The Warrior Challenged

10

I awoke with a start and the beginnings of panic, but the walls around me were a reddish-brown wood instead of smooth white stone, and I wasn’t alone in the room. Not far from whatever I lay on Dallan sat in comfort amid cushions, a copper-colored goblet in his hands, his sword still belted around him. That more than anything else kept me from jumping up and running, and it wasn’t until my heart had receded from my mouth that I noticed he hadn’t moved. Working at keeping me off the ceiling, I thought as I lay back again and let my muscles unclench, and a damned good thing he was smart enough to do it. One move out of him and I probably would have been able to answer Garth’s question about whether or not I could fly.

“Wenda, we must make an attempt to cease this,” Dallan’s voice came after a minute, sounding the least bit cautious. “I dislike finding myself at your side each time you awaken from pain-filled, fearful sleep. The practice is becoming upsetting. ”

“Perhaps it would be best if I were the first to make the attempt,” I answered in a rusty voice, smiling faintly at his teasing. “Your part seems far easier to arrange.”

“Not quite as easy as all that,” he said, disagreeing, and then he was beside me, smoothing my hair back with one big hand. “So Tammad’s apprehensions were correct after all. Are you able to tell me what was done to you there?”

I opened my eyes and turned my head to the man looking down at me, seeing the worry lines in his face that I’d thought I’d heard. in his voice. On reconsideration I decided that sitting around waiting for someone to regain consciousness wasn’t the most pleasant pastime in the world, and might even be harder than being the one who had gotten hurt.

“You may rest your mind, for I am completely recovered,” I began at once, starting to get into a sitting position as fast as I could to reassure him, but I didn’t make it. My body screamed out the demand as to whether I’d lost my mind, and then refused to let me have the ability to answer. All I managed was a croaking gasp and very little motion, and even that was swallowed up by Dallan’s hand on my shoulder.

“Completely recovered, are you?” he asked, the growl he refused to allow in his voice showing up in his eyes, his hand continuing to hold me down. “When I allow you to move it will only be slowly, and then for no more than a short time. Have you no concept of how badly you were whipped?”

As a matter of fact I didn’t really, but the stiffness a portion of the pain had turned into started giving me an inkling. It wasn’t going to be as easy as it had been those other times Dallan had mentioned, but it was still going to have to be done.

“I have not the time to move so slowly,” I informed him with as much firmness as I could muster while still under that big hand of his. “Last darkness I was able to do what was necessary, and this darkness I shall do the same.”

“Indeed shall you do this darkness what was done during the last,” he agreed, his tone, for some reason, rather dry. “Last darkness was spent by you in sleep, as well as all the day previous and half the darkness before that. It is now somewhere about mid-day, and you have so far had no more than meat broth in you, swallowed at the times you nearly awoke. I shall fetch you a meal, and then you will sleep again. ”

He straightened and headed for the door in the wall to the right of where I lay, and I was too upset to protest before he had disappeared through it. It was going on two days since I’d escaped from the palace, but I hadn’t done a damned thing about going back except sleep! I moved around a little where I lay, feeling the remnants of pain and the hobbling of stiffness, the strengthlessness that hadn’t quite left me and the hollowness of near-starvation, and cursed under my breath. Dallan was picturing me taking a long time to recover, but he was in for a surprise. I couldn’t afford to take my time, and had no intentions of doing so.

The room I lay in was rather small, but it was also rather pleasant. The reddish-brown paneling of the walls stopped at the wide window to the left of me, and a golden curtain colored the incoming light. The carpet-fur was also golden, and the pillows Dallan had been sitting among were red, all of it going well with the dark brown fur of my bed. Those furs seemed somewhat well-used, with the smell of salves or ointment to them, and once again I was naked under what covered me—but that terrible bronze collar was also gone. I thought about how I’d been stripped naked at that woman Roodar’s orders and I felt the anger come, building slowly toward true fury. We had a score to settle, Roodar and I, but I would need to wait before I knew how big a score. If she had hurt Tammad she would live to regret it-that I swore by everything that was right!

I stopped the fury, saving it for the next time I’d need it. That time it had already served its purpose; although there was sweat on my forehead I was sitting up straight and had gotten that way with a lot less pain than I would have had without the strong emotion I’d used as a crutch. Anger can be very useful if you handle it properly, and it was about time I learned how to handle it.

A minute later the door opened, and I was surprised to see Dallan coming back with a tray. My stomach twisted at the thought of food, and I regretted how little I’d be able to eat.

“Have you taken to conjuring?” I asked as he closed the door before starting toward me with the tray. “I had not thought it would be possible for you to prepare provender and return so soon.”

“As the mid-day meal had already been prepared and a servant was nearly here with it, I had only to take the tray,” he answered, setting the thing down on my lap. “And clearly did you fail to expect so speedy a return, else you would not have been caught in so obvious a disobedience.”

I was able to see the annoyance in his eyes before he turned away to begin gathering pillows from the carpet fur, but I didn’t understand what he was talking about.

“What disobedience do you refer to?” I asked, taking a peek at the food he’d put under my nose. There was a thick meat soup of some kind, a slab of bread, a cup of yellow pudding that was probably pure sugar, and a goblet of what seemed to be juice of some sort.

“I refer to the disobedience of having found you sitting,” he said, stuffing pillows behind my back until they were high enough to lean against. “Were you not told to remain unmoving till you had my permission to do otherwise?”

“Dallan, you continue to speak in riddles,” I protested, reaching a hand out to the goblet of juice. The hand shook slightly, but I was still able to raise the goblet with only a minimal effort. “Though I look upon you with the love of a sister and feel deep gratitude for the manner in which you aid me in my need, I am not bound to obey you. I must restore my strength with all possible speed, and mean to do exactly that. ”

I watched him over the goblet rim as I drank, seeing the annoyance increase in his eyes as he crouched beside me to my right.

