Law Man

Chapter Six Butterflies and Flowers

My alarm went off. I opened my eyes and saw it was an hour and a half earlier than it was normally set to go off. I blinked at it and then I remembered.

I reached out a hand to turn it off and rolled carefully.

Billie was dead asleep next to me, sprawled out on my bed, the fingers of her right hand clutching a new, little, fluffy pink teddy bear. She was sprawled yet she was so small she didn’t take up much of the bed. And she was also apparently oblivious to alarm clocks.

I moved into her, kissed her forehead then exited the bed and went to my bathroom, yesterday evening playing out in my head.

Suffice it to say things at Bill’s did not go well. In fact, they went worse than I could have imagined because things at Bill’s were worse than I ever imagined.

This was not because I lost it or Bill lost it when I shared with him that I intended to get custody of his kids. Though he did lose it but not because I told him I intended to take his kids from him.

This was because Mitch lost it. I knew I didn’t want him to know about Bill, Billy and Billie and how all that reflected on me and him losing it only proved I was very, very right.

Even so, this had been surprising. I didn’t know Mitch very well but I’d seen him get angry. I’d heard him get angry. And he could be a jerk when he was angry.

Then again, I didn’t know just how bad things were at Bill’s.

And they were bad.

You see when we walked into Bill’s, he was on the couch and he was high as a kite. His eyes were glassy, his body limp and his limbs not in his control. There was an open bottle of half-drunk vodka next to some drug paraphernalia on the dirty, cluttered coffee table in front of him.

I stared at my cousin, frozen in shock. I’d never seen him like this. I’d seen him drunk, of course. I’d even seen him drunk around his kids, though infrequently. I’d also seen him high, back in the day, and guessed he still partook but my guess was he partook of weed. Not what would necessitate him having the kind of drug paraphernalia he had right then. I’d never seen him high like this and definitely not high around his kids

He didn’t hide his liquor from me or his kids which was something I didn’t like. I knew how weird and uncomfortable it was seeing a parent drink all the time, drink until they were fall down, crazy, stupid and sometimes mean drunk. And I didn’t want that for Billy and Billie. But it wasn’t illegal and to my knowledge it didn’t happen very often.

I’d never seen the drug paraphernalia. Not ever.

Seeing Bill sitting on his couch getting stoned, not worrying that his kids were gone and not out searching high and low for them but instead getting drunk and high pissed me off to no end.

Also, I’d tidied their house that week, twice, and it looked like it hadn’t been picked up or cleaned in the last decade. How it could go from relatively clean and tidy to a disaster in a few days was beyond me but it did. The proof was spread out before me.

But I couldn’t think about any of this. I had to think of the kids who I didn’t want to see this. So I turned to them saying, “Kids, go to your room.”

To this Billy, his eyes on his Dad, his lips in a mini-nine year old kid sneer, replied, “This is no big deal. We’ve seen this before, Auntie Mara. We see it like, all the time.”

I froze again for half a second at learning this knowledge before my eyes moved to Billie to see she didn’t seem overly perturbed by the state of her Dad. Although she was standing very close to her brother in a way that it appeared she was seeking some sort of protection. The only hint she gave that she was uncomfortable was her ankle twisted to the side and her little girl hand was clenched in her brother’s. I turned back to my cousin and on my turn I saw that Mitch was examining Billy and Billie and his jaw was rock hard.

Then Mitch, too, turned back to Bill and growled in a voice that sent a chill up my spine, “Your kids are gone, you got no food in the house but you can get your hands on smack and vodka?”

Bill blinked up at Mitch then blinked at me then grinned a wonky (not adorable) grin and slurred, “Hey, beautiful Mara.”

“Bill –” I started but Mitch interrupted me.

“Get their shit,” he ordered tersely, my head whipped to him and that was when I noticed he was losing it. He was holding on but only by a thread. I knew this because it wasn’t only his jaw that was rock hard, his entire face was.

“Pardon?” I whispered cautiously.

He was digging into his back jeans pocket but his eyes never left Bill when he said to me, “Get their shit.”

“Mitch –” I began and his gaze sliced to me.

“Get their shit,” he snarled. “All of it.”

He then pulled out his phone and I thought maybe I should make an effort to tame the suddenly savage beast.

“Maybe while I talk with Bill, you could help them –” I started to suggest and Mitch leaned into me and I stopped speaking because at that moment the thread on his control snapped and he roared, “Mara, get their shit!”

I blinked in the face of his anger as my heart stuttered in my chest.

I thought this was my scene, my struggle, my fight and Mitch was along for the ride. What I realized in that moment, staring in the face of his fury was that I was not in control of this situation and there was no way I was going to gain control. No way at all.

That was why I whispered, “Okay, Mitch.”

