Under the Boardwalk

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Nicholas Costas had gone to sleep early, the drama of Zoe’s homecoming obviously wearing him out. Ari understood. She was drained herself, both physically and emotionally. But she was also elated her family was back together and whole, Zoe and now Sam included. So while her father slept, the women of the house sat around the kitchen table. Spank included.

Her mother had insisted Aunt Dee sneak the monkey over to be included in the family gathering. To Ari’s shock, Zoe and Spank didn’t seem to get along. When Zoe turned her back, Spank stuck out her tongue. And when Zoe tried to speak, Spank made loud, rude noises just to be the one that got attention. Ari had never seen anything like it.

“It’s so good to have all my girls home,” Elena said, echoing what their father had said earlier.

“It’s good to be home. You can’t imagine what it was like to be stuck in that house for weeks on end,” Zoe said, but as soon as she spoke, Spank began to bang a spoon on the table. Loudly.

Elena sighed. “She’s just jealous. She always felt she had to compete for attention when Zoe’s around because-”

“Zoe likes to talk?” Sam asked, giggling.

Zoe grabbed a napkin, rolled it into a ball, and tossed it at Sam. “Can it, Squirt.”

Sam wrinkled her nose at Zoe, but the love and longing in the young girl’s eyes would have been painful were it not unconditionally guaranteed to be reciprocated by anyone and everyone in the Costas house. Even Zoe, who’d only been home a few hours. At least those two would get along just fine, Ari thought, smiling.

“Did I say I was sorry?” Zoe asked, glancing around the table. “Because I am. Truly, horribly sorry for making all of you worry about me and think I was… dead,” she said, nearly choking on the word.

“You apologized too many times,” Ari said. “We understand why you had to do it.” Actually Ari understood so much more, having had to lie to the family, too, in order to keep Zoe’s secret and their parents safe.

Elena strode over to Zoe and hugged her tight. “It’s my fault for putting this whole sordid mess into action. I never should have tried to set you up with Damon. Never should have brought you into the casino in the first place. So we both shoulder some responsibility.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “And now it’s over. We put it behind us and move on, yes?”

“Yes,” Aunt Dee chimed in. “And Zoe, wait until you see the plans for the spa. I know we mentioned things to you before you disappeared, but the actual plans are incredible,” Aunt Dee said, light dancing in her eyes as she began to talk about the project.

Ari watched from a distance. Not as an outsider looking in, but as someone appreciating the scene before her and the family she had as if for the very first time. Warmth filled her as she studied the interaction and accepted that she was in fact a part of this family and its dynamics.

She might not understand it all, but with age came wisdom and with distance had come the realization of all she’d missed out on by running away.

“Eeew! Would you stop playing with your feet at the table?” Zoe yelled, interrupting Ari’s serene moment as she smacked the monkey’s hand.

Spank in turn pulled a lock of Zoe’s hair.

“Children, stop!” Elena clapped her hands.

Spank laid her head on the table, while Zoe turned to her mother. “This is mortifying.”

“She doesn’t live here anymore, so cut her some slack,” Elena whispered, ostensibly so Spank wouldn’t overhear and have her feelings hurt.

Ari couldn’t help it. She giggled. Giggling turned to laughter and from laughter came tears. A huge family hug ensued that engulfed Ari in love and comfort and understanding-all things she’d missed over the last few years.

And if she still had an empty hole in her chest, well, nobody else had to know it was because she already missed Quinn.

• • •

Ari’s bags were packed. She’d been back home in her old room in her parents’ house for the past three days. Blessedly, the loudest part of the construction had ended, and since she no longer needed to sleep days, she had no noise issues to deal with. She and Zoe had had some late night catch-up talks, and Ari was certain Sam would adapt well to living with her family. All in all, life had returned to normal. Costas normal.

Yet Ari hadn’t returned to Vermont. Instead, she was dressing and putting on makeup for a family party. A three-part family party, consisting of a welcome-home bash for Zoe, a welcome-to-the-family party for Sam, and a going-away party for Spank.

The monkey had won a starring role on Broadway in Doctor Dolittle. Spank was destined for stardom.

“Knock knock.” Zoe peeked into the doorway. “Care for company?”

“Sure.”

Although she and Zoe had talked often, there was still a wariness on Zoe’s part, as if she didn’t quite trust in their sisterly bond. Only time would undo the rift that Ari had created. Wanting to breach the chasm was part of the reason she didn’t want to leave just yet. The other part was Quinn, the man she’d turned away yet couldn’t stop thinking about, day and night.

