Idle Bloom

Chapter Sixteen Ghosts

Vivian

In my young naive world I like to believe that Oliver moved back to Cambridge to meet me. It’s a fairy tale enchanted feeling that we were somehow fated to meet. In reality I know something bad happened to him while he was in Portland. I love him so the patient part is easy. However, I’m naturally an inquisitive person so the suspense, no matter how bad it may be, is killing me.

When we lie next to each other in bed, I sense him working up the nerve to tell me something, maybe everything. Then just as quickly as the moment comes, it vanishes and I’m left wondering when. When will he tell me what’s behind that damn locked door? When will he tell me why we sleep on a flat mattress with no pillows? When will he tell me why he has a Harvard education yet spends all day playing in the dirt and working for pennies?

“Maybe you should see if Alex is okay with you leaving your bed here.” Oliver says as we survey my empty bedroom with the exception of my childhood twin bed.

“What if we took it apart and stored it in your spare bedroom?”

“I already have a bed in there.”

“I mean the other one.”

He tenses staring at the bed then turns and walks downstairs.

That went well.

“Hey!”

He stops at the bottom of the stairs. I walk down and hug his back. “I’m sorry.”

Turning, he runs his hands through my hair and stares at me with such pain I feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes and I don’t even know why. I’m on the precipice of waiting for my world to begin and end at the same time.

“It’s none of my business.” He flinches and the last thing I want is to cause him pain, but I have. I reach up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, then I wait. He moves his mouth with mine and all I want is for him to feel my lucid emotions. He is my forever even if I am nothing more than his now.

“Get a room,” Alex says, coming in the front door.

“You’re back early.”

She hugs me. “Yes, we had to bring Kai back. He’s a mess.”

I let go and look at Oliver to see if he heard her, but he’s too busy talking to Sean. They’re both smiling. I wasn’t sure how Sean would be toward Oliver since he and Kai are such good friends.

“I can’t think about Kai anymore.”

Alex gives me a sad smile. “I know.” She gestures to the boxes sitting by the front door. “When you messaged me that you were moving in with Oliver I didn’t think you meant this weekend.”

I shrug. “I’m there all the time anyway and I don’t have that much stuff so we decided to just do it today.”

“You do realize you’re going to have to tell your parents.”

I nod. “I know. I need to tell my parents a lot of things.”

Alex sighs. “I don’t suppose you’re going to keep paying me rent, huh?”

“Dream on. You’re going to have to actually work with us at The Green Pot a little more often so your parents don’t wonder why you’re suddenly asking for spending money.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a traitor, you know. I took you in because you didn’t have a life and you needed a hiding place for a few years and you told me I wouldn’t have to worry about you bringing guys home or not being here to keep an eye on things for me. Now look what you’ve gone and done.”

I flash her a wry grin. “Sorry.”

Alex bumps my arm with her shoulder. “Whatever. Sex looks good on you.”

The room falls silent and two sets of male eyes fall on us. “What are you two looking at? God! Typical men, the only time you’re not selectively deaf is when the words sex, pussy, and tits are mentioned.” Alex rolls her eyes.

“We just heard sex, babe. Did we miss pussy and tits earlier?”

“Shut up!” Alex marches over to Sean and he instinctively protects his balls. She punches him in the arm. “Help Oliver carry theses boxes across the street so Flower and I can have a few minutes alone to compare the size of your penises.”

Both Oliver and Sean divert their eyes to the boxes. Their nervous embarrassment is palpable. “I’m just kidding.” Alex laughs. “We both already know whose is bigger.”

Oliver looks at me with wild eyes, but all I can do is laugh.

“Come on, Flower.” Alex locks arms with me and pulls me to the kitchen.

“You’re terrible.”

Alex opens a bottle of wine and fills two glasses. “Sean loves it.”

“No, Sean loves you, he tolerates your crude behavior.”

She takes a sip of her wine. “What about Oliver? What is there about you that he tolerates?”

“My insatiable sex drive.”

Alex coughs and grins. “I knew it! I bet you’re a real naughty little vixen.”

