The Will

Chapter Sixteen Delighted

My thumb at Jake’s nipple rubbing, my other hand wrapped around the side of his neck, my forehead to his, our heavy breaths mingling, his hand at my breast, thumb rubbing, other hand at my hip gripping, his back up against his headboard, knees cocked behind me, I was riding him and doing it fast.

“Jake,” I whispered urgently because it was building.

“Hurry, baby,” he whispered back.

“Jake,” I breathed.

“Faster, Josie,” he grunted.

I went faster.

Harder.

Oh yes.

That was better.

He rolled my nipple with his thumb and forefinger, tugging it gently at the same time.

I gasped as that shot straight from my breast to between my legs and moved faster.

Harder.

Oh yes.

It was building.

“Darling,” I panted.

“Fuck me,” he groaned. “Give me that pussy.”

I did, grinding down and his hand at my breast squeezed as my head shot back, my hand clenched his neck and my climax powered through me.

Jake wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me down and his hand at my breast slid up my chest, around my neck and into my hair. He forced my face in his neck as he buried his in mine just before I heard his deep groan.

I breathed against his skin, feeling his breaths whisper against mine, the sensation tingling along my skin, down my spine, over my bottom and between my legs. I liked the feel so much I squeezed him with my sex.

Jake emitted another soft groan as his arm around me tightened.

“Love that pussy,” he whispered against my neck.

I was so glad he did.

We stayed close, connected for long moments as our breaths quieted. Then I kissed his neck.

Jake wrapped both arms around me and slid me off, lifting me and turning me so I had my back to the bed, head to the pillows. He stayed leaned in deep, kissing me above the hair between my legs, then my belly, up between my breasts, up and again at my throat, under my chin then he brushed his mouth against mine before he whispered, “Be back.”

“All right.”

I watched his sated eyes smile before he touched his mouth to mine again and rolled away, tossing the covers over me when he did and then I watched him walk to the bathroom.

I was in his bed.

It was the morning after he showed me around the club.

We were at his house because I’d set my alarm criminally early but I did it so I could be waiting outside the back door at the gym when he arrived.

I’d watched his truck pull in and marveled how he parked, doing it with his eyes on me the entire time.

He got out and when he was walking to me, I called haughtily, “See? I can get up early and open the gym.”

He didn’t reply. He didn’t even say hello.

He swept me in his arms and I saw his huge, white smile before he took my mouth in a deep, long, wet kiss.

Then he took us into the gym, opened up, turned on the lights (all of this I watched closely for when it was my turn) and when the first man walked through the doors, he stated, “On your own, John. You need anything, call,” and we were out the door, in his truck and headed to his house.

The kids were still there when we arrived.

Ethan was ecstatic to see us return. It was then I learned the alarming news that the high school started at eight o’clock, Ethan’s school at eight thirty so he had to “hang” with this teacher who was “lame” and some other kids who were “losers” for a half an hour when Conner or Amber had to take him to school. He was delighted he didn’t have to do that.

He didn’t. Jake and I took him to school.

But when I learned this news, I turned to Jake and raised my brows.

He burst out laughing.

Ethan, Amber and Conner looked between us, all their expressions confused.

Jake didn’t explain.

Neither did I.

After dropping Ethan, Jake took me back to his house whereupon he pulled me up two flights of stairs, right to his bed, and started the festivities.

Culminating just now.

I watched him saunter back into the room, lift up the covers and then he was sliding in beside me. Half a second later, he was sliding my body on top of his and gliding one hand down to cup the cheek of my behind while he wrapped the other arm around me.

“Right,” he began, “I dig the demonstration you can meet me at the gym but only so I can drag your ass back here, take my kid to school then drag your ass up here and fuck you in my bed.”

“Hmm,” I mumbled, finding my demonstration important for other reasons he should get.

“So how about we plan on doin’ that every day?” he suggested.

“That would negate you being able to sleep in, Jake,” I pointed out.

“Babe, you give me the choice of sleepin’ or fuckin’ you, I’m gonna pick fuckin’ you.”

Although I liked his choice, I still glared at him.

“You don’t like that plan?” he asked.

“I’m trying to be helpful.”

His arm around me slid up until his hand was in my hair. He used it to bring my face closer to his and said, “You are, baby. We’re gonna take a nap right about now and after comin’ hard with you ridin’ me hard and fast, I’m gonna sleep fuckin’ great.”

I perked up.

“We’re going to take a nap?”

“Yep.”

I could use a nap. We’d left the club after one in the morning and I was up at five thirty to shower, dress and get to the gym.

“I could nap,” I told him and he smiled.

Then he rolled me, kissing my throat before he lifted his head. “Right. Nap. Up. Shower. Lunch. Then I gotta get to the gym to make sure no one came in and cleaned me out.”

Again, I was alarmed. “Is that a worry?”

He chuckled and said, “No, babe.”

“Oh,” I replied. Then I told him, “I’ve already taken a shower.”

“You’re gonna take another one.”

“I don’t need another one.”

He pressed into me, his face got close and his voice got low. “You’re gonna take another one.”

“Oh,” I repeated. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he replied, then commanded audaciously, “Now shut up and sleep.”

My eyes narrowed. “Telling someone to shut up is rude.”

“Babe,” he returned.

“And ordering an adult to sleep is preposterous,” I went on.

“Babe.”

“Babe?”

“Babe.”

“Is that your response?” I asked.

“No, my response is, babe, shut up and sleep but I already said that so I condensed it to just babe ‘cause that’s easier to say and might not piss you off.”

“I can’t read all that in babe, Jake.”

“You’ll learn to read my babes.”

Annoyingly, I was looking forward to doing that.

I didn’t share that with Jake.

I kept glaring at him.

His eyes were smiling when he bent in and kissed me, not a mouth brush this time, it was deeper, sweeter and much, much longer.

Jake ended it having turned us to our sides. We were pressed close with legs tangled in a delicious way. And after he ended it, he pulled me down and pressed my face into his throat.

“Now, babe, sleep,” he ordered.

“All right,” I gave in.

He kissed the top of my head.

I cuddled closer, held on tighter and within moments, I slept.

* * * * *

I was sitting on the counter watching Jake warm up a can of soup when my phone in my purse rang.

Jake twisted, grabbed my purse off the counter of the island, twisted back and plopped it in my lap.

I dug out my phone on a murmured, “Thank you, darling,” and saw the call was from Amber.

My eyes went to his.

“Amber,” I told him, taking the call, looking at my purse in my lap and putting the phone to my ear. “Hello, sweetheart,” I greeted.

Instantly, I yanked the phone from my ear when she shrieked, “You’ll never guess what just happened!”

When I felt it was safe, I put my phone back to my ear and asked, “What?”

But I heard nothing but strange muffled noises and my eyes shot to Jake.

His brows drew together.

“Amber?” I called.

“Hey, Josie,” boy Taylor said. “Amber’s busy hyperventilating and we don’t have a lot of time since lunch is over and we have to be in class, but she wants you to know that Alexi sat with us at lunch today.”

My heart skipped a beat.

It had been a long time but I remembered how that felt.

And how it felt was wonderful.

“He did?” I whispered.

“The entire time,” boy Taylor told me.

“Really?” I asked.

“Totally,” he answered. “And you should know she was totally cool. Sweet and nice to him, a little shy, but she waited to screech and hyperventilate until after he was long gone.”

I smiled at a Jake who still had brows drawn. “Tell her I’m proud of her.”

“Will do,” he replied. “Gotta go, though. We have to get to class.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Have a good day,” I said.

“You too. Later.”

“Later.”

He disconnected.

Jake asked, “What?” the instant I took the phone from my ear.

My heart skipped another beat for an entirely different reason.

Uh-oh.

“Well…” I began and trailed off.

“What?” he repeated.

“Um…”

He leaned toward me and said a warning, “Josie.”

“Alexi sat with Amber at lunch today.”

Instantly, he tipped his head back and muttered, “Christ almighty.”

“She’s quite excited,” I told him.

He tipped his head forward and scowled at me.

I lifted a hand and curled it around his neck, leaning close and sharing, “She’s happy.”

“He asks her out and comes on that bike to pick her up, I’m shooting him.”

I dropped my hand and leaned back, my brows lifting. “You own a firearm?”

“No,” he answered, turning his focus back to our soup. “But today, I’m buyin’ one.”

I let out a little giggle that I swallowed before it could bloom when Jake’s eyes cut to me.

“I’m not joking.”

“Okay, darling,” I said soothingly.

He looked back at the soup, muttering, “Fuck me.”

