Chapter 19

Nathan hurriedly pulled his clothes on, and with one last look at Julie, he left the room behind Micah. The halls were mostly quiet, only the faint sounds coming from the common room filtered down the passageway to where they stood.

"I need to talk to you," Nathan said in a low voice.

"Come downstairs. We can go into Damon s office and have a drink. He won't care.''

Nathan followed him down and through the living room where many people mingled over drinks and appetizers. He didn't see them, though. His thoughts were consumed with Julie and what he needed to tell Micah.

"You seem more bothered tonight," Micah said after he closed the door to the office behind them.

Nathan dragged a hand over his scalp and cupped the back of his head with his palm. "I can't do this again, man."

"Okay," Micah said calmly.

He opened and closed several cabinet doors before finally dragging out a bottle.

"Damon's shit is all too refined," Micah said in disgust. "The man doesn't believe in having a fridge full of beer on hand."

Nathan gave a half-laugh and waited as Micah poured them both drinks. Glancing around at the rich furnishings, he felt vaguely uncomfortable, like an interloper.

Micah handed him a glass. "Have a seat."

Nathan sank into one of the leather seats and had to suppress a sigh of appreciation. He was boneless after the last few hours with Julie. All he really wanted to do was go hunt her down and lay down with her for the next forty-eight hours or so. Sex was entirely optional. He wanted to sleep with her curled in his arms, her sweet body pressed to him in all the right places.

"Now what's bothering you?" Micah asked curiously.

Nathan grimaced and set his drink down on his knee, his hand curled cautiously around it to keep from spilling it on his pants.

"I'm going to come clean with Julie."

Micah arched a brow. "Uh-oh."

Nathan shook his head. "I should have been up-front with her from the beginning. This was a stupid idea and it can only come back to bite me on the ass."

"So if she wants another threesome, you're out?"

"Yeah. I'm not coming here again, and I'm hoping to hell she won't either. I don't like the idea of her being passed around like some piece of meat no one gives a fuck about. She's better than that."

Micah blew out his breath. "Okay, you know I don't agree with your assessment that her being here equates to her being treated like some whore or that the men here wouldn't treat her well. I respect your feelings on the subject, but I don't agree with them. That said, this is your gig, man. I'm only along for the ride. At your request, I might add."

"Yeah, I know. Look, this isn't about me being pissed at you or even Damon. It just doesn't feel right. I care about Julie, and it occurred to me that being here fucking her while she's blindfolded isn't the best way to start a relationship."

Micah snickered. "Bet your mama never accused you of being very bright."

Nathan flipped him the bird. Then he grew more serious. "I fucked up, Micah. This was a stupid idea, one I didn't think through. If I have my way, Julie and I will be seeing a lot more of each other, which means hanging out with our mutual friends. It's going to be awfully damn awkward once she finds out you and I both fucked her."

Micah looked genuinely confused. "I don't get it."

"You're my friend. If Julie's my girl, getting together will be awkward, given the fact you two have fucked."

"Ah."

Micah gave him one of those looks that suggested Nathan was still green. He hated that damn look. He continued to study Nathan for another long moment and then looked away and sighed.

"Look man, what I'm about to tell you goes no further than us. Normally I'd cut my lips off before I'd say anything about either of these women, particularly if there was any chance it would get back to them and embarrass them."

Nathan crooked an eyebrow. Leave it to Micah to get all brooding and mysterious.

"Okay, you've got my attention. Spill."

"I've slept with Faith."

Nathan's jaw dropped. "Faith? Our Faith? Little sister Faith Malone?"

Micah snorted. "If all you see is baby sister when you look at Faith, you need your equipment examined. The girl is Hot with a capital H."

Nathan stared incredulously at him. "You're serious, aren't you? When the hell did you sleep with her? Does Gray know?"

"Considering he was there, yeah."

Nathan blinked owlishly. Ooo-kay. "You mean you and him ..."

Micah nodded. "Yeah, a threesome. Right before Gray was shot and Faith was kidnapped."

"Wow, I'd have never guessed."

"Exactly."

"What are you getting at here?" Nathan asked.

