Idle Bloom

Chapter Eight Time Stands Still

Vivian

There’s approximately twenty strides from Oliver’s front door to mine, but I make it in less than ten. Holding myself together until I reach the safety of my sanctuary is excruciating, but not as much as yet another rejection. I saw his pain, but I couldn’t see past it. The message on his phone, the massacred pillow, the aching sound of his sobs, I wanted to take his pain away and I thought he could do the same for me. Letting my guard down, letting him see me … all of me.

I laid my heart on the floor in his bedroom; with his words he held it in his hands and with his eyes he gave it back to me. It was the first time someone has looked at my back and not had pity in their eyes. Doctors, my parents, Kai, Alex, they all had the same look, but not Oliver. In his eyes I saw a woman not a victim, and in that moment the scars faded and my heart felt reborn. Then he took it all away. Racked with nerves shaking my entire body, I needed him to wrap me in his arms and wash away the pain, insecurities, and ugliness that has plagued my body and mind.

He left me with nothing and I left him with a vision that will fester in his mind until he wakes up and sees what everyone before him has seen—too much to bear. I know that moment was real, but that moment has drifted away and I fear we can never get it back.

Locking the door behind me, I wipe my eyes. The room feels cold, bare, and lonely. Alex is gone, but I wish she were here. I need someone’s arms, anyone’s arms.

A pounding against the door startles me. My heart surges against my chest as the rest of my body stills against the door. I inch it open to see Oliver.

He’s here!

He holds my purse up, letting it dangle from his finger.

Oh, I just forgot my purse.

“Um, thanks.” I try to grab it without completely opening the door. He has his own problems; I don’t need to be one of them.

He pulls it away as I try to grab it.

“Vivian?”

“Hmm?”

“Open the door.”

I wipe my eyes and open the door with a defeated sigh. Oliver tosses my purse on the floor and frames my face in his hands. My brain wants to protest his touch, but my body can’t. Fragile blue eyes steal my breath so I surrender my words, leaving them for another time. Right now I take him in: disheveled copper-blond hair that usually has order, his strong angular jaw with a soft stubble shadow below prominent cheek bones, and faded crimson lips that I can’t stop craving. Oliver is beautifully handsome.

He shakes his head, relinquishing a sad smile as he wipes the moisture away from my cheeks. “Vivian, I told you, no take backs.”

Oliver kisses me and the earth stops moving beneath my feet, as if our lips meeting trumps anything else the over seven billion other people in the world are doing at this exact moment. Time just … stops.

Somewhere between now and forever, he carries me up the stairs bumping our bodies from one wall to the next as I refuse to let go of his lips.

“This one,” I murmur into his kiss as we start to pass my room.

He kicks the door shut setting me on my feet. Brushing my fingertips over my bruised lips, I grin. Oliver raises a brow, staring at my bed.

“A twin bed?”

I nod, then he nods. “O–kay.” He pulls down the covers and tosses my pillow on the floor.

He has some real pillow issues.

“I’ve had a shitty day … until you.” He unbuttons my shirt. “With you…” he pushes my shirt off my shoulders and unfastens my bra “…everything’s better.”

My body trembles and I hate that my nerves are so obvious. Oliver kisses me. It’s the only part of our bodies that touch. Our tongues tease and our lips caress. My eyes fight to stay open as he trails his lips and tongue along my neck and down my chest, stopping between my breasts, lingering right over my heart. Each blink is heavier than the one before, but I don’t want to miss one second of this. Every look we share is filled with a million wordless emotions.

He pulls down my skirt and looks up at me with a tiny grin as if he just remembered I’m not wearing any panties. I shrug and smile.

Standing, he backs me to the bed until I sit. Lying back, I pull my feet up on the bed and part my shaky knees while he shrugs off his shirt.

Stick, pinch, burn, stick, pinch, burn.

My chest rises and falls in rapid succession.

Stick, pinch, burn, stick, pinch, burn.

Oliver unfastens his jeans and pushes them down leaving on his boxer briefs. He’s turned on. Oh. My. God! He’s turned on by me. I look at him and he grins. He’s watching me stare at his tented briefs.

Sucking in a deep breath, I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes tight while my hands grip the sheets.

Stick, pinch, burn, stick, pinch, burn.

