Kirkland Revels

Chapter 5

I awoke soon after six o’clock the next morning, rose and unlocked my door; then I returned to bed and fell asleep to be awakened by Mary-Jane at my bedside with a breakfast- tray.

” Mrs. Grantley said you should have a rest this morning,” she told me. i started out of a deep sleep, remembering the horror of the previous night; I must have stared at Mary-Jane for she looked slightly alarmed.

In those first moments of waking I had half expected her to turn into a black-clad apparition.

” Oh … thank you, Mary-Jane,” I stammered.

She propped me up with pillows and helped me on with my bed-jacket.

Then she placed the tray on my knees.

” Is there anything else, madam?”

She was unlike herself, almost anxious to get out of the room. As she went I thought: Good heavens, has she heard already!

I sat up, sipping my tea. I could not eat. The whole thing had come back to me vividly in all its horror; I found that my eyes kept straying to the foot of my bed.

Realising it was no use trying to eat, I put aside the breakfast-tray and lay back thinking about last night, trying to assure myself that I had imagined it all. The draught . the bed curtain. Had I walked in my sleep? Had I opened the door? Had I myself drawn the bed curtain?

” Gabriel,” ( murmured, ” did you walk in your sleep?”

I was trembling, so I hastily pulled myself together.

There was a logical explanation of my horrific adventure There was always a logical explanation, and I had to find it.

I got out of bed and rang for hot water. Mary Jane brought it and set it in the powder-room. I did not speak to her in my usual friendly way. My mind was too full of what had happened on the previous night and I did not want to talk about that with her . or anyone . just yet.

While I was finishing dressing there was a knock on my door and when I called, ” Come in,” Ruth entered. She said:

” Good morning, Catherine,” and looked at me anxiously ” How are you feeling this morning?”

” A little weary.”

“Yes, you look it. It was a disturbed night.”

” For you too, I’m afraid. I’m sorry I made such a fuss.”

” It doesn’t matter. You were really scared. I’m glad you did waken me if it helped at all.”

” Yes, it did help. I had to talk to somebody … real.”

” The best thing we can do is to try to forget it. I know how that sort of thing can hang about, though. I think Deverel Smith ought to give you something to make you sleep tonight You’ll feel all the better for a good night’s sleep.”

I was not going to argue with her any more, because I could see it was useless. She had made ur> her mind that I had been the victim of a nightmare, and nothing would change it.

I said: ” Thanks so much for sending up my breakfast.”

She grimaced. ” I saw Mary-Jane taking the tray away. You didn’t eat much of it.”

” I had several cups of tea.”

” You have to take care, remember. What do you plan to do this morning?”

” Perhaps a little walk.”

“Well, I shouldn’t go too far and … don’t mind my saying this, Catherine…. I should keep away from the Abbey for a while.”

A faint smile curved her lips; it might have been apologetic. I was not sure, for Ruth only seemed to smile with her lips.

She left me and I went downstairs on my way out. I felt I wanted to get away from the house. I wished that I could ride out on to the moors, but I had given up riding and had cur tailed my walking considerably.

As I came down to the hall Luke was coming in. He was in riding kit and looked surprisingly like Gabriel so that for a moment as he stood in shadow I could believe he was Gabriel. I gave a little gasp my nerves had certainly been affected by what had happened and I seemed to be expecting to see strange things.

“Hallo,” he said.

“Seen any more hobgoblins?”

He grinned and his careless unconcern gave me a twinge of alarm.

I tried to speak lightly. ” Once was enough.”

“A hooded monk!” he murmured.

“Poor Catherine, you were in a state.”

” I’m sorry I disturbed you.”

” Don’t be sorry. Any time you need assistance, call me. I’ve never been attracted to monks anyway. All that fasting, hair shirts ceilbacy and so on…. Seems to me so unnecessary. I like good food, fine linen and beautiful women. There’s nothing of the monk about me. So if you want any help in tackling them, I’m your man.”

He was mocking me, and I had come to the conclusion that the best way to treat the affair was lightly. My own opinions would not change, but it was no use trying to force them on others.

He and his mother were persisting in the belief that I had experienced a particularly terrifying nightmare. I would not seek to change that opinion. But nevertheless I was going to find out who in this house had played such a cruel trick on me.

” Thank you,” I said, trying to speak as lightly as he had. ” I’ll remember that.”

” It’s a pleasant morning,” he said. ” A pity you can’t ride. There’s just that nip of autumn in the air to make riding a pleasure; However, perhaps before long …”

” I’ll manage without,” I told him; and as I passed him his smile was enigmatic and I had a feeling that he was picturing me as I had looked in my dishabille the night before. I remembered then that Hagar Redvers had said he was like his grandfather, and Sir Matthew had an eye for women.

I passed out into the open air. It was wonderful what fresh air could do. My fear evaporated and as I walked among the beds of chrysanthemums and Michaelmas daisies I felt capable of tackling any menace that might present itself.

If you believe that was a human being playing a trick, I told myself, all you have to do is search your room and the powder-room before retiring and lock doors and windows. Then if you are disturbed by apparitions you will know that they are of the supernatural class.

This was a test of my belief. It was, I reminded myself, all very well to be brave on a fresh bright morning like this, but how should I feel when darkness fell?

I was determined to test myself, to prove that I really did believe that some human being had played that trick on me.

I returned to the house for luncheon, which I took with Ruth and Luke.

Luke made a reference to my ” nightmare ” and I made no contradiction of the term. That lunch was very like others; I fancy Ruth seemed relieved. She said I looked better for my walk, and it was true that I did eat well for I found I was hungry after having had no breakfast.

When I rose from the luncheon table William came into the dining-room with a message from Sir Matthew. He would like to see me if I could spare the time to visit him.

I said I would go at once if he was ready.

” I will take you to his room, madam,” William told me.

He led me up the staircase to a room on the first floor which was not far from my own. I was beginning to learn where the family had their apartments. They lived mainly in the south wing: Sir Matthew on the first floor, where I now had my room, Ruth and Luke on the second; and the third, of course, was where I had lived with Gabriel during the short time we had been together in the house. Sarah was the only member of the family who occupied rooms other than in the south wing.

She clung to the east wing where the nurseries were. The rest of the house was not being used at this time, but I was told that in the past Sir Matthew had entertained lavishly and that the Revels had often been filled with guests.

The kitchens, bake houses and sculleries were on the ground floor and an extension of the south wing. The servants’ sleeping quarters were on the top floor of the west wing. I had not seen them but Mary-Jane had told me this. So few people in such a large house!

I found Sir Matthew sitting up in bed, a woollen bed- jacket buttoned up to his neck and a nightcap on his head. His eyes twinkled as I came towards him.

” Bring a chair for Mrs. Gabriel, William,” he said. | I thanked William and sat down. | “I hear you had a disturbed night, my dear,” he said “Nightmare, Ruth tells me.”

” It’s over now,” I said. j ” Frightening things, nightmares. And you ran out of your room on your bare feet.” He shook his head. i William was hovering in the next room which, I presumed, was a dressing-room.

The door was open and he would hear all that was said.

I had a vision of the servants discussing the night’s disturbance, and I wished to change the subject.

“And how are you today?”

“All the better for seeing you, my dear. But I’m a sad subject. I’m old and the body gets worn out in time. Now you are young, and we cannot have you upset….”

” I shall not be scared in future,” I said quickly. ” It was the first time anything like it had happened….”

” You have to take care now, Catherine, my dear.”

” Oh, yes, I’m taking care.”

” I heard nothing of all this.”

“I’m so pleased. I should hate to think I had disturbed you too.”

” I don’t sleep well but when I do it’s like the sleep of the dead.

You’d have to shout somewhat loudly to awaken me. I’m glad I’ve seen you, my dear. I wanted to satisfy myself that you were your bright and beautiful self again. ” He smiled jauntily. ” It was only for that reason that I asked you to come and see me in this state. What do you think of me. eh . poor old fellow in a nightcap! “

” It’s quite becoming.”

” Catherine, you are a flatterer. Well my dear, remember you are a very important member of the family now. “

” I do remember,” I said. ” I shall do nothing that would be harmful to the child.”

” I like your outspoken ways, my dear. God bless you; and thank you for coming and saying a few kind words to an old man.”

He took my hand and kissed it, and as I went out I was still aware of William in the dressing-room.

The whole house knows, I thought; and I wondered why Aunt Sarah had not been to see me. I should have thought she would have wanted to talk about the affair.

I went to my room but I could not settle there, and I thought of the servants’ talking together; and it occurred to me that the story would soon reach the ears of Hagar and Simon Redvers. I felt disturbed at the idea of their hearing a version other than my own. I cared very much for the good opinion of Hagar and I believed that she would be very scornful of anything fanciful.

I decided then that I would go and see her and tell her exactly what had happened, before her opinions were coloured by other people’s views.

I set out and walked over to Kelly Grange; it was three o’clock when I arrived.

Dawson took me into a small room on the ground floor and said she would tell Mrs. Rockwell-Redvers that I was there.

” If she is resting,” I said,” please do not disturb her. I can wait awhile.”

” I will inquire, madam,” Dawson replied.

In a few minutes she returned with the message that Mrs.

Rockwell-Redvers would see me at once.

She was sitting in her high-backed chair as she had been on the occasion when I had first seen her. I took her hand and kissed it as I had seen Simon do—that was a concession to our friendship. I was no longer afraid that she would treat me with haughtiness. We now accepted’ each other as equals, and that meant that we could be quite natural together.

“It is good of you to call,” she said.

“Did you walk?”

” It is such a short distance really.”

” You don’t look as well as you did when I last saw you.”

” I did not sleep very well.”

” That is bad. Have you seen Jessie Dankwait?”

“This has nothing to do with Jessie Dankwait. I wanted to tell you about it before you heard it from another quarter. I wanted you to hear my version.”

” You are over-excited,” she said coolly.

” Perhaps. But I am calmer than I have been since it happened.”

” I want very much to hear about it. Please tell me.”

So I told her what had occurred, omitting nothing.

She listened. Then she nodded almost judicially.

” It is quite clear,” she said, ” that someone in the house is trying to alarm you.”

“It seems such a foolish thing to do.”

“I would not call a thing foolish if there is a reasonable motive behind it.”

” But what motive?”

” To scare you. Perhaps to ruin your hopes of producing a child.”

” This seems a strange way to go about it. And who …”

“It may be the beginning of a series of alarms. I think we must be on our guard against that.”

There was a tap on the door. ” Come in,” she called and Simon entered.

” Dawson told me that Mrs. Catherine was here,” he said. ” Have you any objection to my joining you?”

” I have none,” said his grandmother. ” Have you, Catherine?”

” But … no.”

“You don’t sound very sure,” he said, smiling at me.

“It is because we were discussing something which Catherine came here to tell me. I have no idea whether she would wish you to bear it.”

I looked at him and I thought I had never seen anyone so vital, so much a part of the present time. He radiated practical common sense. I decided that I wanted him to hear my version of the affair before anyone else’s.

” I have no objection of his hearing what has happened.”

” Then well tell him,” said Hagar and proceeded to do so. It was a considerable wmfort that she told him the story as I had told it to her. Never once did she say, ” Catherine thinks she saw,” or “

Catherine believed it was,” but always Catherine saw and it was. How grateful I was for that.

He listened intently.

” What do you think of it?” Hagar asked when she had finished.

” Someone in the house is playing tricks,” he said.

” Exactly,” cried Hagar. ” And why so?”

” I imagine it could concern the heir who will in due course make his appearance.”

Hagar gave me a triumphant look.

” It was a terrifying experience for poor Catherine,” she said.

” Why did you not make an attempt to catch the trickster?” asked Simon.

” I did,” I retorted indignantly. ” But by the time I had recovered myself he had gone.”

” You are calling it’ he.” You have some reason to believe the creature is of the masculine gender? “

” I don’t know. But one must call it something. He comes more naturally than she. He was very quick; he must have been out of the door and along the corridor in a very short time, and men …”

” And then where did he go?”

” I don’t know. If he had gone downstairs I must have seen him. He could never have run down the stairs and across the hall in time. I can’t imagine how he went along the corridor so swiftly.”

” He must have gone into one of the rooms there. Did you look?”

” No.”

” You should have done.”

” Ruth appeared then.”

” And Luke came later,” said Hagar significantly.

” Did Luke appear to have been rushing about?”

“You suspect Luke?” I asked.

” I merely wonder. It must have been someone in the house, I suppose.

If the idea was to frighten you, it must have been either Ruth, Luke, Matthew or Sarah. Did you see them all? “

“Not Matthew, nor Sarah.”

“Ah!” I ” I cannot imagine either of them running about the house in the night dressed up as a monk.”

Simon leaned towards me. He said: ” The Rockwell family are all a little crazy about their traditions.” He smiled at Hagar. “Everyone,” he added. ” I wouldn’t trust any one of them where the old Revels is concerned, and that’s a fact. They’re living in the past half of the time. Who could help it in that old fortress? It’s not a house. It’s a mausoleum. Anyone who lives there for any length of time is likely to gel strange ideas.”

” And you think I have!”

