Idle Bloom

Chapter Twenty-Eight Surprise

Vivian

I love school. If money weren’t an issue, I’d make a career of it. And right now without it, I’d fall apart missing Oliver so much. We text and talk on the phone everyday and on the weekends we have Skype-X—sex via Skype. Oliver has tried to engage me in it during the week, but he’s apparently forgotten the demands of college. It’s also possible that he was a student like Alex or Sean, here for the degree and not necessarily the knowledge.

I’ve made some friends, good ones, the kind who sit in the front row and record all the lectures. A few of them have been asking me to join them for open mic night at one of the local pubs. I’ve graciously declined until today. Weekends are lonely for me, even with all the studying I do. There’s too much time to miss Oliver, especially living in his house and sleeping in his bed. So I’ve accepted their invite and I plan to drink too much wine, piss on Johnny H. on my way home, then drunk dial Oliver to see if he wants to get naked on Skype with me.

It will take more than a few drinks to get me up on stage. Oliver ruined karaoke for me since the Katy Perry-donkey-in-labor comment. It was harsh, especially considering how much I love to sing. I’ll get over it … eventually.

“Flower?”

“Upstairs,” I call from the bathroom, contemplating wearing my hair up or down.

“Whoa, look at you! Hot date?”

I grin pulling out my hair clips, opting to wear it down. “Hardly. You’ll be so proud of me. I’m going out with some friends tonight for open mic night.”

Alex deflates. “You are?”

“Yep.” I apply some lip gloss and rub my lips together.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“What? You’ve been telling me for weeks to get my ass out of here and have some fun … to ‘let my hair down.’ Look…” I point to my hair “…hair down, and I’m going out.”

“Sean’s coming over and I’m making dinner, then we’re going to watch a movie. I was hoping you’d join us.”

Raising a brow, I smirk. “You were?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Hmm, karaoke with my new single friends or third-wheel dinner and a movie with my friend and her fiancé, which will no doubt end in you two making out in front of me through the whole movie? No offense, but I’m going out.”

“What can I do to make you stay?”

“What is your deal? Is there a bomb threat I don’t know about?”

“No.”

“Have you had a premonition about tonight?”

“Not exactly.” She squints and purses her lips.

“Then I’m going out and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

I grab my black heels.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing that.”

I look down at my fitted, red strapless dress that ends just above my knees. “Why? Does it look bad?”

“No, you look like a freaking model. I was surprised when you bought it, since it shows part of your back.”

I turn and look at my back in the mirror. The upper branches reaching toward my shoulders with red and pink buds are visible even with my hair down. I shrug. “I don’t care. Oliver thinks I’m beautiful and since he’s been in my life … I’m starting to believe it too.”

I think Alex has tears in her eyes, but she hides it well with a few rapid blinks. “Come here.” She opens her arms to me and I hug her. “Flower, you’re the most beautiful person I know … inside and out. Go have fun.”

“Thanks, Alex.”

“What bar are you going to?”

“Not sure. Chelsea hasn’t messaged me the info yet.”

“Well, text me when you find out. You know, in case we have to come pick up your drunk ass.”

“Thanks, Mom, I will.”

The four of us find a table close to the front, just right of the stage. Chelsea, Felicia, and Tess have fake IDs; it never occurred to me that my new freshman friends are two years younger than I am and not of legal drinking age yet.

“Your tat is incredible.” Tess brushes my hair away from my back.

“Thanks.”

“That had to hurt like hell. I chickened out getting a small butterfly on my shoulder,” Felicia says.

“It took several visits to complete. The pain wasn’t too bad.” I spare them the details of the inspiration for the tattoo being the real pain.

“Drinks?” Chelsea stands.

“Whisky sour.”

“Lemon drop.”

Chelsea looks at me. “Sam Adams, thanks.” I hand her a ten.

“Ooo, dibs on the guy with wavy black hair at the table behind us,” Felicia leans in and whispers followed by a giggle.

“Whatever, I’ve already got eyes for backwards ball cap guy by the stage.” Tess stares and bites her lip.

“See anyone that catches your eye, Viv?”

“Not really.” I haven’t told them about Oliver. I’m not sure how to explain our current situation.

“Not really what?” Chelsea hands us our drinks.

“We’re trying to find a guy for Viv. Tess and I have already spotted our prey.” Felicia points out the two guys to Chelsea.

