Still Waters

Five

"She looks so little," Maddy said softly. "And so… alone." She turned from the one-way observation window. "Larry…"

"Maddy," Dr. Larry Whitlaw said warningly, and put a comforting arm across her shoulders. "Come on, now." He gave her a little squeeze.

She sighed. "Oh, Larry, I know. But…" Her voice trailed off as she watched Theresa work patiently with a puzzle in the Crisis Center's playroom.

"But you let yourself get involved here, didn't you?" Larry said. "After all my lectures, warnings, threats, and fatherly advice."

She smiled ruefully up at the Crisis Center's founder and director. "Yes, but not intentionally. Darn it, Larry, she had me hooked before I knew she was going to wind up here. What could I do?"

"Yeah, well." Larry Whitlaw stooped to look through the glass. He was a very tall, very thin man, whose poor posture did nothing to detract from his natural athletic grace. "She is a cutie, isn't she?"

Maddy cleared her throat. "I'm a little surprised you had her brought in so quickly. Was the family environment that bad?"

Larry frowned. "It wasn't good. Theresa doesn't live with her parents. They're both dead, as a matter of fact. She lives with an aunt and uncle. The mother's sister, I believe. The aunt is okay-just scared to death of her husband, which is fairly typical."

"Umm." Maddy nodded and tried to sound no more than professionally interested. She knew she wasn't fooling Larry one bit. "So what's going to be done with her? Will she become a county ward?"

"Larry nodded. "Hope so-hearing's tomorrow."

"Who's the judge?" When she thought of Theresa facing so many strangers in cold and unfamiliar places, something stirred inside her, awakening fierce and primitive instincts. She felt an urge to shelter, and to protect.

"Donna Bergman." Larry's compassion-weary eyes twinkled down at Maddy with understanding. "I put in a special request."

Maddy was relieved on that point, at least. Judge Bergman was a warm, motherly-looking person with a knack for putting traumatized children, as well as the adult victims of rape and abuse, at ease. "What about the aunt and uncle? Will they contest?"

"I doubt it. The aunt seems to have been genuinely fond of her sister, and tried to do what she could for the kid, but between you and me, I think she'll be relieved to have the source of tension between her and her husband out of the house. No, I don't anticipate any problems."

"So… what then?" Maddy persisted. "Where is she staying in the meantime? Juvenile Hall?" She was finding it increasingly hard to push her voice past the knot in her throat. Inside the playroom, Theresa had finished her puzzle. As she was carrying it back to the shelf, she stumbled, jostling the tray and spilling wooden puzzle pieces across the linoleum floor. Maddy could hear the clatter even through the thick walls and double-glass window. Tears stung her nose and throat as she watched the little girl clap both hands over her mouth and look around with huge, terrified eyes, then kneel and begin to gather the pieces with quick, furtive movements. The back of her neck looked so fragile, so vulnerable.

"Juvenile Hall's impacted at the moment," Larry said. "She'll stay at the Crisis Shelter until we can find her a foster home." His voice sounded thoughtful, and Maddy glanced up, not surprised to find he was looking straight at her, not at Theresa.

To her own amazement she heard herself say, "Larry, let me keep her."

"Maddy…"He looked sympathetic but regretful- and not nearly as startled by the request as Maddy was.

"It's so cold here," she said. "So… institutional. She's got to be feeling lost and confused. Just until you find a good foster home."

"Maddy, you know what my thoughts are on this. You know what the policy-"

"Oh, Larry, damn the policy! That's a little child in there. She knows me. She trusts me. I know she'd be happier-"

"For how long? Two days? A week? She forms an attachment to you, and then she's got to adjust to another change. And you-do you really think it would be easier for you to let her go then?"

Maddy took a deep breath. "Then let me be her foster home. Come on, Larry, why not?"

The psychologist made an exasperated sound and turned away from the window. "Maddy…"

She gripped the sleeve of his rumpled tweed jacket. "Larry, if you put in a recommendation-"

"I don't see how I could do that, Maddy."

