The Vampire Shrink

CHAPTER 23

It probably made sense that a vampire wouldn’t worry about human rules. I mean, once you were undead, who were you trying to impress? Who would get in your face about anything, anyway, if the result would be having your throat torn out?

Luna glided down the stairs, moving with feline grace. Her calm exterior only partially camouflaged the power and violence lurking just under the surface. She was still naked. She strolled over to the washing machine, noted the cycle wasn’t complete and sat down at the kitchen table.

How weird was it to have a sky-clad vampire wandering around your house?

I’d replaced the lightbulbs and done everything I could in the living room. Now it would be up to the cleaning crew. I heard the washing machine spin cycle click off and walked over to shift her clothes into the dryer.

Like the moment in a horror movie when the forest goes strangely silent and we know the monster is watching us through the trees, a chill ran through my body, sliding an ice cube down my back. I turned to look at Luna.

She was watching me, eyes narrowed, the tips of her fangs peeking out through parted lips. ‘I need blood.’

Terror took me hostage. In three seconds, I’d gone from being in denial about the predator padding around my kitchen to having every ancestral alarm bell in my psyche clanging madly. My stomach contracted, I felt hot and cold at the same time and my knees were suddenly rubber.

Smart-mouthed, cynical Luna was gone and in her place was a vampire. A creature that drank human blood – a hungry predator.

I only had one card to play. My mouth had gone totally dry and I was only partially successful at keeping the fear out of my voice. I knew she could sense it, anyway. ‘If you’re thinking about having my neck as your entrée, you’d better consider what Devereux will say. He is, as you said, some what attached to me.’

My anxiety escalated. Her intention saturated the air. I knew exactly what she meant to do.

She stood and stalked very slowly across the room, closing in on me. She locked her eyes on mine, which caused me to get the fuzzy, floating feeling that meant she was pulling me into her gaze, taking control of my mind.

I visualised the protective wall that usually kept me from drowning in other people’s energy and felt it collapse. Nothing in my repertoire could hold up against the kind of power Luna wielded.

This wasn’t vague energy. It was laser-sharp mind control.

I threw my hands up, palms out, in a reflexive action which did nothing but give her something to grab.

Pinning me against the washing machine with her lower body, she ran her hands up and down my arms, holding me still. Her silver eyes were large and foggy, as if the lights were on but no one was home. Her pointy fangs elongated as she caressed them with her tongue. She leaned in and slowly licked the side of my neck.

I braced myself for the shock of pain I was sure would come and was surprised to hear a scream.

She’d slid her hand across my chest and encountered the necklace. It had the same reaction to Luna that it had to the bald lunatic. There was a flash of light and a sensation strong enough to cause her to drop the necklace and leap away from me.

As she stood snarling, the fog in her eyes cleared and her fangs retracted into her gums.

I wrapped my arms around myself and trembled. The part of my brain that had wanted nothing more than to do what ever Luna commanded threw cold water on itself and woke up. I stared wide-eyed at the creature in front of me. She’d known about the necklace, but the bloodlust apparently didn’t waste time on frivolous details.

It was impossible for me to truly understand the craving for blood, to have blood obsession to the point of being enthralled by the need. But I’d just got a psychic encyclopaedia full of information from Luna’s mind that horrified and sickened me. Mental postcards of all the bodies she’d drained, all the destruction she’d caused, slammed into my brain.

She might not have wanted to kill me, but she would have – even if it meant Devereux would destroy her.

My body was shaking, a delayed reaction to my second near-death experience of the night.

Luna backed away and reclaimed the chair at the kitchen table, still watching me, her fists clenched. She was clearly struggling to regain control. Her eyes were dull with dark smudges underneath, her skin pasty-white.

She cleared her throat then spoke, her voice husky. ‘You’re lucky Devereux gave you that necklace. If you hadn’t been wearing it, I’d have bled you. I would’ve tried to take only enough to sustain me until I could find another source, but I probably wouldn’t have been able to restrain myself. Hunger after being wounded is the worst. There’s nothing in the human experience that comes close to being as overwhelming as the need for blood. Not even a heroin addict’s craving for a fix. I have to go and feed.’ She sighed and licked her lips. ‘Until I do, I’m a danger to you. Not that I care, but Devereux does.’