“I am greatly honored that you look upon me as a brother,” he said, lacing his fingers together as he stared at me. “Also am I honored that your memabrak Tammad looks upon me the same, and therein lies the root of your confusion. In Tammad’s absence your protection is mine, therefore are you bound to obey me as you do him. In time will your strength be restored, wenda, and to hurry the matter will only cause you greater harm. You will rest and do as I say, and soon will find yourself in full health.”

“And what harm will Tammad be given the while I lie about resting?” I asked, finding it difficult to keep my anger from flaring out. “You believe I will meekly obey you the while he remains in the hands of that female? No, Dallan, do not expect it to be so, for it shall not be! I will return to that place as quickly as I am able, and woe to any who stands in my path.”

“Calmly, sister, calmly,” he soothed, worry having replaced the annoyance in his eyes. His hands came to mine on the goblet, gently trying to take it out of my grip, and I looked down to see the white on my knuckles. I’d obviously been trying to crush the life out of the goblet, a top-notch example of complete emotional control and stability.

“Perhaps you would do better urging me to intelligence rather than calm,” I said, letting him take the stupid goblet. “To waste one’s strength in anger is to throw it away before a time of true need. I shall not waste it so again, for I will soon have need of it.”

“Perhaps I would do best in now speaking of other things,” he replied, putting the goblet down and picking up the bowl of meat soup. “Eat as much of this as you are able, and then we will discuss what befell you.”

“The Chama of Vediaster befell us,” I said, taking the bowl while trying not to drool. “How is it you were in precisely the place I chose to make my escape?”

“Where else would I be’?” he asked, rising to go after the goblet he had left earlier, and returning to sit cross-legged where he’d been crouching. “I knew well enough by what gate you three had entered the palace grounds, therefore was that the gate I took up vigilance before when you failed to emerge or send word. Knowing as you all did that I was about, I reasoned that were one of you to effect an escape it would be through there so that we might find one another. When I saw you moving unchallenged through the ranks of the guards I knew you used your power, therefore did I retreat further into the alleyway to keep from being affected. I was cautiously making my way to you when you came to me instead. ”

I was too busy taking another scoopful of the thick soup to say anything immediately, and it needed to be chewed a little before it could be swallowed. If anyone had asked me just then how it was, I would have sworn it was the best thing I’d tasted in my entire life.

“I believe I should admit it had not occurred to me that you would be there,” I said as soon as I could, reaching for the slab of bread. “It was truly fortunate that I no longer had the strength to wield my power, for my mind had not entirely cleared itself, and your abrupt appearance frightened me badly. This place you brought me to is extremely pleasant. Have you-taken it for the time we will remain in the city?”

I’d wanted to ask Dallan if he’d rented the place or was boarding there, but the Rimilian language had no words or phrases to express the ideas. I remembered then what Tammad had said about there being no accommodations available for money, but Dallan was already shaking his head.

“I had need of a haven for you and also a healer, therefore was I unable to merely take you to my camtah,” he said. “I was not immediately able to remove that band from around your throat, which made choosing a healer at random an undertaking filled with peril. I required a healer who would not afterward speak of the palace slave who had been tended, and there was but a single way to discover one such as that. We are now both guests beneath the roof of Leelan.”

I stopped chewing almost in mid-bite to stare at him, but his expressionless facade told me nothing. I had more than a few reactions of my own to that revelation, but that was neither the time nor the place to expound on them.

“So we are guests of Leelan of Vediaster,” was all I said, going back to my fortifying. “And she was able—and willing-to find the sort of healer you required’?”

“When she saw what had been done to you she was taken by great anger,” Dallan said, the odd look in his eyes flickering at the admission. “Leelan seems-disapproving-of the Chama and her court, and was not reluctant to give us assistance. The healer she sent for—a quiet man who seemed quite close to her-apparently felt the same.”

“We will not impose on her generosity for long,” I said, pausing to take another swallow of the juice. “This darkness would be too soon for me, I think, yet the one after will surely be suitable. By then we shall have formed a plan, and will proceed to free Tammad and Cinnan.”

“Shall we indeed?” he said, sounding annoyed all over again. “We two alone will force our way onto the palace grounds, obtain entry to the palace itself, and then blithely proceed to free Tammad and Cinnan? The while those who stand guard merely look on and comment upon our progress? Or perhaps assist us?”

“You need not be so exasperated,” I told him with a calm glance, paying more attention to my food than to his hysterics. “The plan will see to all of your objections.”

“A plan which has not yet been formulated, but which will no doubt contain provision for the necessity of my carrying you as well as wielding a blade,” he growled, not at all happy with me. “You will not be fit to walk alone so soon, an opinion put forward by the healer which I shall, in ‘exasperation,’ take above your own. Do you believe me so skillful with a sword that this objection will be overcome?”

I took a final mouthful of the meat soup, a mouthful I was forcing on myself in an effort to more quickly increase my capacity, then finished the last of the juice. Once the goblet was down, however, I turned my head to look directly at Dallan.

“As you seriously doubt that my attempt will succeed, perhaps it would be best if you were to remain behind,” I said, speaking with absolute neutrality. “The healer cannot know when I will walk, for he cannot feel what I do. Come the darkness after this next, I will walk—and succeed.”

I wonder if explosions have to gather themselves before they can go off. If they’re anything like Dallan they do, and from the look in his eyes that was just what he was intending. He straightened where he sat, his eyes hard and furious, but before he was able to get the first word out there was a knock on the door. He wanted to ignore the knock, and probably would have if he were in his own house, but instead he called out, “Enter.”

I don’t know who I could have been expecting, but seeing Leelan walk in was something of a surprise. She hadn’t changed at all in the past few days, and was wearing her sword the same way Dallan wore his; why she should have changed was something else I didn’t know, but somehow I felt as though she should have. When she saw me sitting up it was her turn to be faintly surprised, but that didn’t stop her from closing the door and approaching my bed.

“It pleases me to see you looking so well, Terril,” she said, stopping to Dallan’s right toward the foot of the bed. “The healer was quite certain you would awaken about this time. ”

“She is far more than awake,” Dallan said, the growl even thicker, his eyes not moving from my face. “She means to attack the palace come the darkness after next, and has just informed me that, as I dared to suggest that the effort might well be extreme only for her and me, my presence will not be required after all. Perhaps you would be good enough to request the return of that healer. I would know how soon it will be permissible to beat her.”

