Cinderella Screwed Me Over

Chapter Eight

You know what I was not doing as I scrubbed my bathroom floor Saturday morning? Singing. The only thing coming from my mouth as I scoured that brown crap between the tiles was a stream of profanities. Not exactly princess behavior, but as I’ve mentioned, I’m no princess, and the guys I’ve dated are far from princes—evidently I have trouble identifying the good guys and end up picking ones who’ll hurt me.

Sometimes I wonder if my dating life would’ve gone differently had my first boyfriend not ended up being a huge jerk. That boy taught me a big life lesson about trust. Apparently not enough to keep from making several mistakes, but he taught me that not everyone is as great as they seem.

Snow White Case Study: Sherman/The Prince

My Age: 17

In order to get the full effect of why and how things happened with Sherman, I need to go back to when I was thirteen and my entire life was uprooted.

Mom and Dad had been divorced for three years when Mom met Dwight. After four months of dating, he proposed. Six months later, they got married, and I suddenly gained a stepdad and twin stepbrothers. Mom and I moved from Aurora to Dwight’s ranch in Longmont. Even though it was only an hour drive away, it felt like moving countries.

The entire summer before my freshman year, Drew and Devin tortured me. They called me a baby for still watching Disney movies, pointed out when I got zits, and used my clothes and bedding to line the horse pens for reasons I still don’t understand. And everything I did was “like a girl.” I threw like a girl, talked like a girl, cried like a girl, dressed like a girl. They spat it out like the biggest insult, and I took it as one. I don’t know why. Because after all, I was a girl.

Mom assured me life would get better—that I’d meet lots of new friends when school started.

Then school started.

Everyone hated me. I was going through this phase where I was all knees and elbows, with string-bean legs up to my neck. The other students made fun of my clothes even though they were wearing trends from three years ago. At the time, finding pants to fit my long legs was impossible, meaning I got asked when the flood was coming on a regular basis.

Two months into the school year, I couldn’t take it anymore. I missed my old life and my old friends. I parked myself at a table in the back of the school cafeteria, looked at the food on my plate, and started crying. I hoped no one would notice.

No such luck.

Drew and Devin sat down next to me, apparently sensing weakness and preparing to attack. I was just waiting for them to tell me what I was doing like a girl now.

Ross, the leader of the popular boys, walked by, stuck his thumb up and said, “Nice high-waters, dummy.”

Instead of Darby, some jokester had decided to start calling me dummy. It caught like wildfire.

Devin stood up, double-fisted Ross’s shirt, and slammed him against the wall. “Apologize to Darby.”

“Uh…s-s-sorry, Darby,” Ross said.

Drew stood on the other side of him and jabbed a finger into his chest. “You tell everyone you know that making fun of Darby means getting your ass kicked by Devin and me. And never, ever call her dummy again.”

Drew smacked the back of Ross’s head with his open palm. “Got it, dummy?”

“I got it,” Ross said.

Devin released him, he hurried off, and then my stepbrothers came and sat back down by me.

I stared at Devin and Drew in shock. “But…why did you do that?”

“Do you want him to call you that?” Devin asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

“We’re family now,” Drew said. “And families stick together.”

At the end of lunch, Devin ran a hand over my head, mussing my hair. “Later, you girl.”

After that, Devin, Drew, and their five friends sat by me in the lunchroom; Ross and his gang never picked on me again. There was still a group of snotty girls that made life hell, but I couldn’t exactly ask my brothers to beat them up for me.

Most days after school, I hung out with the guys. They were far from dwarfs—in fact most of them towered over me—but they were my group. My seven giants. Thinking of going home and being able to ride my horse or hang with the guys, I knew I could make it through the day of school.

Nothing much changed over the next few years. I was never what you’d call popular, and when I went out, it was with my seven giants.

The first day of my junior year, I was feeling pretty good about life. I’d finally stopped growing, filled out a little bit, and Mom had taken me to a store in Denver and bought pants that fit me perfectly. The poofy, big-bang hairdos weren’t in anymore, so my straight, blond hair wasn’t as out of place.

Tabitha Newton walked up to me as I was loading school supplies into my locker. Since she’d made no secret of her hatred for me, I was surprised when she didn’t immediately insult me.

“Hi, Darby,” she said.

I stared for a few seconds before responding. “Hi.”

Tabitha ran a hand through her hair. She’d gotten “The Rachel” cut over the summer and had chunky blond highlights running through it. “You should try out for cheerleading.”

