Kirkland Revels

Chapter 4

When I entered the house Matthew and Sarah were waiting for me. They both embraced me and handled me with such care that I might have been a piece of porcelain ; which made me smile.

” I don’t break, you know,” I said, and that started everything on the right note.

” Your news … your wonderful news!” murmured Sarah, wiping her eyes, although I saw no tears.

” This means so much to us all,” Sir Matthew told me ” It is a great consolation.”

” We’ve been telling her that,” Ruth put in. ” Haven’t we, Luke?”

Luke smiled with a return of his camaraderie. ” Have we, Catherine?” he asked.

I avoided answering by smiling at him.

” I expect Catherine is tired and would like to go to her room,” said Ruth. ” Shall I have tea sent up, Catherine?”

” That would be nice.”

” Luke, ring for one of the maids. Come along, Catherine Your trunk has already gone up.”

Sir Matthew and Sarah followed Ruth and myself up the stairs.

” I’ve put you on the first floor of the south wing,” Ruth explained.

” You won’t want too many stairs, and this is a very pleasant room.”

” If you don’t like it,” Sir Matthew said hurriedly, ” you must tell us, my dear.”

” How kind you are!” I murmured.

” You could come near me.” Sarah’s voice was high pitched with excitement. ” That would be very nice … very nice indeed.”

” I think the room I have chosen will be most suitable.” said Ruth.

We passed the minstrels’ gallery and went up the staircase to the first floor. We then went along a short corridor in which were two doors. Ruth opened the second of these to disclose my room.

It was an almost exact replica of that which I had shared with Gabriel, even to the powder closet, and I saw from the windows, which gave me a view of the lawns and of the Abbey, that it was in a similar position although two floors below.

” It is very pleasant,” I said; I looked at the decorated ceiling from which cherubs, encircling the chandelier in the centre, looked down upon me. My bed was a four-poster as were almost all in the house, I believed; there were blue silk curtains about it, and these matched those of blue damask at the windows. My carpet was blue. There was an enormous fireplace, a wardrobe and several chairs besides an oak chest over which hung a brass warming-pan. There was a red glow in the highly polished brass which came from a bowl of red roses, put there I guessed by Ruth.

I smiled at her. ” Thank you,” I said.

She inclined her head in acknowledgement, but I could not help wondering whether she was really pleased to see me or would have been happier if, when I had left the Revels, I had” gone out of her life for ever. I was sure her welcome could not be wholehearted because of what the birth of a son to me would mean to Luke. She adored Luke, I was fully aware of that; and now that I was to be a mother myself I understood how ambitious one could become on one’s children’s behalf, and I felt no resentment against Ruth even if she did towards me.

” This should be convenient for you,” she went on quickly.

” It is kind of you to take so much trouble.”

Sir Matthew was beaming at me. ” You are going to be put to a lot of trouble for us,” he told me. ” We are delighted … delighted. I’ve told Deverel Smith he’s got to keep me alive by hook or by crook by potions or spells to see my new grandson.”

“You have determined on the sex.”

” Of course I have, my dear. Haven’t a doubt of it. You were meant to be the mother of boys.”

“I want you to come and see my tapestries, Hagar, my dear,” murmured Sarah. ” You will, won’t you? Ill show you the cradle. All Rockwells use that cradle.”

” It will have to be overhauled within the next months.” Ruth put in practically. ” And this is Catherine, Aunt Sarah.”

” Of course it’s Catherine,” said Aunt Sarah indignantly. ” We’re good friends. She so liked my tapestry.”

” I expect she would like to rest now.”

” We must not tire her,” agreed Sir Matthew.

Ruth nodded towards Aunt Sarah significantly, and Sir Matthew took his sister’s arm.

” We shall be able to talk to her when she is rested,” he said; and, smiling once more at me, he led his sister away.

Ruth sighed as the door shut on them. ” I’m afraid she’s becoming rather a trial. Her memory’s so up and down. Sometimes she’ll reel off all the dates of our births without an effort. It seems absurd that she can’t remember to which of us she’s talking.”

” I suppose that happens when one grows older.”

” I hope I escape that. There’s a saying, Those whom the gods love die young.” Sometimes I think it’s true. “

I immediately thought of Gabriel. Was he loved by the gods? I did not think so.

” Please don’t talk of dying,” I said.

” I’m sorry. How silly of me. That tea should be along soon. I expect you need it, don’t you?”

” It will be refreshing.”

She went to the bowl of roses and began rearranging them.

” They remind me …” I began; and she looked at me interrogatively, so I had to go on. “… of those you put in the room when I first arrived here.”

” Oh … I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me I suppose.” I guessed she was thinking that they would have to be careful in future, that when a tragedy had happened it was necessary to be very tactful to avoid bringing back memories.

One of the maids came in with the tea; she bobbed a curtsy to me and I said, ” Good afternoon, Mary Jane

Mary-Jane set the tea down on a table by the window and I thanked her.

” Mary-Jane will be your personal maid,” Ruth said. ” She will answer your bell.”

I was pleased. Mary-Jane was a rather tall, fresh-faced young woman who I was sure would be honest and conscientious. Because I showed my pleasure she allowed me to see hers, and I believed I had a friend in the house.

Ruth went over to the tray. ” She has brought two cups,” she said. “

Shall I join you?”

“Please do.”

” Then you sit down, and I’ll bring yours to you.”

I took the chair near the bed because I did not wish at this moment, to look out of the window. I kept thinking of Gabriel and telling myself that anyone looking out of this window at the time of his accident would have seen him falling.

Ruth handed me the cup of tea; then she brought a foot stool and made me rest my feet.

” We’re going to watch over you,” she said, ” all of us.”

But I thought how cold her eyes were and that the note of friendship in her voice seemed forced.

Here I go I thought. No sooner do I come to this house than my fancies grow.

“We are going to watch over you.” lt could be ambiguous.

She went to the table by the window and sat down there. She talked of what had been happening during my absence. Sir Matthew had recovered from his attack, but he was getting too old for attacks nowadays, and Deverel Smith was worried. ” Last week,” she said, ” he stayed all night. He’s so good. He gives himself to his patients quite selflessly. There was no need for him to stay. We could have called him. But tie insisted.”

” Some doctors are very noble,” I agreed.

” Poor Deverel, I don’t think his home life is very happy.”

” Really? I know little about his family.”

” Damaris is the only child. Mrs. Smith must be a great trial to him.

She is supposed to be an invalid. I would call tier a hypochondriac.

I imagine she indulges in illness as a way of attracting attention to herself. “

” Does she never go out?”

” Rarely. She is supposed to be too ill. I imagine that the doctor has made his profession his whole life because of the state of his domestic affairs. Of course he dotes on Damaris.”

” She is so very beautiful. Is her mother like her?”

” There is a resemblance, but Muriel was never half as beautiful as her daughter.”

” If she were half as beautiful she would be extremely attractive.”

“Yes, indeed. I’m so sorry for Damaris. I planned to give a ball for her, and for Luke too. But of course now that we are in mourning that is out of the question … for this year at least.

” She is fortunate to have such a good friend in you.” ^ ” We are fortunate to have such a good doctor. Would you care for more tea?”

” No, thank you. I have had enough.”

” I expect you want to unpack. Would you care for me to send Mary-Jane along to help you?”

I hesitated. Then I said I would; and she went out and shortly afterwards Mary-Jane appeared with another of the maids who took the tea-tray away, leaving Mary-Jane with me.

I watched Mary-Jane kneeling by my trunk taking out my clothes.

” I shall have to buy some new clothes soon,” I said. ” These will not fit me.”

Mary-Jane smiled. ” Yes, madam,” she said.

She was about my height and it occurred to me that she might like some of my clothes when I grew too large for them. I would give them to her.

” You look pleased, Mary Jane

” It’s t’news, madam. And I’m right glad to see you back.”