“Not for some time, I should think.” Leelan soothed him with a badly swallowed-down grin while I bristled. “I cannot find it in me to fault her for wishing to return to the palace to take vengeance, however, for would we, ourselves, not wish to do the same, had we been done as she was? There are many who chafe beneath the rule of the present Chama, Terril, and many who would truly joy in accompanying you with bared blades, yet is there the power to consider. Farian won her place with the strength of her power, and there are none about able to match her, not to speak of besting her. No matter your determination, girl, it is simply not enough.”

“You concern yourself with the Chama Farian’s power?” I scoffed, still more than annoyed at Dallan’s attitude—and the way they were both treating me like a child. “One who falls upon others from ambush cannot be truly strong, else would the ambush have been unnecessary. I thank you for your hospitality, Leelan, yet shall I follow my own advice.”

Leelan looked momentarily upset and Dallan began drawing himself up again, but for the second time the explosion didn’t come off. The big blonde woman put a calming hand on his shoulder, then seated herself cross-legged beside him.

“I have not as yet heard how she and the others were taken-nor why,” she said to Dallan when his eyes came to her. “Has she spoken of it as yet?”

“She found too great a number of other things to speak of in its stead,” he answered sourly with a headshake, then looked at me again. “As the time of your departure draws so rapidly near, perhaps you would be kind enough to enlighten us before its arrival. We would not wish to see you gone before we were told the tale.”

“As there is very little to tell, there is scarcely a danger of that,” I said, feeling myself stiffen in response to his sarcasm. “We rode to the main gate of the palace and requested an audience with the Chama, were escorted within the palace to a room where we were to wait, and once within that room we were overwhelmed. When I awoke we had indeed been taken before the Chama-as captives and slaves. We had all been given some sort of potion, to add to whatever had felled us.”

“What felled you was the Chama’s Hand of Power,” Leelan said, her eyes angry, her right fist clenched on her thigh. “There are a number of our people with small traces of the power, incapable, of themselves, of making effective use of it. Together, however, under the guidance of Farian, five at once are frighteningly powerful. Each set of five performs only for a short time, and then is replaced with another set. They have recently begun broadcasting at a greater and greater distance from here, and that angers many of us greatly. Should it be Farian’s wish to go aconquering, the sword and spear and bow should be her weapons. To use the power is dishonorable. ”

“They attacked even before you had spoken with the Chama?” Dallan asked with a frown, while I stared at Leelan.

So that’s what that buzz was: five low-grade empaths projecting together! Even from a distance it had filtered through my curtain, and when I was right on top of it it had just about scrambled me. I’d known keeping my shield closed was a protection I needed; I just hadn’t known what I needed to be protected from.

“Wenda, for what reason were you attacked even before you had had an audience?” Dallan repeated, reaching over to touch my arm. “Were their suspicions aroused, or are all travelers done in such a manner?”

“They did not suspect, they knew,” I answered with a snort, only then really appreciating the point. “That we sought Aesnil was not in doubt, for she had been made to speak of the dark-haired, green-eyed wenda who would surely accompany those who rode after her. It was my presence which caused us to be attacked.”

Dallan stared at me with an expression of revelation-come-too-late, finally seeing how big a mistake Tammad had made in not listening to me. If he and Cinnan had shown up at the palace without me, they would have been nothing but two large, blond Rimilian l’lendaa, indistinguishable from all the rest. My presence was the equivalent of jumping up and down waving a red flag. Of course they hadn’t asked us what we wanted there; why waste time listening to lies when you already know the truth?

“You came here seeking someone?” Leelan said, looking at Dallan’s profile with confusion on her face. “I had thought the one called Tammad came to speak of the off-worlders, and you and Cinnan merely accompanied him?”

“Tammad did indeed come to speak of the off-worlders,” Dallan answered, taking a deep breath before turning his head to look at her. “Cinnan and I, however, have come seeking Aesnil, Chama of Grelana, who was taken from Cinnan in Gerleth, my own country. Aesnil wears Cinnan’s bands, and we knew not why she would depart Gerleth in the company of two wendaa from this place.”

“They mean to influence her in some manner before returning her to Grelana,” I put in, digging out the memory of what Farian had said about that. “Undoubtedly the entire matter is connected with the Chama’s plans of conquest.”

“Again with the use of the power!” Leelan snarled, fury in her eyes. “Before Farian is done, the name of Vediaster will be despised and spat upon the world over! She fouls our honor with her every act, and we are powerless to halt her! Truly do I give thanks that my mother was spared the pain of this. ”

“There are others who have not been spared the presence of pain,” I said, wishing I could get rid of the tray on my lap, finding that I leaned more heavily on the pillows behind me. “When I stand in challenge before Roodar, perhaps her Chama will attempt to intervene. Should she do so, I will see to her for you.”

“You?” Leelan snorted with contempt, her usual diplomacy lost momentarily beneath her anger, but then she realized what she’d said—and how she’d said it. “Forgive me, Terril, it was not my intention to give you insult,” she said apologetically, trying to throttle down her outrage over Farian. “You say you mean to face Roodar in challenge, yet Roodar is the finest sword among Farian’s w’wendaa, and one I, myself, burn to face. Less than two hands of darknesses ago, you asked to be taught the use of a sword; this day you speak blithely of facing Roodar, and Farian as well. Forgive me, Terril, for you are a guest beneath my roof, but the words you uttered are no other thing than foolishness.”

“I do not mean to face Roodar with swords, Leelan,” I said, too tired for insult or for apology. “That is a thing I have already done, and the lack I felt and attempted to remedy made itself known at that time. She knew I had no ability with a blade, knew I struggled in the grip of a potion and the Hand of Power, yet showed not the least reluctance to give me pain and humiliation. For that, and even more for whatever she has done to my sadendrak, she will regret the day she laid eyes upon me.”

