The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever

Chapter 5

A week or so later, the sun was shining so brightly that Miranda and Olivia, missing their frequent sojourns in the country, decided to spend the morning exploring London. At Olivia's insistence, they began in the shopping district.

"I certainly don't need another dress," Miranda said as they strolled down the street, their maids a respectful distance behind them.

"Neither do I, but it's always great fun to look, and besides, we might find a trinket or such to buy with our pin money. Your birthday will be here before we know it. You should purchase yourself a treat."

"Perhaps."

They wandered through dress shops, milliners, jewelers, and sweet shops before Miranda found what she hadn't even known she'd been looking for.

"Look at that, Olivia," she breathed. "Isn't it magnificent?"

"Isn't what magnificent?" Olivia replied, peering into the elegantly dressed window of the bookshop.

"That." Miranda pointed her finger toward an exquisitely bound copy of Le Morte d'Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory. It looked rich and lovely, and Miranda wanted nothing more than to lean right through the window and inhale the air that wafted around it.

For the first time in her life, she saw something that she simply had to have. Forget economy. Forget practicality. She sighed- a deep, soulful, needy breath, and said, "I think I finally understand what you mean about shoes."

"Shoes?" Olivia echoed, looking down at her feet. "Shoes?"

Miranda didn't bother to explain further. She was too busy tilting her head so that she could peer at the gold leaf that edged the pages.

"And we've read that already," Olivia continued. "I believe it was two years ago- when Miss Lacey was hired on as our governess. Don't you recall? She was all aghast that we hadn't got to it yet."

"It's not about reading it," Miranda said, pressing even closer to the glass. "Is it not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

Olivia regarded her friend with a doubtful expression. "Er…no."

Miranda shook her head slightly and looked up at Olivia. "I suppose that's what makes something art. What can send one person into raptures may fail to move another even the tiniest bit."

"Miranda, that's a book."

"That book," Miranda decided firmly, "is a piece of art."

"It looks rather old."

"I know." Miranda sighed happily.

"Are you going to buy it?"

"If I have enough money."

"I would think you must. You haven't spent your pin money in years. You always put it in that porcelain vase Turner sent you for your birthday five years ago."

"Six."

Olivia blinked. "Six what?"

"It was six years ago."

"Five years ago, six years ago- what is the difference?" Olivia burst out, looking rather exasperated by Miranda's exactitude. "The point is, you have quite a bit of money tucked away, and if you truly want that book, you should buy it to celebrate your twentieth birthday. You never buy anything for yourself."

Miranda turned back to the temptation in the window. The book had been set on a pedestal and opened to a page in the middle. A brightly colored illustration depicted Arthur and Guinevere. "It's going to be expensive," she said ruefully.

Olivia gave her a little shove and said, "You'll never know if you don't go in and ask."

"You're right. I'll do it!" Miranda flashed her a smile that hovered somewhere between excitement and nervousness and headed into the store. The cozy bookshop was decorated in rich, masculine tones, with overstuffed leather chairs strategically placed for those who might want to sit and leaf through a volume.

"I don't see the proprietor," Olivia whispered in Miranda's ear.

"Right there." Miranda gestured with her head toward a thin, balding man about the age of their parents. "See, he's helping that man find a book. I'll just wait until he is available. I don't wish to be a bother."

The two ladies waited patiently for a few minutes while the bookseller was busy. Every so often, he shot them a scowling glance, which quite perplexed Miranda, as both she and Olivia were finely dressed and obviously able to afford most of his merchandise. Finally, he finished up his task and bustled toward them.

"I was wondering, sir- " Miranda began.

"This is a gentlemen's bookshop," he said in a hostile voice.

"Oh." Miranda drew back, rather put off by his attitude. But she desperately wanted the Malory book, so she swallowed her pride, smiled sweetly, and continued. "I apologize. I did not realize. But I was hoping I- "

"I said this is a gentlemen's shop." His beady little eyes narrowed. "Kindly depart."

Kindly? She stared at him, her lips parting with astonishment. Kindly? With that sort of tone?

"Let's go, Miranda," Olivia said, taking hold of her sleeve. "We should go."

Miranda clenched her teeth and did not budge. "I would like to purchase a book."

"I'm sure you would," the bookseller said snidely. "And the ladies' bookshop is only a quarter of a mile away."

"The ladies' bookshop doesn't have what I want."

He smirked. "Then I'm sure you shouldn't be reading it."

"I don't believe it is your place to make that judgment, sir," Miranda said coldly.

"Miranda," Olivia whispered, wide-eyed.

"Just one moment," she replied, never taking her eyes off the repulsive little man. "Sir, I can assure you that I possess ample funds. And if you would only allow me to inspect Le Morte d'Arthur, I might be persuaded to part with them."

He crossed his arms. "I don't sell books to women."

