Chapter Thirty-three

The black wrap dress caught my eye as I scanned my closet for what to wear on my date. Going out with Porter seemed like a much better idea than starting over with someone completely new. He already knew about my stance on love, I cared about him, and he’d stuck up for me before. With him back in town, I figured he’d be someone I could spend time with when Steph was busy. In fact, I was starting to think his coming into town at the same time everything else started going wrong with Jake was a fortuitous coincidence.

My phone rang. I picked it off my nightstand and glanced at the display. Drew.

I bet he and Lisa broke up and he wants to come trolling for women. Maybe I won’t have to live alone forever.

“What’s up?” I said.

“I was thinking that tomorrow morning you and Jake might want to come get a late breakfast with Lisa and me.”

“Yeah, about that… You see, Jake and I… We’re not—”

“Don’t tell me you broke up with the only decent guy you’ve dated in years,” Drew said.

“Let’s just say, I hope you’re making enough money to find us a nice place to retire in.”

“Oh sure. I’m rolling in the dough.” Drew sighed. “So, what did you find wrong this time? Not stuck up enough? He got along with us?”

“Well, that did concern me,” I said, attempting a joke.

Silence.

I clenched my jaw, the ache I was trying to pretend didn’t exist squeezing at my heart. “Nothing, okay. He’s going to start up a restaurant in another city and be gone all the time, and I ran into Porter and—”

“I swear if you go out with that prick again, I’m disowning you. Then when it doesn’t work out—because we both know it’s not gonna—you’re going to live alone, because I’m not moving in with someone who doesn’t have any common sense.”

“You know what, Drew? I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m not good at relationships. Especially not someone like you.” Fuming, I hit the disconnect button and threw my phone on my bed. “Argh!”

Who does he think he is, telling me who I can and can’t date?

I took a few deep breaths to try to calm myself. Just forget about him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“I’m not moving in with you if you don’t have any common sense,” I said, mimicking Drew’s words. “Yeah, well, I don’t want to live with you, either. In fact, living alone forever suddenly doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.”

Porter took me to Palace Arms at the Brown Palace Hotel, the same placed he’d taken me on our first date. The first time he’d brought me there, I didn’t even know what some of the things on the menu were. No matter how many times he insisted the foie gras was amazing, I didn’t even like liver, much less duck liver.

While we ate, he told me all about his time in New York, how much his company had grown while he was there, and how he’d sold his shares so he could pursue other interests. I just sat there, soaking it all in. Feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.

After he’d finished his meal, he dropped his fork and looked at me. “I’m sorry. I’m so excited to see you that I’ve been going on and on, and you’ve hardly said a word. How’s work going?”

“I’m busy doing this commercial job for Patricia.”

“I know you get frustrated with those,” Porter said.

It was nice to skip all the stupid getting-to-know-you crap. “I’m totally frustrated. I’m passing up jobs I’d love to do because of it. Jake thinks…” My stomach dropped, and it took me a moment to recover. “Uh, I’ve been toying with the idea of going into business for myself.”

Porter steepled his hands and brought them under his chin. “It’s a bit of a risky economy right now, and Metamorphosis carries a big name.”

“I know. It’s just that Nadine and I pull in most of the clients and I hate working on jobs I dislike while Patricia treats me like I’m an idiot.”

“You’re very good at your job, and Patricia gets that. Starting a new business is hard work, but I know you’ll do whatever you put your mind to. If you need help with anything, all you have to do is let me know.”

The offer to help—and the vote of confidence—was nice, but a good way for things to get messy, since I still wasn’t sure jumping right into a relationship with him was a good idea. The fact of the matter was, I was trying to force myself to move on from Jake. I missed his voice. His cologne. Missed his sense of humor.

And I should really stop thinking about him.

I took a sip of my water. “I don’t think I’m going to do it. It’d be nice, though.”

Porter leaned forward and placed his hand on my knee. “Being here with you reminds me of all the good times we had together. I’m glad you called.”

“I bet your mother will be horrified to know you’re spending time with me again.”

“Not like your family is any better.”

Since I’d argued about it with Drew earlier, I could hardly insist he was wrong. “I just don’t know… I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

He gave a couple slow nods. “So we’re back to the place where you don’t trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. I know you, and that helps. But we’ve been apart for a while. Things have changed since then.”

“But not your opinion that relationships don’t last.”

“Not really.” I twisted the stem of my glass in my fingers. “You only helped prove it when you left. Not that I don’t understand. You did what you had to do for your career.”

Porter put his hand over the glass, stopping its motion and causing me to look up at him. “But I asked you to come with me.”

“You asked me to uproot my whole life—to leave my job, family, and friends—to try and make it work in an unfamiliar city, when I knew you’d be busy with your job all the time. And the way you laid it out made it seem like you didn’t really care either way.”

“If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have asked you to move halfway across the country with me. I knew if I pushed too hard, you’d shut down. That’s what you always did when I tried to get serious about us.” His eyes bored into mine, and a flicker of hurt went through them. “I thought I’d finally broken through to you enough that you’d consider moving to New York with me.”

“I did consider it. Then reality set in.” I almost didn’t say anything else, but I couldn’t let it go. “What’s to keep you from going back to New York? Or to another city?”

“I hope I’m looking at her.”

My stomach climbed into my throat. As usual, Porter was so certain, already throwing himself all in, when I was feeling like I was betraying Jake by being here, even after he’d dumped me.

Maybe if I’d gone after him, though…

I should’ve gone after him.

Porter scooted so close our knees bumped. “New York wasn’t for me. Too crowded, too busy. Too many people but not the right one. I didn’t realize exactly what it was until I got back. Then I saw you again, and all the pieces clicked into place. I never stopped loving you, Darby. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”

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