I jumped off the counter and put my purse back on the island, stating, “I’ll get drinks. What do you want?”

“Coke,” he answered.

I didn’t get him a Coke.

I moved to him, fit my front to his back, wrapped my arms around his stomach and put my chin to his shoulder blade, whereupon I whispered, “You’re a good dad.”

I gave him a squeeze, kissed his shoulder blade through his shirt, let him go and got him his Coke.

But when I turned away from the fridge, I saw he didn’t look quite so aggravated anymore.

And thus, I figured I’d appropriately handled my man.

So I smiled.

* * * * *

“And he was all, Combat Raptor is lame. So I was all, and Zombie Mayhem wasn’t? And he was all, Zombie Mayhem was the bomb. And I was all, there’s no such thing as zombies. And he was all, like men can turn into jets? And I was all, duh, Transformers…? And he was all, Transformers are robots.”

This was coming from Ethan who was, for some unknown reason, lying upside down on Gran’s couch, his feet over the back, his head dangling over the seat.

Amber was painting her nails in Gran’s armchair.

We’d just had dinner (and dessert) that I’d prepared, but for some reason, Conner was in the other armchair eating the chips and salsa Ethan told me I had to buy when we took Pearl on the excruciatingly long (I reminded myself she did walk with a walker) trip to the grocery store that afternoon.

And by the by, I was right. Ethan knew Pearl. They liked each other a great deal and our afternoon was quite enjoyable (sans the excruciatingly long trip at the grocery store, of course).

Conner not only had chips and salsa but also a textbook opened on his thigh to which he was paying scant attention.

As for me, I’d been planted in the couch between the upside down Ethan and the right side up Jake.

The pre-game show for Monday Night Football was on the television. This was because Jake had programmed my DVR (I didn’t even know I had one or, indeed, what one was) to “Tape Project Runway anytime it shows, even the reruns, so you can watch it whenever you want and Amber can come over and watch that shit with you.”

As this was acceptable to Amber and me, Monday Night Football it was.

Ethan kept rattling on as Jake slid an arm around me and tucked me close to his side.

I rested my head against his chest, pulled my legs up, tucked them into the seat beside me and studied the commentators.

When Ethan took a breath, I noted, “That tie the bald fellow is wearing is extremely unbecoming.”

“I know, right?” Amber agreed.

Jake’s arm gave me a squeeze as a soft chuckle escaped his mouth but I heard it come from there and from his chest and I felt it.

All three were very nice.

“Jesus,” Conner muttered.

Without disconnecting from Jake, quietly and cautiously I said to Conner, “You really shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain, honey.”

Conner grinned at me and replied, “You really shouldn’t talk trash about a Football Hall of Famer’s tie.”

“Is this a rule?” I queried.

“Absolutely, “Conner replied.

I rolled my eyes and when I rolled them back, he was still grinning at me.

“Whatever,” I muttered.

Then I burrowed closer, wrapped an arm around Jake’s stomach, he lifted his stocking feet to Gran’s coffee table, crossed his ankles and we watched Monday Night Football.

* * * * *

On my way to the gym the next morning, I approached The Shack which I was highly surprised was open at that early hour. But I’d seen the cover gone from the window as I drove by the wharf and remembered the excellent coffee there so I’d stopped.

The window was open, however beyond it was dark and cavernous, so I called a tentative, “Hello?”

“Josie, watcha need?” was called back.

I blinked at the empty window.

“Tom?” I called.

“Right here. You want coffee or coffee and omelets for you and Jake?’

Word most definitely got around.

“Just coffee, Tom,” I answered. “Two.”

“Comin’ right up,” the disembodied voice said just as my phone in my purse rang.

I took it out, looked at the display, took the call turning my back to the window and announced, “I’m uncertain I’m talking to you.”

“Josephine,” Amond said quietly.

“You knew he was coming,” I said huffily.

“Had no idea he’d can your ass,” Amond replied.

I said nothing.

“Henry’s in a bad way, girl,” he told me and I closed my eyes against the pain.

I opened them and shared, “I’ve met someone, Amond.”

It was his turn to say nothing.

So I did.

“I’m also quite angry with you. You could have no idea, of course, how things would play out. But I’ll tell you, it was unpleasant for all of us and perhaps wouldn’t have been that way if I’d known he was coming.”

“He wanted it to be a surprise,” Amond replied.

“Well it was that,” I returned.

I heard a sigh before, “I’ll talk to him. His new boy, Daniel, is okay but he’s not you and everyone’s freaking about Henry losing his muse. They think, without you, he’ll lose his touch.”

His muse?

Oh God, was I Henry’s muse?

My mind harked back and noted that he took an inordinate amount of pictures of me. In fact, on every shoot, he’d aim the camera at me at some point, even if I was simply sitting and talking on the phone.

I always thought he was being playful.

But now I knew he was not.

As beautiful as this was, as much of an honor as it was, all of this coming to me at a time when it was gone was too much to bear.

Therefore, I shook it off and said to Amond, “Don’t talk with him. A great deal has changed and I was going to speak with Henry and ask if I could slow down anyway. I like being here, in Gran’s house, life being less hectic, and as I mentioned, I met someone.”

To this he declared, “I’m there the minute this shoot is over.”

My hand tightened on the phone for I had the feeling that this meant Amond was coming to check Jake out. And there were very few people who could be a threat to Jake but Amond was one of them. He not only was also quite tall, large and fit, he was not someone you messed with. He further spoke his mind at all times. If he didn’t like Jake for me, he’d let me know it.

And Jake.

And Jake might not like this.

“Amond, that isn’t necessary,” I said quickly.

“Two weeks and you’re givin’ up Henry and your life for Maine and this guy, it absolutely is.”

“Amond—”

“Me showin’ up won’t be a surprise. I’ll let you know when to expect me and you got room in that house of yours, I’m in it.”

“Amond—” I said louder.

“Later, Josephine,” he said and I heard the disconnect.

I took my phone from my ear and snapped, “God!”

“Coffee’s up,” Tom declared from behind me.

I whirled and again saw a dark window as well as two white paper coffee cups sitting on its ledge.

But no Tom.

“How much do I owe you?” I asked into the vacant window.

“Come for another omelet, bring Jake, those’re free,” Tom’s voice replied.

He hardly had to bribe me to come eat another of his omelets. They were superb. In fact, I’d no idea why I hadn’t returned to get one already.

I peered into the shadows and eerily still saw nothing but, well, shadows and some little red lights that undoubtedly indicated cooking implements were on.

Very curious.

I would, of course, come for another omelet. But I couldn’t take freebie coffees.

“Tom, really, I’d like to pay,” I said into the shadows.

“Not takin’ your money so get that coffee to Jake while it’s hot.”

I stared at the window.

Then, clearly with no other choice, I grabbed the cups and said, “Thank you. I’ll see you later for an omelet.”

“Tell Jake I said hey,” Tom replied.

“Will do,” I told him.

I took the coffees, left mine black, poured a frightening amount of sugar and two powdered cream packets into Jake’s and called another farewell to Tom as I started to move to my Cayenne.

I was again waiting for Jake outside the back door to the gym but was only there approximately two minutes before Jake’s big truck pulled up.

He parked, got out and walked to me, doing all this smiling.

“Two days in a row. I would say I’ve proved my point,” I announced as he made his way to me. “Now, are you going to give me a key?”

He didn’t answer me at first.

No, even with two cups of coffee in my hands, his arms closed around me and I was forced to hold my arms out at the sides to save the mysterious Tom’s rather delicious coffee. This was made a more difficult endeavor when Jake bent his head and kissed me dizzy.

He answered only when he lifted his head and he did this with a, “Yeah.”

Alas, I forgot my question.

“Pardon?”

“I’m giving you a key.”

“Oh,” I mumbled.

He smiled again.

Then he let me go, tipped his head to my hands and asked, “One of those for me?”

I didn’t answer his question.

I blurted, “Amond is coming to check you out.”

His brows went up. “Come again?”

“Dee-Amond, a friend of mine and an award-winning hip-hop artist who you may have heard of has learned that Henry sacked me. I’ve informed him I’m staying in Maine and met someone. He’s protective of me. After he shoots his video with Henry, he’s coming to check you out.”

“And?” Jake queried when I stopped speaking.

I stared at him a moment before inquiring, “This doesn’t upset you?”

“What would upset me is if you lived a life where no one gave a shit about you and didn’t get worried when you made a major life change and lost your job. This guy worrying about you says he’s a good guy who cares about you. He comes, he’ll see we’re cool. So no. I’m not upset some famous rap star is comin’ to check me out.”

