Sisters

Chapter 4

Sabrina left her office at six o'clock. She had meant to leave earlier, but there were documents she had to proofread and sign. Nothing was going to get done over the holiday weekend, but she was taking an extra day off and her secretary had to file the papers with the court when she got back to the office on Tuesday. Sabrina never liked leaving loose ends. She was a family law attorney in one of the busiest practices in New York. Mostly, she handled prenuptial agreements and divorces and tough custody cases. What she had seen in her eight years as an attorney had convinced her that she never wanted to get married, although she was crazy about her boyfriend and he was a good man. Chris was an attorney in a rival firm. His specialty was antitrust law, and he got involved in class-action suits that went on for years. He was solid, kind, and loving, and they had been dating for three years.

Sabrina was thirty-four years old. She and Chris didn't live together, but they spent the night with each other, at his apartment or hers, three or four times a week. Her parents had finally stopped asking her if and when they were getting married. The arrangement they had worked for them. Chris was as solid as a rock. Sabrina knew she could count on him, and they loved the time they spent together. They enjoyed the theater, symphony, ballet, hiking, walking, playing tennis, and just being together on weekends. By now most of their friends were married and were even having second kids. Sabrina wasn't ready to think about it yet and didn't want to. They had both been made partners in their law firms. He was almost thirty-seven, and made noises occasionally about wanting children, and Sabrina didn't disagree with him. She wanted kids one day maybe, but not now. Although at thirty-four she was among the last of her friends still holding out. She felt that what she and Chris shared was almost as good as being married, without the headaches, the risk of divorce, and the pain she saw in her practice every day. She never wanted to be like one of her clients, hating the man she had married, and bitterly disappointed by how things had turned out. She loved Chris, and their life, just as it was.

He was coming to her parents' party the next day and would spend the night at the house in Connecticut. He knew how important these weekends with her family were to her. And he liked all of her sisters and her parents. There was nothing about Sabrina he didn't like, except maybe her aversion to marriage. He couldn't really understand it, since her parents were obviously happily married. He knew the nature of her law practice had put her off. At first, he had thought they'd be married in a couple of years. Now they had settled into a comfortable routine. Their apartments were only a few blocks apart, and they went back and forth with ease. He had a key to her apartment, and she had the key to his. When she worked late, she called him, and he went by her place and picked up her dog. Beulah, her basset hound, was their substitute child. He had given her the dog for Christmas three years before, and Sabrina adored her. She was a black and white harlequin basset, with the mournful look of her breed and a personality to match. When Beulah didn't get enough attention, she got severely depressed, and it took days to cajole her out of it. She slept at the foot of their bed, although she was a sixty-pound dog. But Chris couldn't complain since he had given her the dog. The gift had been a huge success at the time and ever since.

Sabrina left her office and went home to pick her up, and found Beulah sitting in her favorite chair next to the fireplace in Sabrina's living room with an insulted look. It was obvious that she knew her mistress was late to pick her up, walk her, and feed her.

“Come on,” Sabrina said to her as she walked in, “don't be such a sourpuss. I had to finish my work. And I can't give you dinner before we go, or you'll get sick in the car.” Beulah got carsick, and hated long rides. It was going to take at least two hours to get to Connecticut, Sabrina knew, or more in the holiday weekend traffic. It was going to be a long, slow ride. And Beulah hated missing meals. She was on the heavy side, from lack of exercise. Chris took her on runs in the park on weekends, but lately they'd both been busy. He was working on a huge case, and Sabrina was currently handling six major divorces, at least three of which were going to trial. She had a heavy workload, and was very much in demand as a divorce attorney among the elite of New York.

Sabrina handed Beulah a dog cookie, which the portly basset turned her nose up at and refused to eat. She was punishing Sabrina, which she did often. It only made Sabrina smile. Chris was better at getting the dog out of her dark moods, he had a lot more patience with her. And Sabrina was anxious to get on the road. She had packed the night before, and all she had to do was change out of her work clothes, a dark gray linen suit she had worn for a court appearance that morning, with a gray silk T-shirt, a string of pearls, and high-heeled shoes. She changed into jeans and a cotton T-shirt and sandals for the drive to Connecticut. She was anxious to get there, and knew it would be close to ten o'clock by the time she arrived. Her sisters Candy and Annie would already be there.

