Under the Boardwalk

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Quinn realized he hadn’t used protection at the same time he accepted that he loved Ari. He was still buried deep inside her body, his breath coming in shallow gulps and his weight pinning her to the mattress. Rolling off her was the last thing he wanted to do, but he forced himself to move. No matter how happy his body was, his mind screamed he needed distance.

He was in love? He nearly snorted aloud. He had finally opened his heart, and who did he choose but a woman who picked up and left the people she cared about too damn easily. Just like the other people in his past.

“I’ll be right back.” Quinn pushed himself to the edge of the bed.

“Don’t be long,” she murmured, her fingers trailing over his back.

“Oh hell.” He could search for some walls to erect to protect himself from her later. Right now he wanted to be with Ari again, he thought, and rolled back into her arms.

An hour later, they were sharing Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in bed. Dozer lay on the edge of the mattress snoring and Ari was trying to decide what to do with her winnings.

She licked the spoon, her tongue lapping over the cool steel just as she’d taken him into her mouth earlier. He nearly groaned aloud at the memory.

“I could put the money in savings,” she said, bringing him back to reality. “Or I could see if my parents need help with the spa.”

As much as he loved her generous spirit, he wished she’d put herself first for a change. “Would it kill you to splurge a little? Treat yourself to something and put the rest away for a rainy day.”

She nodded. “Maybe that’s not a bad idea.”

He persevered. “What would you spend it on? If you could buy anything you wanted, what would you pick?”

She laughed but he heard an almost desperate longing in the sound. “I couldn’t afford my fantasies. Not even with my winnings.”

“Let’s hear it.” He pushed himself up against the pillows and rested on one side. “Come on, spill your vices.” He reached over and twirled her hair around his finger.

He wanted to know what secrets lurked in her heart. What yearnings she refused to admit aloud.

“It’s nothing I can buy. It’s just a sense of something that I’m looking for.” She closed her eyes and curled into his arms. “I love this house. It’s so cozy and warm.”

“Same feelings I had the first time I saw it. I bought it at auction and did the renovations myself,” he said, unable to disguise the pride in his voice. “This house was the one thing I splurged on.” Ironic that when he asked Ari what she’d do with her money, her wishes were much the same as his.

Obviously she needed a place to belong as much as he had.

Just as obviously they needed each other.

“You made a good choice. It’s on the beach and you can hear the surf,” she said softly. “I feel good here.”

Quinn buried his face in her hair. “You do feel good here.” She also felt right here, in his house, among his things, and in his arms.

He knew better than to trust it would last. She was drowsy and her defenses were down. No doubt she’d feel differently very soon. When she learned the truth about her sister, when he’d finished wrapping up Sam’s foster-care situation and the teenager was settled and Ari no longer worried about where Sam would end up. Then she’d have to decide who she was-Professor Ariana Costas or his Ari.

Quinn shuddered to imagine which one she’d choose. And he could think of only one thing that might help her decide. “Ari? Are you up to taking a ride?”

She rolled her head to the side and met his gaze, suddenly more awake-and more wary than before. “A ride? Now? To where?”

“To see your sister.”

Still trembling inside at the thought of seeing her twin, Ari walked into the garage. She waited as Quinn held open the door to his truck. Once she was settled, he slammed it closed behind her before getting in on the driver’s side.

He glanced her way, questions in his eyes. “Are you okay?” He placed a hand on her thigh.

His touch was reassuring, but she fidgeted in her seat anyway. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“I understand, and I’m sure you’re going to be even more speechless as the night goes on. But Ari…”

She shivered at the sound of her name on his lips. She liked the familiarity and the intimacy it evoked, especially after the time they’d just shared. And especially now when she needed his support. “Yes?” she asked, swallowing hard.

“I’m breaking every rule I’ve ever lived by tonight.” He cut off his own words with the sound of the engine turning over as he started the truck.

Her heart beat harder in her chest. Why was he breaking those all-important rules? Why do it for her? And why now? But she was too afraid to ask, more afraid of the answers.

Before putting the gearshift in drive, he reached back into a bag he’d already tossed inside. “I need you to put this on.” He held out a dark scarf in front of her. “Blindfold yourself,” he instructed, his voice leaving no room for argument.

She accepted the black garment with shaking hands. “It’s already dark out.”

“You need to trust me. I can’t let you see where we’re going. It’s for your safety as well as your sister’s.”

Swallowing hard, she nodded, then folded the scarf and tied it around her eyes, sealing out what little light there’d been. “Where is she? In general?”

“A safe house,” he said, just as the sensation of sudden movement took her off guard.

