Law Man

Chapter Nine I Could Work with This Mara

I pulled into the complex listening to Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon” which was on my Premier Chill Out playlist, the first one I’d made.

I needed to chill out.

It was Saturday, nine forty-five at night and I was driving from work to home, a home where Mitch was. I was exhausted beyond any exhaustion I’d ever felt in my life. My exhaustion crept deeper just knowing I’d be facing Mitch and everything else I would be facing in the coming days and weeks and I didn’t even know what that would be. I just knew it would be exhausting.

On my day off Wednesday, I’d taken the kids to school and then went home and dragged all of my stuff out of the second bedroom. I found places for some of it in my room, my storage unit and the living room. Then the delivery guys delivered and set up the beds and two dressers I bought from Pierson’s. They also took away my futon because I gave Jay, one of the delivery guys, a screaming deal on it. During this, I did laundry. After it, I went to the grocery store.

Kids were little but I found they made more than their fair share of laundry and they also went through more than their fair share of food.

I dragged the food home, tidied the house and after this, I found the day was already gone and I was nearly late leaving to get the kids. I ran back out to my car, picked up the kids and took them to the mall so they could pick their bedclothes for their new beds. Then we went to get them some shoes. Billy’s tennis shoes were falling apart and Billie’s shoes were scruffy and didn’t match the cute outfits Mitch bought her which, every girl knew, wouldn’t do.

While we were getting Billie shoes, we found more shoes Billie had to have (this was Billie’s idea but I had to admit I agreed, they were adorable little girl shoes and she had to have them). Then I decided that both Billie and Billy needed more than a few decent outfits and they definitely needed new pajamas and underwear so we got more clothes. Then I decided to quit spending money or we’d be eating canned soup until my next payday. So we went home and we had dinner. I made up their beds and put their clothes in their new dressers. Then I helped them with their homework which luckily, considering their ages, wasn’t too taxing. Finally they went to bed and I cleaned up after dinner.

Then I called Lynette to fill her in on everything. As in everything. Including Mitch. Before she could wind herself up into lecture mode and try to convince me I was the Ten Point Five I was not, I told her I was tired and had to crash. She let me go because she was nice and because she knew after years of trying her lecture wouldn’t get her anywhere.

LaTanya had the day off on Thursday and watched the kids for me that day. Since LaTanya wasn’t on the pickup and drop off list, this necessitated me driving the twenty minutes to their school, the half an hour to the complex to drop them off at LaTanya’s, then the half an hour back to Pierson’s, which meant my lunch hour went long. Mr. Pierson didn’t say a word but I knew I couldn’t do that often or the kids and I wouldn’t be eating canned soup. We’d be dumpster diving and living under a tarp.

Friday I had off. After dropping the kids off that morning, I rushed home and started to clean the house. Child Protective Services were an hour late showing up which was good because this allowed me to deep clean as if surgical cleanliness proved my ability to raise children. The guy who showed up gave the house a cursory look through, proving that surgical cleanliness didn’t mean much and it seemed nothing actually did. He checked some stuff off on a clipboard and informed me that my boss, Bradon, Brent, LaTanya, Roberta and “one Detective Mitch Lawson” gave me stellar references “the like we never see”.

Then he declared the kids were mine as long as Bill was in jail and I successfully completed foster parent classes but CPS would be calling around frequently to make sure all was well.

Finally good news.

Then I went to get the kids and off we trudged to childcare centers to check them out. The kids liked the more expensive one, of course. Or at least Billie did. Billy just agreed with Billie. I signed them up and told them my schedule for the next week, nine thirty to six thirties with Tuesday off. I also had Saturday off but the childcare center didn’t care about that since they weren’t open on weekends. I had no clue what I’d do with the kids next Sunday.

As I pulled in the spot beside Mitch’s SUV, I added that to tomorrow’s to do list.

Tonight, I was getting a glass of wine, lighting candles, putting my Premier Chill Out on low and relaxing.

That was after I got rid of Mitch who showed at eleven just like he said he would. I’d had a chat with Billy to try to rectify my mistake but I’d made a muddle of it. The fact that he didn’t come out of his room to greet Mitch (the way Billie did, enthusiastically) proved I made a muddle of it. This made an already not happy to see me Mitch look less happy. Luckily he was good at hiding it when he lifted up Billie and gave her a kiss on the cheek while she giggled.

I quickly explained his choices for lunch and dinner for the kids and told him to make himself at home. I then went to say good-bye to Billy with another word to him to be cool to Mitch because Mitch was cool and from the hard way Billy stared at me, I figured I made a muddle of that too. Then I had a cuddle and kiss session with Billie. Finally I said good-bye to Mitch, he lifted his chin at me and I skedaddled.