Zoe sat on her bed and crossed her legs, eyeing Ari with a grin on her face. “I like the skirt.”

Ari glanced down at the black mini. “Oops. I forgot to return it,” she said, caught at stealing her sister’s clothes.

“Reminds me of when we were younger.”

Zoe laughed while Ari was suddenly trapped in a time warp. “We did share clothing, didn’t we?” And not the prissy tops and trousers Ari had been favoring for too long now.

Her twin nodded. “For a while we shared everything. Until you put up a wall and pulled away from the family.”

Ari swallowed hard. “I hated that our family was so different from everyone else’s,” she admitted. “I wanted to blend in and not stand out, and to me that started with the way I dressed.”

“It wasn’t… isn’t just the clothes. It was the attitude. You changed. You condemned us and our choices. And as a kid, I could understand it more than I did over the last few years.”

Ari nodded. “I wish I could say it wasn’t intentional.” She settled in beside her sister. “But in the beginning I wanted to create distance and later it had become a habit. If I told myself I didn’t understand you, then I couldn’t be like you.” She sighed.

“There’s nothing wrong with embracing individuality,” Zoe said. “For you or for me. But that overwhelming need not to be one of us…” She shook her head. “That I never understood.”

Looking back, Ari couldn’t comprehend it either. “What started out as adolescent embarrassment ended up changing me.” She held her hands out in front of her, trying to explain and apologize at the same time. “And then the disastrous affair with Jeffrey just topped it all off and I needed to get away.”

“And now you’re going back.” Zoe pointed across the room to the fully packed suitcases that lay open on the floor.

“I have this semester and next to finish.” But the excuse sounded lame to Ari’s ears. Yes, she had a job and a commitment, but many teachers took unexpected leaves and the school and the students survived. In her case, the substitute was a talented young professor seeking tenure. She’d be happy to take over and finish Ari’s class.

She blinked. What was she thinking?

“Do you enjoy teaching?” Zoe asked.

“I love it. I really do, but-”

Zoe nudged her leg. “But what?” she prompted, a knowing smile on her lips. “But you enjoyed the excitement here, too?”

Ari laughed, almost reluctant to admit her twin had a point. “Yeah. I did.”

“I thought so, especially after I heard how you pulled off the ultimate Costas con.”

As Quinn had predicted, pride suffused Zoe’s voice, but all Ari could think about was her twin’s choice of words. “What do you mean I pulled off a con?” Her throat seemed to close as she spoke the word.

“When they released me from protective custody, Marco said Quinn had raved about how you’d distracted Damon with your rendition of The In-Laws.” Her eyes glittered with amused laughter. “Dropping to your knees, crying, howling, begging for your life, all so Quinn could catch Damon off guard. And all without being preplanned.”

Ari felt herself blush, a heat rising to her cheeks as her federal-agent sister went on about her amateurish attempt at saving the day. “It was a gamble. A gimmick. All I could think of on the spur of the moment.”

“That’s right. You thought on your feet and you did it just like any Costas would. You pulled off the ultimate con on that dirtbag Damon. After all the bimbos he dated, the man finally got his comeuppance by a woman. It’s sweet justice.” Zoe grinned. “But for you, it was absolute proof.”

“Of?” Ari asked, but she had a hunch she already knew.

“That you’re one of us,” Zoe said. “It’s in your blood, it’s in your genes, but most of all it’s in your heart.” She spoke the words Ari had already accepted that night in the kitchen.

Reaching over, Zoe pulled her into a warm hug. “Welcome home, Ari.”

Ari’s eyes filled with tears and she embraced her sister in return.

“Marco said Quinn had to be damn quick on his feet to get what you were doing.” Zoe eased back, still not finished regaling Ari with Marco’s version of events. “Either that or you two must have had some kind of mental telepathy or connection.” Her twin’s voice trailed off as the truth obviously dawned. “So what exactly is going on between the two of you?”

“Nothing,” Ari said. “Not anymore.”

Zoe narrowed her gaze. “But something did. I knew it the second I saw you two at the safe house. If he did anything to hurt you, I’m going to kill him,” she said, and from her protective tone, Ari knew she meant it.

“Quinn’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot in his life and he deserves someone who’ll be there for him.”

