Tangle of Need

Chapter 9

SIENNA ADORED BEING mated to Hawke. Living with him, however, she thought as the hands of her antique clock flicked over to seven a.m., was taking some adjustment. It wasn’t that she wasn’t used to cohabiting with others—since her defection from the ice of the PsyNet, she’d lived primarily with Walker and the kids. It was the fact that Hawke was so dominant, he tended to take over all available space simply by breathing.

“This is mine,” she said, staking a claim on seventy-five percent of the closet. It had been only last week that they’d had the chance to transfer the majority of her things to Hawke’s quarters, they’d both been so busy with other duties in the aftermath of the battle with Pure Psy. “You can have this section.”

He shrugged those glorious shoulders and put down his mug on top of the small set of shelves that had once stood beside the door to her single-occupancy room, the scent of his coffee rich and evocative. “Okay.”

Fine, she admitted in a grumpy internal mutter, that hadn’t exactly been a big battle. Her gorgeous, maddening mate lived in T-shirts and jeans—though when he did put on a suit … the word was “delectable.” “Also,” she said, refusing to be derailed from her bad mood, “stop stealing my coffee.” It was a special blend Drew always brought back for her from a very specific shop in San Diego.

Hawke grinned and took another sip before returning the mug—gifted to him by Marlee, after her niece had painted a somewhat wolflike creature on the ceramic—to its resting spot. “It’s good coffee.” Stripping off the sweatpants he’d put on after his shower, he pulled on some jeans, his lips curving in a smile that made her breath catch. “You look good in my T-shirt.”

Groaning, she sat down on the bed, resisting the temptation to walk over and rub her cheek against the soft pelt of hair that covered his chest, her need for him a gut-deep pulse. “I sound demented.” Shrewish and spoiled. “Of course you can have the coffee.” She’d made enough for two, was utterly delighted by the fact he enjoyed the way she brewed it.

He waited for her to make it every morning, always kissed the curve of her neck in thanks. The same way she waited for him to slice the bread he picked up a couple of times a week from a bakery just outside den territory, when she could as easily do the task herself. Little rituals. Little pieces of their lives. The idea that they were laying the foundations of their shared history … it made her so happy it hurt. Which was why she was bewildered by her fit of temper. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Hey.” Expression suddenly solemn, he came down on his haunches in front of her, his jeans only partly buttoned and all distracting. “I know what’s happening.”

She raised her eyes from his chest—and lower—to his face. “You do?”

“Yeah, baby, I do.” A sheepish look. “I’m crowding you, pushing you, even in our quarters, but I swear I’m not doing it on purpose.”

She had zero resistance against him when he got like this, when she could see both man and wolf watching her with a tenderness that quite simply, undid her. Closing her hands over the warm silk of his shoulders, she stroked and petted until a lazy growl rumbled in his chest. “I’m glad,” she said. “I’d hate it if you were holding back with me.”

“Impossible.” He angled his neck in a silent request, and she gently massaged a spot that would’ve made him purr had he been a cat.

Mine.

The possessive thought was familiar—Hawke brought out her most primitive instincts. “Just so you know, when I get really mad, I might singe your eyebrows,” she murmured, because she knew if she gave an inch, he’d take not a mile, but the entire road.

“Fine.” Lashes lifting, he curved his hand around her neck to tug her down. “Then we can kiss and make up. Twice.”

She laughed into the slow, deep seduction of his kiss, her breasts tightening against the soft cotton of the T-shirt she’d grabbed when she woke—the whole idea of a nightgown or pajamas was ridiculous with an alpha wolf in bed with her. Nothing ever stayed on. Half the time, the nightclothes ended up shredded. So now she just stole his T-shirts when she woke. He, of course, was pure changeling, had no problem with nudity.

Not that she minded the view.

Breaking the kiss to take a breath, she brushed back the damp thickness of his hair, her thighs spread on either side of his body, his hands warm and possessive below the hem of the T-shirt. “What do you have planned today?” she asked, her heart wrenching at the perfection of this moment where she had the right to touch him, to care for him, to call him her own.

He nipped at her fingers before answering, the wolf playing with her. “I think I’ll spend most of the day with Felix and his team.”

She couldn’t help her instinctive flinch at the memory of exactly how the area being replanted had become so barren, every tiny blade of grass turned to ash.

Hawke’s response was to bite sharply at her lower lip. “I told you not to do that.”

Scowling, she rubbed at the sting. “I’m allowed to think about what I did.”

“What you did was save the lives of your packmates.” Tugging her close, he suckled the spot he’d bitten, soothing the momentary hurt. “That’s what counts.”

