The Pregnancy Bond

CHAPTER SEVEN

CARL had spoken truly when he called himself an expert on pregnancy and babies. At college he would often join Kelly for lunch and observe her intake with an experienced eye, sometimes advising her to ‘eat more fibre’. They had long talks about her condition, heads close together in their enthusiasm, and Kelly realised that the college was speculating about them, for Carl had devastating film-star looks. But he was merely showing her the kindness and support of a brother, and she valued him for that.

Occasionally he would drive her home, carrying her books up and coming in for tea. Sometimes Jake would join them, but more often he would retreat to his room. And he never, ever mentioned Carl when he and Kelly were alone.

Another thought that neither of them voiced was that Kelly’s pregnancy was well into its fourth month, nearing the time when she’d lost the last baby. As the weeks passed the silence seemed to grow more deafening. Sometimes, she thought, it was like living with an extra presence that had parked itself in the centre of the apartment. They dodged around it, and otherwise pretended not to know it was there.

Her first thought, on waking, was to listen to her body, checking for any unusual twinge. Only when she felt nothing wrong could she relax and start the day.

Jake’s health too was giving cause for cheer. As his strength returned he began to venture out to the local shops, or he would stroll in the little park close to Kelly’s apartment. Now and then she came with him, and they would walk together, arms linked, but saying little. Kelly always thought of herself as supporting Jake, and it amused her one evening to discover that he thought of himself as the support.

‘It’s going to be a while before I need propping up,’ she laughed, settling on a park bench.

‘Just taking care.’

‘I’m feeling very well. And I’m not worried, honestly.’

After a moment he said, ‘You’re lying. You’re scared.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because you’re not knitting things. Last time you started knitting from the first day. The place was awash with needles and patterns.’

She smiled. ‘You used to say you couldn’t move without tangling your feet in white wool.’

‘Yes, but I liked it too. And all the soft toys you bought. I’ll never forget the day you finished your first pair of bootees. You were so proud.’

‘Until I discovered that I’d gone cross-eyed on the pattern and made the second one two sizes larger than the first.’

‘Then you burst into tears and couldn’t stop for hours. I didn’t know what to do.’

‘You were very practical,’ she remembered. ‘You said all I had to do was knit two more the same, put the two small ones together as the first pair, and keep the other pair for later. It was a very good suggestion. I don’t know what made me thump you with that toy giraffe.’

‘You didn’t.’

‘I did.’

‘You did not thump me with a toy giraffe,’ Jake said firmly.

‘Jake, I clearly remember-’

‘It was a toy elephant. His name was Dolph, short for Dolphin.’

‘Why did we call him Dolphin?’

‘Because he was an elephant,’ Jake explained patiently.

‘Well, I guess that figures. But I’m sure a giraffe came into it somewhere.’

‘Now you’re just confusing things,’ he said severely. ‘It was definitely Dolph the elephant. I know because I-because its trunk was always wonky after that.’

She barely registered his verbal stumble as they laughed together. Then Kelly said firmly, ‘It’ll be all right this time. Carl says one of his sisters miscarried the first time, then went on to have three healthy babies.’

His smile faded. ‘You talk to Carl about this?’

Something tense in his voice made her bristle. ‘Any reason why not?’

‘No, no,’ he said quickly. ‘It just seems odd, talking babies with your professor.’

She would have explained about Carl’s family and all his baby sitting experience, but Jake suddenly said, ‘Maybe it’s time we went home.’ And the moment was gone.

One day Kelly arrived home early from college. Jake was in his room, but appeared as soon as he heard her. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked quickly.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Why shouldn’t I be?’

‘Because you’re not usually home at this time?’

‘There were no lectures for the rest of today.’

‘And that’s all?’

The worry on his face touched her. ‘Jake, it’s all right. There’s no sign of a miscarriage.’

‘But it would be about now, wouldn’t it? After all-’ Jake’s words ran down. There was no way of asking exactly how pregnant she was. If the baby had been conceived on the night of the party, she was approaching the crucial time. By tortuous argument he’d half convinced himself that the child was his, but she had never confirmed it, and he was too proud to demand a straight answer.

