Once Upon a Time in Bliss

Chapter Twelve

The key to the handcuffs snicked softly as Bishop released Nell’s wrists. He held her arm in his hand, checking to make sure the circulation was all right. Callie seemed to have done a very good job. There was no chafing or red marks, just Nell’s pure porcelain skin. He drew her hand to his lips, kissing her before moving to the next hand and releasing it, too.

He wanted to tie her up, to wind silk rope around her breasts until they stood up at attention. Bishop would take his time, the rope his art and Nell his canvas.

He needed more time. He needed time to do everything with her, to take her to a club, to spend hours and hours fucking her, only stopping for short naps and food he would give her from his hands.

He looked down at her breasts where the jewels dangled from her nipples. Her nipples were a nice ruby red, engorged with blood from the clamps. He hadn’t been as kind as Callie. Nell would feel the marks of those clamps for days. Every time she moved, she would feel the little ache as her nipples touched the fabric of her shirt. He knew it made him a bastard, but he liked the thought.

His hand trailed down to her breasts. The sadist in him was aroused at the thought of the bite of pain he was going to give her. He would never want to hurt her in any real way, but this was erotic, and he had a plan to soothe her. “This is going to hurt but only for a minute.”

She drew her plump bottom lip into her mouth. He loved that mouth. He loved the way she sucked his cock. “I don’t care about the pain, Henry. I just don’t want this to be over yet. You promised me a whole night.”

How could she think he was done? He wasn’t even close to being done.

She was a terrible submissive, and he wouldn’t have her any other way. “I’m in control here, Nell. You’ll take what I give you and not question me. You’re angling for another spanking, but I think that’s what you want. I’m not done, sweetheart. I haven’t even started yet, but I can’t leave you like this for very long. I know what I’m doing. I would never tell you how to protest, so leave the bondage to me.”

“Okay, Henry.” Tears sparkled in those clear brown eyes as she looked up at him, uncertainty plain on her face.

If she wasn’t the perfect sub, then he wasn’t exactly überDom when it came to her. Protocol didn’t matter. Rules didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but making her happy. He climbed onto the bed next to her, and caught her lips with his. Sighing into her mouth, he pressed her body into the bed, covering her entirely. So soft, so open. It didn’t matter that she questioned him. She was worried, and he wanted to make her comfortable. No concerns were allowed in the bed tonight. Just pleasure.

She could manipulate him with nothing but a few tears and those big doe eyes. He had fucking protocol when it came to his subs, and one of those rules was that his submissive didn’t question him. His lovers accepted his discipline and his pleasure and thanked him for it. If a prior sub had forced him to stop his previous plans to explain what he was doing to her, he would have dismissed her.

But not Nell. He couldn’t even think about dismissing Nell. The women who had come before had been casual, subs he’d picked up in a club or women he’d used as cover for his job. Some had been bought and paid for, some had betrayed him. Women in his world were kept at arms’ length, but he couldn’t do it with Nell. He couldn’t push her away, couldn’t hide behind rules or pretend that she didn’t really matter. She wasn’t exchangeable. No one else in the world could make him feel like Nell did.

She was his ultimate weakness. She could cost him everything. So why did he want to revel in her? Spend every second he could with her arms wrapped around him?

He was the badass. How did she make him feel safe? He kissed her softly, just enjoying the intimacy of being pressed to her body, her legs spreading to welcome him inside. She never tried to hide from him. From the moment he’d met her, she’d opened herself up and invited him in. They had all night. He didn’t want to waste a minute of it.

But first, he had to get her out of those clamps.

He shifted slightly, moving his head to her breasts. Poor little nipples. The teeth of the clamps bit into them, engorging them with blood, making them look like red jewels on her chest. They were so beautiful, and they were about to hurt like hell. “I’m going to take these off now, baby. Try not to scream.”

He pinched the clamp off the first one, and Nell’s gasp filled the room. Before she could say a word, he leaned over and took the wounded nipple into his mouth. He tongued it and suckled gently, easing the pain of the blood racing back in. He tossed the clamp aside, spending all his energy on soothing the nipple he’d just tortured. Nell’s hands found his hair as she held him close. He could smell her arousal, still taste her on his tongue.

