Empower

Chapter 6

‘How well it suits all men, on the subject of chaos, to say that it is a kind of darkness!’

The Nag Hammadi

I recognised the jet the moment I caught sight of its sleek black wings.

‘Who managed this?’ I asked suspiciously as the three of us stood on the tarmac, bags at our feet, waiting to board.

Onyx snorted. ‘Do you really think we could steal a jet from under that tyrant’s nose?’

I frowned, watching as the door opened and the stairs came down. ‘You failed to mention she knew I was coming.’

He rolled his eyes. ‘I try to ignore her existence altogether. How else did you think you’d be getting through the front door?’

Actually I’d had a similar plan myself. They just didn’t realise that I still had direct contact with the Vice of the Assembly.

‘Who are you talking about?’ Gray asked from beside me.

‘Josephine,’ I answered, mixed feelings always rising to the surface when thinking of her. We’d started off on the wrong foot. She’d done everything in her power to stop me from being accepted into the Academy and the general Grigori community. In the end she’d changed her mind and the Assembly had voted again, this time in my favour – but by then it was a case of bridges burned and lives forever changed.

Though I would never say it out loud, there was a part of me that respected her. She did the things she did because of her commitment to her position on the Assembly. The problem was she was relentless with her demands and egotistical. Once Josephine decided on something, there was no swaying her or standing in her path, which was a problem, considering she was wrong as often as she appeared to be right. And that limited my respect for her.

‘That bitch from Santorini?’ Gray spat, looking like he was ready to get back in the taxi and head home.

‘Yep.’

He pulled out his phone and started to tap away.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked.

‘Putting a team on standby in New York. Last time I saw that cow she tried to lock me up.’

There were a few reasons Gray refused to deal with the New York Academy, but Josephine was the main one.

‘You too?’ I asked, my tone lightening.

Gray scowled at me. Rogues took their freedom very seriously.

‘She still wants me behind bars,’ Onyx said dryly from my other side.

I couldn’t hold back a small smile, surprised how easy it was to slip into old habits with Onyx around.

Gray, still unhappy, eyed me suspiciously. ‘And why would she give you a ticket in?’

Yeah. Gray was good at what he did.

I followed Onyx up the steps of the jet and looked back at Gray, contemplating how much I wanted to give away. ‘We stayed in contact after …’

‘After you bailed on everyone?’ Onyx offered eagerly.

I shot him a glare and tossed him my bag to stow.

He caught it with a grunt and smiled. ‘Good thing we were able to avoid the metal detectors,’ he said, the tell-tale clinking sounds of its contents clear as he hauled the bag into one of the overhead compartments.

‘Somehow she got my mobile number,’ I explained to Gray as he followed me aboard. ‘She’s the one who sends me jobs from time to time. If I’m not working on something else, I take them.’

This interested Gray. He realised some of the jobs I’d brought him and the other guys in on must have been for the Academy, too. I worried briefly that he’d be offended that he’d inadvertently worked for Josephine, but he just said, ‘She thinks highly of you, then?’

I shrugged, taking a seat at the back of the jet, from where I could see everything. ‘More like she figures I can get the job done. Either way I’m dispensable.’

Putting his bag away in the same overhead compartment Gray smiled, satisfied with my way of thinking. Neither of us was easily fooled. ‘Does anyone else know about your arrangement with her?’ he continued.

‘No. And I want to keep it that way,’ I answered, eyeing Onyx.

Onyx’s smile widened. ‘I give you my word, I will only tell two … three people at most.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘You haven’t matured at all, I see.’

‘Whereas you look decidedly aged,’ he quipped.

If he thought that was going to upset me, he was wrong. I was pleased that the past two years showed in my appearance. I would turn twenty in a couple of months and it was only a matter of time before things in the ageing department slowed to non-existent. The last thing I’d wanted was to spend the next ten years looking like a teenager. I caught my reflection in the plane window as we took off. Yes, I did look older. I was slimmer, my cheekbones more defined. My eyes, still lacklustre hazel, betrayed having seen more than they should though I didn’t look into them for long.

There was no doubt I was stronger, leaner and had changed in many other ways. I glanced at the reflection of my long dark hair, pulled back in a tight ponytail. It wasn’t practical. And when my life had become about little more than training and hunting, I knew it would be the logical step to chop it off, but … I hadn’t.

Because he always liked it long.

I shut down my runaway thoughts and refocused by planning how to spend the flight. The first half I decided to dedicate to drilling Onyx for every last detail he had about Spence’s mission and whereabouts. Mostly, I wanted to know more about his partner, Chloe. We’d only met that one time. Even Spence hadn’t known where I was living. Not because I didn’t trust him to keep it a secret, but because I didn’t want him to carry those kinds of secrets for me. It was hard enough asking it of Steph.

Keeping it from Griffin and Dapper, who I knew had been hurt by my leaving the city without explaining myself, was one thing but Lincoln … he was one of Spence’s best friends.