” Not you. You’re not a Rockwell simply because you married one. You’re a forthright Yorkshire woman who’ll blow a blast of common sense into the stuffy old place. You know what happens to the dead when they are exposed to fresh air, don’t you? They moulder and crumble away.“

” I’m glad you don’t think I imagined all this, because that is what they are all trying to pretend I did. They call it a nightmare.”

” Naturally the trickster would want that put about.”

” I shall pretend for him next time.”

” He won’t play the same game twice. You can be sure of that.”

“He won’t get an opportunity to. I intend to lock my doors tonight.”

” But he may try something else,” warned Simon.

” I’m ready for tea,” said Hagar. ” Ring for Dawson, and the three of us will have it together. Then, Simon, you musl drive Catherine back to the Revels. She walked one way, and there and back is too far.”

The tea was brought and once again I presided over the teacups.

I was feeling almost normal now; the comfort I drew from these two astonished and delighted me. They believed in me; they refused to treat me as a hysterical subject; and that was wonderful.

I wanted that tea-time hour to go on and on.

Hagar said as she stirred her tea: “I remember once Matthew played a trick on me. Strangely enough he came into my bedroom. Really, it must have been something like your affair. I had my curtains drawn about the bed. It was mid-winter, I remember…. Christmas-time. The snow was deep outside and the east wind was driving a buzzard. We had a few people in the house … those who had arrived before the bad weather started. We thought they would have to stay with us well beyond the Christmas holidays unless there was a thaw. We children had been allowed to watch the ball from the minstrels’ gallery. It was a wonderful sight… the dresses and the decorations. Well, that wasn’t the point. We children had had too much plum pudding, I dare say, because we grew rather quarrelsome … at least Matthew and I did.

Poor Sarah never joined in our quarrels. ” To get to the point, I had been discussing our ancestors and Matthew was wishing that he could wear those wonderful plumed hats and lace collars as they did in the days of the Cavaliers. I said: ” Like Sir John! Don’t say you want to be like him in the least little bit. ” But I do want to be exactly like Sir John,” Matthew said. I hate Sir John,” I cried. I like Sir John,” he answered. Then he twisted my arm and Ljnade his nose bleed.

I shouted that Sir John was a coward. “

She laughed and her eyes sparkled at the memory.

“You see, Catherine, Sir John was the master of Kirkland Revels at the time of the Civil War. Marston Moor had gone to Cromwell and Fairfax, and Prince Rupert was on the run. Sir John was naturally a Royalist and he went on declaring he’d hold the Revels against Cromwell or die in the attempt.

Never should the Revels pass out of the Rockwells* hands. But when the Parliamentarians came into Kirkland Moorside he disappeared . he and everyone in the house. Just imagine the soldiers coming into the Revels. They would have hanged him on one of his own oaks if they had found him. But he just disappeared. It’s been one of the mysteries of our house . how he and his household managed to disappear at the moment the Roundheads entered Kirkland Moorside. They took away all the valuables with them too. They were brought back after the Restoration. But I told Matthew that John was a coward because he did not stay and fight but walked out and calmly handed over the Revels to the enemy. Matthew didn’t agree with me. Anything would have done to quarrel about on that day. Sir John happened to be the cause. “

She stirred her tea thoughtfully and the haughtiness left her face as she looked back into the past.

Then she went on: ” And so Matthew decided to play a practical joke with me as his victim. I was awakened to see the curtains of my bed divided, and there was a. face drawn into a hideous scowl under a plumed hat. A voice hissed:

‘ So you are the one who dared call me a coward! You will regret that, Hagar Rockwell. I am Sir John and I’ve come to haunt you. ” I was startled out of my sleep and for a few seconds I really did think my careless words had brought our ancestor from the tomb. Then I recognised Matthew’s voice and I saw his hand clutching a candle. I leaped out of bed and grabbed the hat. I rammed it down on his head, boxed his ears, and threw him out of my room.”

She laughed again; then she looked at me apologetically. ” It reminded me, although it was really so different.”

“Where did he find the plumed hat?” I asked.

” There are lots of clothes put away in chests in the house. It was probably right out of period. I remember we were both put on bread and water and confined to our rooms for a day for disturbing our governess.”

“The difference is that you caught your intruder,” said Simon. ” I wish we could discover who this monk really is.”

” At least,” I put in,” I shall be on my guard for the future.”

Simon changed the subject and I found myself talking of the affairs of the neighbourhood: The home farm which was attached to the Grange and which he managed, and the smaller homesteads on the estate of which he would one day be the landlord. It was clear that he and Hagar felt deeply about the Kelly Grange estate, but in a different way from that worship of a house which I imagined obtained at the Revels. I had never heard the Rockwells discuss their tenants in the same way, and I was sure that Sir Matthew would not greatly care whether a man had been hurt when ploughing or that his wife was expecting a child again.

Hagar might look back on the traditions of the past but she had her keen eyes on the present. She might long to be mistress of the Revels and for Simon to be its master, but that did not mean she was indifferent to the Kelly Grange estate. Far from it. I believed that she would have liked to unite the two.

As for Simon he was so much the practical man; a house would never mean more to him than the stones of which it was built; the tradition in his opinion, I was sure, should be made to serve man, not man tradition.

There was so much about him that angered me, for I could never forget his hinting that I was a fortune-hunter, but on that day I needed his clear cold common sense, and I was grateful for it.

So those two gave me the strength and courage I badly needed. I knew that when I was alone in my room that night I should remember them and their belief in me, and it would help me to believe in myself.

He drove me back at five o’clock and, as I heard him drive off and turned to go into the house in which the first shadows of evening were beginning to fall, I, felt my courage begin to ebb.

But I kept thinking of those two and as I mounted the stairs to my room I did not once look over my shoulder to see if I was being followed, although I wanted to. Matthew, Luke and Ruth seemed to watch me rather furtively through dinner; as for Sarah, she had made no mention of the affair, which surprised me. I managed to appear quite normal.

After dinner Dr. Smith and Damaris called to take wine with us. I was sure that Ruth had sent for him, telling him what had happened, for when Damaris and Luke were whispering together, Ruth drew Sir Matthew aside Aunt Sarah had already retired and the doctor said to me: ” I hear there was a little trouble last night.”

” It was nothing,” I said quickly.

” Ah, you have recovered from it,” he said. ” Mrs. Grantiey thought she ought to tell me. I have made her promise, you know, to keep an eye on you.”

” There was no need to tell you this.”

“A nightmare, was it? That was what Mrs. Grantiey called it.”

” If it had been merely a nightmare I should not have left my room and awakened others. In my opinion it was not a nightmare.”

He glanced at the rest of the company and whispered:

” Could you tell me all about it?”

So once more that day I told the story.

He listened gravely, but made no comment.

“You may not sleep very well to-night,” he said.

” I think I shall.”

” Ah, you are a young lady of such sound good sense.”

” I propose to lock my doors so that there is no possibility of the joker’s coming into my room. Then I shall feel perfectly safe.”

” Wouldn’t you like a sleeping draught?”

” It will not be necessary.”

” Take it in case. You don’t want two bad nights running. I’ve got it here with me.”

” It’s unnecessary.”

“There’s no harm in having it at hand.. Put it by your bed. Then if you can’t sleep … take it and in ten minutes you’ll be in a deep and restful sleep.”

I took the small bottle and slipped it into the pocket of my gown.

” Thank you,” I said.

” You needn’t fear,” he told me with a smile. ” You won’t become an addict after one dose, believe me. And I want you to have good nights . plenty of rest and good plain food. So don’t think you’re being brave by refusing to take the draught. Think of the rest and relaxation you need … for the little one.”

” You are very attentive. Dr. Smith.”

” I am very anxious to look after you.”

So when I retired that night I put the sleeping draught by my bed as I had promised. Then I searched my room and locked the doors. I went to bed ; but I did not sleep as readily as I had believed I should. I would doze and start out of my sleep, my gaze going immediately to the foot of my bed.

I was by no means a hysterical subject, but I had received a violent shock and even the calmest of people cannot expect to recover immediately.

One of the clocks in the house was striking midnight when I took Dr.

Smith’s draught. Almost immediately I sank into a deep restful sleep.

Within a few days I had completely recovered from my shock, but I was still watchful. Nothing else of a similar nature had happened, but each night I locked my doors and was now sleeping normally without those distressing sudden awakenings to stare about the room, looking for an apparition.

The household had ceased to refer to the incident, and I guessed that in the servants’ hall they had decided that it was one of the queer things which happen to women who are expecting a child.

But I was no less determined to discover who had been disguised as the monk and, as I brooded on it one morning, I remembered that Hagar had said there had been clothes of all kinds in various chests about the house. What if in one of the chests there was a monk’s robe? If I could find such a thing I should be on my way to solving the mystery.

There was one person who might be helpful in this respect. That was Sarah—and I decided to go along and see her.

It was after luncheon, at which she did not appear, when I made my way to her apartments in the east wing.

I knocked at the door of her tapestry room, and I was pleased when she called to me to come in.

She was delighted that I should come to see her without being asked.

” Ah,” she cried, creeping round me and standing with her back to the door as she had the first time I had come here, ” you’ve come to see my tapestry.”

” And you,” I answered.

That pleased her.

“It’s coming along nicely,” she said, leading the way to the window-seat on which was the blue satin coverlet she was making for the cradle.

“Nearly finished,” she said, spreading it out for me to see.

” It’s exquisite.”

” I was afraid,” she said.

“Afraid?”

” If you’d died it would have been such a waste of time.”

I looked astonished, and she said: ” You were in your bare feet. You might have caught your death.”

” So you heard about it?” I said.

” I’ve used such a lot of my blue silks.”

” What did you think about … my fright?”

“All that work would have been in vain.”

” Who told you about it?”

” But it would have done for some other baby. There are always babies.” Her eyes widened and she went on: “Perhaps Luke’s. I wonder if Luke will have good babies?”

” Please don’t talk about my child as though it will never be born,” I said sharply.

She recoiled as though I had struck her.

” It made you angry,” she said. ” People are angry when they are frightened.”

“I’m not frightened.”

” Are you angry?”

” When you talk like that about my baby.”

“Then you’re frightened, because angry people are really frightened people.”

I changed the subject.

“The coverlet is lovely. My baby will like it.”

She smiled, well pleased.

” I went to see your sister a few days ago. She told me about a Christmas-time when Matthew dressed up.”

She put her hand to her mouth and began to laugh. ” They quarrelled so,” she said. ” She made his nose bleed. It went all over his jacket.

Our governess was cross. They had nothing but bread and water for a whole day. He’d dressed up, you see . to frighten her. ” She looked at me. her brows puckered; I could see that she was struck by the similarity of the incidents. ” What are you going to do, Hagar?

What are you going to do about . the monk? “

I did not remind her that I was Catherine. Instead I said:

” I want to see if I can find the clothes.”

” I know where the hat is,” she said. ” I was there when he found it.”

” Do you know where the monk’s robe is?”

She turned to me, startled. ” Monk’s robe? I never saw it. There is no monk’s robe. Matthew found the hat and he said he was going to frighten her when she was asleep. It was a hat with such a lovely feather. It’s still in the chest.”

” Where is the chest?”

“You know, Hagar. In that little room near the school room.”

” Let us go and look at it.”

” Are you going to dress up and frighten Matthew?”

” I’m not going to dress up. I merely want to see the clothes.”

” All right, she said. ” Come on. “

So she led the way. We went through the schoolroom and past the nurseries till we came to a door at the end of a corridor. She threw this open. There was a smell of age as though the place had not been ventilated for years. I saw several large chests, some pictures stacked against the walls, and odd pieces of furniture.

” Mother changed the Revels when she came here,” mused Sarah. ” She said we were overcrowded with furniture. She put some here … and some in other places…. It’s been here ever since.”

” Let us look at the clothes.”

I saw that there was a film of dust on everything, and I looked intently about me, for if anyone had been at these chests recently would they not have left some mark in the dust?

I saw an imprint on the top of a chest which was Sarah’s, and she was now ruefully looking at her hands.

” The dust,” she said. ” No one’s been in here for a very long time.

Perhaps not since we were children. “

It was not easy to lift the lid, as the thing was not only heavy but stiff; but we managed between us.

I looked down at the garments which were there. Gowns, shoes, cloaks, and there was the hat itself on which Sarah seized with a cry of triumph.

She put it on her head and she looked as though she had stepped right out of the picture gallery.

” Hagar must have had a fright,” I said.

“Hagar wouldn’t be frightened long.” She was looking at me intently.

“Some people are not frightened for long. For a while they are and then … they stop being frightened. You are like that, Hagar.”

I was suddenly conscious of the stuffiness of the attic, of the strangeness of the woman who stood before me, whose childlike blue eyes could be so vague and yet so penetrating.

She had bent over the chest and brought out a silk pelisse which she wrapped around her. The hat was still on her head.

” Now,” she said, ” I feel I am not myself. I am someone else … someone who lived in this house long long ago. When you wear other people’s clothes perhaps you become like them. This is a man’s hat though and a woman’s pelisse.” She began to laugh. ” I wonder, if I put on the monk’s robe, whether I should feel like a monk.”

” Aunt Sarah,” I said, ” where is the monk’s robe?”

She paused as though thinking deeply and for a moment I thought I was on the road to discovery. Then she said: ” It is on the monk who came to your bedroom, Catherine. That’s where the monk’s robe is.”

