The Surgeon’s Family Miracle

PROLOGUE

LILY stared at the thin blue line in consternation. Her plane ticket was right beside her on the bed. In three hours she’d be flying back to Kapua, her Pacific island home, and from now on she and Ben would be nothing but friends.

She was pregnant.

She gazed at herself in the mirror, horror building. They’d been so careful for the past four years, but last week she’d had a tummy bug, and this week, knowing she might never see him again… Well, the only sure contraceptive was abstinence and how could she bear to be apart if this final week was all she had?

She was having Ben’s baby.

She needed to tell him.

The thought made her blench. He’d hate it. She knew how much he’d hate it. Ben who held himself aloof, who backed away at the first sign of need-how could he be a father? Maybe the biggest reason he’d let himself be drawn into their relationship had been that at the end of four years he’d known she had to go home.

She loved him with all her heart.

She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with panic. How could she leave him, knowing she was carrying his child? How could she leave him at all?

He wouldn’t let her leave if he knew she was pregnant. She knew that about him. He might hold himself apart; he might admit he needed no one; but her lovely Ben was an honourable man. He’d suffered a desperately lonely childhood himself, and to have a child grow up without a father… He wouldn’t do it.

But neither could he love a child, she thought bleakly. He didn’t know what loving was. They’d been together now for almost all their medical training, and for all that time her loving had been a one-way deal.

Oh, she couldn’t complain. Ben had been honest with her from the start. ‘Lily, I love you as much as I’ll ever love a woman, but I don’t want a permanent relationship.’ He’d spelt it out repeatedly, making sure she’d understood. ‘This time together is great, but as soon as we finish medical school I need to go and see the world.’

But now…

Ben would feel the same about abortion as she did, she thought, but anything else… She’d seen the flare of panic whenever she’d come close to admitting she needed him, and a child would make no difference. Or maybe it would make him decide to marry her, she thought bleakly, and that would be worse than loneliness. He’d be trapped by his own sense of decency.

The clock ticked on. She should be packing.

Ben didn’t need her, she told herself. He didn’t need anyone. And back home in Kapua, her fellow islanders truly did. She continued staring into the mirror, thinking of the girl she’d been ten minutes ago and the woman she’d suddenly become.

She was a woman with obligations.

Kapua, her island home since she was eight years old, had never had a doctor. Islanders were dying because of it. But Lily had excelled at school, and she’d been desperate to study medicine. Somehow the islanders had supported that wish. Kapua’s economy was subsistence level, which meant the islanders’ decision to fund her medical training had been huge. Her family and neighbours had gone without basic necessities to give her-and themselves-this chance.

The further her training had progressed, the more the islanders’ anticipation had built. Their telephone calls over the last few months had been jubilant. They’d built a hospital because they knew she was coming. She was qualified. The island would have its first doctor.

She was carrying Ben’s child.

Appalled, she let the test strip fall and her hand dropped to her waistline. She was feeling for a pregnancy that was hardly there. This was so new. So tiny. A fragment of human life.

Pregnancy didn’t always end in a live birth, she thought, trying not to cry. To tell Ben now…

Impossible. He was off at the end of this week on his first mission with the armed forces. He’d react with forcefulness, she thought. He’d decide on marriage. He’d organise a date for a wedding during his first leave.

But if she left-as she had to leave-he wouldn’t follow, she thought bleakly. She’d tried so hard to persuade him to visit her island but he’d reacted with incomprehension. The islanders were her family? How could that be? He didn’t know what a family was.

Family… Yes, the islanders were her family. They’d love this child to bits, she thought.

Ben would see a child as nothing more than chains.

She was rocking back and forth now, distressed beyond measure. How could she tell him? If she told him then he’d insist on marriage, and how could she refuse him? But how could she not go home?

‘So tell him and go anyway,’ she told her reflection.

‘I’m not brave enough.’

There were footsteps on the outside stairs. The door was flung open, and Ben was there. Her lovely Ben. Big and strong and tanned, and laughing for the sheer joy of living.

The father of her child.

‘Lily, they’ve accepted me into SAS training,’ he said before she could say a word, and he was across the room, lifting her, swinging her round and round in his excitement. ‘It’s the crack army assault team-the best in the world. You’ll be off saving your little island but I’ll be seeing the world.’ He spun her round and round until she felt dizzy, and when he finally set her on her feet she had no choice but to lean against him, to feel the strength of him one last time.

‘Sweetheart, we’ve each achieved our dream,’ he said, and she could tell that his thoughts were already off in the exciting future where she played no part. ‘I’ll miss you like hell, my love.’

‘I’ll miss you,’ she managed, but only just.

‘Will you?’ He cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him, but his eyes were alive with excitement, and he didn’t see the change in hers.

‘I can’t understand how you can want to go back to such a place as Kapua,’ he said. ‘When the whole world is yours.’

‘The island is my world.’

He nodded. ‘I guess,’ he said, hugging her against him. ‘I guess we’re both driven, but in different directions. But I wish we could share.’

‘No, you don’t,’ she whispered, but so softly he didn’t hear. She whispered it from her heart to his. ‘You don’t wish we could share, my love. You’re my darling Ben Blayden-who walks alone.’