At Peace

Chapter Nineteen At Peace

Vinnie preceded Cal out to the back deck and as Cal slid the door closed behind him, he looked through the window at Vi, Theresa and Bea in the kitchen vying for maternal supremacy thus control over the pancakes.

Three months ago, even knowing Vi was a strong woman and a great mother but not knowing Bea at all, Cal would have put money down on Theresa.

But after yesterday and the shit he heard coming out of Susie’s mouth when he’d walked up to them way too late, and Vi’s reaction, he knew she was no pushover and she was on her home turf.

And also Bea might be shy but the gentle, loving way she was with all his girls and the soft looks Vi, Kate and Keira aimed at her he figured she had her ways and she wasn’t exactly a dark horse. Not to mention, the woman made one hell of a chocolate cream pie.

Now he wouldn’t even place a bet, just sit back and wait for the results.

His eyes moved to Vi’s Dad Pete, who was bustling around the girls, desperate to make up for lost time. Cal found this annoying and he’d have to have a word with the man. Best way to make up for lost time was to let his granddaughters get to know who he was by acting natural around them, not shoving his nose up their asses.

Finally, his eyes moved to Gary who was sitting at the table comfortably sipping coffee. Gary had sat at that table a lot over the years. He was always welcome there and he knew it. Gary learned yesterday from watching Pete that he could let go the past bad blood. He saw that he’d been reaping the rewards of being a good Dad for seventeen years and Pete had been living the nightmare of being a coward for that same time, if not longer.

“Cal, son, we gotta talk about Hart,” Vinnie called from behind him and Cal turned from the door feeling his mouth get tight.

His eyes hit his uncle and he moved away from the door so even if someone looked out they couldn’t see him.

He rested a hip against the railing and crossed his arms on his chest while he watched his uncle reach a hand out to one of Vi’s pots of flowers that was sitting on the railing. Vinnie dropped his hand before he touched the bright, healthy flowers spilling up, out and down the sides of the pot and his eyes went to Cal.

“Vi’s good with flowers,” Vinnie remarked as his gaze took in the rest of the deck.

“Yeah,” Cal replied and watched Vinnie give him a look before Vinnie turned his head to look into the house.

“Keeps a nice house,” Vinnie went on.

“Uncle Vinnie –” Cal started to cut him off, knowing where this was going but Vinnie’s eyes came to his.

“Great girls she’s raised. Sweet kids. Funny. Smart,” Vinnie continued, not to be stopped.

Cal sighed and said nothing. He knew Vinnie needed to get this out so he let him.

“Care about you,” Vinnie noted.

“Yeah,” Cal repeated.

“The three of ‘em do,” Vinnie said.

“Yeah,” Cal repeated again.

“Theresa called Carm the minute we hit the hotel last night. She talked about Vi and those girls for two hours. Thought I’d never get to sleep,” Vinnie told him and this surprised Cal considering he hadn’t had a follow up call from Carm in order for her to bitch him out about never calling; not telling her about Vi and the girls; and to arrange her own trip where she could nose into his life and give Vi her personal seal of approval.

“Instead of sellin’ my place, should build a bridge considerin’ the Bianchis are gonna be spendin’ some time down here,” Cal quipped.

Vinnie’s eyes narrowed. “You think you can walk those girls into my Pizzeria wearin’ the suit you wore to take her to her brother’s funeral and lookin’ at her like she flies out the window on fairy wings and hangs the stars every night and not be right back in the Bianchi fold, you got another think comin’.”

Jesus. Fairy wings?

“Uncle Vinnie –” Cal started.

Vinnie cut him off. “Don’t think I’m stupid, boy. You walked them in for a reason, to give them some family back after they lost theirs.”

“Vinnie –”

“Been waitin’ seventeen years for this, Cal.”

“Uncle –”

“Longer,” Vinnie bit out. “You know, Theresa lights a candle for you every week. Every fuckin’ week. Been doin’ it for over thirty years. You know how many candles she’s lit for you?” Vinnie asked.

Cal didn’t respond.

“Too many,” Vinnie answered his own question.

“She doesn’t have to light them anymore,” Cal pointed out.

“You got Hart ridin’ your ass, she finds out, she’ll be at the church every day,” Vinnie returned.

Finally they were where he wanted their conversation to be.

“You talk to Sal?” Cal asked.