‘You’re right,’ I said, my voice still weak, ‘Devereux does care.’

Holy shit. I’m glad to have the necklace, but I’d be a fool to put all my faith in it – or in Devereux’s protection. Note to self: buy wooden stakes.

She sneered, ‘Necklace or no, even now I can’t think of anything but the taste of your blood and the pulse pounding in your neck. I’ll go and find one of my regular sources, one of my vampire addicts. It won’t take long. Then I’ll come back.’

Is that a promise or a threat?

It was probably stupid to question a hungry vampire, but I couldn’t help myself. ‘Do you mean you’re going to go kill someone?’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’ll find one of the humans who regularly donate blood and sex. Getting both my needs met at the same time seems to take the edge off.’ She stared at me with cold eyes, her voice deep and serious. ‘Don’t make the mistake of thinking that vampires are just eccentric humans who simply have a nasty little habit or two. We’re not human. We take blood from willing and unwilling victims alike. Killing is what we do. We enjoy it. All of us. You might be surprised to know what pleasure it brings me to fantasise about draining you dry.’

She rose, sauntered over and gazed at me through her thick eyelashes, a cold grin on her face. ‘In fact, you could say you and I have a date the moment Devereux dumps you.’

I started to ask another question, but she flicked her fingers dismissively and said, ‘That’s enough. If I don’t leave now, you’ll be sorry.’

She blinked out and I slid to the floor, my back against the washing machine. Exhaustion swamped me.

I woke up in sunlight, lying on top of the covers on my bed, Devereux’s voice an echo in my mind.

‘My love, Luna told me what happened last night. I am sorry I was not there to protect you. Something very strange is happening. I was tricked into journeying into a difficult reality and was intercepted once I arrived there. The power necessary for someone to deceive me is beyond any I have seen before. We must be vigilant. I will come to you as soon as I rise. Oh, yes – here is the address of your new office: 984 Lincoln Avenue, Number 505. The building manager is expecting you. Until tonight.’

A phantom vampire lover, a religious fanatic killer, and a beauty queen predator.

Just another day in undead Oz.

My first glimpse of the emergency room décor in my living room was depressing. For one brief moment I had hoped it was a bad dream and I’d find my living space just as normally cluttered and blood-free as usual.

But no.

As promised, my front door now had new locks and my illusion of safety was restored.

I spent a few minutes on the phone, interviewing cleaning services, being very up-front about the bloodstains, and settled on the one that specialised in taking ‘the jobs that nobody else wants’.

The woman started to tell me about the last crime scene they’d been hired to restore and how no one would ever have known that an entire family had been brutally murdered there and I cut her off, saying I was sure they could handle my situation. Too much information.

They agreed to come later that day.

Once showered and dressed, I decided to focus on finding another office. I wanted to make a change regardless of what my current building manager chose to do.

Unfortunately, I discovered immediately that my infamy had spread and suddenly none of the vacancies in the paper were still available after they heard my name. I couldn’t really blame them, because what property manager in her or his right mind would want to rent to someone who’d had her office recently trashed by a murderer?

Then I remembered Devereux’s mental memo. Had he said something about an office?

I closed my eyes and allowed the address he’d imprinted in my memory to resurface, then I grabbed my purse and keys and headed out, wondering briefly if my guardian vampires had really spent the night out in my yard, and if it had been Luna who’d carried me upstairs.

Cold chills ran through my body as I imagined myself sleeping and vulnerable as Luna crouched over me, maybe thinking about which vein she’d puncture first.

I drove to the address Devereux had given me, which turned out to be only a block away from The Crypt. The building was spectacular: delightfully old, it had been lovingly restored and remodelled, and now it was the crown jewel of the neighbourhood. A garage, built to blend in with the architecture of the antique building next door, sported a sign that said, ‘Parking for The Crypt and Lady Amara Only’.

The building is named after Lady Amara – Devereux’s mother?

Come to think of it, Midnight had mentioned that Devereux lived in a loft near the club. It looked like he owned the whole building.

Damn. I’d been so caught up in trying not to believe Devereux was a vampire that I hadn’t given any thought to the fact he was also a rich vampire.