I began taking clothes from the chest, and as I could not find the robe I gave my attention to the smaller trunks and ransacked them.

When I could not find what I sought I felt deflated. I turned to Sarah, who was watching me earnestly.

“There are other chests in the house,” she said.

“Where?”

She shook her head. ” I hardly ever leave my part of the house.”

I felt the faintness coming over me again; the room was so airless, so confined; it smelt of dust and age.

What did Sarah know? I asked myself. Sometimes she seemed so simple, at others so knowledgeable.

Did she know who had come to my room in the guise of a monk? I wondered if it had been Sarah herself.

As this feeling became stronger I wanted to get away, back to my own room. I wondered what would happen to me if I fainted in this room among all these musty relics of the past, as I had in Hagar’s house.

” I must go now,” I said. ” It has been interesting.”

She held out her hand to me as though I were an acquaintance who had made a formal call.

” Do come again,” she said.

Gabriel and Friday were constantly in my thoughts. I was still hoping that one day Friday would come back to me. I simply could not bear to think that he was dead. But there was one matter which surprised me; although I remembered so vividly the occasion of my meeting with Gabriel, I had to concentrate to remember exactly what he looked like.

I reproached myself for this because in some ways it seemed disloyal; and yet, deep in my secret thoughts, I knew that although we had been husband and wife, Gabriel and I had been almost strangers in some respects. Each day some revealing action had betrayed to me the fact that I had a great deal to learn about him. I told myself that this was due to an innate reticence in his nature. But was this so? I had been fond of Gabriel; I had missed him deeply; but what did I miss?

Was it a friend rather than a lover?

Now I carried Gabriel’s child and I believed that when I held my baby in my arms I should be happy. Already I loved my child and the force of my emotion was teaching me that the feeling I had had for Gabriel was shallow compared with this new love. I longed for the spring as I never had before because, with the coming of spring, my baby would be born. But there were many dark days between me and that happy time.

The weather had set in damp and, even when the rain ceased, the mist was with us. It crept into the house like a grey ghost, and shut out the view from the windows. I liked to walk whenever possible, and I did not mind the rain for it was not cold yet and was that gentle damp which came from the south and which put a soft bloom on the skin. I felt very well, only impatient of the dragging of time.

I was delighted when I noticed for the first time the lines of green in the brown fields on the Kelly Grange land. The young wheat was pushing through the earth: the promise of a new year and a reminder that spring was on its way. My baby was due to be born in March and this was November. Four more months to wait.

I had been over to Kelly Grange to see Hagar, and Simon had driven me back. We no longer talked of the monk incident, but I had not ceased to be watchful; and there were occasions when I woke in the night startled from some vague dream and hastily lighted a candle to make sure that I was alone in my room.

My feelings towards Simon were undergoing a change and this was the result of my friendship with his grandmother. Hagar always welcomed me and if she did not say how pleased she, was to see me—she was after all a Yorkshire woman and therefore not given to demonstrations of affection I was certainly made aware of her pleasure in my company.

And when I was with her the conversation invariably turned to Simon. I was reminded again and again of his many virtues. I believed I understood him; he was blunt even to the extent of tactlessness; there was a hardness in his nature which I imagined no one but his grandmother had ever penetrated; but he radiated practical common sense; he liked under taking difficult tasks, which most people would find impossible, and proving that they weren’t all part of the arrogance, of course, but admirable in its way.

He was not uninterested to women. Hagar hinted at certain entanglements. Not that he had suggested marriage with any of these women. Hagar saw nothing immoral in this: a liaison would not have been nearly as shocking to her as a mesalliance.

“He has far too much sense for that!” she said.

“When he marries he’ll marry the right woman. He’ll see to that.”

“Let us hope,” I retorted, “that she whom he considers right will be able to apply the same adjective to him.”

Hagar looked startled. I think it astonished her that any one should not see this grandson of hers as she did. Which showed, I told myself at the time, that even the most sensible people had their weaknesses.

Hagar’s was undoubtedly her grandson. I wondered what his was. Or if he had any at all.

Still, I should always be grateful to him for believing my version of what I saw in my bedroom that night, and I was less cool with him than I had been before that happened.

I said good-bye to him and went straight up to my room.

It was late afternoon and in half an hour or so the darkness would descend upon us. There were shadows on the stairs and in my room, as I opened the door I felt that horrible sense of evil which I had experienced when I opened my eyes and saw the monk.

This was perhaps a slight matter to arouse my feelings. but it was reminiscent: the curtains were drawn about my bed.

I walked straight to them and drew them back. I was half expecting to see the monk there, but of course there was nothing.

I looked hastily round the room and went into the powder- closet.

There was no one there.

I rang the bell and very soon Mary-Jane appeared. ^ “Why did you pull the curtains about my bed?” I demanded.

Mary-Jane stared at th bed. ” But .. aw.Ssim … I didn’t …”

” Who else would have done that?”

” But, madam, the curtains are not drawn about your bed.”

“What are you suggesting? That I imagined they were? I have just drawn them back.”

I looked at her fiercely and she recoiled from me.

” I … I did now’t to ‘em. You’ve always said that you didn’t want them drawn….”

“Who else would have been here?” I asked.

” No one else, madam. I always do your room myself as Mrs. Grantley said I should.”

” You must have drawn them,” I said. ” How otherwise could they have been drawn?”

She backed away from me. ” But I didn’t, madam. I didn’t touch them.”

” You’ve forgotten. You must have forgotten.”

” No, madam, I’m sure I didn’t.”

” You did,” I answered unreasonably. ” You may go now.”

She went, her face stricken. The relationship between us had always before been so pleasant, and it was unlike me to behave as I had done.

When she had gone I stood staring at the door and Sarah’s words came back to me. ” You’re angry because you’re frightened.”

Yes, that was it. The sight of the drawn curtains had frightened me.

Why? What was so strange about drawn curtains?

The answer to that was simple. It was because I had been reminded of that other terrifying occasion.

After all anyone might have drawn the curtains . to shake out the dust, say . and then forgotten them and left them drawn. Why could not Mary-Jane have admitted to that?

Simply because that had not been the case. Mary Jane had not drawn the curtains. She would have remembered if she had, because I had always insisted that I would not have them drawn about the bed while I slept.

I was trembling slightly. I was thinking of it all again, that sudden waking in, the night . that awful apparition and then turning to pursue, only to be faced by a wall of blue silk. It had reminded me, that was all, and it had frightened me. But I was already asking myself whether it was possible that I was not forgotten, that the weeks of peace were now over and new terrors were being devised for me.

I had been angry because I was afraid; but I had no right to turn that anger against Mary Jane

I felt very contrite and went at once to the bell. Mary Jane came immediately in answer to my summons, but her bright smile was missing and she did not meet my eye.

” Mary-Jane,” I said, ” I’m sorry.”

She looked at me in surprise.

” I had no right to say what I did. If you had drawn the curtains you would have said so. I’m afraid I was overwrought.”

She looked expectant and still bewildered. Then she said:

” Oh … madam, it’s of no account.”

” It is, Mary-Jane,” I insisted. ” It was unjust, and I hate injustice. Go and bring the candles. It’s growing dark.”

” Yes, madam.” She went out of the room happier than when she had left it a few minutes before.

By the time she came back with the candles I decided to be frank with her. I was anxious that she should not think that I was the sort of woman who vented her anger on other people when she was suffering from some personal irritation. I wanted her to know the reason.

” Put them over the fireplace, and on the dressing-table. That’s much brighter. The room looks different already. Mary-Jane … when I saw those bed curtains drawn I was reminded of that occasion….”

” I remember, madam.”

” And I thought someone was playing another trick. So I wanted it to have been you who drew them. That would have been such a comforting explanation.”

” But it wasn’t, madam, I couldn’t say it was if it was’nt.”

” Of course you couldn’t. So I’m left wondering who did it … and why.”

” Anyone could have come in, madam. You don’t lock the doors during the day.”

” No, anybody could have done it. But … perhaps it’s not important.

Perhaps I’m too sensitive. It may be due to my condition.”

” Our Etty isn’t quite like she used to be, madam.”

” I believe women are often so.”

” Yes. She used to like to hear Jim sing. He’s got quite a voice, Jim has. But now she can’t abide it; she can’t bear what she calls noise of any sort.”

“Well, that’s how we are, Mary-Jane. It’s as well to be prepared for our strangeness. I’ve a dress here which I thought might do for you. I can’t get into it any more.”

I brought out a dark green gabardine dress trimmed with red and green tartan, and Mary-Jane’s eyes glistened at the sight of it.

” Why, madam, it’s grand. And it’s sure to fit.”

” Then take it, Mary-Jane. I’d like you to have it.”

“Oh, thank you, madam.”

She was a gentle creature. I believe she was as pleased that the pleasantness of our relationship had been restored as she was to have the dress.

When she had gone I felt that some of her pleasure remained behind her.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the looking-glass. I looked young, and my green eyes were brilliant. Candlelight is always so flattering.

But even as I looked I found I was peering beyond my own reflection; I was trying to probe the shadows in the room. I was expecting some shape to materialise behind me.

Fear had come back.

That night I slept badly. I kept waking to stare about my bed. I kept fancying that I heard the swish of silk. But I was mistaken. The curtains remained as I had left them and I saw no more apparitions in my room.

But who had drawn the curtains? I did not want to ask, for fear of attracting the suspicious glances again. But I was on the alert.

It was only a few days later when it was discovered that the warming-pan was missing from my room.

I had not noticed that it was gone, so could not say exactly how long it had been absent from its place on the wall over the oak chest in my bedroom.

I was sitting up in bed while Mary-Jane brought my breakfast-tray to me. I had taken to having breakfast in bed on Dr. Smith’s orders, and I must say that I was ready enough to indulge myself in this way, because, on account of the disturbed nights I was having, I almost invariably felt delicate in the mornings.

“Why, Mary-Jane,” I said, my eyes straying to the wall, “what have you done with the warming-pan?”

Mary-Jane set down my tray and looked round. Her astonishment was obvious.

” Oh, madam,” she said, ‘” it’s gone.”

” Did it fall or something?”

” That I couldn’t say, madam. I didn’t take it away.” She went over to the wall. ” The hook’s still there, any road.”

” Then I wonder who …” I’ll ask Mrs. Grantley. She might know what has happened to it. I rather liked it there. It was so bright and shining. “

I ate my breakfast without giving much thought to the warming-pan. At that stage I did not realise that it had any connection with the strange things which were happening to me.

It was that afternoon before I again thought of it. I was having tea with Ruth and she was talking about Christmas in the old days and how different it was now particularly this year when we were living so quietly on account of Gabriel’s death.

” It was rather fun,” she told me. ” We used to take a wagon out to bring the yule log home; and there was the holly to gather too. We usually had several people staying in the house at Christmas. This time it can’t possibly be more than family. I suppose Aunt Hagar will come over from Kelly Grange with Simon. They generally do, and stay two nights. She’s almost certain to manage that journey.”

I felt rather pleased at the prospect of Christmas, and wondered when I could go into Harrogate, Keighly or Ripon to buy some presents. It seemed incredible that it was only last Christmas when I was in Dijon.

Rather lonely those Christmases had been because most of my companions had gone home to their families and there were usually no more than four or five of us who remained at the school. But we had made the most of the festivities and those Christmases had been enjoyable.

” I must find out if Aunt Hagar will be able to make the journey. I must tell them to air her bed thoroughly; last time she declared we were putting her into damp sheets.”

That reminded me.

“By the way,” I said, “what has happened to the warming-pan which was in my room?”

She looked puzzled.

” It’s no longer there,” I explained. ” Mary-Jane doesn’t know what has become of it.”

” Warming-pan in your room? Oh … has it gone?”

” So you didn’t know. I thought perhaps you’d given orders for someone to remove it.” She shook her head. ” It must have been one of the servants,” she said. ” I’ll find out. You may be needing it when the weather turns, and we can’t expect this mildness to continue long now.”

” Thanks,” I answered. ” I’m thinking of going into Harrogate or Ripon soon. I have some shopping to do.”

” We might all go together. I want to go, and Luke was saying something about taking Damaris in to do some Christmas shopping.”

” Do let us. I should enjoy that.”

Next day I met her on the stairs, when I was on the point of going out for a short walk because the rain had ceased for a while and the sun was shining.

” Going for a walk?” she asked. ” It’s pleasant out. Quite warm. By the way, I cannot discover what happened to yom warming-pan.”

” Well that’s strange.”

” I expect someone moved it and forgot.” She gave a light laugh and looked at me somewhat intently, I thought. But I went out and it was such a lovely morning that I immediately forgot all about the missing warming-pan. There were still a few flowers left in the hedgerows such as woundwort and shepherd’s purse, and although I did not go to the moor I thought I saw in the distance a spray of gorse, golden in the pale sunshine.

Remembering instructions, I curtailed my walk, and as I turned back to the house I glanced towards the ruins. It seemed quite a long time since I had been to the Abbey. I knew I could never go there now without remembering the monk, so I stayed away, which showed, of course, that my protestations of bravery were partly false.