He flipped his phone open with sharp, angry movements, holding his entire body tense while he did it like if he didn’t he wouldn’t be responsible for what his body would do.

Then he hit some buttons as Bill said on a wince, “Dude, keep it down. What the fuck?”

“Shut your mouth,” Mitch ground out, eyes to his phone, face hard.

Bill looked to me. “Who’s this fuckin’ guy and what’s his fuckin’ problem?”

“Right now, I’m your problem, assclown,” Mitch bit off, his eyes cutting to Bill.

I glanced at Billy and Billie. Billie was staring wide-eyed at the proceedings. Billy was fighting back a grin.

Oh boy.

Maybe I should try to gain control of the situation.

“Mitch,” I said, sidling closer to him, “maybe you should –”

I didn’t finish again because his eyes cut to me again and he asked on a dangerous whisper, “What’d I tell you to do?”

I stared up at him frozen to the spot. Okay, that answered that. Mitch was in charge.

I nodded and turned to the kids. “All right guys. Let’s go get your stuff.” I moved to them. “Come on, let’s go.”

Billy grinned at me then tugged his sister’s hand and they moved down the hall. They shared a room which was okay for now considering their ages but it was just okay. Billy was getting old enough he needed his own space and it wouldn’t be long before it was borderline inappropriate for a brother and sister to share a room.

I wondered what the rent on the three-bedroom townhouses at the complex was as I searched for some kind of luggage or bags. Though I knew this would be fruitless as I knew there were none and I was right. They didn’t even have garbage bags, something I discovered upon tidying one of the million times I tidied. I always meant to remember to buy some and, being me and being a dork, I always forgot.

I found a load of plastic grocery bags (Bill clearly not the kind of person to worry about the environment). By the time we filled these with Billy and Billie’s not so abundant collection of clothes, shoes and toys, I found they barely had any soap or shampoo. I added a quick pit stop to the store on my evening’s agenda. Then we trudged out to the living room carrying the bags only to find there were two police officers in the room.

“You brought a cop here!” Bill shouted when the kids and I hit the room and I looked at my cousin to see he’d lost his drugged lethargy. He was pacing agitatedly and awkwardly while he eyed the cops and me.

“Bill –” I started.

“Mara,” Mitch called and I stopped talking and looked to him. He was holding out his keys. “Load up the truck.”

“But –” I began again.

“I can’t believe you brought a fuckin’ cop here!” Bill yelled, he was up but his coordination was not so good and he was mostly fumbling around. I didn’t figure he was much of a threat, what with him being drunk and high and three cops being in the room.

“I’ll deal with this,” Mitch caught my attention. “Load up the truck.”

My eyes went to the uniformed police officers before going to Mitch. I was thinking this was not good. Bill was an idiot but he was my cousin and he was the kids’ Dad. There was good in him somewhere, I knew it. I just needed to stop screwing around living in denial and find a way to jumpstart him by pulling out the good so he could get himself sorted. I needed to remind him how we used to talk about how we wanted our lives to be and how we’d dreamed and schemed of making them something better. I just needed to make sure Billy and Billie were safe while Bill sorted himself out and I was thinking my plans might be foiled if Bill was thrown into jail because of me.

“I think –” I started to say to Mitch.

His eyes narrowed before he clipped, “Baby, load up the fuckin’ truck.”

The uniformed police officers were both studying me with what appeared to be weirdly intense interest but I was again frozen in the face of Mitch’s fury. It was then that Billy moved forward, calmly grabbed Mitch’s keys and headed to the door carrying four bags full of clothes and shoes. Billie followed her brother.

There it was again. I was not in charge.

Damn.

I glanced at Bill and followed Billie.

After the first round I made the kids sit in the truck while I got the rest of their stuff. When I opened the door and walked in, Bill was ranting, flailing and struggling with the police officers. He did this while Mitch glared at him, his phone to his ear, his other hand to his hip. I scurried through the house to go and grab some more bags.

On trip three, the last of the trips, I heard Mitch say in his phone, “Give me a second.” Then he called, “Mara,” and I looked at him. “That it?” he asked, dipping his head to the bags I was carrying.

I nodded.

“Don’t come back,” he ordered. “Stay in the truck with the kids.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

“You freakin’ bitch!” Bill shouted at me. I tried not to look at him but I had to look at him so I looked at him to see he was cuffed and sitting on his couch, bouncing clumsily around. His eyes were shooting daggers at me. “You freakin’ bitch!”

“Mara, out to the truck,” Mitch demanded.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me!” Bill yelled. “My fuckin’ family. Flesh and blood! You bitch!”

“Out to the truck, Mara, now,” Mitch clipped.