Now I was back, climbing the stairs and after executing that herculean task, deciding no wine, candles or music, just bed.

I unlocked my door, opened it, walked in and saw Mitch stretched out on my couch watching a baseball game.

God, he looked good stretched out on my couch.

His eyes came to me and did a head-to-toe.

“Jesus, you look wiped,” he announced but other than that, he didn’t move a muscle.

Great, I looked wiped. Undoubtedly attractive.

“That’s because I am,” I replied, walked in and dumped my bag on the coffee table. “Were they okay today?”

“Billie thinks I hang the moon but then I think Billie thinks everyone hangs the moon. Billy still thinks I’m a dick.”

So then, batting five hundred. Could be worse. Though, probably not fun spending the day with a nine year old who thought you were a dick.

Mental note: have another chat with Billy.

I pressed my lips together and stared at him stretched out on my couch. Since he looked so hot stretched on my couch that prolonged watching could conceivably burn out my retinas and I needed my retinas, my eyes drifted to the TV. I stared vacantly at the action on the screen. What I didn’t know was once I started, I was so zoned out and tired, I did this for a while.

“Shoes off Mara,” I heard Mitch order and automatically I put my hand to the back of my armchair to steady myself. I put my toes to my other heel and flipped off one shoe and then repeat on the other.

Nice. That felt better.

Mitch’s voice came to me again. “You mind if I finish the game?”

I did. I did mind. I wanted to go to bed. I wanted hot Detective Mitch Lawson off my couch before I did something in my extreme exhaustion that I’d regret, like jump him. I was tired but I reckoned I’d never be too tired to do that.

But after he watched the kids all day, if he didn’t want to miss the mere seconds he would miss walking from my apartment across the breezeway to his, who was I to say no?

“Be my guest,” I muttered, still staring mindlessly at the screen then asked, “Want a beer?”

“You got enough energy to get me one?” he asked back.

“Just,” I mumbled, turned and wandered into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and called, “Bud, Coors, Newcastle or Fat Tire?”

“Coors,” Mitch called back.

I decided against wine and went for beer. Wine required a corkscrew and a glass. Beer you just popped the cap and sucked it straight from the bottle. I didn’t have the energy to fiddle with a corkscrew and a glass. And anyway, wine didn’t go with baseball. Even Cubs fans who accepted everybody might look down on someone drinking wine while watching baseball.

I popped the caps, wandered back to my living room and got close enough to Mitch to stretch out an arm so he could take the bottle from my hand. He took it and I moved to the armchair and collapsed in it.

I sucked back beer. A lot of it. It tasted good.

“Ah,” I breathed after I was done. I lifted my feet and put them on the coffee table.

“Your feet hurt after you’re on those heels all day?” Mitch asked and I looked down at the high, spiked heels next to my chair.

Then I looked at the TV.

“Yes,” I answered.

Even though I wore heels every day for years, this was no lie. They still hurt.

I sucked back more beer and watched a Dodger strike out.

I vaguely sensed Mitch moving and I equally vaguely heard his beer bottle hit the coffee table. What was not vague was his hands capturing my feet to pull them into his lap thus twisting me in my seat.

My head jerked toward him to see he was no longer stretched on my couch. He was sitting at the end closest to my chair, my feet were in his lap and he was lifting his to set them on the coffee table.

“Um…” I mumbled when I’d regained the ability to speak. “What are you doing?”

His fingers on both hands dug into one of my feet, his palms wrapped around, the warmth, the pressure, the power, holy crap…heaven.

“Massaging your feet,” Mitch belatedly replied, long, muscled legs stretched out in front of him, eyes to the TV, his hands working sheer magic.

“Uh…Mitch, my feet are fine,” I told his profile.

“They’ll be better when I’m done,” he told the TV.

He was not wrong.

“I think –” I started to protest, I lost his profile and gained the full beauty of his face when he looked to me.

“Shut up, Mara, and relax.”

“’Kay,” I murmured.

He stared at me a second, shook his head and looked back to the TV, his hands not for a moment ceasing in giving bliss.

I drank beer and watched baseball while I tried to force myself to relax. Mitch finished with one foot and started on the other. I drank more beer, watched baseball and Mitch’s talented hands did what I could not do and forced me to relax.

I was in the zone. Beer done, bottle on the floor by the chair, eyelids half-mast, probably close to drooling when Mitch’s hands left the foot he was working on and went back to the other one but up, starting to massage my calf.

“Uh…Mitch?” I called.

“Quiet, baby, and relax,” he said softly.

