Chapter One

Present day

“Grandma, what the hell are you doing?” Jake took in her two larger-than-life suitcases, giant pink Coach handbag, and what looked like a dead animal on her head, and cursed again.

“Language, Jake.” Grandma Nadine squared her shoulders and pushed past him to the ticket counter.

Oh no. Oh, hell no. Merciful God above. Jake looked around for Aileen, his latest conquest and plus one for the engagement party for his brother Travis.

“Yes, I need only a one-way ticket,” Grandma announced loudly to the Alaska Airlines clerk at the kiosk. Jake watched with a mixture of horror and panic as his grandmother bought a ticket on the same flight as him. Please let her credit card be declined; please, please.

“Here you go!” The evil lady handed over a boarding pass and smiled at Grandma. Jake glared at the woman and then at his grandmother.

“No.” He shook his head when she approached him, all smiles. “You aren’t coming.” He crossed his arms and stood his ground.

“I am.” Grandma waved her ticket in front of his face and smiled. “Now, get my bags.”

“But—”

“Jakey?” Aileen strutted toward him. With a skirt shorter than what should be allowed in any public place, let alone an airport, she fluffed her hair and walked next to his side. Her bleached blond hair was held up by at least two cans of hairspray, and by the looks of her inability to walk in a straight line, she was still drunk from yesterday.

Grandma smiled brightly. “How lovely! It seems your whore has arrived.”

Jake groaned and covered his face with his hands. There was no way out of it. His grandmother was going to get him shot.

A&E women scorned, here I come.

“Excuse me?” Aileen put her hands on her hips and did a weird head nod at Grandma, and nearly teetered off her high heels. Oh, this wasn’t good. Not good at all.

Grandma reached out and patted Aileen’s arm. “Sweetheart, I’m the one with hearing aids, not you. I called you a whore. Would you like me to spell it for you, too?” She nudged Jake. “What did you do? Find her at a high school career fair?” And then in a horrifyingly loud voice she began spelling. “W-H-O-R-E.”

Was his grandmother really spelling “whore” in an international airport? To his girlfriend? Sex buddy? What was she?

Shit, he didn’t even know her last name.

Probably a bad sign.

“I’ll have you know that—”

“Jake, I’m hungry. Take me to get food.” Grandma looped her arm in his and began pulling him, with more strength than an eighty-six-year-old woman ought to possess, toward security.

“But what about me?” Aileen pouted behind them.

Grandma stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Honey, I’m sure you can find another nice little plaything between now and the time your flight leaves. This one’s taken.”

Aileen snorted. “Didn’t take you for having that kind of taste.” This was directed at Jake. He opened his mouth to say, This is my grandma. Instead, Grandma smacked a large kiss on Jake’s cheek then pinched his ass.

“Oh, honey, you have no idea what this one is into.” She winked. Good God, she’d just winked and alluded to Jake as—he couldn’t even finish the thought. Horrified, he saw Aileen’s eyes widen. He opened his mouth to speak but was smacked on the ass again as his grandmother pulled him in the other direction.

Karma: It was finally coming for him. And it was in the form of an eighty-six-year-old woman with lipstick on her teeth. Hell.

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