There was no doubt of her sincerity, and it made me happy.

The house was beginning to have an odd effect on me;

I had only been in it an hour or so and I was already looking round for friends . and enemies.

” It’ll be a long time to wait,” I said.

” Yes, madam. My sister’s expecting. Hers will be born in five months’ time. We’re hoping for a boy … though if it’s a girl, reckon we won’t fret about that.”

” Your sister, Mary-Jane? So you have a family.”

” Oh yes, madam. Etty’s husband works up at Kelly Grange, and they’ve a fine cottage on testate. At t’lodge, madam, and all their firewood free. It’s her first…. I get down to see her when I can.”

“I’m sure you do. You must let me know how she gets on. We have something in common, Mary Jane

She smiled. ” Time was, our Etty got terrible scared. The first .. that’s what it is. But they both was scared. Jim as well. First she’s scared she’s going to die; then she wonders whether the baby’s going to be a wreck ling Yes, scared our Ett was, that when t’baby was born it ‘ud be short of something. But Jim asked the doctor to see her and he put her right. He was wonderful to her. He’s a wonderful man .

the doctor. “

” Dr. Smith?”

” Oh … aye. He’s kind. Don’t care now whether you be gentry or poor folk. He said: Don’t you fret. Mrs. Hard- castle—baby won’t be a wreck ling or now’t like it. There’s every sign it’ll be bonny.”

That set our Ett to rights. “

” We are fortunate,” I said, ” to have such a good doctor to look after us.”

She smiled. And I felt happier at the sight of her, shaking out my clothes and hanging them in the wardrobe. With her not uncomely person and her bright Yorkshire good sense, she brought normality into the room.

After dinner that first evening we were all assembled in one of the sitting-rooms on the first floor—not far from my own room—when Dr.

Smith was announced.

” Bring him up,” said Ruth; and as the door closed on the servant, she said to me: ” He comes at all times. He’s so attentive.”

” He fusses too much,” grumbled Sir Matthew. ” I’m all right now.”

As Dr. Smith came into the room he was, I was sure, looking for me.

” I’m so pleased to see you, Mrs. Rockwell,” he said.

“You know the reason why she’s returned, eh?” Sir Matthew asked.

” Indeed I do. I prophesy that by the end of the week there won’t be one person in the village who doesn’t know it. I can assure you that it makes me happy … very happy.”

” You are not alone in that,” said Sir Matthew.

“We are going through the nursery together,” announced Sarah like a young child who had been promised a special treat.

” In fact,” put in Luke—and was his voice mildly sardonic? “—we are preparing to join in the chorus while Catherine sings the Magnificat.”

There was a slightly shocked silence at this irreverence, but Dr.

Smith said quickly: “We must take great care of Mrs. Rockwell.”

” We are all determined to do that,” Ruth assured him.

The doctor came over to me and took my hand briefly in his. There was a certain magnetism about this man, of which I think I had been aware before, but which now struck me forcibly. He was outstandingly handsome in his dark way, and I knew that he was capable of deep feeling. I guessed that, disappointed in his marriage as he must be, he sublimated his desires for a wife’s affection in his devotion to his patients. “ noticed that Sir Matthew, although complaining of his overzealousness, was nevertheless pleased to see him, and it was clear to me that the old man felt comforted by his presence. I remembered what Mary-Jane had said of his kindness to her sister. The people of this neighbourhood perhaps should thank that unsatisfactory wife of his since his devotion to their needs was the stronger because of her.

” I know you are so fond of riding,” he said. ” but I don’t think I should indulge in it too frequently … not after this month at any rate.”

” I won’t,” I promised.

” You’ll be a good and sensible young lady, I am sure of that.”

” Have you been visiting Worstwhistle to-day?” asked Ruth ” I have,” said the doctor.

“And it has depressed you. That place always does.” Ruth turned to me.

” Dr. Smith gives his services free, not only to patients who cannot afford to pay, but to this … hospital.”

” Oh come,” cried the doctor, laughing, ” don’t make a saint of me.

Someone has to look in on those people now and then . and don’t forget if I have poor patients here I also have rich ones. I fleece the rich to help the poor. “

” A regular Robin Hood,” said Luke.

Dr. Smith turned to Sir Matthew.

“Well, sir,” he said. ” I’m going to have a look at you today.”

“You think it’s necessary?”

” I think that since I am here …”

” Very well,” said Sir Matthew rather testily, ” but first of all you must join us in a toast. I’m going to have some of my best champagne brought up from the cellars. Luke, ring the bell.”

Luke did so and Sir Matthew gave the order.

The wine was brought, the glasses filled.

Sir Matthew filled his glass and cried: ” To my grandson.” He put his arm about me while we all drank.

Very soon after that the doctor went with Sir Matthew to his room and I went to mine. Mary-Jane, determined to be a real lady’s maid, was turning down the bed for me.

” Thank you, Mary Jane

” Is there anything else you’ll be wanting, madam?”

I did not think there was, so I said good night to her, but as she went to the door I called: ” By the way, Mary Jane do you know a place called Worstwhistle?” She stopped short and stared at me.

“Why, yes, madam. It’s some ten miles off on the way Harrogate.”

“What sort of place is it, Mary Jane

” It’s the place where mad people go.”

” Oh, I see. Good night, Mary Jane

The next morning I was awakened by Mary-Jane, who came in to draw the curtains and bring my hot water.

It was comforting to wake up and see her pleasant face. She was, looking a little shocked because there had been no need to draw the curtains as I had pulled them back before getting into bed; and I had opened the window. Mary Jane shared the belief that night air was ” dangerous.”

I told her that I always slept with my window open, except in the depth of winter; and I was sure that she had decided I should need a great deal of looking after.

I took my bath in the powder-room and went along to the first-floor dining-room for breakfast. I felt quite hungry. Two mouths to feed now, I reminded myself, as I took eggs, bacon and devilled kidneys from the chafing dish on the sideboard.

I knew the routine. Breakfast was taken between eight and nine, and one helped oneself.

I rang for coffee and when it was brought to me I was joined by Luke.

Later Ruth appeared and solicitously asked if I had had a good night and liked my room.

Had I any plans for the day? they wanted to know. Luke was going to Ripon and would be delighted to buy anything I needed. I thanked him and told him that I should need things, but I had not yet decided what.

“There’s plenty of time before the happy event,” he said; and his mother murmured his name indulgently, because she thought it was somewhat indelicate to refer to the birth of my child. I did not mind. It was something I wanted to think oi continually.

I told them that I would take a little walk during the morning; I was longing to have a look at the Abbey again.

“The place appeals strongly to you,” remarked Luke. ” I believe it’s the main reason why you wanted to come back here.”

” It would interest anyone,” I answered.

” You must not exhaust yourself,” Ruth warned me.

” I feel very fit, so I don’t think there’s any danger of that.”

” All the same you have to remember to take care.” The conversation turned to the affairs of the neighbour hood: the effort of the vicar to raise money for the upkeep of the church, the bazaars and jumble sales he was organising for this purpose, the ball which a friend was giving and which we could not attend as we were in mourning.

The sun streamed through the windows of that pleasant room and there was certainly nothing eerie about Kirkland Revels that morning. Even the Abbey, which I visited a few hours later, appeared to be nothing but a pile of ruins.

So that was a pleasant walk. I felt serene, ready to accept the theory that Gabriel had killed himself because of his illness. It seemed strange that I should feel more contented to believe that, but I did; perhaps it was because I was afraid of the alternative.

I came back though the Abbey ruins. It was very quiet- peaceful was the word to describe it this morning. This was merely a shell; the brilliant sunshine falling on to the grass floors, exposing the crumbling walls, defied that sense of the supernatural. I thought back to the evening when I walked here and panicked, and I laughed at my folly.

Luncheon was a quiet meal which I shared with Ruth and Luke, Sir Matthew and Aunt Sarah taking theirs in their rooms.

