Law Man

Chapter Twenty-Five Men Don’t Have Moments

We got the kids home, leaving Elvira behind to give the scoop to Derek, LaTanya, Bray and Brent. I struggled with Billie’s loose limbs and dead weight body getting her out of her clothes, into her PJs and tucked into bed with her pink teddy while Mitch got Billy into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth.

Mitch was pouring me a glass of wine while I lit candles when we heard Billy come out of bathroom.

My eyes went to Mitch to see his on me then, his eyes not leaving me, he called, “Bud, come into the livin’ room for a minute, yeah?”

I finished with the candle as Mitch moved out of the kitchen with my glass and a bottle of beer for him. Billy appeared in his loose shorts and tee at the mouth to the hall.

Mitch stopped on his way to my new, super-awesome couch (and yes, I got the one from Penny’s window, I asked for it and she felt it agreed with her “vision” so there it was, in my living room).

“I know you’re tired, Bud, but we gotta talk about something before you hit the sack. You cool with that?”

Billy, his head tipped back, his eyes on Mitch, again looking fifty, hesitated a moment before he nodded.

“Couch,” Mitch ordered softly.

Billy nodded again and both he and Mitch moved.

I went to the couch. Mitch arrived first and handed me my glass. Then he tilted his head to the couch. I sat. Mitch took a tug off his beer, put it on the coffee table then sat next to me but he left a couple of feet of space between us. Billy came around the couch while I took a sip of my wine and he stopped, appearing uncertain.

Mitch wasn’t.

“Sit here, Bud, between Mara and me.”

Billy’s shoulders shifted strangely then he walked to us and sat in the small space between Mitch and me. Instantly, I turned my body into his, crossed my legs and took his hand in my free one.

Billy’s head dropped and he looked at our hands. I gave his a squeeze and his eyes lifted to mine. That was when I gave him a small smile.

He didn’t return it. He was worried, my sweet Billy.

Mitch lifted both his legs, deposited his boots on my coffee table but he did this at a slight angle effectively boxing Billy in.

No.

Cocooning him in a physical nest of care and family.

God. Seriously. I loved Mitch Lawson. I loved him anyway but I loved him enough that when he was cocooning Billy with me in a nest of safety, I wasn’t going to give him stick for putting his boots on my new coffee table.

Billy’s eyes went to Mitch’s legs.

He didn’t miss it either, then again, Billy rarely missed anything.

“Right, look at me, Bud,” Mitch ordered gently. Billy’s head came up and his neck twisted so he could give Mitch his eyes. Mitch didn’t delay. “There’s some things you need to know. The most important of those things is that I’ve fallen in love with Mara.”

My lips parted and I was pretty sure my eyes bugged out.

Well, this wasn’t where I expected him to go. I didn’t mind it. I just didn’t expect it.

At all.

Mitch kept talking.

“She feels the same for me.”

I blinked then looked down to see Billy’s head had swung toward me. I closed my mouth so I could use it to smile and squeezed his hand again.

Mitch kept going and Billy looked back at him.

“The man who gets Mara gets you and Billie. I’m that man. What you gotta get is, while fallin’ in love with Mara, I fell in love with you and your sister. Straight up, Bud, no lie. The feelings I feel for Mara are hers, the feelings I feel for Billie are hers and the feelings I feel for you are yours. You all have my love, not collectively, individually. Do you understand me?”

“I…” Billy whispered, then finished softly, “no.”

Mitch nodded. “Right. What I mean is, I didn’t fall in love with you all as a whole. I fell in love with each of you because of who you are. I don’t care about you because you come with Mara. I care about you because you’re a good kid. You’re smart. You’re loyal. And you love and look out for your sister and Mara. I know grown men who do not have a character as fine as yours. Those are the reasons I love you. There are different reasons I love Billie. And there are different reasons I love Mara. Today, what we had together was good. But the feelings I feel for you aren’t feelings I have to have in order to have Mara. They’re feelings you earned. Now, you with me?”

“I think so,” Billy replied quietly and I gave his hand another squeeze.

Mitch continued.

“Okay, you’re with me on that, I’ll explain this. You’ve got my love, so do Billie and Mara. Billie loves all of us. Mara loves all of us and, my guess is, you do too. We have that so that makes us a family.”

I felt tears sting my eyes as I watched Billy swallow and wet shimmer in his.

Mitch wasn’t done.

“Life goes like I hope, you’ll be dancin’ with Mara at your wedding and your sister will be dancing with me at hers.”

Oh my God!

My hand spasmed in Billy’s and his curled tight around mine.

Mitch kept talking.