“You’re not going to leave?” Nell asked, her voice small and vulnerable.

He would leave, but not tonight. He sighed, shifting so he could get to the other breast. “We have tonight. It’s all I can promise you, but I won’t leave you until I have to.”

If he stayed much longer, he wasn’t sure he would be able to leave at all.

His fingers moved nimbly, twisting off the clamp. His tongue was on her before she could scream. He moved back and forth between her breasts, loving and memorizing them so he could close his eyes and relive the moment later when he was far from Bliss. He couldn’t tell her, but he intended to live with her memory, the vision of her the only thing he would ever be able to love.

He’d made all the wrong choices. He could see that now. He’d done what Nell hadn’t. Nell acted on her love, her optimism. Bishop had acted on all that was dark. Nell had taken the bad shit that had happened to her and turned it into a positive. Bishop had used it as an excuse to indulge his darkness. He wasn’t worthy of her. He couldn’t be, but he could make her believe just how amazing she was.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you.” He kissed the top of her nipples one last time. Her breasts weren’t the largest he’d ever played with, but he loved how round and perfect they were, how they nestled into his palm as though they had been made to fit his hands.

“Henry, that’s sweet, but I’m hardly a beauty.” Her hands moved in his hair.

He lifted his head, frowning at her. He wasn’t about to put up with that. She was gorgeous. Perhaps not in a showy way. She didn’t wear makeup. Her clothes had been designed for function rather than seduction. But her skin was porcelain smooth, her eyes so guileless he could lose himself in them. Her goodness practically glowed. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I’ll never think anyone is lovelier than you. I’ll never want anyone the way I want you, baby.”

His cock wanted her. So fucking bad. He was dying. His dick was so close to her pussy. It rested right up on her labia, getting coated in all that juice from her orgasm. It would be such a simple thing to let his cock go, and he could be inside her in a single thrust. There wouldn’t be anything between them. If he fucked her without a condom, if he spent himself inside her, he would have to stay. He could buy them a couple more weeks to see if she was pregnant. And if she was pregnant?

The Agency would still come after him. An asset like Bishop didn’t retire to a sleepy mountain town and marry a sweet activist. The CIA had put a lot of money into training him, and he’d been a part of a whole lot of classified operations that the government didn’t want anyone to know about. And that wasn’t the only problem with this scenario. He’d made too many enemies, too many bad choices that could come back to haunt him and Nell. There were a whole bunch of nasty forces out there who would be thrilled to know John Bishop had a weakness.

If he wouldn’t make a good husband, then he wasn’t parenthood material either.

“Turn over.” He couldn’t take the chance, but he also was far too selfish to give up the idea of being inside her without anything between them. He’d had a physical, and she was perfect. There was nothing to keep him from this particular act. He wanted everything she would give him. He wanted to be her first all over again.

She allowed him to roll her over. That round, glorious ass of hers came into view. His mouth practically watered. He’d loved using the crop to tease her clitoris, but nothing compared to spanking that ass, to feeling her skin against the flat of his palm. Warm flesh filled the palms of his hands as he cupped her cheeks. He rolled them, spreading her wide so he could see the plug resting deep in her asshole, a mark of his possession. No one had ever claimed her ass. It would be his and his alone for now.

But she was small. If he had more time he would properly prepare her, spending night after night opening her up, making her ready to take his cock. But their time was almost over, so he needed to give her something to distract her, pleasure to make the shock of his cock splitting her open more savory.

Stefan Talbot had thought of everything. Bishop reached onto the nightstand, where he’d placed the items he’d prepared earlier. He grabbed the nicely sized rabbit vibrator and lubed it up.

“What are you doing, Henry?” Nell tried to look behind her.

They were going to have to talk about trust, but he didn’t mind because it gave him the perfect excuse to smack her lovely ass and hear that whimper that always went straight to his cock. She was so fucking perfect for him. He slapped at the fleshiest part of her cheek, loving the way it pinkened. “Keep your eyes to the front. You don’t need to look back. I’m going to fuck your ass, baby. Do you have a problem with that?”

Her head nodded, but her eyes stayed to the front. “I have several concerns, actually.”