Because the cheerleaders made no secret of the fact that they didn’t like me, trying out had never crossed my mind. But it did have a certain allure. “Sure. Maybe.”

“Let’s see how you’d do on a pyramid.” Tabitha shoved me.

Someone had set up behind me on her hands and knees—I believe they call it a tabletop—and I toppled backward over her body.

Tabitha’s face floated above me. “Looks like you failed.” She and her friend giggled and walked off.

That’s what you get for trusting the biggest witch in school, I thought as I lay there, not wanting to deal with life.

A hand extended toward me. It was no True Love’s Kiss, but it got me on my feet again. He had shaggy, brown hair, and tan, I-spend-lots-of-time-outdoors skin.

“Thanks.” I didn’t recognize him, and I would remember a face like that. “Are you new?”

“Just moved in. I’m Sherman.” He shook his head. “Don’t ask about the name. It was my granddad’s and now I’m lucky enough to have it.”

“My name’s Darby, so I completely understand.”

“Actually, I think Darby’s a cute name.” He tapped my nose. “It fits.”

This was the kind of guy I’d been dreaming about.

Two days later, when Sherman and I were sitting outside after lunch, he kissed me. I’d been anticipating my first kiss for a long time, and it didn’t disappoint. After that, the kissing increased at steady intervals. So did his roving hands. He wanted to take things fast; I wanted to take it slow. I didn’t want to lose him, so I kept asking him to be patient.

Around our three-month anniversary, Sherman and I had plans to go to a party out by Burch Lake. Unfortunately, the school had called to talk to Mom earlier that day. The secretary had asked why I was always late for class. (Sherman and I often snuck outside for a few uninterrupted minutes of kissing, but I wasn’t about to tell her that.)

I sat, sulking in the kitchen, thinking about how unfair life was when Drew, Devin, and the rest of the guys came in.

“You need a ride to the party?” Devin asked.

I stared at the back of Mom’s head. “My mom thinks I’ve been spending too much time with Sherman.”

“We can take her with us, Janet,” Drew said. “We’ll make sure she and Sherman stay in sight at all times. In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to that kid anyway.”

Mom sighed. “Fine. Don’t you let her get into trouble, or there’ll be heck to pay.”

Mom didn’t believe in swearing, and even using “heck” was pretty colorful for her.

“Understood,” Devin said.

My entourage and I squished into Devin’s quad-cab Dodge and headed to the party. The second we got there, I scanned the place for Sherman. Every night away from him was like torture.

Then, I spotted him.

Making out with Tabitha Newton.

I didn’t know what to do; I’d never been in a relationship before. The two of them were sitting on Sherman’s open tailgate, feeling each other up, even though people were nearby. Tabitha pulled her mouth off Sherman’s to catch a breath. When she looked up, her eyes met mine. She flashed an evil grin before going in for round two.

You’d think I’d charge over there and yell or slap him or do something. Anything. Instead, I stood there frozen, watching my boyfriend—I’d thought he was my boyfriend, anyway—make out with the witch. My eyes burned as tears formed; a sharp pain shot through my chest.

“Did you find Sherman yet?” Gil, the nicest of my brothers’ friends, asked. He must’ve seen what I was staring at then, because he said, “Oh. Darby, I’m sorry.”

When Sherman and Tabitha broke apart again, Ross tapped Sherman on the shoulder and pointed at me. Sherman slowly stood and walked over.

“How could you?” I asked as a few tears escaped and ran down my cheeks.

“We never said we were exclusive,” Sherman said. “Did you think we were?”

“Of course I did.” I leaned in and whispered, “You were trying to get me to have sex with you. I wouldn’t do that with someone I thought was going to shove his tongue down Tabitha’s throat.”

Sherman shrugged. “What can I say? You snooze you lose.”

Gil grabbed my hand. “This guy’s a loser. You don’t need him.” He pulled me away from Sherman and the crowd that had gathered to watch the drama.

I just caught the sight of Devin approaching Sherman. He yelled something at him and shoved him, hard enough my boyfriend—er, ex-boyfriend—went down on his butt.

Then the guys and I were back in the truck headed home, me fighting tears and losing. The stupid thing was, even after all of that, I couldn’t stop wondering if Sherman would call and apologize so we could go back to the happy couple we used to be.

Time Wasted: Three months

Lessons Learned:

Tabitha Newton truly was the biggest witch in school.

