This is who I am

Chapter Eighteen

Standing in his bedroom, Sam smothered a grin. Linda was seated in the center of his king-size bed. Naked. As she’d tried to remove her skintight latex shirt, he’d discovered she knew a fair number of interesting curses.

When she looked up at him, her big brown eyes held more than a hint of anxiety. But although some of the alcohol had worn off, she still wasn’t completely sober, and he didn’t beat on drunken masochists. He needed her either capable of using her safe word or for her body language to not be muddled.

Didn’t mean he wouldn’t have a good time though. He’d spent part of the afternoon adding chains to the frame of his bed. Rope would have been easier, but nothing beat the clinking of chains when a submissive yanked on them. Yeah.

“We’re going to play now?” She looked up at him. “You don’t mind that I’m on the drunken side?”

“Nope.” He liked seeing her like this, relaxed. A little giggly. No haunting worries visible in those eyes—none but what he put there. He winked at her. “I intend to enjoy the hell out of it.”

He buckled her into leather wrist and ankle cuffs. Maybe he’d leave them on. Nice easy access in the morning.

After shoving a thick foam wedge under her ass, he chained her arms to the upper posts, leaving her legs free.

“Sam.” She took a gulping breath as she tested the restraints.

“Chains and bedposts. Just call me old-fashioned.” He curved his hand under her jaw and kissed her, not viciously but rougher than normal. Giving her a hint at what would be coming.

The way her breathing sped up was damned appealing.

He put a tweezers clamp on her left nipple, tightening until she whined, then backing off quite a bit since her sensitivity might be impaired. After doing the left, he stopped to kiss her and remind her who he was. Being intoxicated could let old fears surface. She needed to see him, hear him.

“Are you going to hurt me?” she whispered, her expression half-worried, half-eager.

“Not much.” Mostly when the clamps came off. But she wouldn’t be thinking about pain by then. He picked up his handmade cunt-spreader setup. “Spread your legs, girl.”

Her eyes widened at the clamps dangling from the two Velcro straps. “What are those?”

Under his stare, she slowly moved her legs apart.

When he dropped the straps next to her hip, she caught on to where he intended to put those clamps.

He smothered a grin when she started to bring her legs together to cover her vulnerable pussy bits.

“No,” he growled.

She stopped, legs still apart. When he traced a finger over her inner thigh, she shivered. Damn, but she had delicate skin. Soft. So white he knew the sun’s rays had never touched it.

For his own enjoyment, he teased her for a while until she was pleasingly wet and squirming. Then he wrapped a wide strap around each upper thigh as high as he could get. Out of her sight, he plugged in his favorite toy and set it conveniently at hand on the floor.

“Let’s see what you got tonight.” He picked up the brown paper bag she’d forgotten in the truck.

Her face turned a satisfying red, then outraged. “Leave that bag alone!”

“Nope.” Once he had a look at what she’d bought, he’d know what to do about her legs. He pulled out a tiny bottle. Orange-flavored lubricant? He snorted, remembering Gabi’s surprise when she’d given him a blowjob and discovered he’d used an orange-flavored condom.

After tossing it onto the bed, he found the next toy. A long, thin vibrator that curved upward to a flat, ribbed tip. He studied it a minute, then realized the shape was designed to reach the G-spot. Perfect. He gave her an amused look. “You were busy at that party, weren’t you?”

She was so fair-skinned that her blush reached a bright red. “Those are my toys. Not yours.”

“I don’t intend to use them on me, missy.”

The last thing in the bag was… He grinned. No wonder she’d worried.

Her eyes widened when he held it up. “You wouldn’t.”

The anal plug was also a vibrator. Even had batteries already installed. “It’s bigger than I’d have chosen for you.”

Her voice came out nicely higher than normal. “I didn’t choose it. It was a prize. And it’s huge.”

“It’ll fit…with a little work.”

The chains clanked as she yanked on them. Trying not to laugh, he figured out the scenario and what to do with her legs. Hell, this was going to be fun.

HE WOULDN’T REALLY stick that thing up her butt, would he? Linda pulled on the restraints, wanting to put her hands over her vulnerable asshole.

The clamps on her breasts were throbbing with a growing heat. But…what about those straps around her thighs? Did he really intend to use those horrible-looking clamps on her pussy? She saw him squirt lube on the anal plug, and her voice came out sounding strangled. “Sam.”

To her surprise, he set it down.