“And you won’t?” Zoe scoffed at the notion. “I can tell you that even if you finish the semester in Vermont, you’ll be back.”

“What makes you say that?” Ari asked, but a smile tugged at her lips. The thought of coming home for good opened the vise around her heart and she breathed easier.

Zoe rolled her eyes. “Didn’t we just cover all that? You’re one of us. You can’t go back to that boring life in Vermont anymore than you can button up your collars again.” She pointed to Ari’s lace camisole, which she’d sneaked out of Zoe’s drawer to pair with her already pilfered miniskirt.

“I’ve been telling myself that I don’t know who I am. But I do,” Ari said softly. “It’s just so hard to admit it out loud.”

“Why?” Zoe asked.

“Because it means I lost five years of my life living in Vermont, away from you, from Mom, Dad, and the rest of the family.” Admitting her faults wasn’t easy but it was the first step toward making her way back.

“It helped you grow. It helped us grow and change and come to understand you better, too,” her sister said. “And now it’s in the past, right?” Zoe looked anxious as she awaited an answer.

“Right,” Ari said. “I really did have some good times in Vermont and met some good people and friends. It just isn’t right for me anymore. It hasn’t been for some time.” She’d just been too stubborn, too entrenched in the conservative world she’d created for herself to admit it.

“It took my missing-person stunt to prove to you what you knew all along. In here.” Zoe tapped her chest, right above her heart. “But I’m so sorry about the pain I caused all of you.”

Ari nodded. “I know. And you can stop apologizing for it.”

“Now that you’re facing your family and your past, I have one more question for you,” Zoe said.

Ari shrugged. “Might as well get it over with all at once, so shoot,” she said, laughing.

Zoe sobered as she said, “You wasted five years away from your family. How many are you going to waste away from Quinn? The man you obviously love?”

As Ari glanced at her twin and contemplated the question, she wasn’t laughing anymore. Because Zoe was right. She did love Quinn and had for some time. Voicing the truth she’d been fighting made her light-headed and giddy.

She loved him.

She loved his tough-guy exterior and the softness inside he didn’t let many people see. She loved the way he’d created his own family out of Connor and Sam, all the while denying he had anyone in his life he cared about or who cared for him. And she loved how he’d put her before his job, first by admitting her sister was alive and then by taking her to the safe house and risking his career. But she hadn’t repaid him well.

Quinn Donovan was a man with a difficult history behind him, and one who didn’t trust or give of himself easily. He’d given Ari his heart, but not once had she admitted she felt the same. She’d pushed him away, the fear of finding and accepting herself too overwhelming.

She’d let him down and he had every reason to withdraw into himself and keep her at a distance now. Just as she had no choice but to confront him and see if they could try to create a future together.

She glanced up to tell Zoe she was right, but her twin had disappeared, leaving Ari alone with her thoughts. Ari hoped it wasn’t an omen of things to come.

• • •

• • •

Connor led Maria into the Costas house, his hand on her back. An unfamiliar feeling of pride swelled inside him, that he had this woman and her son by his side.

“Connor!” Zoe called out, coming up beside him. “Maria! I’m so glad you could make it.” She knelt down to the boy’s level. “And this handsome guy must be Joseph. Your mommy told me all about you when we worked at the same place.” Zoe held out her hand and the boy took it. “I have the best surprise for you,” she told him.

Remembering what Quinn had said about the reasons for this party, Connor laughed. “You’re gonna like this one, Joe.” He and the boy had settled on the more grown-up name of Joe to replace the childish Joey his mother insisted upon.

“Can I take him to see Spank?” Zoe asked Maria as she rose to her feet. “Just down in the basement. You can catch up with us there.”

Maria nodded. “It’s fine with me.”

“Want to go see a monkey?” Zoe asked.

“Heck yeah!” He took off at a run, Maria calling after him.

“Behave,” she yelled, too late for him to hear.

Connor laughed. “He’ll be fine.” He squeezed her hand in reassurance.

She was so used to handling Joe alone that it was difficult for her to let him out of her sight or cede control unless she was working. Now that Connor’s last undercover stint was over and he’d taken on regular shift work, he intended to change all that.

“Let’s go get a drink.” He motioned to the bar set up in the corner of the room.

“What are they constructing?” Maria asked as she waited for her drink.

Connor shrugged. “Quinn mentioned something about a day spa.”

Maria’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I’d love to have a place to come to after a long night of work. Maybe I can even afford it one day.”