“Between then and now, not every day is going to be like today where we’re happy, doin’ fun stuff and laughin’. We’re gonna have bad times. But those will be ours and we’ll work through them. My job, Mara’s job from now until you become a man is to make sure no one outside this family gives you or your sister a bad time. Mara took on that role and let me be a part of that team. We both take that seriously. Those women you saw, Bud, we’ve dealt with them. That’s done. Nothing will harm you. Not again. Not like that. Nothing. Mara will see to it. I’ll see to it.” He leaned in close and his voice dropped. “You been the man of the family awhile, Bud, but it’s your time to stop worrying. I told you earlier I got this. I had it. So did Mara. It’s done. Whatever you got in your head, you let it go. It is not you and Billie against the world anymore. You’ve got people at your back. You need to let that weight go, buddy. In a family, we all look out for each other. It is not up to you alone to take care of everybody. You need to let that weight go, give some to me, give some to Mara and just be Bud.”

Billy studied Mitch for a long moment then he asked in a small voice, “Is that woman gonna take Billie away?”

“No,” Mitch and I both answered instantly and Billy looked between both of us.

Then he looked at me. “Are you gonna get custody of us, like, permanent?”

“Yes,” I again answered instantly.

“Tomorrow, Mara and I’ll be talkin’ to a lawyer,” Mitch put in, this was news to me, good news and Billy and I looked at him. “We’ll be working at making Mara your legal, permanent guardian and when the time comes, we’ll add me.”

I pressed my lips together.

Billy wasn’t ready to believe.

“Stuff happens, Mitch, bad stuff. And Billie –”

Mitch cut him off, “You don’t worry about it. You let Mara and me worry about it.”

“But, what if you two break up?”

I held my breath.

Mitch leaned deeper into Billy and whispered, “Look at me.”

“I am lookin’ at you, Mitch,” Billy whispered back.

“No, Bud, really look at me,” Mitch ordered on another whisper.

I let out my breath and took in another one.

Billy concentrated hard on Mitch’s face.

Mitch spoke.

“All my life, since I could remember, I wanted to be a cop. That’s all I ever wanted to be. Watched the shows on TV, all the movies. I wanted that to be me. So I made that me. I love my job. I’m proud of what I do. And since I knew about girls and knew I’d someday have one of my own, I knew the kind I wanted. Just like knowin’ I wanted to be a cop, I knew the kind of woman I wanted for me. So I found that woman and she’s sittin’ on this couch.”

My heart skipped, I let out my breath and closed my eyes.

God, that felt good.

No, that felt great.

I opened my eyes as Mitch kept going.

“And I grew up in a close family and I always knew I wanted one of those too. So, I cannot promise you life is gonna run perfect. I cannot tell the future. What I can say is, what we have when you and me are tossin’ a ball or mannin’ the grill or sittin’ at the table doin’ your homework, that means something to me. It’s important to me. And when something’s important, you take care of it. I have times like that with your sister and Mara. Those times mean something to me. They’re important and I’ll promise you this right now, I’ll do everything in my power to take care of it, all of it, all of you. I can’t tell the future but I can promise you that. Now, do you trust me?”

Billy’s hand clenched mine as he whispered, “I trust you, Mitch,” and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

Mitch didn’t miss a beat. “Good,” he muttered. “So, Mara appreciates it when you run the vacuum and we’ll expect you to do your chores and get good grades but you gotta stop knockin’ yourself out to make life smooth for everybody. From now on, you just be Bud. Let life be what it’s gonna be and trust in the fact that we’ll face whatever’s comin’ as a family. Can you do that for Mara and me?”

“Yes,” Billy whispered as his hand held mine harder and another tear fell down my cheek.

“Good,” Mitch muttered again then he lifted a hand, curled it around Billy’s neck and he pulled him even closer to his face. And when he got him close, his face changed in a way I understood immediately and I prayed Billy, who didn’t miss anything, understood it too.

But he didn’t have to.

Because Mitch laid it out.

“I love you, Bud,” he whispered to Billy and two more tears escaped.

“I love you too, Mitch,” Billy whispered back, my breath hitched and both males’ eyes came to me.

I waved my wineglass at them and murmured, “Don’t mind me. Have your moment.”

Mitch leaned back, letting Billy go and grinning at me. “Men don’t have moments.”

“You do,” I returned. “I’m witnessing one.”

“This isn’t a moment, honey, it’s a meeting of the minds,” Mitch contradicted me.

“It’s a moment, Mitch,” I contradicted him.

Mitch transferred his grin to Billy and asked, “Are we having a moment?”

Billy stared up at Mitch then he looked at me.

Then he answered, “Nope.”

Billy didn’t even know what a moment was. He was just agreeing with Mitch because Mitch was a guy and I was a girl who was crying.

