A Man to Call My Own

Chapter 13

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN standing there. The kind of trouble the mountain man had brought into their camp had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with Chad. He could have handled the situation without her help. But Marian hadn't known that when she'd decided to "save" him.

Now her brave effort was being laughed at. It was the gross exaggeration, though, that made her highly indignant. Leroy had probably never cleaned his teeth once in his whole life, let alone used small logs to do it. He had said that merely to point out that she was no threat to him. So she swung her club straight at his head. But he caught it easily and, with no effort whatsoever, tugged it out of her hands and tossed it toward the fire.

She would have huffed some at that point. Some help she had been. But Chad had taken advantage of the distraction she'd provided. Leroy's chuckles were cut short as he crashed to the ground, Chad's pistol butt cracked over the back of his head. It put him out completely—for the moment. And Chad wasted no time in tieing him up, just in case he regained consciousness sooner than he wanted.

Trussed up, gagged, weapons confiscated—an entire arsenal had come out of that humongous bearskin coat—Leroy no longer presented much of a danger. And Marian had remained to watch longer than she should have. She wanted to ask Chad what that had been about, but it wasn't really any of her business, and she was suddenly very mindful that she was still standing there in her underwear.

She turned to leave, hopefully without drawing Chad's notice. But he noticed, said, "Hold up, Amanda."

She froze for the second time, realizing that she wasn't wearing her spectacles. She had forgotten to grab them before coming to his rescue, which was really stupid of her. And now he thought she was Amanda.

He'd reached her back, grasped her shoulders. "That was a brave, if foolish thing you tried to do."

He was too close. She was starting to feel things other than foolish after watching him. She'd stayed too long, should have left him immediately. He was half-dressed himself, wearing only his pants, his hair mussed from sleeping. And he'd worked up a sweat while dealing with Leroy. Chad Kinkaid bare-chested was too sexy by half, his skin glistening in the firelight.

But he thought she was Amanda ...

She should correct him—no, that would be even more foolish. It wouldn't hurt for him to think she was Amanda for a few more moments. It would be much better than his finding out she and her sister were twins—if he hadn't already figured that out. He'd been around them enough to have guessed by now. But most people who knew they were twins quickly forgot about it because Marian wore her disguise so well.

But at the moment he really did think she was Amanda—and at the moment, she really didn't want to push him away.

He turned her around, tipped her face up to his. "But thank you. That could have gotten messy if you hadn't distracted him."

She was embarrassed by his gratitude and looked down as she asked, "Who was he?"

"A buffalo hunter, bounty hunter, Indian scalper, trapper, you name it, he's probably done it. But the West is getting too tame for him—or he's gotten too old to live the way he used to in the wilds. He hires himself out now for odd jobs that pay well."

"And you knew him?"

"Not really, just in passing. He stops by my fathers ranch every so often just to see if there's work to be had other than normal ranch work."

"And got lucky this time? Your father has to pay someone to get you to visit?"

Chad smiled. She wished he hadn't. He was far, far too close, and that smile of his ...

"Its more complicated than that," he said softly, too softly.

He was going to kiss her. She knew it was coming, should run like hell in the other direction, because he wouldn't be kissing her, he'd be kissing Amanda. But she couldn't get her feet to move. And deep down, she wanted that kiss, no matter that it wouldn't really be hers.

Opportunities like this just didn't come her way. Her own doing, but still, she'd put her own life on hold until Amanda got settled, yet it seemed now like that would never happen. She was old enough to marry, wanted to marry, wanted a man she could call her own. But until Amanda married and moved on, she didn't dare pursue her own desires.

Although it was deceitful to let Chad continue thinking she was someone else, the temptation was too great to say nothing, to take his kiss and ignore that he thought he was giving it to Amanda. And the time for agonizing over it ran out.