"I've also seen Serena naked," he continued.

"That doesn't really surprise me. About Damon, I mean. He seems to have pretty relaxed standards about that sort of thing," Nathan said dryly.

Micah lifted one eyebrow and stared back at Nathan. "I think you'd be surprised. Damon doesn't share what is his. He's pretty damn primitive when it comes to Serena. It's a long story, but I saw her naked. Touched her even, but it wasn't sexual. I never had sex with her. I was there for a get-together, and he and Serena had a slight misunderstanding. She tried to embarrass him in front of his guests. He punished her for it."

"Whoa, he hurt her?" Nathan asked aghast.

Micah scowled. "Do you think I'd have any part in hurting a woman? Ever? That's not what their relationship is about. I don't expect you to understand it. That's not what I'm getting at anyway."

"What are you getting at then?"

"The point is, I see both women all the time. There isn't any awkwardness because none of us has any reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. Julie is a cool customer. I don't think much would make her tuck tail and run. She might twist your balls up for fucking her on the sly, but if you and her keep seeing one another, you aren't going to have to worry about me and her acting like fourth graders around each other."

"You know how to get to the heart of the matter, don't you," Nathan murmured.

"I understand your reluctance to keep doing it this way," Micah said as he stared down into his drink. "If she was my woman, I wouldn't be hip on her fucking another guy, unless it was at my instigation."

Nathan cocked his head then shook it. "I guess it's just not the turn-on for me that it is for you. It's hot in a porn kind of way but it makes me all itchy and knots me up inside to see another man's hands on her body. I've done it her way. I've given her the fantasy she wanted. But now it's time to do things my way for a while."

Micah chuckled. "Let me know how that works for you. Julie doesn't seem like the type of woman you can easily bring to heel."

Nathan gave him a disgusted look. "I don't want to bring her to heel. I just want to be the only guy in her bed."

"Fair enough. Takes balls to own up to what you've done and be honest. Most guys would keep their mouth shut and hope she never found out."

"I may wish I'd done just that if she tries to remove my balls with a rusty spoon."

"She's one hot woman, Tucker. You're a lucky son of a bitch if you rope her."

Nathan grinned. "Don't I know it. Don't I know it. And hey, Micah. This is awkward as hell for me, but I wanted to say thanks." He almost groaned as the words came out of his mouth. What kind of moron did it make him to be thanking his buddy for fucking his woman? But better it was Micah than some other jerk who had no regard for Julie's pleasure and well-being.

A flirty grin curved Micah's mouth upward and a gleam entered his eye. "Not a problem at all. Remind your girl when the time comes that you've got her hog-tied and under your palm that she owes me one."

"Oh? What does she owe you?"

"Nothing yet. But she will," he added with unrestrained glee. "She definitely will."

Julie stepped into the hallway and paused at the top of the stairs. She should go. Exhaustion whispered in her ear and made her muscles sag like overcooked pasta. But the murmur of voices from the opposing end of the hallway drew her.

She'd never actually been by the common room when it was in use. Damon had given her a tour of the facilities when no one had been around. But he'd told her about it, and her curiosity had been firmly piqued.

Straightening her T-shirt and smoothing her hands down her jeans, she walked quietly down the corridor, blinking as the lighting got stronger.

When she stepped into the doorway, she scanned the room, disappointed that for the most part, everyone seemed to be standing around. There was one couple stuck in a far corner going at it like rabbits, but that seemed to be it. So much for public debauchery.

Then her gaze lighted on a woman in the middle of the room, a woman that every eye was upon. She was completely nude, her long black hair sliding down her back like a veil of silk. Her hands were bound together at the wrists above her head and then tied to a heavy wooden beam that formed an upside down U.

Dear God, it was Serena.

Julie's breath caught in painful anticipation. What the hell was Serena doing here? Well, here and naked. She shouldn't be surprised that Serena was here, given that the place belonged to Damon. But what on earth was going on?

She leaned against the doorframe, hiding most of her body in the hallway. She gripped the frame with her hand and peered around it to see what was happening to Serena.