The bartender handed her a drink and she let out a long sigh as she sipped the cola. Another thing he’d noticed about Maria, she didn’t drink liquor or beer when her son was around, and as a result, neither did Connor.

“I guess you don’t know what a detective earns, do you?” he asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “My mother taught me it’s rude to discuss religion, politics, and money.”

“Unless you’re with a person who’s looking to make a long-term commitment and needs to know we’re on the same page.”

She choked on her soda and began coughing. “Connor-”

“No. No more avoiding, no more jokes, no more anything except the truth.” He grabbed her hand and held on tight. “I care about you.” He more than cared, but he wasn’t looking to scare her off. If she agreed, he had time to convince her. “And all I want for you to tell me is whether you feel the same. If so, I think we can build something. You, me, and Joe.”

She blinked, tears filling her eyes. “I care but I’m scared. And I hate you for making me admit that,” she said, trying to turn away.

“Good.” He pulled her back. “Hating me is a start. Besides, I’m scared, too.” Going out on a limb, he admitted his deepest fears to Maria. It was something else they had in common. “Did you know they say there’s a fine line between love and hate?” he asked her.

She glared at him, but he saw the beginnings of a smile on her lips. Her smile warmed the coldest places inside him. Like he’d told Maria. It was a start.

• • •

From the festive sounds downstairs, the party was in full swing, and Ari was finally ready to face her family and resume her place within it. She walked to the top of the stairs and paused at the wall of shame. As she viewed the pictures from a new, adult perspective, she saw a remarkable collage of family photos. A history few people could claim and one Ari was now proud to be a part of.

She couldn’t erase the years she’d distanced herself, but she could make up for them now and enjoy the present. As she made her way to the bottom step, she noticed the newest addition to the wall, a picture of Sam and Spank in matching dresses. What struck Ari most was how the young girl’s blonde hair fell around her shoulders, no baseball cap in sight, no attempt to hide from herself or blend into the scenery.

To Ari, the irony was clear-while Ari had lived here, she’d run from herself. As soon as Sam moved in, she’d done the opposite. In the Costas house, Sam had finally found the sense of security that enabled her to be herself. It had taken Ari much longer, but she’d finally come full circle.

A smile on her face, Ari strode into the room to join the party. She’d been told only family would be present, and so when she caught sight of Connor, Maria, and Quinn, she felt as if she’d been sucker punched by the unexpected guests. In Ari’s mind, there were two possible explanations.

The first was her gut reaction: the family had blindsided her by bringing Quinn here. But her mother had sworn she’d learned her lesson trying to matchmake with Zoe and Damon, and so the second explanation that came to Ari’s mind was the more plausible one. Even if it was more twisted in logic.

This was a family party. Sam was now family. Quinn was Sam’s family, which made him part of the Costas extended family. Since Connor was like family to Quinn, that explained his presence, and he’d brought Maria. All in all, a typical Costas type of gathering, Ari thought.

If she weren’t so stunned, she’d thank her family, since they’d saved her from having to seek Quinn out on her own. But with no warning and no time to plan how to handle him, she felt trapped, and her stomach bunched into tight, nervous knots. Just because they occupied the same breathing space by no means guaranteed the outcome Ari wanted.

• • •

Quinn watched Ari’s entrance. The sense of longing he felt upon seeing her warred with anger because she hadn’t been able to get past her damn fears and walls. Hell, nobody had bigger walls than he had, and he’d torn them down for her. Man, he didn’t want to be here, and as soon as they got past the celebration stage and he could lecture the family all at once about ending their con-artist ways, he was out of here.

“So glad you could make it,” Nicholas said, coming up to Quinn and pulling him into a bear hug. “I even forgive your… how do you say? Deception for not telling me Zoe was alive. You saved her and that’s all that matters.” The older man hugged him again. “You will always be part of this family.”

Without warning, a lump rose in Quinn’s throat as Ari’s father offered him the acceptance he’d never had. “Thank you, sir.”

Quinn felt the heat of a stare at his back. He didn’t have to turn to know Ari was watching the entire exchange. Ari, in the black miniskirt she’d worn on her first trip to the casino and a flesh-colored lace top that made him want to drool.

