The Will of the Gods

11 Unexpected escape—and unexpected bathe

I lay bare upon the dirt floor of a wooden dwelling, my wrists bound behind me, my ankles tight with leather, fury flooding me so strongly that I rolled about, attempting to free myself. When my senses had returned the new light had already come, the new light of a fey I was to have faced challenge. I knew at once that it was Kalir who had seen to my absence, and had she then been before me and I free, I would have attacked even had I been weaponless and she well armed. My hair snarled beneath me as I fought the leather which kept me from seeing to a matter of honor, leather which belonged to those of the village I had been given to. Clearly had they been given other times those who were not able to be true Midanna, those who were brought to the dwellings of males so that they might be taught to serve as city slave-women. Now did these village males believe me to be one such, and had bound me to keep me from running from them in terror at the thought of my new life. No terror of that sort gripped me, yet did my soul shrink in horror at the thought of continuing unable to answer the challenge which had been given me. I lay bound among those who thought me theirs, those who had no knowledge of the visiting place I had come from. How then, even when I had freed myself, was I to return from whence I had come? The trail of those who had brought me was long gone beneath the relentless rains; how was I to return to face challenge? These were the unanswered demands which set me to thrashing about, yet did the thrashing bring no answers.

Perhaps two hind passed into the new fey, and none came to look upon their captive. The room I lay in contained three small windows, high in the wooden walls, useless for escape yet large enough to show that Mida’s tears no longer fell. All along one wall stood large round wooden holders of some sort, the contents closed well within so that the liquid might not flow free unintentionally, yet not closed so tightly that I was unable to detect the odor of unbrewed daru. Large was that amount of daru, nearly enough for all of those who normally dwelled in a village of this sort, and I knew not why it would be kept so in a single dwelling. Strange were those of villages, nearly as strange as those of the cities, all as strange as males were no matter where found. Again I moved upon the dirt floor, attempting to control my growing annoyance, and the latch upon the single door rose as the door was pushed open. Males entered, four mature males and three who seemed not long come to the state, and beyond them was not the open of trees and skies, but another, larger room of the dwelling. The lack of sight of the open brought me sudden, unreasoning anger, causing me to struggle again as the males closed the door behind them and came to stand above me.

“Enough of that foolishness, girl,” said one of the males, the annoyance in tone and eyes bringing me memory of his voice in the darkness. The second male was he, one who had little patience for screams and weepings and refusals, a thing easily to be seen in the sternness of his visage. Square-faced was he, dark-haired and dark-eyed, no larger than I yet a good deal broader.

“Release me at once!” I snapped, sending my anger to this coldly disapproving male with both voice and eye. “I am a warrior of Mida, a thing you should be well familiar with, male! Release me or face the consequences which will surely come.”

“You are now no more than a wench of this village, girl,” replied the male, scorn and a greater annoyance showing strongly in his eyes. “You have been sent away from those other wenches forever, for you have not proven worthy of remaining with them. We, however, shall not send you away, for there shall ever be uses a female may be put to. You will be taught to obey and to serve your betters, and these things you will learn quickly if you wish to avoid punishment. How long have you known the use of men?”

“Your understanding is as deep as that of all males,” said I with a sound of disdain, paying no mind to the question which had been put to me. “I am not a cast-off, proven unworthy of warriorhood, I am a war leader who has foolishly allowed herself to fall victim to one who fears to face her. You do not now concern yourself with warriors-to-be who shall never be, male. I am a full warrior and war leader, one who will take vengeance for any insult now offered me.”

“You are a young female bound helpless at the feet of men,” said the male, the remorselessness in his tone turning him blind to any other view of the matter. “No matter what place you held before, no matter how high you believed your position to be, you are now no more than any other wench in this village, and in many ways a good deal less. This truth you had best accustom yourself to, girl, else shall your kalod here be filled with naught save pain.”

“The girl is surely frightened at having been abandoned by her own, Filosel,” said another of the males, his voice soothing, his manner kindly. “Perhaps it would be best if we were to leave her in peace for now, so that she might become accustomed to her new lot.”

“This arrogant varaina feels no fright, man,” said the other, scornfully. “See the silver rings in each of her ears, confirming the boast of her former importance. One such as she feels no fear of men, for ever has she had armed wenches behind her when she faced them down. It has not yet come to her that she no longer has such overwhelming advantage, nor has she been taught the true strength of men. You must recall that war leaders take, never are they, themselves, taken. She is not untouched, as were the others, therefore may she be quickly taught her new place. Would you have us leave her to her arrogance, and thereby increase the difficulty of whichever man of our village claims her?”

“Perhaps you are correct,” sighed the other male, a faint sadness in him. “It would indeed be considerably more cruel to allow her to believe she may have her own will here as she did in her former life. It simply disturbs me to look upon her so, naked and bound, for she greatly resembles my own daughter.”

“This one is daughter to no man,” said Filosel abruptly. “Is there shame in her eyes for the manner in which her entire body has been exposed to the sight of men? Does she agonize over such exposure, knowing well what the sight of her is likely to cause a man to do? No father had she to speak of these things to her, therefore must she be taught by other means the need to cover herself at all times. We avoid much difficulty, both for ourselves and the wench, by doing as we now do.”

“Your wisdom is the reason for your position as our headman, Filosel,” said the other, his acquiescence now complete. “It would disturb me considerably more if my girl were to see this one so unconcerned over such shameful behavior. She must not be allowed to set a bad example for the young and innocent.”

“Then we may begin with no further delay,” said the male Filosel, a heavy satisfaction now upon him, an anticipation of enjoyment glittering in the dark of his eyes. “You must know, girl, that to show yourself to men in such a brazen fashion is to invite the rousing of their lusts and passions, a doing which will bring you no pleasure and considerable pain. These young men will teach you the consequences of exhibiting yourself, for they will do what any young men would do, given such provocation. The man who chooses you for his own will do more, for you will belong to him and he may do as he wishes with that which belongs to him. Think upon how you may please him, in the hind to come, so that he will not allow such a thing to be done to you again—and may perhaps be persuaded to give you pleasure rather than punishment. The time spent will not be wasted.”

With a nod of his head and a glance, the male then gathered the other three older males and led them out. Then, the three who had been left grinned down upon me.

“Oh, see how large her breasts are,” said one with light hair and eyes, his words nearly a croon as his gaze caressed me. “Never before have I seen breasts so large!”

“Never before have you seen breasts of any sort,” retorted a second, this one dark of hair and eye, who wet his lips repeatedly beneath an unwavering gaze. “The whipping we were given for attempting to watch the women and girls bathe in the stream kept us both from it.”

“That was when you were boys,” said the third, who seemed somewhat older than the others. “Now that you have become men and will soon seek women of your own, you must know what you are about with them. Look here.”

This third male crouched beside me, the his eyes amused, and put the flat of his hand to my belly. I moved in anger against the leather which held me still for so insulting a touch, and the young male laughed.

“Wenches are aware of the nearness of a man no matter where they are touched,” said he, speaking to the other two yet looking only upon me. “The softness of their skin will draw that touch and they, as though caressed intimately, will prepare themselves to receive him.”

His hand upon me was completely unmoving, as inert and unknowledgeble as his words, his eyes seeking the heat which he clearly believed would quickly begin to rise. Though I no longer wore my life sign it was as though I retained it still, for I felt no desire for these clumsy, gawking children of villages. Was it their intention to raise interest in me, they would be some time in the doing.