I swallow my wine and smile.

“Oh my gosh, Flower! Are you into kinky shit? Sean is so not working for you … ever!”

“It’s not just about sex, it’s sex with Oliver. It’s … life-altering and mind-blowing, like an out-of-body experience.”

She shakes her head and takes another sip of wine. “An out-of-body experience?”

I nod and smile with a soft sigh just thinking about it.

“So while some of us are giving the nubbin a rubbin’ after our man fails to get the job done, you’re having a freaking out-of-body experience. That’s great, Flower … just great. Sean has got to up his game. Maybe we should try some of that spanking you and Oliver do.”

“Shh …” I look out to see where the guys are. “We haven’t done that,” I whisper. “At least not yet.”

“Yet?”

I grin. “Yet. It’s been a joke between us. I think that’s all it’s going to be, but I’m not sure.”

“Yeah, well there’s a little truth to everything. Men are animalistic by nature. About a year ago Sean pulled out early and spewed his spunk all over my breasts like he felt the need to mark me or some shit like that. I told him to clean it up or he’d be tasting my piss in his coffee the next morning.”

I choke on my wine. “Did-didn’t need to—know that.” I clear my throat.

“Well, I’m just telling you so you can be prepared. One day it’s a friendly pat on your bare ass, the next day he shows up with a sack containing shackles, an anal speculum, and a bottle of Sour Sin Sations Ravishing Raspberry lubricant.”

“Sour Sin Sation—”

Alex waves a dismissive hand in the air. “Don’t ask. My point is you need to remember that your perfect sex stallion is in fact a man, AKA a kinky bastard with fantasies that are just too unimaginable for such a young and inexperienced little flower.”

“Anal speculum?” I blink in rapid succession.

“You’re completely missing the point, Flower. Never mind, let’s see if those boys are done hauling your stuff.”

“I need to go visit my parents.” I say while unpacking my clothes in Oliver’s—our closet.

“Are you going to confess that you haven’t been in school the past two years?” Oliver pulls out a pair of my I’ll-be-a-virgin-for-life cotton panties and smiles.

I snatch them from him, giving him a glowering squint. “Yes and I think I should give them my new address and introduce them to my …”

“Your what?” Oliver grabs my panties back and brings them to his nose. Alex is right, men are animals.

“My perverted boyfriend.” I tug them away. “Fabric softener, they smell like fabric softener you freak.”

He laughs. “So let’s go next weekend.”

“No, it’s your birthday, but how would you feel about the following weekend?”

He tosses the empty box toward the door then plops down on the bed with his hands laced behind his head.

“Even better. I’m sure your parents want to see you on your birthday.” He winks with a smarty-pants grin.

“How do you know my birthday?”

“I have my sources. When were you going to tell me?”

“Probably a week after you told me about your birthday.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you.” He shrugs. “Because it’s not a big deal.”

“Well, then I was going to tell you a week after never. Now who told you?” I crawl on top of him and unbutton his pants.

Tilting his chin down, he watches me with a smirk. “Horny?”

I lick my lips and nod. “A name.”

“Maggie told me a couple weeks ago. She said you’d never tell me.” He unbuttons my shorts and unzips them.

I scoot off the bed and tug his shorts and briefs off then do the same to my shorts and panties.

“Never is a long time, but she might be right.” I slip off my shirt and remove my bra.

He sits up and shrugs off his shirt then glances back at the alarm clock. “You do realize we had sex like twenty-five minutes ago.”

I nod. “I could run and grab a doughnut instead.”

He offers his hand and I take it. Pulling me onto his lap he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth while lining his cock up to my entrance, teasing it back and forth against my clitoris.

I arch my back and he sucks harder on my nipple, grazing his teeth over it as he releases it then does the same to my other breast. I love the feel of his tongue torturing my nipples.

“Make me come … just … like … this.” I close my eyes and let him bring me to a mind-blowing orgasm with just his tongue teasing the tips of my nipples and the warm, moist head of his cock sliding against my clitoris. “Yes … Y-yeesss!” My cry is loud and uninhibited. He starts to slide into me but I scoot off the bed.