Steph and I never spoke about Lincoln. She knew I couldn’t. But I knew that after I’d left he had been hard on her on the few occasions he’d seen her. It had reached the point where Salvatore had had to step in. Words had been exchanged. With fists.

I couldn’t bear to let the same thing happen between Lincoln and Spence. It wouldn’t be fair. Lincoln deserved to know that Spence could always be honest with him.

The one time we’d managed to meet, Steph had taken care of everything to coincide with one of Spence and Chloe’s Academy assignments in Prague. We’d had lunch at a hidden-away restaurant in Old Town and I’d been intrigued to finally meet Spence’s partner. It became obvious that Chloe was daunted by the world she was now a part of, but I could understand that. She’d seemed strong in her own way and happy to follow Spence’s lead. I could tell instantly that Spence was protective of her in that way that Grigori partners are – on a platonic yet deep and uncompromising level.

The one at which Lincoln and I had epically failed to remain.

Chloe had watched me cautiously and with fascination. I had wondered fleetingly if she was jealous of the obvious connection Spence and I shared, which in many ways reflected a Grigori partnership, but I quickly discovered she was simply too kind of heart to be that negative.

All in all, I’d liked her. And she had respected my privacy, not asking about all the rumours: that I am the only Grigori made by a Sole angel; that my abilities are more angelic than Grigori; that I can walk with angels. Hell, I’d even been told by a Rogue – who had no idea he was talking to the very subject of his gossip – that I was the second coming, and that I would be the great weapon of Hell. Even I still didn’t know what I was. But he’d been right to call me a weapon. That much I knew was true.

Onyx, though strangely uncomfortable when it came to the subject of Chloe, wasn’t able to shed much more light on the matter, other than confirming what Spence had implied in his letter.

‘She sees the good in everyone,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Even exiles. Spence worries that she isn’t cut out for this life.’

The second part of the flight was spent with my eyes closed, rebuilding my walls and locking down all my emotions in the place that no one can reach.

Gray’s talents had been my saving grace. Rogues tended to work with their defences at a higher level than the Academy Grigori. They had to; most Rogues were partnerless, whether by circumstance or choice. They didn’t have someone on constant standby to supercharge their naturally enhanced healing abilities. But when Gray was dumped on the island of Santorini a few years back – another story he’d refused to share – and was forced to survive alongside the very powerful exile Irin and his Nephlim children, he’d taken Rogue strength to new heights.

He’d taught himself how to completely shut down the senses and become undetectable to exiles. It wasn’t something Academy Grigori had ever thought to do, since our outward senses alerted us to exile presence as well. But thanks to Gray, I had learned the skill and discovered its many benefits. It helped keep me hidden, but it also worked like a glue of sorts, holding me together when the coldness tried to tear me apart from the inside.

In my efforts to meditate, I drifted off to sleep.

Trumpets sounded. The thunder of hooves rampaged. Thousands of horses – all white – charged towards the terrifying dragon.

The scaled beast’s roar was deafening, its spiked wings spanning football fields. It was ferocious and intent on causing maximum devastation.

As the dragon carved its way through legions of warriors mounted on valiant stallions, it cleared a path for the angel who commanded them all. The power the beast exuded was tremendous, thickening the air and making my lungs constrict. Warriors fell. Horses staggered to their knees and rolled. Blood spilled and cries of agony rippled through the almost tangible atmosphere.

I strained to see, my vision darting back and forth between the angel and the dragon. Just as the way cleared, I gasped.

I bolted upright so quickly I tipped out of my seat and onto my knees. I leaped to my feet and made my way to the bathroom, where I scooped cold water onto my face.

A dream. It had been a dream. A very real, very disturbing dream. The same as the ones I’d been having for the past two weeks. And, more troubling, the same as the flash vision I’d experienced in the meat market.

All was quiet in the hour or so before we landed. Gray was asleep and I presumed Onyx was too. I paced up and down the centre aisle, releasing a few shaky breaths, fighting the ghosts of my past.

When I passed Onyx he spoke quietly, startling me. ‘You’ve changed.’

I kept pacing. ‘Yes.’ I swallowed. ‘I had to.’

‘Me too.’ His response surprised me, stopping me in my tracks.

‘I’m not sorry, Onyx,’ I said, softly. ‘A part of me will always carry the guilt of taking your choices from you and making you human, but if I hadn’t you would’ve …’

He nodded, sadly, showing me a truth in his eyes I’d never glimpsed before. ‘I would’ve killed you and done untold things of horror.’ He took a deep breath. ‘They’re not all bad, you know, angels malign – it’s not that they’re evil; they just see the value in the negative. Without it there is very little way to gauge the positive. As you know, for exiles – whether light or dark – clarity is not theirs. Everything – envy, greed, hatred, anger – it’s all heightened. Exiles feel immense power and are driven by immense desire to simply act and effect change to their liking. It’s their reality, and for them, it’s addictive.’

I nodded, understanding as best as I could. I noticed that Onyx referred to exiles as ‘they’, no longer including himself in the same category.

