What Would Mr. Darcy Do?

Chapter 5

As soon as the gentlemen had taken their leave, Elizabeth, feeling quite unequal to any discussion regarding Darcy that might arise between her family members, took the opportunity to retire to her room to be alone with her thoughts. She was unsurprised, however, to hear a knock on the door heralding the arrival of Jane, full of concern for her well-being.

“Lizzy,” said Jane, taking her hand, “what happened? Please, tell me all about it.”

Elizabeth surprised herself and her sister by bursting into tears.

“Oh, Lizzy. I am so sorry. I hope he was not too cruel.”

“No, he was not cruel. He said everything I could hope he would say. He was charming and solicitous…”

Jane, more than puzzled over her sister’s distress, asked, “Did he renew his addresses?” In response to her sister’s slight nod, she added, “And did you accept him?”

“I told him I needed time.”

“Lizzy, why? Why not just accept him? You love him, I know you do!”

“Because, Jane, I do not have your touching faith in everyone’s goodness, and I have learned to my chagrin that my judgments of people are not as accurate as I had always thought. I misjudged Darcy badly in the past in many ways. Now I am judging that he has changed greatly in regard to his pride, but I am choosing to believe this based on the evidence of five conversations. Five, Jane! Given my history of misjudgment, should I base my future happiness on what may be no more than a temporary aberration and a great deal of wishful thinking on my part? My heart wants to accept him, but my head tells me to be cautious.”

“Bingley has known him and trusted him for years, Lizzy. That cannot count for nothing.”

“I know, and Miss Darcy believes him to be the finest brother in the world, but I need evidence of my own.”

“So you told him you needed time. Then what happened?”

Elizabeth, with a teary smile, said, “Then we progressed from behaving badly to behaving disgracefully, and then we had a fight over who was most at fault for it. Jane, you must never leave us alone together—we cannot be trusted.”

“Dearest Lizzy, of course, if that is what you wish. But did you part well?”

“Yes, except for the stress of knowing that we both could think of very little apart from how much we wished for the privacy to disgrace ourselves yet again! Oh, Jane, how do you and Bingley survive this longing and look so happy all the time? This is agony!”

Jane smiled gently. “The agony was all in the waiting and wondering for me. Perhaps, once you and Darcy have settled this between yourselves, it will be easier.”

“And have you nothing to say of my behavior?”

“I am… surprised, but I do recognize that Darcy is a man who is violently in love, and I would imagine that he could be quite persuasive.”

“Jane, you are too good for the rest of us!”

The comfort that Jane was able to offer allowed Elizabeth to face the rest of the day with tolerable composure, though her thoughts were continually at Netherfield, and sleep did not come easily that night.

Elizabeth awoke the next morning to the same thoughts and meditations which had at length closed her eyes. It was impossible to think of anything else but Darcy, and, after some period of being totally indisposed to employment, decided to start embroidering a new handkerchief with a pattern of intertwining forget-me-nots and sweet williams.

It was a relief when at last the gentlemen arrived. Bingley proposed their all walking out; it was agreed to, but Mary could not spare the time, and Kitty owned she was not much for walking. This plan being of eminent satisfaction to the four remaining walkers, they set out immediately.

Bingley and Jane soon tactfully lagged behind somewhat, allowing Elizabeth and Darcy to entertain each other. Elizabeth, with a sly glance at Darcy, informed him Jane was prepared to provide chaperonage for them, which engaged more laughter from him than she anticipated.

“You did not hear Bingley’s original plan for the day,” he said with great amusement. “He suggested—being tolerably well acquainted with how things stand for me—that we invite you and Jane to dine at Netherfield today, with the intent you and I could chaperone them, but in fact allow some small degree of privacy.”

“Pray, how did you respond to this proposition, sir?”

“It is perhaps wisest for that to remain between Bingley and me,” he replied, then, in response to a stern look from his companion, added, “But if you must know, I told him that I thought his plan to be ill-advised, in that it might lead to me reaching the altar before he did.”

“Mr. Darcy!”

“So it is my expectation that Bingley will be keeping a close eye on us as well. I do seem to need all the help I can get in that regard,” he said, continuing the banter. “But I hope your information did not give your sister an overly poor impression of me.”

“Jane is constitutionally unable to think ill of anyone, and since you, sir, have already demonstrated your fine sensibilities in your choice of both Bingley and myself as favored companions, your place in her esteem is, I believe, quite secure.”

