A Man to Call My Own

Chapter 56

MARIAN WASN'T SURE WHAT to say to him, or if she could even get any words out past the lump in her throat. Was she just supposed to believe him, when all this time she'd been sure he was still pining for Amanda?

Everything he'd said sounded good. Too good. That was the problem. How could she just accept it all when she'd drawn such opposite conclusions? It would mean she'd been an utter fool. That she'd let her difficulties with her sister go too far.

But she did owe him a better explanation than she'd given. She turned back to him—and found him gone.

She caught her breath in surprise. She hadn't heard him leave. And he'd left with the wrong impression. That wouldn't do. He'd intruded in her room several times that day, she could do the same to him.

But he'd left the hotel. She began to panic, imagining what he must be thinking. She should just wait for him to return, but she couldn't. She had no idea where he might be, but she'd find him. He hadn't been gone that long.

She found him on a corner in the center of town, just standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets, as if he'd been doing the same thing she'd done earlier—wandering aimlessly in thought. It was very late in the afternoon, almost evening. Businesses were closing for the day; people were rushing home from work, making the sidewalks and streets much more crowded than usual. It was the heavy traffic that had probably stopped him where he was.

He was drawing curious stares from passersby because of his Western-style coat, boots, and the wide-brimmed hat that Easterners weren't used to seeing. At least he wasn't wearing his gun holster. That had been packed away since they'd reached Chicago.

She approached from behind him. At least she'd had the presence of mind to wear her veil again. She'd already seen three people she knew, though they hadn't recognized her.

A crowded corner wasn't exactly the ideal place to have a conversation, but no one else was standing still, so she didn't think they'd be overheard. She was josded a few times before she got up the nerve just to say what needed to be said.

"The moment the notion took hold that you thought I was Amanda that day, it colored my judgment on everything else."

At the sound of her voice he turned around. Realizing where they were, he took her arm and started walking, so at least no one passing would hear more than a word or two of what they were saying. "I knew you were angry. I was going to explain, but Amanda never gave me a chance to. I was shocked, more than anything else, when she claimed what she did. I knew deep down that you were the woman I'd made love to, but when you didn't correct her outlandish insinuations, I didn't know what the hell to think anymore."

She started blushing, and told him, "I suppose I didn't have enough confidence in myself to speak up immediately. I still couldn't believe that you'd prefer me over Amanda."

"But I did," he insisted.

"Let me finish. I wasn't supposed to be the sister of choice, for any man. For a long time I went through a lot of effort to make sure I wouldn't be."

"Why?"

"To prevent exactly what happened. Why do you think Amanda claimed what she did? It wasn't just about the inheritance. It was because she was jealous that you could want me instead of her. It's always been that way with her. It's why I tried to conceal the fact that we are twins. My disguise, the insults, were to make sure men would only notice her."

"So she might get jealous. That was no reason for you to change your appearance completely and live with that lie indefinitely."

"I felt it was. You see, it never failed that if a man showed even the slightest interest in me, or vice versa, she'd lure him to her instead, by any means, even making love to him if that's what it took. And after she rubbed it in my face that he was hers, she'd then cast him aside, inflicting a good deal of emotional pain in the process to punish him for having thought about me in the first place. I didn't want to see that happen to you."

"You couldn't tell me that at the time?"

"That I'd fallen in love with you? No, Amanda had to get married first before I could admit to that."

He stopped, grinned, tilted her face up to his. "You love me?"

"I didn't say that, I said—don't confuse the issue. I'm trying to explain—"

"Darlin', nothing else matters if you love me."

She should just accept that, grab her happiness, and to hell with everything else.

"Yes it does. Aside from my feelings, I still don't see how you could love me, me, when you didn't even know the real me. It's just this face, her damn face—"

"It's time for you to hush up again, Mari," he said gently and lifted her veil so he could cup her cheek. "You think I don't know you? You're the one who showed such concern for me that you nearly chewed my tail off for it when I stood down those stage robbers. You're the one who showed remarkable courage— or foolhardiness—when you thoughtlessly tried to take on a mountain man four times your size just to help me. You're kind, you're considerate, you worry about others' feelings— maybe a little too much. I admire your gumption; I admire your talent. Actually, I think you're kind of wonderful. You're the one I fell in love with, Mari, and before I ever saw your real face, before I knew you were her twin."

She stared up at him in awe. "You really mean it, don't you?"

He cupped both cheeks now. "I want you for my wife. Will you marry me?"

She threw her arms around his neck. She laughed. "Oh, yes, yes! If you hadn't asked, I probably would have."

He laughed as well and started to kiss her, but someone bumped into them with a mumbled apology. Marian was jarred enough to regain an awareness of where they were. This really hadn't been the place for such a conversation. And she thought she'd recognized that voice. She turned to look, but didn't see anyone in the crowd whom she knew—and then she did and went very still.

"What's wrong?" Chad asked.

She looked back at him, her eyes wide. But then she shook her head. "Nothing. Just my imagination seeing things."

"Bridges?"

"No, it—" She didn't finish, looked down the street again, frowning. "I know I'm being silly, but let me make sure. I'll be right back."

She hurried in the direction she'd seen the man go. Chad was close behind her, but she didn't wait for him. There was just no way in hell she could be right about who she'd seen, and it would only take a moment to prove it.

She caught up with the man, tugged on his arm to stop him. "Papa?"

He turned around, gave her an annoyed look, then continued on his way, leaving her standing there in utter shock.