Ari was still dressing as if she’d accepted her freer, more sensual side. But Quinn knew better than anyone, Ariana Costas knew how to use clothing to her advantage. Whether she was covering her Costas roots with conservative clothes or, as now, dressing to fit in with her relatives, nothing with Ari was ever as it seemed. How could it be? Inside she was still running, and nothing, not even his declaration of love, could change that.

He’d given her his heart, something no one had ever received from him before, nor would they again.

Nicholas shook a finger in front of his face. “It’s a good thing you paid more attention during this case of yours or both my daughters would be gone.”

Quinn forced a laugh, since the older man seemed to think he was hysterically funny. “Sorry. I got distracted.”

Nicholas nodded. “Well, I was just reminding you there are no formalities among family. So no more calling me ‘sir,’ ” he admonished. “Oh, look. Kassie’s here.” The older man headed to welcome his sister and her brood.

“I don’t know what to make of them,” Connor said, coming up beside him.

“If you mean the family, I understand. They can have that effect on you.” Quinn chuckled, recalling his first meeting with the relatives when he’d been pickpocketed by the monkey.

Connor slapped him on the shoulder. “You can handle them.”

“For Sam, I’ll manage,” Quinn said wryly.

“But I was talking about handling them for Ari.”

Quinn rolled his eyes. “Not everyone’s finding love as simple and as easy as you. The woman wants nothing to do with me, or haven’t you noticed?” Quinn asked, since Connor already knew Ari had run from him and he also knew why.

“I know she hasn’t stopped staring at you since she walked into the room.”

And that could be explained by lust, Quinn thought. God knew their chemistry was explosive. And in the past, with any other woman, that would have been enough for Quinn. But from Ari he’d wanted more.

Connor didn’t comment further and was soon distracted by Maria’s return from the basement.

The rest of the evening passed with toasts and thanks and hugs and kisses. Not surprisingly, Ari avoided him the entire time.

Quinn glanced at his watch. Enough time had passed and he clapped his hands, calling the entire family to attention. It was time to make sure they knew that with a child in the house, their conning future had come to an end.

And then he was going home.

• • •

Ari wasn’t surprised her entire family stopped to listen when Quinn demanded the floor. He had that commanding presence, something she’d noticed from the moment he’d tackled her on the beach.

“I need to say a few things and then you can all get back to your party,” Quinn said.

“About what?” Cousin Daphne, the nosy one, asked.

“About Sam’s future and everyone’s behavior from now on.”

Sam let out a loud, adolescent-sounding groan. “Don’t say anything to embarrass me, Quinn,” she called from the back of the room.

Ari chuckled. “If you’re going to live with this family, you’d better get used to being embarrassed. As well as being the center of attention,” she told the girl. But surprisingly, the thought no longer held the bitter memories it once had.

Quinn glanced her way. For the first time all night, their gazes met and held and a wealth of understanding passed between them. A wave of warmth and security swept through Ari as she realized how lucky she was to have found this man who understood her feelings about herself and her family and accepted her anyway.

What he didn’t know about was her acceptance of herself. And because she’d pushed him so far away, she didn’t know if her revelations had come in time for them. She needed to get him alone, and there just hadn’t been an opportunity during the party. Not when everyone wanted to thank him for helping Zoe and to get to know him. Ari had given her family the time they needed, since she planned to steal him away later.

“I noticed the monkey’s not up here,” Quinn said, breaking the silent connection between them.

“She’s in the basement,” Aunt Dee said. “With her trainer.”

“New owner,” Sam chimed in. “Did you hear? Spank’s got a new job.”

Quinn raised an eyebrow. “She’s not mooning in exchange for spare change, is she?”

Apparently Quinn hadn’t been privy to the recent developments involving the monkey.

“Spank’s gonna be a star!” Sam said, her excitement tangible. “You see, Ari found a man who’s allowed to own monkeys. Because she didn’t want my caseworker to make me leave here. At first I was so pissed.” She shook her head, obviously catching Quinn’s glare. “I mean I was so mad.”

“Better,” Quinn muttered. “Go on.”

“But then Zoe came back, and she told me that Ari’s the conscience of the family. She wants everyone to do the right thing. And giving Spank away is the right thing to do if I want to live here forever. And I do, Quinn. I really do.”

Ari watched as the dialogue between Quinn and Sam took center stage, his planned lecture giving way to something far different. His expression softened as he listened to Sam’s heartfelt plea. The rest of the family remained silent, taking it all in, too.

“I agree that Ari wants what’s best for everyone,” Quinn said, surprising her. “Except herself. Then she’s too afraid to stand up for what she really wants.”