I stood under an oak tree and found myself studying the patterns on the bark. I remembered my father’s telling me that the ancient Britons used to think that marks on the trunk of the oak were the outward signs of the supernatural being who inhabited the tree. I traced the pattern with my finger. it was easy to understand how such fancies had grown.

It was so easy to harbour fancies.

As I stood there I heard a sudden mocking cry above me, and looked up startled, expecting something terrifying. It was only a green woodpecker.

I hurried into the house.

When I went to the dining-room that evening for dinner I found Matthew, Sarah and Luke there; but Ruth was absent.

When I entered they were asking where she was.

” Not like her to be late,” said Sir Matthew.

” Ruth has a great deal to do,” Sarah put in. ” And she was talking about Christmas and wondering which rooms Hagar and Simon would want if they came for a short holiday.”

” Hagar will have the room which was once hers,” said Matthew. ” Simon will have the one he has always had. So why should she be concerned?”

“I think she’s a little worried about Hagar. You know what Hagar is.

She’ll have her old nose into every corner and be telling us that the place is not kept as it was when Father was alive. “

” Hagar’s an interfering busybody and always was,” growled Matthew. “

If she doesn’t like what she sees here, then she can do the other thing. We can manage very well without her opinions and advice.”

Ruth came in then, looking slightly flushed.

” We’ve been wondering what had become of you,” Matthew told her.

” Of all the ridiculous things …” she began. She looked round, the company helplessly.

“I went into … Gabriel’s room and noticed something under the coverlet there. What do you think it was?”

I stared at her and felt the colour rushing to my cheeks, and I was fighting hard to control my feelings, because I knew.

“The warming-pan from your room!” She was looking straight at me, quizzically and intent. ” Whoever could have put it there?”

“How extraordinary!” I heard myself stammer.

” Well, we’ve found it. That’s where it was all the time.” She turned to the others. ” Catherine had missed the warming- pan from her room.

She thought I’d told one of the servants to remove it. Who on earth could have put it into the bed there? “

” We ought to find out,” I said sharply.

“I asked the servants. They quite clearly knew nothing about it.”

” Someone must have put it there.” I heard my voice rise unnaturally high.

Ruth shrugged her shoulders.

” But we must find out,” I insisted.

“It’s someone playing these tricks. Don’t you see … it’s the same sort of thing as the curtains being drawn.”

” Curtains?”

I was annoyed with myself because the drawing of the bed curtains had been a matter known only to the one who had done it, and Mary-Jane and myself. Now I should have to explain. I did so briefly.

” Who drew the curtains?” screeched Sarah. ” Who put the warming-pan in Gabriel’s bed? And it was your bed, too, wasn’t it, Catherine.

Yours and Gabriel’s. “

” I wish I knew!” I cried vehemently.

“Someone must have been rather absent-minded,” said Luke lightly.

“I don’t think it was absent-mindedness,” I retorted.

“But, Catherine,” put in Ruth patiently, “why should anyone want to pull your bed curtains about your bed or remove the warming-pan?”

” That’s what / should like to know.”

“Let’s forget all about it.” said Matthew.

“That which was lost is found.”

” But why … why …?” I insisted.

” You are getting excited, my dear,” whispered Ruth.

“I want to know the explanation of these strange things which are happening in my room.”

“The duckling is getting cold,” said Sir Matthew. He came to me and slipped his arm through mine. ” Never mind about the warming-pan, my dear. We shall know why it was moved … all in good time.”

” Yes,” said Luke, ” all in good time.” And he kept his eyes on my face as he spoke, and I could see the speculation there.

“We’d better start,” said Ruth, and as they sat down at the table I had no alternative but to do the same; but my appetite had deserted me. I kept asking myself what the purpose was behind these strange happenings which seemed in some way to be directed towards me.

I was going to find out. I must find out.

Before the month was out we were invited to the vicarage to discuss the last-minute plans for the imminent ” Bring and Buy Sale.”

” Mrs. Cartwright always gets the wind in her tail at such times,” said Luke. ” This is nothing to the June garden fete or her hideous pa gents

” Mrs. Cartwright is an energetic lady,” said Ruth, ” possessing all the qualities to make her an excellent wife for the vicar.”

” Does she expect me to go?” I asked.

” Of course she does. She’d be hurt if you didn’t. You will come?

It’s only a short walk, but if you like we can drive there.”

” I feel perfectly fit to walk,” I said quickly.

“Then we’ll go along. It’s an excellent opportunity for you to meet some of our neighbours. Now that we’re in mourning, the vicarage rather than the Revels has become the centre of our village. In the past, meetings were held here.”

We set out about ten-thirty, and in a quarter of an hour had arrived at the vicarage, a pleasant grey stone house close to the church. We joined one or two people going in the same direction and Ruth introduced me. I was studied with a certain amount of curiosity because they all knew that I was the wife whom Gabriel had married somewhat hastily and whom he had left pregnant after two weeks of marriage.

They were summing me up, which I accepted as normal in the circumstances. I expected there were some of them who believed that shortcomings in myself may have been the reason for Gabriel’s death.

Mrs. Cartwright, whom I had of course already met, was a large, somewhat florid woman with a powerful personality. She assembled us all in her drawing-room, which seemed small but only because I was accustomed to the rooms at the Revels, and here morning coffee with biscuits was being served by a maid.

I was conducted to the window from which I could see the churchyard. I could just make out the Rockwell vault with the wrought-iron work above it. and my thoughts immediately went to Gabriel.

When all the guests were present Mrs. Cartwright addressed us in her booming voice and told us of the need for speed. The sale must be in time to give people opportunities of buying their Christmas presents at it. ” So please ransack your attics, and any little objet of art will be appreciated. Perhaps it is something which you no longer value.

That does not mean that no one else will. Please try to bring in your offerings before the day. It does give us time to decide how to price them. And on the day … do come and buy. Remember it is for the good of the church and the roof does need attention. As you all know, there’s death watch beetle up there in the rafters. I know you will help. But the need is immediate, ladies. Has anyone any suggestions?”

There were some, and Mrs. Cartwright considered them and asked for counter opinions. It was all very businesslike and I admired our vicar’s wife for her energy.

When the business of the meeting had been settled she came and sat in the window with me and told me how glad she was to see me there.

” It is wonderful to see you looking so well and to know that there is to be an addition to the family. I know that Sir Matthew is delighted absolutely delighted. It is a comfort to him in the circumstances….”

She was one of those women who carry the whole of a conversation for the sheer joy of talking, and a better talker than a listener, I discovered. ” Such a great deal of work to be done. The people here are so good … so helpful … but between ourselves they are rather slow in taking action … if you know what I mean. One has to prod … prod … to get anything done. This sale of work will not produce half the profit unless it takes place well before Christmas. I do hope you will be able to bring us a little something . and you will come and buy, won’t you? Some little thing … just anything…. More than one, of course, if you have it. Anything … but the more valuable the better. Forgive me for begging so persistently.”

I said it was in a good cause and I would see what I could find. ” I have a brooch of turquoises and pearls … very small.”

” Ideal! How generous of you. And to-morrow … could we have it then? I’ll send someone for it.”

” It’s a little old-fashioned.”

” No matter. It will be wonderful. I am so pleased that you have come.

You are going to be such a help to us . particularly when . well, at the moment of course you are feeling less energetic than you will later. I can talk of these matters with feeling. I have six of my own. Ah yes, it is hard to believe, is it not? And the youngest is nineteen. He’s going into the Church. I’m glad one of them is. I was beginning to be afraid. As I was saying, you’ll be so helpful later, I know . with the pageant. I do want a pageant in the ruins this summer. “

” Have you had one before?”

” Five years ago was the last. Of course the weather was tragic.

Rain, rain, rain. That was July. I think we might choose June this year. July is a wet month really.”

” What sort of pageant was it?”

” Historical. It must be historical … with such a setting. The costumes were excellent.”

” We were lent some from the Revels and we made others. We were helped considerably from the Revels with the Cavaliers, but we made our own Roundheads. They were easy to do.”

” Yes, I suppose they would be. So you started with the Civil War, did you?”

” Good heavens, no ! We went back to before the Dis solution. It was the only thing to do with that wonderful setting all ready for our use.

It was most effective. People said that on that day it was as though the Abbey was no longer a ruin.”

I tried to keep the note of excitement out of my voice. ” So some. of the players were dressed as monks.”

” Indeed yes. Many of them. They all played many parts … you know.

A monk in one scene was a gay cavalier in another. It was necessary, you know. We haven’t enough players. The men are so difficult and shy!

There was many a female monk on that day, I do assure you. “

” I suppose their costumes were easy to make.”

“The simplest really. Just a black robe and a cowl … so easy to make it really effective, and against the grey ruins, I really think that part was the most successful.”

” It must have been. After all, there was the Abbey to help.”

“How wonderful that you should be so interested. I’m certainly going to try a pageant this year. But June … mind you. July is definitely a wet month.”

Ruth was trying to catch my eye, and I rose. I felt I had made an important discovery and I was very pleased that I had decided to come to the vicarage this morning.

” It’s time we went,” said Ruth, ” if we’re not to be late for luncheon.”

We said good-bye to Mrs. Cartwright and started for home.

I found it difficult to make conversation. I kept saying to myself:

Somebody who played the part of a monk in the pageant five years ago had a monk’s costume which still exists to-day. The person who came into my bedroom used it.

How could I find out who had played a monk in the pageant five years ago? Who, in our household, that is to say. It could only be Ruth, I guessed. Luke would have been too young. But would he? Five years ago he would have been twelve years old. He was probably tail for his age. Why should he not have played the part of a monk? Sir Matthew and Aunt Sarah would have been too old. That left Ruth and Luke.

I said: “Mrs. Cartwright was talking to me about the pageant. Did you play a part in it?”

” You don’t know Mrs. Cartwright very well if you think she would let any of us escape.”

” What part did you play?”

” The King’s wife … Queen Henrietta Maria.”

” Just that part and no other?”

” It was an important part.”

” I only asked because Mrs. Cartwright said that some people played several parts since she was short of players.”

” Those would be the people who had small parts.”

” What about Luke?”

” He was well to the fore. He was in and out of everything …”

Luke! I thought; and I remembered that it had been some time before he had appeared on that night; he had plenty of time to take off the robe and put on a dressing-gown He must have been very quick getting up to the second floor but he was young and active.

And the bed curtains and the warming-pan? Why not? He was the one who would have had every opportunity. My doubt was becoming almost a certainty. Luke was trying to terrify me; he was trying, to kill my child before it was born. Obviously Luke was the one who had most to gain from the death of my child.

” Are you feeling all right?” It was Ruth at my side.

” Oh yes … thanks …”

” Were you whispering to yourself?”

” Oh no. I was thinking of Mrs. Cartwright. She’s very talkative, is she not?”

” She certainly is.”

The house was now in view and we were both looking towards it. My eyes went, as they always did, to that south parapet from which Gabriel had fallen. There was something different about it. I stared and Ruth was staring too.

” What is it?” she said, and she quickened her pace. There was something dark on the parapet; from this distance it looked as though someone was leaning over it.

“Gabriel!” I think I must have said it aloud because Ruth at my elbow said: “Nonsense! It can’t be. But what … But who?”

I began to run; Ruth was beside me restraining me and I could hear my breath coming in great gasps ” Something’s there,” I panted. ” What .. is it … ? H looks .. limp….”

Now I saw that whoever was there was wearing a cloak and the hood of the cloak and part of the cloak itself was hanging over the parapet.

It was impossible to see the rest.

“She’ll fall. Who is it? What does it mean?” cried Ruth as she ran ahead of me into the house. She could go so much faster than I; I found it difficult to get my breath but I hurried after her as quickly as I could. Luke appeared in the corridor. He looked at his mother and then turned to stare at me, labouring up behind.

“What on earth’s happened?” he asked.

“There’s someone on the parapet,” I cried.

“Gabriel’s parapet.”

” But who … ?”

He had started up the stairs ahead of me and I went after him as fast as I could.

Ruth appeared on the stairs and there was a grim smile about her lips.

She was holding something in her hand which I recognised as a blue cloak which belonged to me—a long winter cloak designed to shut out the winds; there was a hood attached to it.

” It’s … mine,” I gasped.

” Why did you hang it over the parapet like that?” she demanded almost roughly.

” I … But I did no such thing.”

She and Luke exchanged glances.

Then she murmured: “It was made to look exactly like someone leaning over … about to fall. It gave me quite a shock when I saw it. It was such a silly thing to do.”

” Then who did it?” I cried. ” Who is doing all these silly cruel things!”

They were both looking at me as though they found me very odd, as though certain doubts they had concerning me were being confirmed.

I had to find out the meaning of these strange happenings. I was becoming nervous, continuously watching for the next. They were such stupid tricks except of course the appearance in my bedroom of the monk. If they had intended to alarm me they could not have chosen anything more calculated to do so. But these minor irritations. What did they portend? Luke and Ruth seemed to have made up their minds that I was eccentric but perhaps that was too kind a word. I was aware of them watching me on every occasion. It was un nerving.

I did think of going to see the Redverses and telling them everything, but I was growing so distrustful of everyone that I was not even sure of Hagar. As for Simon, he had taken my view of the monk incident, but what would he think of the bed curtains, warming-pan and cloak?

