The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever

Chapter 6

"Winston will be here soon." Olivia sailed into the rose salon on that statement, bestowing upon Miranda her sunniest of smiles.

Miranda looked up from her book- a dog-eared and decidedly unglamorous copy of Le Morte d'Arthur she'd borrowed from Lord Rudland's library. "Really?" she murmured, even though she knew very well that Winston was expected that afternoon.

"Really?" Olivia mimicked. "Is that all you can say? Pardon, but I was under the impression you were in love with the boy, oh, excuse me- he's a man now, isn't he?"

Miranda returned to her reading. "I told you I'm not in love with him."

"Well, you should be," Olivia retorted. "And you would be, if you would deign to spend some time with him."

Miranda's eyes, which had been resolutely moving over the words on the page, slammed to a halt. She looked up. "I beg your pardon. Isn't he in Oxford?"

"Well, yes," Olivia said, waving off the comment as if the sixty miles' distance was of no consequence, "but he was here last week, and you barely spent any time with him."

"That's not true," Miranda replied. "We rode in Hyde Park, went to Gunter's for ices, and even took a boat out into the Serpentine that one day it was actually warm."

Olivia plopped down in a nearby chair, crossing her arms. "It's not enough."

"You've gone mad," Miranda said. She gave her head a little shake and turned back to her book.

"I know that you will love him. You need only to spend enough time in his company."

Miranda pressed her lips together and kept her eyes firmly on her book. This was not a conversation that could go anywhere sensible.

"He will be here for only two days," Olivia mused. "We're going to need to work quickly."

Miranda flipped a page and said, "You do what you wish, Olivia, but I will not be party to your schemes." Then she looked up in alarm. "No, I've changed my mind. Don't do what you wish. If I leave matters up to you, I'll find myself drugged and on my way to Gretna Green before I know it."

"An intriguing thought."

"Livvy, no matchmaking. I want you to promise me."

Olivia's expression turned arch. "I won't make a promise I might not keep."

"Olivia."

"Oh, very well. But you cannot stop Winston if he has matchmaking in mind. And judging from his recent behavior, he very well might."

"Just so long as you don't interfere."

Olivia sniffed and tried to look affronted. "I am hurt that you would even think I would do such a thing."

"Oh, please." Miranda turned back to her book, but it was nearly impossible to focus on the plot when in her mind she was counting down…twenty, nineteen, eighteen…

Surely Olivia would not be able to remain silent for more than twenty seconds.

Seventeen…sixteen…

"Winston will make a lovely husband, don't you think?"

Four seconds. That was remarkable, even for Olivia.

"He's young, of course, but so are we."

Miranda studiously ignored her.

"Turner probably would have made a fine husband, as well, if Leticia hadn't gone and ruined him."

Miranda's head snapped up. "Don't you think that's an unkind remark?"

Olivia gave a little smile. "I knew you were listening to me."

"It's nearly impossible not to," Miranda muttered.

"I was merely saying that- " Olivia's chin rose, and her gaze moved to the doorway behind Miranda. "And here he is now. What a coincidence."

"Winston," Miranda said cheerfully, twisting in her seat so that she could peer over the edge of the sofa. Except it wasn't Winston.

"Sorry to disappoint," Turner said, one corner of his mouth twisting into a lazy and extremely slight smile.

"Sorry," Miranda mumbled, feeling rather unexpectedly foolish. "We were speaking of him."

"We were speaking of you, too," Olivia said. "More recently, in fact, which is why I remarked upon your entrance."

"Diabolical things, I hope."

"Oh, indeed," Olivia said.

Miranda managed a close-lipped smile as he took a seat across from her.

Olivia leaned forward and rested her chin coquettishly in her hand. "I was just telling Miranda that I thought you would make someone a terrible husband."

He looked amused as he sat back. "True enough."

"But I was about to say that with the proper training," Olivia continued, "you could be rehabilitated."

Turner stood. "I'm leaving."

"No, don't go!" Olivia called out with a laugh. "I am teasing, of course. You're quite beyond redemption. But Winston…Now, Winston is like a lump of clay."

"I shan't tell him you said that," Miranda murmured.

"Don't say you don't agree," Olivia said provocatively. "He hasn't had time to turn dreadful, the way most men do."

Turner watched his sister with undisguised amazement. "How is it possible that I am sitting here listening to you lecture on the management of men?"