She might already have been pregnant that night, and now be already past the danger point. But would she have allowed him into her bed if there was another man? He knew she’d changed, but that much? The thought gave him a strange pain over his heart.

‘I wouldn’t like you to suffer again,’ he said harshly. ‘That’s all. No need to make a fuss about it.’

‘No,’ she agreed. ‘I’m fine. Shall I get you something to eat?’

‘I’ll get it. Why don’t you lie down for a while?’

‘OK, I’ll lie on the sofa for a few minutes. Thank you.’

It really was pleasant to stretch out and be waited on, although she was feeling well and strong. She closed her eyes and listened to the little sounds Jake made in the kitchen. She grew dozy, and was barely conscious of his muttered, ‘Damn! No milk!’, followed by the front door opening and closing. She might have completely sunk into sleep but for the shrilling of Jake’s mobile phone. Yawning, she answered it and found herself talking to Olympia.

‘I’m afraid Jake isn’t here at the moment,’ she said pleasantly. ‘Can I get him to call you back?’

‘No need for that. Just to confirm about tonight, eight-thirty at my apartment. Can you remember that?’

‘I’ll try,’ Kelly said humbly. ‘If I have difficulty I could always write it down, couldn’t I?’

Olympia snorted and hung up.

When Jake returned with milk a few moments later Kelly was at the table unpacking her books. ‘Don’t forget you have a date with Olympia tonight,’ she said.

‘Have I?’

‘She called to remind you that it’s eight-thirty at her apartment.’

Jake stared. ‘I never made any arrangement with her for tonight.’

‘Well, you seem to have one now.’

‘You had no right to make a date for me,’ he said, outraged.

‘From the way she spoke I thought it was all fixed.’ A tiny inspired devil made Kelly add, ‘She was very concerned about your welfare. Kept asking me if you’d recovered all your strength yet.’ She added casually, ‘I told her I thought you probably had, although I couldn’t swear to it.’

‘You made that up.’

She looked at him. ‘Sure of that?’

‘Kelly, believe me I’ll wring your neck one of these days.’

‘What are you getting worked up about? It doesn’t matter to me any more. We’re both free agents.’

He resisted the temptation to burst out, You’re having my baby. You ought to mind, not sit there calmly making assignations for me!

But he stayed silent. What could he say?

After a while he said grumpily, ‘I’m not going out. Something might happen.’

‘Why should it? I’ve been well all day.’

‘At college, surrounded by people to watch out for you. I’m not leaving you alone.’

‘You just did.’

‘That was ten minutes to get some milk. I’m talking about your being alone for hours.’

‘You’re being absurd, you know that?’

‘I’m not going out!’

‘All right, all right. You don’t need to shout.’

‘I do need to shout, Kelly, because if I don’t shout you don’t hear.’

Her temper flared. ‘That’s rich, coming from the man who turned creative deafness into an art.’

‘I’m not arguing. I’ll just call Olympia back and put her off, and then the subject’s closed.’

‘Who says it’s closed?’ He didn’t answer. ‘Jake!’

‘I can’t hear you. I’ve gone creatively deaf. Remember, you’re dealing with the man who turned it into an art.’

She fumed while he made the call. She wasn’t sure why she’d suddenly got mad. Perhaps she was trying to deny the pleasure that had caught her off guard at his protectiveness. Enough! It was too late for that. Anger was safer.

Jake made an exasperated sound. ‘She’s turned her mobile off,’ he grunted. ‘Never mind, she’ll be at the studio.’ He called the studio and gave Olympia’s name.

After an impatient pause he said, ‘Do you know where she went?-all right, if she calls in, ask her to contact me urgently. Say there’s a problem about tonight.’

‘I wish you’d go,’ Kelly said, following him into the kitchen. ‘I’ve got an essay about ancient Egypt, and you’ll be in the way.’

‘I’ll be as quiet as a mouse. Anyway, I can’t go out now that I’ve cancelled.’

‘You haven’t cancelled. You never reached Olympia.’

‘She’ll understand as soon as she gets that message.’

‘I don’t think she will get it.’

‘Nonsense. Why shouldn’t she?’

Because she doesn’t want to get it, Kelly thought, exasperated. Were all men this thick? Why do you think she switched her mobile off?