“’Kay,” I whispered. I did this because he called me baby, because he said it softly and because his hands felt so good. Then I slunk down in the seat to give him better purchase on my legs.

I stared at the TV, Mitch rubbed the tension out of my legs and together we watched the Dodgers win by a bottom of the ninth, two run homerun.

My head tipped back when Mitch’s hands stopped moving on my flesh, his feet came off the coffee table and he gently set mine back on it. Then he was up and I watched that too, my head pressing into the back of the chair to keep my eyes on all the magnificence that was him. Then I watched him bend toward me and put his hands on the armrests on either side of me, his face close to mine.

“I like this Mara,” he said quietly. “I could work with this Mara.”

I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“I’m always this Mara,” I whispered, not able to talk louder not because I was exhausted and relaxed but because I liked his face that close to mine. I liked the way he said my name in that quiet voice. And it was taking everything I had not to lean in two inches and kiss him.

“No, sweetheart, the usual Mara has got herself wrapped so tight in that cocoon she’s woven around herself, she’ll never break free.”

Oh no. Not this again.

“Please, Mitch, I’m worn out. Can we not go there?”

“All right,” he replied without hesitation. “We won’t go there but I’m gonna take advantage of you bein’ worn out and point out that you are and if you’d let me in, I could help and maybe you wouldn’t be.”

I was never letting him in.

“I’ll get used to it.”

“You might or it might wear you down.”

“I’ll be fine.”

He shook his head and one of his hands left the armrest. It lifted and I held my breath as he took that lock of hair that always escaped the twist at the back and tucked it behind my ear. A whoosh surged through me because him so close, looking so good and his touch being so tender was something I’d never had.

Not in my whole life.

And it was beautiful.

Then he was speaking as his fingers trailed from behind my ear down my jaw. “I’m sensing, baby, you’re not a fighter. You’re a survivor. You need to be a fighter not to get worn down by all this shit.” His hand cupped my jaw, his eyes roamed my face, his face warmed and he whispered, “What I’d pay money to know is what you survived.”

Stupidly, I replied, “It wasn’t that interesting.”

His eyes instantly cut to mine. “So it was something.”

Oh shit.

Mental note when dealing with Mitch: he was a police detective and he had ways of getting information therefore never let your guard down.

“It’s just normal, everyday life stuff. Lots of people have been through worse than me,” I told him. When his eyes didn’t leave mine and his thumb swept my cheekbone and that felt so freaking nice, I repeated, “Lots of people.”

“Normal everyday stuff does not make someone retreat from life like you do.”

“I don’t retreat from life. I have a job. Friends. A car –”

Mitch’s hand left my face and planted itself back in the armrest as his next surprising words cut me off and totally flipped me out.

“You’re into me,” he declared.

My breath froze in my throat.

I pushed passed it to whisper, “Pardon?”

“You’re into me,” he repeated.

I straightened in my chair and since he didn’t move I, firstly, had no escape and I, secondly and stupidly, brought my face even closer to his.

“I’m not into you,” I lied.

“Liar,” Mitch called me on it. “You’re so into me you’re shit-scared of me.”

God! I hated it when he figured me out.

“I am not!” I lied again.

He ignored me. “A woman like you, who looks like you, dresses like you, who’s into me does not run away from me, she does not push me away and she does not lie to her friends about me unless she’s for some secret reason shit-scared of me.”

Okay, we were done.

“You need to leave,” I told him.

He continued to ignore me. “What a woman like you who’s not got some secret that makes her shit-scared of me does is make me pizza. She tells me about her life. She asks me about mine. And she doesn’t get pissed as all hell anytime I get close to figuring something out about her.”

“Well, you would know. You’ve had plenty of women ‘into you’ parading in and out of your apartment,” I fired back.

“So, you paid attention,” he returned.

“It was hard to miss.”

“No, Mara, you paid attention.”

He was not wrong about that.

Moving on.

“I will remind you, Mitch, that when I made you that pizza that you said you didn’t care much about but bring up all the time, you had a woman in your apartment.”

“And I’ll remind you, Mara, that I told you I’d be over in fifteen minutes which meant I intended to get rid of her in fifteen minutes so I could be with you.”

“So you could have my pizza!” I snapped.

“No,” he growled, visibly losing patience, “so I could be with you.”

I glared at him. He kept talking.

“And I was here in fifteen minutes but you were gone and when you got back, I came to you and tried to explain and you shut the door in my face.”

“It was late,” I reminded him.

He ignored me again. “I had no idea she was comin’ over. I didn’t want her over. I wasn’t happy she was over because she and I have been over awhile and she just doesn’t get it. But mostly I wasn’t happy she was over because I wanted…to be…with you.”