They were on their way. Knowing not to question him further, she remained silent as excitement and anticipation took hold. As if he understood, Quinn’s hand returned to rest on her thigh, the sensitive spot just above her knee. Through her jeans, his touch branded her skin, and his palm remained there for the rest of the long, quiet ride to see her sister.

• • •

“Man, are you gonna get your ass kicked for bringing her here.” Marco, the head of security at the safe house, gestured toward Ari, then took great pleasure in informing Quinn of his conclusion.

“Only if you open your big mouth,” Quinn muttered.

Undaunted, Marco turned his wry wit on Ari. “Anyone tell you that you look just like the pain in the… I mean the lady inside?”

“A time or two.” She smiled for the first time since Quinn suggested they make this trip.

He squeezed her hand tight. “Where’s Zoe?”

Marco gestured over his shoulder down a long hall. “Probably in the bedroom. Any place she doesn’t have to deal with me suits her fine,” he said, then tossed his head in a pretty damn good imitation of Ari’s twin. “Yo, Your Highness!” Marco yelled out.

The bedroom door flung open wide, hitting the wall with a loud noise. “How many times do I have to tell you, knock on the door if you expect me to answer you?” Zoe’s distinctive voice sounded in the hall.

“Notice she answered me anyway,” Marco said, chuckling.

“Who are you talking to?” Zoe walked down the hall, stopping short when she saw her sister. “Ari?” she asked, her tone incredulous, her voice cracking.

And for the first time, Quinn actually saw inside the federal agent to the softer, vulnerable woman. One who resembled her twin and who seemed frozen in place.

Quinn glanced at Ari. Her eyes were wide as she took a step forward, then stopped, insecurity halting her in her tracks.

He thought it wasn’t pride that was keeping them apart, but rather shock and uncertainty. Quinn held his breath, wondering which sister would give in first.

Maybe it was the twin thing, but they ran forward at the same time, each engulfing the other in a hug so big, the emotions surrounding them excluded everyone else in the room. Quinn included.

He prodded Marco toward the kitchen in the back of the house, leaving the sisters alone.

He’d brought them together now instead of after the sting because he was pinning his hopes on Ari’s reaction to her sister’s true identity. Ari had always believed her twin had followed in her mother’s footsteps, yet Zoe had actually managed to carve out a life for herself, separate and apart from what Ari called “the insanity.”

Quinn was banking on that revelation to help Ari come to terms with her family and realize she could love them and still lead an independent life here. Just like Zoe.

Quinn hoped like hell his plan worked, or he was shit out of luck and on his own when she was gone.

• • •

Ari stepped back to study her sister. Zoe’s hair fell to her back and she was as beautiful as ever. “You don’t look like you’ve been suffering too much,” Ari said, not sure where she was or what her sister was enduring here.

Wherever “here” was.

Zoe rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “Looks are deceiving. You try spending twenty-four/seven with Marco. Insanity’s about to set in. Speaking of Marco, I’m going to strangle him for letting you in the door.”

Ari bit down on her lower lip. “That would be Quinn you’d have to strangle for bringing me here in the first place.”

Zoe raised an eyebrow. “Mr. By-the-Book Donovan? He’s responsible? I saw him here but didn’t put two and two together.”

Ari nodded.

Zoe strode up to her and looked her in the eyes. “Why? Why would Quinn bring you to me here? Now? When he knew how dangerous it was for you?” she asked, sounding more like an interrogator than a sister.

Her tone and her air of authority set Ari off. “Oh no. You’re not the one who’s going to ask questions, I am.” Long-suppressed anger took hold at last and her voice shook as she turned on her sister. “Do you realize we thought you were dead? Mom and Dad are holding on to hope and going on with business as usual, but they’re in pain. Do you have any idea how selfish that is? Just who the hell are you? What are you doing here? And where is here, for that matter, since I drove blindfolded just to see you?” She drew a deep breath. “You’re my twin, but I feel like I don’t know you at all.”

A flash of guilt and more than a hint of hurt crossed Zoe’s face. “I may have a lot to answer for, but you’re not exactly blameless when it comes to not knowing who I am.” Zoe marched over to a couch and settled cross-legged on a cushion. “It’s not like you ever wanted to know. Or ever cared. You formulated all these high and mighty assumptions and they stuck.” She lifted her chin in the air. “You were the professor, the academic, the smart one, and so much better than Mom, Dad, or me because of the choices you made.”

Ari winced, knowing her sister was right. She’d held herself above her family and they’d all paid the price. But that didn’t change the agony Zoe had been putting the family through.