But she judged it wiser to stay silent. She could be wrong. Olympia might be an honest woman, sincerely in love with Jake, wanting only what was best for him.

And pigs might fly!

As the minutes slipped by he kept looking at his watch, growing impatient. The phone stayed silent.

‘Go!’ Kelly said at last. ‘I have an essay to write, and you’re driving me nuts.’

‘I’m not doing anything.’

‘You’re hovering.’

‘Well, pardon me for breathing.’

‘I don’t mind your breathing, it’s your hovering I can’t take. Now for pity’s sake get dressed, go out, do whatever it takes to make Olympia happy.’

‘That’s a thoroughly immoral suggestion!’

‘I meant buy her dinner,’ Kelly said innocently.

‘I’m not leaving you alone.’

‘If I need company there’s always Carl.’

Jake’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why Carl?’

‘He’s a good friend.’

‘That wouldn’t be why you want to get rid of me?’

She tore her hair. ‘I want to get rid of you because you’re acting like a broody hen! Now will you please keep quiet and leave me with Tutankhamun?’

‘All right, all right. Don’t get agitated, it’s bad for the baby.’

For an hour there was peace of a kind. Jake never spoke, but she was aware of him rustling in the background. It was a relief when the telephone rang. Something about the shrill told Kelly that it was Olympia, and she wasn’t pleased.

‘I tried to get back to you,’ Jake explained. ‘I hoped you’d have my message that there was a problem about tonight… No, I’m not ill, it’s Kelly…’

With a swift movement Kelly whisked the phone out of his hand. ‘Olympia,’ she said graciously, ‘I’m sorry to have spoiled your evening. Why don’t you come to my place? I’ll be going out soon.’

‘The hell you will!’ Jake growled.

‘The hell I won’t!’ she replied firmly.

‘If Carl wants to see you he can come here.’

‘What a great idea! Jake, you’re a genius.’

‘Are you still there?’ came Olympia’s chilly voice down the line. Being sidelined wasn’t what she was used to.

‘Of course,’ Kelly told her. ‘I’ll tell Jake you’re coming over. He’s so looking forward to seeing you.’ She hung up and immediately dialled Carl’s number.

‘You said I could talk to you whenever I wanted,’ she reminded him.

In a few minutes he was on his way and Jake was fulminating.

‘What’s your game, Kelly?’

‘I just thought you’d like a pleasant evening with your girlfriend.’

‘Here? In a jolly foursome with you and Carl?’

‘We’ll go out and leave you two alone. Don’t worry, I won’t cramp your style.’

‘Maybe I don’t want you to leave me alone with Olympia.’

‘Why? Have you quarrelled?’

‘No, but-’

‘I’m just trying to be a good friend.’

‘Yeah,’ he said grumpily. ‘Sure.’

From there the evening went downhill. Olympia arrived half an hour later, done up to the nines. Kelly greeted her amiably before saying, ‘You won’t mind if I leave you? I have to work.’ To Jake she mouthed, ‘Take her out.’

‘No,’ he mouthed back.

Kelly groaned and vanished into her room.

Instantly Olympia’s arms were around Jake’s neck. ‘I think you’re a positive saint,’ she murmured against his mouth.

He disengaged himself gently, with a significant glance at Kelly’s door.

‘You’re right,’ Olympia said with a sigh. ‘My poor dear, it must be very hard for you.’

‘It’s harder for Kelly,’ Jake said stubbornly. ‘Fancy getting stuck with me again when she thought she was rid of me for good.’

Olympia’s face showed what she thought of this, but she let the matter drop and instead began to question him about his health.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ he said hastily. ‘It’s just that I don’t seem able to get it all together. My stomach still reacts badly to some foods.’

What he didn’t tell her was how he would awaken feeling full of beans and ready to return to normal life, only to find his strength draining away around noon. ‘Like a bath when the plug’s been pulled,’ was how he’d expressed it to Kelly, but he said not a word to Olympia. She wasn’t the sort of woman to whom a man could confide weakness.

