Sisters

Chapter 6

Two men from the highway patrol rang the Adamses' doorbell shortly after twelve-thirty. They had left the scene of the accident as Annie was taken away in the ambulance. They had found Jane's driver's license in her handbag in the car, and they could tell from Annie's that she was Jane's daughter. She still had her parents' Connecticut address on her U.S. driver's license. She had an Italian license in her handbag as well. If necessary, highway patrolmen were allowed to notify next of kin by phone, in case of an accident. But Chuck Petri, the officer in charge at the scene, thought it was inhuman to do that. If something had happened to his wife or daughter, he would want a real live human being to come and tell him, not a phone call. So he sent two patrolmen to the Adamses' address and handled traffic at the scene himself, as they directed a single file of cars to move past the crushed cars and tarped bodies, going five miles per hour. The highway would be tied up for hours.

The two patrolmen ringing the bell looked acutely uncomfortable. One was a rookie and had never done anything like it before. The senior officer with him was his partner and had promised to do the talking when someone answered.

It took a few minutes for someone to come to the door, since they couldn't hear the doorbell clearly from the pool. Sabrina had just said she wondered where their mom and Annie were. They had been gone for nearly an hour, a lot longer than it took to get to the store they had in mind. Maybe the store was closed and they had had to go somewhere else for the pickles and mayonnaise. Tammy went to answer the door when they heard it; she was going to the kitchen to get something to drink anyway. She pulled open the front door and saw them through the screen door, and as soon as she did she could feel her heart pound, and forced herself to believe that this couldn't be as ominous as it appeared. They were probably there about some minor infraction, like the sprinkler leaving spots on the neighbor's window, or the dogs making too much noise. That had to be it. The young officer was smiling nervously at her, and the older officer looked at her with a somber frown.

“Can I help you, officer?” Tammy asked, looking him directly in the eye, reassuring herself silently again.

“Is there a Mr. James Adams here?” He was listed with the DMV as Jane's next of kin. His young partner had gotten it off the computer for him on the drive over.

“Of course,” Tammy said respectfully, and stepped aside so they could come in out of the heat. The house was cool to the point of being chilly. Their mother liked to run the air conditioning full blast. “I'll get him for you. May I say what this is about?” She wanted to know herself, more than for her dad. But suddenly her father was right behind her, as though he had sensed that the doorbell signaled something important. He looked puzzled when he saw the two officers in highway patrol uniforms.

“Mr. Adams?”

“Yes. Is something wrong?” Tammy saw her father's face go pale, just as Sabrina and Candy walked in.

“May I speak to you alone, sir?” the senior officer asked, having taken his hat off in the house. Tammy noticed that although he was bald, he was a nice-looking man about her father's age. The officer with him looked about fourteen years old.

Without saying a word, their father led them into the library he and their mother used as a den in the winter. It was a pretty wood-paneled room with a fireplace, lined with antique books they had collected for years. There were two comfortable couches, and several large leather chairs. Jim sat down in one of them, and waved them both to the couch. He had no idea whatsoever why they were there. He had the insane idea suddenly that one of them was about to be arrested, and he couldn't imagine why. He hoped that one of the girls hadn't done something stupid. Candy was still young and was the only one he could think of who might. Maybe she had smuggled some drugs through customs when she came from Paris, or Annie in the spirit of her artistic life. He hoped not, but it was the only thing that came to mind. His daughters were hovering in the hallway just outside, looking worried, as the senior officer took a deep breath, clutching the hat in his hand. It was a while since he had done anything like this, and it was hard.

“I'm sorry to tell you, sir, there's been an accident. About twenty minutes ago, on Highway 1, about five miles from here.”

“An accident?” Jim looked blank, and in the hallway Sabrina gasped and clutched Tammy and Candy's hands. It wasn't computing in their father's brain.

“Yes, sir. I'm sorry. We wanted to come and tell you in person. There was an incident with a truck, a bunch of steel pipes got loose and caused a three-way head-on collision. Some of the pipes went through one of the cars. The driver was Jane Wilkinson Adams, her date of birth was June 11, 1950. You're listed as next of kin with the DMV. I believe she was your wife.” His voice dwindled to nothing as Jim stared at him in horror.