“She scarcely seems prepared for us, Lediald,” said the darker-haired male, bending somewhat where he stood beyond where the male Lediald crouched, his tone greatly unsure. “Where are the indications of arousal I have heard spoken of?”

“She seeks to put us off, Saladur,” replied Lediald, his words filled with a greater assurance than his eyes. “She fears what we mean to do, you see, and uses that fear to keep arousal from her flesh. We, however, shall not allow her to continue on so. You and Nergalis may also touch her, in any manner you please.”

Greatly elated seemed the two younger males, and eagerly did they come nearer to where I lay before going to their knees and putting hands upon me. Easily might it be seen through the colored cloth of their body wraps that their own excitement was high, yet was I given naught save annoyance through their gropings. For a hand of reckid did the touching continue with naught save panting to break the silence, and then did he called Lediald speak.

“Now do I see the truth,” said he, his voice rough with need and embarrassment. He had forced his hand between my thighs, the grin of anticipation he had worn full with regained confidence, and at that point had he attempted to lock his gaze to mine. Although I could not deny the faint trace of moisture such a touch produced within me, the heavy scorn to be seen in my eyes had deeply wounded the male. “This backward forest wench continues to be filled with arrogance,” said he in a growl, his free hand coming to my breast to give me pain with the tightening of his fingers. “She has not yet been shown what men are able to do to her, therefore shall we show her—upon the moment!”

Roughly did the male push aside the other two, move to my ankles, then begin to remove the leather upon them with short, angry movements. When he at last pulled the leather from me I attempted to kick at those who looked upon me as theirs, yet were they prepared for such a doing and quickly captured my just-freed ankles. The male Lediald put himself between my widely held legs, opened his body wrap, then approached me to thrust within. His attempt to give me further pain was only partially successful, for my body quickly saw to its own protection. Much did I anticipate a doing such as the one of the males of the clans, or that of the Sigurri males who had brought me to the Caverns of the Doomed, therefore did I attempt to brace myself against lengthy assault; consider my surprise when these village males, first Lediald and then the others, each found release in no more than a matter of a few reckid! When the last of the three withdrew after a performance barely begun, I looked upon each of them, no more than a few kalod younger than I, and could not hold back my laughter. So here was the reason for the dissatisfaction of village and city females! To be bound to males of such inadequacy was reason for a great deal more than dissatisfaction! I threw my head back and laughed as I had not laughed in some time, and that despite the vengeance I knew the males would take. The pain my amusement would bring me was scarcely to be regretted; far better to show these useless, foolish males my true opinion of them.

Indeed were the three taken with shame and anger, yet was the pain I had anticipated scarcely brought forth. A few pinchings and slaps were produced, and much growling and complaints, however such feeble attempts were unable to diminish my amusement. Again and again did the three touch me all about, attempting to raise my desire and their own, yet even their own arousal refused to come forth. The more earnestly they made the attempt, the more steadfastly did their bodies refuse them, much as though they were captured males among the clans who were filled with great fear. Such males were useless without the sthuvad drug having been fed them, and so did these males prove to be to themselves. Hind passed in the time of their attempts, hind filled with shame and frustration for them, boredom and discomfort for me, yet little else of any sort. The males could not bring me to desire for them, nor themselves to desire for me; the two younger did indeed come to tears and the third to cursing, yet naught else occurred. When at last, in heavy misery-filled silence they sat back from me and hung their heads, I became aware of the weariness which filled me. The dragged sleep I had been given had not been restful, therefore did natural sleep have little difficulty in finding me.

The sound of the opening door brought me awake, also bringing me surprise. Darkness filled the dirt-floored room I lay in, a darkness now breached by the candle held by one of those who entered.

Four males were there, the same four elder males who had come earlier with the younger three, and beyond them was I able to see the greater illumination in the larger room, and hear the low mutterings of many males in converse. I sat up as quickly as my still-bound wrists allowed, only then realizing that the leather had not been replaced upon my ankles, and the four males halted to look down upon me.

“As the greater part of her arrogance has already been seen to, we may now give her to whichever man desires her,” said the male who held the candle, he who was called Filosel. The satisfaction in his voice was thick indeed, yet was I unable to comprehend the reason for its presence. Had he not spoken with the younger males who had been left to see to me? Had they not told him of the failure they had found in their task? Two of those who accompanied Filosel came forward to raise me to my feet, and he who had held my left arm put his hands to the leather about my wrists. A brief moment saw the leather gone, yet the pain of movement would not be so easily seen to. I moved my arms forward for the first time in many hind, and the male Filosel chuckled.

“The pain of punishment remains with her,” said he, far more pleased with that thought than the fact that our eyes were level, one set to the other. The pain he saw upon me came from no source other than the movement of my arms, and the snort of disdain I gave sound to removed a good deal of his satisfaction. Curtly he gestured to those who had raised me to standing, and again were my arms grasped, this time so that I might be forced after the male with the candle, who had turned to lead the way to the larger room from which they had all come.

The second room of the dwelling was indeed larger than the one which had held me since I had awakened. Many candles sat in sconces hung upon the wooden walls, illuminating the many small wooden platforms at which sat more than five or six hands of males. These males sat cross-legged upon the dirt floor with tall pots of unbrewed daru in their hands, and the sound of converse ceased when I was pulled before them. Many eyes took in my form, and the manner in which my breasts moved as I attempted to rub the pain from my arms, and then did the sound of their muttering return at a higher level. He who was called Filosel took the flame from the candle he held with a single breath, then brought one hand up in a gesture of silencing.

“You now see the wench before you,” said he when the greatest part of the sound of others had ceased. “She will be given to the most deserving of you who has no woman of his own. What number of you find interest in her?”

A bare moment of hesitation passed and then, by ones and fives, did the seated males all put arms in the air. A great laughter arose from this doing, as though they made sport of the male Filosel, yet did Filosel show a smile of amusement and shake his head.

“Never before have I seen so large a number of men in this village without women of their own,” said he. “Shall I fetch those who believe they have men here before putting the question again?”

“No!” came the shouts of many males amid much laughter, and then were many arms withdrawn till no more than four were left. This number was more to Filosel’s liking, and again he nodded.

“You men each have need of a woman, and find desire for this one,” said he, looking one by one upon the four. “You must know that she is wild yet, and badly in need of taming. Should any of you not feel up to such a thing, you may withdraw your request.”

“Withdrawal is scarcely a thing to be considered with a wench such as that,” said one of the four, a large, brown-haired male filled with amusement. “First does one contemplate penetration, and only then, after a good deal of doing, is withdrawal to be considered.”

Laughter rose all about at the words of this male, heavy laughter filled with ridicule for she who stood before them. Anger rose in me at such foolishness, and I straightened as I looked upon the male who had spoken, sending the sharpness of my gaze to him.

“Your concept of a good deal of doing must surely be the equal of a full three hands of reckid,” said I, allowing a lazy drawl to come to my voice. “Village males are clearly capable of no more of a doing than that—else would they be accepted for service to Midanna.”

Now was there a growl of insult to be heard from the seated males, and Filosel turned in fury to glare upon me. Before he might speak, however, the seated male who had last spoken rose angrily to his feet.

“So, you believe yourself still in a position to command men and give them insult, eh, wench?” he demanded, his own head held high as he spoke. “For too long have we found it necessary to accept the sneers and posturings of savage females, a doing which is no longer necessary with you! You will be taught to go to your knees before men, to serve them without complaint, to speak only when spoken to, and then with naught save deference! In such a manner shall we regain some of our own, with one of theirs to teach the meaning of humiliation to!”