“Well, if that is the case, perhaps I can afford to take a few risks.” He turned and called back to his friend, “Bingley—the view behind us is most pleasant. You must show it to Miss Bennet.”

As Elizabeth turned as well to see what he was pointing out, Darcy took advantage of the distraction of the other couple to steal a light but lingering kiss. “I never said Bingley would be a particularly good chaperone,” he said with some satisfaction. “He has too much sympathy with my position.”

“I hope you are aware that Jane does not,” she replied, and, noting the continued inattention from their companions, very daringly reached up and brushed her lips against his.

His eyes darkened in response. “You are fortunate, Miss Bennet, in that I am sure our fine chaperones would intervene if I were to make the response I would wish to that.”

Elizabeth laughed, and allowed her hand to slip lightly into his as they walked on. A few moments later, Jane called in a disapproving voice, “Elizabeth!”

Reluctantly, Darcy released her hand, saying, “I see you were correct, and she indeed has no sympathy whatsoever!”

“None, indeed,” she replied. “Jane is far too good for the rest of us.”

“I have been thinking,” he said a few minutes later, “that when I return for Bingley’s wedding, it is likely to be far more difficult to conceal my interest in you from your family, especially with my sister present.”

“Not to mention the apparent likelihood of being caught in some compromising situation or other,” she said demurely. “I did mention to Miss Darcy in my last letter that my parents think of you as only an indifferent acquaintance of mine, and that it would be best at present not to challenge that idea.”

“Be that as it may, I would like to ask in all seriousness if you would object if, after my arrival for the wedding, I were to speak to your father regarding my intentions, with the understanding that I do not as yet have your consent.”

Elizabeth was silent for a few moments as many feelings coursed through her. “I do not object, sir,” she responded quietly.

“Do you approve?” There was a thread of tension in his voice.

She looked up to meet his intent gaze. “Yes, I approve. Perhaps you might tell him that we have… an understanding.”

“Elizabeth,” he breathed, his eyes drifting to her lips. Her pulses pounded in a now familiar sensation, and she found herself longing for the relief that only his touch could bring.

With a muttered curse, he glanced behind them, then drew her over into a copse of trees by the side of the path. “I make no apologies,” he said in a low voice as he pulled her into his arms.

Secure in the knowledge that they would be shortly interrupted, Elizabeth allowed herself to slip her arms around his neck and abandon herself to the pleasure of his kisses. Tangling her fingers in his hair, she gasped as he drew a line of kisses along her cheek and down her neck before reclaiming her mouth once more with an urgency that stirred her beyond her imaginings.

“Elizabeth!” Jane cried. Reluctantly, they separated, and Elizabeth’s guilty look and Darcy’s unrepentant one met Jane’s stern glare and Bingley’s frankly delighted gaze. “I think it would be best if we all walked together.”

As they meekly followed her sister, Darcy whispered in her ear, “If that was an example of what I have to look forward to with you, sweetest Elizabeth, I shall be a very happy man indeed.” Elizabeth blushed furiously.

Darcy had promised to stop by Longbourn briefly to take his leave before his departure for Pemberley the following day, which provided a ray of hope for Elizabeth, who was already anticipating missing him. When he arrived, though, it became immediately clear there would be no opportunity for private conversation, as her mother insisted on commanding her attention for wedding plans. They were able to exchange a few heartfelt glances across the room, but no more. She still reserved hope for the moment of his departure, and was not the only one thinking of this; Bingley, when the moment came, announced himself to be too critical to the current discussion to break off, and perhaps Miss Elizabeth could see his guest to his carriage on his behalf.

Taking care to look none too anxious to perform this task, she walked out into the hallway, followed by Darcy, who managed to find the briefest moment between their departure from the drawing room and the opening of the front door to press something into Elizabeth’s hand. Then they were outside, in the presence of Darcy’s footman and coachman, who stood with their eyes carefully averted as their master took his time kissing Miss Bennet’s hand and thanking her for her most gracious hospitality while looking deeply into her eyes. She, in turn, assured him gravely of her hopes she would enjoy his company again soon. With one long parting look, he entered the carriage and was off. Elizabeth watched until it vanished from sight, trying to ignore the pricking of tears in her eyes, then, with a sigh, returned to the house. She paused inside just long enough to ascertain that what Darcy had given her was a paper, folded small, and she tucked it into her pocket for later perusal before returning to the drawing room.

After a certain amount of time spent entertaining Mr. Bingley and her family with a decidedly cheerful countenance, Elizabeth deemed it acceptable to retire to the safety of her room, where she at last was able to inspect the paper Darcy had given her.