He smacked her again, forcing down a laugh. There wasn’t an ounce of fear in her voice, the brat. He could practically hear the smile on her face. She loved this. She loved the push and pull of play.

She would need this again.

He forced that thought out of his head. If there was one thing he’d learned about this town, it was that they took care of their own. Their sheriff might be lackadaisical, but Rye Harper was going to take over, and he would watch out for Nell. Stef cared about her, too, and he understood what a woman like Nell would need. She would need a strong partner who would make sure she was taken care of while she tried to change the whole damn world, a man who would love her for everything she was. Stef could find her a Dom, a husband.

And Bishop would love her from afar. Always.

“Are you telling me no?” He knew the answer to that, but they were playing.

“I’d never tell you no, Henry. Yes. Yes. I want to experience it all with you. But you could spank me again.” She wiggled her ass his way.

She was going to kill him. He slapped her ass, giving her the erotic punishment she’d requested. He spanked her over and over until she was moaning and submissive. Until her head had dropped and she was on her elbows, her backside high in the air.

That was what he wanted. He lubed up the toy and started it humming.

“Henry, I won’t last long.” Her words sounded dreamy and a little far away.

“Come as much as you like, baby. I want you to come a hundred times tonight.” He lined the vibe up and started to work it into her pussy, pressing until the rabbit head was nestled against her clit.

He pushed it in, fucking in and out of that pussy as Nell started to moan. “I’m going to fill you, baby. I’m going to make you scream for me.”

Her ass moved, pressing back to take the vibe. Bishop could see the plug peeking out of those cheeks. He couldn’t stand it another minute.

“Nell, hold the vibe, baby. I need to get inside you.”

A hand came back as she held the vibrator, moving in long, slow passes into her cunt.

Bishop watched her fuck the vibrator as he lubed up his cock, anticipation building every second. He gripped his dick hard, spreading the lube, getting himself ready.

He spread her cheeks and toyed with the plug, twisting it slightly. Her spine shook, that slow rhythm of hers interrupted as he played with her asshole. He pulled on the plug and pressed it back in again and again until he couldn’t stand another second. He pulled it out, tossing it on the towel he’d placed on the nightstand. The plug had done its job, opening her up for his dick to plunder.

“Please, Henry.”

Yes, this would absolutely please Henry. God, he’d just thought of himself as Henry. Her Henry.

He pressed his dick to that hot hole and rimmed her with his cockhead, opening her further, forcing his way inside.

So tight. He pressed in and pulled out in tiny movements that threatened to make him lose control. Patience. He had to make it good for her. He had to make it last.

He gripped her hips and fed his cock inside, pushing past the tight ring of her anus. She gripped him hard, lighting up his dick. “Press back, baby. Open up for me. Let me in. I want to fuck you so much. I need you, Nell.”

She thrust back against him, pushing, drawing him in. His cock slid home, pressure making his balls draw up in pleasure. She was squeezing his cock, her asshole strangling him, pulsing and threatening to pull the cum straight out of him. But he resisted because this was fucking heaven. He wanted to stay here.

“Are you all right, baby?”

“So full. It’s almost too much,” she said, moaning. Her cheek was against the bed, her whole body spread and submissive.

“Play with the vibe, baby. Don’t forget your pussy.” He held himself still while she pressed the vibe up.

“Oh, my god. Oh. Henry. Henry.”

Somehow it felt right to have her call out that name. He was Henry with her. He would have to go back to being that sad-sack bastard John Bishop soon enough, but being Henry Flanders had been the joy of his life.

He felt her shudder as she came and let himself off the leash. He forced his dick back, the massage of the vibe ensuring that it wouldn’t last as long as he wanted it to. He pounded into her, forcing her to take every hard inch he had to give.

Nell shouted out again, and there was nothing left to fight. His spine shivered as his balls bubbled over with cum. Jets of cum poured from his cock as the orgasm filled his body, his soul. This wasn’t sex. He finally understood the difference. This was making love. This was pure connection.