When she saw Damon approach Serena, her lips pursed and she frowned. He had a ... he had a whip in his hand. Good God, was he going to beat her in front of everyone? What the hell could she possibly have done to deserve this kind of treatment?

She knew that Serena and Damon had a very . . . nontraditional relationship. Nontraditional being a code word for Serena being completely and utterly submissive. The slave to Damon's master.

Julie shuddered at the idea, the implication of what that meant. Complete subjugation to a man. Sometimes she wondered if Serena had rocks in her head. Or if she was just completely and utterly blinded by love. What else could explain why such an intelligent, beautiful woman who could have any man with the snap of her fingers would remain in a relationship where the balance of power was severely tilted in Damon's favor?

Silence fell over the room, and Julie found herself holding her breath as Damon trailed the tip of the crop through Serena's hair. He pushed it over until it hung over her shoulder, baring her slim back for all to see.

He moved methodically. No, he definitely wasn't in a hurry. Julie searched Serena's face for any sign of fear, some sign that she didn't want what was about to happen. All she saw was calm acceptance. And love.

Befuddled and still analyzing the softness she saw around Serena's eyes, she jumped and her hand flew to her mouth when Damon raised the crop and struck Serena across the shoulder.

The sound resonated across the room, shattering the stillness.

Anger rose, sharp and furious, heating her veins. How dare he do this to her? Serena trusted him. She'd given him everything. And this was how he repaid her?

She shoved away from the doorframe, prepared to march across the room and put an end to this. She'd be damned if she stood by and watched her friend be abused this way. Her heart positively ached for Serena.

Before she could do just that, a hand closed around her wrist. She jerked around to see Cole standing there, silent and watching her.

"Watch," he instructed.

She tried to yank her hand away but he held fast.

"You don't understand," Julie hissed. "He's hurting her!"

"Is he? I think it's you who doesn't understand, Julie." He turned her toward Damon and Serena again just in time for her to see Damon bring the crop down across Serena's flesh again. "Watch," he said again.

"Damn you," she whispered furiously.

Unable to look away, she watched helplessly as marks crisscrossed Serena's back, each one placed strategically, with exacting measure.

How could he do such a thing with such love in his eyes? His motions looked almost gentle, which was absurd given the fact that he was beating her for all to see.

Her gaze found Serena's face, soft and illuminated with . . . pleasure? Julie blinked in surprise, sure she wasn't seeing correctly. But yes. Serena's head was thrown back, eyes closed, lips parted as the blows rained down over her back.

She looked, in a word, beautiful. It was a fact not missed by the rest of the room. As Julie looked around, really looked, the mixture of awe and arousal was stunning to see. Women looked upon Serena with envy while men stared with lust glittering in their eyes.

And still Damon continued until the only sound was the rhythmic slap of crop against skin. Even from across the room, Julie could see the welts against the white of Serena's flesh. They glowed like Serena glowed.

Julie's forehead wrinkled as her confusion grew.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Cole said huskily in her ear.

Julie started. She'd forgotten he stood here. Forgotten everything but the sight of Serena stretched beneath Damons crop. Her mouth went dry. What kind of a friend did it make her to agree that Serena was beautiful? Not just beautiful in her normal way because Serena was gorgeous, no doubt. But tonight she shone.

Slowly she turned her face up to Cole. "Why do you find her so beautiful?" It was a question born of genuine curiosity, and Cole seemed to take it as such.

He nodded toward Serena. "See how she trusts him? She's placed herself and her care directly into his hands. She's vulnerable to him and he knows it. Her trust is a powerful thing. More potent than the most powerful aphrodisiac. She knows he'll take care of her."

"Why does he like hurting her?" That more than anything Julie didn't understand. If Damon loved Serena so much, how could he bear to cause her pain?

Cole smiled gently. "If he thought for a moment he was truly hurting her, he'd cut off his arm before allowing it to happen. He loves her, Julie. The deep, bone-wrenching kind that a guy only feels once in his life and that's only if he's damn lucky."

"Then why?"

"Look again," he said patiently. "Look at the pleasure in her eyes. Look at the pleasure in his. Your fantasy revolved around two men to see to your every need. Serena's fantasy is this. Just what you see. How is Damon providing for her any different than your men providing for you?"