“Fuck you, Mara!” Bill screamed at me. “Fuck you! You just bought yourself trouble, you bitch!”

I looked at Bill and explained, “Bill, they haven’t eaten all day.”

“I’ll fuck with you!” he shouted.

“Mara, out to the truck,” Mitch ordered but I ignored him.

“Somewhere inside you, you have to know they deserve better. You know how you’re making them feel. You know you don’t want to make them feel that way,” I said softly to my cousin.

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!” Bill yelled loudly to me.

“They’ve been gone for hours. They came in, Bill, and you didn’t even look at them. Now you’re not even asking about them,” I pointed out and Bill scowled at me.

Mitch started toward me with a warning, “Mara.”

My head jerked to him then I looked to my cousin who was glaring at me, too far gone to let anything penetrate. Then I nodded and turned to the door.

And as I walked out the door, I heard Bill shriek, “You’ll regret this, you bitch! You’ll regret it! I swear to fuckin’ Christ you’ll fuckin’ regret this!”

I closed my eyes hard and walked swiftly to Mitch’s truck luckily making it there mostly blind.

Mitch came out before the officers led Bill out and we were away.

“Everyone okay?” Mitch asked into the silent cab when we’d made it to Speer Boulevard.

“Oh yeah,” Billy answered with a smile in his voice which made me feel slightly better.

“I’m okay,” Billie answered uncertainly which made that slightly better fade away.

I stared out the side window. I was terrified out of my head for a lot of reasons and wondering what on earth I was going to do next.

“Mara?” Mitch called.

I kept staring out the side window, focused on my terror.

Mitch’s fingers curled around my knee and squeezed. “Sweetheart?”

“I’m okay,” I lied to the window.

We got home and Mitch and Billy unloaded the truck while Billie and me (well, mostly me), separated darks, lights and whites before we started loading up the washer.

When they had it all in, I announced, “Billy, you’re in the second bedroom. I’ll pull out the futon later. Billie, you’re with me.”

“Yippee!” Billie cried, that Teflon fortress clearly having clamped tight around her and life was no longer scary and uncertain, it was wonderful again. She was on an adventure, on Billie vacation. She’d always liked visiting her Auntie Mara’s house.

I ignored Mitch who scared me normally but his behavior at Bill’s scared me more than normally and continued my pronouncements.

“Before we deal with sleeping arrangements, we have to go to the drugstore.” I turned to Mitch. In an effort to dismiss him politely from his self-appointed duties, I told his shoulder, “Thanks for everything. Uh…we’ll talk tomorrow?”

“What do you need at the drugstore?” Mitch asked and my eyes slid to his.

“We’re okay now,” I assured him. “I’ll pop by tomorrow –”

“I didn’t ask if you were okay. I asked what you needed at the drugstore,” Mitch replied.

“Um –” I mumbled.

Mitch, who was standing at the mouth of the hall, walked to where I was standing in the middle of the hall by my stackable washer and dryer. He did this while Billie, who was standing beside me and Billy, who kept his place where he had been standing beside Mitch at the mouth of the hall, watched Mitch move.

When Mitch made it to me, he got close, my head tipped way back, his chin dipped way down and softly he said, “Mara, sweetheart, I asked what you needed at the drugstore.”

“The kids need shampoo,” I whispered because with him that close it was all I could do.

“Right,” Mitch whispered back, immediately turned and asked the hall at large, “Who’s comin’ with me to the drugstore?”

I blinked in surprise at his back.

“Me!” Billie shouted and skipped after him.

“I am too,” Billy added and fell in step beside him.

The kids shot out the door and turned left toward the parking lot. Mitch turned at the door and gave me a warm grin. Then he was gone.

I stood in the hall amongst a bunch of piles of kid laundry on the floor and I stared at the door long after they left.

They came back over an hour later when I had the futon out and made up for Billy to use. Load one was in the dryer and load two was in the washer.

There was a drugstore not five minutes away so by the time they got back, I was worried. I was in the kitchen inventorying my grocery supplies as I didn’t think, leaving Bill in cuffs with two officers of the law, that the kids were heading back there anytime soon. And kids needed food.

When they came back, I didn’t have to wonder what took them so long considering both kids raced in carrying a big plastic Target bag each. Mitch was carrying four, not to mention, he had a brand new car booster seat.

I watched Mitch set the booster seat on the floor by the wall next to the front door. Then my eyes moved and I stared at the kids who ran directly to my couch and dumped their bags then I stared at Mitch.

“That looks like a lot of shampoo,” I remarked but a new kind of whoosh was surging through the region of my belly. This had to do with the Target bags, the booster seat and the warm look on Mitch’s face as he followed the kids into the house.