Olivia opened her mouth to reply- something clever and cunning, to be sure- but just then the butler appeared in the doorway and saved them all. "Your mother requires your company, Lady Olivia."

"I shall be back," Olivia warned as she exited the room. "I am most eager to complete this conversation." And then, with a devilish smile and a wag of her fingers, she departed.

Turner stifled a groan- his sister was going to be the death of someone, just hopefully not him- and looked to Miranda. She was curled up on the sofa, her feet tucked under her, a large, dusty tome in her lap.

"Heavy reading?" he murmured.

She held up the book.

"Oh," he said, his lips twitching.

"Don't laugh," she warned.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Don't lie, either," she said, her mouth assuming that governess expression she seemed to do so well.

He leaned back with a chuckle. "Now that I cannot promise."

For a moment she just sat there, looking equal parts stern and serious, and then her face changed. Nothing dramatic, nothing to raise alarm, but enough so that it was clear that she'd been debating something in her mind. And that she'd reached a decision.

"What do you think of Winston?" she asked.

"My brother," he stated.

She held out her hand and flicked her wrist, as if to say- Who else?

"Well," he said, stalling because, really, what did she expect him to say? "He's my brother."

Her eyes glanced upward sarcastically. "Positively revelatory of you."

"What exactly is it you are asking me?"

"I want to know what you think of him," she insisted.

His heart slammed in his chest for no reason he could identify. "Are you asking me," he inquired carefully, "if I believe that Winston would make a good husband?"

She gave him that owlish stare of hers, and then she blinked, and- it was the strangest thing- it was almost as if she were clearing her head before she said, in quite the most conversational tone, "It does seem that everyone is trying to make a match of us."

"Everyone?"

"Well, Olivia."

"Hardly the person I'd turn to for romantic advice."

"So you don't think I should set my cap for Winston," she said, leaning forward.

Turner blinked. He knew Miranda, and he'd known her for years, which was why he was quite certain that she had not adjusted her position with the intention of showcasing her surprisingly lovely bosom. But rather distractingly, that had been the end result.

"Turner?" she murmured.

"He's too young," he blurted out.

"For me?"

"For anyone. Good God, he's barely twenty-one."

"Actually, he's still twenty."

"Exactly," he said uncomfortably, wishing very much there was some way to adjust his cravat without looking like a fool. It was starting to feel rather warm, and it was getting difficult to keep his attention focused on something other than Miranda without being obvious about it.

She sat back. Thank God.

And she said nothing.

Until finally he could not help himself. "Do you intend to pursue him, then?"

"Winston?" She appeared to be pondering it. "I don't know."

He snorted. "If you don't know, then clearly you should not."

She turned and looked him directly in the eye. "Is that what you think? That love should be obvious and clear?"

"Who said anything about love?" His voice was slightly unkind, which he regretted, but surely she understood that this was an untenable conversation.

"Hmmm."

He had the unpleasant sensation that she'd judged him, and he'd come up lacking. A conclusion that was reinforced when she returned her attention to the book in her lap.

And he sat there, like an idiot, really, just watching her read her book, trying to devise some sort of cunning remark.

She looked up, her face irritatingly placid. "Do you have plans for the afternoon?"

"None," he bit off, even though he had had every intention of taking his gelding out for a trot.

"Oh. Winston is expected soon."

"I'm aware."

"It's why we were talking about him," she explained, as if that mattered. "He is coming for my birthday."

"Yes, of course."

She leaned forward again, God help him. "You did remember?" she asked. "We are to have a family supper tomorrow evening."

"Of course I remembered," he muttered, even though he had not.

"Hmmm," she murmured, "thank you for your thoughts, anyway."

"My thoughts," he echoed. What the devil was she talking about now?

"About Winston. There is much to consider, and I did wish for your opinion."

"Well. Now you have it."

"Yes." She smiled. "I'm glad. It is because I have such great respect for you."

Somehow she was managing to make him feel like he was some kind of ancient relic. "You have great respect for me?" The words slipped distastefully off his tongue.

"Well, yes. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"Frankly, Miranda, most of the time I have no idea what you think," he snapped.

"I think about you."

His eyes flew to hers.

"And Winston, of course. And Olivia. As if one could live in the same house with her and not think about her." She snapped her book shut and stood. "I imagine I should go seek her out. She and your mother are at odds over some frocks Olivia wishes to order, and I promised to aid the cause."

