Sweet Seduction

Chapter 13

Faith sat on the counter in the bathroom, her legs dangling over the edge. Gray stood between her knees holding the paper bag with the EPT test.

"Before we do this, I think we need to make a few things clear," he said in a husky voice. "Or at least talk about the possibilities."

She nodded as a flutter of panic scuttled higher in her stomach.

"How do you feel about the possibility of you being pregnant?" he asked gently.

She closed her eyes. Why couldn't he say how he felt first? Ah well, honesty and all that stuff. If her not embracing the idea upset him, then maybe . . . No, she wouldn't think about things like leaving the wedding called off. She and Gray were on the same page. She had to believe that.

"Terrified?"

His eyes softened, and he leaned in to press his lips to her forehead.

"You know I want children. Eventually. But Gray, I have to be honest. I'm praying so hard for this to be one huge false alarm."

"Me too," he admitted.

Her shoulders sagged in relief.

"Tell me, baby, is this why you called off the wedding? Did you get scared or think I might be upset if you were pregnant?"

"I wish I could say yes," she said glumly. "But the fact is, I didn't even think about the possibility of pregnancy until Julie mentioned it. My boobs have been tender, and I've been so hormonal. I was convinced you weren't interested in me anymore," she added in an embarrassed voice.

He stilled and then pulled away, his eyes narrow. He looked ... angry.

"Okay, maybe we should talk about a few more things before you take this test. What on earth gave you that idea? Are you not happy with the dynamics of our relationship any longer? You need to tell me if it's not working, Faith. We talked about all this before, but you're entitled to change your mind, you know."

Ugh. This was getting way more complicated than she wanted.

She reached up to touch him, needing that brief moment of contact before she went on. "I love our relationship, Gray. I haven't regretted ceding the power, the decision making, putting myself into your hands completely and wholly. I wanted to be taken care of, and until recently thought you did such a wonderful job of making me feel, well, taken care of."

When he opened his mouth, she placed a finger over his lips.

"I was an idiot, Gray. I swear I'm not usually so irrational. I just got scared. I'm not even sure what the hell happened. You've been wonderful, and I feel so unappreciative. I acted like a child sulking because she wasn't the center of attention. If I could take it all back I would. I just snapped."

"Snapped?"

He looked so perplexed she almost laughed.

"Yeah, uh I sort of had seduction in mind last night and when you didn't show up yet again after work, I got pissed, then I got overly emotional, and then I convinced myself in a fit of self-pity that you weren't attracted to me any longer and were avoiding me like the plague."

His mouth dropped open, and his eyes gleamed with silent laughter.

"Don't you dare laugh," she muttered. "It all sounds perfectly ridiculous now, but at the time I was convinced I was about to be single again."

At that his amusement vanished. He touched the tip of his finger to her chin, his eyes boring holes through her.

"You aren't the only one who screwed up, Faith. Yeah, my intentions were good, but how were you supposed to know that? I shouldn't have tried to keep the house a secret, and I damn sure shouldn't have spent so many nights over there with no explanation. In hindsight I'm lucky you didn't think I was cheating on you. All I can say is that it ain't ever going to happen. You're it for me, baby. And I sure hope to hell I'm it for you."

She sighed and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. "You are it for me, Gray. I guess we can be stupid screwups together."

He found her lips, kissing lightly, then deeper. "I love you."

She smiled against his mouth. "I love you too. Forgive me?"

"Of course. Now, we need to talk about this other matter between us."

He raised the paper bag between them so that they both stared at it. You'd think a snake was hiding in it with the way they eyed it so cautiously.

"If... if you're pregnant, we can do this," he said. "No, it's not how we planned it, but it won't be the end of the world. We'll adjust, and we'll be damn good parents."

Her lips trembled and she stared into his eyes, drowning all over again in love.

"I can't believe I almost did this without you."

"Don't make a habit of it," he growled affectionately.

"You going to watch me pee on the stick?"

"How 'bout I stand over here and study the ceiling while you do the deed. Then we'll embark on the longest five minutes of our lives."

She chuckled, and he lowered her down to the floor then moved away from the toilet. He leaned back against the counter while she tore away the packaging and concentrated on the instructions.

"Think we'll look back on this day and laugh ten years down the road?" Gray asked.