“Look Auntie Mara! Look! Look! Look!” Billie shrieked, digging frantically through her bag, finding what she was looking for, she turned. Her arms were straight up in the air. I saw she held a piece of plastic on which dangled supremely girlie ponytail holders with what looked like plastic butterflies attached to them. They were clenched in one little girl fist and equally girlie barrettes, with what looked like hearts and stars, were clenched in the other. “Mitch bought me butterflies!” she screeched.

The idea of super hot, super gorgeous, super masculine Detective Mitch Lawson buying girlie hair shit made my mouth drop open. My gaze slid back to super hot, super gorgeous, super masculine Detective Mitch Lawson who was dumping his bags on the bar.

I managed to hide my shock before his gaze came to me.

“Please tell me you bought shampoo,” I said to him.

His eyes smiled and he opened his mouth to speak but Billie tossed her prized hair shit aside and started digging through her bag again. She was pulling stuff out at random all the while informing me, “He got me girl shampoo and he got Billy boy shampoo and he bought Billy new jeans and he bought me a jeans skirt and it has a pink ruffle at the bottom!” she shouted breathlessly and then kept going. “It matches the pink t-shirt with the flower on it.” She pulled out the t-shirt, whipped around to me, stretched the tee out on a muddled diagonal across her front and gave me a wonky grin. “Isn’t it pretty?”

It was. It was adorable. Furthermore, I didn’t know there were such things as girl shampoo and boy shampoo. Shampoo was shampoo. Wasn’t it?

My eyes slid back to Mitch. He was leaning against the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room and he was watching Billie while smiling.

Oh God.

“It’s very pretty, baby,” I said to Billie as she clutched the shirt to her chest like she wanted to graft it to her skin, leaned forward and breathed, “I know!” Then she whirled back to the bags.

I decided to get some order so I told the kids, “All right, sort out what’s what. Billy take your stuff to your room, help Billie get her stuff to our room and anything that needs to go in the bathroom, put it in there. All right?”

“Yeah, Auntie Mara,” Billy agreed, looked to his sister and said, “Come on.”

Thus started bag rustling and running back and forth into various rooms. This I ignored because I needed to get something straight with Mitch.

So the minute the kids’ attention was on their chore, I called, “Mitch.”

He turned to me, leaned into his forearms on the bar and his gaze leveled on mine. I instantly forgot what I needed to get straight when I started drowning in the depths of his soulful brown eyes.

“These are groceries,” he dipped his head to the bags. “The kids told me what they liked to have around the house and I got some shit I figured you’d need.”

“Mitch –”

He kept talking. “Colorado law says kids need to be in car seats until they’re eight.” He tilted his head behind him. “That’s for Billie. Got an extra one for my truck.”

An extra one for his truck?

I didn’t get a chance to ask, Mitch kept speaking. “You need to give me your numbers and you need to get your phone to program mine.”

“Mitch –”

He pulled out his phone and talked over me. “Get your phone, Mara.”

“Mitch –”

“Get your phone.”

“Mitch!”

Suddenly, he reached his long arm out, caught my wrist and used it to pull me forward. This made me lean across the counter toward the bar attached to it and he was leaning across the bar toward the counter where I was. Then his hand slid down my wrist and his fingers closed around mine.

“Sweetheart, get your phone.”

I swallowed then whispered, “Um…you’re being very cool and I really appreciate it but, uh –”

“Get your phone.”

“Mitch, I appreciate it but this isn’t your problem. You can’t buy the kids –”

“Mara, phone.”

I tried to pull my fingers from his, his only tightened so I gave up and said softly, “I’m not comfortable with –”

He moved around the bar, my arm moving with him as he did this because he didn’t let my hand go. Suddenly he was in my space, our arms bent, our hands pressed to his chest and his other arm was around my waist. This meant he was pressed to me, I was pressed to him and our faces were super close.

“Mara, baby, get…your…phone,” he ordered gently.

“’Kay,” I whispered because, really, what else could I do?

He let me go. I got my phone. He programmed my numbers in his then he programmed his numbers in mine. When he was done he called out to the kids to tell them he was going and they raced from wherever they were in the apartment to say good-bye. He lifted Billie up and kissed her cheek which made her giggle. He shook Billy’s hand solemnly which made Billy’s chest puff out and his shoulders straighten.

Then he opened the door, looked at me but said to the kids, “See you guys tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?

Before I could ask, I was staring at a closed door.

“I like him!” Billie shouted. “He’s nice and he bought me butterflies and flowers!”

I liked him too. In fact, I was back to loving him even though he thought I had my head up my ass.

He wasn’t just a nice guy. He was a really, freaking great one.

When he wasn’t being a jerk or scary, of course.

I was in trouble.