“Nice.” Chelsea nods her head. “I’m keeping my options open. This place is going to be packed in a few hours. I think my guy has yet to enter the building.”

“Maybe he’s coming with Viv’s guy.” Tess and Felicia laugh.

I nurse my beer over the next hour to pace myself. Being the oldest in our group has made me feel like I should be the responsible one too. Chelsea has sung once, but Tess and Felicia are still deciding what they want to sing. I’m too sober to even look at the playlist.

“Viv?” Tess yells over the music. “You have to get on the list. Hurry up and pick a song.”

I sigh, staring at my empty beer bottle. “Okay.” I go get another beer, okay two, and I put my name on the list. By the time I get back to the table, three guys have pulled up chairs and joined our group.

“Viv, this is Mike, Lance, and Troy.” Chelsea introduces us.

The guys all seem polite, so I sit back down and start on my second beer as the roar of the crowd picks up with the start of the next performance. My new friends work their flirt overtime while I make out with my beer bottle. By my third beer, I have a confident buzz going and I decide to quit since my name will be called soon.

My phone vibrates in my purse. I assume it’s Alex checking up on me even though I sent her the location of my whereabouts earlier. It’s a text.

Oliver: Hey, baby. What are you up to tonight?

I focus on the screen and type slowly … My dexterity is a little impaired.

Me: Hi, babe! At a bar with friends.

Oliver: Bar? What kind of bar?

Me: One with people, alcohol, and music. LOL!

Oliver: Not karaoke, hopefully.

Me: Not funny and yes maybe.

Oliver: Yes, funny! Want to sext with me?

Me: Not now … when I get home.

Oliver: Are you refusing me?

“Who are you texting, Viv?” Chelsea giggles. “Your imaginary boyfriend?” The small coed gathering at our table breaks out into laughter. Yes, I’m the loner.

“Yep, my imaginary boyfriend.” I giggle to myself because everything is funny after three beers.

Me: Gotta go. I’m up soon!

I slip my phone back in my purse and try not to think of Oliver and his naughty texts that I’m missing out on.

“I think you’re next, Viv!” Tess squeals.

I start to stand as the announcer comes to the mic, but he doesn’t announce me. He announces some guy. Konrad Rosenberg. Amazing name, I think to myself as I sit back down.

“Hey, I thought you were next?” Felicia asks.

I shrug. “Some jerk probably slipped a twenty to the announcer so he could budge in front of me.”

The piano starts as a voice comes in with the first note.

“Ron Pope’s ‘A Drop in the Ocean.’ I love this song!” Tess jumps up and down in her seat.

My head is a little fuzzy, but the voice is familiar. I squint to see who’s singing it, but they’re standing back behind the corner of the stage and all I see is a shadow.

“Holy shit!” Chelsea says.

“Dibs!” All three of my new friends call as the performer steps into the light.

I think I could faint. It’s been almost eight weeks since I’ve seen him and he’s here. I can’t believe he’s here! To hell with the song, my friends, or the crowd, I stand. “Nope, he’s mine.” Squeezing my way through the crowd, I worm a path to the stage.

Oliver watches me the whole time as he continues to sing. Tears sting my eyes as I get closer. I feel like an army wife running to her husband as he steps off the plane. I know our time apart doesn’t even compare to that, but eight weeks has felt like an eternity without him. I’m almost there and he hands the mic to the announcer while the music continues to play.

“Oli …” I fall into his embrace and hug him with everything I have as he lifts me off my feet.

Tears flow. Lips collide.

The crowd erupts into crazy cheers with lots of whistling and clapping.

“Hi, gorgeous.” He sets me back on my feet and brushes away my tears.

“You’re back.”

He smiles. “Let’s go home. I’m not sharing you tonight.” He steps off the stage and holds out his hand.

I take it and follow him through the crowd. As we pass my table, I tug on him to stop. Grabbing my purse off the chair, I grin at the gaping mouths and jealous smiles aimed at me.

“I’ll explain Monday.” I wink at the girls and follow Oliver. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” I fist his shirt and pull him to me as we step out onto the sidewalk.

He kisses me and it’s mind-numbing, shooting stars, and a grand finale of fireworks all at once. I despise the three blocks between us and home, specifically our bed.