"Why?"

"Maddy, you're not seeing things very clearly. Which is precisely why you shouldn't have allowed yourself to get involved emotionally in a case. To begin with, you're single, a working woman, with no experience with children."

"No experience! What about my work here at the clinic? What about my programs in the schools? I see hundreds of children!"

"See them, sure. But that's not living with them. Raising them. Dealing with the everyday problems- the tears and tantrums, the mess, the noise, the inconvenience. And most of all, the constant and unremitting responsibility."

"Don't lecture me, Larry. I'm not a child, and I think I know very well what that little girl needs. She needs a lot of love and patience and affection, and I think I can give it to her!"

"Maddy." Larry's eyes and voice were kind. "What Theresa needs more than anything is a normal home environment. Can you honestly tell me you could provide her with that? The way you live? In a fairy-tale cottage, surrounded by talking toys and a cat with a weird sense of humor? You know the standards for foster homes as well as I do. Honey, you can't give her a bedroom to sleep in. You don't even have a bedroom to sleep in!"

Maddy just stared at him, frustrated by her yearnings and the knowledge that he was right. After a moment Larry pursed his lips and asked softly, "And then what happens… when she's adopted?"

"Adopted?"

"If no other relatives can be located, we'll push to have Theresa released for permanent adoption. As a matter of fact, we've already had an inquiry about Theresa, from someone interested in permanent custody."

"Someone's asked about adopting Theresa? Already?" Maddy was stunned. "Who? Who could possibly know she'd be-"

"Someone you might have heard of, actually." Larry's face was carefully blank. "Zack London."

"What?" Maddy's voice rose to an incredulous squeak. "You can't be serious!" Of all the emotions bumping into one another inside her, the most recognizable were jealousy and a sense of betrayal. He knew how she felt about Theresa. Why hadn't he said anything to her about this yesterday?

Larry was gazing placidly at her. "Sure am. Came to see me this morning, as a matter of fact. Of course, I told him he was a bit premature-"

"Premature! Larry, he's no more qualified to be a parent than I am! You don't mean to tell me he'd be seriously considered-"

Larry looked stern. "On the contrary, Maddy, he's a lot more qualified than you are. He's at least had experience raising a child. He's financially secure, and capable of providing materially for a child."

"He's single!"

"That's true," Larry murmured, nodding sagely. "That's true. But not likely to remain so forever. Once he's had some time to heal-"

"How do you know? About Zack London, I mean? You sound as if you know him personally."

"Oh, Zack and I have worked together on various projects-Boy's Club, Parks and Rec." Larry shrugged and smiled.

Feeling frustrated and outwitted, Maddy abruptly turned her back on Larry and began stuffing puppets into their cases with uncharacteristic disregard for their well-being.

"Hey… Maddy, listen." Larry Whitlaw was a good friend, and when he placed his big hands gently on her shoulders her anger at him ebbed. Her shoulders sagged, and he massaged them sympathetically. "You know that if anybody else did this, I'd put 'em on leave of absence, don't you? Emotional basket cases we don't need around here."

She shook his hands off and laughed painfully. "So what makes me an exception?"

He waved a hand at the puppet cases. "At the risk of making you impossible to live with, I guess a lot of people around here think you're damn near irreplaceable."

She placed a hand over her heart and groaned. "Please. I don't think my ego can stand it!"

He chuckled, and gazed fondly at her for a moment. "Tell you what. I don't see any harm in your maintaining contact with Theresa, once she's established in her foster home. I've no objection to a friendly relationship, as long as it doesn't interfere with her adjustment to her new environment and isn't disruptive to her or the foster parents. Is that understood?"

"Understood," Maddy said softly, and smiled radiantly.

But as she loaded her puppets into her car, she was thinking, with an acknowledged lack of fairness, Zack London, how could you do this to me?

