At Peace

Chapter Seventeen I’m Yours

I stood at the mirror in my bathroom gunking up my hair.

I saw movement and turned to the right.

Joe was there and I watched him lean his shoulder against the doorjamb, his eyes at my hands in my hair.

For some reason known only to Joe, he’d gone with us to the mall back to school shopping and because of this, he was wearing a shirt Kate and Keira had bought for him. It wasn’t pink with flowers on it. It was black, tailored down his ribs, a straight hem and he wore it untucked but you could still see his heavy belt buckle which had caught at the bottom flap under the buttons. It looked good on him, making his shoulders seem broader, his midriff leaner, his hips narrower.

My girls had an eye.

His eyes came to mine and he said softly, “They’re here.”

I pulled in both my lips.

“They’re here!” We heard Keira shout.

“Oh shit,” I whispered, Joe grinned, pushed away from the jamb and came to me.

He positioned himself behind me and slid one arm along my belly, one across my chest. He pulled me to his body, dipped his head so his jaw was against my hair and he caught my eyes in the mirror.

“Relax,” he said into my ear.

“Right,” I said back.

He kept grinning then he dropped his head, kissed my neck, let me go and walked out of the bathroom.

Joe was quickly becoming accustomed to the fact that his ordering me to relax didn’t mean I would and, apparently, he was good with that.

I looked back at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

Then I washed my hands in preparation to go introduce my dead husband’s parents to the man who replaced their son.

I couldn’t say the last week with Joe in the house was uneventful.

It was eventful.

Very eventful.

First up was telling the girls.

They’d called the morning after Joe had moved in, waking us both up.

Joe, closer to the phone, rolled away from me and tagged it as I shook off sleep and rolled toward him.

“’Lo?” his deep, rumbling, sleepy voice growled.

I blinked sleep away.

“Yeah, girl, she’s right here.”

Girl.

Shit! He’d answered the phone, sounding asleep and told one of my daughters I was right there.

Joe calmly offered the phone to me and I got up on a hand and stared at it as if it had a mouth, that mouth was open, baring fangs and it was going to bite.

“Baby, it’s Keira,” Joe murmured his prompt and I blinked again then got up to sitting and snatched the phone from his hand.

“Hi honey,” I said into it, trying not to sound sleepy and worrying that I failed.

“Hey Mom,” Keira answered, sounding awake and bouncy like always, not traumatized in a way that meant, sometime in the future she’d enter a mall and mow down innocent bystanders with a machine gun because her Mom’s new boyfriend answered the phone first thing in the morning, sounding sleepy and definitely being in bed with her mother. “We’re packed up and just about to leave.”

“Okay, baby,” I said, curling my knees to my chest and wrapping an arm around them. “You want anything special when you get home?”

“A hot fudge sundae, your hot fudge, Fulsham’s frozen custard,” she replied instantly and that was my Keira, always knowing exactly what she wanted, how she wanted it and not afraid to say it.

“I can do that,” I told her. “What about Kate and… um… Dane?”

“Hang on a minute,” she said into my ear then I heard her shouting to Dane and Kate as I looked at Joe who was lying on his back, watching me talk to my daughter.

His face was still gentled by sleep, his jaw shadowed with stubble, his big, powerful body relaxed, one arm cocked, hand behind his head, the other hand resting on his abs. His scars were on display along with his muscles. His skin had a beautiful olive tint to it, likely given to him by his mother. It and his hair were dark against my light green sheets and this, for some reason, I found unbelievably appealing. His blue eyes were on me, so clear, so blue, so startling, I remembered the first time I saw them and how they affected me and that effect had not diminished in all these months.

I’m yours.

The words he’d said to me two days before came into my head and they hit me like a thunderbolt. So simple, so Joe, two words, two short words but put together and said by Joe their meaning packed a powerful punch.

It socked me right in the gut, so strong, I was sitting in my bed but I was winded.

Then I didn’t know why, I unfolded my legs, twisted to him and bent down. I touched my lips to his throat then rested my cheek against his chest, settling into his warm, hard body, the phone still at my ear, my other ear hearing his heartbeat.

His hand behind his head came to me, sliding into my hair and staying there.

Keira spoke to me. “Kate says she doesn’t want anything and Dane says he’d like some of your pork chops. Though, I’m thinkin’ he’s only sayin’ that because he knows Kate likes your pork chops. I told them about the hot fudge sundaes and they’re both in.”

“All right, Keirry,” I said into the phone, “though, it being summer, I think we’ll barbeque some pork chops.”

Keira was silent. I was not queen of the barbeque. Tim always grilled the food. Since he died I’d tried on countless occasions and hadn’t had much success.

“It’ll be okay, I’ve got to get the hang of it eventually. Maybe tonight’s our lucky night,” I told her.

“Maybe Joe could man the grill,” Keira suggested and I laughed at the thought of sinister, rugged Joe Callahan doing something as domestic as manning a grill.

“I can do it,” I replied.

“Great,” she muttered.

I grinned. “Get home, be safe, see you in a couple hours.”

“Yeah, Momalicious.”

“Give Katy a cuddle for me.”

“I will,” she said and I knew she’d do it, my girls were affectionate. They fought but the ill-will never lasted long.

“Love you, baby,” I whispered into the phone and Joe’s fingers tensed at my scalp.

“Love you too, Mom. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I pressed the off button and Joe’s hand at his abs came to the phone and slid it out of my fingers. I lifted up, he twisted and put it in its bed then twisted back to me, full-on, rolling me to my back.

Then his hands and mouth started moving on me, his hands on my ribs, his mouth at my neck.

“They’re leaving,” I told him.

“How much time we got?” he asked and my stomach dipped.

“A couple of hours,” I answered and his hand came up and curled around my breast.

“Plenty of time,” he muttered against the underside of my jaw.

“Joe, we need to let Mooch out.”

“After.”

“Joe –”

“After.”

“Joe –” he pinched my nipple and that scored straight through me so I whispered, “okay, after.”

His head came up and he was smiling then it came down and he was kissing me.

Mooch, lucky for us, was patient.

We were in the kitchen when the kids arrived. Joe was standing by the sink drinking coffee, his hair wet from his shower. I was standing in the open fridge, a pad of paper in my hand, making a grocery list. My hair was dry and styled. I’d taken a shower first while Joe dealt with a phone call and I’d gotten ready while Joe showered and dressed.

I’d never seen Joe shower. I’d never seen his hair wet and it had been a long freaking time since I shared space with a man while getting ready.

I liked it, all of it.

But when the kids got home, his eyes went to the window then to me and he said, “They’re home, buddy,” I forgot how much I liked his wet hair, standing in the steaming bathroom while he showered and I wiped at the mirror and I panicked.

Joe saw it immediately and demanded, “Relax.”

“Right,” I whispered.

He shook his head and grinned.

I closed the fridge, put down the pad of paper and pen and we walked to the door.

Joe opened it and we walked out, Joe sliding an arm around my shoulders and tucking me into his side as we did.

Kate was out and standing in the door but Keira burst from Dane’s truck and ran, arms windmilling, hair flying behind her, direct to Joe.

“Joe!” she cried then skidded to a halt in front of him and kept shouting, “I got up on water skis!”

Then I watched my body locked tight, as Joe’s hand came up and out. He hooked it around Keira’s head, pulled her to him as he bent low and he touched his mouth to her gleaming hair.

“Way to go,” he muttered against her hair then finished, “proud of you, honey.”

He let her go and I saw her body was locked as tight as mine, her face frozen in wonder and she stayed that way as Joe moved around her, going toward Kate.

I forced my eyes from a still motionless Keira to Kate who was standing by the truck staring at Keira. Joe walked right up to her, her body jolted when he arrived and she tipped her head back, peering up at him, giving him the perfect target when his head dipped down and he touched his lips to her forehead.

“Glad you’re home safe, Katy,” I heard him say, Kate’s head turned, her eyes cutting to me, her face filled with the same wonder as Keira’s had been.

Honey.

Katy.

Holy crap but I didn’t know anything more beautiful than Joe Callahan using those words with my daughters. The only thing more beautiful was their father doing it but they’d never have that, not ever again. This wasn’t the same, would never be, but it wasn’t sloppy seconds either.

Joe took the bag Kate was holding from her hand.

“Where’s Keira’s bag?” Joe asked.

“Back,” Kate said, her voice scratchy, “truck,” she finished, clearly unable to form sentences.

Joe moved to the truck.

It took some effort but I pulled myself together and said, “What? My girls are gone two days, they didn’t let me say good-bye, they come home and no hugs?”

Keira came unstuck and jumped at me. I folded her in my arms as Kate ran to us and joined our huddle. I gave them squeezes, smelling their hair, feeling their bodies against mine and letting that settle in my soul. Then I kissed each of their temples in turn, Kate first, Keira last and let them go.

“Right, let’s get you unpacked,” I looked to see Dane carrying a bag and hanging back and I smiled at him. “Hey Dane, thanks for cutting your family time short and bringing them home safe.”

“No probs, Miz Winters,” Dane replied, grinning at me and coming forward.

Joe carried the girls’ bags in, Dane carried his bag in, I held both my girls by the waist as we walked in.

An hour later, after the kids had unpacked, played with Mooch in the yard and we ate a lunch of sandwiches and chips, Joe took Dane to Fulsham’s Custard stand to buy a tub of custard.

I sat the girls down at the stools by the bar telling them we had to talk. They didn’t say anything, just gave each other looks and went to their stools. They were on the dining area side. I stood in the kitchen at the counter opposite them trying not to hyperventilate.

For the last hour my head had gone over a million ways to open this conversation and then decided all of them were lame.

Therefore I stood there looking between them not having that first clue what to say and, unfortunately, trying to think of what to say I stayed silent a long time.

Kate spoke first. “We get it, Mawdy, you’re with Joe.”

I stared at her.

“Yeah, no duh,” Keira put in.

“So,” I forced out, “you… this doesn’t come as a surprise?”

Kate grinned and informed me, “Dane said a man doesn’t fix a garage door opener unless he’s fixin’ to use that garage.”

I felt my lips part. Even Dane had cottoned onto the situation way before me.

“And he came to the mall with us. Guys like Joe don’t go to malls,” Keira added, sounding wise beyond her years.

“You’re not upset?” I asked and Kate shook her head, still grinning so my eyes went to Keira and she was watching me.

“Who was the chick?” she asked.

“The chick?” I asked back.

“Yeah, that lady he was with before you went all…” she trailed off and then finished, “you know.”

I knew. She was talking about Nadia.

Shit.

“She was… a friend of Joe’s,” I answered.

“She his friend now?” Keira asked.

“No,” I replied instantly.

Keira kept watching me then went on. “So, we’re his only friends now?”

I stared at my daughter and realized she thought we were a unit which we were. Joe took us all or Joe didn’t get us.

“Yeah, honey, we’re Joe’s only friends now,” I said quietly.

“What about Mike?” Keira asked.

I drew in a breath and paused before letting it out and saying, “Mike and I –”

“You’re better with Joe,” Keira cut in before I could finish.

“What?” I asked.

“Mike’s awesome, and he’s hot, but I like the way you are around Joe,” Keira told me.

“Me too,” Kate put in.

“And I like the way Joe is around you,” Keira went on.

“Me too,” Kate repeated and my eyes were going back and forth between my girls as they spoke.

“Mike was way cool and we liked him with you too, but he wasn’t the same,” Keira noted.

“He’s a wonderful man,” I said to her.

“Yeah, but he didn’t fix our garage door opener,” Kate remarked.

“And you don’t look at him like you look at Joe,” Keira stated.

