” she said noncommittally.

“That sounds like fun,” Sabrina said with a sad smile. She hadn't gone out since she and Chris broke up a month before. All she did was work and come straight home. She didn't have the heart to do anything else. All she'd done was think about him since he left. She missed him horribly. And she hadn't heard a word from him. She kept thinking about the beautiful ring. And the proposal that had terrified her. She wasn't as brave as her dad. Or as foolish. She didn't see how his marriage to Leslie could ever work. But she wished him well. Even though she thought the way he had gone about it was a huge disrespect to their mom. But she loved him nonetheless, and she was relieved that they had talked. At least the lines of communication were open again. That was something at least. But like the others, she was worried about how his marriage to Leslie would impact them, and their relationship with their dad.

Tammy met John Sperry for lunch the next day. He was intelligent, interesting, and she liked him. He had a million projects in the works, lots of interests, played a lot of sports, loved the theater, was ambitious about his job. He was extremely close to his family, and thirty-four years old. It appeared to both of them by the end of lunch that they had a lot in common.

“So what do we do next?” he asked her as they left the restaurant. “Dinner or another lunch?” Then he had a different idea. “How about tennis at my club on Saturday morning?”

“I'm a lousy player,” she warned. But it sounded like fun.

“So am I,” he admitted. “But I enjoy it anyway. We can have lunch at the club afterward, or somewhere else, if you have time.” He was starting slow, and she liked that too. She didn't like men who took her out to dinner once and tried to rush her into bed. And she would be perfectly content if they just wound up friends. She didn't have many friends in New York. All of her friends were in L.A., and she never had time to see them anyway.

She was in good spirits when she went back to the office and he called her the next day just to say hello. He sent her an interoffice memo with a joke in it, and she laughed out loud at her desk. He was a nice addition to her life. Not a bolt of lightning, which she didn't want. It was more like a quiet entrance of someone solid into the room. She felt his presence, but it didn't shake her up or unnerve her, which felt much more comfortable to her. And he wasn't on any unusual diets, and didn't belong to any cults. That in itself was a marvel.

She said very little about him to her sisters. Their contact didn't warrant it yet. She came home happy and relaxed on Saturday, tired after a game of tennis, which he had won easily. He played much better than he said, but she had held her own. And afterward they'd had lunch and gone for a walk in the park. It was still cold, but not too much to enjoy a walk. She ran into Brad and Annie on their way out as she got home. Brad was taking her to some sort of tactile conceptual art exhibit he had read about that he thought she'd enjoy, and they were chatting animatedly. He wanted her to do another lecture at the school. He thought she should do a museum series, or one about the art in each city in Italy she had visited. Her memory was excellent, and there was much she could share with her fellow students.

“Where've you been?” Annie asked her. She looked happy with Brad, and Tammy was pleased to see it. Candy was at Brown for the weekend again, visiting Paul. It was the second weekend in a row.

“I played tennis with a friend,” Tammy said easily. “Is Sabrina home?”

“She's upstairs. I think she's getting sick. She sounds awful.”

Tammy nodded. Sabrina had looked sick since New Year's Eve.

“Have a good time, you two. See you later.”

“We won't be back till late. We're having dinner after the exhibit.”

“Good. Have fun.” Tammy was smiling to herself as she walked into the house. Annie looked so radiant with Brad, and they looked so comfortable together. Everything about it seemed right. She was happy Sabrina had won the bet.

She walked upstairs to check on Sabrina, and found her lying on her bed in the dark. She suspected she wasn't sick, but depressed. Tammy hated to see things end with Chris. He was such a good man, and had been so good to Sabrina for so long. It was a shame she had such an aversion to marriage. If ever she had been inclined to get married, Chris would have been the right man. But apparently she just couldn't. Sabrina seemed to prefer losing him to marrying him.

“How're you doing?” she asked Sabrina gently, and her older sister shrugged. She looked pale and tired and worn out, with dark circles under her eyes. The breakup hadn't been a liberation, as some were. It had been a major loss, and still was. She had been mourning him for a month.

“Not so great,” Sabrina said, and rolled over to look up at the ceiling. “Maybe Dad is right. Maybe you have to take chances in life, and risks. But I just can't see myself married to anyone, ever. Or having kids. It's so much goddamn responsibility, and way too scary.”

“You take care of all of us,” Tammy reminded her. “You mother all three of us, especially Annie and Candy. What's the difference if it's your sisters or your kids?”

“I can tell you guys to take a hike.” She smiled ruefully. “You can't do that to your kids. And if you screw it up, you fuck them up for life. I see it all the time at work.”

“You should have been a wedding planner instead of a divorce lawyer. It would have been better for your future.” Sabrina smiled in answer.

“Yeah. Maybe so. Chris must absolutely hate me. He was so sweet with the ring that night, but I just couldn't do it. Not even for him. And God knows I love the man. I wouldn't mind living with him at some point. I just don't want the paperwork. It's too big a mess to undo it if you have to. This way, if you want out, you say goodbye and that's it. You don't need a buzz saw to pull your lives apart.”

“And you're the buzz saw?” Tammy asked her.

“That's my job,” she confirmed. It was how she saw it. “I chew right through everything you've got, your heart, your head, your wallet, your kids. Saw the little suckers in half and give half to each parent, fair and square. Christ, who'd ever want to go through that?”

“Lots of people do.” Tammy wasn't as worried about it as Sabrina, but it concerned her too. “That reminds me. I didn't want to say anything to him, but I hope to hell Dad gets a pre-nup.”

“He can't be that stupid,” Sabrina said, sitting up finally. She had been lying there for hours, thinking about Chris. “I'll send him an e-mail and remind him. It's none of my business, but someone has to tell him, or should.”

“See what I mean? You take care of all of us, Sabrina. Why not do it for your own kids, instead of a bunch of adults? It might be more fun with kids.”

“Maybe so.” She smiled, but didn't look convinced.

She went downstairs to get something to eat, and offered to get Tammy something too. Candy called in a little while later, to let them know she was okay. After the terrifying incident with Marcello, she checked in constantly now, and always told them where she was. She never went to anyone's apartment, and even in Rhode Island, visiting Paul, she was staying at a hotel, and Sabrina didn't think they had slept with each other yet. She was being extremely cautious, and Paul didn't seem to mind, which said good things about him. And he was young and wholesome. He wasn't some sleazy player looking to hit on young girls. The one who was considerably older, for Annie, was Brad. But somehow the age difference between them didn't seem to matter. Annie was mature for her age, especially now. And Brad was so protective of her, which was a comfort to both of her older sisters, and even to Candy. They all approved of Brad and Annie's romance.

Sabrina and Tammy spent a quiet night together, watching movies, doing the Times crossword puzzle together, and relaxing after their hectic weeks. John called Tammy on Sunday, and just chatted with her for a while. And Tammy bathed all the dogs on Sunday night. Annie was out with Brad again. They were having dinner with friends.

“We lead an exotic life, don't we?” Tammy commented, as she dried one of the dogs, and Sabrina came by with a load of clean towels. They smiled at each other, and were happy to see Candy when she got home.

“How was it?” Tammy asked her, as she set down her bag.

“Great. We spent time with all his friends.” She was full of the excitement of the weekend, and seemed to be enjoying being with people her own age.

All four girls were home that night eventually. Their bedroom doors were open, and they called out their goodnights to each other. And each one lay in bed, smiling, thinking how lucky they were to have each other, no matter what happened with the men in their lives.