“What do you mean, she ‘was’ my wife? She still is!” he insisted.

“She was killed instantly in the accident. The pipes went through her windshield and ejected her from the car, which hit two other vehicles head-on. She was dead on impact.” There was no way to dress it up. The terms were ugly. And Jim's face suddenly contorted in pain as it finally hit him, and all that it meant.

“Oh my God… oh my God…” The girls could hear a sob in the room, and not being able to stand it any longer, they rushed in. All they had heard was “dead on impact,” but they still didn't know who, Annie or Mom or both? They were desperately frightened as their father cried.

“Who is it? What happened?” Sabrina was the first to enter the room and ask, with the other two close behind her. Candy was already crying, although she didn't know yet for whom, or why.

“It's Mom,” their father said in a choked voice. “… There was an accident on…a head-on collision… steel pipes fell off a truck…” Tammy and Sabrina's eyes filled instantly with tears as well, as Sabrina turned to the officer with a look of panic, and he told them how sorry he was about their mom.

“What happened to my sister? She was in the car with Mom. Her name is Anne.” She couldn't even let herself think that they had both been killed. She held her breath and braced herself the moment she asked.

“She's still alive. I was going to tell your father, but I wanted to give him a minute to catch his breath.” The officer looked apologetically at them all, as tears filled the rookie's eyes. This was even worse than he had imagined. These were real people, and they were talking about their mother. He didn't look it, but he was Candy's age. He had three sisters, close in age to them, and a mother close to their mother's age. “She was badly injured in the accident, they just took her to Bridgeport Hospital. She was unconscious when they got her out of the car. It was a miracle-she was the only survivor in all three cars.” In all, eight people had died, but the officer didn't tell the Adamses that. He had come here first, because Annie was still alive. And they had to be notified quickly so they could go to the hospital. The time factor was less crucial in the cars where everyone had died.

“What happened to her? Is she going to be okay?” Tammy interjected quickly, as Candy just stood there and sobbed, looking like a gigantically tall five-year-old.

“She was in critical condition when they took her. I'll drive you folks down there if you like. Or I can lead the way with the siren on, if you want to take your car.” Jim was still staring at him in disbelief. Nearly thirty-five years with a woman he had loved deeply since the first hour he met her, and now suddenly in the flash of an instant, in an incredibly stupid freak accident, she was gone. He hadn't even fully understood what they'd said about Annie. All he could think of now was his wife.

“Yes,” Sabrina answered before anyone else could, “we'll follow you.” The officer nodded as she and Tammy sprang into action. They ran upstairs and grabbed their handbags, and with sudden forethought, Sabrina took the address book and party list from her mother's desk. They were going to have to call off the party that night. Tammy made sure all three dogs were inside and took bottles of water from the fridge and threw them into her bag. A moment later they were all running toward their father's car. It was a large recent-model Mercedes sedan. Sabrina got behind the steering wheel and told him to get in. He got into the passenger seat next to her, as Candy and Tammy slid into the backseat and slammed the doors. All Sabrina could think of was that maybe Annie would be dead before they even arrived. She was praying she'd still be alive.

The officers turned on the siren before they left the driveway, and took off at a terrifying speed with Sabrina right behind them. They hit ninety when they got on the highway, and she stayed within two feet of him for the entire drive. They were at Bridgeport Hospital within minutes. Their father hadn't stopped crying since they left the house.

“Why didn't I go to the store for her? I could have done it. I didn't even think to ask her.” He was blaming himself, as Sabrina parked in the hospital lot and looked at him for a minute before they got out, and then took him in her arms.