“How do I…” I paused to swallow, not sure I wanted to know not only how I looked at Joe but the way my girls noticed I’d looked at Joe then asked, “look at Joe?”

Keira shrugged.

Kate answered, her eyes on me were intense, “Like you looked at Dad.”

I closed my eyes. Joe was right, the girls knew. They so knew. They knew even more than I knew or at least had admitted to myself.

With my eyes still closed, Kate went on. “And he looks at you like Dad used to.”

Sock in the gut. Winded.

I got my breath back, opened my eyes and told them, “Joe’s stayin’ a couple of months while his house is getting renovated.”

“We know,” Kate replied.

“No, baby, I mean… he’s staying,” I repeated, not sure how to explain it to my teenage girls, worried I shouldn’t, worried, again, if I was doing the right thing and hoping like hell it worked out with Joe because firstly, I wanted it to work out with Joe so badly I tasted it in my mouth and secondly, because I never wanted to have this conversation with my daughters again.

“Yeah, Mawdy, we know. Yeesh, it’s the twenty-first century,” Kate said to me.

“And it’s been, like, months,” Keira added, like I was slow off the mark and it was about time I speeded things up.

“Jenelle’s Mom moved her new boyfriend in in like, I don’t know, a week,” Kate went on and I knew this was true but Jenelle’s Mom was definitely a slut. She made me look like a choirgirl. We’d lived there not a year and Kate’s friend Jennelle’s Mom had moved two boyfriends in with her and her kids and moved both of them out and was working on the third.

But I didn’t want them to think that this was like Jenelle’s Mom or I was like Jenelle’s Mom so I tried to explain.

“Joe and I… I don’t want you to think…” Damn, this was hard, then my voice got soft, I looked between them and I said, “He isn’t just a guy. It isn’t just because I’m lonely after losin’ your Dad. It’s because he’s… Joe and he… means a lot to me and you girls mean…” I paused then told them the truth as it hit me right then, settled in and made me smile a small smile. “You mean the world to him.”

“He’s lost everything so I figure he appreciates what he’s found,” Kate noted sagely and I stared at her again.

“You know about… everything with Joe?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, kids at school talk about it all the time. About his wife and Dad and son and how he’s the lone wolf after all that, the hot lone wolf, the hot, super cool lone wolf. You nab him you’ll be like… a legend,” Keira informed me then grinned and finished. “And we’ll be legends too.”

“Yeah, ‘cause we get to live with Joe too,” Kate added.

“And we call him Joe and no one calls him Joe,” Keira put in.

“Yeah, we’re already kinda legends on that. Dane tells everyone we call him Joe. They think it’s way cool,” Kate said.

I didn’t like everyone at their school talking about Joe, even though they obviously thought he was cool. There was something about it that rattled me.

But I let that go, took in a breath through my nose then I said, “You know, Joe’s moving in, our Joe, not hot, super cool, lone wolf Joe that everyone talks about and him moving in makes you a legend. He’s just a man, he might be a big and strong man but he’s got feelings.”

“Yeah, feelings for us,” Keira replied.

“And feelings for you,” Kate told me.

“And we have feelings for him,” Keira went on.

“And you do too,” Kate finished.

Yeah, I did, but it was good to know they did too.

“You like him?” I asked quietly.

“He’s Joe,” Kate answered simply.

That kind of said it all. He definitely was Joe.

I looked at Keira. “Before he came back, you seemed mad –”

“Mom, it’s cool,” she interrupted me, “I was mad but now we have him back and he came back when we needed him.”

“When you needed him,” Kate stuck with her theme.

“I –” I started but Kate kept talking.

“When Uncle Sam…” She stopped speaking abruptly, looked away then swallowed and looked back at me. “When we came home, you were in Joe’s lap then he carried you across the room and he…” She hesitated and her voice dropped to a whisper. “When we lost Dad, you didn’t have that, someone to be there, someone to lean on, someone to hold you up because that was Dad’s job and he was gone and that was why you…” She shrugged and finished. “I’m just glad that Joe’s gonna be around.”

I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes and I pulled in another breath through my nose before I asked, “You’re sure?” They both nodded so I continued. “It’s only a couple of months then we’ll talk again. This is your home. I want you to feel good in it and comfortable. If you ever feel funny, you need to talk to me.”

“Mawdy, it’s no big deal. Really. Yeesh. This is Joe,” Kate sighed.

“Yeah,” Keira agreed, “yeesh.”

God, they acted like this was no big deal and I should just…

Relax.

Thinking that, I smiled to myself and also defended myself. “I’m tryin’ to be a good Mom.”

“You don’t have to try,” Kate told me.

Another sock to the gut. Winded.

I’d never had a more beautiful compliment.

I took in my wonderful, gorgeous girls, leaned forward, my forearms on the counter and said, “I just want you girls to be happy.”

And to that, Kate asked, “Yeah, you ever think that we want the same for you?”

That’s when the tears hit my eyes.

“God, I love you guys,” I whispered.

“Love you too, Mawdy,” Kate whispered back, also leaning in, also with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, me too,” Keira whispered, leaning in as well with tears in her eyes.

I got off my forearms but reached out and grabbed both their hands, giving them a squeeze.

Then Keira asked, “Where are they with the frozen custard?”

Kate and I laughed and finally I relaxed. They were good. They were even happy for me, for themselves and even for Joe and Keira was right. Enough of the heavy stuff, we’d had more than our fair share of that. It was time to move onto hot fudge frozen custard sundaes.

I let them both go, grabbed my cell off the counter and called Joe.

It rang twice then, “Yo.”

“Hi, talk’s over, you have the Winters Girls seal of approval.”

“Good to know, buddy,” Joe said, sounding like he was smiling then again our talk lasted about ten minutes so he knew he was golden.

“Though,” I went on to warn, “you’re gonna lose it if you don’t get home soon with the custard.”

“It’ll be awhile,” Joe told me.

“Is it busy?” I asked.

“Don’t know. We’re at the garden center,” Joe said.

I blinked at the counter then looked between Kate and Keira before asking, “Why are you at the garden center?”

“Buyin’ you a new grill,” he answered and I blinked again.

My old grill out on the deck was covered by a tarp, an old tatty tarp which was good because the gas grill was older and tattier. It destroyed my whole deck vision with my wrought iron furniture and flowers so it was hidden in a corner. Tim had meant to build me a built-in grill in our backyard. He had it all planned, even bought the bricks he was going to use but he died before he could do it.

“You’re buying a new grill?” I asked and Kate smiled at a smiling Keira.

“Buddy, don’t even wanna look under that tarp,” Joe answered.

“It’s not pretty, but it works.”

“A man’s gotta have the grill he’s gotta have,” Joe told me.

“What?”

“I’m not grillin’ chops on a shitty grill,” Joe said instead of repeating himself but I was stuck on the idea of Joe grilling anything.

“You’re grillin’ the chops?” I asked.

He sounded somewhat impatient when he replied, “Vi, I go to the grocery store, I grill chops. I’m a guy but I gotta eat and you get food at the store and guys grill meat, that’s what we do.”

“So you know how to grill?” I asked hesitantly.

“You know how Vinnie taught Benny how to make a pie?” Joe asked me.

“Yeah.”

“Well, my Dad could do one thing good, grill, and he taught me how to do it. So, yeah, I can grill.”

“Okay.”

“We done talkin’?”

“Um… how long are you gonna be?”

“A lot longer, we’re not done talkin’.”

I smiled at the phone then told him, “The girls and me may be at the store when you get back.”

“Be a fool’s errand since I took your list with me.”

“You’re goin’ to the store?” I breathed, thinking both of rugged alpha male Joe roaming the aisles of a grocery store (which was shocking in itself and I’d already faced this impossibility the day before, but it was such an impossibility it was worthy of further emotion) and of the fact I didn’t have to go to the grocery store (which was a welcome change).

“Shit,” he muttered into the phone, clearly not wanting to have the grocery store discussion again.

“Okay, buy a grill, go to the store, be domestic,” I said quickly, “just don’t forget the custard.”

“I won’t forget.”

“See you later.”

“Yeah,” then he called, “Vi?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“It’s all good.”

“What?”

“Us,” he said, I got that winded feeling again, liking the idea of “us”, liking that he knew to get me, he got the girls and he wanted that and he wanted that to be good and he went on. “Girls’re home, we’re together, it’s all good. Now you gonna relax, baby?”

I tipped my head to the side and whispered, “Yeah.”

“Be home soon.”

Yes, he would and I liked that most of all.

“Yeah,” I whispered, “later, honey.”

“Later, buddy.”

I slid my phone closed and looked at my girls.

“We’re getting a new grill,” I announced and they both smiled.

Joe and Dane didn’t buy a grill.

They bought the grill to end all grills. It took them an hour to set it up on my deck. It was gleaming and huge and totally went with my deck vision.

Then they loaded up the old, tatty grill and took it to the dump.

Then they came back and Joe grilled chops. We ate his chops with my homemade potato salad and blanched green beans tossed in sesame dressing. We finished this with my homemade hot fudge sundaes with huge squirts of whipped cream, chopped nuts and a cherry.

Joe was not wrong. His father must have been the master grill artist like Vinnie was a master pizza maker. Joe’s grilled chops were the best, even better than Tim’s and Tim could man a grill.

We ate on the deck.

All afternoon and evening, pretending to have stuff to do in her backyard but really being nosy, Tina came out every once in awhile to watch this activity, the grill building, the chop cooking, the family eating on the deck.

Tina didn’t look happy about Joe’s sudden domestication.

Revenge was sweet.

“Buddy?” Joe called when we were in bed, I was in his tee, my cheek to his chest, his heart beating in my ear and I was half asleep.

“Yeah?”

“That first time, shoulda made me a hot fudge sundae.”

My head came up and I looked in the direction of his face even though I couldn’t really see him because it was dark.

“What?”

“Before I fucked you over the first time, you shoulda made me a hot fudge sundae.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t have fucked you over. I woulda taken you to Vegas.”

“Vegas?”

“Married you, Vi,” he said, sounding like he was close to laughing.

“What?” I breathed.

“They’re that good.”

“What are?”

His hand curled around the back of my head and he urged, definitely laughing now, “Stick with me here, honey. Your sundaes. They’re that good.”

My sundaes were good, I loved my sundaes. The hot fudge was Bea’s recipe but I made it better simply by putting in a bit of cinnamon.

Still, I asked, “You wouldn’t have told me you were done with me if I’d made you a sundae, instead, you would have married me?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you tryin’ to piss me off when I’m half asleep?”

“Just givin’ you a head’s up on what’ll keep me happy.”

I pushed up higher. “You are tryin’ to piss me off when I’m half asleep.”

He curled up, his arms went around me and suddenly I was on my back, Joe on me.

His mouth against mine, he muttered, “I’m teasin’ you, baby.”

“I don’t like to be teased.”

“Then whoever did it wasn’t doin’ it right,” he whispered.

My breath caught, my body stilled and I stared at his shadowed head in the dark.

He did remember everything.

“Joe,” I whispered back.

His mouth slid from mine to my ear and he murmured. “Don’t say my name like that in this bed unless you want me to fuck you, Vi.”

My arms went around him, my hands gliding across the skin of his back, my head turned slightly so my mouth was at his ear and I whispered, “Joe.”

He laughed softly in my ear.

Then he fucked me.

In the middle of the night I jolted awake, breathing heavily, the dream still had hold of me.

“Buddy.”

“I’m okay.”

We were spooning, his arms tightened around me and I pressed back into his body.

“Same dream?” he asked.