It was probably a good thing Maddy was still angry with Zack when she arrived at his home for her first swimming lesson. Without that spine-stiffening core of resentment, she might never have made it from her car to the front door. As it was, the finger that punched the doorbell shook noticeably. Maddy noticed it, and clenched her hand into a fist. Lord, how she wished she'd brought one of her puppets along! Bosley would have known exactly how to deal with this…

A moment later she was thinking that Bosley, in her new incarnation, at least, would have had a field day.

Zack opened the door himself. He was wearing only a pair of swimming trunks and a light blue cotton something with a hood. The blue thing-a light jacket or cover-up of some sort-was unzipped and hanging negligently off his broad shoulders. His chest, torso, and those long, smooth-muscled swimmer's legs were bare. Maddy stared resentfully at him. Why couldn't he have had a maid? His house, like all the houses in this part of town, was big, custom-built, and overlooked the golf course. She would have thought Zack London at least would have a maid.

He, in his turn, was looking her up and down, taking in her neat navy blue linen slacks and white cableknit cotton sweater. "Hi. Glad you came," he said with amusement in his voice and eyes. "Did you come to swim, or ski?"

"It gets cold in the evenings," she said defensively, clutching her oversized purse tightly. "And I don't make a habit of driving around town in a bathing suit."

He mumbled something that sounded like "Pity," and stood aside. "Come on in. You can change in the bathroom."

"Thank you," she said primly. Her teeth had developed a tendency to chatter. She clamped them together firmly and said brightly, "Nice place." She waved a hand that encompassed both Zack's manicured front lawn and the golf course beyond it. "Do you play golf?"

"Not much." His expression and voice were neutral. "Carol-my wife-played quite a bit."

"Oh." In her dismay, Maddy forgot to keep her teeth clenched. Sure enough, they made an audible clattering noise.

Zack glanced at her with interest. "Are you really that cold, or is it nerves?"

"Cold," she mumbled, hugging herself and lying with conviction. "Definitely."

"Uh-huh." Zack's expression was carefully serious. "Well, it would probably help if you came in off my front doorstep."

"Doorstep?" she looked around, surprised to find that she was still outside. "Oh…"

Zack held the door, politely waiting. Maddy stayed where she was. After a moment Zack sighed, took her arm, and pulled her across the threshold.

"Nice house," she said, looking around desperately.

The living room was enormous, immaculate, and sterile, done in neutrals and cool shades of blue and sea green. Beyond it she could see a formal dining room, raised two steps above the level of the entryway and living room. It, too, was immaculate. It seemed unused, like a display in a furniture-store window. "It seems very… big."

"Too big for one person, you're probably thinking. And you're right." Zack's jaw seemed to tighten, then relax. "I'm thinking seriously about doing something about that."

Maddy's breath caught in her throat. "Do you… live here… all alone?" It was hard to imagine someone as casual-appearing as Zack, with his jeans and polo shirts, his undisciplined hair and sunburned skin, living in a place as cold and empty as this. Maddy hated to think of Theresa living in such an environment. And surely the county-adoption caseworker would agree that this was no place for a child.

"I have a housekeeper." Zack's voice was dry. Maddy glanced at him guiltily and saw a sardonic smile on his lips. "So you don't have to worry about being alone with me. And now," he said briskly, dismissing that subject and putting his hands on her shoulders, turning her the way one would a confused and balky child, "quit stalling. Bathroom's down that hall-first door on your right. Did you bring a towel?"

She snapped her fingers. "Oops-I left it in the car. I'll just go-"

Zack's arm made a barrier across the door just in time to thwart her escape. "No, you don't. I think I can probably find you something." His eyes were amused, but sympathetic.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, feeling ridiculous. "I guess maybe I am a little nervous."

"No!" He put a hand on his chest and looked incredulous.

She stared resentfully at him for a long, tense moment, then gave an embarrassed giggle. "Okay, I'm sorry," she said. "Really. I'm being pretty silly."

"Yeah, you are." He put his hands on her shoulders and smiled disarmingly at her. "Do I look like a maniac who drowns gorgeous blonds in my hot tub?"