“If you had done that, she'd have been here crying over you, Dad. It happened. We can think about that later. We have to see what happened to Annie, and get her through this somehow.” Sabrina was hoping that she wasn't as badly injured as they all feared. With any luck at all, their sister would be spared. It was bad enough to lose their mother, unthinkable in fact, but right now all she could allow herself to think about was Annie. She waited for the others to get out, which seemed to take forever, set the alarm on her father's car, and waved her thanks at the highway patrolmen for getting them there so fast. They ran straight into the emergency room and were sent to the trauma unit, where the woman at the desk said Annie had been taken. Sabrina ran down the hall, with Candy and Tammy behind her, and her father bringing up the rear. Sabrina wanted to console him, but they had Annie to think about right now. There was nothing they could do for their mother. Somehow, as they walked into the trauma unit, Sabrina felt sure she would see her mother waiting for them, telling them Annie was going to be okay. The reality they encountered was far different.

The chief resident in the trauma unit came out to see them immediately, as soon as Sabrina gave their names. He said that Annie was barely clinging to life and needed brain and eye surgery as soon as possible, to relieve pressure on her brain and hopefully save her sight. But as he looked at all of them, he didn't pull any punches and said that Annie's injury was greatest in the part of her brain that affected her vision.

“I don't know if we can save her sight,” he said bluntly. “Right now I'm more concerned with keeping her alive.”

“So are we,” Tammy said, as Candy stared at him in horror.

“She's an artist! You have to save her eyes!” He nodded and said nothing, showed them the CT scans and X-rays on a light box in the waiting room, and told them he was waiting for the best possible brain surgeon and ophthalmologist to come in. Both had been called. Since it was the Fourth of July, neither of them was on duty, but luckily their answering services had reached them. The brain surgeon had phoned to say he was on the way, and they had just reached the eye surgeon at a family barbecue. He had said he would be there in less than half an hour. Annie was on life support in the meantime. Her heart had stopped twice on the way in, and she was no longer breathing on her own. But her brain waves were normal. As far as they could tell, there was no major brain damage so far. The swelling of her brain was going to cause some real problems very shortly, but what the resident said he was most worried about were her eyes. If she survived the accident at all, there was a good chance her brain would return to normal. From what he had seen of the damage Annie had sustained in the accident, he couldn't imagine their being able to save her sight. His greatest concern was that her optic nerves were damaged beyond repair. But miracles did happen, and they needed one now.

The brain surgeon walked in as they were looking at the films of Annie's brain. After looking at them himself, he explained what the procedure would be, what the risks were, and how long it would probably take. He didn't pull any punches either, and said that there was a very real possibility that Annie could die in surgery. But they had no other choice. He said clearly that without surgery to relieve the swelling, Annie could be severely brain-damaged forever, or might die.

“Annie would hate that,” Tammy whispered to her sisters, about her being brain-damaged. They agreed to let him operate, and both Sabrina and Tammy signed the release forms. Their father was in no condition to do anything except sit in a chair in the waiting room, crying for his wife. His daughters were afraid he'd have a heart attack, and Candy had to sit down, saying she thought she was going to faint. Candy and their father sat there together, crying and holding hands. Sabrina and Tammy were just as shocked as they were, but they were on their feet and talking, and in the front lines.

Moments after the brain surgeon left to examine Annie again, the ophthalmologist walked in, and explained his part of the procedure to them. It was infinitely delicate surgery, and he was honest when he looked at the films. He said it was a very, very long shot for him to be able to save Annie's sight, but he thought it was worth a try. Between the two procedures, they were told by both surgeons that the combined operation would take somewhere between six and eight hours, and they warned them that there was a very real chance that their sister might not survive. She was hovering near death now.

“Can we see her before the surgery?” Tammy asked the resident, and he nodded.

“She's in pretty bad shape. Are you sure you're all right?” Sabrina and Tammy both nodded and then turned to where their father and Candy were sitting. They walked over to them and asked if they wanted to see Annie before she went into surgery. They didn't say it, but it was possible that it was the last time any of them would see her alive. Their father just shook his head and turned his face away. He was already dealing with more than he could handle, and he had been told he would have to identify his wife's body, which was downstairs in the morgue. Candy looked at her two oldest sisters in horror and sobbed louder.

“Oh my God, I can't… oh my God… Annie…and Mom…” Their baby sister was completely falling apart, which didn't surprise either of them. They left Candy and their father in the waiting room and followed the resident into the trauma unit, where Annie was.