“Humiliation is easily given to a captive, male,” said I, taking no note of the blaze of fury in his eyes as I folded my arms across my chest, the word “savage” twisting me about within as ever it had done. “Not as easily accomplished is the regaining of one’s honor from those who have taken it. The facing of an armed warrior would accomplish this end for you, yet have you clearly the stomach for no more than the facing of unarmed captives. Never will you regain any part of that which you have so easily given up, male, no matter the pain and shame you see fit to inflict upon others. Only in honorable doings does one find honor itself, a thing those in this village have yet to learn.”

“How boldly speaks the brave Midanna, seeking to shame those she cannot hope to best,” sneered the male above the growlings of fury and anger which rose all about, and then did he draw the dagger which hung belted at his waist. “Let us see how quickly words of apology may be made to come, words which may come quickly enough to save the tongue which speaks them. A tongueless woman takes only a little pleasure from a man, while giving him the priceless gift of her endless silence. The trade is one none here would refuse, I think.”

Now were there shouts of agreement as the male slowly began to approach me, moving past those who urged him on with high-burning approval. I quickly unfolded my arms as he neared, knowing he had not spoken in jest, yet was I seized again by those who had pulled me from my original room of capture. Each of my arms was taken by a male, an attempt to hold me still for that which would be done by another of their number, and abruptly did I recall each of the other times the strength of males had held me so. Vile were males, intent upon no other thing than the shaming of warriors and the giving of pain, and without thought did the brightly blossoming fury within me take up the teaching I had been given. The ball of my sharply upswinging foot caught the male grasping the dagger in his manhood, bringing a scream to his throat as he dropped the weapon to clutch at himself and fall to the dirt of the floor. With barely an instant between movements did I lower my right leg and then kick out again, this time with my heel into him who held my right arm. That male, too, bent with a muffled shout, already having released my arm, the arm which moved with fisted hand and great speed toward the male on my left. Into the throat of the male did the fist go, the elbow prepared to follow in a backswing, yet did the second blow prove unnecessary. As my right arm was released so, too, was the left, allowing me to jump for and take up the dagger of the first male. Hands reached for me amid great shoutings and cursings, hands I slashed at blindly as I fought my way free of all those about me, and then did I stand with a wall at my back, a dagger in my fist, and a snarl of continued rage in my throat, looking upon a scene of chaos.

All about, males stood and shouted in fury, shaking fists and glaring in blood insult. Those three I had seen to with my new learning continued to writhe upon the ground, the first emptying himself, the third struggling to bring breath into his body. Two other males held hands to bloody gashes, the leavings of the dagger I now had my fist wrapped about, and a hand of others stood nearer than the rest, seeking to gather their courage to leap upon me. He who was called Filosel stood among the five who attempted my recapture, and truly livid with rage was he.

“You filthy savage!” he screamed, trembling with the strength of his emotions. “To attempt to give a savage the benefits of a civilized existence is to be spat upon for the effort, without any thought of gratitude whatsoever! Now will we take your arrogance with your life, and throw your corpse where it most belongs—with the beasts of the forests! Slay her!”

A snarl of agreement came from those he stood among, and all began to approach me at once, spread out so that it would not be possible for me to reach them all with the dagger. One or two might fall to me, perhaps even three, but the others would surely break through despite the weapon I held. My fingers tightened about the hilt as I crouched lower, determined to take as many with me to the final darkness as possible, and then there came another voice, carrying easily above the din of the village males.

“If it is gratitude you wish, you may have mine, providing you now halt where you are,” it said, causing the males before me to whirl about. “I will be extremely grateful if we need not take the lives of any of you, for we have come for something other than slaying. Your village has no need of a captured hadat, while we desire no other thing. Release the wench to us, and we will take her and go. ”

“The wench?” demanded Filosel in outrage, the while I stared gape-mouthed at him who stood in the opened doorway at the far side of the room. No other than Aysayn was it, he who was called Sigurr’s Shadow, he who now brought the Sigurri warriors to battle with the strangers. A large number of black-clad Sigurri warriors were to be seen behind him, all of whom stood taller than any village male, all of whom stood armed with sword as well as dagger. A smile of amusement touched Aysayn at the gawking stares from all about, and he raised his blond head beneath them.

“Who are you?” demanded Filosel. “What do you do here in our village? And for what conceivable reason would you wish the possession of this she-savage?”

“I do not care for your use of the term ‘savage,’ ” said Aysayn. “The wench you thought to do with as you please is precious to me, a sister warrior I value most highly. I recommend that you step away from her, and that right quickly.”

A brief moment did Aysayn look about himself, his light eyes hard and without warmth, his left hand caressing the hilt of his sword, and then did he begin walking toward me, directly through the village males. No more than an instant did they hesitate and then were they backing from him, opening a clear path between us, casting uneasy glances upon the Sigurri who quietly entered to stand before the door. At last did I feel free to straighten from my crouch, and again Aysayn smiled as he halted before me.

“I see Chaldrin has been engaged in teaching,” said he, having glanced at those who littered the ground. “I must be sure not to challenge you again, for I value the life you returned in the Caverns. Have they harmed you?”

Despite the lightness of his tone, his pale eyes glittered with the query, his palm again at the hilt of his sword. So strange was it, this concern from one who was only male, this support against those who were also male. Sister had he called me, aloud and unashamed before strangers and followers alike, a doing to make a warrior feel equally strange.

“I am unharmed,” I allowed, looking up into the light pools which looked down upon me. “Had your arrival been delayed it might perhaps have been otherwise, yet was your arrival not delayed. No other than they, themselves, have been harmed.”

“Had it been Mehrayn in my place, a great number more of them would have found harm,” said he, putting a gentle palm to my face. “Were you brought here in naught save leg bands, or have you a covering to fetch?”

“My breech was about me when I came here,” said I, and then did I look at Filosel. “That one is the likeliest to know the whereabouts of it. ”

“Have her covering brought at once,” said Aysayn to Filosel, and that male made haste to gesture another to Aysayn’s bidding. That other male moved quickly into the second, smaller room, and again Aysayn looked upon me. “Also is your life sign no longer hung about your throat.” said he, a small narrowing to be seen about his eyes. “Is it, too, now in the possession of those in this village?”

“My life sign is in the possession of another,” said I, and the coldness in my voice caused disturbance among the village males. “She it was who was to have faced me in challenge at the new light of this fey, a war leader of Midanna who first gave challenge, then made certain that that challenge would not be answered. When I find her, she will discover that it would have been best to face me and fall the first time.”

“A not unreasonable attitude,” agreed Aysayn, looking upon the male who had made haste to fetch my breech. I took the breech from him and put it on, and Aysayn gestured away the hovering male, who backed quickly with great relief. “When we leave here we may, if you wish, ride directly to the visiting place,” said Aysayn. “It is perhaps two hind in distance from this village, and there we may take our rest for the balance of this darkness.”

“You know the location of the visiting place?” I asked sharply, jerking my head up to stare at Sigurr’s Shadow. “How is it possible for you to know such a thing, and how was it possible for you to come here? I had meant to speak of this at a later time, without these others about, yet now . . . .”

“Your original thought was sound,” said Aysayn. “We may speak more easily as we ride.”

Though I truly wished to continue questioning him, I was able to see that Aysayn had reasons of his own to withhold his replies. With that in view I tied on my breech quickly, retrieved the dagger I had taken, then began moving wordlessly toward the door. No more than two steps had I taken, when Aysayn’s hand came to my shoulder.

“You need not take that weapon with you,” said he, gesturing toward the dagger I held. “I was advised to bring sword and dagger with me, for your own would not be available. It seems I was correctly advised.”