She knew that Tammy wouldn't get to the house until around two o'clock in the morning. Her plane was arriving at eleven-thirty that night, and after that she had to drive from JFK to Connecticut. Sabrina could hardly wait for all of them to be together. As far as Sabrina was concerned, they didn't see enough of each other. She and Chris had gone to California to visit Tammy two years before, but they hadn't been able to since, although they kept promising to make time to go out there again. They had had a great time with Tammy, although she was constantly working. The two oldest sisters in the group definitely had the strongest work ethic and Chris accused them both of being workaholics. He was much better about leaving the office at reasonable hours, and refusing to work on weekends. Sabrina always had her overstuffed briefcase near at hand, with things she had to read, or prepare for a case. Chris was a good lawyer too, but he had a more relaxed attitude about life, which made them a good combination. He made her loosen up a little, and she kept him on track, and didn't let him procrastinate, which he had a tendency to do. Sabrina sometimes nagged him, but he was a good sport about it.

She wished Tammy would find a man like him, but there were none in her world. Sabrina hadn't liked a single man that Tammy had gone out with in the past ten years. She was a magnet for self-centered, difficult men. Sabrina had chosen someone like their father, easygoing, kind, good-natured, and loving. It was hard not to love Chris, and they all did. He even looked a little like her father, which the others had teased her about when they first met him. Now they all loved him as she did. She just didn't want to be married to him, or anyone else. She was afraid it would screw things up, as she had seen so often. So many times couples told her that everything had been great while they were living together, sometimes for years and years, and then it all fell apart when they got married. One or both of them turned into monsters. She wasn't afraid that Chris would do that, or even that she would, but why take the chance? Things were so perfect as they were.

Beulah looked at Sabrina miserably as she set her suitcase down next to the front door. She thought she was being left behind.

“Don't look like that, silly. You're coming with me.” As she said it, she picked up the dog's leash, and Beulah bounded out of the chair, wagging her tail, finally looking happy. “See, things aren't so bad after all, are they?” She clipped the leash on, turned off the lights, picked up her bag, and she and Beulah walked out the door.

Her car was in a nearby garage. She never used it in the city, only when she went out of town. It was a short walk to the garage. She put her bag in the trunk, and Beulah sat majestically in the front passenger seat and looked out the window with interest. Sabrina was relieved that her parents were good sports about their daughters' dogs. They had had cocker spaniels when they were children, but her parents hadn't had dogs now for years. They referred to the three visiting dogs as their “grand dogs” since her mother said she was beginning to think they would never have grandchildren. It looked that way so far.

Sabrina always assumed that one of the younger girls would get married first, probably Annie. Candy was still too young, and her head was all over the place about men. She was always meeting the wrong ones, drawn to her for her looks and celebrity alone. Tammy seemed to have given up dating in the last two years, and never seemed to meet decent men in the crazy business she was in. And she and Chris weren't going anywhere, they were happy as they were. Annie was the only one who seemed even remotely likely to get married. And as she drove out of the garage, Sabrina found herself wondering how serious this new boyfriend of Annie's was. She sounded pretty keen on him, and said he was terrific. Maybe not terrific enough to marry. She had said vaguely to Sabrina that he was moving back to New York at the end of the year. Sabrina figured it was probably the only thing that might get her to leave Florence. She loved it so much there, which worried Sabrina too. What if she never moved back from Europe? It was even harder to get to Florence than it was to get to L.A. to see Tammy. She hated the fact that they were all so spread out now. She really missed them. She saw Candy now and then when they both had time. Sabrina made a point of meeting her for lunch or dinner, or even coffee, but she hardly saw the other two and seriously missed them. Sometimes she thought she felt it more than the others. Her bond to her sisters and sense of family was strong, stronger than her bond to anyone else, even Chris, much as she loved him.

