Worth the fight

Chapter 38

Elle

The next morning I find Regina sleeping on the couch. Traitor. She wakes as I’m making breakfast. Okay, so maybe she didn’t wake, but instead I woke her up by slamming all the pots and pans I took out. Some of them didn’t actually need to be taken out of the cabinet. But those just looked extra loud.

“I take it you hate me this morning?” Regina walks into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. “I’m sorry. He looked so sad and, I thought…thought maybe there was a chance you could work it out.”

“Did you not hear what I told you? He thinks I’m a monster. An unredeemable monster. And he’s right.”

“He said he was a monster.”

“Only because he doesn’t know who I am. And we’re keeping it that way.” I look over at Regina for confirmation and she doesn’t look firm on her answer. “Right, Regina?”

My best friend makes a growl of frustration in response before I hear the words I need to hear. “Of course, you know I would never tell your secrets.”

Regina is my most trustworthy friend, yet I’m a little relieved to hear her recommit to our vow of secrecy. She has a soft spot for Nico Hunter.

The next week passes in a blur. I work twelve hours a day for seven days straight to catch up from the three days I spent wallowing in my self-pity. There’s always plenty of work to do at my small firm, but ninety hours in a week isn’t really necessary and I know it. But I need to keep myself busy. I hate going home. There’s nothing to do but think. Think about a man that made my steady, even-keeled life into a roller coaster. A roller coaster of emotions that I had forgot I was capable of experiencing.

My life was simple before Nico Hunter walked into it. A good job, a nice guy to date, and no more nightmares. For ten years I managed to keep my life steady. I existed. Then he walked in and suddenly existing wasn’t enough anymore. And I wanted it. I wanted to stop existing and start living. Finally. But I should have known it wouldn’t work. Even at my weekly support group, I watched as people’s faces changed once they heard my story.

It’s Thursday evening and I’m late for meeting William. We’re meeting a client we share at a restaurant. It’s the last place Nico and I had dinner and just walking in stirs my emotions. The slightest reminder is all it takes.

William waves to me from the bar when I walk in. He’s not seated at a table like he normally is when he waits for me because I’m late.

“Hey.” I look around for our client. “Is Mr. Munley later than me?”

William stands and kisses me on the cheek and smiles. “He’s not coming till seven.”

“Oh, I thought it was six.”

William sips his drink. “That’s because I told you six.”

I look at him confused, although I really have no right to be. He continues, “Munley doesn’t like to be kept waiting, so I told you six and him seven, so he wouldn’t be kept waiting.” William grins.

I’m surprised, but I shouldn’t be. I smile at William and pretend to be offended. “Are you accusing me of being perpetually late?”

“In all the years we’ve known each other, I don’t think you’ve ever once been on time. You’re forgetting how we met. I was the one that let you copy my notes when you walked in a half hour late to class every day.”

He’s teasing me, but he’s right. The only time I can even recall being on time was when I went to see Nico. I couldn’t wait to get to him. The thought brings my mood down.

For the next twenty minutes William and I catch up on clients. We haven’t really spent much time together since the night Nico and I got together and I realize that I really do miss the familiarity. We slip easily into our roles and our conversation is light and steady, almost as if we pick up exactly where we left off. My mood lightens, slightly.

Then something changes in the air. It’s a feeling that speeds my heart and makes my palms sweaty and I look around to see if it’s just me or if everyone else seems to notice it too. And then I see him. He’s twenty feet away and staring daggers at me. My breath catches when our eyes meet and I see that look in his eyes. He’s angry and wild and my traitorous body responds to him, even though I’m obviously the last thing he wants to see.

We stare at each other for a solid minute. Neither of us attempts to close the distance between us and we don’t say a word. When Nico’s eyes finally release mine, I watch as they go from me to William and back to me. Then he turns and walks out of the restaurant, and for a second I think I’ve imagined the whole thing.

“I take it you two aren’t seeing each other anymore?” William’s words confirm my vision was reality and not in my head.

I force myself to return my attention to William and shake my head no. I can’t even say the words out loud. Although I’m facing him, I’m too lost in my thoughts for the small smile that appears for a split second on William’s face to register meaning in my brain.

I’m under a cloud of haze all during dinner. Luckily William takes the lead and I don’t think our client even notices. I try to participate in the conversation, but I find my thoughts running away with themselves, and they all lead back to one place. Nico Hunter.