Afterwards I went to my room and began making out a list of things I should need. It was early, yet I was so impatient for the birth of my child that I could not wait While I was thus engaged there was a knock on my door, and when I called, ” Come in,” Sarah stood on the threshold, smiling as though we were a pair of conspirators.

” I want to show you the nursery,” she said. ” Will you come with me?”

I rose without reluctance, for I was eager to see the nursery ” It’s in my wing,” she went on. ” I often go up to the nursery.” She giggled.

“That’s why they say I’m in my second childhood.”

“I’m sure they don’t say that,” I told her, and her face puckered a little.

” They do,” she said. ” I like it. If you can’t be in your first childhood, the next best thing is to be in your second.”

” I should love to see the nurseries,” I said. ” Please show me now.”

Her face was smooth and happy again. ” Come along.”

We mounted the staircase to the top floor. I felt an involuntary tremor as I passed that corridor which led to our old room and the front of the house, for my memories of Gabriel and Friday, which I was constantly trying to suppress, were as vivid as they had ever been; but Aunt Sarah did not seem to notice my mood; she was intent on leading me into the east wing and the nursery.

I was struck once more by the change in her as we entered her section of the house; she seemed almost girlish and very happy.

” Right at the top,” she murmured, as she led the way up a short flight of stairs. ” The schoolroom, the day nursery, the night nursery.

Nanny’s quarters and those of the under- nursemaid.” She opened a door and said in a hushed voice:

” This is the schoolroom.”

I saw a large room with three windows, all of which were fitted with window-seats; the slightly sloping ceiling told me that we were immediately below the roof. I found my eyes fixed on the windows which had bars across them in accordance with nursery tradition. My child would be safe up here.

There was a large table close to one of the windows and beside it a long form. I went over to this table and saw the cuts and scratches on it; it must have been used by many generations of Rockwells.

” Look,” cried Sarah. ” Can you read that?”

I leaned forward and saw the name Hagar Rock well carved there with a penknife.

” She always put her name on everything,” Sarah laughed on a gleeful note. ” If you went through this house peering into cupboards and such places you would see her name. Our father said she ought to have been the boy instead of Matthew. She used to bully us all … especially Matthew. She was annoyed with him for being the boy. Of course if she had been the boy … she would be here now. wouldn’t she? … and Simon would have been … But perhaps that’s not exactly right … because he’s a Redvers. Oh dear, it’s a little complicated is it not?

But she was not the son, and so it was Matthew.”

” Hagar is Simon Redvers’s grandmother?” I asked.

Sarah nodded. ” She thinks the world of him.” She came close to me.

” She’d like to see him here … but she won’t now, will she? There’s the child … and there’s Luke too … both before Simon. The child first…. I shall have to get some more silks.”

” You’re thinking that my child will make his appearance on your tapestries.” lOt ” Are you going to call him Gabriel?”

I was astonished, and I wondered how she had guessed my thoughts. She was studying me, her head on one side; now she looked infinitely wise as simple people sometimes do.

” It may not be a boy,” I said.

She merely nodded as though there was no doubt of it.

“Little Gabriel will take big Gabriel’s place,” she said ” Nobody can stop him, can they?” Her face puckered suddenly. ” Can they?” she repeated.

” If the child is a boy he will take his father’s place.”

” But his father died. He killed himself … they said so Did he kill himself?” She had caught my arm and held ii tightly.

“You said he didn’t. Who did? Tell me, please tell me.”

“Aunt Sarah,” I said quickly, “when Gabriel died I was distraught.

Perhaps I did not know what I said. He must have killed himself. “

She dropped my arm and looked at me reproachfully.

” I’m disappointed in you,” she said, pouting. Then her mood changed at once.

“We all sat at that table. Hagar the cleverest of us all—and the eldest—so you see it would have been best…. Then Simon would have been…. Our governesses did not like her though. They all liked Matthew He was the favourite. All women liked Matthew. I was the stupid one. I could not learn my lessons.”

” Never mind,” I soothed. ” You could draw beautifully; and your tapestry work will be here for years and years after we are all dead. “

Her face lightened. Then she began to laugh. ” I used to sit here, Matthew there … and Hagar at that end of the table Our governess was always at the other end. Hagar said she should sit at the head of the table because she was the eldest She could do everything … except drawing and needlework. I beat her there. Hagar was a tomboy. You should have seen her on horseback. She used to ride to hounds with our father. She was his favourite. Once she climbed up to the window nearly at the top of me Abbey tower. She could not get down and they had to send two of the gardeners with ladders. She was sent to her room for a whole day on bread and water; but she did not care. She said it was worth it.” She came close to me and whispered: “She said:

“If you want to do something, do it and then think about paying for it afterwards—and if you’ve done it, you must not mind what you have to pay for it’”

” She was a forceful character, your sister Hagar.”

” Our father liked to take her round the estate with him. He was sorry when she married John Redvers. Then the trouble started with Matthew.

He was sent down from Oxford. There was a young woman there. I remember that day. The girl came here to see Father. I watched them from where they couldn’t see me; I heard it all. “

” From the minstrels’ gallery,” I said.

She giggled. ” They did not think to look up there.”

She sat down at the table in that place which she had occupied to learn her lessons; and I knew that the reason for her youthfulness in this part of the house was due to the fact that here she relived her youth.

I was sure that all her memories of the past would be flawless; it was only in the present that she was uncertain whether she was talking to Catherine or Claire, Gabriel’s or Matthew’s wife.

” Trouble,” she brooded, ” always trouble about women. He was well into his thirties before he married, and they went more than ten years without a child. Then Ruth was born. All that time Hagar thought it would be her son Peter who’d be master of Revels. Then Mark and Gabriel were born. Poor little Mark! But there was still Gabriel left.

Then Luke was born . so you see Hagar was not happy about that. ” She rose from the table. She took me to the cupboard and showed me the marks on the wall there. There were three lines marked with the initials H. M. and S. ” Her Majesty’s Ship,” I murmured.

” Oh no,” said Sarah earnestly. ” Hagar, Matthew and Sarah. Those were our heights. Matthew shot up past her after that, and then Hagar wouldn’t measure any more. I want to show you the night and day nurseries.”

I followed her from the schoolroom and with her explored that part of the house which had been the children’s domain through the centuries.

I noticed with satisfaction that all the windows were barred. In the day nursery was a great oak chest, and this Sarah opened. In here were stored the Rockwell christening robes and she brought them out reverently for my inspection.

They were beautifully made of white silk and lace which I guessed were priceless.

” I must examine them,” she said. ” I may have to mend part of the lace. The last time they were used was for Luke. That’s nearly eighteen years ago. He was not a good baby. None of our babies were good babies. I shall take these to my room. I shall allow no one to touch them except myself. I shall have them ready for you when you need them.”

“Thank you. Aunt Sarah.”

I looked at the watch pinned to my bodice and saw that it was four o’clock.

” It’s tea time,” I said. ” I had no idea. How quickly the time passes when one is interested !” She did not answer me; she was clutching the christening robe to her breast, and I believed that in her imagination she was already nursing the baby—or perhaps some other baby from the past—Ruth, Mark, Gabriel or Luke.

” I am going down to tea,” I told her; but she did not answer me.

It was some days later when Ruth came to my room with a letter.

“One of the servants from Kelly Grange brought this over,” she said.

“For me?” I asked, astonished.

” Undoubtedly for you. Mrs. Gabriel Rockwell’—it says it distinctly on the envelope.”

Ruth was smiling as though she were amused when she handed this to me, and as she did not attempt to go I murmured, ” Excuse me,” and read it.

It was formal; almost like a command.

If Mrs. Gabriel Rockwell will call at Kelly Grange on Friday at 3. 30

Mrs. Hagar Rockwell-Redvers will be pleased to receive her.

Because I had already crosed swords with Mrs. Hagar Redvers’s grandson, I was prepared to do so with her. I flushed faintly with annoyance.