“And ruin the surprise?” He rubs his nose against mine.

“I can’t believe you did that in there. Oli, you can seriously sing.”

He interlaces our fingers and leads me down the sidewalk. “Well, one of us should be able to.”

“Oh my gosh! I thought you did that to serenade me, a romantic grand gesture. But you did it to block me from singing!” I punch him in the arm.

He chuckles. “I was serenading you. The fact that we left before you got a chance to sing was just a happy coincidence.”

I pull my hand from his and stomp ahead of him.

“Miss Graham, if you don’t stop strutting your sexy ass like a pendulum in that dress and those shoes, I’m going to have to take you into the alley and show you how desperate I am for you right now.”

My insides melt with his words, and I hope the evidence of that doesn’t start running down my leg since it’s a panty-free night for me. I didn’t want them to get in the way if the freshman initiation pissing opportunity presented itself.

“Sorry, Konrad Rosenberg, your threats need to be more believable.”

“Are you a little tipsy, Vivian? It doesn’t look like you’re walking too straight.”

“No, I’m just artificially confident and chemically relaxed.” I laugh at my own joke. It was a good one; at least after those three beers it sounds funny to me. “Eee!” I squeal as he grabs my waist and pulls me into the alley.

Oliver pins me against the wall with his body, his warm breath heavy on my face. The carnal need in his intense eyes and firm lips evaporates all humor between us. Strong hands slide down my arms and around to my ass. He squeezes it with a sudden jerk toward him. His arousal nudging my abdomen.

“Oli—”

He presses his mouth to mine and our tongues explore with determined strokes. My hands tug the button on his jeans until it’s released. The zipper follows and my hand kneads and strokes him through his briefs as he rocks his pelvis into my touch. He moans into my mouth with deep intensity.

His hands clench my dress, yanking it up once. I hum into his mouth with untamed anticipation. He grips my dress lower and yanks up one more time, completely exposing me from the waist down.

I wait for him to chastise me for my lack of panties, but he doesn’t. His right hand moves mine off his erection. He releases himself and with his left hand he hitches my leg to his waist and thrusts into me.

“Oh God!” I yell, letting my head fall back as his invasion stretches the part of me that’s forgotten the capacity of his touch.

Oli grabs the back of my head and pulls my lips to his again, muting my cries. I grip his hair holding him with just as much need while releasing small whimpers. I’ve missed him so much his touch is almost painful. Our bodies are starving and can’t get close enough—can’t find that release fast enough. He moves in me with the speed and determination of a race horse coming around the last turn. His upward momentum collides with my downward descent, sending a crescendo of pleasure through my body. My mouth goes slack, my standing knee buckles, and he digs all his fingers into my legs slamming me onto him one last time while pressing me to the wall.

“Oh shit … that … was …” His head falls to my shoulder as his labored lungs search for oxygen. He dots a trail of feathery kisses up my neck, stopping at my ear. “I’ve missed you like doughnuts would miss coffee.”

I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you more, like peanut butter would miss jelly or hot chocolate would miss marshmallows.”

He grabs my other leg and hoists me up around his waist and kisses me again, taking his time, savoring this moment. “My love…” Oli looks at me with soft eyes and a growing smile. “I’ve missed you like my heart would miss its own beat.”

Oliver

Raven hair fanned out on a pillow. I never imagined I could love the sight of a pillow again. I was wrong. Vivian magically makes everything … better. Twenty-four hours ago I was three-thousand miles away and miserable. Now I’m me. Oliver, who loves rowing and dinner with friends and family. I’m the boy who dreamed of playing for the Red Sox from the moment I got my first baseball glove. I’m the guy who wants to call up his buddies from college and see if they want to play basketball in the park. This Oliver wants to hold on to the woman next to him forever.

I trace her tattoo as she sleeps on her stomach. Then I kiss every cluster of buds that I know hides her scars. But I don’t see them and I can’t feel them. It’s become impossible for me to see anything but a beautiful, radiant woman through and through.

“Good morning, babe.” She rolls toward me so her back is against my chest.

I wrap her in my arms and kiss the top of her head. “It’s the best morning.”

She traces gentle circles on my arms with her nails. “Can I ask you something?”

I laugh. “You just did.”

“I’m serious.”

“Yes. You can ask me anything.”

She pauses. I feel the weight of her question before she ever asks it.