“Advised!” I repeated in exasperation. Allowing the single word to stand for all, then, I turned my eyes toward the male from whom I had taken the dagger, held it by the point for throwing, then raised my arm. The male, who continued to lie painfully curled upon the ground, saw the movement of my arm, paled even further than he already had, then hid his face and head with his own arms. Surely did he believe that I meant to return his weapon by embedding it in his flesh, yet only males such as he acted so toward those who were unarmed. The dagger struck the ground and entered it with the force of my throw, half blade deep not far from the quivering male, and then I was able to turn for the last time and leave that place. Aysayn followed behind, chuckling, and none sought to bar our way.

Without was the darkness fresh and clean, the air sweet despite the fact that the rains had been gone for many hind, perhaps even for the entire fey. I took the swordbelt and dagger given me, donned them and mounted the kan indicated as mine, then rode beside Aysayn before his Sigurri as we left the village. No longer did I wait than till we had chosen our direction through the forests, and then did I turn to the dark form who rode to my left.

“Now you may speak, and I would have you do so quickly-brother. In what manner were you able to know of my need—and the place I had been taken?”

Though I was unable to see Aysayn in the darkness of the forests, I was, in some manner, able to feel his amusement at the difficulty I had had in calling him brother. I had not had such difficulty with Chaldrin. yet was Chaldrin not the same as Aysayn. I had not spoken the word untruthfully, yet were my feelings for Chaldrin entirely different from those I felt toward Sigurr’s Shadow.

“Simply said, my knowledge came from a man called S’Heernoh, a Walker who rides with two of my warriors and one of yours,” said Aysayn, the dark form of his face turned toward me. “I was told that the mist which covered the Snows when you and he attempted to walk them disappeared as suddenly as it had come, after you had been gone a short time. He walked the Snows alone, discovered the difficulty you would have, used the Snows to discover our location in the forests, then all four rode to intercept our host. As luck would have it we were nearly upon them without knowing of it, and at their urging we all continued on, then I with a small number of my warriors rode to your assistance. There is more to come, this S’Heernoh believed, yet was he still uncertain as to the specific difficulty to be faced. He had not had the time to pursue what he had seen only glancingly, yet has he now been given the time. He will surely have more to speak of when we have returned.”

Though the male was no more able to see me than I him, I nevertheless nodded to acknowledge his words in the midst of my distraction. Apparently S’Heernoh’s contention had been correct, and the Snows has been barred to me over some particular unforseen circumstance. My time of capture in the village had not been unduly harsh, although I had been given pain by Kalir’s males, I felt that the time of difficulty was yet before me, perhaps in what S’Heernoh had only glimpsed. I would speak with him as soon as we returned to where they waited, and then perhaps the last of the mist would be blown away.

“I have not had the opportunity to ask sooner, therefore shall I do so now,” said Aysayn, breaking gently into my thoughts. “Mehrayn and Chaldrin—were they left some place other than where the four who came to us were left? For what reason did they fail to remain together?”

“Mehrayn and Chaldrin insisted upon accompanying three Midanna warriors,” said I, taking a deep breath of the air of forest darkness. “As free males are not permitted to enter Midanna lands, it was necessary that they beg to follow a war leader, giving each his word that he would obey her in all things. At this moment they undoubtedly give pleasure to whichever warriors chose them for the darkness, for they are bound to be obedient in such a way.”

“Mehrayn?” said Aysayn, a slowly dawning delight in his voice. “He begged to follow a war leader and gave a vow of obedience? He now gives pleasure to a wench who commands him, her will above his? I do not mean to doubt your word, wench, yet this I find somewhat difficult to believe.”

“In no other manner was he able to accompany me, and insistently did he refuse to remain behind,” said I with a shrug. “His manner of service during the last of our journey was somewhat short of acceptable, yet do I feel that the punishment given him did much to correct the fault.”

“Service,” laughed Aysayn, true enjoyment in the sound, and then did he abruptly lose his amusement. “You—gave him—punishment?” he asked, a certain disquiet in the words. “You could not have—What sort of punishment was he given?”

“By my command, Chaldrin switched him for insolence,” I replied, puzzled by Aysayn’s sudden concern. “Was I to allow him to continue in insolence, in defiance of my authority? It was he who insisted upon giving oath to a Midanna; was I to allow him to believe the doing was idle?”

“Ah, Sigurr, now must you truly give her your protection,” said the male with a sigh. “You have erred, my girl, in believing Mehrayn a man who might be done in such a manner. I have no doubt that his feelings for you drove him to make such a desperate vow, and those feelings are undoubtedly unchanged. The point he is sure to dispute with you is the difference between a man who yearns to follow and obey a woman, and a man who takes desperate measures to follow and protect a woman. The two are not the same, sister, which I fear you will learn when once this matter of your leadership is done. You should not have given him a slavey’s punishment.”

“The punishment of a male who follows her is the right of any warrior,” I insisted. “Had Mehrayn wished to be kept free of it, he had only to keep his vow unspoken. It was not I who demanded that he accompany me; on the contrary, it was my will that he remain behind. His absolute refusal to agree to such a thing caused his distress, a typical stubbornness of males. Had he remained with the others, he would have gone unpunished. ”

“You gave him punishment for disobeying you when he was free to do as he pleased?” Aysayn asked very softly, a clear attempt to keep insult from the words. “I had thought you possessed of a greater sense of fairness than that. And he could not have remained behind and also remained unpunished, wench. To see the woman of your heart ride off alone into great danger is a harsher punishment for a man than any other might conceivably be. Were you unaware of that truth?”

“Then it would seem he has little cause for complaint,” I replied stiffly. “That he was allowed the lesser punishment is scarcely a point for contention—should such foolishness be looked upon by him as truth. The final truth he must learn is that I am a war leader of Mida; any male who wishes to follow me must do as Mehrayn has given his word to do for only a short time: absolutely unquestioning and with absolute obedience. It is then my privilege to allow or disallow the thing.”

“You have come to the decision to drive him from you, then,” said Aysayn, a deep sadness clear in the heaviness of his tone. “I believe you know as well as I that Mehrayn would find it impossible to live such a life. What you have failed to take into consideration, wench, is that the Sword is unlikely to allow matters to rest so. Do you deem it wise to give him no choice save to carry you off?”

“Such a choice is scarcely likely to be allowed him,” I replied in a mutter, weary of the topic of conversation. “That I am Mida’s is deterrent enough; that he is now also Mida’s is more to the point, for she will allow him no such doing, no more, perhaps, than the thought of it. And I am not one who takes the male of another without let and without challenge. The male Mehrayn has done well putting himself beyond all mortal females. May he joy in the state.”

In seeming confusion did Aysayn attempt to speak further upon what had been said, yet was I determined to have no more of it. Our kand found difficulty in picking their way through the darkness of the forests, therefore did increasing the pace we held to cause all to give greater attention to where we rode than to speech. We were indeed a pair of hind from where the balance of the Sigurri waited with Ilvin and S’Heernoh, and more than once during our journey through the darkness did Aysayn mutter the deeply felt wish that Mehrayn were immediately available to resume his place at the head of the Sigurri host. The movement and disposition of so many warriors was seen to effortlessly by the Sword, awkwardly and with much effort by the Shadow. Had Mehrayn’s need to ride ahead not been so great, never would Aysayn have attempted even temporary leadership-words, I felt, which were an attempt to reopen already closed issues. I gave my attention to the forests all about, to the distant screams of hunters and the desperate scurryings of prey, and allowed my silence to speak for me. No longer was Jalav plagued by a need for males, a blessing far too long in the coming.

