The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever

Chapter 16

Rosedale was, by aristocratic standards, of modest proportions. The warm and elegant home had been in the Bevelstoke family for several generations, and it was customary for the eldest son to use it as his country home before he ascended to the earldom and the much grander Haverbreaks. Turner loved Rosedale, loved its plain stone walls and crenellated roofs. And most of all, he loved the wild landscape, domesticated only by the hundreds of roses that had been planted with wild abandon around the house.

They arrived fairly late at night, having stopped for a leisurely lunch near the border. Miranda had long since fallen asleep- she'd warned him that the motion of a carriage always made her drowsy- but Turner did not mind. He liked the quiet of the night, with only the sounds of the horses and the carriage and the wind in the air. He liked the moonlight, drifting in through the windows. And he liked glancing down at his new wife, who was not at all elegant in her sleep- her mouth was open, and truth be told, she snored just a bit. But he liked that. He didn't know why he liked it, but he did.

And he liked knowing it.

He hopped down from the carriage, placed one finger on his lips when one of the outriders approached to help, then reached back in and scooped Miranda into his arms. She had never been to Rosedale, even though it was not so far from the Lakes. He hoped she would grow to love it as he did. He thought she would. He knew her well, he was beginning to realize. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but he could look at something and think, Miranda would like that.

Turner had stopped here on his way up to Scotland, and the servants had been instructed to have the house ready. It was, although he had not sent word of their exact arrival, and so the staff had not been assembled for an introduction to the new viscountess. Turner was glad for that; he wouldn't have wanted to wake Miranda up.

When he made his way inside his bedchamber, he noticed thankfully that a fire was burning in the hearth. It might have been August, but the Northumberland nights held a distinctive chill. As he set Miranda softly down on the bed, a pair of footmen brought in their meager luggage. Turner whispered to the butler that his new wife could meet the staff in the morning, or perhaps later in the day, and then shut the door.

Miranda, who had gone from snoring to restless mumbling, shifted position and hugged a pillow to her chest. Turner returned to her side and shushed softly in her ear. She seemed to recognize his voice in her sleep; she let out a contented sigh and immediately rolled over.

"No sleep just yet," he murmured. "Let's get you out of these clothes." She was lying on her side, so he went to work on the buttons marching down her back. "Can you sit up for just a moment? So I can remove your dress?"

Like a sleepy child, she allowed herself to be pulled into a sitting position. "Where are we?" she yawned, not quite awake.

"Rosedale. Your new home." He wiggled her skirts up past her hips so that he could pull them over her head.

"Oh. It's nice." She flopped back down on the bed.

He smiled indulgently and nudged her back up. "Just another few seconds." With one deft motion, he pulled her dress over her head, leaving her clad in her chemise.

"Good," Miranda murmured, trying to crawl under the covers.

"Not so fast." He caught hold of her ankle. "We don't sleep with clothing here." The chemise joined her gown on the floor. Miranda, barely realizing that she was nude, finally made it under the bedclothes, sighed in utter contentment, and promptly fell asleep.

Turner chuckled and shook his head as he watched his wife. Had he noticed before that her eyelashes were so long? Perhaps it was just the candlelight. He, too, was tired, so he stripped off his clothing in quick, efficient movements and crawled into bed. She was lying on her side, curled up like a child, so he snaked an arm around her and pulled her to the center of the bed, where he could cuddle up against her warmth. Her skin was unbearably soft, and he idly stroked his hand against her midriff. Something he touched must have tickled her, for she let out a soft squeal and rolled over.

"Everything is going to be just fine," he whispered. They had affection and they had attraction, and that was more than most couples. He leaned forward to kiss her sleepy mouth, tracing its outline lightly with his tongue.

Her eyelids fluttered open.

"You must be Sleeping Beauty," he murmured. "Awakened by a kiss."

"Where are we?" she asked, her voice groggy.

"At Rosedale. You asked me that already."

"Did I? I don't remember."

Quite unable to help himself, he leaned forward and kissed her again. "Ah, Miranda, you're very sweet."

She let out a small sigh of contentment at his kiss, but it was obvious that she was having trouble keeping her eyelids open. "Turner?"