So shall I be until we meet again, my dearest Elizabeth, for you shall be my constant companion in thought, until I can be once more in your most beloved presence. Till then, I remain, as always, yours in every way,

FD

Elizabeth, with deep feeling, pressed this missive to her breast, and it was some time before she could find the resolve to fold it up and secret it away in a drawer.

Had Elizabeth been aware of the exact time planned for Darcy’s return to Hertfordshire, she would certainly have been counting the days, but as it was, she only knew that the next few weeks would be much longer than she would wish. She attempted, to the extent possible, to distract her mind with activity. When she found herself wakeful at night, she used the time to continue embroidering the handkerchief she intended for Darcy. During the day she spent a good deal of time in Jane’s company, where she did not feel it necessary to pretend to a false cheerfulness.

She continued to be distressed by evidence of her family’s dislike for Darcy. Her mother, while planning a dinner for Bingley, mentioned that at least it would be a more pleasant occasion since that proud, disagreeable Darcy would not be there, and Elizabeth was further troubled to find her father in rare agreement with her mother.

Jane glanced at Elizabeth, and said, “I quite like Mr. Darcy. He can be very charming, and as a close friend of my dear Bingley’s, I am sure that I have nothing but good to say of him.”

“Of course, you must like him, Jane, since he is Bingley’s friend,” responded Mr. Bennet, “but pray give the rest of us leave to dislike the man.”

“Have you forgotten how he slighted Lizzy, and all his insufferable pride?” cried Mrs. Bennet. “Why Lizzy saw fit to invite his sister to visit is quite beyond my comprehension.”

Elizabeth, who was beginning to wonder the same thing for a very different reason, ventured, “I have no quarrel with Mr. Darcy, and Miss Darcy is a very sweet girl. Do not forget that if she takes a liking to Mary and Kitty, she may well be able to put them in the way of some very wealthy men.”

Mrs. Bennet, who had not thought of this most attractive prospect, cried, “Of course, what an excellent thought! Lizzy, do not forget she may be able to assist you in that regard, as well. You are not getting any younger, you know!”

Her daughter struggled hard not to smile as she said, “Perhaps, if I am truly fortunate, Miss Darcy might even have someone in mind for me already.”

Although reassured Georgiana would receive a pleasant, if possibly overcivil, reception from her family, Elizabeth was nonetheless troubled by her parents’ reaction to Darcy. She suspected the prospect of a son-in-law with all his wealth and grandeur would be enough to overcome her mother’s abhorrence of the man, but she feared her father would be distressed by her choice. This unpleasant reflection eventually led her to solicit Jane, who was soon to go to London to make the final arrangements for her trousseau, to speak with the Gardiners requesting their support in improving Darcy’s reputation with her parents.

Jane’s departure, however, left Elizabeth without a confidante, an unhappy position she hoped would be relieved by the upcoming arrival of Miss Darcy, who would no doubt be more than happy to discourse with her on the subject of her brother. In the meantime, she made every effort to absent herself from her family when possible by means of long walks and errands in Meryton.

One day, after a return from such an expedition, she arrived home to the news that her mother had yet again confined herself to her rooms with a fit of nerves, and all Elizabeth’s requests for information regarding the source of the crisis resulted in either giggles from Kitty or judgmental looks from Mary. Finally, with some exasperation, she went to the library to apply to her father regarding the matter.

“Ah, Lizzy, you are precisely the person I need to see. Please sit down,” he greeted her.

“I was hoping, sir, you could explain to me what has led to my mother’s distress in this latest instance.”

“An interesting question, since you seem to be very much at the center of this,” he said, and in response to Elizabeth’s raised eyebrow, continued, “Apparently Hill, while cleaning your room today, made a certain discovery, which, then being represented to your mother, led to further search and further discovery. This in turn led to your mother’s attack of nerves, and the job falling to me to inquire about the presence of certain items in your room.”

Elizabeth’s mind jumped immediately to Darcy’s letters, and she felt a surge of anxiety that the long-delayed discussion was about to occur. “Which items do you have in mind, sir?”

Mr. Bennet produced Darcy’s handkerchief and most recent note. Laying them down in front of her, he proceeded to drum his fingers lightly on his desk while watching her closely.

She found herself wishing desperately Darcy were beside her, or at Netherfield, and if not Darcy, at least Jane. She hated to see her father disappointed in her, his favorite child, but even for him, she was not prepared to forswear Darcy.

