Two days later, Nell wondered if Henry was ever going to touch her again.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Callie asked. She held up the handcuffs. “This stuff looks pretty serious. Where did you get this from? Never mind. I know the answer. Stef.”
“He brought over a whole bag of toys. That’s what he called them, but some of those things don’t look like a ton of fun.” She pulled out what looked like a riding crop. Stef seemed to have thought of just about everything.
Now if she could just tempt Henry into using them.
For two nights he’d held her, stroking her hair until she fell asleep, but beyond kissing her silly, he hadn’t made a move.
It was starting to worry her. She was starting to think that he would leave without ever making love to her again.
Callie helped turn the sheets down. “Has he said anything?”
Nell shook her head. This little seduction was her last play. “No. He took me to the hospital, and even though they said I just needed some rest, he hasn’t seemed interested. Do you think he figured out just how much trouble I am? Is that why he doesn’t want me anymore?”
Callie pushed her glasses up. “You aren’t trouble, Nell. I think he still wants you. I’ve seen how he looks at you, and it’s not like he’s left you alone. I had to pry him away from you this afternoon. I think he’s…thinking.”
She was pretty sure she wouldn’t like what Henry was thinking about. She was pretty sure he was thinking about leaving. “I want one more night.”
A long sigh came out of Callie’s chest. “Nell, I hate to tell you this, but one more night won’t fix anything if he’s intent on leaving. Believe me. I know. One more night is just going to be something else to remember. Another memory that nothing else and no one else can ever compete with. It might be better to just let him go.”
“Would you do it? If you could go back, would you take away the time you spent with those guys?”
Callie stopped, pain etched on her face. She sat down on the bed, her hands in her lap. “Their names were Nate and Zane.”
Nate and Zane were idiots because Callie was one of the sweetest women Nell had ever met. What had called them away? “Do you wish you hadn’t met them?”
Callie reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. “No. I would do it again. I fell in love with them. It wasn’t their fault that they couldn’t love me back. Nell, I dream about them every night. I just wish…I wish it would end differently for you and Henry, but I think he’s going to leave.”
Nell was pretty sure that would happen and never once had he mentioned her coming to visit. “I know.”
“We’re so dumb.” Callie wiped away her tears. “But I’ll be here for you. I want you to know that. We can cry together.”
She reached out and hugged her friend, grateful that she wouldn’t be alone. “Thank you. I’m afraid I’ll take you up on that offer. I wish I could be more practical, but I want one more night.”
She knew it wouldn’t solve anything, wouldn’t fix the problem, but she wanted it because she loved him.
“Okay. So get naked and I’ll cuff you. God, I never thought I would say those words.” Callie took a long breath and stood up. “Go on. Drop the robe, but don’t expect me to attach these.”
She held up two long dangly earrings. Nell frowned as she shrugged out of her robe. “Do you think those are diamonds? Why did Stef send me earrings?”
Nell settled herself on the bed and spread her arms out. She and Callie had carefully placed the handcuffs. Callie leaned over, a smile on her face as she snicked the cuffs over Nell’s wrists. “Not for your ears, hon. Those are nipple clamps, and I bet Henry loves them. He’s a pervert, right? He looks all upstanding and professory, but he’s a complete freak under that, I bet.”
Nell felt a smile cross her face as she lay back. “He seems very interested in Dominance and submission. And he deeply enjoys spanking me. I would totally protest that, but it feels really nice.”
Callie laughed as she placed the spreader bar between Nell’s legs. “This is totally insane. And your wax job is really nice.”
“Polly. She was reluctant at first, and then she really got into it. Now she has the Bare-Assed Brazilian on her menu. I mentioned that she shouldn’t have used the word ‘ass,’ but she just left it there.”
Callie placed the last cuff and stood back. “Okay. I’m going to go and get him. I’ll be fast because Stef would be so upset if I left you all bound like that for very long. I’m not into the lifestyle, but I know that much. Don’t like die or anything. Someone will be right back.”
The door opened and closed, and Nell was left alone and spread wide for a man who she hoped wanted to take her for pleasure.
Nell closed her eyes and hoped this worked. She wasn’t dumb. She knew he wouldn’t stay because she’d slept with him, but she had to let him know how she felt. It was dangerous, but she’d never shied away from that. She told it like it was, and she loved Henry Flanders.