” A royal command?” asked Ruth with a smile.

I passed the invitation to her.

” It’s characteristic of my Aunt Hagar,” she said. ” I really believe she’s of the opinion that she is head of the family. She wants to inspect you.”

” I have no intention of being inspected,” I retorted rather sharply.

” The inspection in any case would be rather useless at this stage.”

“She’s very old,” said Ruth apologetically.

“She’s older than my father. She can’t be far off ninety. You have to go carefully with her.”

I said quickly: “I have decided that I shall not go to call on Friday.”

Ruth shrugged.

“The servant’s waiting,” she said.

“My aunt will expect a reply.”

” She shall have that,” I answered; and sat down at my writing-table and wrote:

Mrs. Gabriel Rockwell regrets that she is unable to call on Mrs.

Hagar Rockwell-Redvers at Kelly Grange on Friday at 3. 30. Ruth took the note from me. She was clearly amused.

I stood at my window watching the messenger from Kelly Grange ride away, and I thought: So it is from his Grandmother that he gets his arrogance.

Early the following week I was on the front lawn when Simon Redvers rode up to the house.

He leaped from his horse, lifted his hat to greet me, then shouted to one of the grooms as though he were the master of this house and its servants.

” Mrs. Catherine,” he said, ” I am pleased to find you at home because it was to see you that I have ridden over from the Grange.”

I had not seen him since my return and I thought he looked larger, and more arrogant than ever. I endeavoured to look as dignified as possible as I said: “Pray tell me what your business is with me.”

As soon as his horse was taken from him he came towards me; he was smiling almost ingratiatingly.

” May I say that it is a great pleasure to see you here again?”

” You may say it if you wish to.”

” You are still angry with me.”

“I have not forgotten certain remarks you made to me before I left.”

” Do you harbour resentments then?”

“If they are as insulting as those you made, yes.”

” I am sorry about that because I have come to apologise.”

“Indeed!”

“Mrs. Catherine, I am a forthright Yorkshireman, and you are a Yorkshire woman, and therefore forthright also. We are no dandified southerners to wrap up our thoughts in pretty phrases. I cannot pretend to possess the manners and style of a gentleman of London.”

” I am sure it would be useless for you to make such a pretence.”

He laughed. ” You have a sharp tongue, Mrs. Catherine.” I was not altogether displeased by his method of addressing me. I found Mrs.

Rockwell formal, and naturally I did not wish him to use my Christian name alone.

” I can only hope that it will be a match for yours on those occasions when we are obliged to meet.”

” I hope those occasions will be many, and that while we sharpen our tongues we shall also sharpen our wits.”

” What did you wish to say to me?”

” I wished to ask your pardon for certain unmannerly remarks I made at our last meeting. I have come to offer my congratulations, and to wish you good health and happiness.”

“So you have changed your mind concerning me?”

” I hope I shall not do that, because I always admired you. But I sincerely ask your pardon. May I explain my feelings? Let us say that I was angered by the loss of one who was as my brother. I am the type who loses control of his tongue in anger, Mrs. Catherine. One of my less worthy traits, of which I fear there are many.”

” Then let us say no more of the incident.”

” So you will forgive and forget?”

” Forgiveness is so much easier to grant than forgetfulness. I promise you the first. The second … I hope will come.”

” You are gracious, Mrs. Catherine, beyond my deserts. Now I am going to ask a favour of you.”

“Ah!” I said.

” Not for myself,” he added hastily, ” but for my grand mother. She has asked you to visit her.”

” It was scarcely a request.”

He laughed. ” You must forgive her methods. She is used to authority. It is a great grief to her that she has not seen you, and it would give her much pleasure if you would pass over the manner of her asking and remember that she is a very old lady, rarely able to leave the house.”

” Did she send you to give this second command?”

” She has no idea that I have come. She was hurt by your refusal of her invitation and I am going to ask you to allow me to take you there to-morrow. I will drive over for you and take you to her. Will you allow me to do this?”

I hesitated.

” Oh come,” he urged. ” Remember she is old; she is lonely; she is greatly interested in the family and you are now a member of it.

Please say yes. Please, Mrs. Catherine. “

He suddenly seemed attractive; his eyes, screwed up against the sunlight had lost their boldness; I noticed his strong teeth which looked very white against his sun-bronzed skin. He was a little like Gabriel without any of Gabriel’s delicacy; and as I looked at him I found myself relenting.

He saw the change in my mood immediately. ” Oh, thanks,” he cried, and his face was creased in smiles such as I had not seen there before.

He’s really fond of that old grandmother, I thought; and I almost liked him because he was fond of someone other than himself.

He went on exuberantly: ” You’ll like her. You can’t fail to do so.

And she will like you . though she may be a little chary of showing it at first. Like you, she’s a Strong character. “

This was the second time a man had refered to my strength, and I felt weakened suddenly. There was even a prickle in my eyes which suggested tears. I was horrified at the idea of shedding tears, particularly before this man!

I said hurriedly to hide my embarassment: “Very well. I will come.”

” That’s wonderful. I shall call for you to-morrow at two o’clock. I am now going back to tell her that you have agreed to call and see her.”

He did not wait for any more. He was shouting to the groom and seemed to have forgotten me.

Yet I liked him for it; and liking him, I was prepared not to dislike his grandmother, which previously I am afraid I had made up my mind to do.

The next day Simon Redvers called at the Revels promptly at two o’clock; he came in a phaeton drawn by two of the handsomest horses I had ever seen. I sat beside him during the journey which was under two miles.

” I could have walked,” I said.

” And deprived me of the pleasure of taking you?” The mocking note was back in his voice, but the antagonism between us had considerably lessened. He was pleased with me because I had agreed to see his grandmother, and as his obvious affection for her had softened me towards him, we could not hate each other so wholeheartedly.

Kelly Grange was a manor house which I guessed to be less than a hundred years old—very modem when compared with the Revels. It was of grey stone and surrounded by tertile land. We drove up to a pair of massive wrought-iron gates through which I saw an avenue of chestnut trees. From the lodge a woman, who was clearly with child, came out to open the gates for us.

Simon Redvers touched his hat in acknowledgment and she bobbed a curtsy, I smiled, and her eyes rested on me with speculation.

” Now I wonder,” I said as we drove on, ” if that could be Mary-Jane’s sister.”

“It’s Etty Hardcastle. Her husband works on the land for us.”

” Then it would be. Mary-Jane is my personal maid and she has told me of her sister.”

” In a place like this, you find everyone is related to every one else.

There! What do you think of the Grange? A pale shadow, eh, of the Revels.”

” It’s very attractive.”

” It has its points. Kelly Grange can offer you more in the way of comfort than the Revels, I do assure you. Wait until the winter and compare them. Our great fires keep the house warm. There are many draughty spots in the Revels. You’d need all the coal of Newcastle to keep that place warm in the winter.”

” It is so much easier with a smaller place.”

” Yet we are not exactly cramped. However, you shall see for yourself.”

The wheels crunched on a gravel drive and soon we had drawn up before the front porch, on either side of which were marble statues of women, decently draped, holding baskets in which geraniums and lob elias had been painted. There was a long marble seat on each side of the porch.

The door was opened by a parlour maid before we had reached it and I guessed that she had heard the sound of wheels in the drive. As we alighted, and the coachman drove off in the phaeton, I imagined this house full of servants all alert to anticipate Simon’s needs.

We went into a tiled hall from which rose a wide staircase. The house was built round this hall, and, standing in it, one could look up to the roof.

It was a large house of its kind but it seemed small and intimate when compared with the Revels.

Simon turned to me. ” If you will wait here a moment, I will go and tell my grandmother that you have arrived.” I watched him mount the stairs to the first-floor gallery, knock at a door and enter. In a few minutes he appeared and beckoned. I went up.

