Tangle of Need

Chapter 5

ADRIA DIDN’T KNOW how she’d survived the rest of the trip up to the hydro station; the silence in the SUV had been excruciating. The journey down, the mountains bathed in the gentle afternoon sunlight, was better—she chose to ride in Mack’s vehicle, having been able to fix the problem that had stalled it. Her excuse about needing to be with him in case the truck broke down again was accepted without question. Mack’s trainee rode with Riaz, and Mack, with his silver-threaded curls and skin of warm brown marked by quiet laugh lines, was a man comfortable with silences.

Back in the den, she didn’t stop until she was in her quarters with the door safely shut. Only then did she collapse on the bed. “Christ, Adria.” Shaking from the impact of a day that had spiraled out of control from the instant she’d run into Riaz, she just sat there, trying to get a grip on her emotions.

The knock on the door was familiar, but she ignored it. Her visitor persisted, having obviously scented her presence, until she muttered, “It’s open.”

Indigo, dressed in jeans paired with a plain white tee that flattered the curves of her tall body, closed the door and leaned back on it. “Hurts me to say this, Ri, but you look worse than you did after you caught the plague when you were seventeen.”

The “plague” had been a nasty case of food poisoning. “Thanks for the pick-me-up.” She scowled at the woman who had been her friend most of her life. “Now go away.”

Rolling her eyes, Indigo strode across the room to sit beside her instead. “Martin’s not been hassling you, has he?”

“No. I made it clear we were done.” He hadn’t taken the news with any grace, all traces of the funny, gentle man she’d fallen for corroded to nothingness by years of slow bitterness. But Martin wasn’t the male on her mind right then. “You had a thing with Riaz, right?”

Indigo blinked at the blunt question. “Yes, but years ago, well before he left for Europe. We were friends.”

It wasn’t such a strange thing to hear from a changeling. Sharing intimate skin privileges was an integral part of their nature, and there was nothing wrong with being with a friend who cared enough about you to ensure your pleasure. It didn’t matter if the lovers knew their friendship would never lead to a relationship—friendship was a precious thing to a wolf, to be cherished on its own merits.

Indigo nudged at her when she didn’t continue, her namesake eyes perceptive. “Riaz?”

“Yeah.” Knowing no further explanation was needed, she shoved her hands through her hair, messing up her braid. “It’s weird. You’re my niece.”

Indigo made a distinctly inelegant sound. “Please. We grew up as sisters.”

“Even worse.”

“Would you cut that out?” A sharp elbow to the ribs. “Everything else aside, we happen to be two dominant women in one pack with a bare few years between us—the only surprise is that we didn’t cross paths with the same man before now.”

In spite of the fact she was the one who’d brought it up, Adria’s wolf was sanguine about a past long gone. The human part of her, too, knew that Indigo and Riaz’s old relationship had no bearing on the present situation, not given the time that had passed and their complete lack of interest in one another now. It would’ve just made it easier to hide from the turbulence of her own emotions if it had been an issue.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Indigo.” No man had ever incited her to behave as she had today. “I almost attacked him.” She’d wanted to rip his clothes off, shove him to the ground, taste every inch of his bronzed skin with her lips. “I drew blood.” The taste of iron, metallic and distinctive, had been hot, strong … exhilarating.

Indigo’s laugh was affectionate. “That’s fairly normal when a female wolf is as on edge as you’ve been.” A playful waggle of her eyebrows. “Long time?”

“A year,” she said and knew exactly when Indigo understood the ramifications of her statement, because she seemed to stop breathing for a second.

“So, when you and Martin came to the dinner to meet Drew…”

“I’d ended it months earlier.” The flash of hurt in Indigo’s eyes had her nudging the other woman’s shoulder in a silent apology. “I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone—needed to get my head on straight.” When Indigo squeezed her hand, she continued. “I’m not proud to admit it, but I used him when I ‘gave in’ to his persistent efforts to win me back and asked him to come along that night.”

It hadn’t taken Martin long to realize the invitation didn’t equal one to her bed or to her life, and he’d been in an ugly temper by the time they’d arrived. Feeling guilty for having consciously misled the man who had once walked by her side, she’d tried to reach out, pacify him.