But dealing with their relationship could come after both sisters understood the situation as it stood now. “I know Mom set you up to work at Damon’s to get closer to him, thinking he was a good catch. But Mom also said she paid Damon back, so why were you still working there?” She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated at all she didn’t know. “Because I’ve met Damon and I know you couldn’t have fallen for him the way Mom had hoped.”

To Ari’s surprise, Zoe chuckled. “Mom’s got these rose-colored glasses on, doesn’t she? To think I could fall for that low-life sleaze.” She shook her head, obviously as amazed as Ari had been.

“He definitely is slime,” Ari agreed. “So…” She prodded Zoe back to her story.

“You should sit down, Ari.” Zoe patted the seat beside her.

Ari sat, then she waited.

Zoe sighed. “I worked at the casino one night and figured out Mom had set me up. That Damon was no threat to her and the money she owed didn’t amount to anything much. It doesn’t take a genius or a federal agent-which by the way I am-to sniff out a setup.”

Ari blinked, feeling as if she’d been hit by a two-by-four. “Say that again. Slowly.”

“I… was… set… up. By our mother.”

Ari shook her head. “No, the other part.”

A wry smile took hold as Zoe reached for her twin’s hand. The connection felt good after so long.

“I’m a federal agent, Ari.” Zoe met her gaze, nodding slowly. “I work for a local division of the Secret Service, guarding diplomats and other high-level officials.”

“Since when?” Ari asked, the truth much stranger and harder to believe than anything even her parents could have conjured up.

“I applied and started training right out of college.”

“But I thought…” Ari sputtered, not sure what to say. “I mean you always acted like life was one big game. There was that jaunt cross-country where nobody heard from you for almost four months.”

Zoe shrugged. “Training at Quantico.”

“You worked as a showgirl when you needed money.”

Zoe shook her head, her long hair swishing over one shoulder. “I enjoy dancing and it’s good exercise, but I never worked as a showgirl. I left the house saying I was going to work. It’s not like you ever saw me dance. And for the last five years, it’s not like you were even home.”

Ari was still unable to process what she was hearing. Or what her sister’s words meant to her entire outlook on life. “Our family operates on the P. T. Barnum assumption that there’s a sucker born every minute. How the hell can you be a special agent?”

Zoe laughed. “The same way you can be a psych professor. You have to admit with the family’s eccentricities, nobody would suspect me of being with law enforcement. So?” She spread her hands wide. “Anymore questions or do you finally believe I’m not wasting my life, just taking up space on this earth by operating one con after another?” she asked, repeating words Ari remembered using during one of their arguments.

Pain sliced through her at the memory. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Zoe’s green eyes bored into hers. “Why bother changing a perception you found so comforting?”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? Come on.” Zoe rolled her eyes. “You needed to believe the worst about us all or else you couldn’t justify your fear and need to run.”

Ari reared back, shocked by her twin’s brutal yet dead-on assessment.

“You’re not the only one who took psychology in school,” Zoe informed her. “And if just once you’d looked at me like you cared about who I was inside, not who I appeared to be, I might have shared my life with you. I love you, Ari. And I never wanted to change any part of you. Except the part that wasn’t accepting.”

Ari wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth on the couch. She took a deep breath and tried to push aside the hurt and anger overwhelming her.

Anger at herself, not Zoe. “I love you, too. And you’re right, okay? I was judgmental. But only because I couldn’t understand your life. A simple explanation and this rift between us would never have happened.”

“You’re wrong.” Zoe hopped up from her seat and paced the floor. “It wasn’t my place to explain. Or Mom’s or Dad’s.”

“They know?”

“What I do for a living? Yeah. But like me, they figured you were comfortable with your assumptions, and we didn’t want to shake your world.” Her voice softened. “We knew how you felt about the way you thought I lived. I wasn’t about to dispel the myth for you. And they agreed it was my story to tell. But I wasn’t talking. Not until you accepted me for who I am inside.” She stopped at a window, which not surprisingly overlooked a densely wooded forest.

A cover for this house, just like Zoe’s entire life had been a cover. The same way Ari’s had been a cover for everything she wasn’t willing to face. And she had no words now for the sister she’d misunderstood and in many ways betrayed.

“Do they know you’re alive and well… and here?”

Zoe shook her head, her eyes misting. “To tell them would have been to put them in danger.”

Ari released the breath she hadn’t been aware of holding. At least they hadn’t withheld that. Although Ari hadn’t told her parents she’d known Zoe was alive, her reasons were valid. She hadn’t had proof. But double standard aside, she wasn’t sure she could justify it to herself if they’d known and not told her that her twin was safe.