There was something sinister behind this and I had to find out what it was. I wanted to do so by myself because of this distrust which was stirring in me and which seemed to be directed against every person who was connected with the Revels.

The very next day I set out to call on Mrs. Cartwright. What she had to say about the pageant the day before had seemed important and I wondered whether I could glean more from her.

Besides the turquoise brooch I found an enamel box which I had had for years and had no particular use for, so I took this along as well.

I was fortunate to find her in. She was effusive in her H welcome and expressed great pleasure in the brooch and box.

” Ah, Mrs. Rockwell, this is kind of you. And to save me the trouble of sending! I can see you are going to be a great help to us. Such a comfort. I am sure these lovely things of yours will fetch a good price. And if you would like a preview, I'll be only too delighted to show you.” She looked at me slyly as though she thought this was my reason for coming.

I hesitated. I had no wish to arouse suspicions and I felt that since these strange happenings were taking place it was very necessary for me to have a reason for everything I did.

” Well,” I began.

She interrupted conspiratorially: ” But of course. And why not. You deserve it. It’s an excellent way of doing one’s Christmas shopping, particularly when it is not quite so easy to get about. I think people who help us should have special privileges…. Have a look round and then perhaps you will drink a cup of coffee with me?”

I said there was nothing I should like better; so she took me into a small room where the articles were set out and I selected a scarf pin, a snuff box and a Chinese vase. She was delighted with me not only as a bringer but as a buyer, and I felt that had put her in a good mood for confidences.

As soon as we were drinking coffee together in her drawing- room I turned the conversation to pageants. That was easy. It was a subject very near to her heart.

“And do you really propose to put on a pageant this summer?”

” I shall do my utmost.”

“It must be very interesting.”

“It is indeed, and you must have a prominent part. I always thought that members of our leading family should. Don’t you agree?”

“But yes,” I said.

“Have they always been amenable? I mean do they always take part in these affairs?”

“Oh yes, they have always been what I should call a dutiful family.”

“I’d like to hear about the pageant. I suppose Mrs. Grantley and Luke would take parts.”

” They did last time.”

” Yes, Mrs. Grantley was telling me. She was the wife of Charles I.”

“Yes, we did a big Civil War scene. That was because the Revels was actually occupied by the Parliamentarians. It’s wonderful luck that they didn’t destroy the place .. , the vandals! But then all the valuables had been hidden away.”

” That must have been exciting. Where were they hidden?”

“Now, my dear Mrs. Rockwell, that’s something your family might know more about than I do. It is a mystery though, I believe.”

” And you did that scene in the pageant?”

” Not exactly … we just had the advance of the Round heads, you know, and the occupation. Then we had the restoration of the family with the restoration of the king … linking up, you see, Rockwell history and England’s history.”

” And you showed the Abbey before the Dissolution. That must have been very interesting.”

” Indeed it was, and I propose to do that again. I mean it is essential. And of course it gives everyone an opportunity to play a small part.”

” It must have been most impressive to see all those black- robed figures about the place.”

” It was indeed.”

” Luke was only a boy then too young, I suppose, to play much of a part.”

” Oh no, not at all. He was most enthusiastic. He was one of our best monks. He was almost as tall as a man then. The Rockwells are a tall family, as you know.”

“You have an excellent memory, Mrs. Cartwright. I do believe you remember the parts which everyone played.”

She laughed.

“Amongst our immediate neighbourhood, of course. But this pageant was quite a big thing and we had people from all around playing parts; and of course that was good because it brought in spectators.”

” How many monks did you use?”

” A great number. Almost everyone had to be pressed into service. I even tried to get Dr. Smith.”

” Did you succeed?”

” No. It was his day for going to … that institution, and then of course he said he had to be on duty in case he was called somewhere,”

“And his daughter?”

“She had a part of course. She was the little Charles. She looked wonderful in velvet breeches with her long hair. She was too young for it to seem immodest, and the When did you last see your father?” scene was most affecting. “

” She couldn’t play a monk?”

” Indeed not. But I shall never forget her Prince Charles Everyone was splendid. Even Mr. Redvers and no one could say acting was his line.”

” Oh, what part did he play?”

” He was merely a monk, but he did join in.”

“How … interesting.”

” Will you have more coffee?”

“Thank you, no. That was delicious. But I should be going back now.”

” It was so good of you to come, and I do hope the purchases will be satisfactory.”

We parted with mutual thanks and as I walked home I felt bemused.

I was sure I had solved the mystery of the costume. Some person had used a pageant costume in which to frighten me. Luke had had one at some time. Did he still possess it? Simon had had one too. Yet he had not mentioned this when I bad told him of my experience.

At first I decided that I would discuss the matter of the costumes with Hagar and then I hesitated, because if I did so, Simon would hear of it; and I was not sure that I wanted Simon to know that I had discovered so much.

It seemed ridiculous to suspect Simon, for how could he possibly have been in the house at the time? And yet I had to remind myself that he was next in succession to Luke.

It was alarming to feel that I could trust no one, but that was exactly how I did feel.

So when I called to see Hagar the next day I said nothing of the cloak incident, although I longed to discuss it with someone. Instead I tried to keep the conversation on everyday matters and I asked Hagar if there was any Christmas shopping I could do for her. I told her that I hoped to go into one of the towns with Ruth and perhaps Luke, and if I did so I would be happy to execute any of her commissions.

She pondered this and eventually made a list of things which she would like me to get for her; and while we were discussing this, Simon came in.

” If you’d like to go to Knaresborough,” he said, ” I can take you. I have to drive in on business.”

I hesitated. I did not really believe he would have tried to frighten me, and yet I reminded myself he had not liked me in the beginning; it was only because of my friendship with his grandmother that we were brought together. I was unaccountably depressed because I felt it was only reasonable not to place him outside suspicion. If he could really be trying to harm someone in my position he must be the exact opposite of the man I had been sure he was. Still, I was determined not to trust him.

My hesitation amused him. It had not occurred to him that I suspected him of villainy, only that I feared to offend the proprieties.

He said with a grin: ” Ruth or Luke might like to come with us. If they’ll come, perhaps you would deign to.”

“That would be very pleasant,” I replied.

And it was eventually arranged that when Simon went to Knaresborough he should take Luke, Damaris and myself with him.

The day was warm for early December. We left soon after

SO nine in the morning and planned to be back by dark, which was of course soon after four.

As we sat together in the carriage, Luke and Simon appeared to be in high spirits; and I found myself catching them; Damaris was quiet, as usual.

It occurred to me that whenever I was away from the house I recaptured my old common sense. I ceased to believe that there was anything for me to fear. At least, I could assure myself, there was nothing with which I could not cope. I could believe, as I listened to Luke’s bright conversation, that he had played these tricks on me to tease me.

As for the first, he now probably realised he had gone too far, and that was why he was amusing himself with things like warming-pans.

He always regarded me in a slightly sardonic way. How foolish I had been to be afraid. I had merely been the victim of youthful high spirits.

That was my mood as we drove into Knaresborough.

I knew the town slightly from the past and it had always delighted me.

I thought it was one of the most interesting and charming old towns in the West Riding.

We drove to an inn where we had some light refreshment, and afterwards separated, Simon to do the business which had brought him here, Luke, Damaris and I to shop, having arranged to meet in two hours’ time at the inn.

Very soon I had lost Luke and Damaris, who, I presumed, had wandered off while I was in a shop because they wanted to be alone together.

I made the purchases Hagar had commissioned and a few for myself, and then, as I had almost an hour to spare, I decided that I would explore the town, something I had never before had an opportunity to do.

It was very pleasant to be there on that bright December afternoon.

There were few people about and as I looked at the gleaming river Nidd and those steep streets of houses with their red roofs, at the ruined castle with its fine old keep, I felt invigorated, and I wondered how I could such a short time ago have been so frightened.

As I made my way to the river I heard a voice behind me calling, ” Mrs.

Catherine,” and, turning, I saw Simon coming towards me.

” Hallo, have you finished your shopping?”

” Yes.”

He took his watch from his pocket. ” Almost an hour before our rendezvous. What do you propose to do?”

” I was going to wander along the river bank.”

” Let’s do it together.”

As he took my parcels and walked beside me, two things struck me one was the strength which radiated from him, the other was the loneliness of the river bank.

” I know what you want to do.” he said. ” You want to try your luck at the well.”

“What well?”

“Haven’t you heard of the famous well? Haven’t you ever visited Knaresborough before?”

” Once or twice with my father. We did not visit the well.”

He clicked his tongue mockingly. ” Mrs. Catherine, your education has ‘been neglected.”

” Tell me about the well.”

” Let’s find it, shall we? If you hold your hand in the water, then wish and leave it to dry you will get your wish.”

” I am sure you do not believe such legends.”

” There’s a great deal you don’t know about me, Mrs. Catherine; although of course that’s something else you haven’t realised. “

” I am sure you are the most practical person and never wish for that which can’t reasonably be yours.”

” You once told me that I was an arrogant man. There for you, doubtless think I regard myself as omnipotent. In that case I might wish for anything and believe I have a. chance of getting it.”

” Even so you would realise that you had to work for what you wanted.”

” That might be so.”

” Then why bother to wish, when work would suffice?”

” Mrs. Catherine, you are in the wrong mood for the Dripping Well. Let us for once cast out common sense. Let us be gullible for once.”

” I should like to see the well.”

” And wish?”

” Yes. I should like to wish.”

” And will you tell me if it comes true?”

” Yes.”

” But don’t tell me what you have wished, until it comes true. That is one of those conditions. It has to be a secret between you and the powers of darkness … or light. I’m not sure which it is in this case. There’s the well, and there is Mother Shipton’s Cave. Did your father tell you the story of Old Mother Shipton?”

” He never told me stories. He talked to me very little.”

” Then it looks as though I must explain. Old Mother Shipton was a witch and she lived here … oh, about four hundred years ago. She was a love child, the result of union between a village girl and a stranger who persuaded her that he was a spirit possessed of supernatural powers. Before the child was born he deserted her, and little Ursula grew up to be a wise woman. She married a man named Shipton and so became Old Mother Shipton.”

” ” What an interesting story. I’ve often wondered who Old Mother Shipton was. “

” Some of her prophecies came true. It is said that she foretold the fall of Wolsey, the defeat of the Armada and the effect the Civil War would have on the West Riding. I used to remember some of her prophecies; there’s a rhyme about them.

Around the -world thoughts shall fly In the twinkling of an eye . I used to know the whole thing and chant it to my grandmother’s cook until she chased me out of the kitchen. I made it sound like an evil prophecy intended for her alone. I remember:

Under water men shall walk Shall ride shall sleep shall talk. In the air men shall be seen . and it ends:

The world then to an end shall come In Nineteen hundred and Ninety-one.

” We have some years left to us then?” I said, and we were laughing together.

Now we had reached the Dripping WelL ” It’s a magic well,” he said. “

It’s known also as the Petrifying Well. Anything which is dropped in this well will eventually become petrified.”

” But why?”

“It has nothing to do with Mother Shipton, although I don’t doubt some people would like to say it has. There’s magnesian limestone in the water. It’s actually in the soil and gets into the water which drips through and down into the well. You must let the water drip on to your hands and wish Will you go first or shall I?”

“You first.”

He leaned over the well and I watched the water, which was seeping through the sides of the well, drip on to his hands.

He turned to me holding out a wet hand.

” I am wishing,” he said. ” If I leave this water to dry I cannot fail to get my wish. Now it’s your turn.”

He was standing close to me as I took off my glove and leaned over the well.

I was conscious of the silence all about us. I was alone in this spot and only Simon Redvers knew I was here. I leaned forward and the cold water I was sure it was the coldest water I had ever known dripped on to my hand.

He was immediately behind me and there came to me then a moment of panic. In my mind’s eye I saw him not as he had been a few seconds before, but wrapped in a monk’s robe.

Not Simon, I was saying to myself. It must not be Simon. And so vehement was my thought that I forgot any other wish than that.

I could feel the warmth of his body, so close was he, and I held my breath. I was certain then that something was about to happen to me.

Then I swung round. He stepped back a pace. He had been standing very near me. Why? I asked myself.

” Don’t forget,” he said. ” It’s got to dry. I can guess what you wished.”

” Can you?”

” Not a difficult task. You whispered to yourself: I wish for a boy.”

” ” It has turned cold. “

“That was the water. It is exceptionally cold. That has something to do with the lime, I think.”

He was staring beyond me and I was conscious of a certain excitement in him. At that moment a man appeared close by, I had not noticed his approach, but perhaps Simon had.

” Ah, trying t’well,” said the man pleasantly.

” Who could pass by without doing so?” answered Simon.

” Folks come from far and wide to test t’well, and to see Mother Shipton’s Cave.”

” It’s very interesting,” I said.

” Oh, aye. Happen so.”

Simon was gathering up my parcels. ” You must make sure the water has dried on your hand,” he told me; and I held it out before me as we walked along. He took my arm in a possessive manner and drew me away from the well into those steep streets which led to the castle.

Luke and Damaris were waiting for us at the inn and we had a quick cup of tea and then drove home.