“if not with swords, then how do you mean to face her?” Leelan asked, frowning, as if she groped for a memory. Dallan had been watching me rather closely; he took the tray off my lap and put it on the carpeting, then rose to get at the pillows behind me.

“Terril is the possessor of a skill other than sword use,” he told Leelan without looking at her, holding me up until he’d brushed the pillows out of the way, then lowered me to the bed fur. “For now, however, she is possessed even more of a need to rest and restore herself. After she has slept, we may speak with her again.”

Leelan rose to her feet with her lips parted, as though ready to argue what Dallan had said, but when she saw my face the words never came out. If I looked even half as pale as I felt I was surprised she wasn’t running for that healer, and I raged inside even as I closed my eyes. I couldn’t afford to be sick or pale or weak, and I wasn’t going to be. As soon as I got a little sleep I was damned well going to be just fine . . . .

I didn’t realize how quickly I’d gone out until I woke again, finding myself alone in an almost-dark room. Outside it was completely dark, and if not for the small single candle burning in a wall holder, I wouldn’t have been able to see anything.

I was lying face down on the bed furs, and once I was awake enough to think about that, I felt considerably encouraged. If I could turn over in my sleep I could do it awake, and turning over was a good start for bigger and better things. I was also feeling faintly hungry, another good sign of returning health. I thought about it for a while with my cheek to the fur, then decided to see how far it would go. The sooner I got myself up and moving, the easier I would find going back to the palace.

With that in mind I pushed my way up to sitting, but doing it didn’t turn out to be easy. I’d been whipped seven times that I could remember, worked hard for long hours, assaulted by men, and kept just short of starvation level, but the worst part of all that seemed to be the day and a half I’d lain unconscious. The stiffness I felt was nearly crippling-worse than I could remember the pain alone being—and something had to be done about it. I hated wasting the energy and strength, but pain control was the only answer.

I haven’t often had the time or opportunity to wonder about pain control, and sitting and hurting in that small dark room didn’t encourage me to start, but one thought did come to me. When I used the ability on other people their pain actually seemed to disappear somewhere, but when I used it on myself all I did was hold the pain at bay for a while. It occurred to me I’d be a lot better off if I could do to myself what I did to others, and that at least trying to do the same would scarcely hurt and would help no end if I managed to pull it off. I sat sideways on the bed furs with both arms braced to hold me up, my body covered in sweat despite the cool air coming in through the window, and began to try.

Turning your awareness inward means withdrawing it from your surroundings, so it wasn’t until I blinked back out into the small dim room that I realized I wasn’t alone. Not having seen Leelan come in meant she just about materialized where she stood not far from me, and I nearly jumped in startlement.

“Excuse me, Terril, it was not my intention to intrude,” she said at once, raising one hand in a calming gesture. “I came to bring an evening meal, and to rouse you for it if you had not yet awakened. It had not occurred to me that rousing might be necessary even though you had indeed already awakened. ”

She gave me a smile with a good deal of effort behind it, trying to make light of something that had probably shaken her, and I wished I had the nerve to lower my shield and touch her mind. I was finally learning that to guess about what other people were feeling was a particularly excellent form of stupidity, but in spite of that the temptation remained.

“I was-attempting to ease the pain I felt,” I said, looking away from her as I swung my legs off the bed to the carpet fur. “Surely Dallan spoke to you of the matter?”

“The seetar Dallan said naught,” she said as I struggled to my feet, still feeling rocky and aching, but finding most of the rest of the pain gone. “He informed me that the matter was not his to discuss, and continued to maintain so despite my assurances that my curiosity was far from idle. He is stubborn and thick-headed, that one, and impossible to reason with. ”

I pushed my tangled hair back from my face and looked up at her, surprised to see that annoyance had entirely replaced the uneasiness in her. And on second thought it might not have been uneasiness she’d felt, not if she hadn’t known what I was doing.

“That description seems suitable for every man of this world I have ever met,” I commented, feeling faint amusement for the first time in too many days. “What is it you wished to know?”

“What I wished to know,” she echoed, this time embarrassed as she looked down at me. “How much more easily that question is managed, when put to another! You are a guest beneath my roof and one who has had harm at the hands of my people, and yet- What is the ability you possess, the ability spoken of by both Dallan and yourself? Do you possess a kind of power?”

She was staring at me so intently I didn’t know what to think, but I was still aching too much to be bothered with hiding behind a lie. If it was the truth Leelan wanted, that’s what she would get, but first I moved myself over to the tray she’d put on the carpet fur, and sat down beside it.

“I do not possess a kind of power,” I said, taking the goblet from the tray to find more of the fruit juice I’d been hoping for. “I possess much the same power as Farian, yet am I likely a good deal stronger than she.”

“Such is not possible,” Leelan protested, bringing her stare with her as she sat opposite me on the carpet fur, her hand automatically settling her sword out of the way. “Were you possessed of the power, there would have been no need of my assisting you the darkness we met. Also would I have felt the power within you rather than the complete emptiness I feel at this very moment, for I am able to know of such a thing in others. I have little of the ability myself, yet am I able to feel it in others.”

Again I was surprised, but this time at the bitterness behind the last of her words. The big blonde woman sounded as though she felt herself a disappointment to those around her, as though she were less than she should be and was manfully—or womanfully-admitting the lack even while she bitterly regretted it. I let the tangy juice wet my mouth and throat with a couple of swallows, then shook my head at her objections.

“You cannot at the moment perceive me for I have shielded my mind,” I told her, reaching for the thick chunk of bread on the tray to see what the greasy-looking yellow substance on it might be. “At the time we met I was curtained rather than shielded, yet does the curtaining apparently serve to keep others from knowing what truly lies behind—and me from knowing what strength others possess save that I strive to know. I had not known of your ability before you spoke of it, nor was I able to gauge Farian when I was in her presence.”

“And the reason that you required my aid?” she asked, watching me without expression while I tasted the bread. The yellow coating on it was greasy, but not too heavily so and was also both sweet and faintly salty. I didn’t know what it was, but it certainly made the coarse bread taste better.