I didn’t know what to say but I did know what to think and that was that Jake Spear was…the…bomb.

“What also would upset me is if you keep starin’ at me instead of givin’ me my cup ‘a joe that I know’s from The Shack so I know it’s gonna be good but not so good if it’s stone cold.”

I belatedly handed him his cup.

He took it, hooked an arm around my waist and yanked me into his body, dipping his head so his face was close to mine.

“Every singer, designer, model you know showed up here to check me out, the kids out, I wouldn’t give a fuck,” he told me quietly. “In fact, I want that. They’re the only family you had so actually, I want to know that part of your life. So bring it on.”

Good God.

“You keep getting more wonderful,” I whispered.

“Baby, it’s not yet seven, got my girl who hates to get up early in my arm, a coffee from The Shack she got for me, and I’m gonna get me some in about two hours. I’m thinkin’ you keep gettin’ more wonderful too.”

“Good answer,” I replied.

He grinned.

Then he dipped his head to touch his mouth to mine.

After that, he let us in, opened the doors while I turned on the lights, and then he gave me a key.

About two hours later, after Jake took Ethan to school while I stayed at his house and did the breakfast dishes, he returned, dragged me up the stairs and “got him some.”

In doing so, he gave me some too.

And it was wonderful.

* * * * *

Two days later, I’d just paid for Alyssa and my lunch of rather delicious cobb salads at Weatherby’s Diner when my phone rang.

Again.

“Jesus, you’re popular,” Alyssa noted as I ignored my phone (again).

“Word has gotten around that Henry fired me,” I explained, tucking my still-ringing phone in my bag. “And also that Gran has died. I’m getting dozens of calls a day.”

And I was. Some sharing condolences. Most sharing shock that Henry and I were not “together” anymore.

I’d learned from these calls that it seemed quite a few people thought Henry and I had an open relationship but in the end, it was me for Henry and Henry for me.

This also meant that, again, others were clued in far faster than I was about what was happening around me.

There were also job offers, one from a rather talented up-and-coming designer based out of New York who would “die” if I’d offer my services, even if I worked from Lavender House and only went to the City once every month or so.

“With your connections, darling, you’d have me where I wanted to be five years ago and do it in six months,” he’d said.

Of course, I thought this was rather sweet, if perhaps incorrect. But I was thinking about it and Jake was prompting me to do it.

“Gives you to us most of the time, but you still stay connected to who you are. Best of both worlds, babe,” he’d said.

I was thinking he was right.

I was also thinking that I had a great many acquaintances who I was finding, with their kind concern, were really friends and I wanted to stay connected to them because that kind concern was heartwarming.

It was also overwhelming, but I didn’t want to be on the phone all day, and certainly not while at lunch with Alyssa (this was rude) so I’d begun not to take some calls and called them back later.

“Cool your peeps are rallying around you, babe,” Alyssa said as we slid out of the booth.

“It is indeed cool,” I agreed.

She grinned at me as she got close and slid an arm around my waist.

I reciprocated the gesture and we walked through the diner in this fashion, Alyssa stating, “I’m gonna hang at The Circus with you tomorrow night. Check out the dancers, get me some new moves to rock Junior’s world.”

We separated to walk out the door as I looked at her with delight.

“I would love that,” I shared.

“Then you’re on. Meet you there at ten,” she replied as we stopped outside in the chill air.

“Excellent. Ten,” I agreed.

“Now, you need help goin’ through your boxes, you call me. I’d kill to dig through your wardrobe and if you let me try a few pieces on, I’ll put you in my will.”

The boxes from Henry’s pool house had arrived and this was how I told Alyssa I was going to spend my afternoon, sorting through them, officially moving into Lavender House.

Bittersweet.

But it would be less so with Alyssa helping me do it. Therefore, I decided to delay my afternoon’s activities until a time she could help me.

“I’ll take you up on that,” I said. “We’ll plan tomorrow night.”

“Right on,” she agreed.

We did double cheek kisses and she took off with a low wave saying, “Later, babelicious.”

“Later, honey,” I called to her as I turned in the other direction to head down the sidewalk toward my Cayenne.

I was nearly there when my phone in my purse rang and as it was so soon after the last call, I wondered if it was the same caller and they actually needed to speak to me.

So I pulled it out but stopped dead on the sidewalk when I saw the caller’s name on the display.

Quickly, I took the call and put the phone to my ear.

“Arnie, how are you?” I greeted cautiously.

There was a long pause before he replied in a voice that broke my heart, “Been better, Josephine.”

I stepped to the side, tilted my head down to stare at my high-heeled boots and gave him my full attention.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked.

“No, my dear. I’m just phoning to let you know we’re putting Eliza in hospice today.”

Hospice.

Damn.

My heart clenched and I whispered, “So soon?”

His broken heart was in his voice when he replied, “Yes, Josephine.”

I felt my hand shaking so I tightened it around the phone when I queried, “May I come and see her?”

“Of course,” he answered. “She’ll want to see you.”

“I…where will she be?”

He gave me the name of the hospice as I took deep breaths to control the tears stinging my eyes.

“I’ll come tomorrow,” I told him.

“Do it today, Josephine,” he said quietly and my eyes immediately got wet.

“Okay.” I paused. “I’ll, well…I’ll let you go.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“You will, Arnie,” I assured. “Thank you for taking the time to phone. Until then.”

“Good-bye, my dear,” he said and rang off.

When he did, I stood on the sidewalk and stared at my boots, tears gliding down my face.

Jake was right. He was very right.

I shouldn’t have taken that on.

I couldn’t handle it.

On this thought, I heard my name called.

“Josephine?”

I looked up and saw Mickey standing before me. His face was watery but I noted vaguely that he was smiling. However, the instant he caught my tear-stained cheeks, his expression shifted to concern.

“Jesus,” he murmured, “Honey, what’s happening?”

“Eliza Weaver is going into hospice today.”

He said nothing but then again, I didn’t give him a chance. I tilted my head down and covered my face with my hands even with my phone still in one of them.

Then I was in Mickey’s arms. Feeling their strength close around me, his warmth enveloping me, his kindness melting into my skin, my body bucked and I made one of those awful hiccupping noises through my tears.

One of his arms left me and moments later, as he turned us and started us walking, still holding me close, I heard him say, “Jake, buddy, you gotta get to the station. I got Josephine with me and she’s not good. Says some friend of hers is going to hospice today. Think she just found out on the street but I know she lost it.”

I lifted wet eyes to him even as he kept moving us toward the station and said, “I-I’ll be all right.”

Mickey looked down at me but otherwise ignored me and said into the phone at his ear, “Right. Good. See you then. We’ll be in the break room. Later.”

“Jake’s busy,” I told him as he shoved the phone in his back pocket.

“Thinkin’ Jake’s never too busy for you,” he replied.

I was thinking this was very true and more, even in my distress, I was very much liking that thought.

Mickey got me to the fire station, upstairs and on a beaten up leather couch in a room that had a full kitchen, a big table and was surprisingly clean as a pin.

I’d managed to get control of my tears and he’d pulled a chair in front of me and was leaned in with his elbows to his knees, his hands holding mine, listening to me telling him who Eliza and Arnie were (he knew of them, but not them) when Jake got there.

I looked up and watched him walk to me.

So tall. His shoulders so very broad. His bearing so strong.

His eyes locked to me.

Mickey let my hands go and leaned back as I stood, my eyes glued to Jake.

Then I was in his arms and I burst back into tears.

“You…you were…were right,” I stammered into his chest, folding my arms around him and holding on tight.

“Shh, baby, no I wasn’t.”

“It-it’s…all too much.”

“You can handle it,” he declared

The instant he said them, his words drove through me in a profound way. Also in that instant, I knew he was right and he was wrong.

When I got the call from the nursing company to tell me that Gran had died, I was on the beach in Malibu. Henry was shooting a model wearing a ten thousand dollar couture gown that was wet at the hem from standing near the surf.

He would have wanted me to interrupt him when I got the news. In fact, when I told him later, he was cross with me that I didn’t interrupt him but he tried to hide it due to the circumstances.

Now I knew just how much he would have wanted that.

But I didn’t interrupt him.

I moved quietly to the tent set up for hair and makeup, which was thankfully empty, and I spent my emotion alone.

And I’d felt that.

Precisely that.

Alone.

Acutely alone.

With Gran gone, I felt utterly alone.

And lost.

And further, I felt afraid, thinking I’d never really have Henry and with Gran gone, I’d never really have anything again.

Eliza Weaver was not Gran but she was a sweet woman who would make the world poorer for her loss.