It was dusk when we reached Kirkland Moorside. Simon dropped Damaris at the doctor’s house and then drove Luke ^ and myself on to the Revels, j I felt dejected when I entered my room. It was because | of these new suspicions which had come to me. I was fighting them, but they would not be dismissed. Why had I felt frightened at the side of the well?

What had Simon been thinking as he stood beside me? Had he been planning some thing which the casual arrival of a stranger had prevented his carrying out?

I really was astonished at myself. I might pretend to scorn the powers of the Dripping Well, but I had made my wish involuntarily and I fervently hoped it would come true.

Please let it not be Simon.

Why should I care whether it was Luke or Simon?

But I did care. It was then that I began to suspect the nature of my feelings for this man. I had no tenderness for him, but I found that I felt more alive in his company than I did in that of any other person.

I might be angry with him I so often was but being angry with him was more exciting than being pleasant with anyone else. I cherished his opinion of my good sense and I was happy because he admired good sense more than any other quality.

Each time I saw him my feelings towards him underwent a change, and I understood now that I was more and more under the spell of his personality.

It was since he had loomed so large in my life that I had begun to understand what my feelings for Gabriel had been. I knew mat I had loved Gabriel without being in love with him. I had married Gabriel because I had sensed a need in him for protection, and I had wanted to give it; it had seemed so reasonable to marry him when I could give him comfort and he could provide me with an escape from a home which was beginning to affect me more than ever with its melancholy. That was why I had found it difficult to remember exactly what he looked like; that was why, although I had lost him, I could still look forward to the future with hopeful expectation. Simon and the child had helped to do that for me.

It had been a cry from the heart when I had wished at the well:

Please, not Simon.

I had now become aware of a change in the behaviour of everyone towards me. I intercepted exchanged glances; even Sir Matthew seemed what I can only call watchful.

I was to discover the meaning of this through Sarah, and the discovery was more alarming than anything which had gone before.

I went to her apartments one day and found her stitching at the christening robe.

” I’m glad you’ve come,” she greeted me. ” You used to be interested in my tapestry.”

“I still am.” I assured her.

“I think it’s lovely. What have you been doing lately?”

She looked at me archly. ” You would really like to see?”

” Of course.”

She giggled, put aside the christening robe, and standing up, took my hand. Then she paused and her face puckered.

“I’m keeping it a secret,” she whispered. Then she added:

” Until it’s finished.”

” Then I mustn’t pry. When will it be finished?”

I thought she was going to burst into tears as she said:

” How can I finish it when I don’t know! I thought you would help me.

You said he didn’t kill himself. You said . “

I waited tensely for her to go on but her mind had wandered. ” There was a tear in me christening robe,” she said quietly.

” Was there? But tell me about the tapestry.”

” I didn’t, want to show it to anyone until it was finished. It was Luke….”

” Luke?” I cried, my heart beating faster.

” Such a lovely baby. He cried when he was at the font, and he tore the robe. All that time it hasn’t been mended But why should it be, until there’s a new baby waiting for it?”

” You’ll mend it beautifully, I’m sure,” I told her, and she brightened.

” It’s you !” she murmured. ” I don’t know where to put you. That’s why …”

” You don’t know where to put me,” I repeated, puzzled.

” I’ve got Gabriel … and the dog. He was a dear little dog.

Friday! It was a queer sort of name. “

“Aunt Sarah.” I demanded, “what do you know about Friday?”

“Poor Friday ! Such a good little dog. Such a. faithful dog. I suppose that was why … Oh dear, I wonder if your baby will be good at the christening. But Rockwell babies are never good babies. I shall wash the robe myself.”

” What were you saying about Friday, Aunt Sarah? Please tell me.”

She looked at me with a certain concern. ” He was your dog,” she said.

” You should know. But I ^shan’t allow anyone to touch it. It’s very difficult to iron. It has to be gophered in places. I did it for Luke’s christening. I did it for Gabriel’s.”

“Aunt Sarah,” I said impulsively, “show me the tapestry you’re working on.”

A light of mischief came into her eyes. ” But it isn’t finished, and I didn’t want to show it to anyone … until it is.”

” Why not? I saw you working on one before you’d finished it.”

” That was different. Then I knew …”

“You knew?”

She nodded. ” I don’t know where to put you, you see.”

” But I’m here.”

She put her head on one side so that she looked like a bright-eyed bird.

“To-day … to-morrow … next week, perhaps. After that where will you be?”

I was determined to see the picture. ” Please,” I wheedled, ” do show me.”

She was delighted by my interest which she knew was genuine.

” Well, perhaps you,” she said. ” No one else.”

” I’ll not tell anyone,” I promised.

” All right.” She was like an eager child. ” Come on.”

She went to the cupboard and brought out a canvas, and held the picture close to her body so that I couldn’t see it.

” Do let me see,” I pleaded.

Then she reversed it, still holding it against her. Depicted on the canvas was the south facade of the house; and lying on the stones in front of it was Gabriel’s body. It was so vivid, so real, that I felt a sudden nausea as I looked at it. I stared, for there was something else. Lying beside Gabriel was my dog Friday, his little body stiff as it could only be in death. , It was horrible.

I must have given a startled gasp, for Sarah chuckled. My horror was the best compliment I could have given her.

S stammered: “It looks so … real.” “Oh, it’s real enough … in a way,” she said dreamily. ” i saw him lying there, and that was how he looked. I went down before they could take him away, and saw him.”

” Gabriel …” I heard myself murmur, for the sight of the tapestry had brought back so many tender memories, and I could picture him more clearly than I had since the first days of my bereavement.

” I said to myself,” Aunt Sarah continued, ” that must be my next picture … and it was.”

” And Friday?” I cried. ” You saw him … too?”

She seemed as though she were trying to remember.

” Did you. Aunt Sarah?” I persisted.

” He was a faithful dog,” she said. ” He died for his faithfulness

” Did you see him, dead … as you saw Gabriel?”

Again that puckered look came into her face. ” It’s there on the picture,” she said at length.

” But he’s lying there beside Gabriel. It wasn’t like that.”

“Wasn’t it?” she asked.

“They took him away, didn’t they?”

” Who took him away?”

She looked at me questioningly. ” Who did?” It was as though she were pleading with me to give her the answer.

“You know, don’t you. Aunt Sarah?”

” Oh yes, I know,” she answered blithely.

” Then please … please tell me. It’s very important.”

“But you know too.”

” How I wish I did! You must tell me. Aunt Sarah. You see, it would help me.”

” I can’t remember.”

” But you remember so much. You must remember some thing so important.”

Her face brightened.

“I know, Catherine. It was the monk.”

She looked so innocent that I knew she would have helped if she could.

I could not understand how much she had discovered. I was sure that she lived in two worlds that of reality and that of the imagination; and that the two became intermingled so that she could not be sure which was which. People in this house underrated her; they spoke their secrets before her, not understanding that she had a mind like a jackdaw, which seized on bright and glittering pieces of information and stored them away.

I turned my attention to the canvas and. now that the shock of seeing Gabriel and Friday lying dead was less acute, I noticed that the work had taken up only one side of the picture. The rest was blank.

She read my thoughts immediately, which was a reminder that her speculations—if speculations they were were those of a woman who could be astute.

” That’s for you,” she said; and in that moment she was like a seer from whom the future, of which the rest of us were utterly ignorant, was only separated by a semitransparent veil.

As I did not speak she came close to me and gripped my arm; I could feel her hot fingers burning through my sleeve.

” I can’t finish,” she said peevishly. ” I don’t know where to put you that’s why.” She turned the canvas round so that I could not see the picture and hugged it to herself. ” You don’t know. I don’t know.

But the monk knows. ” She sighed. ” Oh dear, we shall have to wait. Such a nuisance. I I can’t start another until I finish this one. “

She went to the cupboard,” and put the canvas away. Then she came back to peer into my face.

” You don’t look well,” she said. ” Come and sit down. You’ll be all right, won’t you? Poor Claire! She died, you know. Having Gabriel killed her, you might say.”

I was trying to shake off the effects of seeing that picture, and I said absently: ” But she had a weak heart. I’m strong and healthy.”

She put her head on one side and looked quizzically at me.

“Perhaps it’s why we’re friends …” she began.

” What is. Aunt Sarah?”

“We are. friends. I felt it from the first. As soon as you came I said,” I like Catherine. She understands Hie. ” Now I suppose they say that’s why …”

” Aunt Sarah, do tell me what you mean. Why should you and I understand each other better than other people in the house?”

” They always said I am in my second childhood.”

A wild fear came into my mind. ” And what do they say about me?”

She was silent for a while, then she said: “I’ve always liked the minstrels’ gallery.”

I felt impatient in my eagerness to discover what was going on in her muddled mind; then I saw that she was telling me and that the minstrels’ gallery was connected with her discovery.

” You were in the minstrels’ gallery,” I said quickly, ” and you overheard someone talking.”

She nodded, her eyes wide, and she glanced over her shoulder as though she expected to find someone behind her. ” You heard something about me?” She nodded; then shook her head.

“I don’t think we’re going to have many Christmas decorations this year. It’s all because of Gabriel. Perhaps there’ll be a bit of holly.”

I felt frustrated but I knew that I must not frighten her. She had heard something which she was afraid to repeat because she knew she should not, and if she thought I was trying to find out she would be on her guard against telling me. I had to wheedle it out of her in some way, because I was sure that it was imperative that I should know.

I forced myself to be calm and said: ” Never mind. Next Christmas”

“But who knows what’ll have happened to us by next Christmas … to me to you?”

” I may well be here. Aunt Sarah, and my baby with me. If it’s a boy they’ll want it brought up here, won’t they?”

“They might take him away from you. They might put you …”

I pretended not to have noticed that. I said: “I should not want to be separated from my child. Aunt Sarah. Nobody could do that.”

” They could … if the doctor said so.” I lifted the christening robe and pretended to examine it, but to my horror my hands had begun to shake and I was afraid she would notice this. ” Did the doctor say so?” I asked. ” Oh yes. He was telling Ruth. He thought it might be necessary … if you got worse … and it might be a good idea before the baby was born.”

” You were in the minstrels’ gallery.”

” They were in the hall. They didn’t see me.”

” Did the doctor say I was ill?”

” He said Mentally disturbed.” He said something about It being a common thing to have hallucinations . and to do strange things and then think other people did them. He said it was a form of persecution mania or something like that. “

” I see. And he said I had this?”

Her lips trembled. ” Oh. Catherine,” she whispered, ” I've liked your being her . B don’t want you to go away. I don’t want you to go to Worstwhistle.”

The words sounded like the tolling of a funeral bell, my own funeral.

If I were not very careful they would bury me alive.

I could no longer remain in that room. I said: “Aunt Sarah, I’m supposed to be resting. You will excuse me if I go now?”

I did not wait for her to answer. I stooped and kissed her cheek.

Then I walked sedately to the door and, when I had closed it, ran to my own room, shut the door and stood leaning against it. I felt like an animal who sees the bars of a cage closing about him. I had to escape before I was completely shut in. But how?

I very quickly made up my mind as to what I would do. I would go and see Dr. Smith and ask him what he meant by talking of me in such a way to Ruth. I might have to betray the’ fact-that Sarah had overheard them, but I should do my utmost to keep her out of this. Yet it was too important a matter to consider such a trifle.

They were saying, ” She is mad.” The words beat in my brain like the notes of a jungle drum. They were saying that I had hallucinations, that I had imagined I had seen a vision in my room; and then I had begun to do strange things-silly unreasoning things and imagined that someone else did them.

They had convinced Dr. Smith of this—and I had to prove to him that he and they were wrong.

I put on my blue cloak—the one which had been hung over the parapet—for it was the warmest of garments and the wind had turned very cold. But I was quite unaware of the weather as I made my way to the doctor’s house.

I knew where it was because we had dropped Damaris there on our way back from Knaresborough. I myself had never been there before. I supposed that at some time the Rockwells had visited the Smiths, and that in view of Mrs. Smith’s illness, such visits had not taken place while I was at the Revels.

The house was set in grounds of about an acre. It was a tall, narrow house and the Venetian blinds at the windows reminded me of Glen House.

There were fir trees in the front garden which had grown rather tall and straggly; they darkened the house considerably. There was a brass plate on the door announcing that this was the doctor’s house, and when I rang the bell the door was opened by a grey-haired maid in a very well starched cap and apron.

” Good afternoon,” I said. ” Is the doctor at home?”

” Please come in,” answered the maid. ” I’m afraid he is not at home at the moment. Perhaps I can give him a message.”

I thought that her face was like a mask, and remembered that I had thought the same of Damaris. But I was so over wrought that everything seemed strange on that afternoon. I felt I was not the same person who had awakened that morning. It was not that I believed I was anything but sane, but the evil seed had been sown in my mind, and I defy any woman to hear such an opinion of herself with equanimity.

The hall seemed dark; there was a plant on a table and beside it a brass tray in which several cards lay. There was a writing-pad and pencil on the table. The maid took this and said: ” Could I have your name, please?”

” I am Mrs. Rockwell.”

” Oh!” The maid looked startled. ” You wished the doctor to come to you?”

” No, I want to see him here.”

” It may be an hour before he is here, I’m afraid.”

” I will wait for him.”

She bowed her head and opened a door, disclosing an impersonal room which I suposed was a waiting-room.