She was in a small curtained-off area with a forest of tubes and monitors hanging from her. She had been intubated for the respirator and her nose taped closed. Four nurses and two residents were working on her, watching her vital signs closely. Her blood pressure had dropped, and they were fighting to keep her alive. Tammy and Sabrina tried not to get in their way, and the resident showed them where to stand. They could only get to her one at a time. Her face had been badly lacerated, and one of her cheekbones was broken. There were cuts up and down both arms, and a nasty gash on one shoulder, which was bare. Sabrina gently touched her hand and kissed her fingers, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Come on, Annie girl… you can do it… you gotta hang in, baby, for all of us. We love you. You're going to be okay. Be a big girl now. We're all right here with you.” She was suddenly reminded of when she had taken Annie to the playground when she was thirteen and Annie was five. She got on the seesaw when Sabrina wasn't looking, fell off, and broke her arm. Sabrina had been sick over it, and a mother she knew had driven them to the emergency room, where she had called their mom. Their mother wasn't angry and didn't scold her- instead she praised Sabrina for keeping a cool head and getting Annie to the hospital. She told her that it could have happened when she was with Annie too. Things happened to kids. She said it was a lesson to keep a closer eye on her next time, but it could have happened anyway. And she praised Annie for being brave. She hadn't scolded either of them for being stupid or careless, or Sabrina because her sister broke her arm. It had been one of her first major lessons about who her mother was, how she handled things, and how loving and kind she was. She had never forgotten it, and was reminded of it now. “You gotta be brave, Annie. Just like the time you broke your arm.” But this was so much worse, and unthinkable if Annie lost her sight. But worst of all if she lost her life. Sabrina was willing to settle for anything they could get, even if Annie was brain-damaged and no longer herself for the rest of her life. They would love her just the same. She kissed her fingers again, and gave up her place to Tammy, who stood looking at her, with tears rolling down her cheeks in streams. She could hardly speak.

“You heard Brina, Annie… she's gonna kick our asses if you don't hang in.” It had been her threat to her next-youngest sister when they were kids. She and Annie were the closest in age. Sabrina was eight years older than Annie, and five years older than Tammy. As children it had always seemed like a big difference, but it didn't matter now. “You be a big girl, Annie. We'll be right here when you wake up. I love you… don't forget that,” Tammy said as she dissolved in sobs and had to walk away. Sabrina came to put an arm around her and they walked out to the waiting room again. Their father and Candy hadn't moved since they left them and looked even worse than before, if that was possible, which gave Tammy an idea.

She looked up their family doctor's phone number in the address book they'd brought with them. She put it into her cell phone and walked discreetly away. They were able to patch her through to the doctor at his home, and she explained to him what had happened. She asked if he could come to the hospital to identify her mother's body so her father wouldn't have to do it. She didn't want any of them remembering her that way, and the resident had warned her that the damage to her mother had been extensive and she looked pretty grim. Their family physician promised to meet them at the hospital immediately. She told him that her father and youngest sister were in pretty bad shape and might benefit from some form of sedation, if that seemed reasonable to him.

“Of course. And how are you?” He sounded concerned.

“I don't know,” Tammy said honestly, glancing at Sabrina, who had walked over to be near her. “In shock, I think. We all are. This is pretty tough, and Annie's in bad shape.” She explained what they were planning to do to her in surgery, and he promised to be there within the hour, to offer moral support, if nothing else. It was something at least, and would relieve her father of the horrifying task of identifying his beloved Jane's remains. Tammy couldn't bear to think of her that way, nor could he. She explained to her father that their doctor was coming, and that he would identify Mom for them. After that she could be released to a funeral parlor, but none of them had thought of that yet. They were too stunned by everything that had happened, and too worried about Annie. While Tammy was on the phone, the resident had come to say that Annie was already in surgery, and they'd be starting in a few minutes. He promised to send them reports as soon as they knew anything, but he warned them again that she would be in surgery for many hours.