Simon stood aside for me to pass him and said with a certain amount of ceremony which may have held its mockery—I was not entirely sure of this”-Mrs. Gabriel Rockwell!”

I entered. It was a room crowded with heavy furniture; thick plush curtains as well as lace ones were held back by ornate brass fittings. There was a table in the centre of the room as well as several occasional tables; there was a horsehair sofa, a grandfather-clock, many chairs, cabinets containing china, a whatnot, an epergne filled with white and red roses.

But all this I took in at a glance, for it was the woman in the high-backed chair who demanded my attention.

This was Hagar Redvers, Rockwell-Redvers as she called herself, the autocrat of the schoolroom who had remained an autocrat all her life.

It was evident that she was tall, although she was sitting down; her back was very straight; her chair was no soft and comfortable one, but had a hard carved wood back; her white hair was piled high on her head and on it was a white lace cap. There were garnets in her ears and her dress of lavender-coloured satin was high at the throat where a lace collar was held in place by a garnet brooch to match the stones in her ears. An ebony stick with a gold top leaned against her chair; I gathered she needed it when she walked. Her eyes were bright blue; another version of Gabriel’s eyes, but there was none of Gabriel’s gentleness there; there was none of his delicacy in this woman. Her hands, resting on the carved wooden arms of the chair, must have been beautiful in her youth; they were still shapely, and I saw diamonds and garnets there.

For a few seconds we took the measure of each other. I, being conscious of a faint hostility, held my head a little higher than I normally should have done, and perhaps my voice held a trace of haughtiness as I said: ” Good afternoon, Mrs. RockwellRedvers.”

She held out a hand as though she were a queen and I a subject. I had a feeling that she expected me to go down on my knees before her.

Instead I coolly took the hand, bowed over it and relinquished it.

“It was good of you to come this afternoon,” she said. ” I had hoped you would come before.”

” It was your grandson who suggested that I should come this afternoon,” I told her.

“Ah!” her lips twitched a little, I fancied, with amusement ” We must not keep you standing,” she said.

Simon brought a chair for me and set it before the old lady. I was very close to her and facing what light could come through the lace curtains; she had her own face in shadow and I felt that even in this small way they had sought to place me at a disadvantage.

“You are no doubt thirsty after your drive,” she said, her keen eyes seeming to search through mine into my mind.

” It was a very short one.”

” It is a little early for tea, but on this occasion I think we will not wait.”

” I am quite happy to wait.”

She smiled at me, then turned to Simon.

“Ring the bell, grandson.”

Simon immediately obeyed.

“We shall have much to say to each other,” she went on, ” and what more comfortable way of saying it than over a cup of tea?”

The parlour maid whom I had seen before appeared, and the old lady said: ” Dawson, tea … please.”

” Yes, madam.”

The door was quietly shut.

” You will not wish to join us, Simon,” she said. ” We will excuse you.”

I was not sure whether she used the word royally or whether she meant that we should both prefer him not to be with us; but I did know that I had passed the first small test and that she had unbent slightly towards me. My appearance and manners evidently did not disgust her.

Simon said: “Very well. I’ll leave the two of you to become acquainted.”

” And be ready to drive Mrs. Rockwell back to the Revels at five o’clock.”

Simon surprised me by his acquiescence. He took her hand and kissed it and, although even then there was a certain mockery in his manner, I could see how she enjoyed this attention and that, although she tried to, she could not retain her autocratic manner with him.

We did not speak until the door closed on him; then she said: ” I had hoped to see you when you were at the Revels previously. I was unable at that time to corns to see you and HO i did not invite you because I felt certain that Gabriel would bring you to see me in due course. I am sure he would have done so had he lived. He was always conscious of his duty to the family.”

” I am sure he would.”

” I am glad that you are not one of those stupid modem girls who faint when any difficulty presents itself.”

” How can you know these things on such a short acquaintance I asked, because I was determined that she should treat me as an equal, as I had no intention of giving her the reverence she seemed to demand.

” My eyes are as sharp as they were at twenty. They have a great deal more experience to help them along than they had then. Moreover, Simon told me how admirably calm you were during that distressing time. I am sure you are not one of those foolish people who say: We must not talk of this or that. Things exist whether we talk of them or not; so why pretend they don’t by never mentioning them? Indeed, hiding the truth and making mysteries of straightforward events is the way to keep them alive. Do you agree?”

” I think there may be occasions when that is true.”

“I was pleased when I heard you had married Gabriel. He was always rather unstable. So many of the family are, I‘m afraid. No backbone, that’s the trouble.”

I looked at her erect figure and I permited myself a little joke. “

You evidently do not suffer from that complaint.”

She seemed rather pleased.

“What do you think of the Revels?” she asked.

” I found the house fascinating.”

“Ah! It is a wonderful place. There as not so many like it left in England. That’s why it is important that it should be in good hands.

My father was very capable. There have been Rockwells, you know, who almost ruined the place. A house . an estate like that needs constant care and attention if it is to remain in good repair.

Matthew could have been better. But a squire in his position should have dignity. There was always some woman. That’s bad. As for Gabriel he was a pleasant creature but weak. That was why I was gratified when I heard he had married a strong young woman. “

The tea arrived and the parlour maid hovered.

“Shall I pour, madam?” she asked.

” No, no, Dawson. Leave us.”

Dawson went away and she said to me: ” Would you care’ I'll to take charge of the tea-tray? I suffer from rheumatism and my joints are a little stiff today.”

I rose and went to the table on which the tray had been set. There was a silver kettle over a spirit lamp, and the teapot, cream jug and sugar bowl were all of shining silver. There were cucumber sandwiches, thin bread and butter, a seed cake and a variety of small cakes.

I had the feeling that I was being set yet another task to ascertain if I could perform this important social activity with grace. Really, I thought, she is an impossible woman; and yet I liked her in spite of herself and myself.

I knew that my colour was heightened a little, but apart from that I showed no sign of perturbation. I asked how she liked her tea and gave her the requisite amount of cream and sugar, carrying her cup over to her and setting it on the marble and gilt round table by her chair.

“Thank you,” she said graciously.

Then I offered her the sandwiches and bread and butter, to which she helped herself liberally.

I kept my place behind the tea-tray.

” I hope you will come to see me again,” she said, and I knew that her feelings for me were similar to mine for her. She had been prepared to be critical but something in our personalities matched.

I vaguely wondered whether in about seventy years’ time I should be just such an old lady.

She ate daintily and heartily and she talked as though there was so much to say that she feared she would never say half she wanted to.

She encouraged me to talk too and I told her how Gabriel and I had met when we had rescued Friday.

“Then you heard who he was, and that must have been pleasant for you.”

“Heard who he was?”

” That he was an extremely eligible young man, heir to a baronetcy, and that in due course the Revels would be his.”

Here it was again—the suggestion that I had married Gabriel for money and position. My anger would not be controlled.

“Nothing of the sort,” I said sharply.

“Gabriel and I decided to be married before we knew a great deal about each other’s worldly position.”

” Then you surprise me,” she said. ” I thought you were a sensible young woman.”

” I hope I am not a fool, but I never thought it was necessarily sensible to marry for money. Marriage to an incompatible person can be most unpleasant … even if that person is a rich one.”

She laughed and I could see that she was enjoying our encounter. She had made up her mind that she liked me ; what shocked me a little was that she would have liked me equally well if I had been a fortune-hunter. She liked what she called my strength. How they admired that quality in this family! Gabriel had been looking for it and found it in me. Simon had presumed that I had married Gabriel for his money. I wondered whether he also would have thought no less of me for that. These people expected one to be shrewd and clever sensible, they called it. No matter how callous, as long as you were not a fool, you were to be admired.

” So it was love,” she said.

” Yes,” I answered defiantly, ” it was.”

” It is a mystery which has not been solved.”

” Perhaps you will solve it.”

I was surprised to hear myself say: ” I hope so.”