The rest of the evening was taken up with laundry, folding laundry and me trying to get the kids sorted. Mitch bought Billy more than jeans. He bought him three pairs of jeans and also bought him some t-shirts and a baseball mitt. Billie’s flower t-shirt and jeans skirt with cute pink ruffle was only the favorite of the three outfits Mitch bought her. It was her favorite because it was the cutest and girliest but only by a small margin. There were also two more plastic cards filled with girlie hair shit and a tiny, fluffy pink teddy bear.

Yeah, I was back to loving him.

Crap.

It took awhile to get to sleep. Not only because I was used to sleeping alone and having the whole bed to myself. The entire day, and every encounter I’d had with Detective Mitch Lawson, was dancing in my head. These thoughts alternated with Bill threatening me and neither were conducive to peace of mind.

Finally, I slept. Which brought me to now.

I did my bathroom thing, went to the kitchen, made a pot of coffee, had a shower and did my after shower thing. Then I got Billy up so he could take a shower while I did my makeup thing. Then I got Billie up so she could take a shower in my shower while I kept my eye on her and did my hair drying thing. We had a drama when Billie changed her mind about which was her favorite new outfit that she wanted to wear that day. Then she changed it again after she’d made up her mind which necessitated her changing her outfit.

We finally had that sorted and I was in the kitchen, the kids on the stools opposite me with glasses of milk in front of them. I was drinking a cup of coffee that by this time I desperately needed while talking to the kids about what they wanted for breakfast. Breakfast groceries were part of what Mitch bought including pancake mix, eggs, bread and three types of jelly. I was also eyeing the living room which had stacks of kids folded clothing on every surface. Most of it, I’d discovered, didn’t deserve to be laundered because it was worn or stained and should be thrown out. And I was thinking that my being able to be freakishly tidy and having a modicum of peace of mind because I was able to control my surroundings was a thing of the past when there was a knock at the door.

I blinked at the door. I was stuck in my head because I was scared to death about my future, the kids’ future, Bill’s threats and how I was going to clothe, feed and house three humans. Not to mention all things Detective Mitch Lawson. So the knock at the door coming so early in the morning threw me.

It didn’t throw Billie. She jumped off her stool and raced to the door shouting, “I’ll get it!”

“Billie, don’t.” I moved out of the kitchen, taking my coffee cup with me. “Let me check the peephole.”

She was turning the door handle desperately this way and that, ready to welcome whoever was out there wholeheartedly. These efforts were to no avail as the door was locked and chained.

I looked out the peephole and saw Mitch.

Oh God.

His hair was partially wet, the drying ends curling around his ears, neck and collar. I knew he was ready for work because he was wearing a light blue, chambray shirt and a dark, olive green, kickass sports jacket. Detective Mitch Lawson work clothes.

Jeez, he was hot.

“Who is it?” Billie asked.

“It’s Mitch,” I mumbled, gently moving her out of the way and unlocking the door.

“Yippee!” she cried and then shouted to the door, “Hi, Mitch! I’m wearing my new outfit!”

I opened the door to a smiling so much he was nearly laughing Detective Mitch Lawson.

Full on belly whoosh.

“Hey,” I said, standing between the doorframe and the door.

“Hey,” he replied, not standing but moving toward me.

Seeing as I didn’t move, his hand went to my belly at the last minute. He gently shoved me inside as he came inside with me.

“Hey Mitch,” Billy, who’d kept his seat at the bar, called.

“Hey Billy,” Mitch answered, shutting the door behind him. “Did I miss breakfast?” he asked and my lungs seized.

“No!” Billie shouted. “We were just deciding what to have!”

“Eggs,” Mitch decided for everyone and I stood where I was, watching him move into the kitchen. Then I stayed where I was as I watched him move around the kitchen talking to the kids, pouring himself a cup of coffee, opening and closing cupboards, getting stuff out and lastly and most scarily, making himself at home.

Woodenly, I walked to the kitchen, stopped by the end of the counter and asked, “What are you doing?”

He had the eggs, bread and a bowl out and he didn’t even look at me when he replied, “Makin’ breakfast.” I opened my mouth to protest but he kept talking. “Do me a favor, sweetheart, put in some toast.”

My mouth was still open. I started to form words when his beautiful eyes came to me and my breath got caught in my throat.

“What hours do you work today?” he asked.

I blinked then answered, “I’m on late shifts this week. Noon to nine…now, Mitch –”

“I’m takin’ the kids to school,” he announced, cutting me off and looking down at the bowl into which he started cracking eggs. “I gotta talk to the people in the office. I’ll pick them up this afternoon and take them to Ma.”

“Ma?” I breathed and he tossed some eggshells into the sink and looked at me.