I rolled my eyes, gave his hand another squeeze, let it go and then swiped at the wet on my face, muttering, “Whatever.”

When I quit swiping, I looked back at my boys to see them sharing a smile.

Witnessing that, it took some effort but only one more tear escaped rather than me bursting into thousands of them and I succeeded in this endeavor by doing what any girl would do to succeed in this endeavor. I sucked back more wine.

“Right. That’s done, bedtime,” Mitch decreed, lifting his legs off the coffee table so Billy could get through.

Billy jumped up and rounded the couch while Mitch and I watched him go.

He stopped halfway to the mouth of the hall and turned back to Mitch.

“Thanks for today, Mitch, it was fun.”

“We’ll do it again, Bud,” Mitch replied. “Now hit the sack. Yeah?”

Billy nodded. “Yeah. ’Night, Mitch,” he muttered, looked at me and called, “’Night, Auntie Mara.”

“Goodnight, honey,” I called back.

Billy resumed moving to his room. I looked at Mitch mostly because he’d leaned into me and shoved an arm between me and the couch. He was pulling me into him and I was concentrating on not spilling any wine as he executed this maneuver.

I succeeded and was settling into my man to relax with him, wine and candles when we heard, “Auntie Mara?”

Mitch and I both twisted our necks to look over the back of the couch. When we did, we saw Billy standing just outside the shadows at the mouth of the hall.

“Yeah, honey?” I called back.

Billy held my eyes.

Then he announced, “Billie looks like you.”

I didn’t know where he was going with this but I answered with the truth. “Yes, she does, Bud.”

“Do you think I look like Mitch?” Billy asked.

Oh God.

Oh God.

“Yes,” I answered softly.

“That woman at that restaurant, she said we had a beautiful family,” Billy reminded me and Mitch’s arm around me grew tight.

“She did,” I told him. “And we didn’t get it then but she was right.”

Billy kept hold of my eyes then his shifted to Mitch before they moved to the floor and he asked, “Mitch, you marry Auntie Mara, can Billie and me have your name?”

Oh God!

God, God, God!

“You want it then absolutely,” Mitch replied.

I started deep breathing.

Billy’s eyes came back to me.

Then, even though he whispered it, I heard him when he said, “You should know, I love you too, Auntie Mara.”

Then he disappeared in the shadows.

My breath hitched again and this time I didn’t succeed in holding back the thousands of tears. Luckily, I did succeed in not bursting into loud ones, just lots of silent ones.

Mitch divested me of my wineglass, I burrowed into him and when he’d put my glass by his beer on the coffee table, he pulled me into both of his arms.

It took some time but I pulled myself together.

Then I whispered into his neck, “I love you Detective Mitchell James Lawson.”

Mitch’s arms gave me a squeeze. “I know, baby. I love you too.”

“That was done well, honey.” I shifted to kiss his throat then tilted my head back to look at him to find he’d tipped his down to look at me. “Thank you.”

“Anytime and every time, sweetheart,” Mitch replied.

I liked that.

Anytime and every time, now and throughout our lives with our family.

Again, my soul sighed but my mouth smiled.

“Proud as hell of you, what you did earlier with your mother and aunt,” Mitch told me.

My smile got bigger and I informed him, “Just so you know, your kiss communicated that.”

Mitch smiled back at me. “Right.”

“Something else you should know,” I whispered. “I was able to do that because of you.”

“Mara –” he started but I shook my head and pressed deeper into him.

“No, it was in me to say it but it was you who opened my eyes to who I am. I’ve always been a decent person and even if you weren’t standing there, I’d do everything I could to make certain I kept those kids safe. But it felt good standing there with you. It felt good realizing that was who I am and who I always was. And it felt good to move beyond what I believed myself to be. And you guided me there. So…” I grinned and pressed even closer, “thank you.”

Mitch dipped his head and against my lips whispered, “You’re welcome, baby.”

Against his, my grin became a smile.

Mitch brushed his mouth against my smile, pulled back half an inch and noted, “I’m done with heavy. Time to zone out in front of a game.”

Zoning out on the couch with Mitch, wine, candles and baseball.

The perfect end to an (almost) perfect day.

“Right,” I whispered. Mitch grinned then in thirty seconds the TV was on, Mitch’s boots were off, he had me tucked between his reclined body and the couch, my wineglass in one hand, my cheek on his chest, his arm around my back, hand curved around my hip, his beer in his other hand.

I sipped wine and zoned out.

Mitch sipped beer and watched the game.

Yes.

The perfect end to an (almost) perfect day.

Me, Mitch, wine, beer, baseball and, sleeping in the next room, Billy and Billie.