She called him from her car phone once she got on the highway. He had just come home from playing squash with a friend and said he was exhausted, but happy he had won.

“What time are you coming out tomorrow?” she asked. She already missed him. She always missed him on the nights they didn't spend together, but it made the nights they did spend with each other even sweeter.

“I'll get there in the afternoon, before the party. I thought I'd give you some time alone with your sisters. I know how you girls are. Shoes, hair, boyfriends, dresses, work, fashion. You have a lot to talk about.” He was teasing her, but he wasn't far off the mark. They were still like a bunch of teenagers when they got together, they laughed and talked and giggled, usually late into the night. The only difference now from when they were young was that they smoked and drank while they did it, and they were a lot kinder about their parents than they had been as kids. Now they realized how lucky they were to have them, and how great they were.

As teenagers, she and Tammy had given their mom a tough time. Candy and Annie had been easier, and had enjoyed the freedoms that Tammy and Sabrina had fought for earlier-and that in some cases had been hard-won. Sabrina always said that they had worn their mother down, but she had held a hard line at times. Sabrina knew it couldn't have been easy to raise four girls. Their mom had done a great job, and so had their dad. However, he often left a lot of the difficult decisions to their mother and often deferred to her, which always made Sabrina mad at him. She had wanted his support, and he refused to get in the middle of their battles. He wasn't a fighter, he was a lover. And their mother had been more outspoken and more willing to be unpopular with her daughters, if she was convinced she was right. Sabrina thought she had been very brave, and respected her a great deal. She hoped she'd be as good a mother herself one day, if she was ever brave enough to have kids of her own. She hadn't decided yet-it was another one of those decisions she had decided to put off for now, like marriage. At thirty-four, she hadn't found her biological clock yet. She was in no hurry.

Tammy was the one who was nervous about missing out on having kids, if she didn't find the right guy. At Christmas, she had admitted that she would go to a sperm bank one day if she had to. She didn't want to miss the chance to have children, just because she never found a man she wanted to marry. But it was still early days for that, and her sisters had urged Tammy not to panic, or she'd end up with the wrong man again. She had done that often, and now seemed to have given up entirely. She said the men she met were all too crazy, and Sabrina didn't disagree, from what she'd seen of them over the years. She thought all of Tammy's men were creeps.

Fortunately, there was nothing crazy or creepy about Chris. They all agreed on that. If anything, Sabrina was a lot crazier than he was, at least in her reluctance about marriage. She didn't want a husband or baby yet, just him the way things were, for now, and maybe even forever. She didn't want anything to change between them.

“What are you doing tonight?” she asked Chris on the phone as she sat in traffic. It was going to take forever to get there at this rate, but it was nice chatting with him. It always was. They rarely had arguments, and when they did, they blew over quickly. He was like her father that way too. Her father hated arguments of any kind, particularly with his wife or even his daughters. He was the easiest man on the planet to get along with, and so was Chris.

“I thought I'd cook myself some dinner, watch the game on TV, and go to bed. I'm beat.” She knew how hard he'd been working on an oil company case. It was about environmental pollution, and the case would go on for years. He was lead counsel on the case, and had gotten a lot of publicity for it. She was very proud of him. “How's Beulah doing?”

Sabrina glanced at her in the passenger seat and smiled.

“She's falling asleep. She was pissed at me when I got home. I was late. You're a lot nicer about that than she is.”

“She'll forgive you when she gets to play in the grass and chase rabbits.” She was a hunter in her soul, although she was a city dog, and the only thing she ever got to chase was pigeons in the park when Chris took her for a run. “I'll give her some exercise tomorrow when I come out.”

“She needs it. She's getting fat,” Sabrina responded. As she said it, Beulah jerked awake as the car lurched forward, and glared at her, as though she had heard what she'd said and was insulted again. “Sorry, Beulie, I didn't mean that the way it sounded.” The dog curled up on the seat then, with a loud snort and went to sleep. Sabrina really loved her and enjoyed her company. “I hope Juanita doesn't attack her again,” Sabrina said to Chris. “She scared the hell out of Beulah last time.”