“I required the aid of another for the reason that I felt it wrong to harm someone with my power,” I said when I’d swallowed the bite of bread and had taken another sip of the juice. “To attack from a direction none might see and protect themselves against seemed evil to me, a doing fit only for a creature entirely without honor. I would have accepted pain and hurt to keep from becoming a creature of that sort but, apparently for some, creaturehood is impossible to avoid. When once I have regained my strength I will face Roodar in such a way, and I feel not the least sense of guilt at the intention. ”

I finished my own confession while staring at the bread and juice I held, aware of the intense blue eyes on me but unable to meet them. It hurt quite a lot to simply admit that I was a monster after all, but I was tired of trying to lie to myself. If Roodar had hurt me alone she might have gotten away with it, but her including Tammad in on that had killed the possibility forever.

“I cannot believe that good fortune of this sort would smile just when it was so badly needed,” Leelan said slowly after at least a full minute of absolute silence, her voice growing warmer and more enthusiastic the longer she went on. “Terril! You are surely the answer we have sought so long, yet must I be certain. You must open your mind to me, so that I may feel it as it is!”

I had to look up at her at that point, but looking didn’t increase understanding. Her pretty face was covered with an eagerness I couldn’t quite understand, and there wasn’t a trace of fear or disgust.

“You would know exactly what manner of creature you consort with?” I asked, telling myself I wasn’t being defensive. “You may accept my word that you are far better off not knowing.”

“Do not speak foolishly, girl,” she answered impatiently, gesturing aside what I’d said. “The sort of creature you refer to is well known to me, for I have known Farian for quite some time. One with the power is a creature only when she considers none save herself, only when the very meaning of honor is beyond her. To believe oneself an honorless creature is to be nothing of the sort, for the true creature cannot see herself in such a way. Now, show me the quality of your mind! It is vital that I know what strength you have!”

Her expression had changed to one of stern command, the sort I was used to seeing only in the men of that world. What she’d said had confused me, almost as much as the way she flitted from emotion to emotion. I was very reluctant to do as she ordered, but capitulation turned out to be easier than refusal.

“Ah,” she breathed when I let my shield dissolve after making myself feel a need for the curtain. She was able to sense part of my mind that way, and I was able to sense the droning buzz of the Hand of Power. Knowing what it was let me analyze the buzz, and I found it to be a leakage from a concerted projection aimed elsewhere than at the city it originated from. The leakage showed it to be a roiling combination of dissatisfaction and impatience and anger with overtones of depression, and I wasn’t surprised it had made me sick when I’d first been exposed to it. That sort of combination was enough to make anyone sick, especially if they didn’t know it was coming at them.

“And that is the extent of it?” Leelan asked after a moment, trying not to let her disappointment show through. I could feel her mind gently reaching out toward mine, probing at the curtain she apparently couldn’t perceive. She seemed to be using only a small part of herself, and although I didn’t know why, she was still much too open and exposed.

“No, that is not the extent of it,” I answered, bracing myself to be totally unprotected. “Pull your mind back, and lessen your perceptions a bit,”

Leelan was confused but did as she was told, and only then did I allow the curtain to leave me. If I hadn’t been feeling so wildly out of sorts the caution wouldn’t have been necessary, but even so the big woman winced as her eyes widened. Ever since I’d awakened the first time my mind had been raging against the inside of my shield, and I hated to think what it must look like to her.

“Mother of us all!” she gasped, her sun-bronzed face paling, one hand going to her head. “Never have I felt such strength, such range, such-Terril, you are a—a—”

“Monster or Prime, take your choice,” I muttered as I snapped my shield closed again, cutting off the clanging of her shock. Since the words were in Centran she didn’t understand them, but I don’t think she would have heard me even if I’d spoken Rimilian.

“The others will have to be shown,” she said in her own mutter, putting a second hand to her head as well. “Should I attempt to seek their belief without, they will immediately send for Hestin out of fear for my balance. No more than three of them will be able to experience her, yet together they and I will surely find it possible to convince the others. I will send for them tomorrow, at first light, and then we shall at last be able to—”

Her words cut off as her eyes finally saw me, and her grin was part embarrassment. It also came to her then that her hands were still at her head, and she pulled them down with a laugh of pure enjoyment.

“Terril, my honored guest, once again I must ask your forgiveness,” she said, trying to get rid of the grin even though it didn’t want to leave. “To speak of the joy you have given me would take one far better versed in our tongue than I. For now let me say only this: when you return to the palace of the Chama, there will be many others to stand with you. We have long awaited one who was a match for Farian, and now, thanks be to the mother of us all, we have one so far her superior that there is no comparison. Where you lead, there we will follow.”

“You mean to follow me?” I asked in shock, feeling as though someone had switched worlds on me while I wasn’t looking. “Do you mistake me for a warrior?”

“A l’lenda?” she repeated, laughing at the word I’d used. “No, Terril, not a l’lenda, yet surely a w’wenda, in each and every sense of the word. W’wenda is no more derived from the presence of sword skill than is l’lenda; one who is w’wenda or l’lenda will develop sword skill, yet does the calling come long before that. A warrior must first be born, and then may he or she be trained.”

“I must surely have damaged your mind with mine,” I told her flatly, putting the piece of bread back on the tray. “There are those about who are fit to be followed, yet I am not one of them. Were you not able to see that when I swept the curtain aside?”

“Perhaps I saw more than you know,” she said, the grin now gone, calm assurance strong in her eyes as she leaned slightly forward. “What I saw was one with a very great anger in her, and one with a worry equally as great. Had Farian the strength which you possess, she would surely have already begun to claim the world. Is the world yours, or do you perhaps mean to claim it soon?”

“For what reason would I wish this world?” I asked, the sourness I felt clear in my voice. “Were it to become mine, I would have the possession of uncounted numbers of stubborn, thick-headed l’lendaa who are impossible to reason with. Do you think me bereft, that I would seek a difficulty such as that?”