She did look, and what she saw was painful. Her eyes opened wide, and the veil lifted away. Serena's fantasy was real. She and Damon weren't playacting. He loved her, and she loved him. How much more powerful, how much more sexy did it make the scene playing out before her?

For the first time she understood Serena's struggle, her fear that her love for Damon was rooted in make-believe. But for anyone watching the reverence in Damon's actions, there was no mistaking the reality of his feelings for Serena.

Julie's own romp between the sheets seemed such a farce now. Nothing like this beautiful display of love and devotion. Julie was hiding behind her blindfold just as surely as Serena was standing in the sun, letting the world see who it was she belonged to.

The power of her revelation weakened her. Hiding. For a woman who prided herself on taking the world by the nuts, this was hard to swallow. Coward. She winced at the word.

"I can't do this again," she said in a low voice.

Cole cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes curious. "Does it upset you so much to see Serena worshipped by the man she loves?"

Julie laughed huskily, ashamed of the tears that swelled in her throat. Worshipped. What an apt word. That's precisely what Damon was doing.

"No, not now that you've explained it. Now that I've seen it and understand. She's very lucky."

The wistfulness in her voice made her cringe, but calling it back would have been impossible when every piece of her yearned to be looked at like Damon looked at Serena.

"What is it you can't do then?"

She met his gaze and wondered if he would ever look at her the way Damon saw Serena. No, he wanted her. Even desired her. But he didn't see her. And now it seemed so important that a man look at her with everything in his eyes.

God, she was losing her mind. She didn't want a relationship. She didn't want promises of forever. Words were so damn cheap. But she wanted that look. She would die for that look and never ask for anything else.

'I've been playing games," she said ruefully. "It's what I do best."

Cole moved closer, touching her cheek with gentle fingers.

"There's nothing wrong with games, Julie. Not everything has to be about love and commitment."

She laughed. "Two hours ago that would have been music to my ears. Who knows, maybe when I wake up in the morning and kick my ass around a bit, it'll sound wonderful again. But tonight ..." She sighed. "Will you do me a favor and let Damon know that I won't be back? I'll call and thank him later. He's truly the best. Serena is one lucky bitch."

Her gaze went back to the center of the room to see Damon's hands gliding over the marks on Serena's skin. His lips followed a similar path. She swallowed against a dry tongue when Damon unfastened his pants and moved behind Serena. God, he was going to make love to her in front of everyone else.

Cole remained silent next to her as they watched. There was no discomfort evident to Serena or Damon. No, they were focused solely on each other. The rest of the world didn't exist for them.

Serena arched against her bonds as Damon grasped her hips and guided his erect cock into her depths. Julie tried to look away. She shouldn't be watching. This was her friend. Their lovemaking should be a private matter. But she couldn't tear herself away from the beauty of the two people allowing their love to shine over the entire room.

A knot formed in her throat. Tears shimmered in her vision. Never had she been so affected by sex. But no, this wasn't just sex. Sex was a paltry word to describe what was before her. Beautiful. Magnificent. Soul stirring. As long as she lived, Julie would never forget this night and what seeing Damon and Serena had done to her on a primitive level. Later she would marvel at how much they had changed her outlook, her own desires and needs.

Damon held Serena, lifting her so that her weight wasn't born by the ropes securing her wrists to the wooden beam. His movements weren't entirely gentle, in fact he made love to her almost brutally, and yet his love for her was so obvious in each touch, the gentle caresses intermixed with the savagery of his thrusts.

The combination aroused Julie. A hot flush pooled in her belly and spread outward until her face flamed. Her nipples thrust outward, beading and straining. Hot, kinky sex was something she'd fantasized about, something she'd gone to great lengths to make happen, and it had been good, but how much better would it be to have a man make love to you with absolute devotion, to know he loved you more than life itself?

She shook her head mutely as if by doing so she could deny that she wanted—no, needed—such a thing from a man.