And really, that was too much. "I beg your pardon."

"Leave," he spat, "or I will have you forcibly removed."

"That would be a mistake, sir," Miranda countered sharply. "Do you know who we are?" It was not her habit to pull rank, but she was not averse to doing so if the occasion warranted.

The bookseller was unimpressed. "I am certain I do not care."

"Miranda," Olivia pleaded, looking acutely uncomfortable.

"I am Miss Miranda Cheever, daughter of Sir Rupert Cheever, and this," Miranda said with a flourish, "is Lady Olivia Bevelstoke, daughter of the Earl of Rudland. I suggest you reconsider your policy."

He met her haughty glare with one of his own. "I don't care if you're bloody Princess Charlotte. Get out of my shop."

Miranda narrowed her eyes before she moved to leave. It was bad enough that he'd insulted her. But to impugn the memory of the princess- it was beyond the pale. "You have not heard the end of this, sir."

"Out!"

She took Olivia's arm and left the premises in a huff, giving the door a good slam just to be contrary. "Can you believe him?" she said once they were safely outside. "That was appalling. It was criminal. It was- "

"A gentlemen's bookshop," Olivia cut in, looking at her as if she'd suddenly sprouted a spare head.

"And?"

Olivia stiffened at her nearly belligerent tone. "There are gentlemen's bookshops, and there are ladies' bookshops. It's the way of things."

Miranda's fists curled into tight little balls. "It's a bloody stupid way, if you ask me."

"Miranda!" Olivia audibly gasped. "What did you just say?"

Miranda had the grace to blush at her foul language. "Do you see how upset he made me? Have you ever known me to curse aloud before?"

"No, and I'm not sure I want to know how much cursing you're doing in your mind."

"It's asinine," Miranda fumed. "Absolutely asinine. He had something I wanted to buy, and I had the money to pay for it. It should have been a simple matter."

Olivia glanced down the road. "Why don't we just go to the ladies' bookshop?"

"There is nothing I would rather do under normal circumstances. I certainly would prefer not to patronize that dreadful man's store. But I doubt they will have the same copy of Le Morte d'Arthur, Livvy. I'm certain it's a singular item. And worse- " Miranda's voice rose as the injustice of it all sank in more firmly. "And worse- "

"It gets worse?"

Miranda shot her an irritated look but nonetheless replied, "Yes. It does. The worst of it is, even if there were two copies, which I'm quite certain there are not, the ladies' bookshop probably would not carry one, anyway, because no one would think that a lady would wish for such a book!"

"They wouldn't?"

"No. It's probably full of Byron and Mrs. Radcliffe novels."

"I like Byron and Mrs. Radcliffe novels," Olivia said, sounding vaguely affronted.

"So do I," Miranda assured her, "but I enjoy other literature as well. And I certainly do not think it is the place of that man"- she jabbed an angry finger toward the bookshop window- "to decide what I may or may not read."

Olivia stared at her for a moment, then politely asked, "Are you quite done?"

Miranda smoothed her skirts and sniffed. "Quite."

Olivia's back was to the bookshop, and she sent a rueful glance over her shoulder before placing a comforting hand on Miranda's arm. "We'll get Father to buy it for you. Or Turner."

"That's not the point. I cannot believe you're not as upset about this as I am."

Olivia sighed. "When did you become such a crusader, Miranda? I thought I was meant to be the unrestrained one of the duo."

Miranda's jaw began to ache from clenching. "I suppose," she nearly growled, "that I have never had anything to get this upset about before."

Olivia's head drew back, just a touch. "Remind me to take pains not to upset you in the future."

"I'm going to get that book."

"Fine, we'll just- "

"And he is going to know that I've got it." Miranda gave the bookshop one last belligerent stare and then strode off in the direction of home.

"Of course I'll buy the book for you, Miranda," Turner said congenially. He'd been enjoying a rather leisurely afternoon, reading the newspaper and pondering life as an unattached gentleman, when his sister had burst into the room, announcing that Miranda desperately needed a favor.

It all been rather entertaining, actually, especially the death stare Miranda had bestowed upon Olivia at her use of the word desperate.

"I don't want you to buy it for me," Miranda ground out. "I want you to buy it with me."

Turner sat back in his comfortable chair. "Is there a difference?"

"A world of difference."

"A world," Olivia confirmed, but she was grinning, and he rather suspected she didn't see the distinction, either.

Miranda threw her another glare, and Olivia actually backed up and exclaimed. "What? I'm supporting you!"

"Don't you think it's wrong," Miranda continued ferociously, returning to both her diatribe and his face, "that I cannot shop in a certain store simply because I am a woman?"

He smiled lazily at her. "Miranda, there are certain places where women cannot go."