It wasn’t more than five minutes before the door opened and she heard a low, masculine curse.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
She opened her eyes, looking up at him. He was wearing sweats and a T-shirt, his normal workout clothes. Despite the clothing-optional nature of the gym on-site, Henry insisted that the leather seats on the weight trainers chafed his skin and the towels weren’t big enough. He stared down at her, a deep frown on his face.
“You don’t think I’m pretty?” She kind of thought he would like her like this. He’d talked a lot about bondage and tying her up. Had she been wrong? Had he decided he wasn’t interested in her anymore? Was he staying close to her because he’d taken her virginity and he didn’t know how to gracefully back out of the relationship?
His jaw tightened. “You’re gorgeous, Nell, but I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
She was totally open to him, and there was no way she could shrink back. She kind of got the lifestyle now. It didn’t allow for her to hide. Her body was open so it was easier to open her heart. “I love you, Henry.”
He dropped to his knees, his hands on her body—one on her thigh and one above her breast. “You can’t know what that means to me.”
Not exactly an exclamation of love, but he hadn’t vomited either. “Maybe we could talk on the phone.”
He pulled his hands back. “No. That’s not possible.”
“Why? Henry, are you married?” She’d run every scenario through her head and come up with that horrible thought as the most likely possibility.
He looked horrified. “No. God, no. Nell, you’re the only woman I’ve ever…felt this way about. Please don’t think there’s anyone else. There won’t be, but I made choices that I can’t back away from. Damn it. I’ve been thinking about this for days. I want to be with you. I want to be this man you need, the kind of man you can love, but I don’t think I can be.”
“Henry, is it the vegan stuff? Because we can work on that.” She wasn’t going to lose the love of her life because he liked to eat a burger every now and then. “I don’t think I can cook it, but I’m also very tolerant. I wouldn’t force you to live like that.”
The saddest look crossed his face and his hand caressed her cheek. “I know you are. This goes way beyond my love of a good steak. Baby, if I stayed with you, I would honor that. I wouldn’t touch it again. But there are other considerations and talking about it won’t change things. Sleeping with you tonight won’t make me stay. I’ll still leave in the morning, so why don’t you let me get you out of these cuffs and we can have a nice night together? We can go into town and have dinner.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “You don’t want me?”
Henry stood up. “Fuck, Nell. How can you even think that? Look at how hard I am.”
She looked up and his sweats were tenting, his cock a long, hard line. He wanted her, but he wasn’t willing to stay with her. She knew she should save herself the heartache, but she loved him and there wasn’t anything wrong with it. Her love was valuable. Her love wasn’t dependent on whether he could love her back. If he’d been cruel, she would have turned him away, but then if he’d been unkind, she wouldn’t have loved him in the first place. “Play with me. I won’t do this with anyone else so I want my last night.”
She could have sworn she saw a sheen of tears in his eyes. “You will, Nell. You’ll find someone.”
She shook her head. “No. You’re the love of my life and there won’t be anyone else. It’s all right. You have to believe what you will, but right now, in this moment, I know that I won’t love anyone the way I love you, Henry. I’m asking you for one last night. I know what I’m getting into. I won’t beg you to stay. I probably will cry. I won’t be able to help it, but I’ll let you go if that’s what you need.”
His head fell forward, and just for a moment she was almost sure he would deny her. The seconds ticked away, the silence a drain on her soul.
And then his head came back up and his eyes were hot.
She would lose the war, but this battle had been won.
“Who cuffed you? If you say Stefan Talbot, I might have to pay a visit to him before we get started.” Henry took a long breath and placed a hand on her head. He touched her hair, smoothing it back before his fingers started to trail a long line down her body. He started at her forehead, caressing her nose and lingering on her mouth before moving to her chin. “Answer me, sweetheart.”
“It was Callie. Stef gave me the handcuffs and told us how to set it up.”
“Excellent. He gets to live.” Henry could be so very possessive. She shouldn’t find pleasure in that, but she was honest with herself. It was the only way to live. The thought of another woman touching him made her very sad. Maybe she was a little possessive, too. She had friends who were into the open-love lifestyle, but it would never be for her.
She wouldn’t love anyone after Henry.
She shivered as he drew his fingers over her chest. Her nipples peaked as though begging for his attention. “He gave me a bag of sexy stuff. I don’t know what some of it is.”