“Bits different but mostly, yeah,” I answered.

Joe rolled closer, giving me some of his weight, pressing me into the bed, his big body cocooning mine.

“You wanna tell me what it is?” he asked.

“No, no, I need to let it go.”

“All right, buddy.”

“Just, keep close,” I whispered.

“Not goin’ anywhere.”

“Good.”

I felt his face in my hair, his breath stirring it and he held me close, his body a protective shell, until I fell asleep.

Sunday, Joe (and Dane) learned what being a part of the Winters Girls clan meant when we all went to look at bathroom and kitchen fittings.

Kate and Keira’s visions for Joe’s house clashed significantly, they couldn’t agree on anything and discussion got heated.

In store three when the salesperson was backing away, Dane was faking getting a text and I was about to intervene, Joe waded in.

“Right,” he said in a commanding way, both Kate and Keira stopped arguing and their eyes cut to him, “Kate, you get the kitchen, Keira, the bathroom…” he turned to me, “Vi, you pick the paint and the carpet.”

“I want the kitchen,” Keira unwisely put in and Joe’s eyes went to her so she snapped her mouth shut.

“That’s cool because I’d prefer the bathroom,” Kate said.

“Done,” Joe decreed and the girls smiled.

Simple, logical and doable.

Shit, he was like Superman.

Monday I went back to work, so did Kate, Dane went home to his folks and we managed our first day living life the way it was going to be without any real drama.

I was relieved to see that both girls acted like Joe was a natural fit in the house but it became clear Joe didn’t feel it was so natural. Joe had things on his mind.

This became clear at the end of the day when I was cleaning off my makeup in the bathroom, Joe was in my bed and I was thinking about our evening.

When I got home from work, Kate was already home and Keira arrived ten minutes after me. She’d been laying out by Heather’s pool all day, dedicated to building her tan to the highest possible heights prior to school starting. When Keira got home, Joe told us he was taking us to eat at Shanghai Salon. I was thrilled at this idea; it meant I didn’t have to cook. The girls were thrilled because they loved Chinese food.

When we came back, Joe got a phone call that lasted awhile and the girls and I put in a movie. Kate was in an armchair, Keira and I were stretched out on the couch, Keira in front of me, my arm around her, not unusual for us (or for Kate and me for that matter). Also not unusual for Tim and one of the girls when he was alive.

Joe was taking his call in the study, I heard it end then I felt him approach the back of the couch.

Then I felt the cushions behind me being pulled out and both Keira and I looked up as Joe put a hip to the couch then rolled over it, sliding in behind me. With his elbow in the couch, head in hand, his eyes went to the TV as his arm circled both Keira and me.

I laid still and breathless but looked at my daughter.

She was still and breathless, her neck twisted, looking at me.

Then her face went soft, her lips tipped up at the ends and she snuggled into me, forcing me to snuggle into Joe, his arm tightened, my body relaxed and we watched the movie. But before I looked back at the screen I glanced at Kate to see her eyes on the television but her lips were tipped up like her sister’s.

And, taking my makeup off, I realized this was Joe staking his claim in private and in public. We were his, he wanted us to know it and he wanted everyone else to know it too.

I stared at myself in the mirror, thinking that Mike told me Joe told him that he was going to give me everything. When Mike told me that, I didn’t know what it meant, I just knew that the promise of it felt brilliant.

Now I knew what it meant.

I’d had everything once and what was more my daughters had it and in a way I didn’t think it could begin again the world had ended when that everything was ripped away, not just from me but from my daughters.

Joe was giving it back, to me and my girls.

Standing in the bathroom, I felt my side of the scale crash down, it was loaded so full by Joe.

I walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom and I didn’t look at Joe as I walked to the door and locked it. Then I turned, my eyes went to Joe in our bed and I walked to the end of it. I stood there and, as Joe watched silently, I pulled off his tee, tugged down my panties and stepped out of them then crawled on all fours up his legs. I kissed his belly then slid the covers down.

“Buddy,” he murmured.

I took him in my hand and slid him into my mouth.

“Christ, buddy,” he groaned, both of his big hands sliding my hair back at the sides and holding on.

Not knowing how to give him everything, I gave him what I could, making him come with my mouth.

When I was done, he yanked me over his body, shoved my face in his neck and his hand went between my legs and he made me come with his fingers.

That was Joe, balancing out the scales.

“You good?” Joe murmured when my heart rate went back to normal, his fingers still sliding gently through the wetness between my legs.

Yes, I was good.

Except I found just then I wanted Joe’s side of the scale to be heavier than mine.

For the rest of his life.

But I whispered into his neck, “Yeah.”

His hand slid away and he moved me to his side.

“Sleep, buddy,” he ordered softly.

“Okay, Joe,” I replied, his hand went to my hip to draw his random patterns and my mind filled with ways to unbalance our scale.

I fell asleep not coming up with much.

The nightmare came again that night. It woke me and Joe and he held me as my breathing steadied and the tremors slid out of my body.

He did this silently but when I’d recovered Joe spoke.

“Don’t like this shit, Vi.”

“It’ll pass.”

“Don’t like it,” he repeated.

“I’ll be okay.”

“You have this when Tim died?” he asked.

“No,” I answered.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“I’ll be okay.”

His arms squeezed me then he said, “Yeah.”

But he didn’t sound convinced.

On Tuesday morning while I was drinking coffee and the girls were still sleeping, Joe went out front which was something he did first thing every morning since he’d moved in. I knew why and I chose to pretend it didn’t happen.

That morning I couldn’t because Joe came back in, stood in the door and looked to me.

“Come out here, buddy.”

At first I panicked then I saw his lips twitching so I walked to the door and followed Joe outside and into my yard.

He looked to Tina’s house so I looked to Tina’s house and then stared.

The front yard, her trees, her fence, her bushes, everything was covered in toilet paper.

Once I got over the shock of seeing Tina’s white, toilet-paper-strewn yard, I let out a strangled giggle.

“Know anything about that?” Joe asked and I looked at him and shook my head.

“Nope,” I lied.

Joe looked back at Tina’s and noted, “Looks to me like Jessie Rourke’s handiwork.”

He was wrong. Toilet papering was Dee’s idea.

I kept silent.

Joe looked at me again. “We got war here?”

“War?” I asked.

“She gonna retaliate?”

I thought it was highly unlikely Tina would retaliate with Joe’s truck in my drive but she was a bitch and I wasn’t. What did I know what bitches did?

“Um…” I mumbled.

“She fucks with your yard, buddy, we got problems,” Joe warned then suggested, “so maybe you two should have words, settle this.”

“I’m sure it’ll be all right,” I assured him, not wanting to have words with Tina again.

“It isn’t, I have to wade in then it really won’t be all right,” Joe told me.

“Joe –”

“Talk to her.”

“Joe –”

He got close, tipped his chin down and assumed his sinister look.

“Buddy, talk… to… her.”

I tried to decide if I should mess with Joe when he was looking sinister.

This took half a second before I decided not to mess with Joe when he was looking sinister.

“All right,” I muttered.

“Fuck,” Joe muttered back, his eyes going to Tina’s, “I finally find a woman and she’s fuckin’ friends with Jessie Rourke and enemies with Tina Blackstone.” Since he sounded aggravated, I suggested, “I’ll make her cupcakes.”

Joe looked at me and said not a word.

I bit my lip.

Joe looked at my mouth, shook his head then slung an arm around my shoulders and walked me back into my house.

When I got home after work that night, Joe wasn’t home and neither were Kate and Keira.

I had three notes, two from Kate, one from Keira.

Note one:

Heather’s folks are taking us to Costa’s. I get to wear my new dress which looks awesome with my tan! Don’t worry, using Joe’s money to pay for mine. Will text you when I’m on my way home.

xxooxxoo-Keira

I wondered if that was old Joe money or new Joe money he’d given her to go to Costa’s. I decided to ask later when I wasn’t tired after working all day or, alternately, not to ask at all considering, being tired after working all day, my mood was unpredictable and I wasn’t sure how I felt about Joe possibly giving Keira more money.

Note two:

Joe said he’s going to the office and he��ll be home around the time you get home.

xoxoxo-Kate

Apparently Joe didn’t write notes. Luckily Kate did.

Note three:

Dane and I are going to a movie. We’ll be back around nine.

Love you!

xoxoxo-Kate

I was alone in the house (again) so I went to the mailbox, got the mail, waved to Myrtle, went back in, let Mooch out of his box then let him outside taking my mail with me to open it while I kept an eye on Mooch. Once I sorted my mail, Mooch and I came back in, I dropped the post on the counter and went to fridge, trying to decide what to make for dinner.

While standing in the fridge, I heard Joe’s truck in the drive. I closed the fridge, still not having decided what to make for dinner and moved to open a cupboard and stare into that with the hopes of inspiration striking.

Joe walked in the side door, my eyes went to him, his eyes were already on me and he said, “Hey buddy.”

I smiled at him. “Hey Joe.”

He came right at me, hooked an arm around my waist, his head bent and his mouth hit mine for a short, hard, closed-mouthed kiss.

“Where are the girls?” he asked when he lifted his head and during the time I was thinking that my mood wasn’t unpredictable anymore now that Joe was home and he’d given me a kiss (not to mention, him asking meant he didn’t know Keira was at Costa’s which meant he hadn’t given her money).

“Kate and Dane are at a movie. Keira is at Costa’s with Heather’s family,” I informed him, he nodded but made no comment so I went on to ask, “You hungry?”

“Could eat.”

“Have a taste for anything?”

His eyes got intense and one side of his mouth went up in a grin, a new look, one that made my legs wobble.

I ignored my legs wobbling and prompted him to focus, “For food.”

He let me go and muttered, “Steak.”

“We don’t have steak,” I told him.

“I’ll go out and get some,” he replied, picking up my mail and beginning to sift through it.

“I’ll make a quick list and go with you,” I told him and he again didn’t speak as I went to the fridge and got the pad of paper with the magnet on the back that was on the fridge door then I opened the junk drawer and got a pen.

I was scratching down items to go with steak when Joe spoke.

“You need to call your bank and I’ll give you Lindy’s number so you can arrange to transfer your direct debits for the mortgage to my account.”

My head came up and my surprised eyes went to him.

“What?” I asked.

He threw my mail down and turned to me, not answering my question but instead saying, “Utilities too. Lindy’ll handle it.”

“What?” I repeated.

“Mortgage and utilities to my accounts,” Joe answered and I changed my question.

“Why?”

“Why?” Joe repeated.

“Yes, um… why?”

“Live here, buddy,” Joe answered.

“Yes, but, that’s –”

Joe cut me off. “Pay my way.”

I shook my head with confusion then I got it and said, “Okay, I’m cool with that but you can just give me a percentage, a quarter is fair.”

“Pay your way too.”

I blinked, back to confused. “I don’t understand.”

Joe leaned a hip to the counter and he studied me before asking, “What don’t you understand?”

“Paying my way. I mean, that’s generous but unnecessary. And it’s really unnecessary to change the direct debits for the mortgage and utilities for just a couple of months.”

Joe’s eyebrows went up and his face darkened before he asked softly, “A couple of months?”

“Yes, if you want to contribute while you’re stayin’, I’m happy for you to do that. But you don’t have to pay it all and we don’t have to switch the direct debits because I’ll only have to switch them back and that’s a pain in the ass.”

“While I’m stayin’?” Joe asked, he was studying me even closer and he was beginning to look a little scary.

“Yes, while you’re stayin’, until your house gets renovated.”

“Sellin’ the house once it’s done, Vi, told you that.”