The room was awash with loud gasps.

Ari raised an eyebrow, her hands coming to her hips. “Of all the unmitigated gall,” she muttered. It was one thing to yell at her in private, but to condemn her in front of her family was something else entirely and she wasn’t about to let him get away with it.

“Are you telling me I’m wrong?” Quinn asked, obviously challenging her.

“Ooh, I sense a good argument,” Nicholas said.

“It’s like one of ours,” Elena agreed.

Nicholas let out a loud growl. “But ours end up in the bedroom and they aren’t married,” he said in protective-father mode.

Zoe placed her hands over Sam’s ears.

Ari cringed. She’d wanted to wait until the party ended to talk to Quinn, but he was obviously spoiling for a fight. And no matter what her father said, Ari refused to discuss her future in front of her entire family.

“Apparently you forgot you were about to lecture everyone here on morals and upstanding behavior?”

He glanced at her family. “No more cons, no more games. I’m a cop and if I catch you red-handed, you won’t leave me with a choice but to turn you in. Plus if a caseworker gets wind of anything other than a respectable business going on here, she’ll pull Sam faster than Spank can pick my pocket. Got it?” he asked.

They all nodded and murmured their assent. It was a miracle, but somehow Ari believed they understood.

Then Quinn turned his glittering eyes back to her. “I’m finished.”

“Good.”

She’d learned more than she realized from watching her mother deal with her father over the years, and now Ari decided to take control of the situation and Quinn. “If you have something to say to me, you can do it in private. Now.” She turned and walked out of the room, not looking back, ignoring the stares of her relatives, the laughter, the knowing looks.

She’d just executed a typical Costas-woman move by making a scene. Well, Quinn had started the spectacle, and if he wanted to talk, he’d just have to damn well follow her and accept that the family thought she had complete power over him.

In reality, Ari knew better. Even if he followed, the man had the power to break her heart.

• • •

Quinn didn’t know what had possessed him to provoke Ari in front of her family, but he was furious at her and when the opening presented itself, his frustration and anger had spilled over. Now he had to pay in the form of humiliation in front of all her relatives.

Ignoring Connor, who stood in a corner trying not to laugh, Quinn glanced around the room at the expectant faces, especially Nicholas’s.

Finally he merely shrugged. “You said it yourself.” He spoke directly to Ari’s father. “It’s the best part of making up.”

“When you are married.”

Quinn groaned. “Then tell your daughter to stop running away.”

“I heard that,” Ari called from the doorway.

Quinn had had enough. He strode through the crowd, grabbed her hand, and pulled her through the entryway and out the front door.

“Where are we going?” she asked, outraged, as he opened the door to his truck and nudged her inside.

“Somewhere we can be alone.” But somewhere he could get to quickly, which didn’t leave him with many options.

Minutes later, he’d parked near Islet Pier. Once again, he grabbed her hand and led her to the vacant snack shack where they’d first officially met. She didn’t have a coat and neither did he, which suited him fine. It would force her to talk fast and openly or freeze to death.

No sooner had he pulled her into the shack and slammed the door and the cold wind behind them, than Ari cupped his face in her palms and kissed him. A quick, hard, determined kiss.

“What was that for?” he asked, stunned at her complete reversal in behavior.

“For being you. For loving Sam enough to put yourself out for her. For being a master at handling my family. For putting them in their place. For gaining their respect and mine.” As she spoke, she rubbed her hands together to keep warm.

He knew she was cold but Quinn wasn’t ready to pull her into his arms and provide body heat. “I’m so glad you approve of my actions.” He wasn’t anywhere close to understanding where this crazy female’s mind or heart was, and he refused to let Ari trample him again.

“You need to understand a few things.” She paced the floor, an obvious attempt to keep moving and stay warm. “You think that I should get the concept of family because I’m so lucky to have one.”

Quinn shook his head. “Honey, I know exactly what it was like for you.” And he’d offered her as much understanding as possible. “Maybe you need to hear what it was like for me. My mother was a drug addict and a hooker. My father was any one of hundreds of guys who paid for the right to her body. I don’t know and I don’t care. Neither did she as long as she had the money for her next fix. Food wasn’t as important as drugs and because of that, she OD’d one day and I found her.”

Ari winced. “Go on,” she said, apparently knowing not to offer sympathy.