I pulled into the parking garage, then walked around to the lobby entrance and stepped through the wood-framed stained-glass double doors.

Breathtaking. Gold-etched marble floors stretched out for hundreds of square feet, and just past the bank of elevators stood a large reception desk. Plush leather couches and chairs were scattered throughout the room, Devereux’s artwork filled the walls and relaxing music flowed from invisible speakers. Still gawking at the beautiful lobby, I walked to the reception desk and asked for the building manager.

The woman seated behind the desk smiled brightly and asked my name. Upon hearing it, she rose and held out her hand. As I shook it she introduced herself. ‘I’m Victoria Essex, building manager, receptionist, troubleshooter and all-round Wunderkind. I’ve been expecting you.’ She sailed her arm through the air in the direction of the elevators. ‘Right this way.’

The elevator was a mirrored affair: lovely to look at, but it might be annoying to have nothing to rest your eyes on but yourself during your ride in the box. Unless, of course, you had company, and then you had total licence to indulge your people-watching desires to your heart’s content.

I’d just given myself permission to study my companion in the mirror when the ding sounded, the door opened and we stepped into a lushly carpeted hallway. The ice-blue of the floor matched the colours in the elegant European-style wallpaper. I could easily have imagined myself in a luxury old-world hotel.

Pausing in front of a hand-carved portal, Victoria slid a keycard into a slot near the handle, the red light changed to green and the door clicked open.

There had to be some kind of mistake. This place was big enough and extraordinary enough to be Oprah’s Denver corporate office. We wandered through a space that would make a great waiting room, then entered a large, multi-room suite.

‘Isn’t it incredible?’ Victoria beamed. ‘Devereux designed the renovation of the building himself and chose the interiors for every suite.’

‘So Devereux owns this building?’

‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘This one and many others, including the gothic wonderland down the street. Have you ever been to The Crypt?’

‘I have. It’s really something. Does he live in this building?’

‘I’m sorry. Devereux gave me the impression that you two are close friends, so I just assumed you were aware of his personal details. Then again, he did tell me to answer all your questions, so yes, he keeps the penthouse as his residence.’ The charming expression returned to her face as she opened a set of double doors that led to a lovely full bathroom.

‘On the other side of the suite is a smaller bathroom, which would be perfect for your clients to use. Would you care to see it?’

He must have filled her in about my line of work. I nodded and she guided me across the expanse.

‘What other kinds of businesses have their offices here in the building?’ I asked.

‘All the businesses here belong to Devereux and his associates – they run several international corporations. Yours will be the only outside business in the building. Well, what do you think? Would you like to move in?’

‘You bet.’ I chuckled. ‘In a heartbeat. But affording the rent is another issue.’

‘Devereux told me you’d say that – he said to tell you he’ll discuss the details of the rental agreement with you personally, and I should assure you that you can easily afford the space. I’m going to leave you here for a few minutes by yourself so you can get a feel for the place.’ She took a couple of steps towards the door, spread her arms wide and spun in a circle, pointing around the empty space as she twirled. ‘Start imagining where your furniture will go. Enjoy the view of the mountains from your windows.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Oh, by the way, he also asked me to tell you that you can have the suite unfurnished or furnished. He has a huge warehouse full of couches, chairs, desks, tables, lamps, anything you might desire. Exceptional pieces. He said to let him know what you require and it will be delivered immediately.’

She stopped spinning, walked through the suite and closed the door behind her.

I laughed out loud at her joyful free-spiritedness and threw my arms out as she’d done, then let them return to my sides. If I’d ever managed to learn how to turn cartwheels in elementary school, I’d have been tempted to turn one now.

I strolled through the spacious rooms.

Of course, it was out of the question. There was no way in hell I could afford this place. The bathroom fixtures alone must have cost more than I paid for my townhouse.

But wouldn’t it be great if I could afford it? Furnished or unfurnished? I hadn’t even started to figure out how I was going to acquire new furniture to replace the broken stuff in my office. My insurance would probably reimburse me, but that could take months.

On the downside, if I moved into Devereux’s building and let him give me a rent break, I’d be obligated to him. I was sure that’s what he wanted. Where was the line between taking advantage of a good deal and losing my autonomy? What happened if I decided I didn’t want a vampire boyfriend? What if Luna was right and he dumped me? I’d have to move again.