He stood and escorted her to the door. "Olivia's or my mother's?"

"Why, your mother's, of course," Miranda said with a laugh. "I'm young, but I'm no fool."

And with that, she departed.

10 June 1819

Odd conversation with Turner this afternoon. It was not my intention to try to make him jealous, although I suppose it could have been interpreted that way, if anyone knew of my feelings for him, which of course they do not.

It was my intention, however, to inspire certain notions of guilt as pertains to

Le Morte d'Arthur. In this, I do not believe I succeeded.

Later that afternoon, Turner returned from a ride in Hyde Park with his friend Lord Westholme, only to find Olivia loitering in the main hall.

"Shush," she said.

It was enough to pique anyone's interest, and so Turner immediately went to her side. "Why are we being quiet?" he asked, refusing to whisper.

She shot him an angry glare. "I'm eavesdropping."

Turner could not imagine upon whom, as she was edged up against the stairwell that led down to the kitchens. But then he heard it- a lilt of laughter.

"Is that Miranda?" he asked.

Olivia nodded. "Winston just arrived, and they have gone downstairs."

"Why?"

Olivia peered around the corner, then snapped back to face Turner. "Winston was hungry."

Turner yanked off his gloves. "And he needs Miranda to feed him?"

"No, he's gone down for some of Mrs. Cook's butter biscuits. I was going to join them, as I hate being left alone, but now that you're here, I believe I'll let you keep me company instead."

Turner glanced past her down the hall, even though he couldn't possibly see his brother and Miranda. "I'm rather hungry myself," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Abstain," Olivia ordered. "They need time."

"To eat?"

Her eyes actually rolled up. "To fall in love."

There was something rather galling about receiving such a disdainful look from one's younger sister, but Turner decided that he would take, if not the high road, then at least something middle-ish, and so he gave her a somewhat arch look and returned with a pithy "And they intend to do this over biscuits and tea in a single afternoon?"

"It's a start," Olivia retorted. "I don't see you doing anything to further the match."

That, Turner thought with unexpected forcefulness, was because any fool could see that it would be a dreadful misalliance. He loved Winston dearly, and held him in as high an esteem as anyone could hold a twenty-year-old boy, but he was clearly the wrong man for Miranda. It was true that he had only come to know her well these past few weeks, but even he could see that she was wise beyond her years. She needed someone who was more mature, older, better able to appreciate her finer points. Someone who could keep a firm hand on her when her temper made one of its rare appearances.

Winston, he supposed, could be that man…in ten years.

Turner looked to his sister and said, rather firmly, "I need food."

"Turner, don't!" But Olivia couldn't stop him. By the time she even tried he was halfway down the hall.

The Bevelstokes had always run a relatively informal house, at least when they were not entertaining guests, and so none of the servants had been particularly surprised when Winston had poked his head into the kitchen, melted Mrs. Cook with his sweetest, most puppy-dog expression, and then plopped down at a table with Miranda to wait while she whipped up some of her famous butter biscuits. They had just been laid on the table, still steaming and smelling like heaven, when Miranda heard a loud thump behind her.

She turned, blinking, to see Turner standing at the base of the stairs, looking rakish, sheepish, and utterly adorable, all at once. She sighed. She couldn't help it.

"Took the stairs two at a time," he explained, although she wasn't quite certain of the significance of it.

"Turner," Winston grunted, too busy eating his third biscuit to greet him more eloquently.

"Olivia said you two were down here," Turner said. "Good timing on my part. I'm famished."

"We've a plate of biscuits if you want some," Miranda said, motioning to a dish on the table.

Turner shrugged his shoulders and sat down next to her. "Mrs. Cook's?"

Winston nodded.

Turner took three, then turned to Mrs. Cook with the same puppyish expression Winston had adopted earlier. "Oh, very well," she huffed, clearly adoring the attention, "I'll make more."

Just then Olivia appeared in the doorway, her lips pursed as she glared at her elder brother. "Turner," she said in an irritated voice. "I told you I wanted to show you the new, er, book I got."

Miranda stifled a groan. She'd told Olivia to stop trying to force a match.

"Turner," Olivia ground out.

Miranda decided that if Olivia ever asked her about it, she'd say that she just could not help herself when she looked up, smiled sweetly, and asked, "And what book would that be?"

Olivia glared long pointy swords at her. "You know the one."