She let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to—

He picked up a chain fastened to the headboard, then lifted her left leg. A snick connected her ankle cuff and the chain. Her leg was raised, pointing toward her head. Elevated by the wedge pillow, her bottom now tilted upward. “What are you doing?”

“Now, missy, you know the answer to that.” The cool calculation in his eyes made her quake. She was still fuzzy-minded from the alcohol; he definitely was not. He bent her right knee and chained that ankle to the side of the bed, then squeezed her thigh. Just the strength in his powerful hand sent a tremor through her. “Don’t want you to kick at me when I do this.”

This? When she saw him pick up the anal plug, she realized he’d positioned her legs so he could easily reach her asshole. “You bastard. I don’t want any anal stuff.”

“Safe word is red, girl.” His eyes narrowed. “You call me any more names, and I’ll gag you.”

She choked the next curse back, almost strangling herself, and it was a good thing that he’d chained her other leg, since she’d have definitely kicked him.

He studied her, waiting to see if she’d safe word. Then one corner of his mouth tipped up.

Safe word, you fool. But her apprehension was balanced by anticipation; she wanted everything he’d do to her. Wanted his hands on her. Didn’t want anything to stop. But that plug… Her inner voice was whining up a storm and got louder when she felt him push the plug against her anus.

Every muscle on her backside tightened in denial.

His icy eyes met hers. “I have bigger plugs. If I have to work hard to put one in, I might as well use one that will make you yell.” His palm hit her bottom with a resounding slap.

Like fireworks, the stinging sparkled into beauty. The buzzing alcohol in her veins made it even better. A sigh escaped as the feeling faded.

“Relax and push out, or I’ll see how big of a plug you can take.” His expression was…amused. He enjoyed making her anxious. He’d like making her yell. A quiver ran through her that held more need than fear. Gritting her teeth, she complied.

“That a girl.” His gravelly laugh raised goose bumps on her arms. He started to work the plug in, pushing, easing out, pushing.

It felt so depraved, so sinfully carnal, having him see her, touch her in such a private place. And as he played with her, his deep, focused gaze wandered from her face and down her body to where his hand pushed the plug against her anus.

Her nipples tried to peak, making the clamps pinch harder. Her voice came out shaky. “Please. Just…just put it in.”

“Safer for you if I go slow and stretch you out.” His eyes gleamed. “Besides, I like drawing it out.”

Her attempt to kick him earned her a swat on her ass.

The burn expanded into a sharp pleasure, quickening her breathing.

He continued. Each advance of the plug stretched and burned, reaching a disconcerting, erotic tightness. Then it plopped into place.

She closed her eyes and squirmed, feeling as if it were pushing all the way to her tonsils. Too full, too much.

“Look at me, girl.”

Her eyes met his merciless ones. “I’m going to fuck you while that’s in your ass.”

Oh God. He was so big. With the plug… Terror and lust made her shiver.

A crease appeared in his cheek, but the way he brushed his knuckles over her cheek was heart-stoppingly tender.

After he unrestrained the leg chained to the headboard, he clipped it to a chain on the edge of the bed. When he finished, her arms were still restrained over her head, her knees were raised, and her ankles pulled toward the sides of the mattress. The high wedge tilted her crotch embarrassingly high in the air…and rubbed on the plug. She tried to lift up. Didn’t work.

He settled between her knees. “Been looking forward to tasting you all night.”

Her face flushed even as her bones went limp.

He bent forward and ran his tongue over her pussy before his lips closed around her clit. She’d already been aroused from everything he’d done, and she gasped as an inferno lit inside her. His tongue flickered over the top of her clit. Then he sucked, licked, sucked. Her insides coiled, and as she clenched, the plug set off odd sensations, sending her higher. The pressure built and suddenly, without warning, she came.

So quick. As she recovered her breath, she frowned. All that work for a fast orgasm?

Expecting him to let her loose, she realized he was adjusting the Velcro strap on her right thigh. He picked up one of the clamps that dangled from thick twine. Oh, heck, she’d forgotten that thing. Her legs involuntarily tried to close and got nowhere.

Something bit like teeth on her right labia and kept biting. “Ow!”

He’d put the clamp on her down there. Another clamp went on next to the first. Her back arched as the stinging expanded, billowing upward through her body, changing into liquid heat.

One more. And then he started on the left labia.

Her entire pussy was a river of pain, filled with an unstoppable current of pleasure, taking her out of herself. Leaving her adrift like a paddleless canoe.

Leaving her in Sam’s control. As her eyes met his, she let go and let herself be swept away.