Insanity and power are a perilous combination, which was why exiles of light were no better. The answer was always power and force, the solution always their own; and when they were in human form, that meant some form of physical violence.

‘I still struggle within the confines of an only-human body,’ Onyx went on. ‘But that’s not all you forced on me.’

I looked down, waiting for whatever nail he was going to drive in.

‘You gave me clarity.’

I glanced up and he shrugged.

‘Such a simple thing. It took months for it to finally settle and then even more time to come to terms with what I had become. Pride is brutal when stripped, whether it be from angel, exile or human. But it is also a gift when needed.’

I listened, dumbstruck by his confession.

‘I’m not exactly sure what I am now,’ he mused. ‘I have an eternity of patchy memories, an inherent darkness that will never leave and, though I am mostly human, I am uniquely aware of what is not. And I have clarity. For the first time I have someone … I have people I would stand beside and fight with – not for my own purposes, but for theirs – because I choose to.’ Onyx looked into my eyes for a moment and, I was suddenly certain, saw too much. ‘Dare I say, because of you, I have come the closest in my existence to being … part of a family.’ His voice caught on the last word. ‘So,’ he straightened, clearing his throat. ‘No. No apology required.’

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Onyx really has changed.

After a few stunned beats, I nodded. ‘Thank you.’

His smile turned fiendish, and decidedly more familiar. ‘No. Thank you. I can barely wait to get you to New York. I’d sell tickets to the event if I were willing to give up my front-row seat.’

‘And what event would that be?’ I asked, crossing my arms.

‘Oh, come on. You and Lincoln in a room together? Soulmates. Once joined and now parted. Why, your story will be one for the new-age bible – the cautionary tale of dos and don’ts and the tragedy that lies between. No doubt we are headed for the greatest Chapter yet.’

I shook my head. ‘Sorry to disappoint. I’m going to get Spence and that’s it. I’ll be in and out, job done before there is any time for anything else.’

Onyx chuckled. ‘Still deluding yourself, I see. Fabulous!’

When we touched down I sent Josephine a text:

At JFK. Thanks for the ride.

Can I trust you to keep this to yourself?

Her response was immediate:

I won’t tell a soul. But don’t fool yourself.

He will find out.

I sighed as I read her message, looking up to see Gray watching me carefully.

‘Are you going to tell me why I’m coming along?’ he asked.

He’d known it was important. And I knew he could smell a good fight ahead, so he’d come along, no questions asked, up until this point.

‘Back-up,’ I answered. ‘I never know what to expect from Josephine and I need someone who is definitely on my team.’

Gray nodded, understanding.

‘And …’

‘Yes?’ Gray raised his eyebrows.

‘I need you to help me keep my guards up.’

Gray studied me for a moment. ‘He’s going to be there?’

I nodded. ‘And I can’t let my walls down. Not even for a moment.’ I held his gaze, needing him to understand. It wasn’t why Gray had trained me for these past ten months; that had been to help me fight so I could get close to exiles and remain hidden. But it had had a two-fold effect, which I imagined he’d suspected: it had also helped me block my connection to Lincoln. So much so that Lincoln had suddenly stopped tracking me. He’d always stayed close, pursuing me relentlessly, and then one day, when I was getting ready to bail on London … it all just stopped.

If I wanted to have any chance of surviving while being in his proximity now, I’d need to keep my walls up – I couldn’t imagine what might happen if they were to come down. In many ways, Gray had taught me how to cage my soul.

‘You’re headed for trouble, Violet. You won’t be able to control it twenty-four seven, especially at night.’ He gave me a loaded look.

I didn’t need to think further than last night to know what he meant. As Phoenix had explained, the time between rest and sleep was when my guards faltered. A definite problem.

I turned to Onyx. ‘Any chance you have somewhere we can stay?’

Onyx, who’d been watching, enraptured, grinned. ‘I have the perfect place.’

It was late evening and stepping out of the car outside the Academy buildings felt strange. I couldn’t help but remember the first time I’d arrived there. How different my view of the world, and of life, had been then. Manhattan, such a densely exile-populated city, had completely overwhelmed my angelic senses.

I pushed down the immediate memories of Lincoln – how he’d kissed me in the very place I now stood; they way he’d taken the burden of the senses from me and released them. I still had all five, not that I openly shared that information. It was just one more thing I knew I might never understand.

At least now, thanks to Gray’s help, they were muted. I registered the flavour of apple on my tongue, the sounds of birds crashing into trees. I smelled flowers, the fragrance so mixed it was as though I was in a city-sized florist, but without being overwhelming. Not even when the contradictdory sensations of ice and heat ran through my bones and blood, or when the images of morning and evening played in my peripheral vision was I taken away from myself.

I felt a boost of confidence. Yes. I could do this. I was stronger than ever. I was faster. I had more weapons. More control. And stronger defences. My powers in every way had developed.

And Onyx was right – I was most definitely not the girl I had been.