” You will if you are determined to.”

” Do you think so? Surely there have been unsolved mysteries although many people had devoted their time and energy to the discovery of the truth.”

” Perhaps they do not try enough. And now you are carrying the heir.

If your child is a boy, that will be the end of Ruth’s hopes for Luke.

” She sounded triumphant. ” Luke,” she went on, ” will be another Matthew; he is very like his grandfather. “

There was the briefest of silences and then I found myself telling her how I- had seen the schoolroom at the Revels with her initials in the cupboard and scratched on the table, how Aunt Sarah had conducted me there and given me a glimpse of the old days.

She was interested and willing enough to talk of them.

” It’s years since I have been up to the nurseries. Although I pay a yearly visit to the Revels at Christmas I rarely go all over the house.

It’s such an effort to go anywhere nowadays. I am the eldest of the three of us, you know. I’m two years older than Matthew. I made them all dance to my tune in those days.”

” So Aunt Sarah implied.”

” Sarah! She was always a scatterbrain. She would sit at the table twirling a piece of hair round and round until she looked as though she had been dragged through a hedge backwards … dreaming, always dreaming. I believe she’s becoming quite simple in lots of ways.”

” She’s very alert in others.”

” I know. She was always like that. I used to be at the house every day in the first years of my marriage. My husband never got on with my family. I think he was a little jealous of my feeling for them.”

She smiled reminiscently and I could see that she was looking back through the years, seeing herself as the wilful, headstrong girl who had always managed to have her own way.

” We met so few people,” she said. ” We were very isolated here in those days. That was before the railways came; we visited the county people and there was no other family into which I could marry but that of the Redvers. Sarah didn’t marry at all … but perhaps she would not have done so whatever her opportunities. She was born to dream her life away.”

” You missed the Revels very much after you left to marry, I said, replenishing her cup and handing her the cakes.

She nodded sadly.

“Perhaps I should never have left it.”

” It seems to mean so much to the people who’ve lived in it.”

” It’ll mean a great deal to you one day perhaps. If your child is a boy he will be brought up at the Revels, brought up to love and revere the house. That’s tradition.”

“I understand that.”

” I am certain the child will be a boy. I shall pray for it.” She spoke as though even the Deity must obey her commands, and I smiled.

She saw the smile and she smiled with me.

” If it were a girl,” she went on,” and Luke were to die …”

I interrupted in a startled way: “Why should he?”

“Some of the members of our family enjoy longevity; others die young. My brother’s two sons were extremely delicate in health. If Gabriel had not died in the manner he did he could not have lived many more years. His brother died at an early age. I fancy I see signs of the same delicacy in Luke. “

The words startled me; and as I looked across at her I thought I detected a gleam of hope in her eyes. I was imagining this. She had her back to the light. I was letting my thoughts run on.

Luke and my unborn child, if it is a boy, will stand between Simon and the Revels. By the way she spoke of the Revels and of Simon I knew they meant a good deal to her . ; perhaps more than anything else in her life.

If Simon were the master of the Revels, then she would return there to spend her last days.

I said quickly as though I feared she would read my thoughts: tt And your grandson’s father . your son . was he also delicate? “

” Indeed no. Peter, Simon’s father, was killed while fighting for his Queen and country in the Crimea. Simon never knew him; and the shock killed his mother, who never really recovered from his birth. She was a delicate creature.” A faint scorn came into her voice. ” It was not a marriage of my making. But my son had a will of his own…. I would not have had him otherwise, although it led him into this disastrous marriage. They left me my grandson.”

” That must have been a great consolation to you.”

“A great consolation,” she said more gently than I had heard her speak before.

I asked if she would have more tea; she declined and as we had both finished she said: ” Pray ring for Dawson. I do not care to see used cups and plates.”

When the tea things had been taken away she began to talk about Luke.

She wanted to know my impressions of him; did I find him attractive, amusing?

I found this embarrassing, for I was not sure what I really thought of Luke.

“He is very young,” I replied. ” It is difficult to form an opinion’ of young people. They change so quickly. He has been pleasant to me.”

“The doctor’s beautiful daughter often visits the house, I believe.”

” I have not seen her since my return. We have so few visitors now that we are a house of mourning.”

” Of course. And you are wondering how I hear so much of what goes on at the Revels. Servants make excellent carriers of news. My gatekeeper’s wife has a sister at the Revels.”

” Yes,” I said, ” she is my maid, -a very good girl.”

” I am glad she gives satisfaction. I am pleased with Etty. I see a great deal of her. She is about to have her first child’ and I have always taken an interest in our people. I shall see that she has all that she needs for her confinement. We always send silver spoons to babies born on the Kelly Grange estate.”

” That’s a pleasant custom.”

” Our people are loyal to us because they know they can trust us.”

We were both surprised when Simon arrived to take me back to the Revels. The two hours or so I had spent with Hagar Redvers had been stimulating, and I had enjoyed them.

I think she had too, for when she gave me her hand she was even gracious. She said: “You will come and see me again.” Then her eyes twinkled and she added, ” I hope.” And it was as though she recognised in me one who could not be commanded. I knew she liked me for it.

I said I would come again with pleasure and should look forward to the visit.

When Simon took me home we did not say very much; but I could see he was rather pleased by the way things had gone.

During the next weeks I walked a little, rested a good deal, lying on my bed in the afternoons reading the novels of Mr. Dickens, Mrs.

Henry Wood and the Bronte sisters.

I was becoming more and more absorbed in my child and this consoled me.

Sometimes I would feel afresh the sorrow of Gabriel’s death, and the fact that he would never know his child seemed doubly tragic. And each day, it appeared, there would be something to remind me poignantly of Friday. We had taken so many walks in the grounds about the house, and when I heard the distant bark of a dog, my heart would begin to beat fast with hope. I made myself believe that one day he would come back.

Perhaps this was because I could not bear to believe that—as in the case of Gabriel—I should never see him again.

I tried to take an interest in the life of the neighbourhood. I had tea with the vicarage family; I went to church and sat in the Rockwell pew with Ruth and Luke. I felt that I was settling in as I had not begun to do while Gabriel was with me.

Sometimes I would be taken to the nurseries by Sarah- she never seemed to tire of taking me there. I was introduced to the family cradle which was a beautiful piece of workman ship on rockers and was about two hundred years old. tiarati was making a blue padded coverlet for it, and her needlework was exquisite.

I visited Hagar once more and we seemed to grow even closer; I assured myself that I had found a good friend in her.

We did no entertaining at Kirkland Revels on account of being in mourning, but close friends of the family visited us now and then.

Damaris came, and I was certain that Luke was in love with her, but I was not at all sure of her feelings for him. I wondered idly whether Damaris had any feelings. I had noticed that even with her father she seemed sometimes unresponsive, although she was docile enough. I wondered whether she had any real affection, even for him.

The doctor was often in and out of the house, to keep an eye on Sir Matthew and Sarah, he said; not forgetting Mrs. Rockwell, he would add, smiling at me.

He made out a little schedule for me. I was not to walk too far, I must give up riding. I must rest whenever I felt so inclined; and take hot milk before going to bed.

One day when I had gone for my morning walk, I was about a mile from the house when I heard the sound of carriage wheels behind me and turning saw the doctor’s brougham.

He instructed his man to pull up beside me.

” You’ve tired yourself,” he accused me.

” Indeed I have not. And I am nearly home.”

“Please get in,” he said.

“I’m going to give you a lift back.”

I obeyed, protesting that I was not ,in the least tired. In fact, he looked much more tired than I, and in my somewhat forthright manner I told him so.

” I’ve been up to Worstwhistle,” he said. ” That always tires me.”

Worstwhistle! The mention of that place saddened me. I thought of those people with their poor clouded minds, shut away from the world.

How good he was to give his services to such a place!

” You are very good to go there,” I told him.

” My motives are selfish, Mrs. Rockwell,” he answered.

