“We really need to stop saying things like that.” Char sighed as they watched the elderly woman type into the computer using only her pointer fingers.
“Now.” Blanche, the owner of the cake shop, stopped typing. “What was the last name?”
“Titus,” Jake said slowly.
“Can you spell that, please?” The lady smiled, revealing a large set of teeth that looked like the perfect dentures.
“Uh, sure. T, I, T, U, S.”
“T.” She typed and looked up.
Char managed not to laugh but only barely. She had to look away.
“I.” Jake paused.
Sure enough Blanche looked up again. Holy crap, the woman would try the patience of a saint!
“T,” he continued.
“Tit?” Blanche coughed. “What kind of last name is that?”
“No, no, no.” Jake leaned over the counter. “There’s two more letters.”
“Oh!” Blanche touched her hands to her cheeks and laughed. “Dearie, I’m so sorry, this old brain doesn’t work as well as it used to!”
“Does it work at all?” Char mumbled under her breath. Jake elbowed her as he continued spelling.
“U.”
Blanche poked the U button and looked up.
Seriously. They could have baked bread in the time it took that woman to type one name.
“S.”
Both she and Jake exhaled as Blanche finally typed in the last letter and pressed enter on the computer.
They only sound in the tiny shop was the hum of the computer and the light violin music playing in the background. There were cupcakes layered in a glass box in front of the register and a few cake toppers lying around. All in all it was a really small shop.
“Oh no.” Blanche sighed.
Jake glanced at Char, and a look of complete irritation flashed across his perfect features before he said in a strained voice, “Blanche, is something wrong?”
“It’s the topper.”
“Yes?”
“The one we ordered and the one that came in are different. I tried calling the number they gave me but they never returned the call.”
“What number did you have?” Jake asked.
Blanche’s slow hands made their way across the computer. Two minutes later she was reading off a number.
“Grandma.” Char and Jake both said her name as if it was an expletive.
“Why don’t I show it to you and you can decide?” Blanche put her hand in the air. “I’ll go get it. I just need to find it.”
When she disappeared to the back, Char leaned against the counter and sighed. “By the time she gets back I’ll be too old to have children.”
“At least you won’t have all those cats.” Jake winked.
“Wow, helpful, Mr. Sensitive. Thanks.”
He shrugged and looked around the shop. “This doesn’t seem like the type of place Kacey would choose for a cake topper.”
“Tell me about it,” Char grumbled. “The dress I had to try on was awful. I swear I thought Grandma took me to the wrong shop.”
They both gasped and looked at each another.
“Do you think…?” Jake asked.
“What?” Char put her hands on her hips. “That this is some sort of sick joke and Grandma’s doing it on purpose to torture us?”
“No.” Jake shook his head. “You think?”
Char squinted and looked at the door. It was a reputable shop, and the lady did seem to have nice designs. “I don’t think she would stoop so low.”
“She faked her own death to get Kacey and Travis together. Believe me, this is exactly the type of thing she’d do.”
“Here it is!” Blanche showed up with a cake topper that looked perfectly normal. It was a couple who looked like Kacey and Travis, dancing in each other’s arms.
“Not bad.” Jake looked at Blanche. “What’s wrong with it?”
Blanche held up her hand and picked up the stand from the box then set the glass figurine down inside it.
The stand said, “Tits Forever.”
“Holy hell.” Jake swore under his breath. “We can’t take that to the wedding!”
Char covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing, then cleared her throat. “Is um, is there any way we can do it without the stand?”
Blanche looked horrified that she would even suggest it. “Without the stand?”
Char nodded.
“Without the stand?” Blanche’s eyes flared.
“Just back up slowly,” Jake whispered, grabbing Char’s hand and shielding her with his body.
“It needs the stand!” Blanche shouted. “Every figurine has a specifically made stand to sit on the cake; otherwise it sinks through. Do you want to ruin this wedding? What type of a bride are you?”
“Oh.” Char peaked around Jake’s body. “I’m not the bride.”
Blanche’s eyes narrowed. “But you’re picking up your cake topper.”
“Maid of honor.” Char raised her hand.
Blanche looked to Jake.
“I, uh,” he stuttered. “I’m the brother. Best man.”
“And you let this happen? You let them order a cake topping with the wrong spelling?” Blanche walked slowly around the counter and faced them. “What type of friends are you?”
“Bad ones,” Jake agreed. “Terrible ones.”
Blanche shook her head. “When’s the wedding?”
“Next week,” Char piped up.
“Well then, good luck telling them you won’t have a cake topper.”
“We’ll take it!” Char shouted from behind Jake.
He swung around. “It says Tits forever. No way in hell is that going on the wedding cake.”
“They need a topper!” Char argued. “You’re a guy. Can’t you just build something for the cake, so we can still use the topper they ordered? It’s really pretty. I mean when you take the ‘Tits’ out.”
Jake cracked a smile.
Char looked away again.
“Damn it.” He pulled out his credit card. “We’ll take it. Stand and all.”
“Lovely.” Blanche smiled. “I’m sure the bride and groom will love it. And if you ever need another cake topper, please be sure to keep Tops R Us in mind.”
“Over my dead body,” Jake mumbled and handed the receipt to Char while he grabbed the box and made his way out the door.
Char followed mindlessly.
They got into the car.
And laughed.
“We really shouldn’t be in charge of things,” Char finally said when she stopped laughing.
“What the hell are we going to do? If that’s the one Kacey ordered she’s going to flip if it’s wrong.”
Char shrugged. “Well, we’ll figure something out. Now let’s finish everything up. We have to leave tomorrow night.”
“Right.”
“Oh, and here.” She handed him the receipt and buckled her seatbelt.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jake swore fluently and crumpled the receipt in his hand before throwing it against the floor.
“Something wrong?”
“Yeah, that cake topper cost two grand.”
“What?” Char shrieked.
Jake smirked. “Tits sure are expensive these days.”
Char covered her face with her hands and laughed. She froze, however, when she felt Jake reach around and touch the back of her seat to back up. His hand grazed her neck. An involuntary shiver ran through her body.
“Um.” She leaned forward and grabbed the list. “Okay, now we just have to pick up Grandma’s gift.”
“Where to?”
Char squinted. “That’s weird.”
“What?”
“It’s just an address?”
Jake shrugged. “What is it? I’ll put it in the navigation.”
Char read off the address. Luckily, wherever they were going was only a few blocks away from downtown, closer to the college as well as to Queen Anne Hill.
After they turned down the right street Jake added, “I wouldn’t put it past Grandma to get them something inappropriate; just a fair warning.”
“Please.” Char rolled her eyes. “How bad could it be?”