“Yeah, my Ma. She works part-time at my sister’s shop. I called her last night. Her schedule is flexible. I’ll pick them up, take them to her place, get them after I’m done at work and I’ll hang here with them until you get home. You’ll need to give me a set of keys.”

I swallowed. Then I whispered, “Keys?”

“Keys,” he nodded, his eyes swept me up and down and then quietly he said, “Baby, toast.”

My body jolted, my gaze slid to the kids who were watching this avidly before I went to the bread, put down my mug and pulled the toaster away from the wall.

Then I pulled myself together and started, “Mitch –”

“You need to talk to your boss,” he told me.

“I know,” I replied. “But Mitch –”

“And friends,” he interrupted. “Child Protective Services are gonna talk to everyone you know. They should have a head’s up. You’ll need to get school runs sorted and have somethin’ set up for afterschool and weekend days you work. I’ll do what I can. Ma said she’d do what she can. LaTanya works only twenty hours a week and she’ll probably pitch in. Bray’s hours are like yours so he can probably help out. But that’s short-term. Long-term, you’re gonna need to get childcare sorted out. With me?”

Wow, he’d thought about this more than me.

“Um…” I mumbled.

“They’ll also inspect this place,” Mitch went on. “You’ll need beds. They’ll talk to you and they’ll set you up with foster parent classes. I’ll stop by the Management Office and see if they got any townhomes open. The kids need more space but you do this, you need to be close to your posse and they got a block of townhomes across the creek.”

“Mitch –”

He dumped the scrambled eggs into the waiting melted butter in the skillet and looked at me. “Get the butter and jelly, baby.”

I moved to the fridge to get the butter and jelly. And I did this mostly because if he told me to throw myself in front of a train, but did it adding the word “baby”, I would have done it. I put the butter and all three jars of jelly on the bar in front of the kids, turned to Mitch and the toast popped up. So I grabbed the butter, slid down the counter to open a drawer and get a knife. I pulled out the toast, put in more bread and started spreading butter.

“Maybe we should talk about this when the kids –” I began.

“They gotta eat and they gotta get to school,” Mitch cut me off again, moving the cooking eggs around the skillet. “You also gotta look into changing their school when all this is formalized. They’ll need to be moved to a school closer to home.”

“Are we movin’ in with you, Auntie Mara?” Billie asked, her tone slightly confused and I turned to her.

Then I pressed my lips together because her face looked slightly confused too and I preferred Billie looking happy and carefree.

“Yeah, honey, I hope so. Your Daddy needs to sort a few things out,” I told her quietly.

She stared at me uncertain and I didn’t like that either.

“I think it’s cool,” Billy put in. “Auntie Mara’s house is clean. Bray and Brent and Derek and LaTanya and Mitch all live close by and she’s always got food.”

Billie’s teeth started worrying her lip as she studied her brother. Then she asked, “But who’s gonna stay with Daddy?”

“Who cares?” Billy asked back and I moved to the counter.

“Billie,” I called and her worried eyes moved to mine. I leaned into my forearms on the counter. “I know you’re worried about your Daddy but he’s an adult so he needs to worry about himself,” I told her. “You’re a kid and that means, while you’re a kid, someone’s supposed to worry about you, take care of you, make sure you have food in your belly and shampoo for your hair.” I got up on my toes and leaned closer to her as my voice dipped quiet. “I love you, baby, and I want that person to be me. I want to make sure you’re always okay and not have to worry that you aren’t eating and your clothes aren’t clean. And the only way for me not to have to worry about that is for me to take care of you myself. If your Daddy gets himself sorted out, we’ll see. But in the meantime will you let me do that for you? Make sure you have shampoo, food and someone to look out for you? Is that okay with you?”

“But Daddy will be all alone,” she replied in a small voice.

“I know, sweetie,” I whispered. “But I can’t help him, he has to help himself. What I can do is look after you.” I reached out a hand and set it flat on the bar in front of her. “And I want to. I want you here with me, Billie. Will you stay with me?”

“You want me here with you?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Do you want Billy?” she asked.

“Definitely,” I answered.

She stared at me then her eyes moved beyond me to Mitch before she looked back to me. “I like my new shampoo, it smells pretty.”

I smiled at her. “Is that a yes, baby?”

“Are you lonely without us?” she whispered.

“I worry about you when I’m not with you,” I told her. “If you’re with me, I don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I don’t want you to worry.” She was still whispering. “But I don’t want Daddy to worry either.”

“Dad won’t worry,” Billy muttered and Billie’s head swung to him.

“Look at me,” I called quickly as her lip started to tremble and Billie’s eyes came back to mine. “You don’t have to make a decision now. Just have Mitch’s eggs. Go to school and you can think about it. We’ll talk about it again when you’re ready. Is that a deal?”

She took in a breath then nodded. “Deal,” she whispered.