“That's embarrassing. How can Beulah be afraid of a three-pound dog?”

“Juanita thinks she's a Great Dane. She always attacks other dogs.”

“I eat tacos bigger than she is. She's ridiculous, she looks like a bat.” He smiled, thinking of the three dogs in their family, each one sillier than the other. Candy's Yorkie was a little princess, and always wore bows in her hair, which the chihuahua ripped out whenever she got the chance. She was a three-pound attack dog.

“Don't say that,” Sabrina warned him. “Tammy thinks she's gorgeous.”

“I guess love is blind, even about dogs. At least your sister Annie is sane.”

“She's always hated dogs. She thinks they're a nuisance. She shaved my mother's cocker spaniel once. Mom put her on restriction for three weeks. Annie said the dog looked too hot with all that hair in the middle of summer. The poor dog looked totally pathetic.” They both laughed at the image, and as traffic picked up again, Sabrina said she'd better hang up. He told her he loved her, and would see her the next day at her parents'.

Sabrina thought about him as she drove, and felt lucky to have met him. It wasn't easy to meet good men, and one as nice as Chris was rare. She was well aware of it, and deeply grateful that they were so happy with each other. It just got better from year to year, which was why her mother couldn't understand her lack of interest in getting married. It was just the way Sabrina was, and she always said it wasn't due to any failing on Chris's part. He was more than willing to get married, but patient with the fact that she wasn't. He never pushed, and accepted her as she was, phobias and all.

The drive to Connecticut was long and slow that night. She called home to apologize for the delay, and her mother told her that both Annie and Candy had arrived, and were sitting by the pool. She said they both looked terrific, although Candy hadn't gained any weight, but at least she was no thinner. And Annie was telling them about Charlie. Their mother said it sounded serious to her, which made Sabrina smile.

“I'll be there as soon as I can, Mom. I'm sorry to be so late.”

“I figured you would be, sweetheart. Don't worry about it. I know it's hard for you to get out of the office. How's Chris?”

“He's fine. He'll be out tomorrow afternoon. He wanted to give us some girl time. He's always nice about that.”

“Yes, he is,” her mother agreed. “Drive safely, Sabrina. Don't rush. We'll be up late anyway. Tammy won't be in till after two. She had to work today too. Both of you work too hard, but with good results, I have to admit. I'm not sure where you two get your work ethic. I don't think your dad or I ever worked as hard as you two.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Their mother was always generous with praise. She was proud of all four of her girls, and in their own way, each of them was doing well. More important, all four of them were happy, and had found their niche. Their mother never compared them to each other, even as children, and saw each of them as individuals, with different talents and needs. It made their relationship that much better with her now. And each in her own way was crazy about their mom. She was like a best friend, only better. They had her unconditional love and approval, and she never lost sight of the fact that she was their mother, and not a friend. Sabrina liked it that way, and all of her friends had liked her mother too. As kids, all their friends had loved hanging out at their house, and knew they were always welcome there, as long as they were polite and behaved. Their mother had never tolerated alcohol or drugs when they were young, and with few exceptions, their friends had respected the rules. And when they didn't respect them, she had been tough.

It was just after ten o'clock when Sabrina pulled into their driveway. She let Beulah out of the car, and walked to the pool, where she knew she'd find everyone. The girls were in the water, and her parents were sitting on deck chairs, chatting with them. Sabrina's arrival was met with excitement and squeals of delight. Candy leaped out of the pool and hugged her, and Sabrina was instantly soaking wet, and then she hugged and kissed Annie, and all three girls laughed with delight. Annie said it had been worth the trip all the way from Florence just to see her, and she said Sabrina looked great. She had cut her almost-jet-black hair, which hung just past her shoulders and had been longer before. As a child, Annie always said that Sabrina looked like Snow White, with creamy white skin, dark blue-black hair, and big blue eyes, just like Candy's. Their father's eyes were blue. Both Tammy and Annie had their mother's green eyes. And her mother's hair was as red as Tammy's, although hers had always been straight. She wore it short now. Tammy was the only one in the family with wildly curly hair, and she had hated it growing up. She had ironed it for years. Now she just let it run wild, in a mane of soft curls. Sabrina had always been jealous of Tammy's hair. Sabrina's was thick and dark and straight. And like her sisters, but in a totally different way, she was a beautiful young woman. She had long legs and a trim figure. She wasn't as tall as Candy, but she was tall. Tammy was tiny, like their mother, and Annie was somewhere between the two and of average height, but she was an unusually pretty girl too.