“Can I ask that we have this conversation another time like…never?” I requested sarcastically.

Mitch ignored me yet again. “Why do you find it so difficult even to consider the fact that I want to be with you?”

“Mitch, please, would you just shut up and leave?” I snapped.

“Yeah, I’ll shut up when you give me an honest answer.”

“I already have,” I lied.

“What was that everyday life thing that you survived?” he asked.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” I answered.

“If it was an everyday life thing that wasn’t a big deal, why won’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s not your business, now will you shut up and go?”

“It isn’t because it’s not my business, it’s something else.”

“God! Will you just shut up and go?”

“Yeah, I will, after you fuckin’ talk to me.”

“Why are you pushing this?” I bit off.

“Why do you think?” he shot back.

“I’ve no idea.”

“Could it be, Mara, because I’m into you?”

I pushed back against the armchair, staring at him, stunned.

Then I felt the shutters snap closed on my soul as I whispered, “Shut up.”

His eyes roamed my face then captured mine and he whispered back, “Christ, you won’t even let that penetrate.”

“Shut up,” I whispered.

“What happened to you?” he whispered back.

“Shut up, Mitch.”

His hand came back to my jaw and he asked gently, “Baby, what happened to you?”

“Shut up.”

His thumb swept my cheek again, God, so sweet, so tender then his fingers sifted back into my hair.

“Did someone hurt you?”

Still gentle.

God. Beautiful.

“Please, shut up.”

“Who hurt you, baby?”

“Shut up.”

His fingers curled around the back of my head, his face moved to within an inch of mine and his soulful eyes were so close. So, so close.

“How did they hurt you?”

That was when I lost it. I couldn’t take anymore. Not with him that close, his deep voice that sweet, his hand on me, his eyes looking into mine like he could see into my soul.

I had to stop the questions. I had to shut him up.

So I did. I lifted both my hands and put them to both sides of his head and I moved up as I pulled him down to me. Tilting my head at the last second, I pressed my lips against his and I did this hard.

Immediately, his arms wrapped around me tight, pulling me to him, locking me close as he lifted up, taking me with him as he straightened. My body tight to his, his head slanting, his mouth opening, mine following suit and his tongue swept inside.

Oh God.

My hands left his head so I could wrap my arms around his neck. He tasted good, he felt good against me and it had been a long time since I’d been kissed. Destry and I broke up over two years ago. I hadn’t even had a date, much less a lover, and definitely no kisses.

And this kiss was a great kiss. Not because Mitch was a Ten Point Five and the impossible was happening and he was kissing a Two Point Five. It was just because it was a great kiss. He knew what he was doing and I liked what he was doing, all of it.

This must have been why one of my hands curled around his neck and went up. My fingers slid into his hair and I was right, it was soft. It was also thick. It felt as beautiful as it looked.

I pressed myself to him to get more of him, more of his kiss and his arm at my waist slid down, his hand curling around my hip and, thankfully, he pulled me into him. This made me make a noise in the back of my throat, my other hand went down to press under his arm to wrap my arm around him and my fingers encountered the hard muscle of his back. At the feel of it, which I liked a lot, I pressed deeper. My chest into his, my hips into his and my tongue tangled with his as my hand held his head to mine and our heads moved. Switching position, then back, then again, and again, our lips locked, our tongues dancing, drinking, our bodies pressed deep, our arms caging each other in.

It was the best kiss I’d ever had, it could have been the best kiss in history and I never wanted it to end.

But everything ended, though the way our kiss did rocked my world.

Mitch tore his mouth from mine but I felt his forehead rest against mine before I heard him growl on an arm squeeze that took what little breath I had left, “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, baby, you can kiss.”

My eyes opened slowly to see his right there and I didn’t think because I couldn’t think and therefore I didn’t stop myself before I blurted stupidly and breathlessly, “Oh my God, that was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

His fingers tensed against my scalp and his shocking reply was, “Damn straight.”

It was then I noticed we were both breathing heavily. Our breaths mingled against our lips which were still close. We were looking into each other’s eyes and neither of us had moved even a smidgeon away so we were pressed deep and wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Yeah,” he whispered, his arms going tighter, one side of his mouth inching up and his eyes going warm. “I could work with this Mara.”

I closed my eyes slowly.

Oh God. Now what had I done?

I opened my eyes and whispered back, “Mitch –”

Before I could say another word, there was a pounding at the door.

Then I heard my mother shout, “Marabelle Jolene Hanover! Open this fuckin’ door!”

That was when my body and face froze in terror.