“Don’t worry about me, I can take it. You don’t need to hold back, just … do it!” I clench my teeth together and fight to keep my legs spread for him.

I wait.

And wait.

Nothing.

Peeking one eye open, I see Oliver standing before me with his briefs still on. His brows knit together and he smiles, releasing a soft chuckle. He kneels on the bed between my legs and grabs my right foot. Bringing it to his mouth, he kisses the pad of my big toe and then my arch, keeping his eyes on mine.

My fingers relax their death grip on the sheets. His lips and tongue ignite a blazing fire along my skin as he works his way up my leg. About three inches beyond my knee, he brushes his tongue against my inner thigh and makes a slow move to continue up my leg.

I snap my legs together against his head like a vice, preventing him from going any farther.

“Vivian? What are you doing?” His voice muffles against my leg.

“What are you doing? Whe–where are you going?”

He grips my knees and pries my legs open, releasing his head. “I’m preparing you.”

I swallow. “For what?”

“For me.”

“Oh … um … uh …”

He takes my hand and guides it between my legs until I’m covering myself. His lips press against the back of my hand, kissing my knuckles and each one of my fingers. Then his tongue repeats the same pattern and my hand twitches. My pulse takes flight and my mouth falls open as my breathing becomes heavy. I curl my fingers and touch myself. Oliver slides his tongue between my wet fingers and grazes my sensitive flesh. He sucks my finger into his mouth and as I pull it from his mouth, I slide it up my belly and relax my legs exposing all of myself to him.

“Ahh!” I cry, jerking my hips off the bed when his mouth covers me.

He doesn’t stop and it’s embarrassing how quickly I’m seeing stars. “Ol–Oliver … stop … I’m … I’m going to—” I grab his hair and fist it so hard I’m pretty sure he groans, but he doesn’t stop his relentless assault.

“Oh God! Oh God! Oh … Oliver!” I yell, thrashing my head from side to side as my orgasm sucks the life out of me in thundering waves.

There’s not a tense muscle left in my body. In fact, I feel like I could pass out from exhaustion. Oliver kisses his way up my abdomen to my breasts and hums as his mouth closes over my nipple. Releasing it, he sits up and removes his boxer briefs then goes right back to my other breast.

“Did you like that?” he asks while working his way up my neck.

“Yes.” I start to find my breath. “Ung!” I cry as his mouth takes mine and he pushes into me with one hard thrust.

Stick, pinch, buurrrnn! Goodbye, virginity.

Oliver stills while his tongue invades my mouth. My fingers dig into his firm butt muscles, then he starts to move—slow at first. His mouth never leaves my body; it’s on my lips, neck, ear, and breasts, distracting me from the torpedo invasion down below.

I don’t really have anything to compare him to except books and movies, but Oliver is not very vocal during sex. He must think I’m a real screamer. Then there is my twin bed that I’ve had since I was six, the frame on it squeaks and squawks like a rusty wagon being pulled along a cobblestone road. I’m so grateful that Alex is not home to hear the symphony of Vivian and her childhood bed getting seriously nailed by the hottest guy to ever walk the planet.

“Ouch!” I yell.

Oliver distracts my thoughts as he stills deep inside me and bites my nipple a little harder than necessary. I glare down at him and he smiles with my nipple still between his teeth and sweat beading along his brow.

“Sadist, huh?”

He releases my nipple and kisses it shaking his head. “Not hardly.”

Easing off me, he inches out and I can’t hide the slight grimace on my face. His mirrors mine. “Sorry.”

I shake my head. “It’s fine.” I sit up on my arms, look down, and see a little bit of blood on him and something else that’s not there. “Oh my God! Where’s your condom? Please tell me you used a condom? I don’t remember you putting one on! Oh. My. Go—”

He kisses me and I relax, a little. Releasing my lips his gaze falls and he stands pulling on his pants. “I can’t have children, sorry.”

Wrapping the sheet around my body, I sit up. “Why are you sorry?”

He runs his hands through his hair. “Because I should have told you before things … went this far.”

“You’re assuming I want kids and being with me would just be leading me on?”

He nods and the pain in his face is so disheartening. I stand letting the sheet fall from my body. Resting my hands on his chest, I look up at him. “Before I met you I had resigned myself to the idea that my fate was to be an eternal virgin.” I press my lips to his chest and his hand cups the back of my head with tenderness. “So really, kids haven’t been on my radar since I played dollies as a young girl. Okay?”