“Yes, well…” I trailed off because it dawned on me rather belatedly that if he was selling his house that would mean he was moving, not living next door anymore. Then it hit me that he had a place in Florida and I wondered if that was where he was moving which meant long distance relationship or, even worse, an end to “us”.

And if it was Florida that would mean an end he already knew before he even moved in.

On that thought, my mood swung straight back to unpredictable and I asked somewhat sharply, “Where are you goin’ after the house is renovated?”

“Not goin’ anywhere.”

“But if you’re selling –”

“I’m staying here.”

“Yes, but, then your house will be sold and fall is coming, winter’s after that. Are you going to Florida?”

Joe put a hand to the counter and leaned slightly toward me. “Vi, stick with me, yeah? I’m staying here.”

He was getting impatient but then again so was I.

Not to mention I wasn’t all that thrilled with him being patronizing.

“Yes, I know that, Joe. But what about after? You said you spent the winter in Florida. Is that where you’re heading?”

“No, I’m staying here.”

“For how long?” I asked.

“Jesus. For long enough to pay the fucking mortgage and utilities,” he answered, losing patience. “How long’s that say to you I’m stayin’?”

I stared at him, uncomprehending then I comprehended and my mouth dropped open.

Joe noticed and said with mild but undeniable sarcasm, “That’s it, baby, I see it’s penetrated.”

I was moving from impatient to angry, as well as still confused with just a hint of afraid, a volatile combination.

“You’re moving in?”

I watched as his eyebrows snapped together before he said, “I’m already in.”

“Yes, for two months,” I returned.

“No, for good,” he shot back.

I shook my head, stunned at this news and said, “I didn’t agree to that.”

“I didn’t exactly give you a choice, seein’ as you were playin’ games, fuckin’ another guy and I needed to stake my claim. I did, I’m here, I’m stayin’.”

The confused and afraid slid away, the angry snapped right into place.

“What did you just say?” I whispered.

“You heard me.”

“I wasn’t fucking Mike,” I snapped.

“Right,” he replied, the sarcasm less mild this time.

“I wasn’t!” My voice was rising.

Joe’s voice didn’t rise, it got lower which was even scarier. “He was caught on your hook. I’ve had a fair taste of you, Vi, man only gets that caught if he’s had a taste.”

I could not believe him.

I planted my hands on my hips and retorted, “Yes, Joe, he had a taste. That’s all he had.”

Joe’s face went full-on scary when he returned, “I’ll say it once, buddy, not a good idea to tell me about that shit.”

“We were over!”

“We’ve never been over, we started when you begged me to fuck you and we’ve never been fucking over.”

“You broke it off with me twice!” Yes, my voice was definitely rising.

“Not twice, it was you who tried to end it the second time.”

“I did end it.”

“Not even close.”

“We were over!” I repeated.

“We weren’t fuckin’ over.”

“We were!”

“Vi, since we started I been home twice when you weren’t in my fuckin’ bed. How the fuck is that over?”

I didn’t know if this was true, though I reckoned it was, but it didn’t matter. We were still over. However I knew I’d never convince Joe of that.

Therefore, I snapped, “It’s ridiculous to fight about this.”

“You’re absolutely right,” he bit out, making it sound like I was the one being ridiculous.

Not liking that one bit, I therefore declared, “You’re not movin’ in for good.”

His face went from scary to sinister, he took two steps toward me, his legs being long meaning this brought him into my space and he looked down at me.

“I’m in,” he clipped.

“You can’t be. This is too fast. The girls –”

“Yeah, the girls. Better for them I move in then move out for no fuckin’ reason then move fuckin’ in again?”

It pissed me off but he had a point so I changed strategies.

“We haven’t even been on a date!” I cried.

He stared at me like he didn’t know who I was then he muttered irately, “Jesus Christ.”

“Joe –” I started but his hand came up, it did this fast, he hooked me at the back of my neck and pulled me in and up. I fell into his body, my hands going to his chest, he bent at the waist and neck and his face was an inch from mine.

“As fuckin’ ridiculous and clueless as you’re bein’ right now, when you aren’t bein’ that, this is us, this is good, this is where we are and this is where we’re stayin’. I’m not dickin’ around with you anymore. I told you, I’m movin’ in and I’m sellin’ my house. Sellin’ my house means I’d have no house which means I’m moving in.” Then he finished, now sounding not only angry but also frustrated at my stupidity. “Christ, Vi, what did you think?”

I didn’t back down even knowing he was losing more of his temper, he was bigger than me, stronger than me and scarier than me. “Obviously, I thought you were staying until your house got renovated.”

“Yeah, to get sold. Then what?”

“I didn’t think about that!”

“No, you didn’t, but that didn’t mean I didn’t fuckin’ tell you.”

“You didn’t spell it out either!” I snapped.

“Maybe you might wanna learn to come to the obvious conclusion,” he suggested.

“And maybe you might wanna learn that this is me this is how I am. I’ve always got a million things on my mind. I don’t need more so you need to spell it out.”

He didn’t reply, just kept his mouth shut but I saw a muscle flex in his jaw.

“We need to talk about you moving in,” I went on and his other arm went around me at the waist, pulling me into his body and he did this hard so my hands were caught between us.

“I’m in.”

“Joe –”

He cut me off saying, “Seventeen years… no, longer… I’ve been waitin’ for you, waitin’ for those girls. You’re here and I’m lettin’ go of my shit, finally fuckin’ movin’ on from all that, movin’ on to something good in my life, something to wake up and get outta bed for and I’m not leavin’ it because of some hang up you have. You and me, I haven’t made it easy, I’ll admit that, but that’s done. You gotta get over it or you’re never gonna move on. I’m movin’ on, Kate and Keira are movin’ with me. It’s only you who’s gotta keep the fuck up.”

I felt winded again so I had to force out my, “Joe –”

“And I’m not livin’ under the cloud of how it began, Vi. I fucked up, you know why, I explained it. You don’t accept that, you keep handin’ me this shit, we’ll have problems we can’t overcome and then I’ll move on a different way and you’ll be right back where you fuckin’ started.”

I felt my body get tight. “Are you threatening to leave?”

“I’m not livin’ under that cloud,” he repeated.

“How can you threaten to leave when you’re arguing about staying?” I demanded to know (and I did this loudly).

“God fucking dammit,” he bit out, his voice nearly a snarl then he let me go, turned away, ripped the sheet of paper off the top of the pad and stated, “I’m gettin’ steaks. Sort your fuckin’ head out while I’m gone.”

And as I stood in the kitchen staring at him, he whistled for the dog and both Mooch and Joe walked out (well, Mooch kind of trotted), they went to his truck and they drove to the store.

Why he took Mooch, I had no idea and I was too angry to care.

The time he spent at the store I did not spend, as ordered, sorting my “fuckin’” head out. Instead, I spent it thinking Joe was a jerk and I should never have started it with him. I spent more time thinking this was never going to work, primarily because he was a jerk.

He arrived home with two bags of groceries in one hand, his phone at his ear in his other hand and Mooch, in doggie heaven after getting a ride in Joe’s truck, at his heels.

He stayed on the phone while I started up the grill for the steaks and seasoned them (I also seasoned good steaks, salt and pepper, seasoning salt and Worcestershire sauce, brilliant), put some new potatoes on the boil and got the water ready for the peas when they needed to go in.

Then I took the steaks to the grill and was in the beginning processes of ruining them (with Tina sitting on her deck, reading a magazine and drinking a cocktail) when Joe came out and plucked the fork right out of my hand.

“I’m grilling steaks,” I snapped, glaring up at him.

“Yeah, now I’m grilling steaks,” Joe clipped back then fiddled with the knobs.

“What are you doing? I have it like I want it.”

“It’s too hot, Vi.”

“So?”

“You’re gonna burn ‘em.”

I crossed my arms on my chest, threw out a foot, tilted a hip and shot back, “I’ve been doing things just fine for nearly two years without your help, I think I can grill a couple fucking steaks.”

He glowered at me, I glared right back then he said, “Right,” handed me the fork and walked away.

I turned back to the grill, saw Tina smirking in my direction, I ignored her, readjusted the knobs and finished ruining the steaks.

Joe didn’t get a chance to eat his ruined steak since he took off, not saying good-bye.

I added that to my list of reasons why he needed to move the fuck out right, fucking, away.

Keira and Kate were both home before Joe and they both asked where he was. Since he didn’t tell me, I didn’t have an answer. They decided, wisely, not to pursue it. They had, I didn’t realize, been around when Tim and I fought and they knew, I didn’t realize, that I could hold a mean grudge. So they steered clear.

In fact it was dark, the girls were asleep and I was in bed by the time Joe got home and I’d been in bed a really long time.

Long enough to cool down, get my head sorted out and remember three things.

One, Joe didn’t have seventeen years with a partner to practice communication. Hell, I did have that time and Tim and I often got into tiffs, mainly because he was hot-headed and when my temper blew, it blew huge. I didn’t know how long Joe and Bonnie were married but I didn’t figure she was that good of a communicator and he certainly wasn’t. I needed to cut him some slack.

Two, Jackie told me that the only way sure to fail was to give up and that was always the first thing on my mind, giving up on Joe. I needed to stop doing that.

And three, right in the middle of a fight he said he’d waited seventeen years (even longer) for me and my girls. I hadn’t waited that long to find him but the time after losing Tim to finding Joe wasn’t fun and I never wanted to repeat that again so I couldn’t imagine waiting seventeen years to find someone I gave a shit enough about to try out a life with them. After all that time, we’d given him something to wake up and get out of bed for, he told me that too, and that was huge. So I also needed to stop being a bitch.

I heard him enter the house then our room then I heard his clothes hit the floor and, seconds later, I felt it as he hit the bed.

I rolled into him instantly.

His body got tight.

“In no mood, buddy,” he growled this warning, clearly not done being mad.

“I was a bitch,” I replied, his body got tighter and I pressed closer and kept talking. “I didn’t think it through, I have too much on my mind but you’re important, I should have thought it through and I shouldn’t have lost my temper when I was caught off guard.” I kissed his neck and whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry, Joe.”

He didn’t reply, his body still taut, and kept his silence for long enough for me to take a deep breath and a big risk and do everything I could not to give up on Joe.

So I slid to straddling him. His hands came to my hips and gripped them, probably to push me off but I put my hands to either side of his head, dipped my face close to his, held on and peered at him through the dark.

“I’m gonna piss you off, honey, probably enough for you to want to leave. I’ve got a temper and so do you, we’re gonna clash. It won’t feel good, it’ll feel not worth it sometimes but, you leave me, I’ll wait for you to come back. And you’ll come back because, something we’ve both learned, this, what we have is worth getting over it. Whatever it is that ticks us off or holds us back, we know it’s worth fighting for. I won’t give up on you, Joe, I promise. I just need you to promise the same thing.”

He remained silent and I started getting scared so I tilted my head so our foreheads were touching.

“Baby, don’t give up on me,” I whispered.

“Buddy, I came home,” he replied and it hit me that he did and it also hit me that his hands were still gripping my hips, not to push me away, he’d never tried to push me away. They were gripping my hips to hold me where I was. If he was giving up on me, he wouldn’t have come home to my bed.

So my big speech was kind of unnecessary.

“Oh,” I murmured, “right.”

“Jesus,” he muttered then he rolled until I was on my back, his weight was on me, his hips between my legs then he said, “you’re not real fast, are you?”

If he’d said this in an angry or sarcastic way, rather than a resigned and a tad bit amused way, I would have lost my mind.