The end of our journey saw us nearly to the visiting place, at a location which had been deemed by Aysayn to be of sufficient distance from the clans that battle would not be provoked by male presence. I saw at once that his concept of sufficient distance was scarcely adequate to keep the outlying sentries from learning of their presence, and although they had come to that place just after darkness had fallen, I was greatly surprised that battle had not already been joined. I looked frowningly about as we rode through many, many sets of resting Sigurri warriors up to the fire where those of my former traveling set awaited, seeing no sign of any who should have been at the least keeping the intruders under observation, then had my attention been forcibly taken by S’Heernoh’s extreme agitation.

“Lady Jalav, you must make the utmost haste!” he cried, striding swiftly to the side of my kan, Ilvin and others following angrily in his wake. “The Snows have shown me an unbelievably large gathering of those gray-clad followers of the Oneness—who at this very moment attack the tents of the wenches you would have follow you!”

“What foolishness do you speak?” I demanded, looking down upon him without dismounting. “The gray-clad ones are cowards, and totally without skill. Were they so witless as to attack Midanna, they would none of them survive.”

“They attack with countless jars containing Sigurr’s Breath!” snarled the Sigurri Gidain, he who had also been of my traveling set. “The jars are thrown down and broken near the wenches and in their tents, freeing the vapors which the wenches have no knowledge of. One breath and the strongest warrior falls senseless, easy prey to those who wear moistened cloth over noses and mouths! The vapors are insufficient to slay them, merely do they render them senseless! Those followers of abomination have come for slaves, and Dotil and Wedin are among those marked to be enslaved! We must ride to their assistance at once!”

Stunned understanding came to me then, for I well remembered the cavern of the gray-clad males and the scent I had detected which Chaldrin had named Sigurr’s Breath. It had been for the vapors that the males had chosen the cavern, and those others mentioned at times by the gray-clad ones we had encountered were those who had come ahead, together and prepared, for the taking of a large number of the females they sought to serve them. Now they attacked Midanna warriors with their coward’s weapon, and those warriors fell before them! I spoke quickly to Aysayn, bidding him gather a larger force than those few who had ridden with him to the village, then turned again to Gidain.

“For that reason has their attack only just begun?” I demanded, aware of the manner in which Aysayn roused set after set of his encamped males, and sent them running to their kand. “Their arrival in this place must necessarily have been much sooner than ours. For what reason did they fail to strike sooner?”

“Clearly must the rains have kept them from it,” said S’Heernoh, speaking when Gidain scowled in lack of knowledge. “The moisture of heavy rains would render the vapors harmless without the tents, and as for within—” His shoulders moved uncertainly. “—Within they should have had no difficulty whatsoever, no matter the presence of rain without. ”

“Save that in the rains,” said I, “the tents could not be approached without alerting the sentries, who were themselves beneath the tears of Mida and therefore untouchable by the vapors. Should even a single sentry have been able to cry a warning before being stain, the entire camp would have been roused and the males would have found death rather than slaves. This darkness must surely be the first without the tears of Mida since the arrival of the males.”

“You are surely correct, lady,” said S’Heernoh, his upturned eyes showing awareness of the fact that he alone now remained before me. Ilvin and Gidain and Rinain, the second Sigurri warrior who had ridden with us, had seen how quickly Aysayn’s force formed, therefore had they run to their own kand to prevent their being left to watch the departure of others. “You must guard yourself in the coming encounter, lady,” said S’Heernoh, his voice soft with an odd manner of concern. “Certain victory has not yet been determined for you, therefore must you be alert for a slip in the Snows.”

“I will be sure to guard myself amid these large numbers of males, S’Heernoh,” said I, smiling somewhat as I loosened my blade in its scabbard, my kan dancing about with the hurry of all those about us. Then did I recall the questions I had for the male and began to speak the first, concerning the circumstance which I felt was yet before me, however the hurry of the Sigurri had at last produced results and all were prepared to ride. S’Heernoh stepped back with a hand raised in farewell as Aysayn regained my side, therefore did I turn from questioning and begin the short journey to battle.

From the camp Aysayn had chosen, the ride to the visiting tents was a matter of reckid. We left our mounts among the trees and ran forward afoot, finding that the followers of the Oneness had left no sentries of their own. Among the tents themselves chaos reigned, for some few warriors had not been taken by the vapors and attempted to do solitary battle with those who outnumbered them so greatly. Many, many Midanna lay unmoving, some in pools of their own blood, some already giving use to those who had captured them despite their lack of awareness. Much did it seem as though the gray-clad males were everywhere, therefore was it unnecessary to choose a place of battle; battle was brought to us as quickly as we appeared, a wildness and rage gripping those who hurled themselves upon us. For each three males who were empty-handed save for a sword, a fourth stood about with a torch as well, therefore was the area well lit for the slaying which we quickly became a part of.

Odd indeed is the passage of time, scarcely ever flowing at a uniform rate, indeed, upon occasion, flowing at more than a single rate. In the midst of the joy of battle does one find this dual rate, the speed with which one’s sword moves to guard one’s flesh and end one’s enemy amid the well-nigh leisurely flow of the battle itself—at times does individual combat slow to the rhythm of graceful posturing, and the balance of battle all about grows frantic with haste. The battle we joined then contained little joy, therefore was there naught of the smooth flow which brings pleasure, naught of equal meeting equal. Little more than butchering was there, causing the time to sit heavily upon us, quickly taking even the vengeful anger from us. I hacked and thrust my way through clamoring gray-clad males till I stood beside a lone, embattled warrior, a Sarda by the violet of her covering, her own blood and that of others smeared here and there upon her. Alone she had been able to do little more than hold her own; with my blade beside hers mere defense became concerted attack, and those who thought to end her were themselves ended, instead. With the last gray-clad male upon the ground, I quickly told the Sarda that those who wore black were allies and friends, therefore were they not to be set upon once battle was done. Oddly did she look upon me, as though I were returned from Mida’s Blessed Realm, and then was she gone to aid others. I had no understanding of the reason for her strange manner, yet had I also no time to consider the point. There were others about the wide-spread camp in need of assistance, and this I began to see to with all haste.

Much time passed with no less difficulty, the manner of battle fought by the gray-clad males sufficient to turn the stomach of any true warrior. Rarely, after their initial attempt to overwhelm, did any of their number stand and face what came, save for the times when many of them were able to fall upon considerably fewer of ours. Many torches were quickly extinguished by intent, so that the gray-clad ones were more easily able to slip away in the humid, overcast darkness. The torches were relit by the Sigurri, and then did we pursue the craven males deeper into the camp, at times pausing to fight, more often cornering and slaughtering. Well covered were we with the sweat of effort and frustration, yet did we continue to press the followers of the Oneness, so that they would not have opportunity to slay in anger those they would be unable to bring away with them as slaves.

Ilvin had at first attempted to remain beside me, yet had she quickly gone off to spread the word of Sigurri assistance to those warriors who still stood. Gidain and Rinain, those two who had ridden with our set, had led a number of their brothers toward the not easily distinguished blue tents of the Summa, clearly seeking Wedin and Dotil. Aysayn, leading half our number, had taken the direction opposite to mine, leaving the balance of his warriors to prowl in my wake as I sought further prey. All about were there the unmoving bodies of warriors, most having been clearly taken from their tents, all seeming without life though most undoubtedly survived. The sight brought even greater upset to the Sigurri than it did to this Midanna, and wordless snarls accompanied their eager seeking of gray-clad enemies. For what reason they felt so, I knew not, the strangeness of Sigurri grew with each new thing one learned of them.