It was worth it. That thought floated through her mind as his mouth moved over hers and enthralled her senses. Oh, yes, definitely worth it. Such a heady feeling raging through her, blood racing, heart pumping, too much excitement. And when he gathered her close, she was afraid she was going to faint, pressed against him, feeling all of him, tasting him, it was too much all at once.

She had no idea how long he held her like that. She was so lost in her own sensations that time didn't matter. He could have kissed her all night, and she probably wouldn't have known the difference. It could have been only mere moments though, and when he did lean back finally, he didn't seem anywhere near as affected as she was.

She could barely think straight. He merely smiled, caressed her cheek, and said, "You should get some sleep. We'll discuss this in the morning."

That got her eyes open wide and alarm bells clanging. "No—no, there'll be no discussion of this. It didn't happen, well, it shouldn't have, so do not mention it to me—ever."

He grinned at her, didn't seem the least bit disturbed by what appeared a sudden attack of propriety on her part. "If you say so, darlin'. Long as we know otherwise."

He turned back toward the fire and his bed next to it. While he wasn't watching her, she rushed back to the wagon and her own bed underneath it. Ella Mae had been wakened at some point herself by all the commotion and had witnessed that kiss. She was lying on her side, leaning on one elbow. She rolled her eyes a bit when Marian plopped back down next to her.

"You know what you're doing?" Ella Mae asked.

"No."

"That was bad of you."

"I know."

"You should tell him the truth—and show him. That's if you want him for yourself."

Ella Mae never pulled any punches, but then she didn't come from the lower social rung. Her family had been working-class, but not poor. They'd disowned her though when she got pregnant without a husband to show for it. She'd miscarried the child, which she still mourned in quiet moments. She'd been on her own ever since.

She did her job, she did it extremely well, but she didn't care if she kept it or not because she knew she could find another job easily. Which was why she was treated more as an equal than as a servant, and why both sisters valued her. Marian also considered her a friend. Even Amanda, who had driven away five other maids, never once turned a harsh word on her. Ella Mae wouldn't tolerate it, would up and leave, and Amanda knew that. She wasn't about to risk losing someone who did her hair up perfectly and kept her wardrobe in excellent condition.

Ella Mae was sometimes too frank, though, and this was one of those times. Marian didn't want to talk about her feelings for Chad, which were hopeless in her mind, so best left unshared even with a friend.

But Ella Mae persisted. "Do you want him for yourself?"

She could have denied it, but there wasn't much point. She might have kept Amanda from noticing the direction of her yearning looks, but Ella Mae was more often with her than with Amanda, and she'd raised a questioning brow at Marian more than once about it.

"I think I do," she admitted.

"Then tell him."

"I can't. You know how jealous she'll get. And it's her he wants."

"He doesn't know her. He doesn't know you either. You should let him get to know you."

"Stop it. You know what happens when a man shows any interest in me. Amanda then reels him in and keeps him dangling indefinitely—and rubs it in my face."

"Those were boys she did that with. You've been making yourself as ugly as you can for several years now. You've never given a man a chance. They can't all be so gullible to fall for her ploys."

"Maybe not," Marian replied. "But I'm not going to be responsible for even one more man getting hurt like that. I can bide my time."

"Biding time is easy—and gets you nowhere," Ella Mae pointed out.

"I'm in no hurry."

"Aren't you? You want to lose this one that you really want?"

Marian sighed. "I don't have him to lose. He's already made his preference plain."

"So has she. She's shown no interest in him. She's barely civil to him."

Marian grinned at that point. "Which is why I can bide my time. He's different from the others. He hasn't made a fool of himself over her yet. I think he may be waiting to see if she's worth the effort."

"Or waiting until he doesn't have to worry about keeping us alive."

Marian made a face of disgust. "Oh, sure, shoot my conclusion down. Some encouragement you are."

Ella Mae chuckled with a shake of her head. "Mari, you make life too complicated. And he's made his move. He kissed her—or thinks he did. Consider that while you try to get to sleep."