Some guys are only about one thing.

Charming boys are dangerous.

Assuming does, in fact, make an ass out of U and Me. But mostly just him.

…

I answered the door and invited Jake inside. “I’ve got to throw on some jewelry, so have a seat, or look around or whatever.” I gripped his arm just below the elbow and said in my most serious voice, “No matter what you do, though, don’t look in the hall closet. That’s where I keep all my skeletons.”

I walked back to my bedroom, wondering how long it’d take him to open the closet. Last night when Jake and I had discussed when and where we were going to go on our half date, we’d found out that we both were planning on attending the same charity function. Nadine and I had worked on Mr. and Mrs. Hammond’s houses—that’s right, plural. Virginia Hammond had a soft spot for me and insisted I come to all her social events. She’d actually called the office yesterday afternoon to double-check I’d be attending the Hammond’s Children’s Hospital fund-raiser.

I stuck in my chandelier earrings and slipped into my purple stilettos. When I came out of the bedroom, Jake wasn’t looking in the closet; he was looking at the plant I had on the window ledge.

Jake poked one of the brown, crispy blades. “I like that you keep this plant, even though it’s dead.”

“It’s not dead. Malnourished maybe, but look at that leaf.” I pointed to the green one in the middle.

“Okay, so in the middle of all the brown, dried-up leaves, there’s a single struggling one.”

“As long as he’s still trying, I’ll keep watering him. When I occasionally remember to.” I turned my attention from the plant to Jake. A lot of guys wore suits a size or two too big, but his was tailored to his body, the black simple yet striking, and for a moment I forgot that I needed to make a point before we left. “By the way, my boss is going to be there tonight, so we need to keep things low-key.”

“Hmm. That’s going to mess with my plans to steal the microphone and sing karaoke for you. I was going to do a big dedication and everything.” One of Jake’s dark eyebrows cocked up. “How do you feel about Journey?”

My earrings rattled together as I shook my head. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“Meatloaf it is.”

What escaped my lips could only be described as a giggle. We hadn’t even started our almost-date and I was already giggling.

Pull it together, I told myself, but I wasn’t going to freak out, either. I had this situation totally under control.

I opened the hall closet, picked my keys off the hook inside, and threw them in my purse.

Jake put his hand on my back and looked past me into the closet. “Those skeletons don’t look too bad. Nothing I can’t handle.”

I closed the door. “I keep the really scary ones in a different closet.”

Jake offered me his arm. “Ready?”

All day I’d thought about this. There had to be a happy medium. I didn’t want to stay away from him anymore, and we had a good time together. I can do this. All I gotta do is relax and enjoy the night. No pressure, no strings attached.

I didn’t sit and type up all my case studies just to get burned again for the same stupid thing. I’d broken the rules before, and I always paid for it in the end.

I ignored his arm and pulled open my door. “Ready.”

…

I’d circled the room a couple times, talked shop with Patricia—due to all the champagne she’d had, she was friendlier than usual, though she managed to insinuate I was slacking on the Seventh Street job she’d told me she wanted to take point on—and said hi to a few clients. Virginia was always recommending me to people, so I’d also done some networking. Jake seemed to know everyone, too, and I’d lost him somewhere along the way.

The orchestra played in the corner of the room, there was a large area in the middle for dancing, and couples swirled around the floor. Tables draped in white tablecloths dotted the edges of the room. Sweet peas filled the vases in the centers, scenting the air. During dinner they’d had the keynote speaker, people had pledged lots of money to the hospital, and now everyone was up enjoying their evening. It was about as close to a ball as I’d ever been to.

Virginia came up and put a hand on my shoulder. She had on a black-and-white dress and was wearing her signature string of pearls. “Darby, honey, you simply must meet this man. He’s handsome, successful, and perfect for you in every way.”

I looked around the room, trying to find Jake. The place was packed, making it hard to find him in the crowd. “Thank you, but actually I—”

“I won’t take no for an answer.” Virginia gave my arm a gentle tug. “You at least have to allow me to introduce him. If after a few minutes you’re not completely intrigued, I’ll let you make an excuse to take your leave of us.”

I’d learned that when it came to Virginia, it was easier to go along than to argue, so I allowed myself to be led away to what was sure to be an awkward encounter with a boring, self-centered, but oh-so-handsome-and-successful man. They were Virginia’s specialty.