Smart girl, he thought. He hated talking about where he’d come from. Now he started pacing the floor, trying as always to outrun what was always there, inside him.

Ari remained silent, frozen in place, waiting for him to continue.

“From there it was one foster home after the next. I’ve been on my own for longer than I can remember, and I always lived by rules that I understood. Nobody watches out for you except yourself, and everybody will take off one day if given the chance. Including you. Hell, especially you. I told myself over and over that not only would you leave, but you wouldn’t want anything to do with me long-term. And man, you proved me right.”

He refused to meet her gaze. “So whatever game you’re playing now, dressing and talking like Ari, I’m completely prepared for you to morph back into your prissy Ariana mode. I’m through trying to convince you I love all parts of you. Hell,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just through.”

“Good,” she said, coming up beside him. “Because I’m just getting started. Everything you ever said about me was right. I was running. I’ve always been running. Growing up is a scary thing for anyone. Some more than others. I never realized how good I had it. The truth is, you get the notion of family a lot more than I ever did.”

He shot her a disbelieving glance. “Now, that’s a laugh.”

“You didn’t have a family and you created one out of Connor and Sam. You met my parents and my wacky relatives and you didn’t judge or condemn. Instead you fit right in and a part of me resented you for it.” She shook her head. “It was just so easy for you, when it never was for me.”

Though he warned himself not to, he reached out and touched her arm. “To fit in anywhere, all you need to do is accept yourself.”

She blinked, tears forming in her eyes. “I know that now. From the minute I heard Zoe was missing until right this minute, I’ve had to really look inside myself.” She bit down on her lower lip.

The uncertainty in that small gesture tugged at his heart. “I’ve seen inside you all along.”

She smiled. “I know that, too. You helped teach me to accept myself.”

“Is this your way of telling me you’re leaving for Vermont, Ariana?” He used her full name for the first time, hating the feel of it on his tongue because it signaled the end.

“I can understand why you’d think that, but no. I’m trying to tell you that I’m staying. I love my family and I miss them and I want to come home. Well, not to their house. That would be too much for any partially sane person. But home to New Jersey,” she said, her words rambling, coming as fast as her thoughts. “It has to be after I finish the semester, because I really do owe the school and the students that much. Unless of course they don’t need me after all. We’ll see.”

“That’s all great.” His head spun from the unexpected revelation.

She met his gaze. “And I’m so grateful to you for helping me reach this point in my life.” She grabbed his hands and held on tight.

He remained silent.

“Don’t you have anything else to say?” she asked, hope and something more in those huge green eyes.

What did she want from him? “I’m thrilled that your family has you back. I am. But I can’t exactly say I’m overjoyed I’ll have to run into you when I come to visit Sam.”

Without warning, Ari burst out laughing. “Oh, Quinn, I’m sorry. I just replayed that whole conversation in my head and in all my soul-baring I forgot the most important thing.” Her expression sobered, her eyes grew wide and imploring.

He almost allowed himself to hope, but that flame had already been extinguished.

“I love you. Whether or not I blew my chances with you, I’m coming home to stay. But you have to know that I do love you. I may have spent my life running away from everything that was good, but I’m stopping here. Now. And I want to walk out of this frozen snack shop knowing I’m heading toward a future. With you.”

Quinn felt as if time had stopped. He’d given up hope and stopped believing. Even when she said she was staying, a part of him clung to the past and the little boy who felt he didn’t deserve the family all the other, good kids had. He was certain Ari was letting him know that although she’d be in town, they wouldn’t be together. He couldn’t allow himself to think she’d want him and to suffer the unbelievable pain she’d inflicted the first time she’d walked away.

Until now. Until she said those three words that nobody in his life had ever said to him. Ever.

He pulled her close. “Do you mean it?” He asked because he had to, but he already knew. He felt the warmth, the caring, the love he knew had always been there between them. She’d dug deep enough to cause herself inner pain and had come out the other side whole.

She nodded. “I mean it. I love you with every fiber of my being. And though I wouldn’t blame you if you turned and walked away, I wouldn’t let you. I’d just have to tackle you on the beach and take your breath away. Like you did to me that first time. Like I want you to do to me now.”

Quinn was only too happy to oblige. He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

Ari threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him close, although with the barrier of clothing, she couldn’t satisfy the desire to feel skin against skin and lose herself in him.

But that was okay for now. They had all the time in the world together. And only the rest of their lives would do.