Oliver kisses the top of my head. “But you deserve—”

“I deserve this.” I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me. “No take backs.”

He nods with a sad smile as he wraps me in his arms. I can’t get enough of him. He’s ice cream on a hot summer day, peanuts and the Red Sox, popcorn at the movies, and a candlelit cake on my birthday. My lips find his and become demanding as my hands move to the button of his jeans.

“No way.” He grabs my wrists. “You’re going to be sore. You should think about taking a hot bath.” Interlacing our fingers he moves our hands behind my back. “I’ll see you in the morning. Okay?”

My lips pull into a forced smile so he doesn’t see my disappointment. It’s not about the sex. He’s right, I’m a little … okay, a lot sore right now. I just don’t want to leave the comfort of his arms, and my twin bed isn’t too inviting so asking him to stay would be ridiculous.

He kisses me again, and again, and again.

“Bye.” He smiles and kisses my forehead.

“Bye.” I wait until he closes the door, then I sit down on my bed hugging my knees to my chest. There’s nothing worse than being alone with my thoughts. I should be thrilled. Earlier today I planned on handing my virginity to Chance in the least romantic way possible: half clothed on his couch. Instead, I ended up with Oliver and he made me feel beautiful, sexy, and amazing. So why am I sad?

I look up as I hear my door open.

Oliver grins. “You could throw some clothes in an overnight bag and come take a bath at my house … with me.”

Once again, the world stops turning. It’s just us.

Oliver

Vivian insists on a bubble bath. I insist my non-SLS soap would not make very many bubbles. Nearly a full bottle of body wash later, we have a weak layer of bubbles floating around us, but Vivian seems nonetheless pleased.

After our bath, I’m equally as pleased to have her naked body next to mine in my California king-sized bed.

“I should have brought my pillow.”

I offer her my arm. She rests her head on it as I pull her close.

“Can I ask why you have such an aversion to pillows? Bad neck or something?”

“It’s something from my past to be shared in the future, just not now.”

She tilts her head up and kisses my jaw, a non-verbal acceptance of my vague explanation. I know that won’t always be the case. I can’t remember the last time I felt this content … maybe never.

Creatures of habit like my dad and I don’t need alarms. The sunrise calls to me, so I reluctantly leave the naked woman next to me to go out on my deck and welcome a new day. After I feel the official beginning, the end of another darkness, I run to Dunks and get doughnuts and coffee.

Vivian is still asleep by the time I return, and I can’t believe the way she’s managed to spread her long body diagonally across my bed. I assumed someone who slept in a twin every night would stay huddled on the edge. So much for that theory.

I set breakfast on the nightstand and remove my shirt and shorts before finding a small section of the bed in which to lie next to her. She’s sleeping on her stomach with her tangled hair hiding her face. I have an unobstructed view of her back. Of course I’m curious about her scars, but I won’t ask. That might be her past to be shared in the future, just not today. I lean over her and kiss one of the closed blossoms hiding a scar, then another, and another.

“Oli,” she says in a groggy voice.

I move lower and kiss the soft curve of her ass. “Did you just call me Oli?”

“Mmmhmm.” She draws in an audible breath then flips over and sits up. Her nipples are pebbled, and her raven hair is everywhere and so damn sexy. My already hard dick pulses. I tried to play it cool last night, like bathing with her and sleeping next to her naked wasn’t torturing me. How stupid am I?

“I smell doughnuts.” She whips her head around and grabs the box.

“Doughnuts? Only you would smell doughnuts in a box before steamy coffee.”

She flips open the lid and grins so big.

Thump, thump, thump … my dick pulses.

“Boston Kreme.” She swipes some chocolate frosting off the top and sucks it slowly off her finger. “Mmm …”

Thump, thump, thump.

I grab my coffee and take a sip, hoping the caffeine will counteract the effect she’s having on me.

She sticks her finger in the hole and moves it around before pulling out the creamy filling and sucking it off with a soft moan while she closes her eyes.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!

I choke on my coffee as it scorches my tongue and the roof of my mouth.

“You okay?”

I nod, setting the coffee back on the nightstand while clearing my throat. She sticks her finger back in that damn hole.