“Truly are you wiser than I had at first thought, Terril,” she said with a laugh, the grin back again. “Few would have the ability to see the matter so clearly, and then would be faced with unexpected and unsought-for largesse. You have power and conscience and wisdom; what more might be asked for in a leader?”

“The desire to lead,” I pronounced, taking another swallow of my juice. “Had I not known this discussion was idle, it might well have upset me. As I shall return to the palace the darkness after this one, however, I need not be concerned over leadership. Armed forces cannot be raised so quickly.” Then I eyed what was in my goblet. “And before that I must somewhere find a wine worth drinking.”

“I have heard it said by those with a weather eye, that the new day will bring us rain to last throughout the darkness,” she commented, looking so undisturbed that her eyes twinkled. “Also, you have not been given wine for you are not yet permitted it; fast you must return to health. Eat your meal, girl, and then return to your furs; you must sleep well this darkness, for the new day will bring many occurrences.”

“I had thought the new day was to bring rain?” I said, feeling more and more annoyed at all the fun she was having. “And I find that I have had enough of that meal, so the tray may be returned at any time you wish. I will, of course, seek my furs as soon as weariness descends upon me.”

“Oh, of course,” she agreed with a solemnity her eyes failed to share, nodding but not moving from where she sat. “Though it grieves me to disagree with a guest beneath my roof, these things cannot be as you wish them. Soon you will indeed be left to the peace of solitude, yet for the moment—” She broke off at the sound of a knock, then grinned as she immediately rose to her feet. “As ever, precisely on time.”

As she headed for the door I wondered what she was talking about, then found out all too quickly. Opening the door showed two men, one of them Dallan, one a stranger, and they didn’t wait to be invited in. They simply stepped through the doorway, the stranger entering first with a faint, highly perplexed frown on his face, and it suddenly came to me that I was sitting there absolutely naked! Hastily putting the goblet back on the tray, cursing Leelan under my breath for not warning me, I began to scramble to my feet to get to covers. Although there wasn’t much scramble to it I did manage to stand, and then the stranger’s hand was on my arm, obviously in an attempt to support me.

“What is the meaning of this, Leelan?” he asked my hostess, holding my arm to keep me from getting back to the bed. “For what reason has she been made to leave her furs?”

“She has not been made to leave them, Hestin,” Leelan answered with continuing calm, looking up with a smile at the man who held me. “Terril has left her furs of her own accord, having felt considerably better, and now refuses the provender I have brought. Beyond two swallows of bread and three of juice, she wishes no more of it.”

“Completely unacceptable,” the man called Hestin stated, looking down at me with steady blue eyes while I glared at Leelan. She’d told on me without the slightest hesitation, and did no more than grin at my silent promise to get even.

“Indeed is such a thing unacceptable,” Dallan agreed from where he stood to Hestin’s right, between the newcomer and Leelan, his disapproval even sharper. “Now that we are here, it shall quickly be set to rights.”

“There is but one thing I wish set to rights,” I said, finding it difficult not to feel like a naughty child among grown-ups. “Release my arm immediately, for I wish to cover myself.”

I looked at the man Hestin as I spoke, really trying to ignore the others, and was therefore able to see his surprise.

“You need not feel disturbed over my presence, wenda,” he said, beginning to move me very slowly back to the bed. “There is no call for embarrassment for I am a healer, and have come for no other purpose than to see how you fare. Sit here now, and I will assist you in lying down.”

“I need no assistance, nor do I wish to lie down,” I said, pulling out of his grip as soon as it loosened, this time managing to scramble successfully. As soon as I had the cover fur over me I looked up at him again, ignoring the new surprise he showed. “What I would find joy in having is solitude for I also have no need of a healer.”

“Indeed do you seem so far improved that I am amazed,” he said, crouching so that his handsome face was more nearly on a level with mine. “As to your continuing need for a healer, that remains to be seen. I will first know how you truly fare, and then the decision will be made. Put the fur aside so that I may examine you.”

There was a deep sense of quiet and calm in him that I could feel even with my shield closed, and his blue eyes reflected that for all the world to see. He was big and blond as were most Rimilian males and he wore a dark blue haddin, but above it he had on a long, wide-sleeved, open-fronted gray robe, and there was no sword belted around his waist. In calm consideration there was nothing about him at all alarming, but for some completely undefined reason I still felt vaguely uneasy.

“Perhaps you misunderstand,” I said, trying hard not to be insulting. “You have my thanks for having aided me when I required it, yet I no longer require such aid. I, too, have some measure of healing ability, and prefer now to see to myself.”

“For what reason does my presence disturb you?” he asked, just as though I’d spoken my feelings aloud, his calm quiet untouched and undisturbed. “There is a trembling I feel deep within you, one which was not present when first I tended you, one which has naught to do with the marking of your body. The trembling is a recognition of sorts, I believe, yet not of myself. Whom do you see when you look upon me, treda?”

“I see no one,” I answered immediately, too deeply upset to resent being called, “girl child,” trying to hide the fact that I was lying. He did remind me of someone, someone I couldn’t dredge up from my memory, but someone I also couldn’t forget.

“You should not have exerted yourself so far, treda,” he said, raising one big hand to smooth my hair, his eyes unmoving from my face. “Your lovely cheeks have paled, and the trembling has now come to your hands. You must know well enough that you have no cause to fear me. I have come to bring healing rather than hurt, and shall certainly do you no harm.”

He smiled then, a warm, encouraging smile, and suddenly I knew exactly who he reminded me of. I closed my eyes as the pain and illness rose high, and wished I had the ability to make myself instantly unconscious.

“The knowledge has now returned to you,” Hestin said, no doubt at all in the statement, a comforting sense of support in his voice. “Lie back now, until you are able to speak of it. ”

I felt his hands easing me back onto the bed furs, and then I was lying flat on my tangled hair, my eyes still closed, my hands still tight on the fur spread over me. It was really too warm to be covered in furs, and the smell of ointments and salves was still more alien than familiar; right then I was more homesick for Central than I could ever remember being. On Central my abilities were usually taken away from me, suppressed by conditioning, and that’s what I missed more than anything else.