Henry sighed contentedly as he traced his fingers over her belly. He was leaving a trail of goose bumps everywhere he touched. He drew his fingers lower, and she could feel her pussy start to come to life at the mere thought of him coming close. Just a few more inches and the pads of his fingers would brush her clit and light her up. Just another second…
“I should see what he brought for us.” He pulled his hand away, turning and picking up the leather bag Stef had given her.
“That was mean.” She was out of breath and she hadn’t moved.
The sweetest smile curled his lips up as he set the bag on the bed. “It’s not mean. It’s just a little tease. I promise I’ll touch eventually, but it will be on my schedule. Not yours. I want you panting for it, Nell.”
This was something she didn’t quite understand. “Why?”
He looked down at her, tenderness plain on his face. “Because it makes me feel good knowing that someone as beautiful as you will let me have my way. When I think about getting to play with you, it gets me so hard. God, Nell, all the things we could do, the things I want to show you.”
He stopped as though he realized he’d been talking like they had a future.
“What kind of nasty toys did Stef send?” Nell asked, wanting so desperately to keep the smile on his face.
He turned back to the bag, unzipping it. There was that smile. “I like the way Stef thinks.”
He pulled out a tiny tube and uncapped it.
“Should I ask what that is?” Nell asked.
“It’s oil used to stimulate the clitoris. Don’t worry, baby. I’m sure it’s all organic and earth friendly. It’s cinnamon and almond oil and some rosemary essence. It’s going to plump this pretty jewel right up, and it’ll taste nice when I suck on it.”
“I don’t know that I need any stimulation, Henry.” She could barely breathe as it was.
“That’s ten and you’ll take what I give you. Nell, are you telling me no?” He paused, the cap in his hand.
He was infuriating, and she would very likely never tell him no. Somehow, being bound and trussed up, she’d never felt more free than she did when he was in charge. When Henry closed the door, it was like all the problems of the world drifted away, and she didn’t have to worry about anything but finding pleasure with him.
God, she would miss him every second of the day for the rest of her life.
“I’m not telling you no and I’m looking forward to my spanking, Henry.”
“Good. So am I.” He dribbled the oil on her clit. It was cool and made her hips shimmy. Henry’s thumb closed over the spot he’d just lubed up. “Such a pretty pearl. Soon it will be all softened up and ripe for the tasting.”
Sparks of pleasure shot across her skin as he pressed down and made long, luxurious circles.
And then stopped, proving he had a little sadist in there.
“Let’s see what else Stef left us. Nice.” He pulled out what looked like a plug made for an elephant.
“I don’t think that’s going to work, Henry.” What the hell had Stef been thinking?
“It’s smaller than me, baby. It’s going to work fine. It just needs some lube.” He winked at her and walked toward the bathroom.
He was going to shove that enormous plug up her backside. There was only one reason to do it. He was going to make love to her ass. He was going to claim her.
And she was going to let him.
He was back quickly, his shirt gone and that big old plug in his hand, glistening with lubricant. She couldn’t help looking at his chest. He was all hers. Everyone else could look at him and see the professor, but she saw the lover he was, the man he could be.
“I like you in a spreader, Nell, but if it gets uncomfortable, I want you to tell me,” he said as he kneeled on the bed in between her legs.
“I am so uncomfortable, Henry, but it has nothing to do with the spreader.” It had everything to do with the fact that he wasn’t inside her.
He groaned, a sexy sound, as he set the plug on her belly and shoved both hands under her ass. He forced her hips up. “Fuck, I like having this much access. It’s so hot.” He pulled her cheeks apart. “I can see your pussy and your asshole. They’re both right here, waiting for me. Waiting for my cock.”
She would give him everything, so he was right. She was waiting for him. She just might wait for him forever.
He picked up the plug and pressed it to her asshole. The pressure made her wince, but there was no pain, just a jangled feeling that caused her to whimper.
“Yeah, baby, I love that.” He really was a pervert. She loved that about him. All the perfectly polite males she’d known paled in the face of his open honesty. He told her what he needed, and that made her feel so powerful. She didn’t have to ask. He gave it to her. It was a gift. It made it all right to ask for what she needed.
“Henry, please. I need a kiss.” She couldn’t go another minute without his lips on hers.
He pulled the plug away and suddenly he loomed over her. “Baby, I love to kiss you.”