Instead, I said honestly, “I’m not usually this clueless. But when my brother is murdered; I’m waiting for the next crazy gift to be delivered to my door which might cause my head to explode; I fall in love with a man and he moves in; and I have a future that includes another kid and I need to figure out how I’m gonna tell my daughters they might have a brother or sister sometime in the future, I get a little out of it. In my defense, most women would.”

“What?” Joe asked when I stopped talking and I realized his body had gone tense again, so tense it felt like even his cells had stopped moving he had that tight a rein.

I put a hand to his face and answered, “I thought you said you wanted a kid.”

“Before that.”

I thought for a second and asked, “My head exploding?”

His body moved but only to press mine deeper into the bed.

“After that, Vi,” he growled and I was getting confused again because he was sounding impatient again, very impatient, close to losing it impatient.

“I’m in love with you?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah, baby, that.”

“What about it?”

“What about it?” he repeated.

“Yeah, um… do you… uh…” Shit! He wasn’t ready for that. Now what did I say? “Is that too much for you? Should I have –?”

He cut me off by roaring with laughter. Roaring. So loud I was pretty sure he’d wake the girls (and Mooch).

“What’s funny?” I asked him and he shoved his face in my neck but his hands started roaming.

“You think maybe you might have wanted to tell me that?”

“Tell you what?”

His head came up. “Honey, keep up with me because this is pretty fuckin’ important.”

I felt my temperature increase as my anger elevated and I did my best to lock it down.

“I’m not following you, Joe. Maybe you could explain?”

His mouth came to mine and he whispered, “You’re in love with me.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Didn’t you think maybe you should share that with me?”

“Um… I thought I did.”

He kissed me lightly then his mouth went away but not far away when he said, “Woulda remembered that, buddy.”

“But, I gave up Mike and you’re moved in.”

“Yeah. So?”

“With me and the girls.”

He didn’t say, “Yeah. So?” again, he let his silence say it.

“Doesn’t that say it all?” I asked. “I mean, I wouldn’t let just any guy move in with me and the girls. I’m not like that. He’d have to mean something to me, like you do.”

I felt his body relax into mine before he asked quietly, “When did you know?”

“What?”

“That you loved me, when did you know?”

I felt my temperature decrease and my hand slid up his back and into his hair. “I don’t know. I just knew,” I answered softly.

“Vi –” he said my name on a gentle warning.

Quickly, to get it out because, being Joe he wasn’t going to let it go and when I said it, it was going to make me sound stupid, I told him. “When you said, ‘Baby, you aren’t wearing any shoes’ that second night we were together at your house.”

Immediately, he replied, “I knew you were the one when you were standin’ in my living room, wearing those stupid-ass boots, your nightie and that ratty robe.”

“That was the night we first met.”

“Yep.”

I was the one for Joe and he knew it the first night we met.

He knew I was the one. The one. The one.

And he knew it the first night we met.

I felt tears sting my eyes and my other arm wrapped tight around him.

“Joe,” I whispered.

His mouth came to mine again as his hands lifted my legs to wrap them around his hips and he whispered back, “I love you, baby.” I felt my breath hitch and the tears slid out the sides of my eyes but he wasn’t done. “And I’m not fuckin’ movin’ out.”

“Okay,” I replied instantly.

I felt him smile against my mouth then I felt his hand slide into my panties to cup my ass then he kissed me and, after that, he made love to me. He took his time, he let me take mine and it was better than any other time before.

So that was saying something.

After, Joe called, “Vi?”

“Yeah, baby?” I said into his chest.

“Move the mortgage and utilities, yeah?”

I sucked in breath then said, “Maybe we should –”

“Move ‘em.”

“Joe –”

His hand slid into my hair, fisted and he tilted my head back as he lifted his and dipped his chin.

“Not gonna say it again, baby,” he said softly.

“I’ve got more on my scales,” I whispered in reply.

His fist unclenched and his hand cupped the back of my head as he asked, “What?”

“You keep unbalancing the scales, giving me more. It’s not fair.”

He was silent a second then he asked quietly, “You shittin’ me?”

I shook my head.

His other arm went around me and he pulled me up his chest until I was face to face with him.

Then he spoke.

“Since I could remember, all I wanted was a family. My Mom died, my Dad lost it and I’d go to Aunt Theresa and Uncle Vinnie’s house, bein’ with their family, a family that was loud and in your business which part of the time was annoying as hell but the rest of the time it just felt good because they were that way because they gave a shit. And I wanted that. My Dad was so deep in his grief he lost his way and he forgot to give a shit so I never had that, not at home. I got older and that changed and all I wanted was a good woman and a family. All my life, with a slight variation on theme, that’s all I ever wanted. Buddy, you’ve given me both. You think, givin’ me that, I could ever balance those scales?”

I didn’t say anything, couldn’t, because I was crying.

Joe wrapped his arms around me, rolled us to our sides and held me while I did it. Once I stopped crying, his hand came up and he dried my tears with his thumb.

Then he whispered, “Move the mortgage and utilities, yeah?”

“Okay, Joe.”

He tucked my face in his throat and he was still whispering when he said, “Love you, buddy.”

“Love you too, Joe.”

“Sleep.”

“Okay. ‘Night, honey.”

“’Night, baby.”

I lay in his arms and thought I’d been lucky, getting pregnant at seventeen by the love of my life. I’d even known I was lucky all those years I had Tim.

Until I lost the love of my life.

And here I was, with all the shit that had gone down, finding myself just that lucky again.

I cuddled closer to Joe Callahan then I fell asleep.

I didn’t have a nightmare that night.

I slept the whole night through like a log, didn’t wake up once.

Wednesday went by mostly without incident.

That was if you didn’t count me coming home from work and Keira rushing out of her room, arms wheeling, Mooch following her yapping as she ran down the hall, shouting, “Joe bought us new computers!”

That day Kate had off from the Custard Stand so I knew Joe and the girls were going out to make final decisions on kitchen appliances, faucets for both kitchen and bathroom and to select tile for Joe’s house.

As far as I knew, computers weren’t in the mix.

“New computers?” I asked my daughter as she skidded to a halt in front of me (though Mooch came right at me and jumped around my legs).

“Yeah!” she shouted, her face alight with glee.

“Computers. As in, plural?” I went on, bending down to pick up Mooch and give him a snuggle.

“Yeah, one for Kate, one for me and a new desktop to replace our old one and act as a server.” Keira was watching my face, reading my expression and sensing my reaction, therefore her enthusiasm faded and she quickly explained, “Joe says they’re for homework. He says we need ‘em for school. He says our old one is too old and one computer for four people is ridiculous in this day and age.”

I let this information sink in, hearing Joe speaking these words in my head (and he probably used the f-word somewhere while saying them) as I juggled Mooch, dumped my purse on the counter and reminded myself that Joe had just got the family he always wanted. He was making up for lost time. It wouldn’t be good for me to blow my stack at Joe’s alarming tendency to spoil my daughters every chance he got. I had to be patient with him and find the right time to explain that new computers and the like were things family discussed. Or, more to the point, things adults discussed prior to them being purchased.

Then I heard what sounded like a drill.

“Is that a drill?” I asked Keira.

Keira turned her ankle to the side, bit her lip then stated, “Well, Joe decided we also needed desks to put our computers on while we’re doin’ our homework and…” She hesitated. “Um…” She hesitated again. “Shelves for our books.”

“Joe!” I shouted, forgetting about patience.

Mooch yapped and Keira jumped.

Then Keira muttered, “Uh-oh.”

The drill kept right on going as I dropped Mooch and stalked down the hall, repeating on a shout, “Joe!”

The drill stopped when I turned at the door to Keira’s room and saw Kate holding up some shelves (that I had to admit, to myself only, looked really good in Keira’s room). Joe was standing with her, his neck twisted to look at me standing in the door. I also saw there was a desk that matched the shelves. Both were painted white, both were immensely girlie and the desk had a laptop on it, the cover looked like it was purple glitter.

I was screwed. Keira was never going to give up a laptop with a purple glitter cover.

My narrowed eyes went to Joe. Mooch, having come to sit by my feet, yapped, giving me puppy backup.

Kate’s cautious eyes went beyond me to where I knew Keira was standing.

Joe put the drill on a shelf and moved toward me.

“In our room,” I demanded, “we gotta talk.”

He didn’t let me turn and stomp to our room. Before I moved an inch, he hooked me with an arm at my waist, pulling my stiff frame into the room as well as into his body and I realized he was fighting a smile as I watched his face dip close to mine.

“Baby, you don’t even have wi-fi,” he said, and, being Joe, he started his explanation somewhere in the middle.

It was true. We didn’t have wi-fi, because we didn’t need wi-fi because we only had one computer.

“We gotta talk,” I repeated.

“Girls can’t get shit done, sharin’ a computer,” he went on.

“Bedroom. Talk,” I bit out.

“Now they can work anywhere in the house where they’re comfortable. They’ll be more productive,” Joe continued.

This made sense.

I didn’t give him this point, instead, I snapped, “Joe –”

His head dipped closer and he touched his mouth to mine, effectively quieting me before he continued. “Katy’s gonna be a junior. She told me she’s college prep, come second semester, she’ll already be takin’ college credit courses. Work’s gonna get tougher, she’ll need her own space to concentrate and she’ll need a system to take with her when she goes away to school.”

“Right,” I replied sarcastically, “the rate your goin’, you’re not gonna buy her a new one before she goes off to college.”

At my words, firm indication to Joe, as well as the girls, that Joe was going to be there in two years to get Kate a new computer, Joe’s eyes went soft, his face grew tender and he grinned at me. Through this, I heard Keira stifle a giggle and Kate cough to hide her laugh.

Hearing my daughters’ amusement, seeing Joe’s face like that, I forgot why I was mad.

Joe saw it, or sensed it, and his arm around me tightened.

“If it makes you feel better, Kate bought the new beanbag for her room with her own money,” Joe told me and I rolled my eyes but I did this mostly for show.

When I rolled them back and looked at Joe, I stated, “No more shopping in your truck. You take my girls shopping, it has to be in the Mustang. Furniture and beanbags don’t fit in a Mustang.”

Joe was still grinning when he asked, “How’ll you get to work?”

“We’ll trade cars.”

His arm gave me a squeeze and he said, “You don’t drive my ride, honey, no one but me drives my ride.”

“Why? You drive mine,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, but I’m a guy,” Joe answered.

“This is true, Joe’s a guy,” Keira put in, coming to stand at our sides.

I looked at Keira, now trying to fight my own smile then back at Joe before pointing out, “Yeah, you’re a guy, why’re you shoppin’ at all?”

“Rulebook says I can shop for furniture and shit with plugs. The beanbag was pushin’ it but since I didn’t pay for it, I get a bye on that,” Joe explained and I heard mirth burst forth from both girls again, this time they didn’t smother it.

I put my hands on Joe’s arms and, giving in, I asked, “Are those shelves gonna be done by dinner?”

Joe gave me another squeeze then he touched his lips to mine before letting me go, moving back to the shelves and saying, “Depends if dinner’s gonna be ready in ten minutes or thirty.”

I wanted to know what dinner took ten minutes to be ready. Then I wanted to know if it was any good and not nuked in a microwave.

I didn’t ask, I answered, “Thirty, at least.”

Joe picked up the drill and looked at me. “Then, yeah.”

I looked at Kate who was smiling a small smile and still holding up the shelves. Then I looked at Keira who was standing at her new girlie desk, her fingertips on her new laptop, also smiling but hers wasn’t small. Then I looked at Mooch who was sniffing around on the floor, likely trying to find something to destroy with his puppy teeth. Then I looked at the girlie shelves that looked so good in Keira’s room. Then I looked at Joe.