“Shouldn't I say goodbye to her?” their father said about his wife, when Tammy explained to him that their doctor was coming to identify her, so he didn't have to. Tammy hesitated before she answered her father's question, looking for the right way to say it, and relieve him of guilt at the same time.

“I don't think so, Dad,” she said honestly. “I don't think Mom would want you to remember her that way. You know what she looks like, and how beautiful she was. She wouldn't want you to be that sad,” Tammy said gently, fighting back tears again. They were ever present now.

“You mean I can't hold her again?” His question nearly tore out his daughters' hearts, and the look of anguish in his eyes was even worse. He was a broken man. Only that morning he had been the lively, handsome, youthful father they had always known. And now, suddenly in a matter of hours, he was a frightened, agonized old man. It was horrifying to see.

“You can, Dad,” Sabrina explained, “of course you can, but I think it would be so awful for you, and for Mom. Sometimes we don't get to say goodbye to the people we love most. If she'd gone down in a plane crash, you couldn't hold her either. All that's left now is a shell, not Mom, not Jane. She's gone, Dad. If you need to say goodbye to her, you can. No one's going to stop you. I just don't think it's what Mom would want.” She had devoted a lifetime to making life happy and easier for him-the last thing she would have wanted was to cause him more anguish now.

“Maybe you're right,” he said softly, looking relieved, and a little while later their doctor walked in. He was wonderful with Jim and the girls. He was deeply sympathetic, compassionate, and kind. He handed Sabrina a bottle of Valium and told her to distribute it as needed. He thought her father would benefit from one now and suggested someone take him home. He was in good health, but had always had a mild heart murmur, and he'd been through so much that day. He could see that Candy was a mess too. She had hyperventilated twice since they'd arrived, and said she felt as though she was going to vomit. She felt sick every time she stood up. Sabrina gave each of them a pill with a paper cup full of cold water, and conferred with Tammy quietly as soon as the doctor went downstairs to the morgue to identify Jane. He asked the girls if they had contacted a funeral parlor yet, and they said they hadn't had time. They had come straight to the hospital to see Annie. No calls had been made. Neither of their parents had siblings, and their grandparents were all dead and had been for years. The entire family was at the hospital. All decisions could be made right here, although Sabrina and Tammy were obviously in charge and had the clearest heads, in spite of the fact that both were deeply affected by what had happened. But their father and Candy were falling apart. Tammy and Sabrina weren't, no matter how heartbroken they were.

The doctor had told them what funeral parlor to call, and as soon as he left, Sabrina called them and said they would try to come in the next day to discuss arrangements, but circumstances were difficult, with their sister in critical condition. She just hoped they wouldn't be planning two funerals. One was bad enough, their mother's, which was beyond their worst nightmares and fears. The worst had happened to them. Sabrina refused to think of Annie dying too.

“I think one of us should take them home,” Tammy said to Sabrina as they stood next to the water cooler down the hall from where Candy and their father were sitting. They were both beginning to look a little woozy from the Valium they'd taken, and their father looked like he was going to sleep. It had all been too much for him.

“I don't want to leave you here alone,” Sabrina said, looking worried. “And I want to be here for Annie too. We both should.”

“We can't,” Tammy said practically. If anything, she was pragmatic and had common sense, even in circumstances as awful and emotional as these. And Sabrina was levelheaded too. They looked entirely different, but were sisters to the core, and had a lot of their mother in them. She would have handled this just as they had. Sabrina was aware of it herself. “Neither of them is in any condition to stay here. We've got to get them home to bed. I think you and I have to take turns being here for Annie. There's no point in our being here together, and leaving Dad and Candy alone at home. We can't. They're in terrible shape. And Annie's going to be in surgery for hours. I don't think she'll be out of surgery till nine or ten o'clock tonight.”

“Why don't I get Chris here? He can stay with them tonight so you can come back when Annie's out of surgery. He's good with Dad. He was coming out anyway, for the party.”

“Oh Jesus, we have to call everybody.” The party was only hours away, and they didn't want a hundred people ringing their doorbell. It had to be called off.