With relief he managed to discourage her from this interrogation, but worse was to come. When Kelly emerged from her room Olympia started again on her, demanding full details of Jake’s life and treatment. The subject of this concern became uneasy, then embarrassed, but Kelly answered everything serenely, even managing a laugh as she said, ‘Please don’t worry, Olympia. I promise you I’m taking good care of him. Anyone would think you were his mother, to be so concerned.’

Olympia was too wise to answer this, but Jake gave Kelly a quick, appraising glance.

The ring of the doorbell prevented matters getting any more awkward. Carl breezed in, impossibly handsome, smiling, pulling Kelly into his arms for a hug. Laughing, she hugged him back.

‘Who’s that?’ Olympia muttered.

‘That is Professor Carl Franton,’ Jake muttered, emphasising ‘Professor’ edgily. ‘From Kelly’s college.’

‘Is he the father of-?’

‘Very possibly.’

‘Then why-?’

‘Not now, Olympia. I don’t meddle with Kelly’s private life.’

‘But shouldn’t he-?’

‘I said not now.’

‘All right. Let’s talk about us and what we’re going to do together. I have so many plans-’

Jake tried to concentrate on what she was saying, but it was hard when he was straining to hear the other two. Carl had brought a baby book with him, and he and Kelly were going through it together, exclaiming and laughing. But when Carl spoke seriously he lowered his voice, which struck Jake as a dirty trick.

‘Jake.’ Olympia touched his arm.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I asked if you were thinking of new projects.’

‘I’ve been working out ideas,’ he said lamely.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kelly go into the kitchen, and he made an excuse to Olympia.

‘What’s up with you?’ Kelly demanded as he appeared in the kitchen. ‘You’ve been sitting there looking all struck of a heap. You can’t treat Olympia like that. She’s important to your career.’

‘Well, maybe my career doesn’t depend on her.’

‘I just meant don’t close off your options. Lighten up, Jake. We can’t spend the whole evening like this.’

‘May I remind you that this cosy little gathering was your idea? And not one of your better ones.’

‘Stop getting agitated. It’s not good for you.’

‘And stop telling me what to do.’

‘Just part of my duties.’ She couldn’t resist adding, ‘I’m sure Anne of Cleves never had this much trouble with Henry VIII.’

‘If she was anything like you I’m surprised he didn’t behead her along with the others,’ he snapped.

Kelly sniffed pathetically. ‘That’s a nice thing to say when I’m doing my best for you.’

‘Hell, Kelly, it was only a joke! All right, it was a lousy one and I’m sorry. Don’t cry-you’re bound to be a bit sensitive just now-it’s part of being pregnant, but I’m sorry.’ Desperately he put his arms about her. ‘Don’t cry. Please, please don’t cry.’

‘Oh, get along with you, of course I’m not crying.’

‘What?’

Her face was completely dry and her eyes full of mischief. ‘Fooled you, though, didn’t I?’

‘Kelly, I swear I’ll-’

‘You’ll what? Remember my delicate condition.’

He grinned reluctantly. ‘You’re the most maddening woman!’

‘Tonight was a mistake,’ she admitted. ‘Why don’t you suggest going out for a drink?’

‘Great idea. Leave it to me.’

Carl, coming to find Kelly, was firmly detained in the doorway by Jake’s hand. ‘We’re all going out for a drink,’ he announced. ‘I’m shut up here far too much. It’ll do me good to get out.’

Olympia agreed to this with relief. Jake helped her on with her coat and had reached into the wardrobe’s for Kelly’s jacket before he realised that she was no longer with him.

Investigation revealed her to be still in the kitchen with Carl, deep in argument.

‘No, no, you’ve got it all wrong,’ Carl was saying. ‘I keep telling you this in class but you never believe me. The pyramids-’

Jake coughed from the doorway. ‘Are you two coming?’ he asked coldly.

‘Sure.’ Carl beamed goodwill. ‘You know, this wife of yours has gotten a bee in her bonnet-’

‘She’s not my wife,’ Jake declared in a flat voice.

Carl beamed at Kelly. ‘That’s right, you’re not,’ he said, with such a pleased inflection that Jake nearly knocked him down on the spot.

‘Sorry,’ Kelly said. ‘When we get arguing we never know when to stop.’