“You begin to exert control over the thing,” Hestin said with quiet approval, his big hand smoothing my hair. “Soon you will be able to speak of it, and once spoken of it will disturb you no longer.”

“You are mistaken,” I answered in as steady a voice as I could manage, opening my eyes to look at his face. Hestin did look like him, quite a bit, but the differences were what really counted. There was no true ability for violence in the healer, not the way there was in a warrior, but there was less of a difference between healer and warrior than there was between Hestin and him.

“Mistaken in what manner?” Hestin asked, and I discovered that his calm and quiet patience were beginning to rub me the wrong way.

“Mistaken in believing that to speak of the thing will bring forgetfulness,” I said, shaking my head against his hand in an effort to make him take it away. “When the memory ceases to give me pain, it then brings anger. I would appreciate your leaving me now.”

“You return to yourself so quickly,” he observed, ignoring me again in favor of what he was interested in. “Despite the hurt given your body your spirit remains untouched, and reasserts itself as the need arises.”

“What you see as spirit, I see as temper,” I told him, holding his blue eyes with no effort at all. “Should you persist in remaining here to spout philosophical observations, that temper will quickly rise even higher than it currently stands. I now politely ask you to leave for a third time; should I find the need to ask again, the request will contain no politeness whatsoever.”

“Terril, do not,” Dallan began in upset, taking one step forward, and, “Hestin, take care not to provoke her!” Leelan said in a matching upset, and their individual but almost identical reactions finally got through to the healer the way my own efforts hadn’t. He turned to look at them both over his right shoulder, his brows raised in surprise and questioning, and Leelan, after a glance at Dallan, found a shrug to send back.

“The girl possesses more of the power than any I have ever seen,” she explained, sounding almost apologetic. “I feel certain she would not harm another unless provoked and perhaps not even then, and yet—I also feel that her word has not been idly given. Perhaps we would do best in leaving her now.”

“How strange that I feel no least vestige of the power in her,” Hestin said, turning back to put those clear, innocent eyes on me again. This time it was Leelan he was ignoring, still using that sense of mystical wisdom to get his own way, and I’d had enough of it. It looked like everyone else around him was impressed, but I wasn’t.

This time I simply dropped my shield without bothering with the curtain, automatically resisting and ignoring the leakage from the Hand of Power. Doing it while flat on my back was fractionally easier, but only because I still had to pay attention in order to stay upright. Leelan drew her breath in softly, her mind excited and pleased despite her nervousness; Dallan hovered with faint disturbance, and Hestin-Hestin’s eyes suddenly went wide as he stared down at me. He wasn’t in any way reading or receiving me and I couldn’t really tell what he was doing, but in some way he was even more completely aware of my abilities than Leelan.

“Are you able to feel some vestige now?” I asked, still looking up at him. “To fail to display a sword is not to imply lack of sword skill.”

“Now I am not alone in spouting philosophical observations,” he said, exercising that pretty smile again. “You do indeed possess a power beyond any I have ever sensed, treda, yet does such a power not preclude the need to be tended. You have done much toward healing yourself, yet is there only so much one may do for oneself. I would see what remains to be done.”

His blue eyes were no longer wide, and suddenly I became very much aware of the mind behind those eyes—which almost caused me to gasp. As quiet and calm as Hestin was on the outside, that’s how hard and unbending he was within him, a man whose mind absolutely refused to take no for an answer. When it came to tending the sick or hurt, he obviously considered himself the only one capable of doing it right, and that was a burden he enjoyed carrying. His easygoing outer manner seemed to be a buffer between his rigid and uncompromising inner self and the people he had to tend, something that let him do what he had to without adding to the bruises his patient might have. His mental set was pure Rimilian male, even more intense than Tammad’s, and I hated to think what I’d have to do to stop him or change his mind.

“You were not raised in Vediaster,” I said, knowing it for a fact. His mind was unaffected by mine, but unfortunately the reverse wasn’t working out as well.

“No, I was not raised in Vediaster,” he agreed, the quiet of his voice an odd contrast to what I was getting from his thoughts. “My first home was far from here, yet a healer goes where he must, where he feels himself needed. This city is now my home, and those within it my responsibility. Lie still, treda.”

His big hands went to the fur covering me to toss it aside, and no matter how strong the power I was the possessor of, there was nothing I could do to stop him. No matter how much I hated the idea I’d been taught to obey l’lendaa on that world, and Leelan had been absolutely right: l’lenda and w’wenda came from within, independent of the presence or absence of sword skill.

“Do not squirm about so,” Hestin said absently, his hands and attention on my right side. “To be seen unclothed by others is an inadequate cause for shame, treda, most especially for one such as you. Your body must surely give your memabrak a great deal of pleasure. Turn now to your belly.”

I turned over as directed, but mainly to hide the hot flush I could feel in my cheeks. His words had brought the hum in Dallan’s mind to my attention, which in turn pointed up the distracted but very definite hum that was Hestin’s. To take my mind off that I tried to follow what was occupying the healer so completely, and ran smack into something I’d never seen before.

The pain control that I was capable of worked exclusively on the mind where, after all, pain is recognized and therefore felt. Hestin, on the other hand, concentrated only on the body, the place where the actual damage was, and did nothing in the way of easing pain or accomplishing healing. What he seemed to be doing was gauging the actual hurt, seeing how deep it went, and checking on whether or not natural healing had already begun. He didn’t have to guess about what was wrong with somebody, somehow he knew beyond all doubt, but how it worked was something I had no idea of. He had a physical sensing ability rather than a mental one, and I wondered if all healers on that world had the same.

“Remain as you are, treda, for you must now be salved,” Hestin said, apparently finished with the examination. It hadn’t taken him long, that was for sure, but getting the salve put on wasn’t nearly as easy and painless. By the time he got around to the front of me I had other things to think about besides who might be watching, and it took the actual sight of Leelan’s drawn face to remember I hadn’t closed my shield again. She didn’t seem to understand that she was picking up my pain on her own rather than catching an accidental leakage, and I knew I’d have to talk to her about that once I’d had some rest. In the interim I let the shield form again, and tried to ignore the sweat on my forehead.