He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, the pressure so sweet she almost lost it. She wanted to wrap her arms around him but there was the problem of the cuffs. His tongue surged in, mating with her own, forcing her mouth open wide. His chest pressed to hers, and she gave over. He rubbed against her as he licked at her lips, filling her with desperate desire.
He pulled back, rubbing his nose against hers. “Now behave.”
Her skin felt cold when he left her, getting back to his knees and winking down at her. She immediately felt the press of the plug against her asshole. He rimmed her, rolling the plug against the rosette of her ass over and over and over again.
He moved the plug in, foraging in shallow little presses. Every push gained ground, opening her up until he shoved the plug home, gaining every inch she had.
“Beautiful.” He was looking at her asshole.
“I’m glad you think so.” She was panting, her breath sawing in and out of her chest.
“I definitely think so. Do you want me to show you how beautiful you are?” His palms were on her knees.
This was the only time she felt beautiful. “Yes, Henry.”
“Damn, I love it when you say, ‘Yes, Henry.’” He leaned over and ran his nose along her pussy. He teased her, lighting her up and making her heart pound. He breathed her in. She knew she should feel self-conscious, but she loved how much he liked her smell, her taste. He made her feel special, like she was a sumptuous dessert he liked to try over and over again.
“Yes, Henry.” She would tell him that every minute of the day. “Yes, Henry.”
He lifted up and reached over into the bag, his hands coming up with the nipple clamps. “Let’s see how you feel after I’ve put these beauties on you. What do you say?”
He was torturing her. He’d been so close, his nose right in her pussy, and now he left her high but definitely not dry. She was sopping wet and dying, but there was only one answer to that question. “Yes, Henry.”
“Yes, Nell. I wish I could always be this man.” He palmed her breasts, his hands covering her. “I want to be so right for you.”
He was, but she couldn’t prove it with anything but her heart. “You are right. Even if it’s only for tonight. You’re the right man.”
He was the only man.
He reached out and pinched her right nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting lightly. Her nipples were tight and ready. In an instant, he clamped her nipple, the screw holding her firmly and making her breathe out as it lit her up.
“So pretty. You’re my little plaything.” He twisted her left nipple and set the clamp on her. The jewels dangled from her nipples, pretty diamonds that marked her as Henry’s lover. The clamps bit into her flesh, but it wasn’t a real pain. It was an ache, a longing.
He leaned over, his tongue coming out, and licked at the exposed part of her nipples. Sweet heat flared through her. She’d been clamped and plugged and claimed. “My Nell.”
He looked at her for the longest time, his eyes taking in every inch of her, raking across her body. He hopped off the bed and reached for the bag again. “I’ll be right back, baby. I need to clean up and get a couple of things ready. Stay there like a very good girl.”
She nearly rolled her eyes, but then caught sight of the crop in his hand and decided to play along. “Yes, Henry.”
“Excellent. Good girls get treats.” He pulled out a small egg-shaped device and twisted it so it started vibrating. “I’m not strapping it on, so you’ll have to be very still if you want to keep it. Be good, baby.”
He placed the vibe right on the mound of her pussy, just touching her clit. Nell stopped breathing because it felt so, so good, but Henry was right. That playful vibrator was precariously perched. Any movement and it would roll off and she would be in trouble.
It shifted slightly, touching the top of her clit. The purr of the vibrator hit her already-stimulated clitoris, and she couldn’t help but moan. So close. Little spasms of heat electrified her skin, and the spark threatened to become a fire. Just a bit more. She could move it just a tiny bit closer. If she could wiggle just a fraction of an inch, she would have it.
And then it was gone, the egg rolling away. Damn it. Now she was cursing. She never cursed. Well, almost never.
“Oh, what a bad girl. She lost her egg.” Henry stalked back into the room. He’d lost the sweatpants and his glasses. He loomed over her, all predatory alpha male, every inch of his body corded with lean muscle. His cock thrust up from a nest of neatly trimmed dark hair. He held the crop in his hand, tapping his palm with it as he looked her over. “I believe I wanted that egg to be where I left it, Nell. You disobeyed.”
Oh, what was he going to do with that crop? He couldn’t smack her backside. “How about we negotiate? I’ll take half the blame and the egg can take the other half. I think it might be a faulty egg, Henry. Seriously, I’m planning a protest.”