“These people interest me. Besides they need me. It is a pleasant thing to be needed.”

” That is so, but it is good of you all the same. I have heard from others how you comfort them, not only with youi medical skill but with your kindness.”

“Hal” He laughed suddenly and his white teeth flashed in his brown face. ” I have a great deal to be thankful for. I’ll tell you a secret about myself. Forty years ago I was an orphan … a penniless orphan.

Now it is a sad thing in this world to be an orphan, but to be a penniless orphan, my dear Mrs. Rockwell, that is indeed a tragedy. “

” I can well believe it.”

” I might have been a beggar … standing by the road shivering with cold, driven to frustration by hunger, but life was good to me after all. As I grew up it became the dream of my life to heal the sick. I had no hope of attaining my ambition. But I caught the notice of a rich man and he was good to me. He educated me, he helped me to realise my ambition. But for that rich man, what should I have been?

Whenever I see a beggar by the roadside, or a criminal in his prison, I say to myself: There but for the grace of that rich man go I. Then I give myself to my patients. Do you understand me? “

” I do not know …” I began.

” And now you think a little less of me because I am not quite a gentleman, eh?”

I turned on him fiercely. ” I think you are a very great gentleman,” I said.

We had reached the Revels and he murmured: “Then will you do me a favour?”

” If it is in my power.”

” Take great care of yourself … even greater care.”

I was taking tea with Hagar Redvers, and she was talking-as she loved to—of her childhood and how she had ruled the nursery at the Revels, when suddenly that overcrowded room seemed to close in on me and I could no longer breathe. Something happened to me, and I was not quite sure what it was.

The next thing I remembered was that I was lying on the horsehair couch and smelling salts were being thrust beneath my nose.

” What … happened?” I asked.

“It’s all right, my dear.” That was Hagar’s authoritative voice. “

You fainted.”

“Fainted! I … But…”

“Don’t disturb yourself. I think it is a fairly common’ occurrence at this stage. Now lie still. I have seat for Jessie Dankwait. I have the utmost confidence in her.”

I tried to rise, but those strong old hands sparkling with garnets and diamonds held me down.

” I think, my dear, you walked too far. This journey is becoming too much for you. You must be driven here next time.”

She was sitting in the chair beside the sofa. She was saying:

” I remember how I fainted when my son was on the way. It is such a horrible feeling, is it not. But it is surprising how, as the time progresses, one becomes accustomed to all the little inconveniences.

Do you feel like some refreshment, my dear? I did wonder if a little brandy might be useful. But I think we should wait for Jessie Dankwait. “

It could not have been much more than fifteen minutes later when Jessie Dankwait came into the room. I judged her to be in her middle forties; her face was rosy, her expression pleasant; her black bonnet, trimmed with jet beads which danced in rather a jolly fashion as she moved, was tied under her chin with black ribbons; on her gaberdine cloak jet also glistened. Beneath the cloak she wore a black dress and a very clean white starched apron.

I quickly discovered that she was the midwife who lived on the Kelly Grange estate, and as Hagar ruled over that estate like a queen over her kingdom, the midwife behaved as though she were a subject. I subsequently discovered that if any of the mothers were unable to pay her, Hagar paid for them. Jessie also acted as nurse, for she had received a certain amount of training in all branches of nursing.

She prodded me and questioned me and spoke knowledgeably about my condition. She came to the conclusion that everything was as it should be and that what I had experienced was natural enough considering the time of my pregnancy.

She thought that a cup of hot sweet tea was what I needed; and there was nothing to fear.

When she had left, Hagar ordered that a pot of tea should be made, and while I was drinking a cup of it, she said: ” You could not do better than engage Jessie when your time comes. I know of none so good in the neighbourhood; that is why I employ her. She has more sucessful cases than any other midwife I have ever known. If I had been able to employ her for my daughter-in-law she would have been here today.”

I said I thought it was an excellent idea, for I had been wondering what arrangements I should make. “Then that’s settled,” said Hagar.

“I shall tell Jessie to hold herself in readiness. It would be an excellent idea if you kept her at the Revels for a week or so beforehand. That is always wise.”

It appeared that my affairs were being taken out of my hands, but I did not care. The change in my body seemed to be changing my character. I experienced a certain lassitude as I lay on that horsehair sofa listening to Hagar making plans for my future.

Jessie had not left the house, and when Hagar sent for her, before I left, to tell her that I had decided to use her services, she was delighted.

” Jessie will call on you regularly at the Revels,” declared Hagar.

“And you must take her advice. Now someone shall drive you back. And when you get there you should rest.”

Simon was not at home, so one of the grooms drove me back. Ruth came out in some surprise when she saw how I had returned, and I hastily told her what had happened.

“You’d better go straight up and rest,” she said.

“Ill have dinner sent up to you.”

So I went up and Mary-Jane came to me to make me comfortable; and I let her chatter on about her sister Etty, who some months back had fainted in just the same way.

I looked forward to a leisurely evening, reading in bed.

Mary-Jane brought up my dinner, and when I had eaten it she came back to tell me that Dr. Smith wanted to see me. She decorously buttoned my bed-jacket up to my neck and went out to say that I was ready for the doctor.

He came into my room with Ruth, and they sat near the bed while he asked questions about my faint.

“I understand it’s nothing to worry about,” I said.

“Apparently it’s the normal occurrence at this stage. The midwife told me.”

” Who?” asked the doctor.

“Jessie Dankwait. Mrs. Redvers has the utmost faith in her. I have engaged her for the great occasion and she will be coming to see me from time to time.”

The doctor did not speak for a while. Then he said:

” This woman has a very good reputation in the neighbourhood.” He leaned towards the bed smiling at me. ” But I shall satisfy myself as to whether she is practised enough to take care of you,” he added.

They did not stay long and after they had gone I lay back luxuriously. It was a. pleasant feeling to know that all ms being taken care of.

It was two weeks later, when my peaceful existence was shattered, and the horror and doubts began.

The day had been a glorious one. Although we were in mid-September, the summer was still with us and only the early twilight brought home the fact that the year was so advanced.

I had passed the day pleasantly. I had been along to the church with Ruth, Luke and Damaris to take flowers to decorate it for the harvest festival; they had not allowed me to do any of the decorating, but had made me sit in one of the pews watching them at work.

I had sat back, rather drowsily content, listening to the hollow sound of their voices as they talked together. Damaris, arranging gold, red and mauve chrysanthemums on the altar, had looked like a figure from the Old Testament, her grace and beauty never more apparent. Luke was helping her—he was never far from her side—and there was Ruth with bunches of grapes and vegetable marrows which she was placing artistically on the sills below the stained-glass windows.

It was an atmosphere of absolute peace—the last I was to know for a long time.

We had tea at the vicarage and walked leisurely home afterwards. When night came I had no premonition that change was near.

I went to bed early as was now my custom. The moon was nearly full and since I would have the curtains drawn back, it flooded my room with soft light, competing with the candles.

I tried afterwards to recall that evening in detail, but I did not know at that stage that I should have taken particular note of it; so looking back it semed like many other evenings.

Of one thing I was certain—that I did not draw the curtains on either side of my bed, because I had always insisted that the curtains should not be drawn. I had told Mary Jane of this and she bore me out afterwards.

I blew out my candles and got into bed. I lay for some time looking at the windows; in an hour or so I knew that the lop-sided moon would be looking straight in at me. It had awakened me last night when it had shone its light full on my face.

I slept. And . suddenly I was awake and in great fear, though for some seconds I did not know why. I was aware of a cold draught. I was lying on my back and my room was full of moonlight. But that was not all that was in my room. Someone was there . someone was standing at the foot of my bed watching me.

I think I called out, but I am not sure; I started up and then I felt as though all my limbs were frozen and for several seconds I was as one tamed to stone. If ever I had known fear in my life I knew it then.