A woman with a familiar face I couldn’t put a name to waved as I walked by. I waved back, trying to recall how I knew her.

“Here he is!” Virginia said. I peeled my eyes away from the mystery lady to meet the guy she was sure I’d be intrigued by. “Darby Quinn, I’d like you to meet Jake Knight. This charming young man has been a lifesaver.” Virginia gestured to me. “Darby is a very successful interior designer. She transformed my places into the most beautiful works of art. And look at her! I’m sure you’ll agree she is lovely.”

“I definitely agree.” Jake stepped next to me and slid his arm around my waist. “In fact, I thought she was so lovely, I asked her to accompany me here tonight. She tried to resist, but as you pointed out, I’m just so charming.”

Virginia put both hands over her heart as she stared at us. “I simply knew you two would hit it off. I’m so glad to see that you’re together.”

I shook my head. “Oh, we’re not—”

“Thank you,” Jake said, dropping his arm from my waist and taking my hand. “Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll steal her away for a dance.”

He led me to the dance floor, we assumed the formal position, and then we were twirling around the floor with the rest of the couples.

“Your last name is Knight?” I asked.

“Is something wrong with that?”

“No.” Just that I’m anti-fairy tales and you’re a Knight. It’s not ironic at all. “Your dancing skills are rather impressive.”

Jake spun me out and brought me back in. “I’ve had to attend functions like this for a long time. My parents were on the board of everything. Still are, actually.”

I wanted to ask more about his family. From the sounds of it, he’d probably always had a trust fund, which most girls would’ve swooned over. But since I’d learned the value of hard work, I found most guys born with silver spoons were lazy. Jake managed a restaurant, though, which I assumed wasn’t easy.

Jake slid his arm tighter around me, pulling me close enough I was pressed against his firm body. My heart rate screamed into the danger zone, and with how close we were, I was sure he could feel it thumping against his chest. And speaking of chests, I wanted to relax fully into the dance and lean my head against his. I wanted to close my eyes and melt into the perfect moment before it ended.

He tilted his head, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Hmm. I kind of expected you to try to take the lead.”

“Do I seem like the type of girl who can’t follow simple dance moves?” I was relieved my voice didn’t come out as breathless as I suddenly felt.

“Not can’t.” That butterfly-inducing grin spread across his face. “More like won’t.”

I did my best to act unaffected, lifting my chin and throwing in a touch of haughtiness. “Well, if you didn’t already know how to dance, I would go ahead and take the lead. But since you’re doing a good job, you can have it.” I moved my hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck, a thrill shooting through me when he swallowed hard. “For now.”

…

The elevator doors slid open, and Jake stepped off with me instead of riding up to his floor.

Now, I know I’ve gone on and on about how I don’t believe two people can work out, but I am not into one-night stands, flings, or meaningless trysts either. Some girls claim they can do it, and maybe they can. One of my former coworkers claimed she could and then she’d cry when a week had gone by and the guy didn’t call. So, I’m sure you’re asking the same question I’ve asked myself: If you don’t believe in relationships or flings, what do you believe in?

I wasn’t exactly sure. What’s between monogamy and promiscuity? The basic idea was to have a string of semi-long-term, low-risk relationships. Like serial monogamy. I know it sounds impossible, but I was still working on it. All I knew was unavoidable daily awkwardness was something I wanted to stay far, far away from.

Yet Jake possessed a certain je ne sais quoi. And I’d had more fun with him tonight than I’d had in a long time.

Don’t even think about it, Darby. You see him every day. You eat at Blue all the time. Friends is the way to go.

I probably shouldn’t have flirted with him all night, then.

Or pressed my body against his. Heat wound through my core just thinking about it. And if he can dance like that… My heart jolted and my pulse pounded. Man, it’d been a long time since I’d even kissed a guy.

Remember the rules. Stick to the rules.

Shaking off the memory of how his firm body felt next to mine, I dug into my purse and took out my keys. I unlocked the door, then twisted around to end the date. “I had a good—”

Jake’s lips cut me off before I could go into why it was probably for the best if we didn’t go out again. It was a quick, chaste kiss, over before I had a chance to latch onto it, but it still sent a spike of electricity through me. He stepped away, said good night, and then headed back toward the elevator.

No words came out as I watched him. The farther he got, the stupider it seemed to yell out a good-bye. So I walked into my condo and locked the door behind me.

Well, that was about the worst preemptive breakup speech I’ve ever given.