"Would it be the one about the Ottoman Empire, the one about fur trappers in Canada, or the one about the philosophy of Adam Smith?"

"The Smith fellow," Olivia bit out.

"Really?" Winston asked, turning to his twin with renewed interest. "I had no idea you enjoyed that sort of thing. We've been reading Wealth of Nations this year. It's quite an interesting mixture of philosophy and economics."

Olivia smiled tightly. "I'm certain it is. I'll be sure to give you my opinion once I finish reading it."

"How far along are you?" Turner asked.

"Just a few pages."

Or at least that was what Miranda thought she heard. It was difficult to tell over the grinding of Olivia's teeth.

"D'you want a biscuit, Olivia?" Turner asked, and then he flashed Miranda a grin, as if to say, We're in this together.

He looked boyish. He looked young. He looked…happy.

And Miranda melted.

Olivia crossed the room to sit next to Winston, but on the way she leaned down and hissed in Miranda's ear, "I was trying to help you."

Miranda, however, was still recovering from Turner's smile. Her stomach felt as if it had just dropped to her feet, her head was dizzy, and her heart felt like it was thumping out an entire symphony. Either she was in love or she had contracted influenza. She stole a peek at Turner's chiseled profile and sighed.

All signs pointed to love.

"Miranda. Miranda!"

She looked up at Olivia, who was impatiently calling her name.

"Winston wants to know my opinion on Wealth of Nations when I finish reading it. I told him you would be reading it along with me. I'm sure we can purchase another copy."

"What? Oh, yes, of course, I love to read." It was only when she saw Olivia's smirk that Miranda realized just what she'd agreed to.

"Now, Miranda," Winston said, leaning across the table and patting her hand with his. "You must tell me how you have been enjoying the season."

"Those biscuits are delicious," Turner declared loudly, reaching for one. "Excuse me, Winston, could you move your arm?"

Winston retrieved his hand, and Turner took a biscuit and popped it into his mouth. He smiled broadly. "Wonderful as always, Mrs. Cook!"

"I'll have another plate for you in just a few minutes," she assured him, beaming at the praise.

Miranda waited through the exchange and then said to Winston, "It has been quite lovely. I only wish you were here more often to enjoy it with us."

Winston turned to her with a lazy smile that ought to have made her heart skip. "As do I," he said, "but I'll be down for part of the summer."

"You won't have much time for the ladies, I'm afraid," Turner put in helpfully. "If I recall, my summer holidays were spent carousing with my friends. Great fun. You won't wish to miss it."

Miranda looked at him oddly. He sounded almost too jolly.

"I'm sure it was," Winston replied. "But I'd like to attend some of the ton events, too."

"Good idea," Olivia said. "You'll want to acquire some town polish."

Winston turned to her. "I have sufficient polish, thank you very much."

"Of course you do, but there is nothing like actual experience to, er, polish a man."

Winston flushed. "I have experience, Olivia."

Miranda's eyes widened.

Turner stood in one smooth movement. "I do believe this conversation is rapidly deteriorating to a level that is not fit for gentle ears."

Winston looked as if he might like to say something more, but luckily for the cause of familial peace, Olivia clapped her hands together with a cheerful "Well said!"

But Miranda should have known better than to trust her- at least when matchmaking was on the table. And sure enough, she soon found herself on the receiving end of Olivia's most devious smile.

"Miranda," she said, rather too prettily.

"Er, yes?"

"Didn't you tell me that you wanted to take Winston to that glove shop we noticed last week? They've the most amazingly well-made gloves," Olivia continued, directing this to Winston. "For both men and women. We thought you might need a pair. Weren't sure what sort of quality was available up at Oxford, you know."

It was quite the most obvious speech, and Miranda was sure Olivia knew it. She stole a glance at Turner, who was watching the proceedings with an air of amusement. Or maybe it was disgust. Sometimes it was difficult to discern.

"What do you say, dear brother?" Olivia said in her most charming voice. "Shall we go?"

"I can't think of anything I would enjoy more."

Miranda opened her mouth to say something, then saw the futility and shut it. She was going to kill Olivia. She was going to sneak into her bedroom and skin the meddling girl alive. But for now, her only choice was to agree. She did not wish to do anything that might lead Winston to believe she had romantic feelings for him, but it would be the height of insensitivity to attempt to wiggle out of the outing right in front of him.