I knew it was not just Eliza I was grieving but also the loss that was still fresh that was Gran and the even fresher, albeit different loss of Henry.

But in losing all that, I was no longer alone.

Mickey had found me on the street and he’d taken care of me.

And Jake was right there, tall, broad, strong, holding me close, his big body absorbing my tremors, the physical ones as well as the emotional.

Something I’d never had from anyone, not even really Henry.

No one but Gran.

And now Jake.

So he was wrong, I couldn’t handle it. On my own, I could not do that.

But I was not on my own.

I had him.

So he was also right.

I could handle it.

And I loved that.

But mostly, I knew in that distressing instant that normally would have been a sorrowful memory, that I loved him.

So I would remember standing in Jake Spear’s arms in a fire station, crying for a dying friend, for the loss of my Gran, for the end of what was with Henry.

I’d remember it for the rest the rest of my life.

And I’d treasure it.

* * * * *

“Hey!” I heard called.

I stopped pushing my cart through Wayfarer’s with some urgency and turned to look down the aisle.

What I saw made my back go straight.

It was Sunday morning and I was heading to Jake’s for food, football and family time. The Taylors were coming over. Conner didn’t have to work. And I’d talked Jake into letting me cook.

I was in a hurry because I couldn’t wait to get there.

But I had to pick up food first.

On Friday, Jake had taken me to see Eliza.

Since then, I had not bothered Arnie, but instead phoned Reverend Fletcher on Saturday to discover if the dire event had come to pass.

“Not yet, Josephine, but I would expect sad news very soon,” he’d informed me gently.

I left it at that but asked Reverend Fletcher to let me know if he heard any news.

Thus far, nothing.

Taking my mind off this, Alyssa (who I had called to give her this news after Jake dropped Ethan and me off at Lavender House for we had to go straight to the school from the hospice to pick him up) and I had a marvelous time at Jake’s club the night before.

She talked Sofie into watching her kids and Junior came with her.

With Jake (mostly, sometimes he had business to see to), we all sat at the bar, drank and talked.

In doing this, I found that I very much liked Junior. He was surprisingly soft-spoken, though his language was just as coarse as his wife’s. Oddly, however, it was rather attractive coming from a large, frightening-looking man with a soft voice

I liked him more watching him with his wife in a gentleman’s club and noting that not even once did his eyes stray to the dancers.

He wasn’t being good in order not to get into trouble.

He was all about Alyssa.

And when I noticed that, I noticed that Jake did the exact same thing with me. Although he’d had occasion to see the dancers far more often than Junior, a beautiful near-naked woman was a beautiful near-naked woman.

Jake was not interested in them.

But he made it clear he was very interested in me.

The night was rather late and unfortunately ended with some incident Jake had to see to so Junior and Alyssa took me home.

Even losing Jake to work, the evening on the whole was highly enjoyable.

However, I didn’t care how late the night was before. I’d get up whenever needed to get to the grocery store to buy the ingredients for my truffle risotto, what I intended to make for food, football and the Spear family.

It wasn’t tacos and Ro-Tel dip but it was fabulous and the way the children and Jake tucked into my food, I knew they’d agree.

What wasn’t welcome was the fact that Donna, Jake’s ex and Conner and Amber’s wayward mother, was hurrying my way.

I drew in breath.

She stopped on a sway and a tentative smile.

“Uh…Josie, right?”

“Yes,” I replied, deciding not to correct her that to her I was most assuredly Josephine. “How are you, Donna?” I asked although I really didn’t care. However, it was rude not to.

“I’m all right,” she stated then changed her mind and said “Good. I’m good. And…um, you? Are you good?”

“Yes, I’m excellent. Thank you for asking.”

She moved her weight from foot to foot and looked to the shelves beyond me. Alas, what she did not do was bid me to have a good day and move away.

“Is there something you need?” I asked and her eyes came to me. “I don’t wish to be rude but Jake and the children are expecting me,” I prompted.

“I just…” she started, trailed off and began again. “I’m just wondering about Con and Amber. I heard some things about Con and I’m concerned.”

“Have you phoned Conner?” I inquired.

“Well, yes. He said everything’s cool,” she told me.

I said nothing.

She spoke again.

“But, what I heard was that some girl told folks she was pregnant with his kid, she wasn’t, she’s getting massive shit from everyone for pulling that, but his girl still broke up with him.”

This was true, as with some delight boy Taylor shared with me just days before that young Mia was getting “massive shit” from everyone.

Conner was well-liked and had done as I expected, not kept matters to himself.

As per boy Taylor, Mia was now a pariah, not only in the boy department but also in the girl.

Fair punishment, according to me.

I told Donna none of this.

Instead, I simply confirmed, “This did happen.”

“I, well…thought he liked that girl who broke it off with him. Um…Ellie.”

“He did.”

She stared at me a moment before asking, “So is he really okay?”

“No,” I answered.

“Shit,” she whispered, becoming unfocused for several seconds before she again focused on me. “Is Amber good?”

“Amber’s fine,” I told her.

“She isn’t, well…this is strange, talking to you about this, but she isn’t picking up my calls.”

I couldn’t have agreed more that this was strange and decided to tell her as much.

“It is indeed strange you talking to me about this for I barely know you and we’re discussing something colossally important, that being your daughter,” I declared. “I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t be making some attempt to communicate directly to her, even if she isn’t picking up her phone. I would assume you know where she attends school as well as lives so these are not mysteries you need to cipher before you make a connection with her.”

Her mouth had dropped open making her look rather comically dull but I was far from done.

“Further, if Amber isn’t answering your calls, you know her father and you can discuss the daughter you share directly with him. Why you would approach me in a gourmet food store aisle I cannot fathom and I’ll tell you now, it makes me uncomfortable.”

I stopped talking and she had no reply for long moments before she stated, “Boy, you don’t beat around the bush.”

“Not normally, no. But when it comes to Jake, Conner and Amber, I never will.”

Something changed in her face and her voice was quite strange when she remarked, “It’s cool they have that from you.”

“It would be cooler if they had something, anything from you,” I retorted.

Her expression again changed. She flinched.

But she said not a word.

So I did.

“Listen, I’ve explained to you that I’m quite busy but I’ll take this moment to say more. It appears you care that you’ve lost your connection with your children and I find that quite gratifying but only with the hope you’ll do something about it. However, you’ve been disconnected for so long, it has affected not only your two children but Jake’s youngest. Ethan loves his brother and sister very much, circumstances force that family to be quite dependent on each other and as Ethan is still quite young, he’s obviously more dependent on his father and siblings than the rest. If you were to suddenly make some overtures, for Ethan’s sake, you may wish to be thoughtful in how you do it.”

I stopped talking and she remained silent so I went on.

“Also, as I never really had one, I can only assume that a son and daughter would welcome their mother in their life. But as you’ve blundered quite horribly with your two children, although I urge you to rectify that and do it very soon, I would also urge you to speak with Jake about it so as you do it you don’t cause undo upheaval that will be difficult for him and those kids to handle.”

“You want me talking to Jake?” she asked, sounding incredulous, and I felt my brows draw together.

“You’re the mother of two of his children,” I answered.

“But I’m also his ex. I mean, we were married and we have history,” she told me.

“Indeed. Though your last word is quite crucial. History,” I replied.

She again flinched.

I studied her closely.

Surely this woman wasn’t that oblivious. Years had passed.

“Donna, as I’ve been blunt, I will continue to be so. If you hold a candle for Jake, I’d extinguish it. He’s quite forthcoming and what once was between you is very gone.”

Another flinch.

Good God.

She was that oblivious.

“Okay, this is weirding me out,” she declared. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have talked to you about this.”

“Indeed, you shouldn’t have. But you did. And I’d encourage you to take on board what I said.” I hesitated to underline my final point. “All of it.”

She held my eyes and replied, “I don’t mean to be funny. Truly I don’t. Mrs. Malone was really cool and folks who know you say you’re like her. But you should know, Jake and I are complicated and the kind of history we have is never really gone.”

She was absolutely that oblivious.

I couldn’t believe it, but as it was right there in front of me, I found it very sad.

Therefore, I gentled my tone when I told her, “If you believe that, I’m very sorry. Jake and you are not complicated because there is no Jake and you. It appears you’ve been working under the misconception that that’s the case, but I advise you to cease doing so for your own sake.”

“Again, not to be funny, but he’s come back to me before,” she pointed out.

“He also left you, and since then married two other women and then met me,” I volleyed.