A brilliant smile crossed his face. “I love to play with you. Well, my sweet sub, the egg has already had its punishment.” He drew the crop down her body, letting the leather tip caress her skin. He pulled it down until it sat just on the top of her clitoris. “That egg was so happy right here. It had finally found a nice spot to call home. So we’ll just move on to your punishment, Nell.”
Before she could protest that seemingly unfair circumstance, he tapped her clit with the crop. A quick slapping motion that made her scream. She could feel the plug in her ass as she clamped down. There was no real pain, just a jagged sensation that made her so deeply aware of parts of her body she’d never paid much attention to before. She was always so lost in thought that there was a beauty to the simplicity of being deeply aware of her own body.
He tapped her clit again, another jangly rush heating her skin.
“How wet are you, baby? Is this pussy getting soaked and ready for a cock? Or a tongue?” He slapped at her again, the sound worse than the sensation.
“I’m so wet, Henry.” She struggled with the bonds. She wanted to touch herself, to relieve the horrible ache that was building. The oil he’d rubbed into her clit had her throbbing and ready to beg for release, but he just kept up the slow torture.
“How about your nipples? Are they aching yet?” He flicked the crop across her breasts lightly.
“Oh, oh.” The words came out on a puff of breath. Her nipples were tight, so tight. The jewels vibrated as he touched them with the crop.
“I could leave you like this. I could sit down and get some work done safe and secure in the knowledge that you’re exactly where you should be.” He frowned. “Not off somewhere nearly being killed.”
She sniffled, tears forming because they were finally at the heart of the matter. She’d danced around the subject for days. She’d known Henry for a brief time, but she’d already learned that he didn’t talk about things until he was ready to. She’d had to be patient, to get him to a place where he felt safe enough to open up. He felt in control now. “I’m sorry, Henry.”
His jaw tightened, and he brought the crop across the fleshy part of her breasts. “I saw the tapes, Nell. The security camera watches the front gate. I watched that tape over and over again. You could have gotten away.”
She shook her head. “No, I couldn’t.”
“Yes, you could have, Nell.” He struck her thighs, the sound slapping, but the crop had a lot of play in it. Had it been a sturdier crop, Nell might have been screaming, but Henry seemed to know what he was doing. There was a sting and then a pleasant heat crept across her legs. “You could have run behind the security shed and called someone.”
She could have, but there was a problem with that scenario. “I would have left Kelly alone. I couldn’t do that, Henry.”
He slapped at her other thigh. “Yes, you could. You’re my sub. You do what I say and I say you save yourself.”
She wanted to hold him, but he likely wouldn’t allow it at this point. “Henry, I can be your sub here, but I always have to be me. I love you. I can’t tell you how much I love you, but you have to take me as I am, and I will always try to help. I could never walk away.”
“You were ready to give yourself up. After I had already fucking saved you.”
She still got cold thinking about the night. “But Seth was in danger, and I was the one Lyle wanted.”
“He would have killed you.”
“Not likely. You would have saved me again. I believe that. Henry, I know you think I’m naïve. I know you think half the things I believe in are stupid and silly, but this is who I am. I won’t allow someone like Warren Lyle the power to change the core of my soul. I won’t allow fear to do it either. If I had told you to kill him after he’d already been disarmed, I would have been reacting in a way that fear and anger shaped. I don’t want to spend my life reacting. I want to act. I want to act on all the good things I can be. I want to act on my impulse to be kind, to be positive.”
He stopped, his head down. “And if that gets you killed?”
“Then at least I lived the way I wanted to live.”
His eyes came back up, deep brown orbs that held her own. “I don’t understand you, but I don’t want you to change. Not ever.”
He tossed the crop away and climbed between her legs, placing his mouth right over her pussy. “God, I’ll never forget the way you taste.”
He licked her clit, his tongue rubbing hard, and there was no way to hold the orgasm back. It shot through her system like a wildfire, and she screamed out his name.
He stayed right where he was for a moment, licking and petting her as she came down from the high and then he sat up, gently releasing her legs from the spreader bar.
“What are you doing?” Nell asked, barely able to get the words out.
“I’m letting you out.” He grabbed the key Callie had left on the nightstand and started to release her hands.
Nell held back tears because she wasn’t ready for it to end.
She would never be ready for it to end.