And so, when she realized that three pairs of eyes were focused expectantly on her, there was nothing to do but say, "We could go today. It would be lovely."

"I'll join you," Turner announced, rising rather decisively to his feet.

Miranda turned to him with surprise, as did both Olivia and Winston. He had never shown interest in accompanying them on any of their outings back in Ambleside, and in truth, why should he have done? He was nine years their senior.

"I need a pair of gloves," he said simply, his lip curling slightly as if to say- Why else would I come along?

"Of course," Winston said, still blinking at the unexpected attention from his older brother.

"Good of you to suggest it," Turner said briskly. "Thank you, Olivia."

She did not look as if she were very welcome.

"It will be lovely to have you along," Miranda said, perhaps a touch more enthusiastically than she'd intended. "You don't mind, do you, Winston?"

"No, of course not." But he looked as if he did. At least a little bit.

"Are you almost done with your milk and biscuits, Winston?" Turner asked. "We ought to be on our way. It looks like it might cloud over in the afternoon."

Winston perversely reached for another biscuit, the largest one on the table. "We can take a closed carriage."

"I'm going to fetch my coat," Miranda said, standing up. "The two of you can decide on carriages and such. Shall we meet in the rose salon? In twenty minutes?"

"I'll escort you upstairs," Winston said quickly. "I need to retrieve something from my traveling case."

The pair left the kitchen, and Olivia immediately turned on Turner with an expression that was positively feline. "What is wrong with you?"

He regarded her blandly. "I beg your pardon?"

"I have been working with every breath in my body to make a match of those two, and you are ruining it all."

"Do try not to be such a thespian," he said with a brief shake of his head. "I am merely purchasing gloves. It won't stop a wedding, if indeed one is imminent."

Olivia scowled. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous."

For a moment, Turner could do nothing but stare. And then he found his sense- and his voice- and bit off, "Well, you do know better. So I will thank you not to make unfounded accusations."

Jealous of Miranda. Good Lord, what would she think of next?

Olivia crossed her arms. "Well, you were certainly acting strangely."

Turner had, in his lifetime, treated his younger sister in a number of ways. Generally speaking, he employed benign neglect. Occasionally, he adopted a more avuncular role, surprising her with gifts and flattery when it was convenient for him to do so. But the gap in their ages had ensured that he had never treated her as an equal, never spoken to her without first considering her a child.

But now, with her accusing him of this, of wanting Miranda, of all things, he lashed out without measuring his words, without scaling them down in size and sentiment. And his voice was hard, biting, and sharp as he said, "If you would look beyond your own desire to have Miranda constantly at your beck and call, you would see that she and Winston are extremely ill-suited."

Olivia gasped at the unexpected attack, but she recovered quickly. "Beck and call?" she repeated furiously. "Now who is making unfounded accusations? You know as well as anyone that I adore Miranda and want nothing more than her happiness. Furthermore, she lacks beauty and a dowry, and- "

"Oh, for the love of- " Turner clamped his mouth shut before he cursed in front of his sister. "You sell her short," he snapped. Why did people persist in seeing Miranda as the gangly girl she'd once been? She might not fit the society's current standards of beauty, as did Olivia, but she had something far deeper and more interesting. One could look at her and know that there was something behind the eyes. And when she smiled, it wasn't practiced, it wasn't mocking- oh, very well, sometimes it was mocking, but he could excuse that, as she possessed the exact same sense of humor as he did. And truly, trapped in London for the season as they were, they were bound to come across any number of things worth mocking.

"Winston would be an excellent match for her," Olivia continued hotly. "And she for- " She stopped, gasped, and clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh, what now?" Turner said irritably.

"This isn't about Miranda, is it? It is about Winston. You don't think she is good enough for him."

"No," he retorted, instantly and in a strange, almost indignant voice. "No," he said again, this time measuring the word more carefully. "Nothing could be further from the truth. They are too young to marry. Winston especially."

Olivia immediately took umbrage. "That is not true, we are- "

"He is too young," he cut in coldly, "and you need look no further than this room to see why a man should not wed too young."

She did not understand right away. Turner saw the exact moment that she did, saw the comprehension, and then the pity.

And he hated the pity.

"I'm sorry," Olivia blurted out- the two words guaranteed to set him even more on edge. And then she said it again. "I'm sorry."

And ran off.