We had carried our stalking to the shadowed tents of Selga gold, when a somewhat different sight greeted us. To one side of the unmoving Selga warriors lay the equally unmoving bodies of five males, each clad in the colorless coverings of males who followed warriors. These males, however, might scarcely be looked upon as merely slumbering—they had been thrown into a heap and their throats had then been opened, spreading the red of gore all about and upon them. The restless torch I held high above the five showed this clearly, also showing that neither Chaldrin nor Mehrayn were among them. I gave silent thanks to Mida for so great a boon, then wordlessly called the cursings of stupidity down upon my own head. Mindlessly I had believed that the two Sigurri would be in no danger, for I had forgotten that they wore no weapons which might be wielded against the gray-clad faith, and had not thought upon the obvious fate of any males found among the Midanna. My fist closed so tight about the hilt of my sword that an ache came to my fingers, yet I heeded it not as I quickly looked about. It would be necessary to search each of the many Selga tents, yet would I continue on till I had found—

“Look!” cried one of the warriors who accompanied me, drawing all eyes to the direction in which he pointed. “They think to elude us, and have even taken some of the wenches!”

Indeed had the Sigurri spoken true. A distance from us in the darkness, only just discernible as shadows among the tents, a knot of males hastened away in the hopes of losing themselves and the burdens they carried, clearly intending flight with that which they had come for. The Sigurri immediately took to their heels in pursuit, full gladness upon them, undoubtedly thinking I followed in all haste. In other circumstances I would indeed have followed, yet was there another task first set to my hand. I turned with the torch I carried, went to the first of the tents, then began my search.

Uncounted numbers of empty and only-Midanna-filled tents were behind me, with all battle sounds a good distance off, when I emerged from between tents toward those I had not yet investigated, to find an unexpected sight. More than a hand of gray-clad males, one holding a torch, attempted to corner a single male in colorless clan covering so that they might end him. Swords were tight in the fists of the gray ones the while their prey was weaponless, yet were there three gray-clad bodies upon the ground, mute testimony to the skill of him they wished to end. Wide leather was wrapped tight about the wrists of the broad, dark male, no more than a scratch or two marking his body, and desperate was the silence of those who surrounded him, the points of their swords weaving about in search of an opening to his vitals—

So large a number should surely have been able to best a solitary one, yet had Chaldrin taught them great respect for his skill.

I thrust the butt of the torch I carried into the earth, then moved forward quickly toward the knot of those who sought to take the life of my brother. None had yet seen me, therefore did I raise my voice in the Hosta war cry as I neared, causing them to whirl about to face my attack. The paling of their visages was clear even in the light of the single torch, and then I was upon them, slashing all about with the strength of my anger. My edge took two in quick succession, drawing forth shrieks of mortal agony, and then did I beat aside the blade of a third and bury my sword in his belly, finishing him with a gurgling of quickly ended terror. No more than a moment did it take for me to wrench my blade free of the flesh it was buried in, yet that single moment saw many things occur. One of the remaining gray-clad male turned tail and ran, for Chaldrin had used the distraction of my attack to bend and arm himself from one of those who lay at his feet, preparing himself to join my attack. Two more hastily attempted to halt the Sigurri, and he who held the torch came swiftly nearer, a doing I had scarcely expected. More often did these gray-clad ones flee than close, and as I hastened my effort to free my sword from the stubbornly grasping flesh in which it was buried, the free arm of the torch male rose high and then came swiftly down, a shattering sound following the motion. At my feet lay the shards of some missile thrown by the male, and even as I looked upon them, all else faded from sight.

“Are you able to make the effort to awaken, girl?” came a soft voice, reaching to me in the nothingness in which I lay wrapped. “No more than a small part of the vapor reached you, therefore should you by now be able to throw off its effects. Here, the taste of this may aid you.”

A finger was thrust in my mouth, the liquid it was covered with reaching my tongue, the taste of cooled, brewed daru immediately bringing feeble movement to my inert blood. I stirred, became aware of the lenga pelt I lay upon and the near-leadenness of my limbs, and then were my head and shoulders raised and a skin put to my lips. I drank from the skin of daru, swallowing carefully, and only then was I able to open my eyes. In the dim glow of a not-distant fire was I able to see Chaldrin, his arm about my shoulders, his hand holding the skin of daru. I took a final swallow then drew my head back, and Chaldrin lowered me once more to the pelt.

“It will be another moment or two before full life returns to you, girl,” said he, one big hand smoothing the stray hair from my face. “I will, however, give you thanks now for having returned my life to me. It would soon have occurred to those sons of foulness to come at me together, rather than urging one or two of their number ahead of the pack. Had you not taken their eyes from me for sufficiently long so that I might take up a weapon, I would not have been able to finish the last of them after you fell. Should one pause to think upon it, the wisdom of the vow I gave to accompany you will prove itself quite evident. Had I not given that vow, you would not have been about to aid me in my time of need.”

Chaldrin’s familiar chuckle sounded as I attempted to speak, yet had the last of the vapors not released me to a sufficiency for such a thing. I moved about upon the lenga pelt, striving to drive off the slowly receding lethargy, and Chaldrin recapped the skin he held, then put it aside.

“By cause of the debt I owe you, wench, I shall now take my leave,” said he, looking down upon me soberly from where he crouched beside me. “I have no doubt that this will prove for the best, therefore do I go with a gladness within me that has for some time been lacking. Your happiness is mine, sister, and for too long has such a state eluded us both. This forced slowing is my gift to you; see that you take full advantage of it.”

His hand came to my hair for a final time, the touch very gentle, and then he rose out of his crouch and turned away. It came to me then that I lay in a dwelling of some sort, for Chaldrin crossed to the door and departed by it, pulling it firmly to behind him. I had no understanding of what then occurred, yet did I know that I had no wish to remain where I had been left, in a place so very much enclosed. I struggled with greater strength, twisting my hair all about beneath me, then forced myself to sitting upon the pelt.

“Go slowly, wench,” came another voice, a deep voice I knew all too well, a voice which was clearly within the dwelling with me. “The vapors will release their hold upon you more easily with gentle first movements. You may accept my word that I know whereof I speak.”

The whirling brought to my vision cleared slowly as I sat unmoving upon the pelt, both arms locked tight and palms to the fur. Had I not sat that way I would surely have fallen, yet the clearing of my gaze did naught to quiet the churning of my thoughts. Mehrayn sat in the dwelling in which Chaldrin had left me, his wide back against the wall opposite to where I lay, his knees drawn up and his forearms resting upon them. He gazed upon me across the space which separated us, past the hearth which stood to my left and his right, and foolishly it came to me that he no longer wore the colorless clan covering which he had undoubtedly been given. He sat clad in the black body cloth of Sigurri, yet no weapons girded his waist.

“I, too, had a taste of those vapors,” said he, frowning. “The jars were thrown into the tent Chaldrin and I were giving service in, catching the wenches completely unawares. Though startled, he and I were able to hold our breath till we reached the tent flap and threw it wide, yet was I mistaken in believing that I might then breathe freely. One breath and the darkness took me, leaving Chaldrin to defend both of us alone. When I awoke he told me he had felt no difficulty of any sort, which brings me to believe that his kalod in the Caverns, constantly surrounded by traces of the vapor, have given him a good deal of immunity to attack of that sort. He might well have left me to my fate, escaping easily from those who had no true wish to face him, yet his honor forbade that. Truly and endlessly honorable is the man I gladly call brother.”