“We’re eating at the table,” I informed them, my eyes still on Joe.

“Works for me,” Joe muttered, tilting his head and aiming the drill at the shelves.

“Me too,” Kate put in.

“Me three!” Keira added.

The drill whirred. I shook my head and left the room, going to Kate’s room to see she had black lacquered shelves and desk; a sleek, shiny black laptop; and a leopard print, furry beanbag. She’d already re-decorated, moving books and knick knacks she’d had piled on her dresser and nightstand to her new shelves and desk and rearranging posters.

This looked good too.

Though she’d need more books and knick knacks to fill it out.

I smiled as I walked to the kitchen. I made dinner with Mooch helping me (partly because I think he was afraid of the drill, partly because he knew I’d feed him scraps). We ate at the table. I did the dishes while the girls played with their laptops and did more redecorating. When I was done with the dishes, Joe showed me around the new computer in the study that already had four users programmed in it, the names all in a column, starting with “Joe” on top, “Violet” under that then “Kate” then “Keira”. Something about our names all in a column on the family computer struck me. It was a good hit. So good, I wondered why anyone on earth would need drugs. You could get high just having a family.

Later we climbed into the Mustang and went to Fulsham’s Frozen Custard Stand. Joe and I got cones, the girls got turtle sundaes. While we ate them, Joe and Kate sat side by side on the top of a picnic table outside while Keira sat on the seat by Kate’s feet and I sat on the seat by Joe’s feet, my back leaning into his legs.

I listened to Kate and Keira talk to Joe, Joe not saying much, Keira talking most but both Kate and Keira including him. Kate talking about her music and Keira talking about Joe’s house.

While I listened I noticed people looking at us. They didn’t stare but their curiosity was obvious. It was hot and muggy; we needed a storm to erase the humidity but hadn’t had one in days. Because of this, and summer coming to an end, school starting soon, the Stand was busy, tons of kids, some couples, more families. Studying our onlookers, I noticed Joe was the focal point of their curiosity, the girls and I too but not so much. It was clearly a sight to see, Lone Wolf Joe Callahan out with a woman and her two teenage daughters.

Again, this disturbed me. I couldn’t put my finger on why and I told myself eventually it would go away, people would get used to us and that bad feeling I got would fade.

We went back home and the girls went to their rooms and back to their new toys. Joe went to the fridge, opened a bottle of white wine, poured a glass for me, got himself a beer and we went out to the deck. He pulled the chairs to the railing and we sat, side by side, our knees cocked, feet up on the railing, sipping wine and beer and I figured, since I loved him, since we’d had a good night and since this was us, it was good and this was going to be the way it was, I needed to know more about Joe.

So I asked Joe questions.

He didn’t hesitate with any of his responses. Including the scary ones, such as him getting the scar on his belly a long time ago when he was a bouncer and some drunk guy slashed him with a knife.

At my indrawn breath, Joe murmured in a gentle voice, “It wasn’t deep, baby, didn’t cause any harm.”

I didn’t point out that it did, seeing as it left a scar. I just asked about the other one.

That one was scarier, seeing as it was a scar from a bullet wound Joe got while bodyguarding. He didn’t say who he was guarding, apparently this was secret information and if he told me, he’d have to kill me (though Joe didn’t explain it that way, he just said. “Can’t tell you, Vi, so don’t ask.”).

What he did say was, “After that, focused on the systems. Dyin’ young to protect assholes I didn’t like fucked with my plan for retirement.”

This was funny, Joe cracking another joke, and I laughed but I also leaned to the side, putting my head on Joe’s shoulder and dropping my legs so they rested against his. In return, Joe slid an arm along my shoulders and pulled me closer. The chair handle bit into my side but I didn’t care. Bobbie had some lawn furniture that almost matched mine and there was a loveseat-style piece so I decided, since I didn’t have to pay a mortgage anymore, and since I liked sitting outside with Joe, our knees cocked, feet to the railing, I was going to buy it.

While we did this, I thought that it was good Joe was wise and he had a plan for retirement. If he’d been gung ho macho, taking these jobs just for the money and the thrill and not thinking about his future, he might not be there, on my deck, drinking beer with me at his side and my girls in the house.

And I liked him there.

But I’d like it better once I bought that loveseat.

After the scary portion of the evening’s conversation was over, Joe got up and got himself another beer, refilled my wine and he came back. Then we made plans to ask Lindy to come to dinner so the girls and I could meet her and we talked about the upcoming visit from my in-laws, something Joe didn’t seem all that concerned about.

“They’re people Vi, they got two choices, they like me or they don’t. I deal either way. They’re good people, even if they don’t, they won’t make it your problem or the girls’.”

He was right, they had two choices and, knowing Bea and Gary, they wouldn’t make it my problem or the girls’ if they didn’t like Joe.

The girls came out and said goodnight, first Keira who patted Joe on the arm but gave me her usual kiss. Then Kate who gave me a kiss but didn’t touch Joe, she just said, “’Night, Joe,” to which he muttered, “Sweet dreams, girl,” which made her look at me in that startled way the girls looked whenever Joe did something affectionate but, startled or not, one day I figured they too would get used to being around an affectionate Joe.

Joe and I sat quiet for awhile and this would have been nice if my mind didn’t wander to Mike wondering what he was doing, wondering if he was okay. I was also thinking how much it sucked that our situation wasn’t one where we could shift to friends and I could call him, just to talk. I liked talking to him (amongst other things) and I didn’t like that I no longer could do it. He didn’t say that wasn’t cool but I knew in my heart it wasn’t. I was happy with my decision and I knew I’d made the right one. But that didn’t mean I didn’t miss Mike.

However, I didn’t share this with Joe.

Then Joe and I went to bed and I figured, both of us being in a mellow mood, having a good night, he’d feel in the mood to make love and I was looking forward to it.

He wasn’t. He was in the mood to fuck me, rough and hard, both of us on our knees, Joe behind me, his fingers between my legs, the fingers of his other hand working my nipple. I was mostly up, bent slightly, my hand holding onto the headboard, my other hand covering his at my breast and I was trying not to be too loud when he made me come. By some miracle, I managed this and luckily Joe had my neck to stifle his groan when he climaxed.

After, Joe kept me where I was and stayed buried inside me.

“You got the sweetest cunt I’ve ever had, buddy,” he whispered in my ear, sliding out and gliding back in.

It wasn’t the most flowery compliment in the history of man but, from Joe, who stayed planted and was filling me with his big cock, it worked really well.

“I like your cock too,” I whispered back and I felt him smile against my neck.

“Know that, Vi. Every time I fuck you, you act like it’s been years since I’ve been inside you.”

I twisted my neck to look at him and his head came up.

“You don’t have to be conceited about it.”

He pressed in deeper, heard my soft gasp and chuckled. “Baby, you don’t want me to be conceited, maybe you should stop doin’ shit like that.”

I sighed, too mellow to have a tiff, even a light-hearted one.

Joe kissed my neck and then he pulled out. We settled in our usual position, the one with my head in his chest, and his fingertips roamed my ass and hip while I listened to his heartbeat and fell asleep.

I didn’t have the nightmare that night either.

Thursday I got home from work and barely got inside the door before Joe and the girls hustled me right back out.

Back to school shopping.

I didn’t ask why Joe came with us, I was just glad he did.

We had dinner at a restaurant outside the mall then we went inside the mall and the girls bought some new outfits for school; they bought Joe his new shirt (which he didn’t try on but luckily it fit him); and I bought gifts for Bea and Gary, some new frames to replace the ones I broke and a few little nothings to send up to Mel in an effort to brighten her day.

Joe didn’t pay for the shirt or the gifts for Bea, Gary and Mel but he paid for some of the girls’ clothes and the frames even though I tried to pay. We had words right in front of the clerks in four different stores. Each time my fearless Keira waded in, twice taking my credit card and handing it to the clerk, twice taking Joe’s. Neither Joe nor I could protest because this was Keira, what could we say?

While we were walking to the car, Joe used his arm around my shoulders to pull me close as he said in my ear. “Keirry’s a natural diplomat.”

He sounded proud, so proud I couldn’t stop myself from turning my head and kissing his neck. He gave me a squeeze in return.

When we got home, inexplicably, Joe slowed as we drove in front of the house then he stopped on the street.

I looked at him and his head was turned toward the house.

“Joe, what –”

I stopped when I looked at the house too, saw my yard and gasped in outrage. In now dead grass, the word “bitch” could clearly be seen. I hadn’t driven in front of the house that day or the day before for that matter and obviously Joe nor the girls had seen it.

Then Joe exploded, “That fuckin’ cunt!”

Both girls gasped, I jumped and Joe accelerated the Mustang off the street and into our drive so fast I knew he was beyond pissed and it probably wasn’t the time to inform him that the c-word in front of the girls was an absolute forbidden.

Joe stopped the car, killed the ignition, opened his door and surged out of the car, stalking straight to Tina’s.

I realized at this juncture that I should probably have taken her some cupcakes.

I turned to the girls and ordered, “Go into the house.”

“Mom –” Keira started.

“House!” I demanded and then opened my door, got out and ran to Tina’s, hoping my girls would obey (Kate would, Keira, it was a crapshoot).

As I jumped the fence, Joe stopped pounding on the door, turned to look at Tina’s sporty, red Corvette in the drive then he turned away and stalked down her steps.

As he got close to me, I assured him, “I’ll talk to her.”

Joe didn’t look at me, he kept walking and I watched as he put a hand to the fence, threw his legs over it, landed on the other side, walked straight to his house, around it and then he disappeared, going to his garage.

I didn’t know what Joe had in his garage, except his Bullitt car, the hood of which I knew intimately. But I didn’t figure Joe going there was a good sign.

I also saw my girls didn’t obey, not even Kate. They were standing in the yard. Kate was staring at the grass, looking pissed. Keira was staring after Joe, looking worried.

I jogged to Tina’s door and knocked, shouting, “Tina, really, you need to open up, we need to talk before Joe gets back.”

She didn’t open the door. I knocked and called again. She still didn’t open the door. I was knocking again when Joe was suddenly there.

He pushed me to the side and went into a squat. Then he did something with little tools at her lock, the door opened, he straightened and strode right in.

I stood in stupefied silence not only because my boyfriend knew how to pick a lock but would and did until I heard Tina screech, “What the fuck? You can’t just walk into my house! I’m callin’ the cops!”

“Call ‘em, I’ll wait,” Joe replied and I rushed in to see Tina at the mouth of her hall, Joe standing in the living room in his scary as shit, sinister, arms-crossed-on-chest, badass, alpha male stance.

“You broke in!” Tina shrieked.

“Yep,” Joe agreed.

“What the fuck!” Tina repeated.

“Okay, everyone just –” I started.

Joe cut me off by ordering Tina, “Write a check. Five hundred dollars. Made out to Violet Winters and do it now.”

“You’re fuckin’ crazy?” Tina screeched.

“You do it, this is done, no more,” Joe stated. “You don’t, I’m in this war and, trust me woman, you do not want me in this war. I’m done with you, you’ll move to the next fuckin’ county.”

“Are you threatening me?” Tina snapped, leaning forward, clearly having a death wish.

“Yep,” Joe replied, calm as could be.

“You can’t break in my house and threaten me!” Tina yelled.

Joe looked around then back at Tina. “Pay attention, bitch, I just did.”

Oh Lord.

I walked across the room and got close to Joe, wrapping my hands around his bicep which was usually firm but now it was flexed and it felt like steel.