“If you take Candy and Dad home,” Sabrina suggested sensibly, “I'll stay here and make the calls. There's nothing else for me to do. I just want to be around if something goes wrong.” Tammy wanted to be there too, but what Sabrina was suggesting made sense.

“Okay. When Chris gets here, he can stay at the house, and I'll come back and sit with you, or you can go home by then if she's okay and out of the woods.”

“I don't think it'll happen that fast,” Sabrina said sadly. “I think we're going to be in the woods for a while.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Tammy said, looking devastated. They both were. They just took comfort in action, like their mother. Annie and Candy were more like their father, dreamers, and more high-strung, although Tammy had never thought of her father that way. She had always assumed he was strong, but saw now that he wasn't, and without her mother he was collapsing like a house of cards. The shock was still fresh, but she had somehow expected him to be more solid than he was.

They both walked back to talk to Candy and their father then, and said the doctor thought they should go home and rest. Nothing was going to happen with Annie for many hours, they hoped. So Sabrina explained that Tammy was going to take them home.

“What about the party?” her father asked, looking worried. It had just occurred to him.

“I'll make the calls, Dad.” It was a terrible way of breaking the news to their friends, but the only one they had. “I've got Mom's address book with me.” She showed it to him in her bag, and his eyes filled with tears again as he nodded.

“I don't know where the guest list is,” he said in a hoarse croak, as Candy stared at them, looking stoned. She weighed so little that the Valium had hit her hard. She had taken the same dose as her father, she was nearly as tall, but half his weight. Sabrina had forgotten to adjust the dosage, but she knew Candy had taken them before when she was upset, usually over guys, or some crisis at a shoot.

“I have the guest list too, Dad.” It was suddenly like talking to an old man. “Don't worry about anything. Just go home and get some rest. Tammy will take you home.” Sabrina told Candy to go too, and both of them followed Tammy out to the car, like docile children, after Sabrina and Tammy hugged for a long moment, and choked on sobs again. Sabrina said she'd call to check in.

The first thing she did when they left was call Chris. He was just leaving his apartment, and asked if she had forgotten anything she needed him to bring. He sounded in great spirits, and hadn't had time yet to notice that Sabrina wasn't. All she had said so far was hello, in a shaking voice.

“I need you to come out right away,” she said, which confused him.

“I was just leaving. What's the rush? Something wrong?” He couldn't imagine what it was, unless the dogs had eaten all the food for the party. Beulah the basset was capable of it.

“I…uh… yeah,” she said as tears choked her throat, and suddenly all the calm and false bravado were gone and she was a mess too. She couldn't stop crying long enough to tell him, as he listened at the other end, deeply worried. He had never heard Sabrina sound like that. She was always so calm and in control. She was sobbing openly on the phone.

“Baby… what's wrong…tell me… it's okay… I'll be there as fast as I can.” He couldn't even imagine what it was.

“I…uh… Chris… it's my mom… and Annie…” His heart started to pound as he listened, and he had a premonition, which terrified him. He loved her family as much as his own, maybe more. Hers was nicer to him, and had been nothing but wonderful during the years he and Sabrina had been together.

“What happened?” He was scared to death to ask.

“They had an accident, a couple of hours ago.” She took a deep breath, but her voice continued to shake and her tears to flow. She could let it all out with him, and now she couldn't stop. “A head-on collision, and a thing with a truck… Mom was killed instantly…and Annie…” She could hardly go on but forced herself to. “She's in surgery now for a brain injury, she's in critical condition, on a respirator. They think she may be blind, if she survives.”

“Oh shit… oh my God… Sabrina… baby, I'm so sorry… I'll be there as fast as I can.”

“No!” She almost shouted at him. “Don't drive too fast! Please!” And then she started to cry again.

“Where are you?” He wished he had a helicopter or could just beam himself down. He hated every moment he was away from her, and he knew it would take several hours to get there, at best. The holiday traffic was always awful on the Merritt Parkway.

“At Bridgeport Hospital. In the trauma unit, I'm in the waiting room.”