Nell fell forward, her whole body seemingly depleted. He followed her, covering her flesh with his own. He wrapped her up in his arms, and a peace unlike anything he’d ever known came over him, settling around him more securely than any blanket. Her fingers threaded through his own, winding around and allowing her to cuddle up. He shifted and spooned her.

“Don’t you go to sleep.” He had plans and they didn’t involve a nap.

“Not on your life,” she said back with an intimate smile.

She was his life. He knew that now. She would be the last thing he thought of right before he died. He could also see now that he’d been looking for a way out for a long time—a way out of life. He’d put himself in the most dangerous situations he could and told himself that he was protecting his country or doing good, but all he was really doing was looking for that one bullet that had his name written on it.

Funny how that had worked. Now he was a little afraid of it, and that was exactly what would get him killed in the end.

One more night and then it would be over.

He rolled off the bed and picked her up.

“Henry?” Nell’s eyes opened as he settled her into his arms. “I love it when you carry me.”

He loved to carry her. If he had his way, it would be his only job. He could carry her around and protect her. She was everything that was pure and right and good about the world. He’d started out thinking she was a naïve idiot and ended up here realizing that she was the very thing he’d sought to protect. She wasn’t the status quo. She wasn’t some economic interest. She was hope for the future. She was everything.

“I’m going to take care of you, baby.”

He would, if only for the rest of the night.

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Her eyes flew open, and the creeping light of day filled her with utter panic. Clutching the covers, she sat straight up in bed and winced as every muscle in her body ached.

What time was it? How long had he been gone?

God, she’d thought she had longer. She shouldn’t have fallen asleep. She should have stayed up all night long, but Henry had utterly exhausted her. He’d put her in the shower and tenderly washed her body and her hair and then dried her off and then he’d gotten her dirty all over again. He’d been all over her all night until she’d finally drifted off to sleep.

How was she going to survive the next sixty years without him?

“I drew you a bath. It should help with the soreness.”

She turned and he was standing there, dressed as he had been when he’d first come to Bliss. He was buttoned up, and every piece of his wardrobe looked like it had been pressed to perfection. She liked him casual, naked even. This was the Henry Flanders the rest of the world knew, not the private lover that was just for her.

“I love you.” She was so glad she got to say those words to him. His suitcase was packed and sitting at the door. He was leaving, but she could say it. “I love you so much.”

His eyes closed behind those intellectual-looking glasses he wore. “I wish I could stay.”

It was right there on the tip of her tongue to beg him, but he had to make that decision himself or he would resent her one day. If he stayed because of guilt or out of pity, then nothing between them could really last. She couldn’t stand the thought of that. “I know. It’s okay, Henry.”

He looked down at her, his jaw tightening. “Nell, don’t do this. Fight me. Yell at me.”

Make it easy on him. She wasn’t going to do that. If he was going to leave, then she wanted this moment to be perfect, too. The last few days had been the most beautiful of her life. She wasn’t going to end them with a fight that had nothing to do with how they felt. “I love you.”

She let the blanket drop as she got up. She wasn’t going to hide from him.

“Nell. I have to go. My flight is at three. I have to get all the way to Colorado Springs.” But he wasn’t moving. He stood there by the door, but he didn’t go to open it.

“I love you.” She couldn’t say it enough. She wanted to make sure he knew so he would always know, no matter where he went, that she would be here loving him, wishing the very best for him.

A long moment passed before he answered. “I love you, too, but it doesn’t fix all the problems. It actually makes them worse. Baby, if I could stay I would. I want nothing more than to be here with you, to be the man you need me to be.”

“Tell me why. Tell me what these problems are, and we can fix them together.”

He shook his head. “No. That’s one thing I won’t do. I love you, baby. I won’t drag you into my world.” He cupped her face and dropped his forehead to hers. “God, I love you so much.”

Tears started. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t cry. “I can handle it, Henry. If you can’t stay here, then I’ll go with you.”

She wasn’t sure how it would work, but she was willing to try. She would leave Bliss for him. He was the important thing. Home was where Henry was.

He took a big step back as though that was the most horrifying thing he’d ever heard. “Never. I would never take you with me. God, I should have just left. This is too hard. Nell, I stayed because I wanted to say good-bye and wanted to explain the plans I’ve made for you.”