“Where are you—”

I hold up a finger and grin then go into the closet. A few seconds later I strut out wearing a black lace bra that does little to hide my nipples and a pair of black high-heel boots that zip up past my knees, and no panties.

“Oh. Sweet. Jesus.” Oliver’s breath is labored as his greedy eyes wash over my body.

I walk over to the dresser, the scene of the accident, and bend over bracing my hands on the edge. “What are you waiting for?” I ask looking back over my shoulder at him.

His emotionless face curls into a smile as his blue eyes find mine. He stands, then grabbing my hips, grazes his hard dick over my entrance. “You’re every guy’s fucking fantasy, you know that, right?” He plunges into me and the few photos of his family along with his watch and some loose change rattle on the dresser. A moan escapes his chest as he stills buried deep inside me.

“I only want to be your fantasy, Oli.”

“Mission accomplished,” he says through gritted teeth then rears back and slams into me again and again, gaining speed and strength with each thrust.

Oliver

It’s brutally painful how much I’ve come to love her in the past few weeks. I sit on the edge of the bed and watch her continue to put her things away in the closet and drawers I cleared out for her. She’s back in shorts and a T-shirt, but my eyes still see her in those boots and lace bra. One thing’s for sure … I will never grab my wallet and watch off the dresser again without seeing her bent over grasping the edge asking me what I’m waiting for.

She has no idea how hard it was for me to look at her back today. Those scars represent how much she’s really given herself to me, how much she trusts me. Vivian’s all in, no holds barred, take me as I am, and I’m the luckiest bastard alive. She deserves the same and every time I think the words of truth, my truth, are ready to come out, they don’t. I can’t give them to her. It’s like they’re glued to my soul and it’s only a matter of time before she rips them out of me.

“You’re awfully quiet, Mr. Konrad. Too much sex today?” She grins while breaking down the boxes by the door, which is what I should be doing. Instead, I’m lost in my own world of self-pity.

I hold out my hand and she takes it, once again giving me everything with complete trust. Pulling her between my legs, I rest my cheek on her chest while feathering my fingers over the back of her legs. “I love you, you know that, right?”

“I do.” She slides her fingers through my hair.

“Good, because someday you may question my love for you, but don’t.” I look up at her and I see the concern etched in the wrinkles on her forehead.

She moves her hands to my face, resting her palms on my cheeks. “O-kay.”

“No matter what, I’m serious. Promise me you’ll never forget how much I love you and how much I don’t deserve you, but I’m selfish and letting you go is too impossible.”

“Oli, you’re scaring me.”

I hug her tight as if I can physically draw her into me so we’re connected in a way that nothing could ever separate us.

“Don’t be scared.”

She leans back and looks at me. “Are you dying?”

I laugh. “We’re all dying, and when you don’t wear underwear you kill me a little faster every day.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m serious.”

“I am too.” I grin. “But, no, I’m not dying any more than you are.”

She steps back, opening the last box. Pulling out a fleece blanket, she tosses it on the bed next to me, then she pulls out a pillow and hugs it to her chest. Worrying her teeth over her bottom lip she stares at me. “I like to rest my head on a pillow when I sleep.”

Fuck!

I swallow hard and shake my head slowly. “I can’t.”

“It’s not for you, just for me—”

“I can’t.” I try to keep the anger out of my voice.

She steps toward me with the pillow, and I feel the sweat bead on my skin. “Vivian?” I hold up my hand and shake my head faster. She stops. “Remember what I just said to you?”

She nods.

I try to control my breathing and steady my voice. “Good, then you need to get rid of the fucking pillow before I tear it to shreds.”

The woeful frown on her face guts me, but I can’t change what’s happening and I hate myself for it. As much as I want to put on an act and pretend the anxiety inside isn’t eating me alive, I can’t.

A few tears escape her eyes then she turns and puts the pillow back in the box and carries it downstairs. I can’t breathe as sweat drips down my face. I shrug off my clothes and jump into the cold shower. Regret washes over me faster than the water.

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.