She pursed her lips as she turned the plastic tube the right way and then looked back up at him. "What if I am pregnant? I wouldn't want our child to ever know we sat here and prayed he or she didn't exist."

"First of all, who says we'll say anything? Second, I'm sure if you are pregnant, then we'll spend parts of the next eighteen years and beyond wishing he or she didn't exist."

She laughed, feeling some of the tension escape with each burst. "Okay, don't talk to me for a minute. I don't pee well under pressure."

He chuckled but fell silent as she wiggled and maneuvered until her underwear was where it was supposed to go and the plastic was where it was supposed to go.

"How do you keep from peeing on your hand?" Gray asked.

She froze and looked up to see a bemused expression on his face. Then she burst out laughing.

"Wouldn't it be easier to pee in something else first? That just seems to be an awfully small target," he said doubtfully.

Her shoulders shook so bad that she couldn't keep the test in place.

"Leave it to a man to make perfect sense of a female issue," she muttered. "But then a man probably invented the damn thing to begin with."

"Want a cup?" he asked with a grin.

"Please?"

Laughing he left the bathroom and a moment later returned with a foam cup.

"Not that this is likely to keep any more pee off my hand," she said as she eyed it.

Gray dutifully remained silent while she administered the test. When she was finished, she laid it gently on the counter and the two of them stared at it like it would go off after the allotted time.

She blew out her breath, puffing her cheeks as the air whooshed out. "Okay, so now we wait."

"Come here," he said, holding out his arms.

She slid easily into his embrace, pressing against his muscled chest. Her fingers idly brushed over where she knew the scar lay under his shirt. A reminder of how close she came to losing him. She closed her eyes, willing those memories away.

"You know we'll handle this, no matter what," he said.

She nodded. And she did know. It wasn't as if either of them had anything against children. She just wanted . . . time. Time with Gray. Time to enjoy it being just the two of them. Later when they were comfortable in their relationship, comfortable with each other and some of the new and shiny had worn off, then they could think about children.

"Here's what I suggest," he said as he pulled her away from his chest. "I think we should go out and celebrate. Dinner, some good conversation and then come home and make love until we pass out. The only unknown is what we'll be celebrating, right?"

She leaned forward and linked her arms around his neck. "That sounds absolutely wonderful. Especially the part about making love until we drop. I've missed you, Gray. As much as I love surprises, I don't like them at the expense of you being away so much."

He kissed her nose and then her cheeks and finally her lips. By the time he nuzzled a path down her neck, she'd forgotten what it was they'd been talking about.

"I have plans for you tonight," he murmured.

A delicious thrill ran up her spine and exploded at her nape. She loved it when he got all mysterious and brooding and sexy.

Then she frowned. If she was pregnant, they'd have to curb some of their sexual activities, wouldn't they? Not that Gray would ever hurt her, but the lash of a crop, a belt, sometimes a flogger ... A dreamy sigh escaped her lips as she imagined him stroking her skin, raising red-hot heat across her body.

No, she couldn't think that way. If she was pregnant, it would only be a temporary restraint on their part. But then she began to imagine sleepless nights, never being alone. No more kneeling in the living room as he fucked her mouth. No more lying over the arm of the couch while he fucked her long and hard.

With a groan, she buried her face in his neck, quivering with nervousness.

"Baby."

The single endearment stroked over her ears, soothing and quieting her worries. She was being selfish. Children meant change, and if she was pregnant, she certainly couldn't escape the inevitable.

She raised her head, disgusted by the sheen of tears hanging in her vision.

"I think it's been five minutes," he said softly.

She started to look over but he caught her chin, forcing her gaze back to him.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "Think we should look now?"

He reached over without looking and snagged the test. His hand covered the result window as he pulled it between them.

"You look," she said.

Slowly, he opened his hand, staring down at the test lying on his palm. When he frowned, her heart dropped.

"What does it say?"

"You're not pregnant," he said softly.

Her eyes widened. Simultaneously relief and, oddly enough, disappointment swamped her. Why was she disappointed?

"That's a good thing, right?" she asked cautiously, still unsure of his reaction. He didn't seem happy.

He stared back down at the test. "Yeah, it's a good thing. We're not ready. You're not ready, honey, and I don't want you to have a baby until we're both sure it's what we want."