She shook her head, clearly my words weren’t penetrating and this was proved when she started, “I don’t mean to be mean but you should—”

“You aren’t being mean, Donna,” I interrupted her and went on firmly in an effort to end this enlightening but nevertheless wretched discussion. “But you are taking quite a bit of my time. Please, phone Jake. Discuss all this with him. I think it will be difficult for you but in the end beneficial and hopefully beneficial for Amber and Conner too.”

“God,” she whispered, her eyes widening. “You totally don’t have any problems with me talking to Jake.”

“Not a one,” I replied. “Now, again, not to be rude but I really must be getting on.”

“I…” Another shake of her head. “Okay.”

“Phone Jake,” I urged.

“I…” She shook her head yet again but said, “I will.”

“Good day to you, Donna.”

“Um…good day to you too, Josie.”

I wanted to roll my eyes at her calling me Josie again. It was true that I was getting that from practically everyone these days but from her I didn’t like it all that much.

However, I found our conversation more than mildly exasperating and I wanted it to end so I didn’t say a word. Nodding my head to her once, I turned back to my cart and my attention back to my list.

It was much later, indeed well after the children and the Taylors gave their exuberant stamp of approval not only to my truffle risotto but to the variety of bruschettas that I’d made as an appetizer, that I was alone with Jake in the kitchen making hot fudge sundaes.

It was then I told him of my conversation with Donna.

As he was stronger, he was scooping out the hard frozen ice cream. With curiosity, I was “nuking” the jars of hot fudge (three of them), a phenomenon I had not yet tasted but was very much looking forward to as Jake also had cans of whipped cream, nuts, sprinkles and cherries.

Even from jars and cans, none of this could be bad.

Involved in our activities, I didn’t feel the air until I head Jake’s sinister whisper of, “Come again?”

I looked from the revolving jars of hot fudge in the microwave to Jake and saw he didn’t find my conversation with Donna simply odd and perhaps a little sad.

No, that was not how he found it at all.

“I—” I began, my mind flying through varying options of how to handle him when he dropped the scoop in the tub of ice cream and prowled to and out the door to the garage.

I fretted over the ice cream sitting on the counter for a brief moment, thinking I should put it back in the freezer. However, as Jake was clearly angry and just as clearly intent to do something about it, I decided to leave it where it lay and followed him.

The large garage was lit, Jake was standing beside his truck parked in it, his phone to his ear and when I arrived, I saw I was too late to stop him when I heard him say, “You have got to be fucking shitting me.”

Oh dear.

I got close and Jake cut furious eyes to me (now, under the fluorescent lights in the garage, a rather attractive shade of silver I had not seen before and, alas, couldn’t fully enjoy considering the circumstances).

“No,” he clipped into his phone. “First, you do not ever talk to Josie. We do what’s the impossible right now and sort this out eventually, you two gotta have a discussion for some reason, I might allow it. After this shit and the shit you’ve been pullin’ with Con and Amber, no. Josie is off-limits to you. I don’t care if you’re sittin’ next to each other gettin’ a pedicure at Alyssa’s, she doesn’t exist. You get that?”

There was a pause and I bit my lip before he powered on.

“And get it outta your head that we’re reconciling. That shit is never gonna happen, Donna. How the fuck you can think that, I have no fuckin’ clue. It’s been fuckin’ years since I shared a bed with you and, straight up, when I left it the last time, I haven’t even thought of goin’ back. Now, forced to think of it through this shit, woman, you cannot believe after you’ve taken so much twenty-somethin’ cock I’d ever go there. The thought turns my goddamned stomach. Get this and get it now, that shit is not gonna happen. Not ever. Now do you get that?”

He was being quite brutal, therefore I wrapped my fingers around his bicep and whispered, “Jake—”

He ignored me and kept speaking.

“You have fucked up royal with your kids. You want me to help you sort that, you get your head outta your goddamned ass. Until you’ve proved to me you aren’t livin’ in a fuckin’ fantasy world, totally fuckin’ clueless to pretty much everything, you got no help from me. They’re not slippin’ through your fingers, Donna. They’re gone. Con tries to be cool with you because he’s a good kid. Amber, you’ve lost. You pull your shit together and find a way back in that works for her and for me, I’ll back that play. But not until you pull your shit together. You hear me?”

He stopped speaking and I decided to say nothing and get closer. He didn’t move away but I knew he was concentrating on whatever she was saying because, even though he was still looking at me, his eyes had gone unfocused.

Finally, he spoke again.

“This shit, these tears, they mean nothing to me, Donna. We’ve been done so long, I don’t even think about you unless I look at my girl when I know she needs a woman for whatever shit that’s fuckin’ with her head and I do it pissed way the fuck off that her mother is not there for her. She’s got Josie now and you need to wake up. A girl, I would expect, can’t have enough good women in her life. But it blows my goddamned mind you’d walk up to Josie at Wayfarer’s feelin’ funny for her that she’s got somethin’ good you think she’s gonna lose when she’s got everything and she takes care of it in a way she’s never gonna lose it. Everything you lost because you didn’t take care of it, you aren’t takin’ care of it, and if you don’t sort yourself out, you’re never gonna get it back.”

He paused to take a breath but kept right on going.

“Now, we’re done. Think on this shit, Donna, and please, God, fuckin’ wake the fuck up.”

He was indeed done for he disconnected and shoved his phone in his pocket.

His eyes were still on me and before I could say a word, he did.

“You got any understanding of that bitch now?” he bit out.

“Would you, perhaps, like a hot fudge sundae to calm you down before we discuss this matter further?” I offered.

“We walk back into that house, babe, this shit is behind us and we eat hot fudge sundaes enjoying them, not thinkin’ about Donna’s ridiculous bullshit.”

As this was what he wanted, and I wanted Jake to have everything, I gave it to him.

“I would assume that most of her lovers look like you or, perchance, behave like you,” I stated.

He jerked up his chin in an affirmative even as his jaw clenched but said only, “Least the ones I’ve seen.”

I nodded.

“Then she’s attempting to live the glory days with these men who matter very little to her, thinking inaccurately that those glory days will return when the real thing does.”

“That’s whacked,” Jake declared.

“Yes, it is,” I agreed.

“She’s whacked,” Jake went on.

“Yes, she is,” I again agreed.

He studied me a moment before asking, “She get in there with you?”

“Pardon?” I asked back, confused.

“She fuck with your head with this shit?’

My brows drew together as I informed him, “Certainly not.”

“She and I are done,” he announced.

“I know that, Jake,” I assured him.

He studied me another moment before his expression cleared and his voice gentled to say, “Sorry that shit happened to you.”

“I’m not,” I returned immediately. “If this is the precursor to her getting her finger out of her ass, then I’m delighted it happened. Those children need their mother. Perhaps she’ll deal with her shit and finally give them one.”

I got another moment of study before a slow, attractive grin spread on Jake’s face and he moved so he could wrap his arms around me.

“Deal with her shit?” he asked.

“Indeed,” I answered.

His grin got bigger and his arms got tighter. “As much as this pisses me off, wish like fuck I was at Wayfarer’s watchin’ you give her the honesty.”

“I can’t imagine why,” I replied. “It was most irksome.”

“Irksome,” he murmured, still grinning but now doing it looking at my lips.

My belly fluttered, but my lips said, “Yes. Irksome.”

His arms got tighter as his face got closer. “Irksome,” he repeated in a whisper, his word sounding on my lips since his were that close.

“Yes,” I breathed right before he kissed me.

Delightfully, he did this thoroughly and I melted into him as he did it, wrapping my arms around his neck, gliding my fingers over his hair to hold him to me and kissing him back.

We did this for some time before we were forced to break the kiss when a loud knock sounded at the door right before Ethan shouted through it, “Jeez! What’s the deal? Hello? Hot fudge sundaes?”

I smiled up into Jake’s smiling eyes just as Ethan went on, still shouting (albeit no longer through the door), and he did it sounding like he was telling on us.

“Con! Dad and Josie are makin’ out in the garage!”

I didn’t hear Conner’s reply but did hear Ethan’s shouted one.

“I don’t care! But I want a sundae!” He knocked on the door again and his next comment was directed through it. “Hurry up!”

“Gotta get a sundae in my kid,” Jake said softly.

“You do,” I replied.

“Soften him up before I let him know his ass is in church in about an hour and a half,” he went on.

“Good plan,” I approved.

His eyes warmed, his neck bent, he touched his forehead to mine then lifted his lips to kiss it.

After that, he let me go but grabbed my hand and we went in to finish the sundaes. Ethan was not in the kitchen but he was the first one I went to where he was sitting on the couch in the family room and I handed him a bowl.

He tucked in immediately and was lifting the spoon to his mouth but doing it with his mouth moving in order to declare, “When I get a girlfriend, we’re just holding hands. None of that kissing stuff.”

