Unbeautifully

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

“It’s very rare that an injury this severe doesn’t result in some kind of permanent damage. And that’s something that can take months or even years to determine the full extent of.”

“Danny!” Ivy squealed, bouncing in the waiting room chair beside me, waving my cell phone around in the air. “I beat level thirteen!”

“Shh,” I whispered, trying to hear what the doctor was saying to Jase.

“Age is also a factor,” he continued. “Individuals in their teens and twenties have a tendency to recover more so than a woman in her thirties.”

“Great,” Jase growled. “But what the fuck about her memory? She doesn’t even know who the fuck I am!”

My father put his hand on Jase’s shoulder and on his other side, Eva slipped her arm through his. Jase shuddered through his next breath, before focusing back on the doctor.

“She’s very lucky to be alive, Mr. Brady. Ninety percent of people who suffer gunshot wounds to the brain die almost immediately. In Ms. Kelley’s case, the bullet traveled all the way through her brain but luckily did not pass through the brain stem. Right now, as far as we can tell, only her memory has been affected, whereas the majority of survivors of this type of injury not only suffer memory loss, but difficulty reading and problems with hand-eye coordination, some ending up in long-term rehabilitation or nursing care.”

Jase was already agitated by Tegen’s appearance at the hospital. She’d taken one look at Jase, marched right up to the nurses’ station, and very loudly stated that he was not family and under no circumstances was he allowed to see her mother.

And now the doctor was not telling him what he wanted to hear, worsening his mood.

I had to give that doctor credit for facing a room full of emotionally charged bikers and holding his own.

“You mentioned rehabilitation earlier,” Eva said, glancing worriedly up at Jase. “Is that something that could help with her memory?”

The doctor nodded. “But I don’t want to jump the gun. Her memory loss could be due to swelling from surgery. As she recovers, she might regain what she’s lost. We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Wait and see?” Jase repeated, shoving away from my father and Eva. “Wait and motherfuckin’ see?”

My father wrapped his arm around Jase’s chest and pulled him backward. Jase pushed away from him and spun around. “Fuck!” he yelled. “Fuck!”

Sighing, my father reached for him again. “Ja—”

“WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?”

My head jerked right. Now what?

The occupants of the waiting room went silent as everyone watched Hawk storm through the room. Still wearing his chaps, covered head-to-toe in road dust, his Mohawk significantly grown out, he must have been on the road awhile. He had probably had gone directly to the club, found out about Dorothy, and come straight to the hospital.

The moment Hawk zeroed in on Jase, his entire body tensed. The next thing I knew he was running, quickly closing the twenty feet between Jase and him, and everyone else was backing away.

“Call security!” the doctor shouted in the direction of the nurse’s station.

Hawk bent his head and barreled into Jase, sending them both flying backward into the elevator. Ivy shrieked, jumped into my lap, and buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and turned my body away from the fight.

“You fuck!” Hawk roared, sending his fist into Jase’s face. His nose broke on impact, an audible, resounding crack that had me cringing in sympathy. And he just kept going. With every punch Hawk threw, blood from Jase’s broken nose sprayed everything in a ten-foot radius.

Two security guards came rushing from around the corner at the same time my father and Mick were trying to pry Hawk off Jase, without much luck.

It took four men to drag Hawk away and even then, all four of them were struggling to keep a good hold on him.

One hand covering his broken nose, the other grasping for the wall, Jase struggled to stand up.

“What is wrong with you?” he yelled, his voice muffled by his hand.

“What’s wrong with me?” Hawk bellowed. “You almost got Dorothy killed. You almost got my fuckin’ kid killed! That’s what’s fuckin’ wrong with me!”

Jase’s hand fell away from his face. “What did you say?”

“Danny,” Eva said frantically, grabbing Ivy’s waist and pulling her off my lap. “Let me take her.”

Clutching Ivy, Eva headed quickly toward the front doors while Hawk managed to wrench an arm free long enough to elbow one of the security guards in the face. The man went stumbling backward and Hawk used the distraction to break free. My father lunged for him but ended up missing him by a mere thread.

Jase found himself pinned up against the elevator by his throat.

“Do the math, asshole,” Hawk hissed. “Nine fuckin’ months ago, where the fuck were you?”

I quickly counted the months backward in my head and my mouth fell open. That wasn’t Jase’s baby. Jase and Bucket had been on a run through Mexico for over a month, if not longer.

“No,” Jase whispered. “No, she wouldn’t—”

“No? Brother, yes. She’s been comin’ to me for years, cryin’ about you. And if you’re still havin’ doubts, I know for a fact you were usin’ protection with her, and me, I wasn’t even tryin’ to safeguard my shit. I blew my load inside her every fuckin’ time, know why? Because,” Hawk growled. “I was tryin’ to knock her up. Wanna know why? Because I was tryin’ to get her the fuck away from you!”

Spittle flew from Hawk’s mouth into Jase’s face as he continued laying into him. But Jase couldn’t care less. Dumbfounded, unable to speak, he could only stare unblinking at Hawk.

“Just one fuckin’ day,” my father muttered, grabbing my wrist, startling me as he uprooted me up off the chair. I hurried to keep up as he pulled me toward the hospital entrance.

“Just one motherfuckin’ day I would like to not be dealin’ with bullshit.”