"Yes, puss?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

"I'm sorry. I just can't…that is, I'm so tired." She yawned. "Can't do my duty."

He smiled wryly as he pulled her into his arms. "Shhh," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her temple. "Don't think of it as a duty. It's far too splendid for that. And I'm not such a cad as to force myself on a woman who is exhausted. We have plenty of time. Don't worry."

But she was already asleep.

He brushed his lips against her hair. "We have an entire lifetime."

Miranda woke first the next morning, letting out a great big yawn as she opened her eyes. Daylight was peeking in around the curtains, but it definitely wasn't the sun that was causing her bed to be so cozy and warm. Turner's arm had been thrown over her waist at some point during the night, and she was curled up against him. Lord, but the man radiated heat.

She scooted around to allow herself a better view of him while he slept. His face always held a boyish appeal, but in slumber the effect was exaggerated. He looked a perfect angel, without a trace of the cynicism that sometimes clouded his eyes.

"We have Leticia to thank for that," Miranda murmured softly, touching his cheek.

He stirred, mumbling something in his sleep.

"Not yet, my love," she whispered, feeling brave enough to use endearments when she knew he could not hear her. "I like to watch you sleep."

Turner slept, and she listened to him breathe.

It was heaven.

Eventually he stirred, his body stretching its way awake before his eyelids lifted. And then there he was, watching her with sleepy eyes, smiling.

"Morning," he said groggily.

"Good morning."

He yawned. "Have you been awake long?"

"Just a little while."

"Are you hungry? I could have some breakfast sent up."

She shook her head.

He yawned again and then smiled at her. "You're very pink in the morning."

"Pink?" She couldn't help but be intrigued.

"Mmm-hmm. Your skin…it glows."

"It does not."

"It does. Trust me."

"My mother always told me to be suspicious of men who said, 'Trust me.'"

"Yes, well, your mother never knew me very well," he said offhandedly. He touched her lips with his index finger. "These are pink, too."

"Are they?" she asked in a breathy voice.

"Mmm-hmm. Very pink. But not, I think, as pink as some other parts of you."

Miranda turned positively scarlet.

"These, for example," he murmured, grazing his palms over her nipples. His hand stole back up and tenderly cupped her cheek. "You were very tired last night."

"Yes, I was."

"Much too tired to attend to some important business."

She swallowed nervously, trying not to let out a little moan as his hand trailed softly up her back.

"I think it's time we consummated this marriage," he murmured, his lips warm and wicked at her ear. And then he pulled her against him, and she realized just how soon he wanted to take care of the matter.

Miranda gave him a smile full of humor-tinged reproof. "We took care of that quite some time ago. A trifle prematurely, if you recall."

"Doesn't count," he said blithely, waving off her comment. "We weren't married."

"If it didn't count, we wouldn't be married."

Turner acknowledged her point with a rakish smile. "Ah, well, I suppose you're right. But everything worked out in the end. You can hardly be upset with me for being so tremendously virile."

Miranda might have been fairly innocent, but she knew enough to roll her eyes at that. She could not remark, however, as his hand had moved to her breast, and he was doing something to the tip that she could swear she felt between her legs.

She felt herself sliding, slipping off the pillow and onto her back, and she felt herself sliding on the inside, too, as his every touch seemed to melt another inch of her body. He kissed her breasts, her stomach, her legs. There seemed to be no part of her that did not interest him. Miranda didn't know what to do. She lay on her back beneath his exploring hands and mouth, squirming and moaning whenever the sensations began to overwhelm her.

"Do you like that?" Turner murmured as he inspected the back of her knee with his lips.

"I like everything," she gasped.

He moved back up to her mouth and dropped a quick kiss onto it. "I cannot tell you how much it pleases me to hear you say that."

"This can't be proper."

He grinned. "No less so than what I did to you in the carriage."

She flushed at the memory, then bit her lip to keep from asking him to do it again.

But he read her mind, or at least her face, and he let out a purr of pleasure as he kissed his way down the length of her body to her womanhood. His lips touched first the inside of one thigh, then the other.