“Okay, baby,” I whispered back.

Then I felt heat at my back as Mitch leaned into me to set two plates filled with fluffy scrambled eggs and buttered toast, with cutlery resting on the side of the plate, in front of both of the kids. Once he’d done this he stayed where his was, both fists on the counter on either side of me, his body pressed to mine.

“Eat up, we gotta get on the road,” he ordered.

Billie looked down at her food. Billy looked down at Mitch’s fists in the counter. I tried to straighten and slide away which meant one of Mitch’s hands left the counter and his arm curled around my belly.

“You want toast, sweetheart?” he asked quietly in my ear.

I figured I’d throw up if I tried to eat anything. But I nodded because I was hoping he was offering to make me some and he couldn’t make me toast pressed into and holding me. Therefore, I nodded.

I was right. He let me go and I heard the bread bag rustling.

Billy’s eyes came to my face and he studied me looking about fifty years older than he actually was. Then he started eating.

Billie was already wolfing her food down at the same time inspecting the unusual plethora of jelly at her disposal.

I was thinking of school runs, Child Protection Services, buying new beds, when I’d have time to take foster parent classes and Mitch’s “Ma”. I was thinking about this so hard Mitch was in front of me holding a plate of buttered toast before I knew it.

I looked down at the toast then up at Mitch. The instant my eyes hit his, I knew it was definitely time to take control.

I took the plate, set it on the counter and asked him quietly, “Can we talk?”

He studied my face and I watched his eyes grow guarded. Then he nodded.

I walked around him, saying to the kids, “I’ll be right back.” Then I walked to the front door and out into the breezeway.

Mitch followed and closed the door behind him.

I sucked in breath and pulled up the courage to look him in the eye.

“Can you take a minute to explain to me what’s happening?” I asked.

“Thought I did that inside, Mara,” Mitch, eyes still guarded, answered.

“No, I mean from here on in. With Bill and the kids and Child Protection Services,” I explained.

He kept watching me and finally he nodded.

“Bill’s been arrested,” Mitch answered. “I’ll know more when I get into the Station. Child Protection Services have been called. Normally, Bill would decide who looks after his kids. Considering the state we found him in, I made that decision. They’ll be contacting you and they’ll do it soon because usually they’d decide who was an appropriate guardian if Bill was incapable of making that decision, which I deemed he was. While Bill stays incarcerated, they’ll stay with you. If Bill gets out then you’ll need to convince Child Protective Services he’s unfit and then prove to them you are. If the last happens, it won’t be difficult from what I’ve seen. But to be awarded guardianship, you’ll have to take foster parent classes.” He paused and finished, “So that’s where we are.”

I nodded then asked, “Why was Bill arrested?”

Mitch stared at me a minute, his expression shifting quickly to one that said he didn’t know what to make of me. Then he answered, “Mara, he was in possession of illegal substances and I’m a police officer. We tend to do something when we see someone in possession of something illegal. That’s kind of our job.”

This was true. Shit. I was such a dork!

Though possession of illegal substances wasn’t that bad unless you were in possession of a lot of them and, from what I saw, Bill wasn’t. That said, he’d been arrested twice that I knew. The first time he got community service. The second time wasn’t a big deal, his jail sentence was six months and he’d been paroled after three. It was only Billy then, Billie hadn’t been born yet and I’d looked after him those three months. It had been tough but I did it. Then again, Billy hadn’t been able to dress himself since he was a toddler and now both of them could dress themselves so maybe it wouldn’t be that tough this time around.

But three strikes wouldn’t be good. And I’d walked a police officer into his house.

Damn.

“Right,” I whispered and noted Mitch was studying me closely, it made me feel weird and it reminded me I needed to get this done. “Can I ask why you need to talk to the office at school?”

His head tipped slightly to the side like he was confused before he replied, “In order to introduce myself, tell them I’m a cop, explain what’s going on and get my name on the list of who they can expect to drop the kids off, pick them up and who they should call in case of emergency.”

“My name is already on that list,” I informed him.

“I guessed that but now my name needs to be on it,” Mitch informed me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why?” he repeated.

“Yes, why?” I reiterated.

It was then his head straightened and his eyes slightly narrowed. “Were you in there with the kids and me just now?”

“Um…yes.”

“So you know why.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

He took in a breath that appeared to be an effort to remain calm then explained, “While you get shit sorted, Ma and I are gonna help out.”

No. No, he and his mother were not. His mother was probably a Ten Point Five too and Ten Point Fives didn’t help out Two Point Fives. That was law in Mara World.

I straightened my shoulders and said firmly, “Thank you, that’s very kind. In fact, um…all you’ve done is, uh…very kind but I’ve got it now.”