Zoe turned back to her. “Now are you ready to hear how I ended up in this godforsaken place with only Marco for company?”

Ari nodded. “Might as well give it to me all at once.” She pressed her hand to her temples, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on.

“Once Mom set me up hoping I’d fall for Damon, I went to work there and immediately realized that something wasn’t right with him. I couldn’t say what, but my gut told me he wasn’t as squeaky clean as he wanted the world to believe. I picked up little clues, meetings he lied about, dealings with shady characters, and I realized he had connections with known drug dealers. Money laundering seemed like the obvious answer. I just wanted a look at the books and then I planned on going to the authorities. But before I could even find out where the books were, Quinn caught me snooping. Damon walked in on us and ordered Quinn to take me out.”

Zoe shook her head. “So Quinn dragged me out of the casino through the back entrance. Next thing I know, I’m learning that he’s an undercover cop and I have to be stashed at a safe house until the operation is over.”

“Well.” Now that Ari understood everything about her twin, she almost wished she didn’t. “I’m not sure what to say. ‘I’m sorry’ is a start, but it doesn’t really erase the past, now does it?”

“I don’t hold grudges. I’m not perfect myself.” Zoe glanced down. “I mean, I could have been honest, but I was too stubborn. I wanted you to see me on your own.”

A smile tugged at Ari’s lips. “I guess we do come from the same egg. I was pretty stubborn in my beliefs, too.”

“I’m so sorry I had to let you believe I was missing or dead.” Tears filled Zoe’s eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you that way. I just didn’t want anyone going to the casino and risking their lives. I was so sure you’d hear about me and grieve, but you’d do it long distance.” She wiped her damp eyes with the back of her hand. “Guess neither of us really knows the other, do we?”

“But we can change that, right?” Ari asked hopefully.

“Right.” Zoe pulled her into her arms and Ari hugged her sister tight. “Now tell me all about Quinn.”

Half an hour later, the sisters had caught up. To Ari’s surprise though, she hadn’t confided in Zoe at all about her intimate relationship with Quinn. Not because she didn’t want to share with her sister, but because there wasn’t anything to tell. There couldn’t be anything beyond the here and now.

In discovering the truth about Zoe, her occupation, and the fact that she lived a life with direction and zeal, Ari had learned even more about herself. She was more judgmental than she’d believed and because of that she’d lost her sister’s faith and trust. Ari couldn’t say she liked the woman she discovered herself to be.

She’d come here with Quinn expecting a reunion with her twin. She’d gotten a life lesson instead. One that left her more confused about herself and her future than ever before.

• • •

Quinn’s plan had backfired. He’d sensed Ari’s withdrawal and emotional distance even before they’d left her sister behind. For her safety, Quinn still had to blindfold Ari for their return home, and she’d sat in silence for the better part of the ride.

Until finally she spoke. “Pull over.”

“What?”

“It feels like we’re on a highway, so find a rest stop or someplace safe and pull over. Please.”

Quinn shot her a surprised glance.

Her jaw was clenched, a determined expression on her face. He’d sat in the kitchen earlier. The house was small, the walls purposefully paper thin. He and Marco couldn’t help but overhear much of the sisters’ conversation, and it had been far from the warm, fuzzy reunion he’d hoped for. Then again, what did Quinn know about family dynamics? Still, Ari was obviously upset and he figured it was best not to argue with her now.

He drove into an empty truck-weighing station. No markers showed where they were, so he removed the blindfold from Ari’s eyes.

“Thanks.” She blinked into the darkness, obviously trying to focus.

He inclined his head. “No problem.” He placed his hand over the back of her seat. She was distant and preoccupied, and though he should heed her signals, his gut told him to act as if nothing had changed. Until she told him otherwise, he’d assume nothing had.

He let his fingers trail over her shoulders in an attempt to offer comfort. She subtly but noticeably eased back, away from his touch.

His stomach cramped. “What’s up?” he asked. After all, stopping at a truck station wasn’t an everyday occurrence. No more than reuniting estranged twins at an FBI safe house, he thought wryly.

“I wanted to talk.” She glanced down at her intertwined hands. “You knew Zoe was a federal agent.”

He shook his head. “Not at first. When she started working as a dancer, I had no idea. When I found her with confidential files in her hands after she’d broken into Damon’s office, I thought she was just incredibly stupid. Then Damon showed up and ordered me to get rid of her.” He gripped the steering wheel hard, the memories of his dealings with Zoe coming back to him. “The next day, your parents reported her missing.”

“A disappearance you and Zoe staged.”