She focused on his dimple and shook her head. "No."

"Oh, what a relief." His smile broadened and became irresistible. "Besides, Dahlia wouldn't allow it. Maddy… look. I'm here to help you get over your fears, not make them worse. Everything we do tonight will be pleasant. Enjoyable. Even… fun." His voice was soft and deep-throated. It soothed the rough, raw edges of her fear like warm oil. "Trust me. Nothing's going to hurt you tonight, or scare you. Okay?"

"Okay." She nodded, but somewhat dubiously. She did trust him not to hurt her. So why was she still shivering?

It wasn't until she was closed into the privacy of the bathroom and facing her own reflection in the mirror that she realized it wasn't the water she was afraid of at all. It was Zack. Just… Zack.

The problem, she decided as she peeled off her sweater and folded it neatly, was that he kept giving off conflicting signals. Not that she was adept at reading such signals, granted, but she'd had enough of the wrong kind of experience to know when a man was putting the make on her. She just wasn't hearing the usual warning bells and sirens with Zack. And yet he'd already taken more physical liberties with her than she'd tolerated from any of the men she'd dated in recent memory.

What did he want from her? On the one hand, he courted her trust. And on the other… what?

Maddy pulled on her suit, the plain black one she had bought for her first lesson at the public pool, and surveyed herself critically in the mirror. Damn the suit, anyway. It had seemed so practical. She'd had no idea when she bought it that it would be so… revealing.

"You really are cold, aren't you?" Zack said when she finally found the courage to rejoin him. She glanced down at herself and groaned inwardly.

"Don't worry," he went on. "The hot tub will take care of those chills." He sounded comforting. Maddy tried to hide her telltale nipples behind a folded towel.

"H-hot tub?" She stumbled a little as she followed Zack down a short flight of carpeted stairs to a sumptuously appointed room that appeared to be a combination den and game room. The carpet was thick, chairs and sofas big and comfortable, tables cluttered with books and magazines. One end of the room was dominated by a huge stone fireplace, the other by an equally enormous pool table. In between, wide glass doors opened onto a covered patio made jungly by potted and hanging plants. Beyond the greenery, Maddy could just see the turquoise glitter of the pool.

"We'll start with the hot tub," Zack said, pulling open the sliding glass doors. His hand on her back was uncompromising. With a perfectly straight face he added, "It's a terrific way to warm up."

"Hot tub," she repeated, balking suspiciously. "I thought you were supposed to teach me to swim." She glared at him accusingly. "I may be from Indiana, but I know you can't swim in a hot tub."

"Hey, who's the teacher here? Quit worrying about the swimming part. Right now it's your fear of water we have to deal with. First things first. And the first thing I'm going to do"-he firmly removed the towel from her frozen fingers and dropped it onto the deck's rough paving stones-"is show you some of the sensual properties of water." His jacket joined her towel.

"Sen-sensual?" Inexplicably, Maddy had begun to shiver again.

Zack moved away to flip switches and punch buttons. He returned to hold out his hand to her in a gesture that was very much like an invitation to dance. "Yes… sensual. As in, 'appealing to the senses.' Your fear of water isn't all-encompassing. You don't get hysterical when presented with a glass of iced tea, do you?"

"Of course not!"

"And you take showers, don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do. That's ridic-"

"We're making progress! Baths?"

"Yes!"

"You see? We've just got to narrow the scope of your fear even further. If we eliminate all the things about water that don't frighten you, let's hope that, by the process of elimination, we can get to what's really bugging you. Come on, Maddy-take my hand."

Fascinated against her will, she put her hand in his larger, warmer one, and allowed herself to be led to the edge of the tub.

He stopped and murmured, "Listen."

"What?" She stared at him, confused.

"Hush. Listen to the water. Hearing's a sense, too. Don't you know that the sound of running water is considered to be a terrific natural tranquilizer?" Keeping a firm grip on her hand, he stepped into the bubbling water. Maddy had no choice but to follow.