I pressed my lips together in an effort not to laugh.

The Taylors and Amber didn’t bother.

It was Conner who spoke. “You are so full of it.”

Ethan swallowed an enormous bite of sundae and turned his eyes to his brother, “I’m not.”

Conner’s eyes were twinkling when he replied, “Bud, trust me. You so are.”

“Am not,” Ethan returned.

Conner grinned at his brother, turned his attention to me and winked, then looked back to the game.

I gave the other bowl I had to girl Taylor before I went back into the kitchen to get more bowls that Jake was assembling.

I did it smiling.

I also did it feeling sad for Donna.

She was very much missing out.

But even sad for her, I was delighted for me.

For I was absolutely not.

* * * * *

“At this very minute, the Colts are playing,” Ethan, sitting in the pew on the other side of his dad, groused.

“Shut it, bud,” Jake, sitting in the pew next to me, muttered.

Ethan didn’t “shut it.”

He declared, “We’re missing it.”

“Eath, it’s taping,” Conner, on the other side of Ethan, pointed out.

“I better not find out the score before we get home,” Ethan warned.

“Ohmigod,” boy Taylor, sitting next to Amber who was sitting on my other side, whispered excitedly. “There’s Kieran Wentworth.”

“Where?” girl Taylor’s fabulous sheath of shining black hair flew this way and that as she looked around.

“Four pews back, on the other side,” boy Taylor told her and went on to note, “He must be home from school for the weekend or something.”

I leaned into Amber and murmured, “Who’s Kieran Wentworth?”

She leaned into me and murmured in reply, “He was a junior when we were freshman. He’s so hot, he’s a legend. He’s at Boston College now. Taylor has been in love with him since forever.”

I looked over my shoulder and four pews back on the other side I spied a highly attractive young man with short-clipped dark sandy blond hair, an exceptionally square jaw and cheekbones that would be immensely photogenic.

He also had very broad shoulders.

Further, he was wearing a rather stylish dark blue tailored shirt and wearing it quite well.

I turned back and leaned back into Amber. “He’s most attractive.”

“Yep,” she agreed.

“I cannot imagine he hasn’t noted Taylor’s charms,” I remarked.

“Uh…Josie, he’s nineteen and in college. She’s sixteen. That’s not gonna happen.”

Hmm.

“Give it two years,” I stated.

“He’ll be snapped up in two years,” Amber returned.

“Not if he has something to wait for,” I told her and felt her eyes turn to me so I turned mine to her.

She was smiling.

I winked.

Her smile got bigger.

I felt Jake lean into me and I turned my attention to him when he said, “I know Taylor’s father. Don’t go there.”

I looked into his eyes then looked away and murmured, ‘Hmm.”

“Babe, the kid’s nineteen,” Jake stated something Amber had just told me.

“And?” I asked.

“He’s also in college.”

“Yes?”

He stared at me.

The choir started singing so I grinned to myself and stood with the rest of the congregation.

I did not miss it when, several minutes later, Reverend Fletcher came out, looked amongst his flock, saw me with the Spear family in our pew and he smiled at me.

Further, I absolutely did not miss it when, some time after that, Reverend Fletcher asked us all to pray for Arnold Weaver and his family as they had, just hours earlier, lost their beloved Elizabeth.

And I completely did not miss it when this was announced and Jake’s arm, already extended behind me to rest on the back of the pew, curled around me to pull me tight to his side at the same time Amber reached out and grabbed my hand.

I was devastated for Arnie and his family.

Even so, I couldn’t help but be happy for me as I’d finally found one.

Last, not too long after that, I made certain one Kieran Wentworth did not miss it when we were exiting the church and I maneuvered myself, Amber, Jake, Ethan, Conner and most especially the Taylors close to him. He was standing somewhat removed from a woman and man who must have been his parents. I then faked tripping, and as I’d done it so often in my life, I was good at faking it.

Of course, I wouldn’t have wanted to fall to the floor so I had to grab something. The something I grabbed was girl Taylor, thus swinging her with me and directly into one Kieran Wentworth.

Jake caught me.

Kieran Wentworth caught Taylor.

He blinked when he looked into the exotically beautiful face of the girl curled in his arm.

I grinned as he did it.

Jake’s arm tightened around my belly as he did it and his lips went to my ear.

“Seriously?” he asked and his tone sounded both amused and perturbed.

I had no answer to this question for I didn’t understand it as I often didn’t understand it when Jake, his children or others around us used this same word frequently. So I decided to ignore it and moved forward, pulling Jake with me.

“I’m so sorry. I’m quite clumsy,” I shared, grinning innocently (I hoped) in Kieran Wentworth’s face.

With obvious effort, he tore his gaze from girl Taylor and looked to me.

“Uh…not a problem,” he replied.

I noted he still had a hand on girl Taylor’s waist.

I nodded to him, smiled at him, pried Jake’s arm from around my belly but did it taking hold of his hand and then I dragged him away in order to let nature take its course.

“That was epic,” boy Taylor, trailing us, decreed.

“It’s Josie who’s epic,” Amber, also trailing us, contradicted.

At her words, so much warmth washed through me, I couldn’t handle it all and I tripped, genuinely this time.

Jake hauled me close and clamped an arm around me.

He said nothing but when I looked up at him, he was grinning.

We waited at the cars for a full ten minutes before girl Taylor finally joined us.

And I was delighted to see when she did, she looked dreamy.

* * * * *

In the afternoon two days later, I leaned into Arnie, my hand on his arm and touched my cheek to his.

When I had it there, I whispered, “She will be missed.”

“She will, my dear,” he replied. I leaned back and he said, “I’ll see you at the house.”

I nodded, gave his arm a squeeze and moved away. Jake moved in, shook Arnie’s hand and murmured his condolences. He did not take a great deal of time doing this and shifted away quickly to allow others to approach.

He got close to me, slid an arm around me and commandeered the umbrella I was holding, pulling me even closer and holding the big black umbrella over our heads as he moved us to his truck.

I walked through the sodden grass of the cemetery trying not to let the spike heels of my black boots sink into the turf, and failing.

They would need to be cleaned, air dried and shined and hopefully, in the end, they would not be ruined.

Jake performed somewhat of a miracle both holding the umbrella over me even as he helped me climb up in the truck, a difficult task in my black pencil skirt.

Once I was in, he closed my door, folded the umbrella, tossed it in the backseat and moved around the hood of the truck with the drizzle falling on his unguarded head and fantastic Hugo Boss suit.

Once he’d climbed in beside me, I noted, “That suit becomes you, Jake.”

“Thanks, baby,” he muttered as he turned the ignition.

He glided us out onto the lane and as we were approaching the exit to the graveyard, he said, “We don’t have to go to the open house if it’s too much for you, babe.”

“Gran would go,” I replied.

“You’re not Lydie,” he stated.

I turned my head to look at him as he stopped before taking the turn on the main road.

Even with the mist of rain in his hair and on the shoulders of his suit, he was most handsome.

“Yes I am, Jake,” I whispered.

He looked to me, studied me, his eyes warm, his face soft, then he nodded.

He looked back to the road and turned onto it. Once on our way, he reached out and took my hand, pulling it his way and holding it against his thigh.

And he continued to hold it all the way to the Weaver’s.

* * * * *

It was afternoon the day after Eliza’s funeral when I looked out the window of Jake’s office at the gym and saw him standing with one of the many boys who were there for junior boxing league.

The boy was staring up at Jake with a rapt expression on his face, like I would assume one would stare at Superman if he was real.

“Seriously?” Alyssa’s voice asked. “How does he find anything in here? I mean, his membership isn’t even computerized. It’s all on paper.”

I said nothing.

My eyes moved through the gym to Mickey, who was standing ringside, calling out to the two boys in it. They then moved to Junior, who had three boys working punching bags. Finally, I shifted my eyes back to Jake, who had his hands up in front of his face. They were curled into fists and he quickly dropped one, punching it in the air, then the other one dropped and he punched the air then he brought his right one up and jabbed it, also into the air, directly bringing his fists back up to mostly cover his face.

Then he dropped his hands and jerked his chin up to the boy.

The boy lifted his hands in front of his face, changed his stance and mimicked what Jake did.

When he finished, Jake smiled down at him and clapped him on the shoulder.

The boy beamed.

Already lost in that man, seeing all this, all he’d wrought for these kids who clearly loved it, I sent a prayer to God that He’d never let me be found.

“You need to sort his shit out, Josie. How he gets anything done is anyone’s guess. This place is a disaster zone,” Alyssa announced and I turned my eyes to her, taking in Jake’s office as I did.

