I Want It That Way

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The rest of December flew by in a rush. I nailed the teaching aspect of my lesson plan; the kids were engaged when looking for vocabulary words in the newspaper, and nobody melted down. After that, I kept my head down and crammed for finals while also getting ready for the holidays. We got a tiny tree for the apartment and decorated one night while drinking hot mulled wine—courtesy of Angus—and hung up more lights than we really needed.

With little sleep and lots of coffee, I cruised through finals and came out with sanity intact on the other side. Afterward, I did the Christmas shopping; I hesitated over buying anything for Ty, but in the end, I got him a set of quality art pencils. On the way back to the apartment, I mailed presents to my family then wrapped the gifts I bought for my roomies and tucked them beneath the tree.

It was quite a luxury not to have anything on my plate but work for a couple of weeks, almost like a vacation. On Christmas day, we cooked an actual holiday meal, though Angus used us all like sous-chefs, telling us to open this or chop that. At three in the afternoon, we sat down to ham, baked potatoes, carrot-raisin salad and fried Brussels sprouts. For dessert, Lauren and I had made sugar cookies the day before. In lieu of fancy china, we’d bought some festive holiday party plates, mostly so we didn’t have to wash them. Some people fought with their roommates or they were indifferent to them, but I loved mine. Maybe it was because we’d all been friends for a while, but they felt like family, and at this time of year, when we couldn’t go home, it made all the difference.

“So what’re we doing Friday night?” Angus asked, as we settled in the living room to watch Christmas Vacation. The best thing about that movie was how much better it always made me feel about my own holiday plans.

“It’s Ty’s weekend,” I answered, before I considered how that sounded.

As expected, Max pounced on that. “You mean we’re in a shared-custody situation? Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have spent more quality time with you.”

“Shut up.” Normally, I’d make a crack about his love life sucking, and that was why he was so fascinated by mine, but that seemed insensitive.

“Are you just hanging out at his place again?” Lauren asked.

“He’s got something planned. Not sure what, but he told me to pack winter gear.”

“Well, that narrows it down,” Angus said.

I waved my hands at them, pretending to focus on the movie, like I hadn’t been obsessing over this surprise for weeks. Only two more days. I was on schedule for a full-day eight-hour shift tomorrow and Friday, so the other teachers could spend more time with their families. Fortunately, working kept me from becoming too impatient.

And then it was Friday. So many kids were out for the holidays that we combined into two classes. Regular lesson plans went out the window, and we mostly showed cartoons while they played. Only five of us were working: me, two other teachers, the assistant director and Louisa, who didn’t seem pleased about making kiddie lunches so soon after Christmas. Sam wasn’t at school, so Ty must be taking some vacation days and spending them with his family.

Can’t wait to see him.

I got home at half past six, waved to Lauren and Angus, and went immediately to my room to start packing. Lauren followed me back, perching on the edge of her bed to watch me dig for a down vest. Something in her expression nudged at my memory, and then I knew. This was how she looked when she wasn’t sure how I’d react.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

None of my cajoling got her to talk. Eventually, she just said, “Have fun, okay?”

Bemused, I nodded, and she went back to the living room. I had the feeling she wanted to have a heart-to-heart, but maybe now wasn’t the time. I set out my best pair of winter boots and packed a spare set, just in case. Jeans, a thick sweater, my coat, hat and scarf. Gloves...here they are. Soon, I had all of my overnight stuff in a small rolling suitcase that I rarely used.

Good timing, too. Because Ty texted me soon after, much earlier than I expected.

I’m downstairs. Ready for an adventure?

OMW, I sent back.

Quickly, I shrugged into my coat and hat, grabbed my purse and suitcase, and ran for the door. “Have a great weekend, guys. See you Sunday.”

“You sound far too excited,” Angus said with mock-disapproval.

He and Lauren hugged me, then I darted off to find out Ty’s big secret. He was waiting downstairs by the front door with his own luggage. As I ran toward him, he picked me up and swung me around, then planted a firm hello kiss on me. His expression shifted, melted, and it was almost too much for me to bear. I understood what he meant when he talked about my face showing him everything, because now I was getting it back.

“You always look so damn happy to see me,” he said, low. “And it’s like a fist in my gut, every time. I wait for it not to happen, for you to get used to me, or maybe you’re tired or you had a bad day, so you’re in no mood to shine, but no. There’s always that smile. Yeah,” he added, touching my lower lip. “That one. Ready?”

Without waiting for my answer, he grabbed both our suitcases and led the way to his car. The night was cold but clear. He’d left his car running, right by the front doors, so it was deliciously warm when he tucked me into it. Those small gestures stole my heart, again and again, until I was helpless with it.

“I’m so excited. How far are we going?”

“Just a couple of hours. We should be there by nine.”

“Oh, my God, tell me already.”

“You really want to know?”

I shot him a look that could’ve steamed paint off a wall. “Yes.”