“Joe, honey, go home. I’ll talk with Tina.”

He twisted his neck and looked down at me. “Gave you that chance, buddy. I told you she fucks with your yard, we got problems.”

“But, Joe –”

“She fucked with your yard, we got problems.”

“She toilet papered my yard!” Tina shouted. “It took me hours to clean that shit up.”

Joe looked back at Tina and I could only see his profile and it scared me. She got the full face and shrank back.

“She didn’t do that to your yard, woman, she was in bed with me. You shit where you live, pissin’ people off, you gotta expect retribution. And you make a habit of shittin’ where you live. Who fuckin’ knows who did that to your yard? All I know is, it wasn’t Vi. You retaliated against the wrong person that person is my woman and your retaliation crossed a line. She can’t clean that shit up without it costin’ her and you’re gonna fuckin’ pay for it.”

“Fuck you!” Tina shouted and Joe shrugged, dropped his arms and turned away.

“So be it,” he muttered, sliding a hand along my shoulders and moving me to the door where he stopped and turned back to Tina. “I was you, I’d think about it. You got until tomorrow mornin’ to put a check in Vi’s mailbox. You don’t, it’s on. You get me?”

“I’m callin’ the cops,” Tina returned.

“You think Mike Haines and Alec Colton and the boys who work with ‘em are gonna be fired up to help you?” Joe asked, this finally penetrated and Tina’s face twisted. “Yeah,” Joe murmured as he noticed Tina was realizing maybe she should have made some friends along with all the enemies she created along the way. “Five hundred dollars, Tina, in Vi’s mailbox by nine o’clock tomorrow morning,” he finished then he turned us again and walked us out the door.

When we hit the fence, he picked me up and lifted me over setting me on my feet. Then he jumped it, took my hand and walked us to the dead grass in my yard where the girls were standing.

“It smells of bleach,” Keira informed us, Joe’s mouth got tight, Kate saw it and shoved Keira’s arm.

“All right girls, take the shopping bags in the house,” I ordered, wondering if I’d have time to do anything about my yard before Bea and Gary got there and thinking I wouldn’t considering I only had one day and I’d be working that day.

“Should we –” Kate started and I looked at her.

“House, baby,” I said softly, “we’ll worry about this tomorrow, yeah?”

She nodded, tagged Keira, they went to the Mustang, got the bags and went into the house. Joe stood staring at the word in my lawn.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Hope that check isn’t in your box, buddy,” Joe said to the yard then looked at me. “Be my pleasure to fuck with that bitch.”

I looked at his face and hoped the check was in my box. Tina was indeed a bitch and her writing the same with bleach in my beautiful grass proved it. But I reckoned no one, not even Tina, deserved the fury Joe looked ready to unleash.

“You want a beer?” I asked and Joe stared at me.

Then he shook his head but answered, “Yeah.”

We walked in the house, my arm around his waist, his around my shoulders.

“It’s just grass,” I told him softly.

He stopped us at the front door and curled me into his front. “Yeah, Vi, it’s just grass. And your brother just died. I’d have a lot more patience with her shit if it was two months ago or six months from now. She’s not gonna change but she should be human enough to pick her times. She wasn’t so I hope that check is not in your box. She needs a lesson and I’m in the mood to give her one.”

“Joe –”

His head dipped down and he touched his lips to mine before saying, “Don’t worry, baby, whatever I do won’t blow back on us.”

“But, she’s alone, Cory hasn’t been back for ages and she’s –”

He interrupted me. “A woman who needs a lesson.”

“Joe –”

“Vi, beer.”

I studied him and I knew enough to know Joe had made up his mind.

Therefore, I sighed, walked in my house and got my man a beer.

It was dark, the girls were asleep and I was cuddled into Joe’s side.

“Joe?” I called.

“Yeah, baby,” he answered.

“Scales are even,” I told him on a whisper.

“What?” he asked.

I closed my eyes, pressed closer, opened my eyes and kept whispering. “Missed Tim, missed a lot of things about him. One of those things was knowin’ there was someone who’d look out for me, the girls.” I pressed my lips together and bit them both as I felt his body grow tight then I continued. “Remember that night we met? I had to get out of bed in the middle of the night to ask Kenzie to turn down the music?”

“Baby –”

“Tim would have done that. I wouldn’t have had to put on those boots and go into the cold.”

“Vi –”

“I wouldn’t have had to leave our bed.”

He rolled into me, murmuring again, “Vi –”

“I wouldn’t have had to tromp through the snow, get cold or even get angry.”

His hands started moving on me under his tee as he whispered, “Shut up, buddy.”

“Tim always had our backs, he never let anything like that touch us. Never.”

“Vi, shut it.”

“You won’t either.”

“Shut it, Vi.”

“We had everything. Everything. Tim gave it to us. Having Nicky, you had a lot, Joe, but you never had everything so you can’t know how much it hurts to lose it.”

Joe was silent.

I kept talking. “Having it back, you giving it to us, the scales are balanced.”

He didn’t tell me to shut up again. He kissed me, not hard and greedy and demanding. No, it was long and tender and beautiful.

When he was done, he tucked my face into his throat and held me.

“Love you, Joe,” I whispered to his throat.

“Love you too, buddy. Go to sleep.”

“Okay. ‘Night, honey.”

“’Night, baby.”

It took awhile for me to sleep. It took longer for Joe. I knew this because I fell asleep before him.

It was strange I got to sleep because my mind was focused on wondering what was on his.

But I got to sleep.

And I again slept the night through without the nightmare.

The check was in the box the next morning well before nine.

Tina was a bitch but she was no fool.

Joe looked annoyed. I was relieved.

The girls were both up early. Kate had her last shift noon to four at the Custard Stand before quitting to go back to school on Monday. Keira had a full day of sunbathing and pool frolicking ahead of her at Heather’s, her last hurrah before school started. I’d gotten them up because I needed to give them instructions before I left and they started their days.

“Keirry, baby, can you clean your bathroom before you go to Heather’s?” I asked, though I didn’t expect an answer, I just expected her to complain about it then do it, so to avoid the complaining I hurriedly turned to Kate and went on. “And can you vacuum and dust before you go to work? I’ll mop the kitchen after dinner tonight but I’ll be late because I have to do the big shop for Gramma and Grandpap before I get home.”

Before Kate could agree and Keira could bitch, Joe said, “Make a list, I’ll swing by the store after I deal with the yard.”

All three pairs of Winters girls eyes went to Joe.

It was me who spoke.

“Deal with the yard?” I asked.

“Tim’s folks’ll be here tomorrow, buddy. Can’t have that word bleached into the lawn,” Joe answered.

This was true but a quick fix was virtually impossible unless you, say, killed all the grass around the letters. This was an option which held merit since I didn’t want Bea and Gary to see the lawn like that and worry. But after the care I’d taken with my lawn, it wasn’t one I liked overly much.

“How are you gonna deal with it?” I asked with curiosity.

“Dig it out. I’ll be at the garden center sometime late mornin’ to pick up some rolls of sod.”

I hadn’t thought of this option mainly because that was a lot of work, it would take a lot of time and it would cost some cake. The first one I could do, the second one, no way (making, for me, the task impossible, but not for Joe), the last one, since Joe was paying for everything, was also doable but I wasn’t used to having leftover money yet so it didn’t spring to mind.

I had thought of watering the hell out of the yard to drain away the bleach and sprinkling grass seed then watering the hell out of the yard again. This would mean the word “bitch” would be in my yard for weeks, maybe months, which sucked.

Joe’s solution was so much better.

Before I could tell him that, Keira piped up. “I’ll help you!”

My mouth dropped open. So did Kate’s.

Keira giving up sunbathing and pool frolicking to help Joe in the yard was a miracle. Such a miracle, if I was a Catholic, I’d notify the Vatican, no joke.

Again, before I could say anything, Joe, who was sitting on a stool next to Keira (Kate was behind the counter with me), reached out and wrapped a big hand around the back of her neck. Then he gently swayed her side to side.

“You’re with me, honey, we’ll have it done in no time.”

Keira beamed at Joe. Kate turned startled eyes to me. I wished I had time to lead Joe to our room and rip his clothes off.

Since I had to go to work, instead I said to Joe, “Walk me to my car?”

Joe’s eyes came to me, he nodded, gave Keira one last sway with his hand, let her go and walked me to my car.

I unlocked it, opened the door and stood in it as Joe came to stand in front of me.

Then I bunched his tee in my fist, pulled him closer, got up on tiptoe to get close to his face and whispered, “Anything you want.”

His head jerked slightly and he asked, “What?”

“Tonight, payback for the yard, payback for makin’ Keira smile like that, anything you want. You name it, I’ll do it.”

A slow smile spread on his face as his hands went to span my hips.

“That’s quite an offer, buddy.”

I got closer, both my body and my face to his and I kept whispering. “Be creative, baby, don’t know when I’ll be feelin’ this generous again.”

“Oh, I’ll be creative,” he whispered back and I felt my nipples get hard.

My hands slid up his chest and around his neck and I laid one on him, my brand of a hard and demanding kiss and Joe liked it. I knew this because his arms wrapped around me and he growled in my mouth.

“Love you, baby,” I whispered against his lips when I was done kissing him.

“Yeah, me too,” he touched his mouth to mine then said, “You get a break, make a list for the grocery store. I’ll pick it up when Keira and I come ‘round to get the sod.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll grill some brats tonight.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll get store bought shit to go with the brats. Don’t want you cookin’, you’ll need to conserve your energy.”

I shivered at what his words meant then repeated, “Okay.”

He grinned and it hit me he was grinning a lot lately. Smiling too. I liked this so I smiled back but I suspected my smile was a lot like Keira’s beam. I suspected this because Joe’s eyes dropped to my mouth, his face got intense and then he kissed me, hard and demanding.

He did it better.

When I got home that evening, the yard looked like a yard. No yellow-brown “bitch” in the middle of it. Joe and Keira did such a good job you could barely see the sod lines. And the rest of the yard had been mowed.

I walked into the house, seeing it clean and tidy. Even the kitchen was sparkling, including the floor.

I knew why when Keira came running from her bedroom, a boy band playing loud so she shouted over it, “I cleaned the kitchen!”

I smiled at her. “I can see, baby.”

“And the bathroom,” she went on as I put my purse on the counter.

“Thanks, honey.”

“Kate vacuumed and dusted and I put the pictures back in the frames,” Keira continued, pointing to the pictures which were in the frames and back on our shelves.

I looked but I didn’t look closely. I wanted them back where they were but I wasn’t ready to see pictures of Sam just yet.

Keira finished with, “Joe wanted you to put your feet up when you got home.”

I bet he did.

At this, my smile widened and the back sliding glass door opened, Joe coming through it followed by a prancing Mooch. He looked sweaty and hot seeing as he was sweating while wearing nothing but a pair of cutoff jeans and running shoes. He didn’t even have on socks.

My mouth went dry.

“Joe mowed the yard,” Keira kept the information flowing.

“Mm-hmm,” was all I could get out seeing as my eyes were still glued to a sweaty, hot-looking, cutoff jeans wearing, bare-chested Joe.

Joe came to me, curled his hand around my head and pulled me up, giving my mouth a touch with his.

“Gotta shower,” he muttered then he turned away, nabbed Keira the same way as he walked by her but he kissed the side of her head.

Keira beamed up at him. Joe grinned down at her. Then he went to our room.

Keira looked back at me. “Joe says I’m the best assistant he’s ever had. He’s gonna teach me security!”

I was trying to listen to my daughter but mostly I was thinking of Joe in the shower.