“First, I’ll say this once and that’s it. I’m happy for you. I’m happy for her. I’m happy for those girls. Never seen you like this. Not before, not with that other one. Not unless you were with Nicky and even then you weren’t like you were yesterday. You were always watchin’ her, guardin’, bracin’ for what that bitch would do next.”

Cal’s mouth got tight again as did the rest of his body. “That’s done and we’re done talkin’ about it.”

“Waited a long time to say this Cal, gonna say it only once and you’re gonna give me that,” Vinnie told him, Cal sighed again, forced his body to relax and leaned deeper into the railing, his eyes on his uncle.

“She’s smilin’, son,” Vinnie said softly and Cal closed his eyes and turned his head toward Vi’s yard. He opened his eyes when Vinnie continued. “Lookin’ down on you and Vi and those girls and Angie’s finally at peace.”

Cal clenched his teeth, pulled breath into his nose and looked back at his uncle on the exhale.

“Now you done?” Cal asked.

Vinnie stared at him. Then he grinned.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Good,” Cal replied then repeated, “you talk to Sal?”

“Yep,” Vinnie leaned against the railing too and said no more.

“And?” Cal prompted.

“He’s not big on avenging a cop,” Vinnie replied, Cal pulled in another breath in order to speak but Vinnie continued. “I haven’t told him your involvement, just said I had a friend in Vi and felt the waters ‘cause I been thinkin’ about this and I’m not big on you owin’ Sal a favor.”

“Not your choice to make,” Cal noted, “thought I made myself clear on that. And it isn’t a favor. It’s callin’ a marker.”

“Somethin’ this big, it’s a favor, Cal, and favors to men like Sal have a way of lastin’ a long time. Lived that with Vinnie Junior. Now got a lifetime of livin’ the consequences.”

Cal looked back at the yard and crossed one foot at the ankle in an effort to call up patience.

“You got skills, don’t think Sal don’t remember that shit. You tried to leverage it to pull Vinnie Junior out,” Vinnie reminded him and Cal’s eyes cut to his uncle.

“Took a bullet for Sal, Uncle Vinnie,” Cal had his own memories to share.

“He hasn’t forgotten,” Vinnie muttered.

“He owes me, he owes you. You remind him of that?” Cal asked.

“He don’t need reminding,” Vinnie answered.

“Then what the fuck?” Cal asked.

Vinnie took two steps toward Cal, stopped and whispered, “You’re talkin’ a hit, son.”

“Yeah, I am. I took a hit and Vinnie took the ultimate hit. Your nephew, your son. He owes you, he owes me,” Cal repeated.

“He’ll want a return,” Vinnie said.

“He’s already fuckin’ had it,” Cal replied, uncrossing his arms and thumping his fist on his chest under his shoulder where his bullet scar was and then thumping his uncle over the heart.

“You’re talkin’ a hit,” Vinnie repeated.

“You already said that,” Cal told him.

Vinnie’s brows went up. “You can live with that?”

“Yep,” Cal returned, “absolutely.”

“The cops are closin’ in,” Vinnie explained.

“They been closin’ in on Hart for the last decade,” Cal clipped.

“You’ll carry that mark on your soul –” Vinnie started but stopped when Cal leaned forward and threw an arm out toward the house.

“He put a bullet it Katy and Keirry’s father’s brain,” Cal ground out, “blew his fuckin’ head off. I was here when Vi found out he did the same to her brother and she fuckin’ unraveled. I watched it, Vinnie. I held her in my arms and fucking watched it. That’s all I could do. No control. No power. He took that from her and he fuckin’ took it from me. I stood next to her when she told her girls their uncle was gone and Keira couldn’t even keep her fuckin’ feet, man. It took about thirty seconds longer before Kate collapsed and she did it in my arms too. I was fuckin’ there, Vinnie. Hart wants her enough to take them both out. You think that asshole isn’t gonna be aimin’ at me?”

“You can take care of yourself. I been askin’ around. The brother didn’t know what the fuck he was doin’,” Vinnie pointed out. “He should never –”

Cal cut him off. “Tim was a cop, Colt says a good one. You gonna tell me he didn’t know what he was doin’?”

“I –”

“You don’t talk to Sal, I will,” Cal interrupted his uncle.

“Cal, you don’t want to owe that man,” Vinnie warned.