“So what's with this guy Charlie?” Sabrina asked Annie, as she dangled her feet in the pool, and her mother handed her a glass of lemonade. She looked thrilled to have three of her girls at home and the fourth one only hours away. This was what she loved best, her entire family in one place. She looked lovingly at her husband, and he smiled at her. He knew how much it meant to her. He leaned over and kissed her. After nearly thirty-five years, they were still very much in love, and it showed.

They had had their arguments over the years, though never serious ones. Their marriage had been stable since the day they married. Sabrina wondered sometimes if that was why she was hesitant about marriage. She couldn't imagine being lucky enough to have a marriage like theirs, and she didn't want anything less. If anyone was likely to be a good husband, Chris was, but she couldn't imagine being as good a wife as her mother had been for all these years. Jane Adams seemed like the perfect wife and mother to her. Sabrina had said that to her once, and her mother was stunned. She said she had the same insecurities and flaws as everyone else. She gave Jim the credit for how good their marriage was, and said he had been the perfect mate. It was easy to see that in retrospect, but she said that when she got married, she had been scared too. Marriage was a big step, but she had told Sabrina she thought it was well worth taking the risk.

“So tell me about Charlie,” Sabrina insisted. “How serious is it? Are you two getting engaged?”

“Hell, no,” Annie said lightly. “Not yet anyway. He's a great guy, but it's only been six months. I'm twenty-six, I don't want to get married yet. You first. How's Chris?”

“He's terrific,” Sabrina answered, and then they were all distracted as Candy's tiny Yorkshire terrier barked furiously at the basset, and Beulah, looking terrified, hid under a bush, while the Yorkie, wearing a small pink bow, kept her at bay. On her way out, Candy had stopped to pick her up at the place where she boarded her. She had missed her too much while she was in Paris, and was delighted to have her back. “My dog is a total wuss,” Sabrina said, laughing at her. “I think she has self-esteem issues or something. She's very neurotic. She gets depressed.”

“Wait till Juanita attacks her,” Candy said, laughing. Even Zoe, the Yorkie, was afraid of her.

“How was Paris, by the way?” Sabrina asked her.

“It was great. Everyone was going to St. Tropez for the weekend. I'd much rather be here.”

“Me too,” Annie said, beaming. “We all would,” Sabrina said, smiling at her parents. Everything around them seemed so idyllic and peaceful. It reminded them of their childhood, and being safe, loved, and protected again. She always felt happy here.

They sat outside and chatted for another hour, and then their father went to bed. Their mother was staying up to wait for Tammy. She wanted to be awake to welcome her. Sabrina went to put her bathing suit on and joined her sisters in the pool. It was a hot balmy night, the fireflies were dancing, and it was warm in the pool. Eventually, they went back into the house and changed into their nightgowns at nearly one o'clock in the morning. Their mother put sandwiches and cookies with more lemonade out on the kitchen table.

“If I still lived here, I'd be too fat to work,” Candy commented, took a bite out of one cookie, and then put it down.

“I don't think you're in any danger of that,” Annie commented. Like the others, she worried about Candy's weight. She got too much positive reinforcement, and made too much money, for being too thin.

They were sitting in the kitchen, talking, when Tammy's limousine drove up. They heard the car door slam, and a moment later she ran into the kitchen, and they were all in each others' arms again, hugging and laughing and talking all at once while Juanita barked fiercely at everyone. She was on the floor for all of two seconds before she ripped Zoe's bow out, and had Beulah cowering under a chair. Her personality did not reflect Tammy's, but she was definitely the fiercest dog in the pack, although the smallest. Tammy picked her up and scolded her, but the minute she set her down again, she had both dogs on the run.