"Ever been in a hot tub before?" he asked casually as he guided her into the whirlpool bath.

She threw him what she hoped was a disdainful look. "Of course I have. I didn't just fall off a hay wagon, you know!"

He grinned disarmingly and peered closely at her. "Let's see." He picked an imaginary straw out of her hair, shook his head, and flicked it away. Maddy found herself grinning back, and curled her free hand into a fist and pounded it once, in gentle reproof, on his smooth chest. He captured it and, holding both of her hands between his, said softly, "Maddy, sit down."

Without taking her eyes from his, she lowered herself into the frothy bubbles. Warmth, churning, caressing, tingling warmth enveloped her to her chin.

Maddy hadn't lied. She had been in hot tubs before. But not like this. She wasn't sure why, but this was… different. The sensations were indescribable. And delicious. The water stroked her body like fingers, magical, sensitive fingers. And the churning seemed to be inside her…

Zack's mouth had curved in a smile, but as she gazed at him it seemed to blur and soften. He let go of her hands and touched her face, drawing his thumb across the film of moisture on her upper lip. Her lips parted in response. He touched her warm cheek with the backs of his fingers, then lifted a strand of her hair and delicately tucked it behind her ear.

"Maddy… close your eyes."

It was an easy command to obey. Her eyelids had grown so heavy, it was almost a relief to let them drift softly down.

"Feel the water… go with it. Let it hold you…"

His fingers combed her hair back from her temples, fanning wide to encompass her head. Her head had become too heavy for her neck to support. It felt good to let it lie in the basket of his hands.

"Don't go to sleep on me, now." His voice was gently amused.

Her eyes flew open, and for a moment she felt disoriented to discover it was still daylight. Her senses had somehow evoked subliminal memories of tropical nights, soft and humid and heavy with the scent of flowers. She cleared her throat, and, like an intoxicated person trying hard to appear sober, focused her eyes on Zack's dimple and said, "I wasn't sleeping."

Her intention was to speak clearly and with authority, but for some reason her words came out with a bit of a slur. She knotted her eyebrows into a frown and tried again. "I was just… relaxing."

"Good." His smile was approving. His fingers moved, rubbing back and forth on her scalp. The rasping sound they made was loud in her ears, and had an oddly hypnotic effect. Her jaw felt unhinged. She said "Umm…" then decided that it took too much effort to talk.

"Now," Zack murmured, "I want you to lie in the water. Raise your body, stretch out flat, just like you would if you were lying in bed. The most comfortable bed in the world. Feathers… down…"

"Water bed," she mumbled, pleased with her cleverness.

Zack's chuckle made a cool stirring on her heated skin. Still supporting her head in his hands, he turned her and arranged himself so that her back was against his chest, her head resting in the hollow of his shoulder. His hands slid down her neck to her shoulders, then moved slowly along her arms to her wrists. Very gently he drew her arms up and out until they lay on the water's frothy surface, perpendicular to her body.

"That's right… just let them float. Let the water hold you."

She felt his hands on her back, her ribs, her waist, gently lifting. They seemed like part of the water…

It was weird, as if she were floating on clouds of fragrant steam, but at the same time her body felt so heavy. She was aware of her pulse throbbing in strange and disturbing places, in parts of her body she'd never noticed her pulse in before. She had a vague feeling that what she was doing, what he was doing, was more erotic than educational, but she couldn't seem to care. In fact, if she turned her head just a little, her lips would touch wet-silk warmth… his neck…

"Oops," Zack said. "It's getting too hot in here, I think." Odd, she thought. Was it her ears, or did his voice seem slurred too? "Time to cool off. Upsy-daisy."

He restored her to a sitting position. She felt lightheaded and slightly nauseated.

"Can you stand?" he asked.

She nodded, and did so, but her legs felt like jelly and she had to lean heavily on the hand he offered to help her over the side of the tub and into the pool.

"It'll seem cold," he said, "after the hot tub."

It did, but it also felt refreshing, like a cool drink on a hot summer's day. The water was a liquid caress on her heated skin. It touched and tantalized her nerve endings in new ways, and gave another dimension to the term "gooseflesh." Maddy forgot she was in a swimming pool. All she was aware of was the cool kiss of the water and Zack.

He was there, close behind her, his hands curving around her shoulders, his chest against her back. His words were a whisper in her ear.

"Now, do what you did in the tub. Stretch out… just like lying in bed. Relax. Let the water hold you."

This time he didn't have to position her arms. She let them drift outward on the gently undulating water, like wings. And her head came to rest quite naturally in the curve of his neck. Once again his hands were on her waist, lifting, but now the water was cold and his hands were warm, and there was no confusing the two. She felt his body come up against her back and align itself under hers, and she knew beyond any doubt that it was his body that supported her, not the water. She felt her hair fan out around her shoulders and tickle her skin with a feather's touch. Zack's chin was a solid, raspy pressure against her temple, her anchor and her security. She could have drifted like that forever.

Her legs settled slowly downward, until they tangled with Zack's hard, masculine ones. She jerked hers upward, but that caused her middle to sink. When her bottom encountered an approximately corresponding section of his anatomy, she panicked, and floundered to an upright position. Zack's arms came around her and held her tightly against him.

"Take it easy," he said tersely against her ear. "It's okay."

"I'm all right," she said irritably. "I'm fine." She didn't tell him that it wasn't the water that had precipitated her panic. She tilted her head forward so that his lips were touching her hair, and not the supersensitive shell of her ear. She felt his mouth move briefly down along the lines of her neck. Then he put his hands on her shoulders and stood back, separating himself from her.

"Good job. You did great." His voice sounded strange, oddly garbled. "And that's enough for one day, I think."

Maddy thought so too. She felt shaky, and again knew it had very little to do with her fear of water. In fact, she'd hardly thought about her fear at all.

Quite suddenly, she didn't want to look at Zack. She was vibrantly, electrifyingly aware of him with every nerve and sense she possessed, and was afraid he would see it in her face if she looked at him. Dammit, it was his fault. In fact, he'd done it deliberately, showing her the "sensual properties of water"! The trouble was, how did she turn her senses off now that she was out of the water?

He gave her his hand to guide her up the pool steps. His hand was firm and strong, and she was sorry when he released her and bent to pick up two beach towels from the deck. As he tossed her one, she noticed that he didn't seem eager to meet her eyes, either. He was wearing that same perplexed frown she'd seen on his face the day she'd appeared by mistake in his swim class. She was just beginning to feel as shy and awkward as she had then, when he suddenly looked full at her and smiled. To Maddy, it was as if someone had turned on a high-powered heat lamp.

"Well, that wasn't so terrible, was it?" he asked. All at once he seemed to be bursting with energy and good spirits.

She shook her head. He was making her breathless again. "No. But I didn't-we didn't do anything. I thought…"

"Thought what? That I was going to just toss you in the deep end of the pool and let you sink or swim?"

It was a joking remark, but it caught Maddy off guard. She couldn't control her involuntary spasm of reaction. She saw Zack's eyes narrow slightly and knew he hadn't missed it, but he didn't comment. Instead he stepped close to her, took her towel, and arranged it around her shoulders, using one end of it to dab at the moisture on his own face. It was an unexpected gesture, and one of such complete familiarity that it seemed to link them together in a cozy intimacy that excluded everything but the two of them. Everything-even breathing-was suspended. His eyes were very intense, and so near, she couldn't focus on both of them at once. She could see the tiny amber specks in the deep blue irises, count the drops of moisture on his eyelashes. His body was heat, strength, and magnetism, pulling on her.

She heard a small, sharply indrawn breath, and realized it was hers. It broke some sort of spell. Smile lines crinkled around Zack's eyes.

"I'm your teacher, remember? You done good- trust me." He ducked his head and dropped a quick, and completely fraternal, kiss on the end of her nose. "Come on. Let's dry off, and I'll see if Dahlia's around. Would you like some coffee? Hot cocoa? Herb tea?"