“Why can’t you have children anymore?”

I release the breath that I’ve been holding. “Because I did some stupid shit after what happened.”

“Like drugs?”

“Like selling almost everything we owned and burning what wouldn’t sell, like our wedding album, and all our other photos, except for one.”

“The one of Melanie?”

I nod against her shoulder as I kiss it.

“So are you saying all the heat from the burning caused damage to your sperm like a hot tub or something?”

I chuckle. “No. It’s true about losing a child: It’s the ultimate loss. At the time I knew only one thing for sure—I never wanted to experience that again. So I got a vasectomy.”

“Do you regret it?”

“I regret making rash decisions at the time, even if they weren’t all wrong decisions.”

She turns in my arms to face me. “Was the vasectomy a wrong decision?”

I let myself fall into her eyes because I know somehow all the answers I’ll ever need are in there. “It was if you want to have children with me.”

“Do you want to have children with me?”

I kiss her forehead. “I want you and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

My lungs deflate, she does that to me—strips me down, exposes my weaknesses, and takes the part of me I don’t willingly give.

“I can’t imagine ever wanting children again because I can’t look at a baby right now and not see Melanie. But the only thing that’s more unimaginable than that is living without you.”

She kisses me, awakening my whole body. I have to remind a certain part that this is a serious moment and it’s not being called into action despite the mixed signals percolating through my mind.

“I love you and I’m so glad you’re home.” She nuzzles into my neck. “Mmm … it was a slow torture, but I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want you to feel rushed or conflicted. But now that you’re home I can say it…” she kisses her way down my chest “…I was miserable.” Her tongue teases over my abs. “God, I missed you.”

My dick hardens under her touch. She strokes me a few times with a desirous grin on her face, eyes locked on mine.

“Vivian …” I need to tell her.

“Hmm?” She sits up and straddles me.

“I need…” my thoughts begin to drift as she guides my hands to her breasts “…to tell you…” I squeeze her perky tits in my hands, circling my thumbs over her nipples. “…something.” My words are nothing more than a strained whisper.

She sinks onto me with a soft moan. “What’s that, babe … mmm …” She closes her eyes as I fill her.

“Nothing … it’s nothing.”

I’ll admit it, I’m such a guy. Sex trumps everything. The few times I’ve managed to resist her seductress temptations can only be described as aliens taking over my brain. I should have called and told her my plans. The surprise, while priceless, was not worth the pain I’m going to cause.

“Where are you going?”

She slips on her clothes and pulls her hair back. “I have to work today, but just until one.”

“But I just got here.” What the hell! I sound like a whiny kid.

“I know, I’ll make it up to you later and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next …” She winks and blows me a kiss.

I sit up in bed, running my fingers through my hair as I sigh. “Vivian, I’m not staying.”

She peeks around the corner with her toothbrush in her mouth. “What do you mean?” She mumbles over a mouthful of toothpaste suds.

I slip into my shorts and stand at the entrance to the bathroom. “I’m just here for the weekend. I needed to get a few things … I leave again tomorrow.”

She freezes with the toothbrush still in her mouth and stares with a blank expression at my reflection in the mirror.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to surprise you. I should have called and told you before I came home.”

Her eyes fall to the sink. She spits and tosses her toothbrush in the cup.

“Okay, I’ll just see you later then.” She squeezes past me without making eye contact.

I grab her arm. “Vivian …”

She yanks it from my grip. “No, it’s fine. Maybe we can go someplace nice for dinner or something. I have to go. We’ll talk later.”

I chase her down the stairs. “Vivian, wait!” I push the front door closed just as she opens it. “Don’t, please don’t do this.”

Her forehead thumps against the door and her sobs fill the air.

“I’m so sorry.” I turn her around and pull her into my arms. She doesn’t hug me back. Instead, she keeps her hands over her face.

My anger inside is fueled by her tears. Caroline is a lost cause and maybe I am too. I’m so fucking confused.

“I’m s-sorry.” She pulls away and shakes her head while wiping away her tears. “You don’t need this.”

I turn and take a few steps away with my hands planted on my hips. “Dammit! Stop apologizing. This is not your fault. This is me all me! My fucked-up life is sucking everything out of you. I wish…” I look to the ceiling, releasing an exasperated breath “…I wish I could just let go.”