“He owes me. He got my blood and he got my cousin. He knows that,” Cal shot back.

“Cal –”

Cal leaned back an inch. “What the fuck is this? Why are you –?”

Vinnie’s torso moved forward two inches. “I lost one boy to him. You think I’m fired up to lose two?”

Cal shook his head angrily. “Jesus, Uncle Vinnie. I’m not gonna fuckin’ work for him.”

“He’s persuasive,” Vinnie returned.

Cal pointed to the house again. “Nothin’ would persuade me to jeopardize that.”

“Yeah, and Vinnie Junior had Francesca and he looked at her like she hung the stars and he wanted to give her everything. So he went out to find a way to do that. Easy way is Sal.”

“He was twenty-five,” Cal reminded him.

“He was in love,” Vinnie retorted, jerking his head to the house to make his point.

“Don’t pin that shit on Frankie,” Cal clipped. “You been singin’ that song way too long and you know that shit’s not right,” Vinnie pressed his lips together and looked away but looked back when Cal kept talking. “I got a business, I got money, I don’t need that shit.”

“For fuck’s sake, Cal, you nearly took her Dad down for buyin’ Keirry a CD!” Vinnie’s voice was rising. “Vi hangs the stars for you and I know you. You’re a Callahan. You’re a Bianchi. You’ll wanna hand her the moon.”

“I’ve already handed her the moon, Vinnie,” Cal told him and Vinnie jerked back.

“What?”

Cal didn’t repeat himself and he wasn’t about to explain. “And I was pissed at Pete because he’s up in the girls’ faces and he bought Keira a fuckin’ boy band CD and I live in this house. I gotta listen to that shit.”

Vinnie stared at him a second before he burst out laughing.

Cal didn’t laugh.

“I’m not twenty-five anymore, Uncle Vinnie and I’m not Vinnie Junior,” Cal stated.

Vinnie stopped laughing because he knew what Cal was saying. Vinnie Junior and Cal had a lot in common with everything. They both thought they found what they wanted at a young age and they both gave up everything for it. Cal wanted Bonnie and he wanted a family and he did everything to make that real. Vinnie wanted it all but most of all he wanted Frankie and he wanted to prove to her that he was worth her love.

But that was then. This was now.

Cal had learned the hard way that if you found something good, you didn’t have to give up anything. If it was good, you got everything you needed without giving up shit. Vinnie Junior hadn’t lived to learn that lesson because that lesson killed him. He hadn’t lived long enough to learn that Frankie loved him if he could hand her the moon or if he was making pizzas.

Vinnie Junior never got that and Vinnie Senior never admitted out loud that his son made mistakes with the choices he made in his life and the way he’d fucked up everything for himself and for Frankie.

“You unleash Sal or I do it. One of us calls the marker,” Cal ordered. “And we do it for Vi and, I’m tellin’ you in case you haven’t figured it out yet bein’ around her and those girls, there’s no better fuckin’ reason to do it. Daniel Hart took away her man, her kids’ father and her brother. They were tight. All of them. He could have destroyed her. He could have brought her low. He could have changed those girls. He could have made her Bonnie. He keeps goin’ –”

Vinnie cut him off. “I’ll call the marker.”

Cal crossed his arms back on his chest, demanding, “Do it now.”

“Now?” Vinnie asked.

“Right now,” Cal said.

“But…” Vinnie looked toward the house then back at Cal, “pancakes.”

“Now,” Cal repeated.

Vinnie stared at him and Cal held his stare.

Then Vinnie pulled his phone out of his shirt pocket.

“Christ, son,” he muttered on a sigh.

“He needs to have a word with me, I’m standin’ right here,” Cal offered.

Vinnie looked to the heavens. Then he flipped open his phone. Then he called Sal.

The door slid open and both men’s heads jerked that way to see Kate walking out, Cal’s phone in her hand.

“Hey, Joe,” she said as Vinnie smiled at her and then wandered down the deck steps and out into the wet grass. “Colt’s on your phone.”

Cal took his phone from her when she got close. Then he lifted his other hand and tugged gently at her hair.

“Thanks, girl,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” she grinned, glanced at Vinnie who was now several feet into the yard, his back to the deck, his head bent, his hand to his hip and his other hand to his ear. Kate turned and skipped back to the door, went inside and closed it behind her.

Cal put the phone to his ear.

“Yo.”