“Who's with you?” He sounded on the verge of tears himself, for her. They weren't married, but he loved her as much as if they were, and all he wanted was to be with her now and take her in his arms.

“I just sent Tammy home. Candy and my father are a wreck. We gave them Valium. And Annie will be in surgery till late tonight. It's better if Tammy and I take turns.”

“I can sit with you, or babysit your dad and Candy if you want.”

“I was hoping you would,” she said with a sigh. She could always count on him. “But Chris… will you come here first? I need you,” she said, bursting into tears again, and this time she could hear that he was crying too when he spoke to her again.

“Sabrina, I love you. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'll be there as soon as I can. Call me on my cell phone when I'm on the way, whenever you want. I'll leave now. And I'll drive carefully, I promise.” And then he thought of something. “What are you doing about the party?” They obviously had to call it off, but how? He was overwhelmed just thinking about it, and was sure she was too.

“I have my mom's address book here. I'm going to call everybody now.”

“I'll help when I get there if it's not too late by then.” But he suspected it would be. The party was in four hours, and it would take him three to drive out.

“I'll get there as soon as I can,” he said again. “I love you, Sabrina.” He was already thinking about taking some time off from work, if he could. It was the least he could do for her, and the funeral would be in the coming days, and awful for them. He just hoped Annie would be okay. That would just be too much for them. Losing their mother was bad enough and a terrible shock. Losing Annie too would drive them all over the edge. He couldn't even think about it. Or the possibility of her surviving blind. For an artist, on top of it. He just hoped that she'd survive, in whatever condition.

Sabrina called the caterers first, to cancel, and then everyone on the list. It took two hours, and was nearly unbearable. She had to tell each person what had happened. And all of their friends were in shock once she had. Many of them offered to go over and see her dad, but she told them she thought it was too soon. He had been in no state to see anyone when he left the hospital. She had called Tammy at the house several times, and she said they were both sound asleep, mercifully. The Valium had done its job. Tammy had taken nothing. She wanted to be alert, just as Sabrina was.

It was six o'clock when Chris arrived, looking flustered and worried about her. He found her in the waiting room, staring into space, thinking. Annie had been in surgery for four hours by then. The resident said they were halfway through the surgeries, and it was going well so far. Her vital signs were holding firm, which was something at least, but not enough. They hadn't started the eye surgery yet, and were still operating on her brain. Sabrina tried not to think about it, and collapsed in sobs in Chris's arms when he walked in. They sat together and talked for several hours, about her mother, Annie, her father, all of them. There was so much to think about and so little that any of them could do right now. All they could do was wait, and pray for Annie.

Tammy had called the funeral parlor again from the house, and started to make arrangements, and decisions. She told Sabrina that they had to go there in the morning and pick a casket. And they had to go to the church too, and set a day and time for the funeral, pick the music, find a photograph of their mother for the program. It was nightmarish thinking about it. How could this be happening to them? But it was. It was all too real.

At eight o'clock Sabrina sent Chris to the house to take over from Tammy. She said that their father had woken up and was crying again. She wasn't sure whether to give him another Valium or not. Candy was still out like a light. Chris told Sabrina he'd cook dinner for them, and Tammy could come back to the hospital to wait with Sabrina. Half an hour later Tammy was back, and the two sisters sat in silence in the waiting room, huddled together and holding hands. Eventually they had their arms around each other and just held each other that way. They couldn't seem to get close enough to each other, as though if they did, nothing bad could happen to them. Or at least nothing worse than what already had.

“How was Dad when you left?” Sabrina asked her, looking worried.

“He was happy to see Chris. He just sobbed in his arms. The poor guy is just a mess. I don't know what's going to happen to him when we all leave.”

“Maybe I can commute for a while.” Sabrina looked pensive. It would be a tough commute for her, with the hours she kept, but others did it. Her father did, although his office hours weren't as long as hers. He had been lightening his load for several years, to spend more time with his wife. And now what? He would come home every night to an empty house. Sabrina didn't want that for him.

“That's crazy. You can't do that,” Tammy said.

“Maybe he could stay with me,” Sabrina said cautiously.