After a minute—hours, years—she felt a tugging down there. She lifted her head.

He was tightening the thick twine between the clamps and the thigh straps, pulling her labia open to expose her entrance and clit. A cool wash of air brushed over normally hidden places and contrasted with the burn of the clamps circling them.

“Like those, do you?” He was studying her reactions, his gaze moving again from her face to her breasts, her hands, her body. His eyes were the same blue as in the hottest part of a flame. “Say my name, Linda.”

“Sam.” Her voice was breathless but clear enough to gain a smile.

“Good girl.”

How could she need his approval so much? Want it and work for it? But she did.

He slid the small dildo-vibrator inside her vagina, angling it, and set it to a low hum. The vibrations didn’t feel like anything special…until he leaned down and licked over her clit.

Oh mercy. With the touch of his tongue, the nub felt as if it were being teased from two sides. As it swelled, she felt as if its size was doubling or even tripling.

Sam tormented her clit, circling up and over, forcing Linda back into arousal as if she’d never come a few minutes before. Her body’s attempt to move, to tighten, pulled on the labia clamps. The burst of pain soared right into sheer bliss with not a second between.

As she shuddered, her hips strained to lift to his mouth. The sensations came too fast to process, shoving her up and up until her body contracted like a fist as the fireworks of an orgasm shot upward, then sparkled through every cell inside her. So magnificent.

As she floated down to earth, she felt the bed under her, the aching in her nipples and labia. She opened her eyes. “Heavens, that was…” She frowned at the laughter in his eyes as he turned off the vibrator. “What are you planning?”

“Just more of the same, missy. Nothing special.”

More? She’d come twice in only a few minutes, and her heart still hammered. “I don’t think so.”

He leaned forward between her knees to lick her breasts and nibble on the compressed peaks before pushing her breasts together.

As the teeth of the clamps dug into her areolae, she groaned. He continued.

By the time he finished, a freeway of electricity sizzled up and down between her pussy and her breasts, and heat wafted upward from her skin as if her blood was boiling inside her veins.

He sat back on his heels, studied her for a second, and grinned. “Ready for another round?”

She was. How could she want more?

Nodding as if she’d answered, he flipped the G-spot vibrator to a setting that created a roller coaster, up and down, of vibrations.

When his mouth closed on her clit, she jumped. Too much, too sensitive.

Ignoring her squirming attempts to evade his tongue, he mercilessly worked her up, rubbing the sides. Toying with her.

The restraints held her limbs still, the wedge tilted her up. Clamps on her pussy held her so open. Every step he’d taken had left her more exposed, positioned right where he could force her to come for his own enjoyment. The bone-deep knowledge that he was playing with her, doing just as he wanted, sent her arousal spiraling out of control. “Sam,” she whispered.

He lifted his head, meeting her gaze, the demand in his expression perfectly clear. Give me everything.

The breath she pulled in shuddered through her, feeling as if it cracked something deep inside her.

His diamond-blue gaze warmed. Leaning down, he took her clit between his lips and sucked on the tip as hard as he did on her breasts.

“Aaaaaah!” Her back arched, held, held, as the orgasm blasted through her without finesse, without mercy. Her arms tugged on the chains. Then she went limp. A fine sweat covered her body, chilling her as it cooled.

Sitting back, he flicked the vibrator off. His hands were warm as he stroked her hips. “Pretty Linda.” His gaze ran over her as he smiled.

Her pulse was roaring in her head, and each heaving breath pulled on the clamps. The alcohol was definitely gone.

He pulled his shirt off. Such broad shoulders. A muscular chest with a six-pack that a twenty-year-old would envy. All man. And with an erection that bulged his jeans. Why wasn’t he inside her? Satisfying his own need.

She swallowed against a dry throat. “Can I… Will you let me please you?” Everything in her wanted to give him the same joy he gave her. Making him happy satisfied her in ways she’d never be able to describe. “It’s your turn, honey. I’ve had enough.” Trying to entice him, she licked her lips.

“Not yet.” His eyes held hers. “I’ll tell you when you’ve come enough.” He played with the vibrator settings, choosing one with a continuous heavy buzz.

She could feel it, enjoy it, but her body was finished and not reacting. “I’m pretty sure that’s it for me, Sam. Let me—”

“Pretty sure it’s not.” He lifted a…thing…from the floor. A giant vibrator with a mushroom head the size of a girl’s fist.

After turning it on, he pressed the head lightly between the labia clamps and against her exposed clit.

“Sam!” The vibrations were so intense her clit felt zapped by jolts of electricity.

