Falling

6

Walking through the back stockroom, I ask Mel, “Hey, have you seen Max or Michael?”

“Michael left a couple hours ago, and last I saw, Max was out back talking to Traci,” she tells me as she loads her arms with a case of beer, almost dropping it.

“Here. Give that to me,” I say, taking the heavy case from her. She follows me as I walk out and set the beer on the bar top. The place is starting to fill up. The band that Chase had recommended played here last week and really drew in a crowd. I went ahead and booked them again for tonight, and he wasn’t kidding when he said they were well-known around here.

I help Mel behind the bar, stocking the beer while she serves customers. When I catch Max heading to the front door, I shout, “Hey, Max!”

“What’s up?”

“You seen the guys yet?” I ask.

“Chasten is here, but I’m not sure about the others. Everything cool?”

“Yeah, if you see them before I do, tell them I need to talk with them before they go on tonight.”

“Got it,” he responds as he turns to head out to work the door.

I need to snag this band while I can. Getting them in a contract will alleviate the hassle of trying to book bands week after week. The guys seem pretty cool from what I got to know of them last week, which wasn’t a whole lot aside from the guitarist, Mark. He stayed late that night, drinking and bullshitting with me and Gavin after he was done playing.

Gavin tried leeching some chick on him but got a good laugh when he found out that his hard work with the girl went down the shitter when Mark told him he was gay. The look of disappointment, that he wouldn’t have another wingman, was something I selfishly took pleasure in.

He’s been on my case lately since I ditched him a couple of times this week. I haven’t been in the mood to go out just to find someone to use simply to make myself feel better. Ever since I saw that girl being attacked a couple weeks ago, it feels wrong.

“You got everything covered, Mel?”

“Yeah, Ry. I’m good,” she says, and I start making my way to the back.

I spot Chasten and Mark talking and announce, “Hey, guys, can you get the others and meet me in my office real quick?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Mark says and then introduces me, “Ryan, this is Jase, the guy I was telling you about.”

“Jase, man, good to meet you,” I say as I reach out to shake his hand.

“Yeah, same here,” he responds with a note of hesitation, but I don’t stick around ‘cause I’ve gotta get up to my office to talk with everyone. “I’ll catch up with you later, man.”

“Sounds good,” he says.

Once all the guys are in my office, I offer, “What do you guys think about making this gig a steady one?”

“You serious?” Aiden, the front vocalist, says.

“Yeah. I’m not gonna bullshit you guys. Finding bands is a bitch, so if you’re in at a ten percent pay increase, all you have to do is sign this simple contract and we’re good.”

I take the contract and hand it over to Aiden, who reads through it first and confirms, “I’m in,” before handing it over for the rest of the guys to read. When they are all on the same page with the agreement, they sign and call it a deal. Adding them to the payroll takes a load of stress off my back and simplifies my job even more.

When they leave to head down, I stay a little while to enter their info into our database. I write a note to Michael about the new payroll and employee additions and toss it on his desk before heading down. The band is just about to start playing when I make my way over to the bar and see Jase.

“Jase.” I move to stand next to him, leaning my elbows on the bar top. “You ever been here before?”

“Yeah. This crowd is a bit insane though,” he replies.

Watching Mel hand him his beer, I tell her, “Don’t bother with a tab, Mel.”

“Thanks, man,” he says as he turns to me.

“No problem.”

The music starts blasting through the bar when I say, “Your guy’s band is fuckin’ popular. They brought in a huge crowd last time they played here as well.”

He keeps his focus on the stage, not responding, so I leave it and ask, “You go to school together?”

“Yeah,” he hollers over the music. “We’re in the same major.”

“And what’s that?”

“Architecture.”

“That’s cool,” I say and then turn to yell for Mel to grab me a beer.

“Ryan! Fuck, man!” I hear Gavin shout with irritation from behind me.

I turn and question, “What?”

“That chick you flung on me last night was a fuckin’ psycho.”

Ignoring his complaint, I turn to Jase and say, “Jase, this is my dick of a friend, Gavin.”

“What the fuck ever,” Gavin says as he laughs. He looks to Jase and warns, “Watch out for this dipshit, and don’t let him hook you up with anyone. His matchmaking skills suck balls.”

“Find your own ass, Gav. I’m not your fuckin’ hookup,” I let him know because I’m not into his game tonight.

“Not anymore. What the hell has happened to you lately?”

“Nothing. Just sick of wasting my time.”

I take a swig of my beer while Gavin tells Jase that I’ve been acting like a pussy, so I clip him and say, “Don’t waste your time buddying up with Jase.”

“Sad. I guess it’s just me trying to get laid, huh?”

“Sorry. Looks like it,” Jase tells him, laughing.

“Are these the same guys that played here last week?” Gavin questions.

“Yeah, they’re gonna be playing here every Saturday now. They just signed a contract earlier.”

“They looking for a label?”

“Ask this guy. I have no clue,” I say as I tip the neck of my bottle towards Jase.

“You know them?” he asks Jase.

“Yeah, but I dunno,” Jase responds. “I only know Mark and just met the drummer.”

“This is Mark’s guy,” I tell Gavin.

He gives me a nod then says to Jase, “Yeah, I met Mark the other day. Cool guy.”

I turn away from them and spot annoyance. Gina. She’s here. I don’t even say anything when I walk away and head toward her to see why she’s here. She texted me the other day, but I ignored it. So seeing her here, when she knows this is my bar, winds me up a bit.

Weaving through all the people, I see her turn and spot me. Her smile grows along with my irritation.

“Hey, you,” she says as she slides herself up next to me.

“What are you doing here, Gina?”

“Just wanted to see what you were up to,” she flirts as she runs her hand down my stomach, straight towards my pants.

I grab her wrist and stop her, snapping, “If I were up to anything that had to do with you, you would know about it. You being here is just desperate.” I suddenly feel like crap for my harsh words. But part of me, the big part of me that used to use people like I used her, pangs with regret.

She doesn’t respond, and I know I just humiliated her, so I let go of her wrist and say, “Look, I’m sorry. I’m a dick, I know. But I need you to leave,” before walking away and back to the bar.

“What the hell is up with you? That chick was all over your nuts,” Gavin says when I approach, knowing damn well who Gina is.

Ignoring him, I lean over the bar and holler, “Mel, I’ll be up in my office. I’ll come down later, okay?”

“Yeah, no problem, Ry,” she says as she’s mixing a drink.

Gavin catches my arm and questions, “Dude, seriously? What the hell is going on with you?”

Jerking out of his grip, I tell him, “Not in the mood.”

“You haven’t been for a couple weeks.”

“You wouldn’t get it, man,” I exhaust and then walk up to my office.

Shutting the door behind me, I flop down in the chair, and close my eyes.

“You’re the one that called 911, correct?”

“Where are they taking her?”

“You know her?”

“Is she gonna be okay?”

“Take your time. It’s important that we get a detailed account of everything that occurred. Everything you saw.”

My eyes pop open, wanting to escape the scene that keeps creeping in. The rouse of my stomach weighs heavy when realization hits. My actions, though acted out on a totally different scope, are the same as that fucker who raped that girl. We both used someone to satisfy some twisted piece of our self with completely selfish intent. I’ve used so many people just to numb the ache I feel. Fuck.

I wonder how many girls I’ve hurt. I know of one for sure. She’s downstairs, and I just made it worse after throwing my words at her. What’s wrong with me?

I’m restless. It doesn’t matter where I am, it follows me. But I need to move, so I head back down, not knowing what else to do with myself. Mel can see right through me, telling me to go home. I say a few quick words to Jase and then do as Mel says and go home.