“That’s great, honey,” I muttered as I walked to the fridge and opened it in order to open a bottle of wine, thinking I should put my feet up and relax starting now. Joe probably intended to be energetic but even if he didn’t, I did.

Then I stopped and stared in my fridge which was so packed full of food, it was a wonder it didn’t explode.

“What the…”

“Oh, yeah, forgot to say, Joe and me, we went a little crazy at the grocery store,” Keira told me and I turned stiltedly to her to see she was walking back toward her room. “He said to put anything I wanted in the cart and anything you or Kate liked. So I did.”

“Keira, honey, it’ll take us a year to get through this much food,” I called after her, she stopped at the entry to the hall and turned back to me.

“Yeah. So?”

Oh Lord, she was sounding like Joe and I had no idea if this was good or bad.

I also had no reply.

Fifteen minutes later, Joe was out of the shower, dressed in tee and jeans and in the kitchen getting a beer. I was sipping my wine, waiting for him to get a beer so I could sit out on the deck while he grilled. The boy band music was gone and Keira was on her back on the couch, marathon texting some boy (or, considering the number of beeps from her phone, half a dozen of them). And Mooch was gnawing a dog toy to shit when Dane’s yellow pickup hit the drive.

Dane always took Kate to and picked her up from work. She’d been off work for over an hour and a half but this wasn’t unusual, they’d often dink around, doing their thing (what that was I did not want to know) or meeting with friends before he’d bring her home.

Therefore I wasn’t paying much attention when I heard the pickup in the drive. I was watching Joe twist the top off a beer and then toss it in the bin.

Then the front door opened and it slammed, hard and loud.

Joe’s head shot around to the door and I turned on my stool to see Kate stomp in, stop, take us all in then shout, “Never! I’m never speaking to him again! If he calls or comes to the door, I do not want to talk to him and I do not want to see him. Ever again!”

Then she burst into tears and ran to her room, slamming the door.

“Oh shit,” I muttered, my eyes going to Joe who was looking at the hall then his head swung around to the window and he watched the pickup speeding away.

I put my wineglass down, slid off the stool and announced, “I’ll go talk to her.”

I went to Kate’s room, knocked once then opened the door.

She whirled on me, face red, wet and heartbroken and screeched, “Get out!”

I walked in, murmuring, “Honey –”

“Out! Get out! Out, out, out!” Kate shrieked.

Deciding my daughter needed some alone time, I started to back out but hit solid Joe.

“Come here, girl,” Joe ordered, his voice quiet.

Oh shit.

Kate didn’t tell Joe to get out. She just glared at him which was both smart and brave.

“Katy, come here,” Joe called gently.

She took a shaky breath then walked woodenly to Joe.

He moved around me and put a hand to her neck then bent to get his face close to hers and I held my breath.

“First, don’t talk to your Mom that way. Ever. You’re pissed at Dane, we’ll talk about that in awhile. But you’re pissed, you be pissed at who you’re pissed at. You don’t take it out on your Mom or Keira or me, yeah?”

I was still holding my breath. Joe was continuing to talk in that gentle voice but I wasn’t sure he’d been around long enough to tell the girls what to do. Not that I minded, it would come to this eventually might as well be sooner rather than later. However, now he had his hand on the neck of a teenage girl in the throes of her first big fight with her first real boyfriend (or, though I hoped not, her first breakup). I was thinking now wasn’t the time to go all Dad on her.

Nevertheless, at this juncture I had to keep my peace. Tim and I had a pact, even if we disagreed with what the other was saying, we never contradicted each other in front of the girls. That talk would come later.

Joe hadn’t said anything I disagreed with so that talk wouldn’t come later but I still needed to keep my peace. He’d waded in. I just had to hope he could handle it.

Kate took a big breath, it hitched half a dozen times while she took it then she surprised me when she collapsed into Joe’s body and cried, “He’s a jerk. A total asshole! I hate him!”

I pressed my lips together and bit them as Joe’s arms went around a now sobbing Kate and his eyes came to me.

“Let’s go, honey,” he said to Kate, his eyes not leaving me.

She jerked her head back and swiped at her face. “Go? Where?”

Joe tipped his head down to look at her. “Time for you to ride in the ’68.”

“I don’t… Joe…” she took another stuttering breath and she said, “I don’t wanna take a ride, Joe.”

“Let’s go,” Joe repeated.

“Joe –” Kate began.

“Honey, let’s… go.” He was still talking gentle but this was mingled with his “I’m not going to repeat myself” tone.

Kate looked at me then at Joe then, wisely, she nodded.

He slid an arm around her shoulders and led her to the door.

“We’ll be back for me to cook the brats. Do not cook them yourself,” Joe ordered as he walked by me.

I didn’t know if he ordered this for me to conserve my energy or because he didn’t want me to ruin them. It didn’t matter either way since my mind was on the fact that I was obviously not invited on this ride in Joe’s Bullitt car and even though he seemed to be doing okay, I wasn’t sure Joe had the skills to handle this volatile situation without me being mediator.

“Joe,” I called as I followed them.

“We’ll be back in awhile,” Joe said but he didn’t look back at me as he guided Kate down the hall.

“Joe, I think –”

He looked back then and he did it to say, “In awhile, buddy.”

I bit my lips again. Then I nodded.

I stopped in the living room, my eyes following them through the windows as they walked to Joe’s house and Keira got close to me.

“Where they goin’?” she asked

“No idea,” I answered.

“Is Katy okay?” she asked.

“Nope,” I answered.

“I hope she doesn’t break up with Dane. He’s the hottest guy in school and he’s nice. That means you both have the hottest, nicest guys in school and in town. This means good things for my future because I’m up next.”

I stopped worrying because I started laughing.

Then I looked at my last born and kissed her cheek.

Then I said, “They may be hot and they may be nice but they’re also men. And men can be idiots. So it isn’t smooth sailing, honey, and it never will be.”

“I can handle it,” Keira blithely assured me, so ready for her first boyfriend it wasn’t funny.

I, on the other hand, was not ready for Keira’s first boyfriend. If my sweet, quiet, mellow Kate could throw a scene like that, Keira’s first drama would probably blow the roof off the house.

“I hope so,” I muttered then said, “let’s sit on the deck. Summer’ll be over soon, we need to get our deck time in.”

“Yeah, let me get a pop,” Keira replied.

She got her pop and her phone and I grabbed my wine. We sat on the deck and she told me about the possible boyfriends she had lined up for freshman year. She did this while she texted, lining up those possible boyfriends, multitasking.

While she did this I sipped my wine and fretted about Joe and Kate.

Thirty minutes later, the sliding glass door opened, I twisted in my seat and saw Joe with Kate tucked close to his side walking through. Her face was still red but it was dry.

Kate disengaged from Joe and came to me, bending down to give me a hug, she whispered, “Sorry, Mawdy. I was ticked.”

“That’s okay, baby,” I told her, hugging her back.

Then she let me go, threw herself in a chair and I looked at Joe.

“It’s cool,” he said calmly and walked to the grill, ordering, “Keirry, babe, help me out, yeah? Go get the brats.”

“Sure, Joe,” Keira replied, jumping up, eyeing Kate but doing as Joe asked.

“Joe’s car is the bomb,” Kate told me when the door slid closed behind Keira.

I ignored the comment and asked, “Are you okay?”

She looked away then back at me then she said, “Yeah.”

“Sure?”

She shrugged, looked at Joe who was standing by the grill, eyes on Kate, hands on hips. Then she looked at the yard.

“He messes things up with me, his loss,” Kate told the yard then sighed and looked at me. “And he loses, he loses huge.”

My eyes went to Joe, he shrugged and said, “They may be in high school, buddy, but not a lotta girls like Kate in this world. Dane doesn’t get that, he’s fucked. He’ll spend the rest of his life thinkin’ ‘bout the one who got away.”

For longer than was necessary, I stared at Joe after he finished speaking.

And I did it thinking, Fuck, but I love this man.

I sighed through that thought then looked back at my daughter.

“What’d he do?” I asked, Kate’s breathing hitched again, my eyes slid to Joe and Joe shook his head. “Forget it, I don’t wanna know,” I finished quickly.

Kate nodded and looked at the yard.

Keira returned with the brats. Joe cooked them while Keira brought out plates, cutlery, buns, condiments and bowls of store bought macaroni salad and chips.

We ate on the deck.

Tina didn’t attempt to spy which I thought was an added bonus to having a man who could be threatening and in your face (could and would).

Kate stayed silent and thoughtful throughout dinner. Keira filled the silence with chatter and I helped her. Kate did the dishes on her own, the rest of us giving her space and then she disappeared in her room.

Keira put in a movie and she and Mooch camped out in the living room.

Joe and I sat on the deck with beer and wine.

“Tell me,” I demanded.

Joe looked at me then back at the yard then he took a pull on his beer.

Finally, he spoke. “Stupid shit, Dane’s bein’ an ass. He’s about to fuck up royally, he goes ahead with this gig.”

“What gig?”

“Met a girl from Plainfield. She asked him out. Kate says she’s pretty well-known, seein’ as she puts out.”

“Oh shit,” I murmured.

Joe kept talking. “He wants a break from exclusive to test the waters but he also wants to keep Kate on a string. Kate doesn’t wanna be on a string.”

“I don’t like him anymore,” I declared and Joe looked at me.

“Won’t be anyone to like, he does this to Kate. She won’t take him back and he’ll come back, buddy, believe me.”

“She’s hung up on him, you sure she won’t take him back?”

“Yep.”

“How’re you sure?”

Joe took another pull of beer, looked at the yard and he spoke.

“Told her I been around, met my share of women, never met any like you, her or Keira. Not in thirty-nine years. Bein’ like she is, she doesn’t need to take shit. Her man doesn’t hand her the world, she throws him back and finds one who will. No dickin’ around. Told her she needs to look at her Mom and learn. You had three men in your life, all of ‘em willin’ to hand you the world. She should accept nothin’ less.” He took another pull of beer then finished. “She got my point.”

“Joe,” I called.

“Yeah?” he answered, his eyes not leaving the yard.

“Baby, look at me,” I whispered.

Joe looked at me.

I leaned into him and put a hand to his face.

“Sucks for you, you had to wait thirty-nine years,” I told him.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“But works for me,” I went on and he grinned.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll do what I can to be worth the wait,” I whispered and his eyes got intense.

“You do that, buddy,” he whispered back, “startin’ tonight.”

I smiled, leaned further in and touched my mouth to his.

Then I pulled back and whispered, “This is workin’ great.”

Joe smiled then promised, “Best is yet to come.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

He leaned in this time and touched his mouth to mine.

“Always,” he murmured.

That was good to know.

When the girls came out to the deck to say goodnight this time, they kissed me on the mouth like usual.

Then they kissed Joe on his scarred cheek.

Both of them.

The best came for Joe faster than it did for me.

We waited for the girls to be asleep before Joe showed me what being creative meant.

I thought he was already pretty creative.

I was wrong.

I decided if he ever earned payback like that again, we’d go to a hotel so I could make as much noise as I wanted.

Luckily, one time I came, my moan was muffled due to his cock being in my mouth.

The other three times, I had to get creative.

Therefore now, with my in-laws at the door about to meet my new man, you would think I’d be pretty relaxed, having had four orgasms before sleeping like a log.

And having had a good week, a topsy-turvy one but, if this was an indication of my girls and my future with Joe, I’d not only keep it, I’d take down anyone who tried to take it away from me.

Because of all that, you’d definitely think I was relaxed.

But I wasn’t relaxed.

I wasn’t relaxed at all.