“Plans? When did you make plans?”

“I started calling to make some arrangements a few days ago. I knew I would have to leave, but I had to do a few things first. Your cabin is being fixed up as we speak. It’s my gift to you, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he stopped her, his hands on her shoulders.

“I can’t stay, Nell. This is all I can give you. I’m begging you to take it. I’m already going to be miserable. Please don’t make it harder.”

“I wish I understood.” What was so terrible that he couldn’t take her with him?

“I can’t talk about it. I know it’s wrong, and that’s why you should hate me. Nell, you should tell me to go to hell. You deserve better than me.”

He was trying so hard. It was obvious that he was trying to keep it together. He needed that calm, that coolness. He needed it to feel in control. She didn’t want to take that from him, but she also wasn’t going to lie. “I can’t hate you, Henry.”

“I took your virginity.”

“I wasn’t doing anything interesting with it anyway.”

His eyes hardened as he stared down at her. “Damn it, Nell. This isn’t a joke.”

Her heart twisted in her chest. “I know. Trust me, I know. There is nothing funny about this, but you can’t feel guilty. I’m not some starry-eyed teen. I knew you would leave, and I still said yes. I would do it all over again. I didn’t sleep with you to make you stay. I slept with you because I love you, and that won’t change because you do what you said you would do all along. You never lied to me.”

He turned and picked up his bag. “I’ve taken care of the cleanup at your cabin, and I’ve taken care of your mother’s medical bills.”

Her jaw dropped open. Her mother’s bills were so expensive. “Henry, you can’t do that.”

“I can and I did. I need to know you’re safe, Nell. I need to know I did something to make your life better.”

“But, Henry, that’s so much money.”

A sad grin tugged his mouth up. “Yeah, it’s about everything I had. I wish I had more. I wish I could make your life easy. I know the writing thing takes time to pay off.”

“The writing thing is a bust, Henry. No one wants to read about sharecroppers and protests and how man is killing the earth.”

“They like to read love stories, Nell. They like happily ever afters because so often they don’t get one. Seth sent over a top-of-the-line computer. It’s got everything on it. You shouldn’t have to find work for a while. You could give the romance thing a try. Happy endings. I think you should give us one.” He turned and there was no hiding the tears in his eyes.

“I won’t leave Bliss,” Nell vowed. “I know I said I would, but I won’t ever leave here. I won’t leave because this is the last place I saw you. If you ever want to come home, I’ll be right here. There will be a place at the table for you and a place in my bed. I’ll be here waiting.”

“I can’t come back, Nell.” The words sounded strangled out of his throat.

“Then I’ll wait until the next lifetime.” She would wait forever if she had to.

He kissed her forehead. “I love you. You have a good life.”

The door closed with a shudder of finality.

He was gone. She was alone again.

Nell sat down on the bed, pulling the covers around her. She’d been warm before, but now she felt the chill. The shades were closed, but she knew if she looked outside the world would be a snowy, frozen white.

Tears started to fall. Winter wouldn’t last forever. Spring would come, and she would likely still be alone and Henry would be somewhere else. She would look for pictures of him, and one day she might find he’d moved on and had a family. And Nell would be here, alone, because she couldn’t love anyone else.

She cried, ignoring the knocks on her door. Callie came first and then her mother. They stood outside and finally the knocking stopped. She cried for the longest time, letting everything out.

The morning turned to afternoon, and when long shadows fell through the room, Nell got up. She washed her face and dried her eyes and sat down at the new computer.

Nell Finn believed. She believed in so many things, but most of all she believed in the power of love and kindness and positivity. She believed that if she put good and beautiful things into the universe, perhaps whoever was at the center, whoever looked down from that Nirvana or Heaven or whatever a person called it, perhaps that being would send it all back.

She was still a child, clapping her hands so that Tinker Bell could live.

She couldn’t have Henry, but she could hope. She could believe. She started to type. She had a whole world around her that needed something good. Max and Rye. Callie. Stef.

Maybe she should start there. She couldn’t write about Henry. Not yet. But she could give her friends a happily ever after even if it was only on paper.

Nell began to write, her hopes and dreams for all of them flowing like a comforting wave.