It was because of what I saw at the foot of my bed . something which moved yet was not of this world.

It was a figure in a black cloak and cowl a monk; over the face was a mask such as those worn by torturers in the chambers of the Inquisition; there were slits in the mask for the eyes to look through, but it was not possible to see those eyes though I believed they watched me intently.

I had never before seen a ghost. I did not believe in ghosts. My practical Yorkshire soul rebelled against such fantasies. I had always said I should have to see to believe. Now I was seeing.

The figure moved as I looked. Then it was gone.

It could be no apparition, for I was not the sort of person to see apparitions. Someone had been in my room. I tamed to follow the figure but I could see nothing but a dark wall before my eyes. So dazed was I, so shocked, that it was a second or so before I realised that the curtain on one side of my bed had been drawn so that the door and that part of the room which led to it were shut off from my view.

Still numb with shock and terror I could not move until suddenly I thought I heard the sound of a door quietly closing. That brought me back to reality. Someone had come into my room and gone out by the door; ghosts, I had always heard, had no need to concern themselves with the opening and shutting of doors.

I stumbled out of bed, falling into the curtain which I hastily pushed aside. I hurried to the door, calling: “Who was that? Who was that?”

There was no sign of anyone in the corridor. I ran to the top of the stairs. The moonlight, falling through the windows there, threw shadows all about me. I felt suddenly alone with evil and I was terrified.

I began to shout: Come quickly. There is someone in the house. “

I heard a door open and shut; then Ruth’s voice:

” Catherine, is that you?”

” Yes, yes … come quickly….”

It seemed a long time before she appeared; then she came down the stairs wrapping a long robe about her, holding a small lamp in her hand.

“What happened?” she cried.

” There was something in my room. It came and stood at the bottom of my bed.”

” You have had a nightmare.”

” I was awake, I tell you. I was awake. I woke up and saw it. It must have wakened me.”

” My dear Catherine, you’re shivering. You should get back to bed. In your state …”

” It came into my room. It may come again.”

” My dear, it was only a bad dream.”

I felt frustrated and angry with her. It was the beginning of frustration, and what could be more exasperating than the inability to convince people that you have seen something with your eyes and not with your imagination?

” It was not a dream,” I said angrily. ” Of one thing I am certain, it was not a dream. There was someone in my room. I did not imagine it.”

Somewhere in the house a clock struck one, and almost immediately Luke appeared on the landing above us.

“What’s the commotion?” he asked, yawning.

” Catherine has been … upset.”

” There was someone in my room.”

” Burglars?”

” No, I don’t think so. It was someone dressed as a monk.”

” My dear,” said Ruth gently, ” you’ve been going to the Abbey and letting yourself get imaginative there. It’s an eerie place. Don’t go there again. It obviously upsets you.”

” I keep telling you that there was actually someone in my room. This person had drawn the curtain about my bed so that I shouldn’t see his departure.”

” Drawn the curtain about your bed? I expect Mary Jane did that.”

” She did not. I have told her not to. No, the person who was playing this joke—if it was a joke—drew it.”

I saw Ruth and Luke exchange glances, and I knew that they were thinking I was obsessed by the Abbey; clearly I was the victim of one of those vivid nightmares which hang about when one wakes and seem a part of reality.

” It was not a dream,” I insisted fervently. ” Someone came into my room. Perhaps it was meant to be a joke …”

I looked from Ruth to Luke; would either of them play such a stupid trick? Who else could have done it? Sir Matthew? Aunt Sarah? The apparition which had flitted across my room, quietly closing the door after it, must have been agile.

” You should go back to bed,” said Ruth. ” You should not let a nightmare disturb you.”

Go back to bed. Try to sleep. Perhaps to be awakened by that figure at the bottom of my bed! It had merely stood there this time and looked at me. What would it do next? How could I sleep peacefully again in that room?

Luke yawned. Clearly he thought it strange that I should wake them because of a dream.

“Come along,” said Ruth gently and, as she slipped her arm through mine, I remembered that I was in my night dress and presented an unconventional sight to the pair of them.

Luke said: ” Good night,” and went back to his room, so that I was left alone with Ruth.

” My dear Catherine,” she said as she drew me along the corridor, ” you really are scared.”

“It was … horrible. To think of being watched while I was asleep, like that.”

” I’ve had one or two alarming nightmares myself. I know the impression they leave.”

” But I keep telling you, I was not asleep.”

She did not answer as she threw open the door of my room. The current of air disturbed the drawn bed curtain; and I remembered the draught I had felt, and I was certain then chat someone had crept silently into my room, and drawn the curtain along one side of the bed before taking a stand there at the foot of it.

All human actions. Some person in this house had done this to me.

Why should this person wish to frighten me, knowing of my condition?

” You see,” I said, ” the curtain is drawn at the side of the bed. It was not like that when I went to sleep.”

” Mary-Jane must have done it.”

” Why should she come back after I had said good night to her, to draw a curtain which I had expressly asked should not be drawn?”

Ruth lifted her shoulders.

“Lie down,” she said.

“Why, you are cold. You should have put something on.”

” There wasn’t time. I didn’t think of it in any case. I was after .. whoever it was. I thought I might catch a glimpse of the way it went.

But when I came out there was nothing … nothing. I wonder if it’s still here … watching … listening …”

” Come, lie down. It can’t be here because it was part of your dream.”

” But I know when I am awake and when I’m asleep.”

” I’m going to light your candles. You’ll feel better then.”

” The moon is so bright. I do not need candles.”

” Perhaps it is better not to light them. I’m always afraid of fire.”

She drew back the bed curtains and sat by the side of the bed.

” You with be cold,” I said.

” I don’t like to leave you while you are so disturbed,” she replied.

I was ashamed to ask her to stay, and yet I felt afraid. But I was so convinced that what I had seen was no apparition that I was certain, if I locked my door on the inside, it could not come again to my room.

” I’m all right,” I said. ” I don’t need company.”

She rose smiling.

“It is not like you to be afraid of dreams.”

” Oh dear! Why can’t you believe me? I know it was not a dream,” I told her.

“Someone is playing a trick on me.”

“A dangerous trick .. on a woman in your condition.”

” It is someone who gives no thought to my danger.”

She lifted her shoulders and the gesture was disbelieving.

” I am sorry to have disturbed you like this,” I said. ” Please go back to your room.”

” If you are sure …”

I got out of bed and reached for my dressing-gown.

” Where are you going?” she asked.

“To lock the door when you have gone. If I lock that and the one which leads to the powder-room, and the door of the powder-room which opens on to the corridor. I shall feel safe.”

” If you can only feel safe like that you must, but, Catherine, who in this place would do such a thing? You must have been dreaming.”

” So I could believe,” I said, ” but for the fact that I felt the draught from the door and heard it shut, and the apparition had had the foresight to draw that curtain on one side of my bed. I should think apparitions are rarely so practical.”

I was losing a little of my fear. It was strange that a human enemy was much less alarming than a supernatural one.

I had not then begun to ask myself the all-important question: Why?

“Well, I will say good night,” Ruth said.

“If you are sure …”

” I am all right now.”

” Good night, Catherine. If you should have any more .. alarms, remember I am not very far away … only on the next floor. And Luke is near too.”

” I’ll remember.”

When she had gone I locked the door after her and made sure the door of the powder-room which opened on to the corridor was also locked on the inside.

I went back to bed, but not to sleep. I should not be able to sleep until daylight.

I turned the question over and over in my mind. Who had done this, and why? It was no ordinary practical joke. The person who had done this had meant to terrify me. I was not the sort of woman to be easily terrified, but the most strong-minded must be upset by seeing such a vision at the foot of their bed. And I was a woman, known to be pregnant. I felt the menace then. Someone was plotting evil. It might be only indirectly aimed at me because of the precious burden I carried.

One prospective master of the Revels had died violently; was something being plotted against another?

That was the beginning of my period of terror.