"I hear a but in there," she said gently.

He pressed his lips together in a rueful expression. "Would you believe that just for a teeny, tiny moment I was imagining what our baby would look like? Whether it would be a girl who was as gorgeous as her mama, or a boy who was as ornery as his father?"

Her heart ached just a bit too so she knew exactly what he meant. For a little bit she'd actually allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy of what a child would mean. And even though she knew without a doubt they'd escaped a kink in their relationship they didn't need, a part of her was disappointed.

"What it means is that you and I will make wonderful parents when the time comes," she said with a smile.

He cupped her chin and kissed her again. "We'll make a great mom and dad. In five years or so."

She laughed. "Exactly! Now, you and I have a date to go celebrate not being pregnant."

"You know," he said thoughtfully. "I have an even better idea."

"Oh?"

"Let's get married. Tonight."

She gaped at him. "But we can't get married tonight!"

He gave her a sly grin. "We can in Vegas."

A sharp tingle of excitement ran circles around her belly and then climbed up her throat.

"We could call Damon, who has already offered us the use of his jet. We go to Vegas, get married, spend a few days having really great sex and then we come home and move into our dream house."

"Oh, Gray," she breathed. "You really know how to present an argument, don't you?"

"I sure as hell hope so. Is it working?"

She gripped his hands in hers, the test still trapped against his palm.

"I should ask you if you still want to marry me."

"Of course I do. Oh gosh, do you really think we could do such a crazy thing? What about our jobs? I'm not sure Pop could spare us both. And what if Damon can't loan us the jet on such short notice?"

"Then we go book a commercial flight. If all else fails, we get in the truck and we drive. Come on, Faith. Let's get crazy and do it. I'm tired of waiting. I want you as my wife."

"Let me call Pop," she said breathlessly. "If he can spare us then yeah, let's do it."

"Tell you what. You call Damon. I'll call Pop. I'll need to smooth his feathers for upsetting his daughter anyway."

She kissed him exuberantly, letting all her excitement and passion bleed into that one kiss.

"Last one packed is a rotten egg!"

"Hi, Julie. I know you're out with Nathan and didn't want to bug you on your cell, so I thought I'd leave a message here. I'm not pregnant. God, am I relieved. Gray and I are both relieved. I mean, the test said I wasn't."

There was a long pause, and Julie could positively see Faith grappling with the sudden realization that tests weren't completely infallible. She grinned and shook her head.

"These tests are reliable, aren't they? Oh shit. Okay, well, I won't think about that right now. Anyway, I wanted to call to tell you that Gray and I are getting married. Tonight, I mean. We're flying to Vegas to tie the knot and won't be back for several days. Try not to kill Nathan while I'm gone. Give the man a break. He's obviously crazy about you. You and Serena try not to have too much fun without me. We'll catch up when I get back. And hey, thanks for the shoulder today. You're the best."

She made noisy smooching noises and then hung up.

Julie erased the voice mail and put the phone back on the kitchen table. The girl was certifiable. She'd called the wedding off, had a pregnancy scare and had eloped to Vegas all in twenty-four hours. And she had the nerve to call herself boring?

Clearly Julie needed to be taking lessons from her.

It was late, and Julie was tired, but she knew without a doubt she wouldn't go to sleep very easily. Too much occupied her mind, Nathan Tucker being the main distraction.

He'd surprised her tonight. He'd seemed alternately comfortable and ill at ease with her, almost as if she made him nervous. Was that why he'd never made a move before? His shyness was actually pretty endearing.

She had no idea where things were going with Nathan. He'd dropped her off without so much as a kiss good-bye. The tension between them had been palpable, but he must have the restraint of a saint because all he'd done is look at her with those gorgeous green eyes fringed with those too-long lashes. She'd melted into a puddle, and he'd simply told her good night.

She'd been plotting to jump him and drag him into her apartment while he could have been talking about the weather as calmly as he'd handled their farewell.

Maybe he just wasn't interested in her that way. But why go to the trouble of asking her out? Would she ever figure this guy out? He hadn't asked her out again. He hadn't given her the I'll call you line. He hadn't even said See you. Had the date gone that bad?

With an indelicate flop, she landed on the couch. Reclining, she put her head on the back and closed her eyes. Sexual frustration sucked. Men sucked.