Then I thought that I was after all more than a patient. The doctor had been a friend to me. I knew his daughter well.

I said: ” Is Miss Smith at home?”

” She also is out, madam.”

” Then perhaps I could see Mrs. Smith.”

The maid looked somewhat taken aback, then she said:

” I will tell Mrs. Smith you are here.”

She went away and in a few minutes returned with the information that Mrs. Smith would be pleased to see me. Would I follow her?

I did so and we went up a flight of stairs to a small room. The blinds were drawn and there was a fire burning in a small grate. Near the fire was a sofa on which lay a woman. She was very pale and thin, but I knew at once that she was Damaris’s mother, for the remains of great beauty were there She was covered with a Paisley shawl and the hand which; lay on that shawl looked too frail to belong to a living human being.

” Mrs. Rockwell of Kirkland Revels,” she said as I came in. ” How good of you to come to see me.”

I took the hand but relinquished it as soon as I could; it was cold and clammy.

” As a matter of fact,” I said, ” I came to see the doctor. As he is not in I thought I would ask if you could see me.”

” I’m glad you did.”

” How are you today?”

” Always the same, thank you. That is … as you see me now…. I can only walk about this room and then only on my good days. The stairs are beyond me.”

I remembered that Ruth had said she was a hypochondriac and a great trial to the doctor. But that was real suffering I saw on her face and I believed that she was more interested in me than in herself.

” I have heard that you are going to have a child,” she said.

” I suppose the doctor has told you.”

” Oh … no. He does not talk about his patients. My daughter told me.”

” I have seen a great deal of her. She is so often at the Revels.”

The woman’s face softened. ” Oh yes. Damaris is very fond of everyone at the Revels.”

” And they of her. She is very charming.”

” There is only one fault that can be found with her. She should have been a boy.”

” Oh, do you think so? I hope for a boy but I shan’t really mind if my child is a girl.”

” No, I didn’t mind—one doesn’t oneself.”

I was talking desperately to keep my mind off my own plight, and I suppose I was not really thinking much about her or her affairs, but I said: “So it was the doctor who cared.”

” Most ambitious men want sons. They want to see themselves reproduced. It’s a tragedy when they are disappointed. Please tell me, is anything wrong?”

“Why do you ask?”

” I thought you looked as though it might be so.”

” I … I want to consult the doctor.”

” Of course. You came here to do that, didn’t you? I’m sure he won’t be long.”

” Let him come soon,” I was praying. ” I must speak to >um. I vmst make him understand.”

” Do you want to see him so vary urgently?” she asked.

” Yes … I did.”

” It’s on your own account, of course.”

” Yes.”

” I remember when I was having my children, I was continually anxious.”

” I didn’t know you had more than one, Mrs. Smith.”

” There is only Damaris living. I have made many attempts to have a son. Unfortunately I did not succeed. I bore two stillborn daughters and there were others whom I lost in the early stages of pregnancy. My last, born four years ago … born dead … was a boy. That was a very bitter blow.”

Although I could not see her face clearly because her back was to the light, I was aware of the change in her expression as she said. ” It was the doctor’s wish that we should have a boy. For the last four years … since the birth of the boy, I have never been well.”

I was in a hypersensitive state. Worried as I was about my own problem, I was aware that she, too, had a problem of her own. I felt a bond between us which I could not fully understand and which I felt she saw clearly but was uncertain of my ability to see. It was a strange feeling. I was already beginning to ask myself whether my imagination was betraying me. But as soon as such a thought came into my head I dismissed if.

I was myself—practical, feet on the ground. Nobody, I told myself fiercely—perhaps too fiercely—is going to tell me that I’m going out of my mind.

She spread her hands on the Paisley shawl with an air of resignation.

” One thing,” she said with a little laugh, ” there could be no more attempts.”

Conversation between us flagged; I was wishing that I had remained in that impersonal waiting-room for the doctor’s return.

She tried again. ” I was very upset when I heard of your tragedy.”

” Thank you.”

“Gabriel was a charming person. It is hard to believe

” It is impossible to believe … what they said of him,” I heard myself reply vehemently. “Ah! I am glad you do not believe it.

I wonder you don’t go back to your family … to have your child.”

I was puzzled, for I noticed that there was a little colour in her cheeks and I could see that the thin white hands were trembling. She was excited about something and I fancied she was wondering whether to confide in me. But I was watching myself, and I thought desperately:

Am I always going to watch myself from now on?

“My child—if a boy—will be the heir of the Revels,” I said slowly. “

It’s a tradition that they should be born in the house.”

She lay back and closed her eyes. She looked so ill that I thought she had fainted, and I rose to look for the bell, but just at that moment Damaris, came in.

” Mother!” she cried, and her face looked different because the masklike quality had left it. She looked younger, a lovely vital girl.

I knew in that moment that she was very fond of the invalid. Her face changed as her gaze fell on me. ” But Mrs. Rockwell What … ? How ?”

” I called on the doctor,” I said, ” and as I had to wait I thought I’d make use of the opportunity to see your mother.”

” Oh, but …”

” Why, have I done something I shouldn’t? I’m sorry. Are you not allowed to receive visitors?”

” It is the state of her health,” said Damaris. ” My father is very careful of her.”

“He is afraid they will over-excite her … or what?”

” Yes, that is it. She has to be kept quiet.” Damaris went to her mother and laid a hand on her brow.

” I’m all right, my darling,” said Mrs. Smith.

” Your head’s hot. Mother.”

” Would you like me to go?” I asked.

“Mease no,” said Mrs. Smith quickly, but Damaris was looking doubtful.

” Sit down, Damaris,” she went on, and turning to me: ” My daughter is over-anxious on my behalf.”

” And I expect the doctor is,” I said.

” Oh yes … yes!” Damaris put in.

” I know he must be because he is so kind to all his patients. I hear his praises sung wherever I go.”

Mrs. Smith lay back, her eyes closed, and Damaris said:

” Yes, yes. It is so. They rely on him.”

” I hope he will soon be back,” I said.

” I am sure he would have hurried back if he had known you were waiting for him.”

Damaris sat down near her mother and began to talk. I had never heard her talk so much before. She talked of our trip to K-nares borough and the Christmas holiday; she talked of the ” Bring and Buy ” sale and other church activities.

It was thus that the doctor found us.

I heard his footsteps on the stairs and then the door was flung open.

He was smiling but it was a different kind of smile from that which I usually saw on his face, and I knew that he was more disturbed than I had ever seen him before.

” Mrs. Rockwell,” he cried. ” Why, tills is a surprise.”

” I decided to make the acquaintance of Mrs. Smith while I was waiting.”

He took my hand and held it firmly in his for a few seconds. I had a notion that he was seeking to control himself. Then he went to his wife’s sofa and laid a hand on her brow.

“You are far too excited, my dear,” he said.

“Has she been exciting herself?”

He was looking at Damaris and I could not see his face clearly.

“No, Father.” Damaris’s voice sounded faint as though she were a little girl and not very sure of herself.

He had turned to me. ” Forgive me, Mrs. Rockwell. I was concerned on two counts. On yours and that of my wife. You have come to see me.

You have something to tell me?”

“Yes,” I said, “I want to speak to you. I think it is important.”

” Very well,” he said. ” You will come to my consulting room. Shall we go now?”

” Yes, please,” I said; and I rose and went to Mrs. Smith’s couch.

I took the cold clammy hand in mine and I wondered about her as I said good-bye. She had changed with the coming of her husband, but I was not sure in what way, for it was as though a shutter had been drawn over her expression. I believed he was going to scold her for exciting herself. She had the air of a child who had disobeyed.

Her welfare is his greatest concern, I thought; which is natural. He who is so kind to his patients would be especially so to her.

I said good-bye to Damaris and the doctor led the way down to his consulting room.

As he shut the door and gave me a chair at the side of the roll-top desk and took his own chair. I felt my spirits rise a little. He looked so benign that I could not believe he would do anything but help roe.

” Now,” he said, ” what is the trouble?” j ” Strange things have been happening to me,” I burst out. ” You know about them.”

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Some you yourself have told me. I have heard of the rest through other sources.”

” You know then that I saw a monk in my bedroom.”

” I know that you thought you saw that.”

” So you don’t believe me.”

He lifted a hand. ” Let us say at this stage that I know that you saw it if that comforts you.”

” I don’t want comfort. Dr. Smith. I want people to accept what I tell them as truth.”

” That is not always easy,” he said, ” but remember I am here to help you.”

” Then,” I said, ” there were the incidents of the bed curtains the warming-pan and the cloak over the parapet.”

” That cloak you are wearing,” he said.

” So you even know that.”

” I had to be told. I am, you know, looking after your neal th

” And you believe that I have fancied all these things that they did not really happen outside my imagination.”

He did not speak for a moment and I insisted: ” Do you? Do you?”

He lifted a hand. ” Let us review this with calm. We need calm, Mrs.

Rockwell. You need it more than you need any thing else. “

” I am calm. What I need is people who believe in me.”

” Mrs. Rockwell, I am a doctor and I have had experience of many strange cases. I know I can talk to you frankly and intelligently.”

” So you do not. think I am mad?”

” Do not use such a word. There is no need to.”

” I am not afraid of words … any more than I am afraid of people who dress up as monks and play tricks on me.”

He was silent for a few seconds, then he said: “You are going through a difficult time. Your body is undergoing changes. Sometimes when this happens the personalities of women change. You have heard that they have odd fancies for things which they previously have been indifferent ?”

” This is no odd fancy!” I cried. ” I think I should tell you immediately that I am here because I know you have been discussing what you call my case with Mrs. Grantley and that you have both decided that I am … mentally unbalanced.”

“You overheard this!” he said; and I could see that he was taken aback;

I had no intention of betraying Aunt Sarah, so I said:

” I know that you have been discussing this together. You don’t deny it.”

” No,” he said slowly, ” that would be foolish of me, wouldn’t it?”

” So you and she have decided that I am crazy.”

” Nothing of the sort. Mrs. Rockwell, you are very excited. Now, before your pregnancy you were not easily excited, were you? That is one change we see.”

” What are you planning to do with me … to send me to Worstwhistle?”

He stared at me, but he could not disguise the fact that the thought had been in his mind.

I was stricken with fury . and panic. I stood up but he was immediately beside me. He laid his hands on my shoulders and gently forced me back into my seat.

” You have misunderstood,” he said, resuming his seat and speaking very gently. ” This is a painful matter to me. I am very fond of the family ‘at the Revels and their tragedies affect me deeply. Please believe that there is no question of your going to Wortwhistle … at this stage.”

I took him up at once. ” Then at what stage?”

” Please, please, be calm. Very good work is done at … that place.

You know I am a regular visitor there. You have been overwrought for some weeks. You could not hide this from me. “

“I have been overwrought because someone is trying to make me appear-hysterical. And how dare you talk to me of that place! You must be mad yourself.”

” I only want to help you.”

” Then find out who is doing these things. Find out who had monks’ robes at the pageant. We might discover who still has one.”

” You are still thinking of that unfortunate incident.”

” Of course I think of it. It was the beginning.”

” Mrs. Rockwell… Catherine … I want to be your friend. You can’t doubt that, can you?”

I looked into those dark brown eyes and I thought they were very soft and gentle.

” I became interested in you from the moment Gabriel brought you to the Revels,” he went on. ” And when your father came to the funeral I saw how matters stood between you. That touched me deeply. It made you seem so … vulnerable. But I am being too candid.”

” I want to hear what you-have to say,” I insisted. ” I want nothing held back.”

” Catherine, I wish you would trust me. More than any thing I want to help you through this difficult time. Damaris is not much younger than you, and when I have seen you together I have often wished that you, too, were my daughter. One of my dearest wishes was to be the father of a large family. But you are growing impatient with me. Let me say briefly that I have always felt towards you as I would towards a daughter, and I have hoped that you would confide in me, that I might be able to help you.”

” The best way in which you could do that would be to find out who it was who dressed up as a monk and came to my bedroom. If you could find that person, I shall be in no need of help.”

He looked at me sadly and shook his head.

“What are you suggesting?” I demanded.

” Only that I want you to confide your troubles in me … as you would to your own father.” He hesitated and, shrugging his shoulders, added:

” As you might have done to a father who was closer to you than your own. I would gladly protect you.”

” So you think someone is threatening me?”

” Something is. It may be heredity. It may be …” * ” I don’t understand you.”

“Perhaps I have said too much.”

” No one is saying quite enough. If I knew everything that was in the minds of these people about me, I should be able to show you that you have misjudged me when you think me … unbalanced.”

” But you believe now that I want to help you. You do, I hope, look on me as a friend as well as a doctor?”

I saw the anxiety in his eyes and I was deeply moved. He had noticed my father’s indifference to me and in some way I had betrayed how that had hurt me. He had called me vulnerable. I had not thought of myself in that way before, but I was beginning to realise that it was exactly what I was. I had longed for the affection which had been denied me;

Uncle Dick had given it to me, but he was not here with me at this important crisis of my life. Dr. Smith was offering his sympathy and with it that particular brand of paternal devotion for which I had longed.

” You are very kind,” I said.

A look of pleasure touched his features. He leaned forward and patted my hand.