“Now, what am I to make of these?” he asked finally.

Elizabeth reverted to the use of her wit. “I have an admirer with excellent taste in poetry and a preference for fine linen.”

Her father’s lips twitched. “Perhaps, Lizzy, you would care to enlighten me somewhat further regarding this mysterious gentleman with the initials of FD.”

Recalling with a start that Darcy signed the letter only with his initials, she debated with herself whether her father was in fact perfectly aware of his identity, or was truly in ignorance. Perhaps he considered Darcy such an unlikely candidate for her affections as not to be on a list of possibilities. If it were at all possible, she would prefer to postpone the confrontation regarding Darcy until she could face it with his support, and the possibilities for delay appealed to her mischievous side. “He is a young man from whom you will be hearing in good time, whose intentions are honorable, and whose resources will be sufficient to support me.”

“And his name is…?”

“His name will certainly be a surprise to you when he approaches you.”

Mr. Bennet, evidently amused by her evasions, said, “Lizzy, I have informed your mother that in light of your good sense, I can only assume that your anonymous friend is someone you met on your travels, perhaps in Kent. While I would have preferred to be approached by the gentleman in question before he began sending you compromising letters, I could perhaps overlook it if the circumstances warrant. I will warn you, however, that if by some unlikely chance your FD should prove to be a person of our acquaintance with those initials, you may safely assume that I will not look favorably on the match, given he is someone I can neither like nor respect. I find it hard to believe, however, that your judgment could fail you to such an extent.”

She had not expected this level of disapproval. In increasing distress, Elizabeth confined herself to saying as calmly as possible, “It is my firm belief my choice is an impeccable one, and I will hope to eventually have your agreement on that. Apart from that, I will only say that I am resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness.”

“Well, Lizzy, in that case, all I can say is I hope my faith in your good sense is not misplaced. I remind you that your mother may be less forgiving in the matter of your refusal to name names than I am.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” she said dryly as she took her leave of him, attempting to conceal her feelings of disappointment and resentment.

Irritably snatching up her bonnet, she strode outside, ignoring the calls of her sisters. She set off at a fast pace, not knowing in which direction she went, and at length found herself in the back corner of the gardens where she had so lately been with Darcy. Surrounded by her memories of his gentleness and passion, she attempted to face the painful reality of her father’s words. To her surprise, she found her father’s refusal to approve the match was exactly calculated to make her clearly understand her own wishes for the first time, and she admitted to herself at last that she would indeed offer Darcy a positive response to his proposals on his return, with or without the blessing of her family.

She could not, however, give up the matter of her father as hopeless. The Gardiners would be at Longbourn for the wedding, and she would beg them to intercede with Mr. Bennet on her behalf. Perhaps he would listen to their greater knowledge of Darcy, and with their support and Jane’s, perhaps it might come to a satisfactory resolution after all.

“Lizzy!” Kitty ran up to her, bonnet askew and windblown. “There you are! You sly thing, why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped you, just like I helped Lydia!”

Elizabeth, with a sigh, crossed her arms and looked heavenward in dismay.

“But who would have thought it? We all thought you so proper, and all the while you were meeting secretly with Denny!”

“With Denny?” Elizabeth asked in confusion.

“Did Father tell you that I was the one who figured it out? I knew his first name was Frederick, and I knew that he admired you, and then Father said, ‘So that was the source of all her information about Wickham!’ You should have seen his face!”

“Kitty,” Elizabeth said with incredulity, “do you mean to say he thinks I have been having a liaison with Mr. Denny? Wickham’s friend Denny?”

Kitty nodded excitedly.

“The one who helped cover up Lydia’s elopement?” Elizabeth’s disbelief went beyond words.

“Of course, but you were so sly! I never guessed, in all the times I saw you together, that you were partial to him. Oh, wait till Lydia hears!”

“If you will excuse me,” Elizabeth said abruptly, and started back to the house in a fury. To think her father could even consider for a moment that she was accepting advances from Denny! Well, she would set him to rights, and have words to say about his faith in her judgment as well! At least she need not worry about how he would react to the truth; compared to the amoral and impoverished Denny, Darcy would seem positively heaven-sent.

The thought brought her to a sudden stop. Recalling all her parents’ harsh words and ingrained prejudices about Darcy, the idea came to her that it might not be such a poor idea to let them continue to worry about the prospect of Denny as a son-in-law for a few days. By that point, her father might well be ready to welcome Darcy with open arms. A mischievous smile began to cross her face.