His response had, for a single painful second, returned her to the ruins of their relationship, before it hardened her resolve. “I thought you were making a horrible mistake.” The realization that Indigo was seeing a man whose dominance didn’t match Indigo’s own, had chilled her blood.

“And you wanted me confronted with the results.”

“I’m so sorry.” It had to be said, because Drew was nothing, nothing like Martin, his adoration of his “Indy’s” strength open.

“I understand.” Indigo’s response was fierce. “You won’t have any of those problems with Riaz. He’s strong enough not to be scared of your hunger, and”—a smile that lit up her eyes—“he’s got enough wildness in him to lead you astray.”

Most lone wolves did. As a young woman, Adria had always steered clear of them, aware that while such a male might make love to her with primal intensity, he was as likely to disappear into the mountains come morning. She’d always known she needed someone more stable, more rooted. But things had changed. She had changed. “You’re not saying something.” Adria knew Indigo too well not to have caught the subtle hesitation.

The other woman took a long time to reply, her expression troubled. “He told me something in confidence, and I can’t break that promise,” she said at last. “But Adria, you need to know … any relationship with him, even more than with another lone wolf, is unlikely to ever turn permanent.”

The fact that Indigo hadn’t flat out warned Adria off, told her it wasn’t a case of Riaz already being involved with someone else. Which either meant he played the field—and nothing she’d heard indicated that—or he wanted someone he couldn’t have. Though Indigo couldn’t know it, that realization eased the cold knot inside Adria, allowed her to breathe, come to a decision.

“I need to talk to him.” Wolf and woman in agreement, she rose to her feet. “We left things in a bad place.” No matter what happened, she didn’t want this to affect their working relationship, and by extension, the pack.

Waiting until she’d redone her braid, Indigo walked out with her. “Are you enjoying being back in the den?” she asked, reaching back to tighten her own ponytail.

“So much.” Adria narrowed her eyes at Tai when the young soldier with uptilted green eyes and wide shoulders walked down the corridor.

“God hates me,” she heard him mutter. “Now there are two of them.”

Neither she nor Indigo said anything until he was out of earshot. Then Indigo’s lips twitched. “Poor baby.” Affection laced the words.

“He’s solid?”

“Loves Evie.” Wolfish amusement danced in her eyes. “Doesn’t mean we don’t get to mess with him.”

Since Evie was gentle and in no way dominant or aggressive, Adria agreed. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said, returning to their earlier topic of conversation, “Matthias is a great lieutenant to work under.” Darkly beautiful and with those eyes that had talked many a woman into bed, Matthias had been a friend as well as her lieutenant.

He’d called to check up on her a couple of times since she’d relocated to the den, and it was a measure of her trust in, and respect for him that she hadn’t bristled. “But that region’s got too many bad memories for me, you know? Den’s a fresh start.” One she’d allow nothing, not even the hot burn of a shocking need, to steal from her.

“Here’s my stop.” Indigo halted in front of one of the break rooms. “Having an informal chat with some of my novices and newer soldiers.” She raised an eyebrow at the young woman who was all but crawling down the hall. “What happened to you?”

“Riaz the Sadist’s new configuration of the training run is an excuse for heinous and unparalleled torture,” Sienna muttered before nodding hello at Adria and limping inside—to a chorus of sympathetic groans from others who’d obviously been subjected to the same torture.

Indigo hung back, her eyes returning to Adria. “Remember what I said.” Open concern on her face … tempered by a glint of wickedness. “But don’t be too sensible. Claws and teeth are part of the fun.”

Adria’s grin faded as soon as Indigo walked in to join her soldiers. Martin had been the biggest chance she’d ever taken in her life, overriding the concerns of those who didn’t think the dominant female/less dominant male pairing had a hope of working. The spectacular failure of that risk had savaged her confidence, until sometimes she felt as if the core of her was a patchwork quilt, the stitches barely holding.

It would be easy, so easy, to stay “safe,” to never again stick out her neck, but Adria was a dominant, a SnowDancer. She was not a coward, and would never shame her wolf by allowing herself to become one. Even if that meant she had to go claw to claw against a lone wolf who was nothing she’d ever wanted in a man—and who compelled her beyond reason.