“Stop!”

Her eyes go wide and she sticks her coated finger in her mouth again. “Stop what?” she mumbles around it.

Her innocence in the matter only makes things worse. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who doesn’t know she’s sexy.

“This!” I pull her finger out of her mouth and stick it in mine then ease it out rolling my tongue around it. “Finger-fucking your doughnut. Stop. Finger-fucking. Your. Doughnut.”

She giggles. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Yes, that is what you’re doing and it’s …”

She takes a slow, seductive lick of the frosting off the top. “It’s what?” I swear she purrs the words.

“Nothing.” I shake my head.

Vivian cocks hers to the side. “Does watching me eat this doughnut turn you on, Oli?”

“What’s with the Oli? And what do you think?” I gesture to my erection straining against my briefs.

She wets her lips and grins while pushing me back on the bed. I see the mischief dancing in those alluring eyes as she frees me from my briefs. Straddling my legs, she sits up straight and swipes her tongue through the frosting on her doughnut again.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!

Then she sticks her finger in the hole and pulls out a glob of cream filling and wipes it on my dick.

“What? Ah, don’t do that—” I start to protest until she licks me and … oh God … sucks … it … off me. “Yes, oh … do that … please … do … that …”

We sit in bed and finish our coffee, and Vivian finishes her doughnut like she didn’t just lick and suck half of it off my dick. There must be some serious health code violation that just happened, but she left me with too big of a smile on my face to really give a damn.

“I fell into the smoldering embers of a campfire my senior year. It was an accident. I lost six inches of my hair and had third-degree burns.”

Um … okay. I guess we’re talking about this.

Speechless. I didn’t think she’d open up so soon. In a way relief washes over me. My mind had conjured up so many different scenarios, some of them involving abuse.

“Skin grafts were an option, but they weren’t needed to prevent infection so I chose not to have the procedure. The donor tissue would have been from my legs, leaving a whole new area of scaring.”

I take her cup and set it down next to mine then pull her between my legs so her back is to me. She gathers her hair and pulls it to one side in front of her shoulder, and I feel this whole new responsibility.

Trust.

Vivian has let me into her life and shown me a part of her that very few people have ever seen. She’s given me her trust and now she’s showing me everything because she trusts that I will accept her and protect the most vulnerable part of her.

I trace my fingers along the branches and over the blossoms, feeling the uneven terrain from her scars. She turns and looks at me. A hint of uncertainty still lingers in her tensed eyes. I smile and kiss her shoulder.

“No take backs,” I whisper.

Vivian freshens up in my bathroom while I clean up the pillow disaster and assess the damage to my phone. It’s amazing that she’s still here. My behavior yesterday had to be a little frightening to someone who hasn’t known me for long.

“You working today or buying a new phone?”

I look up to see her coming down the stairs in her very short shorts, a tank top, and her hair tied back into submission. “Both.” I hold up my shattered phone. “This isn’t me. What you saw yesterday … I’m not usually a violent person.”

She shrugs and hops up on the counter, grabbing my shirt while pulling me between her legs. “This morning, what I did…” she grins “…I don’t usually lick Boston Kreme filling off my neighbor’s cock.”

I devour the skin on her neck, working my way up to those lips, the same lips that, yes, were wrapped around my cock an hour earlier. My hands can’t resist cupping her breasts and when she moans and leans her head to the side inviting more of my touch, I realize I’m starting something that I don’t have time to finish, and said cock is not going to be too happy with me.

“We should get going.” My words don’t sound very convincing.

She wraps her legs around my waist. “Are you sure?”

I grab her ankles and free myself from her suggestive proposition. “Unfortunately, yes, I’m sure.”

“Dinner later?” Her hopeful eyes widen.

“I have dinner with my parents later. Maybe you could come over after I get back.”

She purses her lips and nods once. “Actually, it slipped my mind. I have plans tonight.”

“You do?”

She hops off the counter. “Yep.”

“Okay, well I’ll be at the Boat Club with my dad in the morning, but we could do something in the afternoon.”

She stretches up on her toes and kisses me. “Sounds good. So I’ll see you tomorrow unless we run into each other before then.”

“You taking the T this morning?”

She opens the door. “I catch a ride with Alex on Saturdays.”

I nod, a little perplexed by her aloof attitude.