“I’m not sorry I did what I did.” It had been a choice made in battle, against an enemy that wouldn’t stop. No matter how many years she lived, she would never forget the crunching, ugly sound of a hundred guns smashing into the skulls of dazed and wounded SnowDancers. Her act had been the right one at that time, in that place. “It’s just…” She’d annihilated the Pure Psy army, killed so many men and women who’d had the misfortune to pick the wrong side.

Her wolf held her gaze. “Talk to me.”

So she did. And he listened. He understood. Until she could breathe again, her chest expanding with each inhale. It wasn’t the first time they’d spoken of that terrible day, neither would it be the last—but knowing that he’d be there anytime she needed him, it was everything.

“Any other plans for the day?” she asked afterward, fixing his hair because she loved playing with it … and because touching Hawke calmed her on the deepest level, until sometimes, when the memories hit too hard, he simply shifted and allowed her to pet the huge silver-gold wolf that was the other half of his nature, as long as she needed.

“I’ll take Harley down with me,” he said, arching his neck when she ran her nails over his scalp the way he liked. “It’ll give me an opportunity to see how he’s developing.” Another pleasured growl, his hands flexing against her skin.

Her mate made her so damn glad she was a woman. “Has he stabilized?” The young male was shaping up to be a powerful dominant.

“He’s getting there. Boy’s got a strong will.” He squeezed her thighs with those hands she’d felt on every inch of her body. “Like someone else I know.”

“Remember that.”

“That’s why the wolf pushes you,” he said, pressing a kiss to the inside of her knee that made her shiver. “Wolf and man both know you’ll push back. It’d be no fun if you were a weakling.”

Seduced, she was being utterly seduced by a wolf who knew her far too well. “The thing with the maternal females?” They hadn’t had a chance to talk much the previous night, the dinner going later than expected. Given the people around the table, it was unsurprising the talk had turned to the increasing instability of the PsyNet.

Judd had disappeared around ten, heading for a meeting with his contacts, so it was likely he’d have more data to share with Hawke today. After he did, Sienna knew Hawke would make it a point to talk the information over with her—a true alpha pair needed to forge a trust that ran deeper than sensuality, than the mating bond. It had to encompass the very heart of what it took to keep SnowDancer strong. “You survived the meeting at least.”

Hawke’s groan was eloquent. “I have a headache just thinking about it. Ask me again after sex and I might have the will to talk about it.”

She laughed. “Nice to know I’m not the only one scared by Nell.”

“Nothing scares me, least of all a woman who is maybe all of a hundred-and-ten pounds and happens to be three years my junior.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Narrowed wolf eyes. “Smart-asses get their comeuppance.” Stroking his hands up under the edge of the T-shirt, he ran his thumbs over the sensitive crease of her thighs, smiled a very wolfish smile at the tremor that shook her. “You were quiet when we were discussing the mating ceremony last night.”

Playing with the hair at his nape, she bit the inside of her lip. “I wish we’d done it earlier.” They’d decided to wait until things calmed a little and all the evacuated children had settled back into the den, but the delay had caused her nerves to fray. “It’ll be the first Pack event since…” Since everyone had discovered what she could do, what she was. “Maybe we should do it together with Walker and Lara’s ceremony,” she said, though she knew it was too late, the celebration only days away.

“Each ceremony is unique and suited to the couple.” Hawke bracketed her face in his hands, and she knew he understood what she didn’t say. “They want a quieter affair.”

And he was alpha, the ceremony celebrating his mating one of the biggest events to be held in the den in recent memory. Every packmate, young and old, wanted to contribute, to be part of the festivities, and Sienna wasn’t going to cheat them of that—not even if she wanted to hide in a corner and hope no one would notice her.

Hawke pressed a finger to her lips before she could speak. “I told you, baby, we’re wolves.” Wild affection, the endearment one he used with her alone. “We respect strength.”

“I’m only a soldier.” Hierarchy was a critical component of the pack’s stability—and their relationship fell outside of it. Never would she give it up, but the impact of it on the pack still worried her at times. “Young and inexperienced.”

“It isn’t always about age or experience,” Hawke said, eyes of husky blue holding her captive. “Maybe you’ll have to earn your stripes when it comes to your personal dominance, but you’ve already got their loyalty—because you gave the pack your own, laid your life on the line to protect. That’s what matters.”

Curling her arms around his shoulders, she leaned into his embrace. He hugged her close, stroking a big hand down her back. No one in the pack had said or done anything to make her feel unwelcome after the battle, it was true. There had been more than a few smiles thrown her way and the teasing they received as a newly mated couple was merciless, but—“Some people are scared of me,” she whispered.

Hawke chuckled. “Baby, most people are scared of me.” He nuzzled a kiss into her neck. “It goes with the territory.”

RIAZ ducked his head into Hawke’s office the morning after his confrontation with Adria, but found the alpha missing. “Riley,” he called out, running to catch up to the lieutenant. “You seen Hawke?”