"Oh, yes," she sighed, beyond embarrassment now. She didn't care if it made her a brazen hussy. She just wanted the pleasure.

"So sweet," he murmured, and he placed one of his hands on her soft tuft of hair and opened her even more. His hot breath touched her skin, and her legs tensed, even though she knew she wanted this. "No, no, no," he said, amusement in his voice as he gently pried her apart. And then he leaned down and kissed that most sensitive nub of flesh.

Miranda, quite unable to say anything coherent, squealed from the sheer sensation of his kisses. Was it pleasure or pain? She wasn't certain. Her hands, which had been balled into fists at her sides, flew down to Turner's head and planted themselves in his hair. When her hips began to writhe beneath him, he made a move as if to get up, but her hands held his head firmly in place. He finally eased his way from her grasp and moved back up her body until his lips were on level with hers. "I thought you weren't going to let me up for air," he murmured.

Miranda didn't think it possible in her position, but she blushed.

He nibbled on her ear. "Did you like that?"

She nodded, unable to voice the words.

"There are many, many things for you to learn."

"Could I…?" Oh, how to ask it?

He smiled indulgently at her. "Could you what?"

She swallowed down her embarrassment. "Could I touch you?"

In response, he took her hand and guided it down his body. When they reached his manhood, her hand jerked back reflexively. It was much hotter than she'd expected, and much, much harder. Turner patiently moved her hand back to him, and this time she made a few tentative strokes, marveling at how soft the skin was. "It's so different," she marveled. "So very odd."

He chuckled, partly because that was the only way he could contain the desire that was racing through him. "It's never seemed odd to me."

"I want to see it."

"Oh, God, Miranda." This, between clenched teeth.

"No, I do." She pushed down the covers until he was bared to her eyes. "Oh, my goodness," she breathed. That had fit into her? She could barely believe it. Still immensely curious, she wrapped her hand around him and gently squeezed.

Turner nearly came off the bed.

She let go of him immediately. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," he rasped. "Do it again."

Miranda's lips curved into a feminine smile of satisfaction as she repeated her caresses. "Can I kiss you?"

"You'd better not," he said hoarsely.

"Oh. I thought maybe since you had kissed me…"

Turner let out a primitive growl and flipped her over onto her back and settled himself between her thighs. "Later. You can do it later." Unable to control his passion any longer, his mouth descended onto hers with stunning force, claiming her as his own. He nudged her thigh with his knee, forcing her to open wider.

Miranda instinctively tilted her hips to allow him easier entry. He slid into her effortlessly, and she marveled that her body could stretch to fit him. He began stroking slowly back and forth, back and forth, moving inside her with a slow but steady rhythm. "Oh, Miranda," he moaned. "Oh, my God."

"I know. I know." Her head lolled from side to side. The weight of him was pinning her down, and yet she could not keep still.

"You're mine," he growled, stepping up the pace. "Mine."

She moaned in response.

He held still, his eyes strange and penetrating as he said, "Say it."

"I'm yours," she whispered.

"Every inch of you. Every luscious inch of you. From here"- he cupped her breast- "to here"- he slid his finger along the curve of her cheek- "to here." He pulled out until only the very tip of him remained within her and then pumped back in to the hilt.

"Oh, God yes, Turner. Anything you want."

"I want you."

"I'm yours. I swear it."

"No one else, Miranda. Promise me." He again pulled himself almost out.

She felt utterly bereft without him inside her and almost cried out. "I promise," she gasped. "Please…just come back to me."

He slid back in, causing her to both sigh with relief and pant with desire. "There will be no other men. Do you hear me?"

Miranda knew that his urgent words stemmed from Leticia's betrayal, but she was too caught up in the passion of the moment to even think of scolding him for comparing her to his late wife. "None, I swear! I've never wanted anyone else."

"And you never will," he said firmly, as if he could make it true simply by saying it.

"Never! Please, Turner, please…I need you. I need…"

"I know what you need." His lips closed around one of her nipples as he sped up his movements inside her. She felt pressure building in her body. Spasms of pleasure were shooting through her belly, down her arms, and up her legs. And then suddenly she knew she could not possibly bear another moment without expiring on the spot, and her entire body convulsed, clenching around his manhood like a silken glove. She screamed his name, grasping at his arms as her shoulders came off the bed in the force of her climax.