The male he spoke of I called brother, too, although I doubted his honor. Had the male not left me there, with another male I had no wish to be with? Had he not used the difficulty which had come to me during battle on his behalf to bring me to a place I would not have come while fully conscious? No, such things were not the doings of one who was endlessly honorable, and most certainly would there be words between the male and myself over the thing when once we faced one another again. I took my palms from the lenga fur and discovered that the strength was rapidly returning to my body, therefore did I go to my knees, then forced myself erect. I was still dizzy, but less so, and quickly did it pass into nothingness. With this in view I began to move toward the door Chaldrin had used, in the process making another discovery. The sword and dagger I had been given were gone, leaving naught upon me save my breech and leg bands. Had I not doubted Chaldrin earlier, I would surely have done so then.

“You need not waste the effort, wench,” came the voice of Mehrayn, following me to the door while the male himself remained unmoving. “It may not be opened save from without, a doing Chaldrin will see to with the new light. This abandoned farmstead has been closed tight with wood, perhaps against the return of the former occupants. There are matters to be discussed between us, and I will see them discussed without interruption.”

My hand upon the door latch proved the truth of the male’s words, for pull as I might, I could not make it move. And there was clearly no other means of departing from the dwelling. Wood did indeed cover both of the windows, and naught was there to batter at it with save the dust upon the floors. None would return to that place, I knew, for those warned off by Midanna returned at peril of their lives. The anger I felt grew greater still, therefore did I retrace my steps to the window which was not far from where I had lain. Perhaps a loosened corner might be found, through which I would find it possible to.

“I am more than aware of the fact that you have not yet acknowledged my existence, wench,” said Mehrayn, a growing trace of annoyance in his tone. “Best would be that you do so quickly, for what patience I had has long since been spent. We are here to exchange words and reach an understanding; attempting to hold to a childish silence will avail you naught.”

I tossed my head to rid myself of the strands of hair which attempted to circle my arms, finding the dim cool of the dwelling less pleasant with each passing hand of reckid. My task among the enemy clans had not yet been completed, yet had such a consideration failed to keep the males from doing as they wished. I turned from the window and made again for the door, thinking there might perhaps be a board loose there which the males had overlooked, yet was I halted perhaps three paces from my goal.

“Enough of this!” snapped Mehrayn, his big hand on my arm pulling me about to face. his now evident anger. I had not heard him rising from his place at the wall, yet was it equally true that I cared not what he did. “You will not leave this place till you have gained my permission,” he growled. “Therefore need you waste no further time upon fruitless search! Come and sit with me, for there are many things we ....”

With cold anger I used the knowledge given me by Chaldrin to pull my arm from his grip with a single thrust. Startlement flared briefly in his green eyes and then did the anger return. His hand came again to seize me, much as I had thought it would, yet when I attempted to block the seizing arm and deliver a kick as I had been taught to do, naught else occurred as expected. In some manner was my block avoided and my kick itself blocked, and then was I whirled about, both of my wrists taken, and my back up against the front of the male with his arms wrapped tightly about me. In fury I struggled against being held so, attempting to strike backward with my head and also to kick backward, yet were these attempts avoided as easily as my first.

“Your lessons have not yet been of along enough duration, wench,” said Mehrayn, breathing somewhat heavily against my struggles. “Your ability continues to remain a bit short of the necessary point where my own abilities and greater strength would be negated, therefore may you consider that avenue of escape closed to you as well. Now we will have our discussion, with no further foolishness from you.”

With deep satisfaction did the male then force me toward the furs I had awakened upon, paying no mind to my struggles and snarls. Indeed my lessons had been too few to allow me to fare well against one with equal knowledge but greater strength, yet had I had to make the attempt. Had I been able to reach the male with but one well-placed kick the matter would have ended differently, however the kick had not been delivered therefore was I delivered instead, to the fur and down upon it. Once there I was not released, rather did Mehrayn lie behind me, continuing to hold me with strength, facing toward the wall. Upon our left sides did we lay, his body close against mine.

“Too long has it been since I have held you to me, wench,” he murmured, his lips close to my hair. “Well do you deserve to he beaten for keeping us apart so long, yet am I unable to consider such a thing the while my arms are about you. Also am I forced to admit that the fault was not entirely yours.”

I made no answer to the words the male spoke, nor was I touched by them. Jalav had no need of males, most especially not one of the sort who held her.

“Do you hear me, wench?” Mehrayn pursued, shaking me somewhat. “I shall not blindly lay the entire burden upon you for I am far from guiltless, and have unquestionably given you a good deal of provocation. My actions were thoughtless and cruel, and now I can only ask your forgiveness. It is this which I desire above all other things, this which I have brought you here for. Will you forgive me?”

I could not keep the sound of scorn from escaping my throat, so outrageously mindless was the foolishness Mehrayn spouted. Had the male no understanding of any sort? Did he think me as mindless as he? I moved in annoyance against the arms which held me, turning my wrists in his hands, feeling the hesitation which touched the body pressed to mine.

“I—am unsure of the manner in which to interpret your response,” said he after a moment, his tone now cautious. “Are you perhaps attempting to indicate that your forgiveness is already mine?”

“Ah, Mida, now do I truly begin to doubt your wisdom,” said I, filled with an exasperation which was to a great extent disbelieving. “Although you likely desire no more than the use of his body, surely you would prefer a male with some vestige of intelligence? Would not the presence of one such as he be a greater embarrassment than any pleasure he might give?”

“By the gods!” exclaimed the male in outrage, no longer attempting the coaxing tone he had previously used. “What have I said to you, wench, of the manner in which I am to be spoken of to the high ones? And for what reason do you speak such words? Surely you cannot continue to believe that the goddess has claimed me?”

“None with eyes and a mind might believe otherwise,” I returned with cold abruptness. “Release me immediately, male for there continues to be tasks I must see to for her whom we both serve.”

“Now do I believe I begin to see,” said the fool of a male quite slowly, and then did he begin to move me about, so that I was turned to face him with my wrists held behind me, his leg over mine so that I might not kick. No more than one of his ridiculously large hands was required to hold my wrists, therefore was the other free to ease the twistings of my hair where I lay beside him, his fire-lit face taking no note of my increasing anger.

“I see now that my brother was both correct and incorrect,” said he when I was settled to his satisfaction, his gaze now fully upon me. “It was Chaldrin’s belief that your coldness and refusal to heed me was rooted in jealousy, as was that—punishment you had me given. As I had foolishly sought to hurt you with my doings with Dotil as you had hurt me with your rejection, Chaldrin felt it would be best if I were to apologize for my ‘cruelty’ and allow you to forgive me. Now is it clear that I asked for forgiveness upon the wrong point—and that the root of your jealousy lies elsewhere.”

“Perhaps it will some fey be possible for males to understand that their lacks may not be found in Midanna,” said I, the scorn having once again grown heavy in my voice. “Midanna do not covet the possessions of others, for they are possessed of the skill to take that which they wish. Should Mida smile upon them, their efforts will meet with success; should her smile be withheld, they will find her Blessed Realm or perhaps the final dark. No other than a male would stand about shivering in fear and with desire for that which he has been forbidden by another to touch.”