“Need you at the Station, man,” Colt said without greeting and Cal’s back went straight as a bad feeling hit his gut.

“Why?” he asked.

“How soon can you get here?” Colt asked.

“Why?” Cal repeated, losing patience.

“You need a brief,” Colt explained.

“About?” Cal prompted.

“Some things you need to know. Some new things have happened,” Colt told him.

“Hart?” Cal asked.

“Yep,” Colt answered.

“Fuck,” Cal bit off.

“You had a bunch of cars in your drive yesterday. You guys still have company or do I have to send out a squad?” Colt asked casually but this question wasn’t casual. This question set that bad feeling in his gut to toxic.

“We got company,” Cal said and looked at Vinnie, “but send a squad.”

“Right,” Colt muttered. “He’ll be unobtrusive,” Colt assured him.

“Don’t care if he sits in the fuckin’ driveway,” Cal replied as he walked to the sliding glass doors, “just want him here before I go.”

“Copy that,” Colt said and Cal flipped his phone closed.

He whistled and Vinnie jerked around to look at him. Cal lifted his hand and flicked his finger in the air. Vinnie nodded. Cal turned, slid open the door and walked through, wracking his brain as to what he’d say to Vi to explain his needing to go to the Station.

Then he slid the door closed behind him.

Dad, Gary and Uncle Vinnie were outside in the front yard inspecting the sod Joe and Keira had laid. I was sitting in the living room with Bea and Aunt Theresa. We were sipping coffee with the girls on the floor playing with Mooch. I was thinking about Joe’s hasty exit which he vaguely explained and also thinking about the squad car that was parked across the street, the fact that it slid up and stopped before Joe kissed me and walked out the door and the fact that it didn’t move an inch in the ten minutes Joe had been gone.

These thoughts exited my head when Aunt Theresa picked up her big, mailbag sized purse and plopped it on her lap.

“Who knows how long Cal’ll be gone, gotta get this done,” Aunt Theresa muttered, sounding distracted but in a businesslike way and I looked at her then at Bea then at the girls.

“What done?” Keira asked but Aunt Theresa didn’t look up from rummaging around in her small-piece-of-luggage-sized purse.

“You find the time but you find it to give him this,” she ordered oddly. “It’s time Cal had Nicky back.”

I sucked in breath at her words and my eyes flew to Kate but Kate and Keira were both staring at Aunt Theresa’s bag.

“Who’s Nicky?” Bea whispered.

“Cal’s son,” Aunt Theresa answered without even a little ado then went on still without any, “died when he was a baby. Stupid skank of a wife left him in the bath. Drowned…” Bea gasped and her eyes came to me but Aunt Theresa pulled out a big square thing wrapped in a black scarf and turned to me. Whipping off the scarf, she announced, “Nicky.”

Then she handed me a photo frame.

Automatically my hand reached out and I took it. Then I brought it toward me and stared.

In it was Joe sitting on one of the benches just inside Vinnie’s Pizzeria. There was no one sitting with him. He was alone and in profile, the scarred side of his much younger face to the camera.

It was a black and white but the sun was shining through the windows of the door and it gleamed against the highly polished wood all around Joe. His shoulders were to the high back of the bench, his legs were stretched straight in front of him, his feet crossed at the ankles.

Smack in the center of his big chest was a little baby, Joe’s arm curved around his baby bottom, the baby tucked in that baby ball only babies could make. His baby knees under him, his baby booty in the air.

The baby was asleep, his face turned toward the camera, his cheek on Joe’s chest, his little baby fist also resting on Joe’s chest close to his beautiful little baby face.

Joe’s head was leaning back against the bench, his eyes closed. He looked asleep too. Even if he was asleep, the way he had his son nestled against his chest, safe in the protection of his powerful arm, his bicep stretching the material of his ever-present t-shirt tight, screamed the fact that Joe would allow nothing to hurt his boy, asleep, awake, ever.

Unless he wasn’t there.

Which, when something hurt his son, he wasn’t.

I stared at Joe’s profile. He didn’t look happy, he looked at peace and that peace had nothing to do with sleep.

Father and son taking a catnap at the family Pizzeria.

God, but they were beautiful.

Silent tears slid down my cheeks.

“I don’t know if he has photos,” Aunt Theresa said. “He wasn’t around much after so we didn’t come down much and then we stopped because he was never around at all.”