“And now, treda, we must speak, you and I,” Hestin said after another minute, putting the salve aside and replacing the cover he’d thrown off me. “You have a great power, greater than any I have ever sensed, yet are you no more capable of true healing with your power than I am with mine. Should you continue on as you have been doing, you may well fail to survive.”

Getting the salve put on was the painful part, but once it was on it took care of the pain as well as accelerated healing. By that time I was able to look at him again, where he crouched to the right of my bed.

“I am scarcely so badly hurt that I need fear for my life,” I said, glad I couldn’t touch his mind any longer. “The mistreatment I was given was painful, yet not permanently damaging.”

“A small hurt, improperly cared for, may easily become a large one,” he said, and now he was looking more stern than patient. “You have thrown off a good deal of the pain from your awareness, yet the cause of that pain remains unchanged, the hurt remains unhealed. You move about with no more than small difficulty because you have put the pain from you, not because you have begun to regain your health. Should you continue pushing yourself so, the wounds will worsen rather than heal.”

“I have not the time it would take to regain my full health,” I told the hardened blue eyes staring down at me, understanding exactly what he was saying but not giving a damn. “The longer I spend awaiting my own health, the less of it will be left to one who lies elsewhere. Sooner than lose him I will spend my own life, happily and without concern. Should I succeed in freeing him and myself surviving, there will then be ample time for rest.”

“You are completely determined,” he said, more observation than criticism, and then those blue eyes turned gentle again. “There are indeed certain things worth far more than life, and a man must be a fool not to acknowledge this. I, hopefully not a fool, shall not attempt to shake your determination, yet are there other matters I shall not be denied in. For the time you remain under my care you will obey me completely, and then, perhaps, there will be one who survives to rest.”

He finally straightened out of his crouch then, trailed by the stares of Dallan and Leelan as he walked to the food tray I’d abandoned; although Dallan didn’t seem very happy, I couldn’t tell whether Leelan was upset or amused.

“She means to return to the palace during the next darkness, Hestin,” the big woman from Vediaster said as she watched the healer coming back toward me with a bowl. “Do you agree with that decision as well?”

“We shall see,” he answered, stirring around whatever was in the bowl before helping me sit and beginning to feed me with the scoop. “Likely I shall not permit it, but we shall see.”

My mouth was too full of the finely chopped fish stew to put my own comments into the running, but that didn’t really bother me. When it was time to go I would go, no matter anyone else’s opinions to the contrary.

Hestin fed me most of the fish stew, insisted I take a little more of the bread, then brought over a cup of the same yellow pudding I hadn’t been able to eat that afternoon. I really had no desire for the pudding but I got half of it shoveled into me anyway, in the process discovering I’d been right about its being almost pure sugar. About then I also discovered I couldn’t sit up any longer, and I must have been out even before Hestin eased me flat.

I felt as though I’d been sleeping for some time before the soft voice pulled me out of it, and it didn’t pull me out all the way. It was almost like being awake and asleep at the same time, and that was just what the voice was saying.

“You will awaken no more than is necessary to speak with me, treda,” it said, totally undemanding yet totally undeniable. “Do you understand what I say?”

“I understand,” I agreed at once, turning toward the voice without opening my eyes. There was a big, hard male body accompanying the voice just as I knew there would be, and I immediately began snuggling up to it.

“I am not the one you believe me to be, treda,” the voice said as a hand stroked my hair, faint amusement coloring its tone. “I have come for no more than the answers I seek. Tell me of the one brought to your thoughts by the sight of the healer.”

The voice was undeniable, but I didn’t want to tell it what it had asked me. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable in the furs and tried to turn away from the voice, but an arm didn’t let me. It held me up against the big, hard body, making sure I stayed on my left side, holding me still for the hand that continued to stroke my hair.

“You need not be reluctant to speak of it, little one,” the voice pursued, understanding and compassion filling it completely. “I am already aware that you were given to men for their use, and that the use was far from pleasant. Tell me of the one whose memory brought you such pain that I was able to know of it without touching you.”

“He was my master,” I whispered, reaching for my throat to find what had once been there—but no longer was. “He was in truth but one of my masters, and yet he made himself the leader where I was concerned.”

“And he gave you hurt because he was your master?” the voice asked, speaking gently despite the hidden edge. “He found pleasure in doing you so?”

“He found pleasure in attempting to give me pleasure, yet he knew not what he did,” I answered, seeing again, behind closed eyelids, that beautiful, eager face. “He knew nothing of the strength of his passion, of the pain and frustration which was given me by his vigor. He was a child, and thought I had pleasure from him and the others. He-directed and taught the ones who desired me.”

“Directed and taught-! What manner of men were these?” Now the voice sounded confused, as confused as I had been, but confusion no longer bothered me.

“They were slaves and likely born so,” I said, again feeling that terrible pain. “Born and raised to be no other thing than innocents, to be denied all knowledge and mighthave-beens. They each of them held me down to use me, yet did I feel that it was I who stole innocence, I who soiled the purity of souls. Their minds, their thoughts—I could not bear it and yet I was made to bear it, to feel the pitiful efforts of those who will never be whole. They gave me pain, thinking they gave pleasure—and I knew and could not speak of it—they were forever lost and cannot be saved- Please come back to me, Tammad! Please hold me, sadendrak!”

“I will hold you,” the voice whispered, so unsteady that I heard its raggedness even above my sobbing. It hurt so much to know that that might have been done to anyone, even my beloved or the flesh of my flesh, and the arms holding me tight were my only brace against being overwhelmed. I do not despise slaves, my beloved had once said, I merely despise those who make slaves. I, too, hated those who made slaves, hated them and wanted to see them dead. My sobbing continued for a short while, the pain most clearly shared by another, and then the voice told me to sleep, which I had no difficulty in doing.