It was, indeed, a disaster zone.

And the day before, when I informed Jake of this (however, I didn’t use the words “disaster zone” but instead “colossal mess”) after fully taking it in for the first time when we opened, I also informed him that I could organize it for him if he wished.

His reply was, “I am not a desk jockey, honey. You sort that shit, I’ll feed you so many tacos and give you so many orgasms, you won’t be able to move.”

Although both options (primarily the latter) sounded very good to me, I’d returned, “It’ll be difficult to sort your office if I can’t move.”

This got me a very long, very ardent kiss that was only interrupted when a member came in and shouted jovially, “Yo! Get a room!”

Thus, now I was in Jake’s office, sorting it with Alyssa who was there not only because Junior was but also because two of her sons were in the league.

“Josie?” she called when I said nothing.

“Do you think it’s possible to fall in love with a man knowing him only a few weeks?” I asked.

Her expression went from questioning to soft when she answered, “Yes.”

“I’m in love with Jake,” I announced.

“No shit?” she strangely replied.

“No shit,” I decided to answer.

Her lips curved up and she shifted so she was leaning against the desk close to where I was sitting in Jake’s rather tattered office chair.

She bent to me and shared, “Do you know how long it took me to fall in love with Junior?”

I shook my head.

“Thirty minutes,” she declared.

“Thirty minutes?” I asked, surprised for that was no time at all. In fact, that made my falling in love with Jake seem like it took years.

“He picked me up for our date, took me to The Eaves, sat across from me, and after I ordered, I looked at him and he said, straight out, that I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. That did it for me. He put that right out there. He took me to a great place. He didn’t piss around with letting me know he was happy to be there with me. I looked into his eyes, saw how he was looking at me and knew right then that that was just the beginning. We’ve been together for nineteen fan-fucking-tastic years. So I wasn’t wrong.”

“That’s beautiful, Alyssa,” I told her.

“It totally is, Josie,” she agreed.

“I’m happy you have that,” I went on.

“And babelicious,”—she lifted a hand and cupped my cheek, bending even closer—“after your totally fucked up life, I’m freaking thrilled you finally have it too.”

So was I.

I was delighted.

Over the moon.

Walking on air.

My eyes got watery but my lips tipped up and even with my eyes watery, I saw hers were the same.

Suddenly, she dropped her hand and pulled away, announcing, “If we lose it like big goofball girls, we’ll probably be ejected.”

She was wrong. Jake would never eject me. Even for crying in a boxing gym. And he took boxing very seriously.

I didn’t share this.

I advised, “We should deep breathe.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

We deep breathed, making very loud noises doing it.

Then we burst out giggling.

“Woman!” Junior shouted. “There’s no giggling in boxing!”

We both looked out the window to Alyssa’s man and saw him smiling at us.

He didn’t mind the giggling.

In fact, he loved it and he also didn’t mind letting that show.

Yes, I very much liked Junior.

My eyes moved to Jake and I saw he wasn’t smiling, but he was looking into the office at me and his expression was warm and sweet.

I sent a smile his way.

He smiled back.

“Right, so giggling also could get us ejected. Nothing but serious from now on,” Alyssa said, taking my attention off Jake.

I looked to her and pulled a serious face. “Nothing but serious.”

She looked at my face and burst out laughing again.

I joined her.

Junior shouted, “What’d I say?”

I didn’t know him well but I could tell his heart wasn’t in it.

And anyway, for some reason, his shout made Alyssa laugh harder.

So I laughed with her.

* * * * *

Two days later, I lay on my side in Amber’s bed watching boy Taylor, with not a small amount of skill and a great deal talent, sweep her face with a brush.

The door flew open and girl Taylor strode in.

“He’s pulling up the lane,” she announced.

“Oh boy, oh crap, oh God,” Amber started chanting.

But my heart skipped a beat and I looked to girl Taylor.

“Please tell me he didn’t arrive on a motorcycle,” I begged.

“Nope.” She shook her head. “A vintage Mustang.”

“Epic,” boy Taylor breathed.

“His dad restores classic cars for a living,” girl Taylor added. “Alexi works with him on the weekends. He’s always in some kick-butt car.”

“Totally epic,” boy Taylor semi-repeated.

Although I found it gratifying Alexi had employment, especially honoring his father by working in the family business, I couldn’t think of Alexi.

My thoughts were on Amber.

I looked to her.

She looked terrified.

After nearly two weeks of sitting together at lunch, just yesterday, Alexi Prokorov asked Amber out on a date.

We were away to Boston the next morning for the Bounce concert but we weren’t leaving early enough for her to say no to an engagement that night.

She wouldn’t have done that anyway.

She was beside herself with glee just as she was nearly shaking with nerves.

Thus, I had two situations to handle and a very short period of time to do that in. So I pushed myself off Amber’s bed, got close to her and curled my hand under her jaw, bending to get even closer.

“Listen to me and do not forget this,” I said softly. “It is not you who is the lucky one tonight, going out with Alexi Prokorov. It is he who is the lucky one that you said yes. Are you with me?”

Her eyes were big but she nodded.

“You look beautiful,” I whispered, leaned up, kissed her forehead and straightened, looking down at her. “Have a wonderful time, sweetheart.”

She smiled. It trembled a bit but it was gorgeous, filled with excitement and hope, both of which I hoped Alexi Prokorov fulfilled.

I gave a grin to the Taylors and then walked out of the room.

Once out, I hurried down the stairs and reached the bottom to see Jake opening the door for Alexi.

Luckily, I was right on time.

I noted that Alexi was much better looking in person and I was right, he was also quite tall. Not as tall as Jake but not shorter by very much.

“Mr. Spear,” he said, extending his hand to Jake after Jake closed the door behind him.

Jake looked at Alexi’s hand.

I moved close.

Jake looked to Alexi.

I slid my hand in the back pocket of Jake’s jeans and pressed my body to his side.

Jake heard my silent communication and took Alexi’s hand.

He let it go almost instantly and declared, “Her curfew is midnight.”

“I’ll have her home on time,” Alexi replied.

“I hear you got a bike,” Jake noted.

“Yeah,” Alexi confirmed.

“My daughter’s not on it,” Jake announced.

Alexi nodded and looked to me. “You’re Josie, right?”

“Ms. Malone,” Jake corrected.

Alexi’s eyes moved to him then back to me and he murmured, “Sorry. Ms. Malone.”

I smiled at him, extending my hand, saying, “Yes, Alexi. I’m Josie. Ms. Malone.”

“Amber talks about you all the time,” he said, taking my hand, gripping it firmly but briefly before letting it go.

“That’s nice to hear,” I replied but barely got it out before he looked beyond me.

It must be said, I liked how his expression changed for I knew what I’d see when I turned.

And I saw it. Leaving the Taylors behind (it wouldn’t do to let Alexi to know they were there for makeup and moral support), Amber was walking down the stairs.

No short skirt. No lady of the evening makeup. She had on a flattering pair of jeans, my blush colored cashmere sweater, her own pair of fun platform sandals that had a muted collage of pink and brown rope adorning the wedge and she had a chocolate brown suede jacket slung over her arm.

She reached the bottom of the stairs, got close to Alexi, looked up to him and smiled a very pretty, somewhat shy smile

Perfection.

“Hey,” she greeted.

“Hey,” Alexi replied. “You look awesome.”

She dipped her chin a bit, tucked some of her beautiful hair behind her ear and murmured, “Thanks.”

Sheer perfection.

I was so proud of her.

“Someone kill me,” Jake muttered, luckily so low that neither Amber nor Alexi heard him.

Or perhaps they were too into each other to hear Jake.

But I made a noise seeing as I’d swallowed my giggle but in doing so, it was a difficult endeavor.

“Midnight, Amber,” Jake said and Amber looked to him.

“Okay, Dad,” she replied, coming close and moving into his arms.

She kissed his cheek.

He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a tight but brief hug. “Be safe, honey. Yeah?” he asked gently when they’d separated half a foot.

“Yeah, Dad,” she replied sweetly.

He grinned at her and let her go.

Alexi leaned in and took her hand.

The instant his fingers closed around hers, her eyes shot to me and they were alight.

“Have a wonderful time,” I called.

“Thanks,” Amber called back as Alexi moved her out the door.

“Nice to meet you,” Alexi said, pulling her down the walk.

“You too,” I replied, moving with Jake to the door.

Jake did not share my sentiment and I stifled another giggle.

When they made it to the Mustang, Jake closed the door and turned to me.

I looked up at him and noted, “He seems nice.”