“He’s gone to join Felix’s team.” Riley glanced at the small datapad in his hand. “No set time for returning to the den—try him on his sat phone.”

“No, I think I’ll run down and pitch in.” Hard, manual labor would be good for him. He was strung tight from the primal fury that had raged through his body in the midnight hours. And it wasn’t Lisette’s face that had haunted him. Not last night.

“Felix says the ground is perfect for planting, as if it had been fertilized.” Riley’s eyes were intent. “He’s never seen anything like it. I guess none of us have.”

No, nothing had ever come close to the deadly beauty of Sienna’s cold fire. “I know she’s young,” Riaz said, remembering not just the red-gold glow of that voracious flame but also the screams that had come before, the sickening crunches of bone as SnowDancer after SnowDancer fell, bloody and broken. “But anyone who can control that much power has my respect.”

Riley’s response was unexpected. “Make sure you share that view with packmates when the opportunity rises.”

“Trouble?” He hadn’t sensed anything, but he wasn’t as connected to the heartbeat of the den as Riley. Based here his entire life, the senior lieutenant was not only an anchor for his packmates, Hawke included, he was also a man trusted by everyone from hard-eyed soldiers and busy maternals, to rebellious juveniles, and elders.

“No,” the other male now said. “But the battle was the first time most of the pack became aware of what Judd and Sienna can do. Right now, everyone’s high from the success, but once the adrenaline fades and they start to think about it—”

“—people will begin to realize exactly how dangerous those two are.” Riaz nodded, seeing where Riley was headed. “We need to bolster that good feeling now, so even when the high wears off, everyone will continue to see them as strong packmates who’ll use their strength to protect the weak, not Psy they need to be wary of.” Wolves might be predators, but the majority weren’t dominants. SnowDancer’s most vulnerable members would be all but helpless against the kind of power wielded by Judd and Sienna, and, though most people didn’t realize the strength of his telepathy, Walker.

“Yes.” Riley kept his voice low as they spoke. “I’m probably being overcautious, but”—a rueful smile—“that’s why they pay me the big bucks.”

“No, you’re right. Better to subtly reassure everyone now, when they’re already predisposed to love the Laurens, rather than later, after fear’s crept into the fold.” He made a note to have some quiet, casual conversations with certain people. “You need me for anything today? If not, I’ll head down to join the planting team now.” He needed to do something physical—his skin felt stretched too tight, too thin over the raging need of his body.

It had never been this bad. As a lone wolf, he was predisposed to periods of solitude that would drive his packmates crazy, and could last even longer without touch. He hadn’t been with anyone for roughly four months when he’d met Lisette six months ago and felt that stunning, indescribable kick to the gut that was the instinctive knowledge of his mate.

Intellectually, he’d understood that while it wasn’t common, it could happen in such a way—that a wolf could turn around and just know a woman was meant to be his own, without ever having spoken to her, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the impact of that moment. Every cell in his body had sung at the nearness of Lisette’s presence, his senses utterly attuned to her, his body vibrating with the realization that it was her. More than a lover, more than a friend, a mate was meant to be a changeling wolf’s other half and he’d found his.

The soul-savaging fact that she belonged to another … it might’ve stopped the mate bond coming into being, but it did nothing to quiet the mating urge that had gripped him in sharp teeth and held on tight. Deeply intertwined with that urge was a promise so primal, he’d never before given it any thought … a promise of fidelity: A wolf who found his mate only ever shared intimate skin privileges with her.

That promise came from so deep in his wolf’s heart that regardless of the fact Lisette would never be his, he’d been unable to bear the thought of any other woman’s touch, his gut roiling. As a result, it had been close to a year since he’d shared intimate skin privileges—a long time for even a lone wolf, especially a dominant, but he’d had a grip on it. The lack of contact had hurt at times, but it hadn’t been all-encompassing, threatening to blind him.

Then had come Adria and the constant prickle across his skin, the irritation he hadn’t understood until she’d pushed him to ignition point. His cock hardened at the memory of her coming so wild and hot around his fingers, the ice and crushed berries of her scent intermingled with a dark feminine musk that had acted like a drug on his senses. She’d been right in the clearing. Now that he’d come face-to-face with the vicious lust that had driven his response to her from the start, he couldn’t undo it, couldn’t go back to a time when he didn’t want her, the echo of their explosive encounter taunting him in his dreams.

“Go for it.” Riley’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Felix needs as many warm bodies as he can get.” He pulled up a file on his datapad. “Grab some juveniles on your way down.” A pause. “The males. It’ll keep the maternals happy and make the boys too tired to get into trouble.”

A sudden memory made Riaz grin. “Remember that time Hawke, Coop, you, and I got caught with those films?”