Kate and Keira had scooted to me and then they surrounded me. Both put a hand to the photo and I felt Bea lean in.

“I got tons of pictures of him. Some with the skank in and Manny says he can scan them and do somethin’ called ‘Photoshop’ her out. But I figure Cal’ll know she was there and I don’t want him to have that reminder of her with him and Nicky,” Aunt Theresa said, still businesslike, even brusque and I knew she had to be because if she wasn’t at that moment she’d be a mess just like me.

“No,” I choked, my eyes still riveted to the picture, “no, you’re right. Bonnie doesn’t get that.”

“But enough time has passed. Nicky needs to come home,” Aunt Theresa declared. “So we’ll start with that one and, later, I’ll give you the rest.”

“Yes,” I whispered, the tears still sliding down my cheeks, “Nicky needs to come home.”

And I knew where Nicky would live. By Tim and Sam on our shelves. Tim and Sam would take care of him. They’d always be together and they’d always be with us.

“That Joe’s boy?” Kate whispered from beside me and I nodded then turned my head to my daughter and, as hers was so close, I leaned in and kissed her hair. Then I inhaled its scent and I memorized it even though I already had it memorized.

“Yeesh,” Keira breathed, “Joe’s even hot holdin’ a baby.”

“Keira!” Kate snapped but a short giggle came out of me and I turned to my youngest and kissed her hair too.

“Can I see?” Bea asked softly and me and my girls turned to her.

“Yeah,” I said softly back, handed her the frame and wiped the tears from my cheeks

She took it and bent her head to study it.

Then, her eyes not leaving the photo, she whispered, “He lost his son.”

It hit me belatedly that this was something they shared and it hit hard and sharp, piercing my heart.

“Bea,” I murmured, my hand moving to curl around her leg and Keira shifted to sit on the floor at her feet where she leaned in and put her cheek to her Gramma’s knee.

Bea settled a hand on Keira’s hair as Kate moved around the back of the couch to sit on the armrest by Bea and she leaned in to put her cheek to the top of her Gramma’s head.

Bea’s eyes moved to me.

“I know how that feels,” she said quietly.

“I know you do,” I said on a throaty whisper as fresh tears hit my cheeks.

“I had mine longer, though,” she went on and her gaze went to Theresa, “he had time to give me my babies.”

“Yes, cara, count your blessings even through your loss,” Aunt Theresa advised gently, knowing, too, what it felt like to lose a son.

Bea looked at me and handed back the picture.

“I like him, hon,” she said quietly, “but…”

“What, Bea?” I prompted when she stopped talking.

“You think he liked my pie?” she asked.

I felt my brows inch together at her strange question and Kate’s head came up but her arm slid around her Gramma and she gave her a squeeze.

“He loved your pie, Gram.”

“Yeah,” Keira affirmed, looking up at Bea, “he had another piece after you left.”

“He did?” Bea asked her voice weirdly hopeful.

“Yeah,” Keira answered, smiling, “he did.”

Bea looked at me again. “You think…?” she started then stopped.

“Think what, Bea?” I asked.

Bea looked down at Keira and touched her face.

“Nothin’.”

“Family’s family,” Aunt Theresa piped up and everyone looked at her but Theresa was looking at Bea. “Family’s family,” Theresa repeated.

“Does Joe think that?” Bea asked Theresa, I looked back at her and finally got it.

I squeezed Bea’s leg and leaned toward her. “You’re a part of our lives.” I whispered.

“But he won’t want to be reminded –” she started and I laughed.

“Bea!” I leaned in further. “Katy and Keirry look exactly like Tim.” I lifted my hand and gestured to the pictures of Tim all over our shelves. “He’s everywhere. He’ll be everywhere,” I touched Keira’s hair and finished, “forever.”

“Family’s family,” Theresa repeated firmly but Bea still looked unsure.

“I’ll never forget Tim, Bea,” I promised. “I don’t want to, I couldn’t lose that, couldn’t lose him, everything we were, everything he gave me, us. I’ll never lose Tim and Joe wouldn’t want me to. He’d never ask that. And he’d never want me to lose you. He knows what you mean to me, the girls, he’d never ask that either.”

“You tell him, he likes my pie, I’ll make it every time we come visit,” Bea promised back.

“Come with your pie, without your pie, he won’t care. