Still Waters

Six

Adopt Theresa.

Even with advance warning, hearing Zack say the words out loud made Maddy feel queasy. Hurt. Resentful. Jealous.

And she couldn't figure out why, or why she should have this sense of loss. It had been foolish to think that she might have had any chance to adopt Theresa. It was a dumb idea anyway. Larry had been absolutely right about that. And the funny thing was, Maddy didn't even know where it had sprung from. She was only twenty-five, for Pete's sake! She wasn't even thinking of getting married, wasn't dating anyone in particular. She liked living alone. Well… almost alone. Why this sudden yearning for motherhood?

Zack was talking to her, though it seemed more as if he were talking to himself. "Maybe it's crazy. I know it's crazy." He raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head, looking perplexed. "I mean, I've only seen her a couple of times. And it's not like I've been thinking about it. In fact, it's probably been about the furthest thing from my mind. But… I don't know, there was just something about that little girl, right from the first time I saw her, that day at the pool, remember?"

Maddy nodded dumbly. As if she would ever forget it!

Zack gave a short, ironic laugh. "When you told me to keep an eye on her, and why, I felt… strange. Kind of sick to my stomach, you know what I mean? And then, when I saw her…" His fingers tore through his hair, leaving wreckage behind. His eyes were dark and passionate, his jaw bunched with tension. With his broken nose he looked like a street brawler, spoiling for a fight. Maddy was fascinated. He resembled that ail-American sunshine boy of billboards and cereal boxes about as much as she resembled Cher.

"I wanted to kill someone," he said through clenched teeth. "Really kill someone-with my bare hands." He looked at Maddy. "Can you understand that? And it was like… I just knew. You know?" His eyes were focusing on her with such naked appeal that she had to look away to save her own emotions. Without the protection of her puppets, she felt… bruised.

You know? she repeated silently. Oh, boy, did she know! As she stared through a shimmering blur at the mess on the coffee table, she was thinking that, when it came to falling in love, whether it was with a member of the opposite sex, a lonely little girl, or a puppy in a pet shop window, you really didn't have much to say about it. Your heart did as it pleased. The rest of you just went along for the ride. And sometimes it was a very bumpy ride.

"Maddy?" Zack was sitting down on the couch opposite her, looking puzzled. She realized she hadn't yet answered his question, or, in fact, said a word. She cleared her throat and offered a tentative "Umm."

"Look, I know you probably think it's crazy. A bachelor adopting a little girl. And I understand that-you don't really know me very well." He jumped up, too full of tension and energy to sit still. "But it's different now. Single people can adopt kids. Happens all the time, right?"

"Well

"Anyway, I thought you might know-" He came back to the couch and perched on the edge of it. "Maddy, you work with those agencies all the time. Tell me honestly, do you think I can do it? Is there any chance at all that they will let me adopt her?"

"Well, I-"

Maddy was given a reprieve by Dahlia, who arrived at that moment bearing two mugs of steaming cocoa on a tray. As she set the mugs on the coffee table she divided a look of stern disapproval equally between Maddy and Zack and went back up the stairs grumbling about people who sat around in wet clothes, catching their deaths.

Maddy picked up a mug and curled her hands around it, inhaling the heavenly scent of chocolate. She was feeling a little ashamed now, and a lot confused. Somehow, during the course of the evening, this man sitting across the coffee table from her had stopped being Aquaman, once and for all. He'd even stopped being Zack London, Olympic champion and household name. He'd become just a man-a very strong, very attractive, very vulnerable man. And she was finding out that that made him an even more devastating threat to her emotional stability. She was less in awe of him, but somehow even more afraid. She wanted less and less to keep him at a safe distance, an arm's-or puppet's-length away. She wanted instead to reach out and touch him. To touch his face, to brush back that stubborn curl of sun-burnished hair from his forehead. That confused her, because she'd never felt like that about anyone before.

And she felt ashamed because she knew how selfish she was being. Theresa had lost her parents; Zack had lost his child. Theresa needed love; Zack had plenty of it to give. It should have seemed like the happiest ending to a sad story since Cinderella. It was childish of her to feel left out.

"You haven't said much," he observed, absently sipping his cocoa. "You're frowning. I guess you don't think much of the idea."

"Oh," she mumbled, taking a deep breath, "it isn't that."

"What, then?" He shook his head. "I guess I thought you'd be happier about it."

Anger flared in her. How could he be so insensitive! Didn't he have any idea how she felt? She tried to remember if she ever had mentioned to Zack the way she felt about Theresa. Well, no, probably not. She hadn't told him anything about herself, really. She didn't know him well enough.

Taking another deep breath, she said, "I'm just surprised. It's very… sudden. And unexpected."

"I know. It is for me too." He was watching her closely. Maddy braced herself and met his eyes, then leaned into the contact, pressing against it, testing the strength of her emotions.

She swallowed. "And, um… you're single."

His gaze didn't waver. "Yes, I am. But I don't intend to be single forever. And in the meantime, I have Dahlia."

"Yes, that's another thing. What does she think of all this? Have you talked to her?"

"Yes, I have, and she's tickled to death." Maddy tried to imagine that majestic woman being "tickled" about anything. "She's ready to take on the entire county, and that jerk of an uncle, single-handed!" That, Maddy thought, sounded more like the Dahlia she'd met.

She leaned forward and said earnestly, "Zack, it isn't that I think it's a bad idea. I just don't think it's a good idea to get your hopes up. Theresa is only in temporary protective custody-a seventy-two-hour warrant. Tomorrow shell be made a temporary ward of the court. There will be witnesses. The guardians have to appear."

"I know," Zack said, looking grim. "I've been subpoenaed as a witness."

Maddy nodded. "So have I. I guess I'll see you there…"Her voice, somehow, just trailed off. Maintaining eye contact with Zack became uncomfortable, so she broke it and stood up, pulling her towel tightly around her. "Shell be put in a foster home; there will be a thorough search for other relatives. And after that, if nobody turns up, the current guardians would have to sign papers relinquishing all claim. And you'd probably have to get them to agree to a private adoption in advance of the permanent-custody hearing. That way, there would be a transfer of custody directly to you, rather than to the county. Once she's made a permanent county ward, it's very difficult to-"

"Damn difficult!" Zack jumped up and followed her to the cold fireplace. When she turned to face him, he put his hands on her arms. "Just tell me what I have to do."

Maddy suddenly felt small and unprotected. She was surprised to discover it wasn't altogether a bad feeling. "Well," she said, smiling slightly, "for starters, I'd get a lawyer."

"I have one." Zack brushed that impatiently aside. "What else?"

"You've already got Larry Whitlaw on your side. That helps."

Zack looked at her speculatively. "You've already talked with Larry about this."

She nodded.

He was silent for a moment, then asked, "What about you? Are you on my side?" His voice was soft.

He touched the side of her face, then fingered a strand of damp hair back behind her ear.

Light shivers ran through her scalp and down her neck, just under her skin. She felt an urge to tilt her head and nuzzle her cheek against his hand. "Yes," she whispered. It was a kind of sigh. "Of course I'm on your side."

His triumphant laughter woke her from the sensual daze his nearness had induced. She muttered something vague about its being time to go and ran up the stairs to the bathroom where she had left her clothes.

Oh, yes, she was on his side. She'd do anything for that man. She'd just realized that, and it scared her a bit. She'd do what she could to help him win custody of Theresa, even though she wanted the little girl so badly herself, she ached with it.

Oh, be honest with yourself, Amanda, she thought as she drove home through the winding streets that bordered the golf course. You know what you really want!

She tried it on in her imagination, and it made a lovely vision through her tears, haloed in a pink shimmer of sunset: a dark-haired little girl smiling happily up at the two people on either side of her; one hand lost in the brawny grip of a man with powerful, swimmer's legs and unruly hair frosted with gold; the other held securely in the hand of a tall woman with Nordic coloring and a touch of self-consciousness in her walk…

Zack wasn't looking forward to the hearing. He didn't know what to expect, but had a vague idea he ought to be making a good impression, so he'd put on a sport jacket and a tie.

He'd even gotten a haircut, in a last-ditch effort to subdue his hair. As far as he could see, it hadn't done anything but leave a telltale strip of untanned skin on the back of his neck, letting the whole world know just exactly what he'd tried to do.

"Relax," Larry Whitlaw told him as they were crossing the courtyard of the county building complex. "It's routine. The judge will ask a few questions, you answer in simple sentences, and that's it."

"Yeah, sure." Zack hadn't been in a courtroom since the day he'd faced a judge in juvenile traffic court about his first-and last-speeding ticket. He didn't remember it as having been a particularly pleasant experience. The judge had bawled him out and given him a choice of paying a fine or going to traffic school and having his driving record wiped clean. It hadn't been a hard decision to make. And then his dad had taken the fine out of his allowance anyway, and impounded his car keys for two weeks to boot.

That had been another time, another place, another courthouse, but Zack had an idea they were all pretty much alike. Big, dim, cold, and intimidating-a hell of a place for a little, tiny kid. He said as much to Larry.

The psychologist threw him a look as he dodged a gardener with a leaf blower. "Oh, Theresa won't be in the courtroom. The judge will talk to her privately in chambers." He raised his voice above the noise of the blower. "You won't even see Theresa today."

"Oh." Zack was surprised at how disappointed he was. "I don't see how a judge's chambers are much better," he said irritably. "It still seems like a hell of a thing for a little kid to have to face all alone."

"Don't worry about her," Larry said, chuckling. "I know what you're thinking, but believe me, Theresa will be okay. Judge Bergman's chambers happen to be about as depressing and intimidating as a bowlful of daffodils. And besides, she'll have Maddy with her, and probably another caseworker-"

"Maddy?" Zack halted in the middle of the courtyard beside a huge fountain inlaid with Spanish tile.

Larry checked his long stride and looked back at him, frowning at the interruption.

"Yeah, Maddy Gordon. Know her?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. We met at the pool. She's the one who told me to keep an eye on-"

"That's right. I'd forgotten." Larry snapped his fingers and took off again at his top speed-a loose-jointed lope. "Great girl… terrific with the kids. Uses puppets." He beamed at Zack over his shoulder.

Zack had to stretch some to catch up. "Yeah, I know."

Larry held the courthouse door open wide. He was trying hard to keep his expression innocent. "Let's see… How long's it been since Carol died?"

Zack threw him a look. "Two years. Why?"

All Larry would say was "Hmm," as he sprinted for the elevator. Zack caught up with him in time to squeeze through the closing doors. In silence they watched the numbers above the door light up, one by one.

"I'm giving her swimming lessons," Zack announced as the bell dinged for the fourth floor.

"Good for you," Larry murmured placidly, bolting through the door and down the hall.

Zack felt a lot better, knowing Maddy was going to be with Theresa. Larry was right-she was good with kids. He remembered the way Theresa had clung to her instinctively that day at the pool. In fact, he remembered everything about the way they'd looked together, with Theresa's great big owl-eyes peering at him, and her head just about on a level with Maddy's thighs…

Well, he was glad she was here-for Theresa's sake.

He actually managed to sustain that fiction until the moment she walked into the courtroom.

She was wearing tan slacks and a short-sleeved pink sweater, something so soft and fuzzy-looking, it made him want to cuddle it. Her hair… She really didn't wear it in any particular style, nothing faddish or trendy, anyway. It just hung there, down to where it brushed her shoulders, and when she moved, it swung with a silky ripple that reminded him of ripe wheat blowing in the wind. Everything about her made him want to touch.

"Hi, Larry," she said. She sat down next to the psychologist, then leaned across him to add in a breathy whisper, "Hi, Zack." Her cheeks were flushed and her mouth looked soft. Zack found, to his dismay, that he wanted to touch that part of her too.

She smiled at him, mercifully unaware of the images in his head, and murmured, "You've worn a tie." She seemed to want to say something else, but at that moment there was a small commotion at the back of the courtroom. Maddy glanced over her shoulder, then quickly faced front.

"That's the uncle and aunt," she said in a low voice. "Doesn't look as though they've brought counsel."

"Told you they wouldn't contest," Larry said smugly. "We'll be out of here in ten minutes."

Zack had told himself he wouldn't look at the man he'd reported for abusing a child. He'd told himself he had to stay calm and in control to make a good impression on the judge. But he couldn't help himself. The compulsion to turn his head was overpowering.

He didn't know what he'd expected. Some kind of monster, for sure. Something subhuman. He hadn't expected a perfectly ordinary-looking couple, just a couple you might run into in the supermarket, or at a PTA meeting. The man was dark, with curly hair and a receding hairline and a moustache. He wasn't a big man, but he looked fit. The woman had light brown hair cut short. She seemed nondescript, and wore a scared look that Zack thought was probably permanent. She kept looking around as if she expected something awful to pop out at her any minute. Her he could feel sorry for.

He turned back to face the judge's bench, but he wasn't seeing it. He kept seeing Theresa's face, all bruised and swollen, with that one red eye. And then, without warning, he saw something he'd thought he'd managed to banish from his memory: Josh's face, as it had looked when he'd carried him out of the pool. And then the two faces, overlaying each other…

"Zack. Are you okay?"

It was Maddy's voice, tight with concern. Her hand was on his knee. He stared at her like a person waking from a nightmare. He wanted to say something to her, to reassure her, but at that moment the bailiff intoned, "All rise…"

The present reclaimed him; the hearing had begun.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Larry asked. His grin was disgustingly cheerful, but his eyes were kind, and Zack knew he meant to be soothing.

They were back in the courtyard again, basking in welcome sunshine beside the Spanish fountain. Zack scowled at the merrily tumbling water, forgetting he'd ever touted its tranquilizing properties. "Still think you should have pressed charges," he grumbled. "That guy should be put away."

"So his wife can go on welfare?" Larry said mildly. "And the guy comes out angrier and more violent than when he went in?" His eyebrows lifted reproachfully. "Are you interested in justice or revenge, my friend? We've got the child. He'll never harm her again."

"Temporarily."

"Oh, well, that's just procedure. The permanent-custody hearing's been set-"

"For July seventh. That's only thirty days." Zack shot a look of appeal at Maddy, who seemed to be avoiding his eyes. Either that or she'd developed a sudden fascination with Spanish tile. "That doesn't seem like very much time."

"It's a little shorter than usual," Larry said, "but that's because the aunt testified that there aren't any other relatives willing and able to take in a child. The court just needs enough time to verify that fact-they don't want her in limbo any longer than necessary- and then…" Larry beamed. "Theresa's ours."

"Mine," Zack corrected him, glowering.

Larry's smile vanished. "Don't get your hopes up," he cautioned, looking grave and Lincolnesque. "As I've told you, you've either got to go talk to those people-the Sotos-and get them to agree to a private arrangement, or apply through the county. And as a single male parent…"He shrugged. "There's a long waiting list of couples ahead of you. Some of them have been waiting for years."

"Yeah, I know." Zack was frowning at Maddy, who was still steadfastly refusing to look at him. Dammit, what was wrong with her? She had to know he was trying to catch her eye!

"Where is Theresa now?" he asked softly, stubbornly keeping his gaze on Maddy's averted face.

Larry, with the kind of perceptiveness that made him such a good therapist, remained silent, so Maddy had no choice but to answer. Zack saw her shoulders rise and fall with a deeply drawn breath, as if she needed to fortify herself in order to talk to him.

"She's with a foster family," she said. "A really super family, named Frownfelter." She smiled, and added softly, "When I went to pick her up for the meeting with the judge, she was up to her elbows in peanut-butter-cookie dough."

Larry chuckled, but Zack refused to be sidetracked.

"Where is she now? How is she getting home?"

"Mr. Frownfelter picked her up and took her back. It was his lunch hour…"

Her voice trailed off. It was odd, he thought. First she hadn't seemed to want to look at him at all, and now that he'd established eye contact with her, she couldn't seem to break it. Matter of fact, neither could he.

Not that he wanted to. She had such nice eyes. Gray, rather than blue, which he decided he liked better, because they were softer. And she had very dark lashes for someone as blond as she. Of course, he knew very well that for the price of a bottle of mascara anyone could have dark eyelashes, but hers seemed too soft and too thick to be anything but real. As a matter of fact, now that he thought about it, he didn't think she put much of anything on her face. Her skin… She had really nice skin, and like everything else about her, it made him imagine how it would feel against his own.

"Well…" Larry's cough was meant to be discreet, and sounded amused. "Time to get back to work. Maddy, can I give you a ride back to the clinic?"

Maddy actually shook herself, like someone trying to wake up. "Oh. No, thanks anyway, Larry. I have my car here."

"Right. Forgot. Okay, see you back at the ranch. And you hang in there, Zack. Patience, remember." Larry went loping across the courtyard toward the parking lot. Maddy turned as if to follow, but Zack put a hand on her arm.

"See you tonight?" he asked.

"What?" She seemed flustered. It gave her a nice touch of pink across the cheekbones.

"Your next swimming lesson." His voice felt furry in his throat. "This evening, same time, same station- right?"

"Oh. Right." She cleared her throat nervously. Good grief, he thought. Was she still afraid of him? "I'll see you later, I guess…"

"Yeah, you will."

"Okay then, "bye."

" 'Bye."

Scintillating conversations they had, the two of them, Zack thought sourly as he watched her make her way carefully across the courtyard's uneven tile paving. It frustrated him that he wasn't getting to know her as fast as he wanted to. He'd thought if he could just get her away from her puppets…

It occurred to him that Theresa might have somehow gotten in the way. He didn't know why, but ever since last night, something had definitely come between him and Maddy.

Theresa. Thirty days. Damn! He had just thirty days in which to find the stomach and the self-control to go to those people-the Sotos-and persuade them to relinquish custody directly to him. Either that, he thought with amusement, or he had thirty days in which to get married and move himself up in the county adoption board's eligibility ratings.

A short, ironic laugh escaped him. The only woman he'd even thought of in those terms in two years was just escaping around a hibiscus hedge, dashing for the parking lot for all the world as if she were escaping from him. He had a feeling it would take a lot more than thirty days to bring her around to thinking along the same lines!

It sure looked as if his best bet were the aunt and uncle.

"Hey! You."

Zack looked around and muttered, "Speak of the devil," under his breath. Theresa's uncle was bulldozing his way across the courtyard toward him, with his wife clinging to his arm like a sea anchor.

"You're the guy from the pool, aren't you?" Soto said. "The swimming teacher." He managed to make the identification sound like an insult.

"Yes, I am," Zack said, proud of his calm. "And as a matter of fact, I'd like to talk to you. It's about-"

"Well, buddy, I've got a few things I'd like to say to you too. You're the guy who started this whole thing, aren't you?"

"Joe-"

"Shut up, Carleen!"

The man had shaken his wife off and was facing Zack across a few feet of tiled courtyard. His face was dark and angry, and his arms hung at his sides at the ready, like a gunfighter's.

Zack knew very well that at this point, discretion dictated a strategic withdrawal. So what did he do? He folded his arms across his chest and said very politely, "I reported it, if that's what you are making reference to."

"Look, I don't know who the hell you think you are, butting into a man's private business. I got a right to discipline a kid who smart-mouths me in my own home, you got that? You made a lot of trouble for me, you know that? I got cops hassling me, I could lose my job… Hey, I really oughta let you have it!"

"Joe!"

"Oh, now, I don't think you'd do that," Zack drawled. "I'm not a little kid."

He'd almost expected it. Hell, he'd probably invited it. But it was a shock to him anyway. He hadn't been hit in anger since fourth grade, when a kid named Hank Plunkett had bloodied his nose and given him a fat lip with one punch. It had come as a shock to him then, too, and he'd reacted reflexively. His instinctive response had left poor old Hank sitting in a puddle of water, clutching his middle and gasping like a netted fish. At that point Zack had touched his face, discovered blood, and had run for home, howling his head off.

It was interesting to discover how little had changed in twenty years.

His reflexes were still good, and his instincts for self-defense about the same. This time his assailant wound up in a fountain rather than a rain puddle, but his posture and facial expression reminded Zack a lot of Hank Plunkett. So did the sounds he was making.

At that point Zack touched his own lip, discovered blood, and decided it was time he headed on home.

The only difference twenty years made, as far as he could see, was that he wasn't howling his head off.

He did stop to mutter an apology to Theresa's aunt, who was standing frozen with shock, her mouth hanging open. He felt genuinely sorry for her. She had a tough time ahead of her if she stayed with that guy-As Zack walked to his car he wasn't feeling particularly proud of himself, but he wasn't ashamed, either. He told himself he hadn't been spoiling for a fight, and in fact had behaved with remarkable restraint. He just couldn't decide whether he was glad or sorry Maddy hadn't been there to see it.

Then it occurred to him. Damn! he thought. There went his chance for a private deal!

He gave a sardonic laugh that hurt his swelling lip, winced, and muttered, "Ouch!" And he thought, I guess this means I'll have to get married after all____________________

Zack didn't really mean that. Even if Maddy-or any other woman-had been willing, he'd never have done a thing like that to her. As far as he was concerned, there was only one good reason to marry, and that was love. He'd loved Carol, and she'd loved him, and they'd both loved Josh. He'd never marry again unless he could give that kind of wholehearted, unselfish love. A woman had a right to expect that much.

He knew why Larry Whitlaw had asked how long it had been since Carol's accident. The psychologist was telling him it was high time he stopped mourning and got on with his life. The thing was, he didn't feel as if he were still mourning, and he had an idea his life was moving right along whether he was ready for it to do so or not. Just because he wasn't actively looking for someone didn't mean he was avoiding relationships. When and if the right person came along, he was pretty sure he'd know it.

Just as he'd known that Theresa was the child for him. Not to take Josh's place-you couldn't ever replace one child with another. Kids weren't interchangeable. Until that day at the pool, when he'd squatted down in front of that tiny little girl and come face to face with those dark saucer eyes, he hadn't even realized how much he'd missed having somebody to love. Somebody who really needed him. When he met the woman he could love, maybe not exactly the same way he'd loved Carol but at least as deeply, he'd recognize her too.

He had a sudden, discomfitting vision, a memory, that was as clear as a video-taped replay: a pair of long legs, not deeply tanned, but creamy smooth; an absolutely spectacular body that looked as if it had been dipped in India ink; a face so frozen, it had lost all expression, except for the fear in the eyes…

It struck him that it would really be funny, wouldn't it, if it turned out he'd found both loves in the same moment?

Dahlia looked up suspiciously as he invaded her kitchen in search of a snack. "What are you grinning about, Zachary?" she asked.

With maturity and originality he singsonged, "I'll never tell." Still grinning, he snagged a handful of the cheese she was grating into a bowl and deftly evaded her attempt to slap his hand. "What's this for?"

"Dinner," Dahlia muttered darkly, "unless you stick that hand in here again, in which case you're going to be wearing it."

"Hmm. What's for dinner?"

"Why are you asking?"

He leaned against the counter and nibbled cheese with studied nonchalance. "Just wondered. Maddy's coming for a lesson after a while. Thought I'd ask her to stay for dinner, if there's going to be plenty…"

Dahlia threw him a look. "It's lasagne. And you know I always make enough for an army." She went back to grating cheese. "Pretty girl," she said with a sniff, giving him a sidelong glance.

"Who? Maddy?" His expression, he hoped, was one of complete innocence.

"Don't 'Who? Maddy?' me, Zachary London." Dahlia lifted an elbow in a halfhearted effort to dodge the kiss he planted on her cheek, and threatened to break into a smile. The smile vanished as she got a close look at him. "Zachary! What happened to your face? Son, what did you do?"

"Oops," Zack muttered, and put his hand over his mouth-too late. "It's nothing. Ran into a door."

"Sure, and I'm Snow White! Come here and let me look at you!"

"Come on, Dahl-"

"I said come on over here! You've been in a fight!" She put her hands on his shoulders and peered sternly into his face. "Don't you lie to me, Zachary. I raised five boys. I know a fat lip when I see one!"

"Would I lie?" Zack mumbled without conviction.

"Humph. Door, my eye! What you ran into was a fist. Now, you tell me who hit you, and why!"

Zack chuckled, then winced. "What are you going to do, go get him? As a matter of fact, it was Theresa's uncle."

"Theresa's uncle? I'm surprised he'd take a chance on hitting anything that could hit 'im back. You did hit him back, didn't you?"

"Thought you didn't approve of fighting."

"For that man I'll make an exception. You better tell me you gave him what he had coming!"

"I put him in the courthouse fountain," Zack muttered darkly.

Dahlia nodded, as if it were no more than justice. "Get along out of here and let me get my dinner made. Maddy's welcome. And you go put something on that lip."

Zack went obediently to the bathroom first, decided there wasn't much he could do about his lip, then went out to check on the pool chemicals. He tried to whistle, found it impossible to do with a fat lip, and switched to off-key humming. The gloom he'd felt earlier, during and after the hearing, had cleared away completely. So had most of the vague sense of shame he'd felt at having behaved so childishly, though he'd definitely decided punching somebody in the stomach was nothing to be proud of and was glad Maddy hadn't seen it. But in spite of all that, right now he couldn't remember having felt happier in ages.

With a small sense of shock, he realized it was because Maddy was coming.

He didn't know why that should shock him, so he leaned his arm across one knee and thought about it while pool water and chemicals dribbled out of the plastic pH tester onto his pants leg.

Of course he'd known he found her damned attractive physically. To put it bluntly, he wanted her so badly, he could taste it, and probably had ever since the day she'd fainted into his arms. And he'd already been honest enough with himself to admit that this whole swimming-lesson business was nothing more than a way to get her away from her puppets and into his bed. Not the noblest motive in the world, true, but nothing to be ashamed of, either. They were both over twenty-one. and if she liked the idea as much as he did, why not?

This thing with Theresa was confusing what should have been a simple matter of chemistry, that was the problem. It was fogging up his judgment. Since he'd become so obsessed with the idea of adopting that little girl, he'd been thinking of everything in terms of her needs, not his. If he wasn't careful, he'd be judging Maddy according to how she might fit into his plans for Theresa, and lose touch with his own feelings. He could overestimate his attraction to her just because he knew she was good with kids.

Put more bluntly, he'd actually been thinking- only half in jest-of marriage to a woman he barely knew, because he figured she'd be a good mother for Theresa, and would therefore make him more acceptable to the adoption board!

Zack blew a silent whistle and shook his head. The thing to do, he thought as he packed up the test kit and got to his feet, was to make darn sure that from now on he separated the two. Theresa was important to him, but she was only one part of his life. Maddy-or any other woman he might happen to be interested in-was another. He didn't know yet just how important Maddy was going to become to him, but he intended to give himself a chance to find out. Starting tonight.

He finished cleaning the pool, and even swept a few stray leaves off the deck before going back inside. The smell of baking lasagne was already beginning to drift down to the basement room. Zack paused to frown at the clutter on the coffee table. Sure didn't look very inviting, and not at all romantic. Dahlia wouldn't touch this room, and he didn't blame her. The housecleaning service gave it a good going-over once a week, and he wasn't a kid, that he should have to be picked up after.

He glanced at his watch. Maddy would be here any minute. He didn't have time to do much, but he did what he could, gathering up newspapers and stuffing them into the overflowing trash, putting all the magazines in the closet, where they cascaded into and over Carol's golf bag and onto the pile of towels and bathing suits on the floor. He gave the tabletop a hasty wipe with a sweatshirt he found behind a couch cushion, and stood back to survey the setting dubiously.

Should he light a fire in the fireplace? It was June- might seem too obvious. On the other hand, they'd both be wet when they got out of the pool, and June nights were always cool. What the heck. They'd both appreciate a nice fire.

That done, he thought maybe he ought to put some place mats or something on the coffee table. Open a bottle of wine. Find some candles.

Now, that would be too obvious. But it made a seductive picture in his imagination, firelight and candle glow shining in soft gray eyes and even softer hair. Full lips, tasting of wine…

Zack grinned at his own erotic fantasies. He was really getting into this! And finding it fun, after so long in emotional hibernation. Exciting, and stimulating in ways he'd almost forgotten.

He actually jumped when he heard the doorbell. Shouting, "I'll get it, Dahl," he went bounding up the stairs, feeling younger and lighter than he had in years. When he opened the door he was already smiling.

It took him a couple of beats to realize that Maddy wasn't alone. He was focused on her, and her eyes were so luminous, her smile so shy, but somehow full of anticipation, as if she had a wonderful surprise for him.

And boy, did she ever. Clinging to Maddy's hand and gazing solemnly up at him with those saucer eyes of hers was Theresa.