“She's hopeless,” Tammy apologized, and then looked her sisters over carefully. “God, you all look great. I missed you so much.” Tammy put her arms around her mother and hugged her, and a few minutes later Jane stood up. Her job was done. She had welcomed them all home and could leave them to their own devices now. She knew they'd sit up for hours, catching up, and exchanging secrets and stories about their respective lives. It was time for her to retire and leave them alone.

“I'll see you in the morning,” she said with a yawn, as she left the kitchen. It was so good to have them home. These moments were the high point of her year.

“Sleep tight, Mom, see you tomorrow,” they all said, and kissed her goodnight, just as they had as children.

They helped themselves to a bottle of wine after she left, and sat and talked until after four in the morning, and then they walked upstairs. Their home had been unusual in that each of the girls had had her own room as a kid. They all commented on how strange it felt at times to be back here, and in their old beds, where they had grown up. It made them feel like children again, and brought back so many memories. They all said that they thought their mom looked well, and they promised to discuss the anniversary party the next day, to make a plan. They had so much to talk about, and share, and whatever tensions had existed between them over the years had vanished when they met as adults. The only one who still seemed childlike to them was Candy, but she was still very young. The others felt very grown up, and however young she was, Candy led a very grown-up life. Money and success had come to her early, and in some ways it made her seem more mature than she really was. Sabrina and Tammy worried about her, and talked about it sometimes. Candy was exposed to some pretty scary stuff, in the course of her career as a supermodel. They just hoped she could handle it. Her eating issues were a serious concern to them. Annie was more relaxed about it, and always said she thought she was fine. But in some ways, she was less aware of the challenges that Candy faced on a daily basis, and the dangers in her world. Annie's life was so simple and arty, she couldn't really conceive of the life that Candy led. It was life on another planet to her. Her older sisters were far more aware of the dangers and risks, and the toll they could take on her.

They kissed each other goodnight and went to their own rooms, and a few minutes later Sabrina walked back into Tammy's room and told her how happy she was to see her. Tammy was sitting in bed, wearing a pink nightgown, with her halo of red curls.

“I wish you didn't live so far away,” Sabrina said to Tammy sadly.

“So do I,” Tammy said. “I miss you guys so much. It comes back to me in a rush every time I see you. But there's no decent work for me here. All the big shows are done out of L.A.”

“I know,” Sabrina said, nodding. “I should come out to see you more often. I get so bogged down here,” she said with regret.

“We all do,” Tammy said, nodding. “It all goes by so fast. I hate waiting six months to see you. Sometimes I wish we all still lived here, with Mom and Dad, and we weren't all grown up.”

“Yeah, me too,” Sabrina said, and hugged her again. “I'm glad we still come home like this. At least that's something. Maybe we should organize a trip and all go over to see Annie in Florence. That would be fun. Maybe Mom and Dad would come too.”

“I'm not sure he would, but Mom might. He always thinks they won't survive without him in the office.” And then Tammy laughed. “I guess I think that too, about myself, and so do you. We really ought to try and spend more time together. Right now we're all free, we're not married, we don't have kids. Later it will be even harder to get together. We should try to do it while we still can.”

“I agree,” Sabrina said seriously, as Juanita popped her head out from under the covers and growled at her. She jumped, surprised by the threatened attack from a dog that was barely bigger than a hamster. The basset was sound asleep in her room. “Why don't we organize some kind of trip before we leave here this time? I can take a week off, if I plan it far enough ahead.”

“Me too,” Tammy said, wanting to do it, though not sure how easily she could get away. During the season, her life was insane.

“Let's talk about it tomorrow,” Sabrina said, and left the room again. She was so happy to be with her sisters. They all were.

And in her room, their mother could hear them moving around, visiting each other's bedrooms. She smiled as she turned over next to Jim. It reminded her of the old days, when she knew that all was well because all four of them were home at night. She reveled in the comforting sounds of having her whole family under one roof. She counted her blessings, as she always did, as she fell asleep, thinking how lucky she was to have them, and that they would all be there for three more days. For her, they were life's greatest gift.