He punched open the door and yanked me outside. Pausing, he scanned the parking lot. Finding Eva and Ivy sitting on the tailgate of his truck, he started toward them.

“Daddy,” I said, trying to shake free.

He ignored me.

“Daddy!” I yelled. “Stop!”

He stopped so fast, I crashed into him.

“What?” he demanded.

“I love you!” I shouted. “That’s all!”

He blinked. “What? Why you tellin’ me this shit?”

I gave him a small smile. “Because it’s true. And even though I’m a huge disappointment to you, I thought maybe with all the crap you’re dealing with, you needed to hear it.”

Blue eyes, identical to my own, surrounded by tiny lines etched finely into suntanned skin, stared back at me.

“You’re not a disappointment,” he said quietly. “I never said that.”

I shrugged halfheartedly. “I can read between the lines.”

“Jesus, Danny, I never fuckin’ said that, what I meant was…”

Trailing off, he let out a frustrated sigh.

“It don’t matter what I meant. What’s fuckin’ done is done and you’re my kid and shit fuckin’ happens and despite all that shit, I’m still proud of you, darlin’. You met the devil head-on and came out alive. Not many fuckers out there can say that.”

He sighed again. “You wanna be part of the club, I ain’t gonna stop you. You want to be Ripper’s old lady, I ain’t gonna stop you. You’re twenty-one, a grown-ass woman who’s been makin’ her own mistakes for some time now and doin’ just fine.”

“You’re okay with me and Ripper?” I whispered, shocked. “I mean…even after everything…and what I did to ZZ?”

He snorted. “Am I happy that you and Ripper were sneakin’ around behind my back? Fuck no. Am I likin’ the fact my daughter was forced to kill a bitch? No. Is it okay that so far you’ve run off two of my high-rankin’ boys? No. Should you have told me you were fuckin’ knocked up? Yeah, baby, you fuckin’ should have. But Jesus, Danny, who am I to be judgin’ anyone? Made my fair share of mistakes too. I spent too much time wantin’ a woman I kept lettin’ get away, and I don’t want that for you.”

My jaw dropped. Who was this man?

“Darlin’, we live in a fuckin’ cesspool of shit and dirty-ass motherfuckers, but if you found somethin’ good and true, somethin’ that you can bank on bein’ there for you when everything else is fallin’ apart around you, whoever it is, I’m good with it.”

He smiled. A true smile, full of dimples.

“Just don’t be tellin’ Ripper that. I want that boy shittin’ his pants every time I look his way.”

My lips split in a smile I couldn’t contain any more than I could stop breathing.

“There it is,” he said softly, reaching out and running his knuckles down my cheek. “There’s my Danny girl.”

And just like that, I had my father back.

Life may not always go the way you’d planned, you may not have the perfect family, you may not be the most beautiful, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the best of what you do have.

My father wasn’t perfect, far from it. He’d made a lot of mistakes and I had no doubt he was going to make a lot more. But he was mine and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

• • •

In the club parking lot, I sat inside the truck long after my father, Eva, and Ivy had gone inside. Just thinking.

About me.

About Ripper.

About everything.

I cried a little. Smiled. Closed my eyes and just appreciated the sun on my face.

I knew who I wanted.

I knew he wanted me.

Did I believe he was going to stay? Yeah, I did.

And my father had given me his blessing.

Everything was out in the open now.

No more secrets.

It was time to stop dwelling on the past, time to let go of my painful memories and make new ones, better ones.

With Ripper.

Giggling, I pressed my hand against my mouth.

I was going to be Ripper’s old lady.

And maybe…someday I would be his wife.

My stomach suddenly full of butterflies, I squeezed my eyes shut and laughed out loud.

Erik and Danielle Jacobs.

Danielle Elizabeth Jacobs.

Perfect.

More than perfect.

It was beautiful.

I jumped out of the truck, suddenly desperate to find Ripper. To start my life, our life, right this very second.

“Well, ain’t you adorable.”

Startled, I whirled around. A tall, curvy black woman stood mere feet from me, her head cocked to one side, smiling.

There were very few African-Americans living in Miles City, Ellie’s family being one of them. In a town where everyone knew everyone, I knew immediately this woman was not from around here.

Which meant one of three things. Either she was a club associate, or she’d met one of the boys on a run and was passing through for a hookup, or…

She shifted and her jean jacket opened slightly, revealing a holstered gun on either side of her body.

I backed up a few steps and her smile widened.

“Security’s tight,” she said. “Wasn’t easy gettin’ in here.”

Or…she was here for less than honorable reasons. Yep.

“Um…my father,” I stammered, my heart in my throat. “Do you want me to get him?”

“Who’s your father, boo?” she cooed, her tone sugary sweet.

“Deuce,” I whispered. “My father is Deuce.”

Her smile turned into a vicious grin and my stomach took a nosedive.

“He’s inside?” she asked, nodding at the club.

“Yes,” I whispered, fighting the urge to run. This woman might appear calm, but there was something in her eyes…

Something that told me running would be a very bad idea.

“I’m gonna need a favor then, Deuce’s daughter.”

She glanced over my head, at the club. “You go on and get your daddy for me, can you do that?”

I nodded.

“Well, honey,” she said, smiling. “You go on then.”

Shaking, I turned to go, readying to run…

Pain radiated through the back of my skull and my vision went fuzzy.

Then black.

Then I was falling…falling…

And then, there was nothing at all.