‘How delightful,’ Olympia said, appearing beside Jake. ‘How you must enjoy your talks! Why don’t we go on ahead? You can join us when you’ve decided about the pyramids.’

‘What a good idea!’ Kelly exclaimed, with more eagerness than Jake thought was proper.

‘Better if we all go together,’ he tried to insist.

‘But I’m not ready, and Carl wants a cup of tea first. You go on. We’ll catch up.’

‘We’ll be in the Red Lion,’ he growled.

He opened the door to Olympia with a gallant flourish and stood back to let her pass. He glanced back at Kelly and Carl, who were already sitting together on the sofa, riffling through a book. Nothing could have been more innocent, and nothing could have annoyed him more.

The Red Lion was a small pub two streets away. It was cheerful but slightly shabby, and not at all what Olympia was used to. Jake managed to find them a table in the corner, not too close to the piped music, which made her wince.

‘Do you realise this is the first time we’ve been together outside that apartment?’ she asked meltingly.

‘What was that?’ Jake cupped his ear.

She repeated the words, but at a volume that robbed them of their cooing quality and made them sound like a nag.

‘What a delightful place this is,’ she tried again. ‘Not sophisticated but-full of character.’

‘I never was sophisticated,’ Jake said. ‘In some of the places I’ve knocked around this would be luxury. It suits me.’

‘But don’t you remember Paris-the night we had dinner together at that restaurant in the Eiffel Tower? That was a special time, wasn’t it?’

He felt awkward. He’d felt awkward then, he remembered.

‘And afterwards you came to my room,’ she reminded him.

‘And got too drunk to go through with it.’

‘But I honoured you for that. You were a married man, and you took it seriously. But now-’ She touched his hand and smiled into his eyes. ‘Now it’s different.’

‘Yes, a lot of things are different,’ he agreed sombrely, taking a surreptitious look at his watch. Where was Kelly?

A burst of loud music made Olympia wince. ‘Do we have to stay here?’ she said, looking around her with distaste. ‘I’m sure there are nicer places.’

‘I told Kelly we’d be here,’ Jake said stubbornly. ‘I don’t want her to turn up and find us gone.’

‘Oh, darling,’ Olympia squeezed his hand. ‘You don’t really think they’re coming, do you?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well-people can get very deeply involved in discussing-the pyramids. And let’s face it, there’s a lot they can’t say with you around.’

‘But it was Kelly who-’ he stopped.

‘Kelly who suggested the drink, and then backed out when you were committed?’ Olympia asked quizzically.

‘Yes, dammit!’ he snapped.

‘You can’t really blame her. She’s in a very equivocal position between you and Carl.’

‘What do you mean, equivocal?’

‘Well, why isn’t she living with him? They’re obviously very close, and you say he’s the father-’

‘I said he might be.’

‘Are there any other candidates?’

Without warning a pit had appeared at his feet. Hell would freeze over before he admitted to Olympia that after backing away from her bed he’d slept with his ex-wife, possibly fathered her child, but didn’t know because she was keeping him emotionally at arm’s length.

‘I told you once to leave this,’ he said firmly. ‘Kelly and I are like brother and sister. There are questions I don’t ask her because the answers are none of my business.’

Like, did she fool me into going out so that she could be alone with Carl? A husband could ask, but how can I?

The conversation limped along for another half an hour before he could decently put her into a cab and bid her goodnight. Olympia kissed him tenderly, as if to say that she understood. He only wished he understood it himself.

The lights were on when he reached the apartment, but there was no sign of life. Then Jake heard the murmur of voices coming from behind Kelly’s closed bedroom door. Kelly murmuring, Carl in response, then a soft, feminine laugh that made the hair stand up on the back of Jake’s neck.

‘That’s lovely,’ he heard her say. ‘Oh, yes, I like that.’

Then Carl, ‘As long as you’re pleased, Kelly. That’s the main thing. This is half the fun of parenthood.’

Jake stood very still, hoping for something more that would explain what he’d heard, but the voices dropped to murmurs. He waited there for a long while, before a sense that his behaviour was undignified drove him to bed. He lay listening for Carl’s departure until, despite his determination not to, he fell asleep.