“That's even worse. You won't have a life. And he's not ninety years old, for chrissake. He's fifty-nine. He'll want to be out here, in his own house.”

“Without Mom? Don't be so sure. I'm beginning to wonder if he can manage without her. After all these years, he was totally dependent on her. I don't think I realized that till today.”

“You can't judge by today,” Tammy said, sounding hopeful. “We're all in a state of shock. He is too. He'll have to get used to managing on his own. Other men his age do, and even older ones, who lose their wives. Maybe he'll get married again,” she said, looking upset, and her older sister looked horrified.

“Don't be ridiculous. Dad? Are you kidding? Mom was the love of his life. He's never going to get married again. But I'm not convinced he can take care of himself either.”

“He's not an invalid. And he's an adult. He'll have to figure it out like everyone else does. He can visit you, if he wants. But don't ask him to move in. It would be impossible for you, and not good for him either. He was dependent on her. He can't transfer it to you now, unless you want to give up your life and become the spinster daughter,” Tammy teased.

“I already am,” Sabrina said, and laughed for the first time that day.

“Don't make it a lifetime habit,” Tammy warned her, “or you'll be sorry. And it wouldn't be fair to Chris. This is your time, not Dad's. He had his life with Mom. Now he has to move into a different stage. Maybe he should see a shrink.” They were busily planning his life, without consulting him, but it distracted them from the agony of their mother's death only hours before, and their sister fighting for her life.

“Do you suppose we should call Charlie?” Sabrina asked after a momentary lull. The time ticked by too slowly, waiting for news of Annie.

“Annie's Charlie? In Florence?” Tammy looked surprised by the suggestion.

“Yeah. I just thought maybe he'd want to know. I think they've been pretty serious for the last few months. Annie says he's a great guy, rock solid. I think she might move back to New York with him. Mom was hoping she would.”

“Have you met him, or talked to him?” Tammy asked, and Sabrina shook her head. “Then I think we should wait. We don't know anything yet. Things could get a lot better, or worse. Let's not shake him up more than we have to. This is pretty heavy stuff, for a guy who's just been dating her for six months, and they're young.” Sabrina nodded. It sounded sensible to her too.

It was nearly ten when Annie finally came out of surgery. She had been there for almost eight hours, and as far as the doctors were concerned, it had gone well. She had survived it. She was still on the respirator, but they were going to try and take her off it in a few days. She was young and strong, and her vital signs were good, even during surgery. They had managed to take the pressure off her brain, and they were hopeful that there was no long-term damage. If she regained consciousness soon, it would bode well for her future. They gave them all the good news first. She was still in critical condition, but as they told her sisters, they were guardedly optimistic, depending on how she came through the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours. But they were hopeful that she would live, without long-term damage to her brain.

And then came the bad news. They had saved the worst for last. The most important was that she had survived the surgery, and the operation on her brain had gone well. But the eye surgery hadn't. Her optic nerves had been severed and could not be repaired. The damage to her eyes was so severe that even a transplant could not help her. There was no question and no hope. If Annie lived, she would be blind.

Tammy and Sabrina sat in shocked silence when they heard it, and made not a sound. They were too stunned to move, and then finally Sabrina spoke up.

“She's a very talented artist,” she said, as though that would change their verdict, but it didn't. The ophthalmologist just shook his head and told them he was sorry. He felt she would be very lucky if she lived, and they agreed. But what kind of life would she have if she was blind? Knowing her as they did, they couldn't imagine it, and suspected she would rather be dead than blind. Everything in her life was about art and sight. What would Annie do without that? Her entire education and life were related to art. It was horrifying to think about, but losing her completely would be worse.

“Are you sure about her sight?” Tammy asked softly.

“Completely sure,” the eye surgeon said, and he left a little while later, as the two sisters sat in the waiting room alone again, holding hands, and then silently they both began to cry, for their sister and each other and themselves, for the mother they loved so much and would never see again. They clung to each other like two lost children in a storm. The nurses saw them and kept their distance, sorry for them. They knew how much they'd been through, and could only imagine how hard it was.