Then he was suddenly very serious. ” Catherine,” he said, as though he were considering very carefully what he was saying, ” a short time ago you told me that you wanted me to be absolutely frank. I have convinced you, haven’t I, that I have your welfare at heart? I want you to know too that I owe a great debt to the Rockwell family. I am going to tell you something which is not generally known, because I want you to understand my deep devotion to the family of which you are now a member. You may remember I told you that I began my life as an unwanted child, a poor orphan, and that it was a rich man who gave me my opportunity to do the work I longed to do. That man was a Rockwell—Sir Matthew in fact. So you see I can never forget the debt of gratitude I owe to the family and to Sir Matthew in particular.”

” I see,” I murmured.

” He wants his grandson to be born strong and healthy. I long to make that possible. My dear Catherine, you must place yourself in my hands.

You must take great care of yourself. You must let me take care of you. And there is one fact of which I believe you are ignorant; and I am now turning over in my mind whether or not I should tell you this.

“

” You must tell me. You must.”

” Oh, Catherine, it may be when you have heard it, that you will wish I had not spoken. I am asking myself at this moment—as I have so many times—whether it is wiser to tell you or not.”

” Please tell me. I don’t want to be left in the dark.”

“Are you strong enough to hear this, Catherine?”

” Of course I’m strong enough. The only thing I can’t bear is lies … and secrets. I am going to find out who it is who is doing this to me.”

” I am going to help you, Catherine.”

“Then tell me what this is.”

Still he hesitated. Then he said: “You must realise that if I tell you, I do so because I want you to understand the need for you to listen to my advice.”

” I will listen to your advice … only tell me.”

Still he paused and it was as though he were seeking the right words.

Then suddenly they came rushing out. ” Catherine, you know that I have for some years made a habit of visiting Worswhistle.”

“Yes, yes.”

” And you know what Worstwhistle is.”

” Yes, of course I know.”

” I am in a very trusted position there and I have access to the records of patients. As a medical man …”

” Naturally,” I interrupted.

” A close relative of yours is in that institution, Catherine. I do not think you know of this … in fact I am sure you do not. Your mother has been a patient at Worstwhistle for the last seventeen years.”

I stared at him; I felt as though the walls of the room were about to collapse upon me; there was a rushing in my ears. It seemed to me that this room with its roll-top desk, this man with the gentle eyes, were dissolving and in their place was a house made dark, not because the Venetian blinds were always drawn, but because there was always there an atmosphere of brooding tragedy. I heard a voice crying in the night: ” Cathy … come back to me, Cathy.” And I saw him, my tragic father, going off regularly each month and coming back dispirited, sad, melancholic.

” Yes,” went on the doctor. ” I fear it is so. I have never met your father but I am told that he is devoted to his wife, that he pays regular visits to the institution. Sometimes, Catherine, she knows who he is. Sometimes she does not know him. She has a doll which at times she knows to be a doll; and at others she thinks it is her child . you, Catherine. At Wortwhistle all that can be done for her is done . but she will never leave the place. Catherine, you see what I mean? Sometimes the seed is passed on. Catherine, do not look . so stricken. I am telling you that we can care for you . that we can help you.

That’s what I want to do. I am only j| telling you this so that you will put yourself in my hands. Believe me, Catherine. “

I found that I had buried my face in my hands and that I was praying.

I was crying: ” Oh, God, let me have dreamed this. Let it not be true.”

He had risen and was standing by my chair; his arm was about my shoulders.

“We’ll fight it, Catherine,” he said.

“We’ll fight it together.”

Perhaps the word “fight” helped me. It was a lifelong habit of mine to fight for what I wanted. I kept thinking of that vision I had had.

The curtain had been pulled about my bed. Who had pulled it? There had been a draught from the door. I would not accept this theory that I was the victim of delusions.

He sensed the change in my mood. ” That’s the spirit, Catherine,” he said. ” You don’t believe me, do you?”

My voice sounded firm as I said: ” I know someone is determined to harm me and my child.”

” And do you believe that I would be so cruel as to concoct this story about your mother?”

I did not answer. There were my father’s absences from home to be explained. How could he have known of these? And yet . I had always been led to believe that she had died.

Suppose it were true that my mother was in’ that place it was not true that my mind was tainted. I have always been calm and self-possessed.

There had never been any signs of hysteria. Even now when I had been subjected to this terror, I believed that I had been as calm as anyone could hope to be in the circumstances.

I was as certain as I ever had been that whatever had happened to my mother, I had not inherited her insanity.

” Oh, Catherine,” he said, ” you delight me. You are strong. I have every hope that we wilt fight this. Believe me, it is true that your mother, Catherine Corder, has been in Worstwhistle for the last seventeen years. You accept that, don’t you, because you know that I would not tell you this unless I had made absolutely sure. But what you won’t accept is that you have inherited one small part of her insanity. That’s going to help us. We’ll fight this.”

I faced him and said in a firm voice: ” Nothing will convince me that I have imagined these things which have happened to me since I came to the Revels.”

He nodded. ” Well then, my dear,” he said, ” the thing for us to do is to find out who is behind this. Have you any suspicions?”

” I have discovered that several people possessed a monk’s robe five years ago at the time of the pageant. Luke had one. Simon Redvers had one. And both of them are in line to inherit the Revels.”

He nodded.

“If anyone has been deliberately seeking to harm you …” he murmured.

” They have,” I answered vehemently. ” They have.”

” Catherine,” he said,” you are exhausted by your emotions. I should like you to go home and rest.”

I was aware how weary I was, and I said: ” I should like to be at home.

I should like to be in my room … alone to rest and think of all this.”

“I would drive you back but I have another patient to see.”

” I don’t want them to know that I’ve been to see you. I want to walk home and go in … just as though nothing unusual has happened.”

” And you want to say nothing of all this?”

” At present, yes. I want to think.”

” You are very brave, Catherine.”

” I wish I were wiser.”

” You are wise too, I think. I am going to ask you to do me a favour; will you? “

” What is it?”

” Will you allow Damaris to walk back with you?”

” That is not necessary.”

” You said you would take my advice, and this news of your mother has been a great shock to you. Please, Catherine, do as I say.”

” Very well. If Damaris has no objection.”

” Of course she will have none. She will be delighted. Wait here and I will’ go and fetch her. I am going to give you a little brandy first.

Please don’t protest. It will do you good. “

He went to a cabinet and brought out two glasses. He half filled one and gave it to me. The other he filled for himself.

He lifted the glass and smiled at me over it.

“Catherine,” he said, “you will come through all this. Trust me. Tell me anything you discover which you think is important. You know how much I want to help.”

” Thank you. But I can’t drink all this.”

” Never mind. You have had a little. It Will help to revive you. I am going to find Damaris.”

He went and I was not sure how long I remained alone. I kept going over it in my mind: My father’s leaving Glen House and not returning until the following day. He must have stayed a night near the institution . perhaps after seeing her he had to compose himself before returning home So this was the reason for that house of gloom; this was why I had always felt the need to escape from if. He should have warned me; he should have prepared me. But perhaps it was better that I had not known. Perhaps it would have been better if I had never known.

Damaris came into the room with her father. She was wearing a heavy coat with fur at the collar, and her hands were thrust into a muff. I thought she looked sullen and reluctant to accompany me, so I began to protest that I was in no need of companionship.

But the doctor said determinedly: “Damaris would like a walk.” He smiled at me as though everything were normal and he had not almost shattered my belief in myself by his revelations.

” Are you ready?” asked Damaris. ” Yes, I am ready.”

The doctor shook my hand gravely. He said I should take a sedative to-night as I was sleeping badly, implying to Damaris, I thought, that this was the reason for my coming I took the bottle he gave me and thrust it into the inside pocket of my cloak; and Damaris and I set out together.

“How cold it is!” she said.

“We shall have snow before morning if this continues.”

The wind had whipped the colour to her cheeks and she looked beautiful in her little hat which was trimmed with the same fur as her muff.

” Let’s go through the copse,” she said. ” It’s a little longer but we shall escape the wind.”

I was walking as though in my sleep. I did not notice where we went.

I could only go over and over in my mind what the doctor had told me, and the more I thought of it the more likely it seemed.

We stopped in the shelter of some trees for a while for Damaris said she had a stone in her boot which was hurting her. She sat on a fallen tree-trunk and removed the boot, shaking it and then putting it on again. She grew red trying to do the buttons up.

Then we went on, but the boot was still hurting her and she sat down on the grass while the operation was repeated. ” It’s a tiny piece of flint,” she said. ” This must be it.” And she lifted her hand to throw it away. ” It’s amazing that such a little thing could cause such discomfort. Oh dear, these wretched buttons.”

” Let me help.”

” No, I can do them myself.” She struggled for a little while, then she looked up to say: “I’m glad you met my mother. She was really very pleased to see you.”

” Your father seems very anxious about her.”

” He is. He’s anxious about all his patients.”

” And she is, of course, a very special patient,” I added.

” We have to watch her or she will overtax her strength.”

I thought of Ruth’s words. She was a hypochondriac and it was because of the doctor’s life with her that he threw him self so wholeheartedly into his work.

But my mind was filled by one thought only as I stood there among the trees.

Was it true? I did not ask that question about my mother because everything fitted so well. I knew that must be true. What did I mean then? I had asked the question involuntarily: Am I like my mother? In doing so I had admitted my doubts.

Standing there in the woods on that December day I felt that I had come as near to despair as I had in my whole life. But I had not touched the very bottom yet. That was imminent but at that moment I believed that nothing worse could happen to me.

Damaris had buttoned her boot; she had thrust her hands into her muff and we were off again.

I was surprised when I found that we had come out of the trees on the far side of the Abbey, and that it was necessary to walk through the ruins to the Revels.

” I know,” said Damaris, ” that this is a favourite spot of yours.”

” It was,” I amended. ” It is some time since I have been here.”

I realised now that the afternoon was fading and that in an hour or so it would be dark.

I said: ” Luke must take you home.” “Perhaps,” she answered.

It seemed darker in the ruins. It was naturally so because of the shadows cast by those piles of stones. ” We had passed the fish-ponds and were in the heart of the Abbey when I saw the monk. He was passing through what was left of the arcade; silently and swiftly he went; and he was exactly as he had been at the foot of my bed. I cried out:

” Damaris! There I look! “

The figure paused at the sound of my voice, and, turning, beckoned.

Then he turned away and went on. Now the figure had disappeared behind one of the buttresses which held up what was left of the arcade ; now it was visible again as it moved into the space between one buttress and the next.

I watched it, fascinated, horrified, yet unable to move.

I cried out: ” Quick ! We must catch him.”

Damaris clung to my arm, holding me back.

” But there is no time to waste,” I cried. ” We’ll lose him. We know he’s somewhere in the Abbey. We’ve got to find him. He shan’t get away this time.”

Damaris said: ” Please, Catherine … I’m frightened.”

” So am I. But we’ve got to find him.” I went stumbling towards the arcade, but she was dragging me back.

” Come home,” she cried. ” Come home at once.”

I turned to face her.

“You’ve seen it,” I cried triumphantly. ” So now you can tell them.

You’ve seen it!”

” We must go to the Revels,” she said. ” We must go at once.”

” But …” I realised that we could not catch him because he could move so much faster than we could. But that was not so important.

Someone else had seen him, and I was exultant. Relief following so fast on panic was almost unendurable. Only now could I admit how shaken I had been, how frightened.

But there was no need to fear. I was vindicated. Someone else had seen.

She was dragging me through the ruins and the house was in sight.

“Oh, Damaris,” I said, “how thankful I am that it happened then … that you saw.”

She turned her beautiful, blank face towards me and her words made me feel as though I had suddenly been plunged into icy water.

” What did you see, Catherine?”

” Damaris … what do you mean?”

“You were very excited. You could see something, couldn’t you?”

” But do you mean to say you didn’t!”

” There wasn’t anything there, Catherine. There was nothing.”

I turned to her. I was choking with rage and anguish. I believe I took her arm and shook her. ” You’re lying,” I cried. ” You’re pretending.”

She shook her head as though she was going to burst into tears.

” No, Catherine, no. I wish I had … How I wish I could have seen if it meant so much to you.”

” You saw it,” I said. ” I know you saw it.”

” I didn’t see anything, Catherine. There wasn’t anything.” I said coldly: ” So you are involved in this, are you?”

“What, Catherine, what?” she asked piteously. ” Why did you take me to the Abbey? Because you knew it would be there. So that you could say that you saw nothing. So that you could tell them I am mad!”

I was losing control, because I was thoroughly frightened I had admited my fear when I thought there was no longer reason to be afraid; and that was my undoing. She was clutching at my arm but I threw her off.

“I don’t need your help,” I said.

“I don’t want your help. Go away. At least I’ve proved that you are his accomplice.”

I stumbled on. I could not move very fast. It was as though the child within me protested.

I entered the house; it seemed quiet and repelling. I went to my room and lay on my bed, and I stayed there until darkness came. Mary-Jane came to ask if I wished to have dinner sent up to me; but I said I was not hungry, only very tired. I sent her away and I locked the doors.

That was my darkest hour.

Then I took a dose of the doctor’s sedative and soon I fell into merciful sleep.