“I believe I have spoken before upon the foolishness of arrogance when one is in the power of another,” said Mehrayn, annoyance attempting to alter the evenness of his tone just as insult hardened his gaze. “Much does it seem that you speak so to a purpose, the purpose perhaps being that the pain normally given you for such words is needed to feed the hatred you require to survive in captivity. The captivity I mean to keep you in is unlike any you have ever experienced, wench, unlike any you are able to imagine. It will contain laughter rather than pain, joy rather than despair, pleasure rather than agony. It will be shaped to cause you to yearn for it rather than freedom, and will call you back to it no matter how far away matters of responsibility send you. It is without doubt a true captivity, yet will you come to desire it as strongly as I already do.”

He then lowered his lips to briefly touch my unresisting ones, the sobriety he showed deliberately seeing naught of the bewilderment he had bred in me. In Mida’s name, the soft words he had spoken had brought me a greater sense of dread than any pain he might have given, greater fear than any I had felt since my time before the male god Sigurr! How certain the male seemed that it would be possible to bring me to such a captivity! How was one to escape from such a thing?

“That, however, is a matter to discuss at another time,” he continued, smiling faintly at the wide-eyed manner in which I now watched him. It was not possible to truly understand the doings of one who served Mida, nor might one know with certainty what their next actions might be. “The topic currently under discussion is dual in nature,” said he, “touching as it does your contention that I have been chosen to serve your goddess, and my contention that jealousy sends its snarling vapors to fill you with cold savagery. The two points are in reality one, and this is what I mean to show you.”

Again his hand came to smooth my hair, the faint smile still upon him, and then did his hand go to my arm and side, stroking with great gentleness. My muscles flared instantly in an attempt to break his grip upon my wrists and push him from me, yet despite the gentleness of his caress, his grip had not loosened.

“How smooth and warm your skin is, wench,” he murmured, as though unaware of my attempt to break free. “It gives me endless pleasure to touch you so, and ever shall it be the same. The same pleasure was yours with me, till I asked a boon of your goddess and was granted it. Who is it you thought to challenge for the possession of a—male?”

I gave no answer to the abrupt, disturbing question, more concerned with wishing away awareness of his warm hand upon my flesh, yet he nodded as though I had spoken.

“No Midanna need feel jealousy over that which she might take with the skill of her swordarm,” said he, “yet how is a wench to pit her skill against the will of a goddess? That which your lady takes for her own is denied to those who follow her, no matter how greatly that thing is desired by them. So strongly did you feel upon the matter that you considered the unthinkable, the challenging of a god, for I had been put beyond your reach and you could not bear the thought. Indeed did it seem that I had contributed to the disaster by bringing myself to the attention of the goddess and then refusing to take myself from the area of her attention. Despite your upset you knew well enough that it was impossible to challenge the gods, therefore did you withdraw all indications of interest in me, in accordance with the will of your goddess. However, the deep, burning jealousy you felt remained, as well as the conviction that I had given myself willingly to another, one you might not face in challenge. For this reason was I given so painful and humiliating a punishment, for having spurned you and chosen another.”

I closed my eyes against his sober green gaze, unable to speak, unable to halt the ache which rose to fill every part of me. I knew not the reason why males ever brought such pain to a warrior, pain beyond that which their chains and leather and lashes brought. Far easier to bear was the touch of lash, and again I knew not why it was so, only that it was.

“Jalav, my beloved, are you unable to see that this is not so?” he cried, suddenly releasing me so that he might hold me to him with all the strength in his arms. “Never would I choose another before you, sooner would I see my soul irretrievably lost! Though you have come to expect no other thing than pain from men, I would give you the brief pain of death before I would give you the agony of turning from you when you would face the gods for me! And never, never, never would I find it possible to give you death! I have not spurned you—nor has your lady denied me to you.”

In some manner had my arms circled him as his circled me, yet did I continue unable to speak. So deeply had the male touched me that I no longer knew right from wrong, true from false, honorable from dishonorable; no more was I aware of than my great need for him, my endless desire for him. The will of a male mattered little to a Midanna, yet to know that he felt for me what I felt for him! The withdrawal of a blade from one’s flesh brings less easing!

“You have as yet made no comment upon my next contention, wench,” said he, one hand gently astroke upon my back. “As you now believe I have not turned from you, so must you believe that your lady has not denied me to you.”

I shook my head against the chest I held to, knowing that this, at least, could not be. Mida might well require my skill and health to see her will done, yet was her continuing anger with me clear. Denial was to be my lot for so long as she willed it, likely to the end of my feyd.

“Ah, Sigurr, it is my unfortunate fate to be enmeshed to my soul with a woman who will not listen,” said Mehrayn with a sigh, his words more respectful than his tone. “Your time of late has been more than well-filled, wench, therefore do I bid you to pause now for a time of consideration. Well might it be that I was kept from you before your approach to those other wenches, yet I fail to see how this might be looked upon as absolute, unending denial for all time. Rather than agreeing that I was chosen by your lady for her own, I contend that was merely kept from distracting you from your task, a thing I could not keep myself from attempting. The goddess, in her wisdom, knew I moved as I did only through being unable to halt myself, therefore was I given aid rather than censure. The thought was given to you that I had been chosen to serve the goddess you, yourself, serve, and so were my helpless efforts halted by your refusal to heed them. Though it was not my determined intention to stand myself in your path, I found myself helpless to do other than that very thing. The manner in which I was brushed aside was gentle indeed, and devoutly do I thank your lady for having shown such compassion. I am led to believe that she has found a small fondness for me within her, likely by cause of my having acknowledged her in the manner I did. Although your task continues in some part unfinished, I have been allowed to bring you here and speak to you in this way, a thing which could not have been done without her let. Are you still able to deny her continuing love for you—and her clear permission for the joining of our hearts?”

The question he spoke fell silently into the maelstrom of my thoughts, whirling around and away to that land of confusion which was my usual dwelling place. Surely had I thought that Mida was displeased with me, at times that she meant me ill, yet the words that Mehrayn had spoken now gave me pause. Well might it be that he had the right of it, that he was correct and I in error, that my certainty at the time was no more than temporarily necessary so that my task might be properly seen to. Again I shook my head against the male who held me, yet this time from another cause.

“I have suddenly been denied the ability to think in any manner resembling clarity,” I protested, raising my head to look upon the broad face of him. “How am I to know the truth or falsity of these things, to judge their merits or defects? How am I to be aware of what I do, when my thoughts are filled with naught save the male beneath my hands and the body he presses against mine?”

“These are the sole things you are meant to be aware of,” said Mehrayn with a soft laugh, taking my face in both of his great hands. “It was for this reason that I was taken from your side, so that you might be undistracted in your dealings with those who were once your enemies. For this darkness you need think of no other thing, for you have been given the permission of your lady to do so. I am yours alone, Jalav, just as you are mine, and best would be that you accustom yourself to this truth. You have held me in capture for too long a time without giving me a similar capture, and I will no longer allow it.”

His lips came to mine then, the touch no longer gentle nor brief, and truly was it capture which he brought me to. Never before had I felt such a thing, no desire approaching it save the one I had known when Ceralt had first attempted to make me his. Had I not even then ridden in the name of Mida, hers to do with as she willed, surely would I have been taken in a similar capture by the dark-haired High Rider of those who were called Belsayah. Surely was there unexplained magic within these two males, the red-haired and the dark, magic which ensnared a warrior and turned her helpless in their arms. The lips of Mehrayn burned fiercely against mine, effortlessly turning me helpless, and nearly was I unaware of the fact when he put me to my back and crouched above me. His hands took my breech and threw it from me, and then was his body cloth gone as well, naught remaining to bar our desires one from the other. He thrust deep as I welcomed him with joy, and then were all further considerations as one with the darkness.