“My boss, Bill, has a friend who runs a ski lodge north of here. It’s a beautiful place, downhill and cross-country trails. I asked him to hook us up with a getaway package as part of my holiday bonus.”

“Wow.” I was stunned to silence. “You need the money for school, right? I hope it wasn’t—”

“If I didn’t want this, we wouldn’t be in the car.”

“Then thank you. I brought warm clothes like you said. But you should know, I’m not a very good skier.”

“We’ll work on it. But there’s also sledding, snowmobiling and an ice-skating pond. Pretty much the whole winter wonderland.”

Suddenly, the art pencils I’d gotten him didn’t seem like enough, and to cover my sense that our footing had shifted, I asked, “How was your Christmas?”

“I spent the night with my parents, so they could be there when Sam opened all of his presents. He loves their house because my mom goes all out. It’s like a holiday store exploded and my dad spends two full days decorating outside.”

“The power bill must be insane.”

“No shit, he builds it into the budget annually, that leap in wattage.”

“It sounds fun. Did your sisters come?”

“Valerie’s here, spoiling Sam rotten. Sarah couldn’t make it.” When he talked about them like this, it made me feel like I knew them, too.

“I was wondering...does Sam ever see Diana’s parents?” Her leaving didn’t change the fact that they were his grandparents, too.

“Two or three times a year. They live in Arizona, and they don’t get here very often. Her dad is in a wheelchair, and it’s rough on him to travel.”

“Oh.”

“But they Skype with him and send presents. They’re still looking for her,” he added quietly. “Talking about hiring a private detective, last I heard.”

Wow. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. “Sorry if that was—”

“No, it’s okay. The worst thing about it is, they don’t blame me for putting her in this situation. They blame her for ‘running away.’” With a determined air, he changed the subject. “Hey, how were finals?”

Gratitude rippled through me. By now, I should know better than to ask anything about Diana. The answers always made me sad. “I lived. Pretty sure I scored well enough to hang in for another semester.”

“If I know you at all, you did way better than that.” Ty glanced at me, smiling, and the softness of his eyes, his mouth, seemed light-years away from the tense, angry guy I’d met back in late August. In fact, even talking about Diana didn’t dent his mood as much as it did before.

Four months. I’ve known him four months.

“I aced my teaching practicum.” Saying it out loud sounded so much like bragging, but the words sent a happy thrill through me.

“That’s fantastic.” As we drove, I told him about the first failed idea and the all-nighter that resulted in the second one.

Ty nodded. “I heard you pacing. Some nights it’s tough, knowing you’re right upstairs.”

The darkness and the rhythmic rush of the road beneath the tires made it easier to admit, “For me, too. Sometimes I do have a terrible day and you’d make it better. Even being tired, broke, whatever, none of it would seem as bad with you.”

His breath caught, and then he wrapped his fingers around mine and carried my hand to his mouth. “You take another little piece of me every time you open your mouth. You know that, right?”

“I’m not trying to.”

“Nadia. You don’t have to try.” Months later, I still got that little flutter at the way his voice deepened around my name, like the syllables tasted different on his tongue.

I turned the music on then, trying to cover the way my hands trembled. It wasn’t right that he could move me this much. I had no defense against his honesty. Ty was everything real and raw, a brightness that superimposed upon me long after I looked away, and he had no fucking idea that for me, this was so much more than sex or friendship. It was a need that hammered in my heart, etched into the secret underside of my skin and tapped away at my bones.

For the rest of the drive, we sang along with the radio, and I let my feelings settle to a low simmer. Otherwise, I probably would’ve cried all over my sleeve. But my first glimpse of the resort stole my breath, shoving other concerns to the back of my mind. As promised, it was a winter wonderland with a chalet-style lodge and glimmering lights along the trails. Wisps of smoke swirled heavenward from cabins farther into the woods, and more lights ringed the ice-skating pond, where graceful figures twirled and spun, lending the place an enchanted air.

Ty drove us past the icy marvels and parked, then he got our bags out of the trunk. “Let’s get checked in. I don’t know about you but tonight, I just want some room service. We can hit the ground running tomorrow.”

“Sounds fantastic.”

“Did I mention the suite has a spa tub?” Though his tone sounded innocent, his eyes were not.

“Somehow, no.”

Outside, the lodge was impressive. Inside, it offered rustic elegance by way of polished stone and wood beams. A roaring fireplace dominated the lobby, and across the way, five or six people were drinking at the bar. The receptionist was quick and efficient, giving him forms to sign and explaining the amenities succinctly.

Once she processed the reservation and handed Ty the key, she asked, “Do you need help with your bags?”

“No, we’ve got it. Thanks.” Then he turned to me. “We’re on the third floor. Elevator’s this way. Come on, sweetness.” He didn’t hug me but he might as well have as he took charge of the luggage again.

The other guests were older, and I wondered how we looked to them. Maybe I just felt weird because I’d never done anything like this before. Nobody paid us any attention as we crossed the lobby and went to check out our room. Which was gorgeous. A king-size bed piled high with satiny pillows caught my eye right away. The oatmeal carpet was plush beneath my feet when I kicked off my boots, and the bathroom was bigger than the one Lauren and I shared.