As he rolled it back and forth, everything in her clenched and, like a flash fire, exploded into a brutal orgasm. Her scream echoed off the walls.

He turned everything off.

She felt as if her body was sinking into the mattress. Perspiration had wet the hair at her temples and behind her neck. “I’m done. Really.”

“Nope.”

He did it again. She came.

And again. She came. Oh God. She groaned as she roused from the last orgasm. How could something feel so good that her whole body ached? Her voice came out a moan. “Can’t. No m-more left.”

His eyes held an evil satisfaction as he studied her trembling body. “I think there is.”

She tried to move, to escape, and couldn’t. The restraints held her open to anything he wanted to do, whether getting her off or hurting her. The knowledge set up a separate pulse of desire, a low chant saying, Use me, take me, do what you will.

Damn, damn sadist…and Dom. His hard lips curved as he watched her futile attempts, head tilted as if he could hear the yielding voice inside her. Yes, he’d make her take until he decided to stop.

Why did knowing that set her insides fluttering with more than anxiety? The part of her that was still thinking protested, “Sam, really.”

He reached between her legs, and the anal plug sprang to life with wicked vibrations. Every nerve between her butt cheeks blasted awake, an entirely new region of sensation. Her thigh muscles trembled as her need for more, for something, grew to unbearable.

When he pressed the vibrator to her clit, it ignited an explosion that ripped her right from the world as she came in long, almost painful rolls of pleasure.

After a while, she could hear herself sucking in air. She blinked and tried to focus. Sweat had drenched her body, trickling under her breasts and arms. “Please. No more.”

“Safe word?” he reminded her.

A shiver ran through her. She wanted…wanted whatever he did.

A crease appeared in his cheek as he set the vibrator on the bed and switched off the anal plug. “Think I’m ready to fuck you now, girl.”

An uncontrollable tremor rolled through her body. When his eyes gleamed, her insides quivered even more. “No,” she whispered, just to hear herself protest…and to watch him ignore it.

Smoothly, he slid the G-spot vibrator out of her and set it to one side. When he opened his jeans, she swallowed. His cock was far bigger than the thin vibrator, and he hadn’t removed the anal plug. He pressed the tip of his shaft against her entrance. With the labia clamps on, nothing blocked his way. Balanced on one arm, he worked in with incremental thrusts.

Everything felt too, too tight. Her body was stretched out, her arms chained. She couldn’t move, no matter what he did, and she felt her excitement increase at the knowledge. “You don’t fit.”

His smile was…sadistic. “You’ll take me to the hilt, missy. Even if it hurts.” He gave her a level, implacable gaze that shot lust straight to her core. “Especially if it hurts.”

As he stared down into her eyes, openly savoring her discomfort, currents of excitement sizzled through her.

Slowly, inevitably, he impaled her, continuing until his groin rubbed against the labia clamps. The glorious heat from the pinching soon engulfed the throbbing at her entrance.

He reached under her to start the anal plug again. With him filling her so completely, the vibrations shook through her whole lower half, and she gasped at the overwhelming sensations pulsing through her.

“Damned tight.” He kissed her, driving his tongue into her mouth as ferociously as he started pounding his cock into her body.

He thrust in and out, filling her pussy, emptying her. The multitude of input—vibrators, clamps, his mouth, his cock—rang through her like a tolling bell, confusing her, driving her up again.

Every slick slide of his cock preceded the feeling of being filled to discomfort. His weight was heavy on her hips. She breathed in the clean outdoors scent of him as he kissed her deeply, making her feel thoroughly possessed. Restrained, pressed down, filled everywhere. The shivery knowledge was like bubbles racing through her.

She felt his body start to tighten. Oh yes. She loved feeling him come, seeing the satisfaction on his face. Nothing compared to making this man happy.

“One more,” he said.

“What?”

Without answering, he lifted up slightly and removed her left breast clamp. After a second of almost relief, the agony of blood rushing into the abused flesh made her arch and suck in air. Insidious pleasure wove tendrils between the pain until she wasn’t sure what she felt. Her insides clenched down against his thickness, against the vibrations of the anal plug, and she shot into arousal and need as if a rocket had gone off.

“There’s a good girl.” He stared into her eyes as he slid his cock out, and then he removed the other clamp.