Thinking about all that made my head hurt.

I glanced down at my feet, which had sunk deep into the rich pile of the carpet, and wondered if a rug this thick had to be vacuumed or mowed.

Then the view out the windows drew me like a magnet. From this suite’s row of windows I had a panoramic view of Colorado’s Front Range, the mountains that skirted the metro area all the way from south of Colorado Springs up to the Wyoming border. Wind clouds hovered along the tops of the peaks, signalling that the Denver area might be in for some of our famous one-hundred-miles-per-hour window-rattling, roof-lifting air blasts. If this building had been here as long as I suspected it had, it wasn’t likely to get blown away anytime soon.

Giving in to temporary insanity, I’d just dropped down onto the floor and was flailing my arms and legs and giggling, making a snow angel in the carpet, when Victoria reentered and clapped her hands.

‘I knew you’d love it!’

I was outrageously embarrassed. I was halfway to my feet when I realised she was lying on the floor with me, following my example. We laughed at ourselves and each other, spent a couple of minutes being five years old again and finally got off the floor. Then we grinned at each other. After all, our inner children had bonded.

She handed me the keycard and a business card with her information on it.

‘Devereux said I should give you the keycard so you could spend as much time in the suite as you wish before you decide one way or the other.’ She started towards the exit then turned, a wide grin on her friendly face. ‘I think he really likes you. I look forward to having you here. If you need anything just call me, any day, any time. Blessed be.’ She waved and left.

Blessed be? That was a Wiccan greeting and parting, wasn’t it? Of course Devereux had a witch as his office manager.

Did she know everything about Devereux? He must have told her something to justify the fact that he was never here during the daylight hours. He did tend to surround himself with people who were devoted to him. Maybe he secretly slept in a coffin in the basement?

I wandered around the suite for a few more minutes, stared out the window, then forced myself to head back out to the hallway. I’d apparently decided to take him up on his offer. Providing, of course, the true cost wasn’t higher than I was willing to pay.

Hallowe’en. The big news story in town was the yearly bash, which turned out to be called The Vampires’ Ball. How could I have lived here so long and never heard of it?

The event was the topic du jour on the radio. According to the legend, twenty years ago, in the foothills west of Denver, an eccentric billionaire had built a monstrously huge hotel that was designed to resemble the rich guy’s favourite Scottish castle. He’d even had a chunk of the Celtic original dismantled and shipped over for his masterpiece, in the hopes that a ghost or two might tag along for the ride.

There are lots of stories about those ghosts, which might have contributed to the failure of the hotel as a successful enterprise. Or maybe the hotel went belly-up because the billionaire lost interest in it and didn’t continue all the maintenance and upkeep required for a castle in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Whatever the reason, the castle languished – until ten years ago, when it was purchased by yet another eccentric billionaire and transformed from a hotel to an event site.

Specifically, the site for The Vampires’ Ball.

Gee. I wonder if I know any eccentric billionaires who might be attracted to a ghost-filled castle as the location for a celebration dedicated to vampires? Hmmm. Let me think.

It wasn’t enough that Devereux was a vampire who could move through thought, a wizard who travelled to other dimensions and a gorgeous hunk of godlike masculinity. Now I had to deal with the fact that he was rich and owned half the world.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream.

Devereux’s involvement aside, the gala sounded like it would draw every vampire, vampire wannabe and fan of the paranormal on this side of the Mississippi. It occurred to me that the ball would be a great place for the police to use me to capture Brother Luther.

Or whoever the hell he is.

But why would I want to do that? I wasn’t the brave type. If I couldn’t use my therapy skills to resolve a situation, I was pretty much out of my league. Now that I’d actually seen the monster up close and personal and witnessed his madness firsthand, why would I want to put myself in danger again?

Because until he was caught and put away, I was a prisoner. He could show up anytime and destroy as many offices as I could move into. In fact, that reminded me – I needed to talk to Devereux about whether or not he really wanted me in there if his incredible building could be wrecked by Vampire Satan at any moment.

Still, weighing all the pros and cons, I thought the idea of my participation in the capture was worth a phone call to Lieutenant Bullock.