"I am not asking to enter one of your precious clubs. I merely wish to purchase a book. There isn't anything remotely unsuitable about it. It is an antique, for heaven's sake."

"Miranda, if that gentleman owns that shop, he can decide who he does and doesn't want sell to."

She crossed her arms. "Well, perhaps he shouldn't be allowed to. Perhaps there ought to be a law that says that booksellers cannot bar women from their stores."

He raised an ironic brow at her. "You haven't been reading that tract by Mary Wollstonecraft, have you?"

"Mary who?" Miranda asked in a distracted voice.

"Good."

"Don't change the subject, please, Turner. Do you or do you not agree that I should be allowed to buy that book?"

He sighed, quite exhausted by her unexpected stubbornness. And over a book. "Miranda, why should you be allowed in a gentlemen's bookshop? You can't even vote."

Her sputter of outrage was colossal. "And that's another thing- "

Turner quickly realized that he had made a tactical error. "Forget I mentioned suffrage. Please. I'll go with you to buy the book."

"You will?" Her eyes lit up and glowed soft and brown. "Thank you."

"Shall we go on Friday? I don't believe I'm engaged for the afternoon."

"Oh, I want to go, too," Olivia piped in.

"Absolutely not," Turner said firmly. "One of you is all I can manage. My nerves, you know."

"Your nerves?"

He gave her A Look. "You try them."

"Turner!" Olivia exclaimed. She turned to Miranda. "Miranda!"

But Miranda was still focused on Turner. "Could we go now?" she asked him, giving every impression of not having heard a word of their squabble. "I don't want that bookseller to forget about me."

"Judging from Olivia's rendition of your adventure," Turner said wryly, "I doubt that is likely to happen."

"But could we please go today? Please. Please."

"You do realize you're begging."

"I don't care," she said promptly.

He pondered this. "It occurs to me that I could use this situation to my advantage."

Miranda gave him a blank look. "What would be the point of that?"

"Oh, I don't know. One never knows when one might want to call in a favor."

"Since I have nothing you could possibly want, I advise you to forget your nefarious plans and simply take me to the bookshop."

"Very well. Let's be off."

He thought she might jump with glee. Good Lord.

"It's not far," she was saying. "We can walk there."

"Are you certain I cannot come with you?" Olivia asked, following them into the hall.

"Stay," Turner ordered benignly as he watched Miranda charge the door. "Someone will need to call the watch when we don't return in one piece."

Ten minutes later, Miranda was standing in front of the bookshop from which she'd been ejected earlier that day.

"Gad, Miranda," she heard Turner murmur beside her. "You look a bit a frightening."

"Good," she replied succinctly, and she stepped forward.

Turner placed a restraining hand on her arm. "Allow me to enter before you," he suggested, an amused glint in his eye. "The mere sight of you may send the poor man into an apoplectic fit."

Miranda scowled at him but let him pass. There was no way the bookseller would best her this time. She'd come armed with a titled gentleman and a healthy dose of rage. The book was all but hers.

A bell jingled as Turner entered the shop. Miranda followed right behind him, practically stepping on his heels.

"May I assist you, sir?" the bookseller asked, all fawning politeness.

"Yes, I'm interested in…" His words trailed off as he looked around the store.

"That book," Miranda said firmly, pointing toward the display in the window.

"Yes, that's the one." Turner offered the bookseller a bland smile.

"You!" the bookseller spluttered, his face turning pink with ire. "Out! Get out of my shop!" He grabbed Miranda's arm and tried to drag her to the door.

"Stop! Stop, I say!" Miranda, not one to let herself be abused by a man she considered to be an idiot, grabbed her reticule and thwacked him on the head.

Turner groaned.

"Simmons!" the bookseller yelled out, summoning his assistant. "Fetch a constable. This young lady is deranged."

"I'm not deranged, you overgrown goat!"

Turner pondered his options. Really, there could be no good outcome.

"I'm a paying customer," Miranda continued hotly. "And I want to buy Le Morte d'Arthur!"

"I'll die before it reaches your hands, you ill-mannered trollop!"

Trollop? That was really too much for Miranda, a young lady whose sensibilities were usually more modest than one might have guessed from her current behavior. "You vile, vile man," she hissed. She raised her reticule again.

Trollop? Turner sighed. It was an insult he really couldn't overlook. Still, he couldn't let Miranda attack the poor man. He grabbed the reticule from her hand. She glared daggers at him for his interference. He narrowed his eyes and gave her a warning look.

He cleared his throat and turned to the bookseller. "Sir, I must insist that you apologize to the lady."

The bookseller crossed his arms defiantly.

Turner glanced at Miranda. Her arms were crossed in much the same manner. He looked back at the older man and said, a little more forcefully, "You will apologize to the lady."

"She is a menace," the bookseller said viciously.