“I die a little every time that shit happens.”

I blinked at his words before they poured through me, an elixir so warm, so healing, I knew nothing could ever ail me again. Not if he was in my life. Thus, I moved quickly to him and pressed close, wrapping my arms around him.

He returned the gesture and added putting his lips to my hair.

“You’re such a good dad, Jake Spear,” I whispered into his chest.

He gave me a squeeze but said nothing.

“Was it awesome?” boy Taylor intruded into the moment by asking.

Jake’s arms loosened but he shifted one to wrap around my shoulders as I turned to the stairs to see the Taylors standing at the bottom of them.

“It was awesome,” I confirmed.

Boy Taylor smiled huge, jumped, clapped and high-fived girl Taylor.

Ethan walked through, pushing past them on the stairs, ascending them and mumbling, “You all are whacked.”

I grinned.

The Taylors laughed.

Jake gave my shoulders a squeeze and muttered, “Thank God I got at least six whole years before I gotta go through this shit again with Ethan.”

That was when I looked up at my man and finally let myself giggle.

* * * * *

“Jake,” I moaned.

“Quiet, baby,” he whispered.

“Jake!” I gasped.

“Fuck,” he muttered before he drove his hand in my hair, fisted it, pulled it back and slammed his mouth on mine.

And when he did all this, I cried my orgasm down his throat.

He took it, kissed me after it then broke the connection of our mouths to order, “Lean back.”

I did as best I could, wrapping my fingers around the faucet and planting my hand in the counter on the other side.

Jake yanked my hips that were on the bathroom counter of my hotel room in Boston deeper into his as he kept powering into me.

I lifted my already lifted knees higher.

Jake’s eyes drifted over me and down to our connection.

“Fuck, I love watchin’ you take me,” he grunted.

I loved watching him watch himself take me. So much, I shivered.

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

I clutched him tight with my sex.

His eyes came to mine.

“Beautiful,” he repeated, his voice deeper, rougher and looking into his eyes, I decided he was so…very…right.

Beautiful.

His hips powered into mine harder. “Fuckin’ beautiful.”

“Yes,” I breathed.

“Come here,” he ordered.

I pushed up and wrapped my arms around him.

Jake wrapped an arm around my waist, again drove a hand in my hair, shoved my face in his throat just as it arched back, he thrust in and groaned.

I held him tight to me and traced the ridges of his throat with my tongue.

I loved the feel, the taste, but lost it when he bent his head to bury his face in my neck.

“Sucks, I gotta put you in bed and go,” he said there, his voice gruff through his still uneven breathing.

He was right

It sucked.

But it was after the concert. The Taylors and Amber were sharing one room, Conner and Ethan sharing a room with Jake, I was alone in my room at Jake’s decree for the very purpose of what we were doing in the bathroom.

A plethora of photos of the kids and Lavon as well as the rest of Bounce were all over Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. They’d had the time of their lives, been fabulously star struck, Lavon had been unbelievably lovely, we’d come back to the hotel and they were so wound up, I thought they’d never get to sleep.

They all crashed within half an hour.

That was when Jake came to me.

And now he had to leave me.

Which very much sucked.

He lifted his head and I bent mine back to catch his eyes.

“Think the kids are used to you?” he asked.

“Um…” I mumbled as an answer because I didn’t really know what he was asking.

“Babe, we find our times but I want you in my bed, as in going to sleep with you in it and wakin’ up to you in it. Heads up, tomorrow after you leave our house, I’m sittin’ the kids down and having the discussion.”

“What discussion?” I inquired, stuck on him declaring he wanted to go to sleep and wake up with me in his bed thus not following.

“The Josie’s Gonna Be Spending the Night on A Very Regular Basis Discussion.”

“Oh,” I breathed and did it wondering if I looked as delighted as I was.

His lips quirked and he noted, “See you’re down with that.”

I looked as delighted as I was and didn’t care he knew it.

“I am indeed down with that, darling,” I confirmed.

His lips stopped quirking and he smiled. Then he dipped his head to kiss me. He did this for some time, I enjoyed it immensely through this time, and he kept doing it even as he pulled out.

Then he bent deep to kiss my chest before he moved to deal with the condom.

After he was done with that, he pulled me off the counter, took my hand, tugged me into the bedroom and right to the bed. He bent beyond me to pull back the covers before he gently pressed me into it.

I had on my nightie and no undies.

I didn’t mind this.

Not at all.

I had my hands in prayer position under my cheek, watching him dress, when I asked a question I knew the answer to, “Do you think the kids enjoyed tonight?”

His head turned and his eyes caught mine. “Seriously?”

I bit my lip.

He pulled his shirt on, moved to the bed and sat on the side. Once there, he shifted my hair off my neck then leaned into his hand in the bed behind me so his face was close.

“They loved tonight, Josie,” he said quietly.

I nodded my head on the pillow.

“The whole thing. The trip down. Lobster at a fancy-assed restaurant. Cush hotel the likes none of them have ever seen and girl Taylor’s dad is pretty loaded,” he went on. “Definitely the concert and meetin’ the band.”

“I’m glad,” I whispered.

Jake’s hand moved from the bed so he could use it to cup my jaw.

When he did, I turned into it, pressing my jaw deeper into his hand.

“You mean the world to them, baby,” he whispered. “All of them. Even the Taylors.”

“They mean the world to me,” I replied.

“And you mean the world to me,” he stated.

I blinked.

Then I stared.

Then my heart stopped beating.

“Babe?” he called when I said nothing.

“You mean the world to me too,” I pushed out and when I did, it sounded husky.

“Thank fuck,” he whispered and he meant both words, he meant them a great deal, and that meant a great deal to me. “Kiss me before I do something that does not say good dad and leave my sons alone in a hotel room in Boston all night.”

All our rooms were adjoining. Obviously, the door from my room to his room with the boys was closed, as was the door between their room and Amber and the Taylor’s, but still.

He didn’t want to leave them alone.

Such a good father.

I pushed up and put my lips to his. Then I slid my tongue in his mouth. After mere moments of me enjoying drinking from him, his arms closed around me and he drank from me.

He did it better.

Alas, some time after but still too soon, he ended the kiss, lifted his lips to kiss my nose and put me back in bed.

“See you in the mornin’, Slick.”

“See you in the morning, darling.”

Jake grinned.

I grinned back.

He bent in and kissed my jaw.

Then I watched him move to the adjoining door and through it.

I stared at the closed door long after Jake was gone thinking that I meant the world to Jake Spear.

I meant the world to him.

He told me so.

Thus, mere minutes later, I fell asleep smiling.

* * * * *

It was Sunday.

It was dark.

We were back from Boston. The Taylors had headed home. I’d hung out with Jake and the kids at his house. But now it was time to go home.

Jake was standing outside with me by my Cayenne.

I was in his arms and we were standing close.

“I’ll call you later and tell you how the talk went,” he said.

“Okay,” I replied.

“I don’t get bad vibes, you’re in my bed tomorrow night,” he declared.

This made me slightly nervous but mostly happy so I pressed closer and repeated, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he muttered then dipped his head and touched his mouth to mine. He lifted it and said quietly, “Need to get that shit done.”

“Okay, darling. I’ll talk to you later.”

He touched his mouth to mine, lifted his head again and said, “Yeah.”

I gave him a squeeze and a smile.

Jake returned the gesture.

He then opened my door for me, closed it after I climbed in and stood in the lane that led up to his house while I backed out, turned into the street and drove away.

I didn’t envy him the impending likely uncomfortable discussion with his kids. It was pretty clear they knew what was going on with their dad and I, but bringing it up, discussing it, moving it forward for them in a way that at the very least Conner and Amber would understand, would not be easy.

But I hoped it was relatively painless.

This was on my mind as I drove home.

This was still on my mind when I drove into the curve in front of Lavender House.

It was not on my mind when I saw the shiny black Mercedes parked in front of my house.

“What on earth?” I asked irately into the cab.

I saw Boston Stone move from the shadowed entry of Lavender House as I parked.

I kept my eyes glued to him as I turned off my car, threw open the door, got out, slammed the door, beeped the locks and started to stalk toward him in order to tell him precisely how I felt, not only about a visit late in a Sunday evening, but about any visit from him at all.

However, before I could say a word, I tripped over my feet, righted myself and stopped dead.

Then I went completely still.

And I did this staring at the man who followed Boston Stone from the shadows of the front door of Lavender House.

Staring unthinking but not unfeeling.

And none of the feelings I was having were even remotely good.

For the man who followed Boston Stone was the second to last man I’d ever want to see again in my life.

It was my uncle.