She sucks in her quivering lower lip and swallows hard. “I have to go.”

My head falls, shoulders slump, and the door bangs shut.

Vivian

In the off-season The Green Pot closes at noon on Saturdays. Most days Maggie and I stay until one cleaning up and chatting. Today I don’t feel chatty.

“Spill it, Viv.”

“Spill what?” I ask, carrying in the mums from the sidewalk.

“You showed up late this morning with puffy eyes and you’ve been sulking ever since.”

“Oliver’s back.”

“Sweetie, that’s great … isn’t it?”

“He’s leaving again tomorrow.”

She stamps the back of the checks. “Well, at least he came for a visit, right?”

I frown. “He came back to get some stuff. The visit part is just a perk, if you can call it that.”

“He came back to see you, Viv. There’s nothing he forgot that he can’t pick up in Portland, except you.”

“You think so?”

She crooks her finger at me. I mope over to her.

“Come here.” She hugs me. “I know so. He loves you and being away from you has to be killing him. Besides, I’ve been so proud of you the past couple of months. You’re doing great in school, you still find time to help me out, and until today, I haven’t seen you be anything short of your jovial self.”

I step back and tug at my lower lip with a grimace. “Yeah, well it’s sort of been an act. I’m pretty driven so the school and work part has been easy, the jovial part … not so much. Honestly, I’ve been miserable on the inside. Life without Oliver is dull and lifeless. I shine when he’s here. I feel confident by his side and beautiful in his eyes.” I laugh. “I know it sounds so pathetic. I shouldn’t need a man to have that.”

“You’re right, you don’t need a man, Vivian. But life sure is a lot more fun with them.”

We both laugh.

“Thanks, Maggie. You’re the pep-talk queen.”

“Rosenberg,” I call, opening the front door. I look up as Oliver walks down the stairs holding him. Rosenberg barks and runs to me after Oliver sets him down.

“Hey,” he says with a sad, I-know-I’ve-hurt-you smile.

“Hey.” I pick up Rosenberg.

“Are we on for dinner at my parents’ tonight?”

“Yeah, whatever you want.” I slip off my shoes and go into the kitchen for a drink.

“Are you mad?”

I draw in a breath and hold it while my brain formulates the politically correct answer. “No, I’m not mad.”

Yes, I’m mad and I’m not sure why or even who I’m mad at. Oliver, for having a past? Myself for falling in love with him? Caroline? Her parents?

“Don’t lie. I know you’re mad.”

I set Rosenberg down and shake my head. Men are idiots; I swear it’s as much a part of the Y chromosome as their penis.

“Well if you know I’m mad, then why ask?” Sarcasm drenches every word.

“What do you want me to do?” He shoves his hands in his pockets.

I grab a glass and fill it with water. “I want you to do whatever it is you need to do, and I can’t tell you what that is because I don’t know.” I take a sip of water. “Talk to your mom or get help from someone else. Stay in Portland until Caroline gets better—”

“She won’t get better.”

“Then stay there until your in-laws are happy or until you can find closure! I don’t know, Oli!” I slam the glass down on the counter.

His brows tense. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I have some studying to do before we leave later.” I walk past him to the stairs with my little lamb, Rosenberg, following me, Oliver too.

I walk toward our closet to change my clothes. The hanging bags on the bed catch my attention. They’re not zipped up yet so I can see Oliver’s suits and dress shirts in them. Near the foot of the bed are his ties and dress shoes. “You going to church in Portland?”

“Work.”

I stop just inside the closet and turn toward him. “Work?”

“The firm where I used to work …”

I nod once.

“…one of the partners is going on maternity leave soon, and I’m going to help out. Make some money and find a way to occupy my time during the day since I can’t go see Caroline until later in the afternoon.”

My heart leaps into my throat. “How long will she be on maternity leave?”

“I’m not sure. She’s having twins so my guess is at least twelve weeks.”

Turning, I suck in a shaky breath which is incredibly hard to do since his confession just punched me in the gut. I pull off my T-shirt and push down my cargo pants.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice is a breath away as his hands ghost down my arms.

I step away and grab a pair of jeans and a sweater. I dress with quick moves and turn to him. “I have to study.”

He eyes the entire length of my body and nods. His face goes slack as he rubs the back of his neck. Disappointment radiates from him. Join the club, is all I can think.