Miranda had been waiting in the rose salon for several minutes when a maid arrived in the doorway and said, "Beg pardon, miss, but Lady Olivia has asked me to tell you that she will not be down."

Miranda set down the figurine she'd been examining and looked to the maid with surprise. "Is she unwell?"

The maid looked hesitant, and Miranda did not wish to put her in a difficult position when she could simply seek out Olivia herself, so she said, "Never you mind. I shall ask her myself."

The maid bobbed a curtsy, and Miranda turned to the table next to her to make sure she'd put the figurine back in its proper position, then, giving it one more backward glance- she knew Lady Rudland liked her curios to be displayed just so- she stepped toward the door.

And crashed into a large, male body.

Turner. She knew it even before he spoke. It could have been Winston, or it could have been a footman, or it could have even been- heaven help her, the embarrassment- Lord Rudland, but it wasn't. It was Turner. She knew his scent. She knew the sound of his breath.

She knew the way the air felt when she was near him.

And that was when she knew, for sure and forever, that it was love.

It was love, and it was the love of a woman for a man. The young girl who'd thought him a white knight was gone. She was a woman now. She knew his flaws and she saw his shortcomings, and still she loved him.

She loved him, and she wanted to heal him, and she wanted-

She didn't know what she wanted. She wanted it all. She wanted everything. She-

"Miranda?"

His hands were still at her arms. She looked up, even though she knew it would be almost unbearable to face the blue of his eyes. She knew what she would not see there.

And she didn't. There was no love, no revelation. But he looked strange, different.

And she felt hot.

"I'm sorry," she stammered, pulling away. "I should be more careful."

But he didn't release her. Not right away. He was looking at her, at her mouth, and Miranda thought for one lovely, blessed second that maybe he wanted to kiss her. Her breath caught, and her lips parted, and-

And then it was over.

He stepped away. "My apologies," he said, with almost no inflection whatsoever. "I should be more careful, as well."

"I was going to find Olivia," she said, mostly because she had no idea what else to say. "She sent word that she will not be coming down."

His expression changed- just enough and with just enough cynicism that she knew he knew what was wrong. "Leave be," he said. "She'll be fine."

"But- "

"For once," he said sharply, "let Olivia deal with her own problems."

Miranda's lips parted with surprise at his tone. But she was saved from having to respond by the arrival of Winston.

"Ready to leave?" he asked jovially, completely unaware of the tensions in the room. "Where's Olivia?"

"She's not coming," Miranda and Turner said in unison.

Winston looked from one to the other, slightly nonplussed by their joint reply. "Why?" he asked.

"She's not feeling well," Miranda lied.

"That's too bad," Winston said, not sounding particularly unhappy. He held out his arm to Miranda. "Shall we?"

Miranda looked to Turner. "Are you still coming?"

"No." And it didn't take him even two seconds to reply.

11 June 1819

My birthday today- lovely and strange.

The Bevelstokes held a family supper in my honor. It was so very sweet and kind, especially as my own father has likely forgot that today is anything other than the day that a certain Greek scholar did a certain special mathematical computation or some such other Very Important Thing.

From Lord and Lady Rudland: a beautiful pair of aquamarine earrings. I know I should not accept something so dear, but I could not make a fuss at the supper table, and I did say, "I can't…" (if with something of a lack of conviction) and was roundly shushed.

From Winston: a set of lovely lace handkerchiefs.

From Olivia: a box of stationery, engraved with my name. She enclosed a little note marked, "For Your Eyes Only," which said, "I hope you shan't be able to use this for long!" Which of course means she hopes my name shall soon be Bevelstoke.

I did not comment.

And from Turner, a bottle of scent. Violets. I immediately thought of the violet ribbon he pinned to my hair when I was ten, but of course he would not have remembered such a thing. I said nothing about it; it would have been far too embarrassing to be revealed as so maudlin. But I thought it a lovely and sweet gift.

I cannot seem to sleep. Ten minutes have passed since I wrote the previous sentence, and although I yawn quite frequently, my eyelids do not seem the least bit heavy. I think I shall go down to the kitchens to see if I might get a glass of warm milk.

Or perhaps I will not go to the kitchens. It is not likely that anyone will be down there to assist me, and while I am perfectly able to heat some milk, the chef will probably have palpitations when he sees that someone has used one of his pots without his knowledge. And more importantly, I am twenty years old now. I can have a glass of sherry to help me sleep if I want.

I think that is what I will do.