Yeah, that tub’s definitely big enough for two.

“It’s beautiful,” I said aloud.

“I’ve never been here but Bill loves it. Of course, he’s fifty-eight. So I’m guessing it’ll be mostly his age bracket and maybe a few families.”

“I’m not necessarily looking to make new friends,” I said.

“That’s a relief. Because I feel pretty antisocial.”

“Should I leave you alone?”

“Not you. Just the rest of the world.” His words hinted that he needed only me, and his gaze confirmed. “Are you hungry?”

I nodded.

“Then let’s find the room service menu.”

We ordered bowls of stew and salad, and when it came, the waiter pushed a linen-covered cart into the room and set the small table up as if we were in a restaurant. He even lit a candle between us, so my amazement was overflowing when he shut the door. Ty sat down like this was no big deal, but I had the feeling we were getting VIP treatment.

“Getaway package,” he explained as he uncovered the food.

As we ate, he told me about his week. “Things have slowed down at work. With the ground frozen, there’s a limit on what we can do. No new sites until March or so, which means we’re limited to renovations.”

“Because the crew can work inside?”

“Yeah, but Bill hates reno jobs, calls it nickel-and-dime bullshit, but those little jobs keep us in the black until we can take bigger projects in the spring.”

“Does that mean less work for you? Is it easier to manage?”

“Somewhat. This is the laid-back part of the year.”

After we finished, Ty tidied up the table and carried the dishes to the cart, then pushed it back into the hall. A warm flush went through me when he put the DO NOT DISTURB tag on the door and flipped the lock. It seemed like much longer than two months since we’d been naked in the same room.

“You look...determined,” I whispered.

“I told myself I’d be cool, but I don’t think that’s possible between us. I want you so much, and it’s been a million years since I touched you. Is it... Are you—”

“Yes,” I said.

Ten seconds later, I was in his arms, and he was pulling my shirt over my head. I unbuttoned his with shaky fingers and smoothed my palms up his chest. With a ragged breath, he kissed me, and I tangled my arms around his neck. My whole body ached for him, and he drew me in with delicious heat and the slow delight of his mouth moving on mine, his tongue, mine, rasp of teeth and the demanding press of his hands.

I fell back, bouncing on the mattress, and then he was on me, moving between my legs. My jeans came off and then my socks, until I was in my bra and panties, and the golden heat in his brown eyes swept me from top to bottom, molten as a touch. He pulled my panties off in a rough motion and lowered his head.

“I’ve dreamed about this,” he muttered.

God, Ty was a genius with that mouth. Most guys did this grudgingly, if at all, but he licked and nuzzled, until I came with a tiny scream. My thighs were still quivering when he slid up to kiss me, and I threaded my fingers through his hair. Digging my fingers into his back, I tried to communicate that I wanted more, but his teeth were on my neck, so I could only make sounds. I’d never been noisy during sex before, but usually I worried about someone overhearing. These walls were thick, and I didn’t care if strangers knew Ty was incredible.

“More,” I whispered.

He was trembling, fiercely aroused, when he fumbled for the condom. As he rolled it on, I saw the absolute quality of his desire. “How?” he asked. “How do you do this to me? I’ve gone longer without sex.” My mouth was dry, and I just shook my head, bewildered. “I...I want...”

“Anything.”

“All fours.” His voice washed me in heat.

He came in from behind, wrapping his arms about me. This position might appear to be about power and subjugation, but I felt only exquisitely taken, and that must be what he craved—the sense of owning me, even if he didn’t. Each thrust made me lift my hips and push back until he was frenzied, growling endearments and biting into my shoulder. The friction and pressure were so good, rubbing me just right, and then he added his fingers, stroking me as he fucked. This wasn’t lovemaking; it was hard and frantic, like he couldn’t take me hard enough, deep enough.

“Nadia, I’m— Are you—”

“Come.” I gave him permission to let go, and he did.

He brought me off with his fingers, sensing that I was still thrumming. After, I curled against his chest, breathing hard, while he played with my hair. I turned onto my side, so I could gaze into his face, and I wrapped an arm around him, trailing it down his back in a slow, delicate glide. A perma-smile shaped his mouth, and intermittent shivers underscored how the sex between us just kept getting better.

It’s because he trusts you.

Before, there had been a wall, some portion of Ty kept in reserve, but the door was open now, and the full, unreserved beauty of him staggered me. He was impish, silly even, and adorable in his demands. The night I cuddled him, he’d given some hint, but I could see Sam in him when he plopped his head in my lap and said, “Pet me.”

I did.

The rest of the weekend, we’d eat and make love, play winter sports and get cold, then warm each other up. There would be hot cocoa in our future and more kissing. Plus, I wanted to make use of that tub. But with him smiling up at me, just so, his eyes on fire and full of my reflection, it was fucking impossible that I would ever be happier than this.