"Why, you- " Miranda would have launched herself at him if Turner had not pulled her back with a quick grab to the back of her dress. The older man balled his fist and assumed a predatory stance that was quite at odds with his bookish appearance.

"You be quiet," Turner hissed at her, feeling the beginnings of fury uncurl in his chest.

The bookseller shot her a triumphant look.

"Oh, that was a mistake," Turner said. Good God, did the man have no common sense? Miranda jolted forward, which meant that Turner had to hold on to her dress even more firmly, which meant that the bookseller assumed even more of a smirk, which meant that the whole bloody farce was going to spiral into a full-blown hurricane if Turner did not settle the matter then and there.

He gave the bookseller his iciest, most aristocratic stare. "Apologize to the lady, or I will make you very sorry, indeed."

But the bookseller was clearly a raving idiot, because he did not accept the offer Turner had, in his estimation, so generously offered. Instead, he jutted his jaw belligerently and announced, "I have nothing for which to apologize. That woman came into my store…"

"Ah, hell," Turner muttered. There was no avoiding it now.

"…disturbed my customers, insulted me…"

Turner balled his hand into a fist and swung, clipping the bookseller neatly next to his nose.

"Oh my good Lord," Miranda breathed. "I think you broke his nose."

Turner shot her a scathing glance before looking down at the bookseller on the floor. "I don't think so. He isn't bleeding enough."

"Pity," Miranda muttered.

Turner grabbed her arm and hauled her up close to him. The bloodthirsty little wench was going to get herself killed. "Not another word until we get out of here."

Miranda's eyes widened, but she wisely shut her mouth and allowed him to pull her out of the store. As they passed by the window, however, she caught sight of Le Morte d'Arthur and burst out, "My book!"

That was it. Turner slammed to a halt. "I don't want to hear another word about your damned book, do you hear me?"

Her mouth fell open.

"Do you understand what just happened? I struck a man."

"But wouldn't you agree he needed striking?"

"Not half as much as you need throttling!"

She drew back, clearly affronted.

"Contrary to whatever it is that you think of me," he bit off, "I don't go about my days pondering when and where I might next be reduced to violence."

"But- "

"But nothing, Miranda. You insulted the man- "

"He insulted me!"

"I was handling the matter," he said between clenched teeth. "That's why you brought me here, to handle everything. Isn't that so?"

Miranda scowled and moved her chin in a sharp, reluctant nod.

"What the devil was the matter with you? What if that man had had less restraint? What if- "

"You thought he showed restraint?" she asked, dumb-founded.

"At least as much as you did!" He grabbed her shoulders and almost began to shake. "Good God, Miranda, you do realize that there are many men who would not blink an eye before striking a woman? Or worse," he added meaningfully.

He waited for her answer, but she was just staring at him, her eyes huge and unblinking. And he had the most unsettling feeling that she saw something that he did not.

Something in him.

And then she said, "I'm sorry, Turner."

"For what?" he asked less than graciously. "For making a scene in the middle of a quiet bookstore? For not keeping your mouth shut when you should have? For- "

"For upsetting you," she said quietly. "I'm sorry. It was not well done of me."

Her soft words cut cleanly through his anger, and he sighed. "Just don't do anything like that again, will you?"

"I promise."

"Good." He realized that he was still clutching her shoulders and loosened his grip. Then he realized that her shoulders felt quite nice. Surprised, he let go altogether.

She tilted her head to the side as a worried expression crossed her face. "At least I think I promise. I shall certainly try not to do anything to upset you like that."

Turner had a sudden vision of Miranda trying not to upset him. The vision upset him. "What has happened to you? We depend upon you to be levelheaded. Lord knows you've steered Olivia out of trouble more than once."

Her lips pressed together, and then she said, "Don't confuse levelheaded with meek, Turner. They're not the same thing at all. And I am certainly not meek."

She wasn't being defiant, he realized. She was simply stating fact- one that he suspected his family had overlooked for years. "Have no fear," he said wearily, "if ever I entertained the notion that you were meek, you have certainly disabused me of it this afternoon."

But God help him, she wasn't done. "If I see something that is so obviously wrong," she said earnestly, "I can hardly sit by and do nothing."

She was going to kill him. He was sure of it. "Just try to stay away from obvious mischief. Could you do that for me?"

"But I didn't think this was particularly mischievous. And I did- "

He held up his hand. "No more. Not another word on the topic. It'll take ten years off my life just talking about it." He took her arm and steered her toward home.

Dear God, what was wrong with him? His pulse was still racing, and she hadn't even been in any danger. Not really. He doubted the bookseller could have got a good punch in. And furthermore, why the devil was he so worried about Miranda? Of course he cared about her. She was like a little sister to him. But then he tried to imagine Olivia in her place. All he could feel was mild amusement.

Something was very wrong if Miranda could make him this furious.

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