Damon lowered his head to press a kiss to the middle of her back. Such a simple gesture and yet Julie felt that kiss to her soul. Never again would she poke fun at Serena for her relationship choices. How could she, when Serena held in her hand something that Julie could never hope to find? Who was better off? Julie who flitted from stranger to stranger to avoid messy emotional entanglements or Serena who was loved and cherished to her very core?

He continued to thrust against Serena's hips, their bodies shaking with the force of his entry. And then he pulled away, his cock bobbing as it came free. He closed his hand around the base and jerked up and down, aiming at Serena's skin.

Julie watched in absorbed fascination as jets of Damon's semen erupted, splashing onto Serena's back, vivid against the rosy blush of the welts.

"He's marking her," Julie whispered in surprised realization.

Dear God, how primitive. How abso-freaking-lutely hot. What the hell was wrong with her that she went positively liquid inside at the idea of being marked by a man?

"Yes, he is," Cole said quietly. "He's showing the world that she's his, that she belongs to him. The marks from the crop are his. Her body is his. He comes on her to honor her. What might seem insulting to others, demeaning even, is hardly that to Damon."

Cole was right. Under any other circumstances, her feminine sensibilities would be screaming in outrage. Damon's public marking would be seen by many to be degrading, like Serena was some nameless, faceless object of his lust.

But all Julie could think was how beautiful and poignant the scene before her was. How sexy it was for this man to proclaim publicly that he loved this woman. Damon didn't know it yet, but he'd just gained a staunch ally in Julie. Never again would she question whether he was right for Serena.

"I should go," she said. "I don't want Serena to see me. It might make her uncomfortable. I feel like an intruder here, like I snuck over a no trespassing sign to watch a sunrise on a private beach."

"I know what you mean. The first time I saw Serena was here, Damon asked me to prepare her. Touching her . . ."

"You touched her?" Julie asked sharply.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, much like I touched you. Does that bother you?"

She shook her head. "No, it just seems you have the worst job. Look but don't touch, or rather, don't touch too much. Tell me, is that all you do here? Prepare women to be another man's pleasure for the evening?"

Cole looked startled by her question. A rueful awareness settled into his eyes. "This isn't my job. I mean, I don't draw a salary here. I'm not comfortable with that thought. Damon trusts me. I was honored by his request to ready Serena, and then you."

"So you do have your share of women here," she drawled.

Slowly he shook his head. "No, I wouldn't say that either. I'm rather discerning, or so I'd like to think. I see a lot of beautiful women. Beautiful, willing women."

"Then what's the problem?" she asked softly. "Why do you have the look of a man who's very much alone?"

His smile looked more like a grimace. "Why do you have the look of a woman who's very much alone after a night with the sexual attentions of two men?"

"Touché. I'll take that as my cue to mind my own business," she said with a grin.

He wrinkled his nose. "I apologize if that's the way you took it. I get rather defensive when I feel I'm cornered."

"Don't we all?" She looked back to where Damon was carefully untying Serena. The rest of the room was slowly going their own way again. "I need to go. Thanks, Cole. For everything. I mean that. Tonight was ... eye-opening."

He reached down for her hand and squeezed. "You're welcome. It was my pleasure. Are you sure you won't be back? Even to see me?"

She smiled a little sadly. "Last week I would have not only taken you up on that offer, but I would have taken you into one of these rooms and done my best to make you forget every other woman you've ever had or hope to have in the future."

"And why not now?" he asked with a sparkle of amusement.

She glanced back one more time to where Damon and Serena stood. "Because now I want someone to look at me the way he looks at her." She looked back at Cole whose wry look told her he understood exactly what she was saying. "You want me. You find me attractive, but you'll never look at me that way and we both know it."

"Does it make any difference for me to tell you that if I could look at any woman that way, I'd want it to be you?"

She laid her palm against his cheek. "You're very sweet, Cole. And you'll look at her that way. One day."

He caught her hand when she would have pulled it away and kissed her open palm. "It was truly my pleasure to look after you these two nights, Julie. If there is ever anything you want or need, you have only to contact me. I'll see to it you get it."

She rose up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "Good night, Cole."

Not looking back, she hurried toward the stairs, feeling his intense gaze the entire way.

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