She felt every little prong pull away from her nipple. The shocking influx of blood turned to the most exquisite pulsing, and her body clenched again. The anal plug vibrated, but she was empty…

Laughing under his breath, he slammed his cock home. Her back tried to arch against his heavy weight as her entire body filled with searing, scalding pleasure, filled and overflowed, cascading into an unstoppable climax. Oh God. Wave after wave of sensation rushed through her until her hair and fingers zinged with the orgasm.

Heaven help me; I’m going to die just from a climax. She tried to glare at him, but even her eyelids felt limp. And he was still hard inside her, moving in and out slowly. The realization sent a shudder through her.

“Honey. Not coming?” Her words sounded slurred.

“I will.” His gravelly chuckle was soft against her ear. “When you get off again.”

Her body had died. For sure, this time. “Not happening.” Regret at disappointing him made her breath hitch. “I’m sorry.”

The creases at the corners of his eyes deepened, and the look he gave her tugged at her heart. “Don’t worry, girl.” He nipped her chin, then rubbed his chest against her oversensitive nipples, sending pain zinging down to her clit. Her insides tightened around him and the plug. Somehow, without dislodging himself, he sat back onto his knees, withdrawing until his cock was barely inside her.

Cool air wafted over her damp skin, and her nipples tightened again, increasing the burn. The delight.

He ran a finger over her sensitive clit, making her jump, and she clenched again. His smile showed his enjoyment at controlling her responses…and that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. “Oh, I think you’ve got another orgasm in there,” he said, and his laugh held a cruel, wonderful edge that took her breath away.

Her pulse felt like a throbbing in her lower half. He wouldn’t—he couldn’t make her come again. She’d die. She yanked on her arm restraints. “Not again. Please, I can’t take it again.”

“You can.”

Every sensitive bit on her body felt raw with sensation, like she was getting a continuous delicious whipping. “It’s too much,” she whispered.

His eyes lit. “Then this will top you off.” Still on his knees, he held her gaze as he reached down…and pulled off a labia clamp. She had only a moment to realize what he’d done before he slammed his cock in. Hard. Deep. Pain blasted through her as blood churned back into her labia. Then it all zipped into an unholy pleasure. Her pussy tightened around his slick cock, feeling so, so good.

He picked up the huge vibrator and touched her clit.

The vibrations blasted straight to her core, impacting the pulsations from the plug in her ass. She shuddered at the flood of sensations.

He pulled his shaft out and lifted the vibrator away.

She managed to pull in a breath.

Until he removed another labial clamp and rammed his thick cock in. The vibrator went back onto her clit.

Before, just before she could come, he pulled his cock back. The vibrator up.

She was panting.

The next clamp came off…and the cycle started again. Again and again and again.

She broke, exploding so hard that her hips bucked in protest, every muscle seized into rigidity. Like a volcano, heat erupted into sheer ecstasy, searing through every nerve.

He’d dropped forward onto one arm. His sandpaper laugh scraped in her ear as he pounded into her, deep and deeper, until his cock jerked, adding to the unending vibrations inside her. He came, long and long. As his fingers twined with hers, he kissed her with a rumbling groan of satisfaction that added to her own. She’d pleased him.

Ever so gradually, the waves inside her receded. The ringing in her ears faded. She was still panting, unsure if she’d ever achieve a normal breath again. Her heart felt like when Charles had learned to drum, hammering the house with erratic noise. When she managed to open her eyes, Sam was staring down at her, his face as gentle as she’d ever seen it.

After giving her a light kiss, he took a deep breath that rubbed his chest against her incredibly sensitive nipples and made her moan.

Slowly, he pulled out. When the anal vibrator switched off and was removed, her body could only twitch.

One by one, he unfastened the chains from her legs and arms. When he pulled her arms down, she groaned and gritted her teeth. Sore joints were not a good pain.

“Easy.” As his powerful hands massaged the ache from her shoulders, her body felt as if it was oozing down into the bed, drenched in satiation. Her emotions felt the same way. He was being so careful with her. Evil sadist had turned to lover.

“Hurt too much anywhere?” His fingers trailed over her body, his warm gaze checking for any damage. “Tell me, baby.”

“Uhh-uhhh. Fine.”

“Good.” With gentle, unwavering hands, he rolled her onto her side and curled behind her. His legs tangled with hers; his chest warmed her back. “Sleep, girl,” he growled in her ear.

When she’d been a child, an elderly neighbor’s dog had growled at her constantly. She’d been terrified until the owner explained the noise was Bruno’s way of talking. Light growls, low growls, chompy growls. Even happy growls. She’d discovered that the local bullies never appeared when Bruno walked her to school…growling the entire way.

He’d sounded just like Sam.