Quinn nodded. “It would have gone down smoothly if-”

“I’d stayed in Vermont the way Zoe thought I would.”

“That pretty much sums it up.”

She sighed and Quinn felt her pain.

He’d dreaded this day from the moment they’d met, but he’d mistakenly believed he could orchestrate the twins’ meeting and benefit everyone in the process. He shook his head. He certainly couldn’t claim a relation to Dr. Phil. If anything, he’d screwed up Ari even more.

“What happened back there, anyway?” he asked, hoping she’d confide in him.

She shrugged. “Zoe pretty much let me know that it was my attitude and assumptions that kept me distant from her and the family.” Ari rubbed her eyes with the silk scarf he’d used as a blindfold. “And she was right.”

Indignation rose inside him on her behalf. “I’ve dealt with your sister and, believe me, she’s no picnic. She does things her way. She could have confided in you and spared you both a lot of pain.”

She shook her head. “She wanted me to accept her for who she was. Isn’t that what I wanted from Jeffrey? From my family? Yet I couldn’t do the same for them. I was arrogant, stubborn, and completely self-absorbed in my opinion of who Zoe was. God, I even dictated what kind of life she ought to live, when all along, she was working for the government!” Self-disgust rang in her voice.

“Look, I don’t know much about family relationships, but I do know you two love each other. That counts for something. So you misjudged her. You’ll make it up to her. In the meantime, look on the bright side. Look at the good in what you just learned.”

Instead of her falling into his arms and telling him how smart he was, she stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. “And what positive thing did I just learn?” she asked, sarcasm in her tone. “Please do fill me in, because frankly I’m blank.” She spread her hands in front of her.

Quinn drew a deep breath, then laid his final card on the line. “Ari, you just found out Zoe’s a federal agent, not a con artist with no direction. You must realize now that she’s lived with your crazy family-your words, not mine-and she’s still managed to take a positive direction despite it all.”

Ari still stared at him blankly and frustration filled him. Obviously she wasn’t ready to hear anything he had to say, let alone relate it to herself, her life, and ultimately to them. She needed time to process tonight, and he could understand.

“I need to know one more thing,” she said.

He shrugged. “Just ask.”

She laid a hand on his arm, then as if realizing she’d reached out for an emotional connection to him, she withdrew her touch. “Why did you bring me to Zoe now?” she asked. “Why didn’t you wait until the case was over and the risk wasn’t as great?”

He felt himself being led toward even greater disaster and refused to participate. “You aren’t ready to hear the answer,” he informed her. “Put the blindfold back on now.” He placed his hand back on the gearshift, hoping she’d listen before he spilled his guts and drove her further away.

“I asked you a question and I’d appreciate an answer.”

Damn stubborn woman. He exhaled a groan. “No, you wouldn’t. It’s like your sister all over again. You only think you want to know. Once you do, you’ll run for the hills.”

“I’m a lot tougher than you think. Especially after tonight. So tell me, Quinn. Why did you bring me to Zoe? Why did you take the risk to this assignment? To your career?”

He grabbed her by both shoulders and pulled her to him. “Because I had to.” By being vague, he was at once refusing to answer, yet goading her to press him for more.

A perverse part of him wanted her to keep pushing him until he bared his soul. And then what? he wondered, his head pounding with the knowledge that he was about to find out.

“Why?” she asked again. “In a few days I’ll be gone from your life. You’ll remember me as a woman you screwed with no strings attached. Most men would be thrilled with the situation, but you put yourself on the line. For me. And I want to know why.”

She was so full of shit. She was using words to push him away, and he wasn’t going to indulge her by letting an argument about semantics sidetrack him. “Because I hoped that if you talked to Zoe, you’d see that you could be a Costas, live among your family, and still have a normal existence. You could accept them and still be yourself.”

She narrowed her gaze and he hoped like hell she was either thinking about his words or storing them to examine later.

“That’s nice but why the hell do you care?”

“I think you already know, but for some reason you need it spelled out. Probably so you can have another excuse to run away,” he muttered. “And I’m just stupid enough to give it to you. I needed you to reunite with your sister because I care. And again I’m just stupid enough to hope that you have the guts to admit you feel the same way about me.”

Tears fell from her eyes but she remained silent. Which was okay, he told himself. He’d just added to her burdens by giving her more emotional crap to deal with. He trusted she’d come around.

She swallowed hard and stroked his cheek with her hand. “You’re a great guy, Quinn. But you deserve a hell of a lot better than me.”

And without meeting his gaze, she lifted the blindfold and tied it tightly around her eyes, closing him out.

Completely.