"Herb tea?"

He shrugged, grinning. "Hey, we aim to please."

Laughing, Maddy said, "Coffee's fine." And then, impulsively, "No-hot cocoa. I don't think I've had hot cocoa since I was a little girl." She drew the towel around herself, snuggling into its folds and into her memories. "It makes me think of snow and cold winter evenings. We'd come in half-frozen, and Mother would have a big pot of cocoa steaming on the stove. One sip, and you could feel the warmth clear down to your toes."

Zack dropped his arm casually across her shoulders and said softly, "Hot cocoa it is." As they went into the house he raised his voice to call up the stairs, "Dahlia? Dahlia, are you there?"

A rich and mellow voice answered, with just a touch of gentle mockery, "Yes, Zachary."

"Dahlia, come here a minute. Want you to meet a friend of mine. I'm in the basement."

"I can hear where you are," the voice scolded goodnaturedly, coming nearer. A very tall, very regal woman with white hair and toffee-colored skin appeared at the top of the stairs, drying her hands on a towel.

"Dahlia, this is Maddy." Maddy was very aware of Zack's hands resting on her shoulders in a gesture that seemed almost… possessive.

The housekeeper's dark gaze met Zack's eyes first, then took in the position of his hands, and finally swept over Maddy with a look of frank assessment. "Hello, Maddy." Her voice had a low, musical quality, like an oboe.

"I'm teaching Maddy to swim," Zack said, explaining, it seemed to Maddy, unnecessarily.

Dahlia said "Hmm," and looked dubious. Her expression plainly said, "A likely story…"

Maddy turned her head to look at Zack and found the expression on his face so patently guilty that it began to strike her as funny. It was strangely comforting to see Zachary London-Aquaman!-looking like a little boy caught with frogs in his pocket and mischief on his mind. Her self-confidence seemed to be growing in direct proportion to his discomfort. It made a warm, cozy pool inside her, very much like that hot cocoa she remembered so well. And at the same time, it gave her an overwhelming desire to giggle.

Zack cleared his throat. "Dahl, could you please make us some… hot cocoa?"

"Hot cocoa?" The housekeeper's eyebrows shot up.

"Hot cocoa," Zack confirmed solemnly.

"Hot cocoa," Dahlia said, and went away muttering to herself.

When she was out of earshot, Maddy released her pent-up laughter and murmured, "Wow."

Zack look puzzled. "What's funny?" She shook her head and covered her smile with her hand. Her feelings were too tender and new to bring into full light.

"Dahlia raised eight children," he said, still watching her warily. "Every single one of them went to college."

"Hmm," Maddy said, and sat, gingerly because of her wet bathing suit, on one of the two couches that flanked the fireplace. She didn't feel tender anymore, and she didn't feel like laughing, either. It had occurred to her that Zack's housekeeper was better equipped and qualified to care for a child than she was. To ward off creeping depression, she looked around her and said brightly, "This is a nice room. It's… warm. Lived in."

"Whereas the rest of the house isn't," Zack said dryly, sweeping newspapers onto the floor as he sat opposite her. "There's a good reason for that, actually." He leaned back and propped his feet on the oak parquet coffee table. "This is where I live." His gaze rested briefly on Maddy's hands, which she was using to hold the towel firmly together over her breasts. "Except for my bedroom, it's the only room in the house I really use." His smile was crooked. "As you pointed out, it's a big place for one person, and it makes things easier on Dahlia. Maddy…" He took his feet off the coffee table and sat forward, looking earnest. "There's something…"

Maddy felt cold settle over her. She didn't know why she dreaded what was coming, but she did. Somehow, just knowing what he was going to say filled her with a deep sense of loss.

He got up and walked to the fireplace. With his back to her he took a deep breath. Maddy set her jaw and waited. Finally, he turned to face her.

"Maddy, what would you think… about my adopting Theresa?"