The sheer sensuality of her release pushed Turner over the edge, and he cried out hoarsely as he plunged forward one last time, driving himself in to the hilt. His pleasure was intense, and he could not believe the speed with which he poured himself into her. He collapsed on top of her, utterly spent. Never had it been this good, never. Not even the last time with Miranda. It was as if every movement, every touch was intensified now that he knew she was his and his alone. He was startled by his possessiveness, stunned by the way he had made her swear her fidelity to him, and disgusted by the fact that he had manipulated her passion to suit his childish needs.

Was she angry? Did she hate him for it? He lifted his head up and looked down into her face. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were curved into a half smile. She looked every inch the satisfied woman, and he quickly decided that if she wasn't offended by his actions or questions, he wasn't going to argue with her.

"You look pink, puss," he murmured, stroking her cheek.

"Still?" she asked lazily, not even opening her eyes.

"Even more so."

Turner smiled, propping himself up on his elbows to take some of his weight off her. He ran his finger along the curve of her cheek, starting at the corner of her mouth and then winding up at the tender skin near her eye. He nudged her lashes. "Open up."

She lifted her lids. "Good morning."

"Indeed." He grinned boyishly.

She squirmed beneath his intense stare. "Aren't you growing uncomfortable?"

"I like it up here."

"But your arms- "

"Are strong enough to hold me up for quite a while longer. Besides, I enjoy looking at you."

Shyly, she averted her gaze.

"No, no, no. No escape. Look back here." He touched her chin and nudged it until she was facing him again. "You're very beautiful, you know."

"I am not," she said in a voice that said she knew he was lying.

"Will you stop quibbling with me over this point? I'm older than you and have seen a lot of women."

"Seen?" she asked dubiously.

"That, my dear wife, is another topic altogether, and one that does not require discussion. I merely wanted to point out that I am probably a bit more of a connoisseur than you are, and you should take my word on the matter. If I say you're beautiful, then you're beautiful."

"Really, Turner, you're very sweet- "

He leaned down until his nose rested on hers. "You're starting to irritate me, wife."

"Good heavens, I wouldn't want to do that."

"I should think not."

Her lips curved into a mischief-tinged smile. "You're very handsome."

"Thank you," he said magnanimously. "Now, did you see how nicely I accepted your compliment?"

"You rather ruined the effect by pointing out your good manners."

He shook his head. "Such a mouth on you. I'm going to have to do something about that."

"Kiss it?" she said hopefully.

"Mmm, not a problem." His tongue darted out and traced the outline of her lips. "Very nice. Very tasty."

"I'm not a fruit tart, you know," she retorted.

"There's that mouth again," he said, sighing.

"I imagine you'll have to keep kissing me."

He sighed as if that were a great chore. "Oh, all right." This time, he poked into her mouth and ran his tongue along the smooth surface of her teeth. When he lifted his head again and looked back down at her face, she was glowing. It seemed the only word to describe the radiance that emanated from her skin. "My Lord, Miranda," he said hoarsely. "You really are beautiful."

He lowered himself down, rolled onto his side, and gathered her into his arms. "I've never seen anyone look quite as you do right this minute," he murmured, pulling her more tightly against him. "Let's just lie here like this for a spell."

He drifted off to sleep, thinking that this was an excellent way to start off a marriage.

6 November 1819

Today marked the tenth week of my marriage- and the third since when I should last have bled. I should not be surprised that I have conceived again so quickly- Turner is a most attentive husband.

I do not complain.

12 January 1820

As I stepped into the bath this evening, I could swear I saw a slight swell to my belly. I believe in it now. I believe it is here to stay.

30 April 1820

Oh, I am large. And nearly three months remain. Turner seems to adore my roundness. He is convinced it shall be a girl. He whispers, "I love you," to my belly.

But just to my belly. Not to me. To be fair, I have not said the words, either, but I am sure he knows that I do. After all, I did tell him before our marriage, and he once said that a person does not fall out of love so easily.

I know he cares for me. Why can he not love me? Or if he does, why can he not say it?