This time his eyes fully narrowed. “You’ve got it now?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“You’ve got it now,” he said disbelievingly.

“Um…yeah,” I repeated.

“You work twelve to nine,” he reminded me.

This was true, this week. The other shift was nine thirty to six thirty which wasn’t much better. How I was going to pick them up, look after them and sell beds so I could keep them fed was unknown to me but I’d figure something out.

“Yes, I know,” I told Mitch.

“So explain to me when you gotta work how you’ve got it now,” Mitch demanded to know. He looked like he was getting angry.

“I just do,” I provided no information and then decided to be polite but move this on so I could move onto whatever was next for me, Billy and Billie. “Really, I want to thank you because you’ve been really cool about all this and um…with the kids and everything but I’ll take it from here.”

“You’ll take it from here,” he repeated and I wished he’d stop repeating after me because it was freaking me out.

“Yes,” I replied.

He studied me again. Then he said with what seemed like strained patience, “I don’t think you get it, sweetheart. I told you I’d help out and I’m helping out.”

Jeez, I wished he wasn’t so damned nice.

“Yes, I understand that but what I’m telling you is that you don’t have to, um…get involved. I’m good. The kids will be good. I’ve got it now.”

“You’re a single woman who works full-time selling mattresses, Mara, and suddenly you got two kids on your hands. There is no way you’ve got it now.”

My freak out was beginning to melt to anger. I crossed my arms on my chest and informed him, “We’ll be perfectly fine.”

“Not without help you won’t,” he shot back.

“Mitch, I’ve got this.”

“Mara, there is no way in hell you’ve got this.”

That was when I lost it and I threw up my hands, hissing, “Jeez!” I leaned in. “I’m letting you off the hook! You don’t need to wade in Mitch. We’ll be fine. You can go…” I hesitated, looked at his door then back at him and finished, “Do what you do, enjoy your life, whatever.”

“I didn’t ask to be let off the hook,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, nice guys don’t but they still want to be,” I replied.

“Don’t tell me what I want, Mara. I’m seein’ with this shit that, again, you have no clue what I want.”

“Okay, then I’ll tell you what I want. What I want is not to be standing out in the breezeway arguing with you when I’ve got a million things on my mind. What I want is for you to stop butting into my life by getting out of it!”

My anger had built up so quickly I didn’t realize his had too and his surpassed mine. But I noticed this when he leaned into me, his face hard, his eyes flashing with a muscle jumping in his cheek.

“I was right. Your head is right up your ass but the problem now is you got two kids you gotta worry about and you can’t stumble through life with your head up your ass at the same time taking care of two kids.”

In our anger race, at his words, I pulled ahead and leaned into him too.

“Stop telling me I have my head up my ass, Detective Mitch Lawson. I’ve got my eyes wide open. I’ve always had my eyes wide open.”

“You’re totally fuckin’ blind.”

“You don’t know me enough to say something like that,” I snapped.

“Mara, I know you a lot more than you think and you’re not only blind, you’re clueless.”

“I’m not clueless!” I hissed.

He clenched his jaw and stared at me. Then he leaned back and swept me from top-to-toe with his eyes before they locked on mine.

“Thought it was worth it,” he muttered like he was talking to himself. “Totally fuckin’ wrong. Not fuckin’ worth it.”

I knew what he was saying. I knew exactly what he was saying. I should have been ecstatic that he figured it out. Instead it felt like he’d shoved a knife in my heart and twisted.

Before I could get used to the pain, Mitch concluded, “You got it, baby? Go for it.” Then he turned and sauntered through the breezeway.

I saw him lift a hand and his chin slightly and my horrified eyes went to Bradon and Brent’s door to see Brent standing there. His head moved back and forth between Mitch jogging down the steps and me standing, breathing heavily outside my door.

“Hey Brent,” I called, my voice trembling just as the tears that I felt were in my eyes were doing.

“Hey girl, you okay?” Brent asked.

“Perfect!” I lied, trying to sound chirpy and totally failing so I decided to escape. “See you!” I said and I turned to my door, opened it and dashed inside.

Billy and Billie looked at me.

“Mitch can’t take you to school today but I can. After school you’re going to hang with me at the store,” I informed them. “Won’t that be fun?”

Billie’s arms went up in the air. I noticed she had grape jelly smeared on her face and I also noticed more than a little of it was smeared on the bar and her hands and she shouted, “Yippee!”

Mental note: do not leave Billie alone with the jelly.

I looked to Billy to see his eyes go to the door and he stared at it contemplatively for several seconds before his eyes came back to me. Then his face went hard.

Then he said, “Okay, Auntie Mara.”

I closed my eyes. Then I sighed. Then I hustled the kids through the rest of their morning and took them to school.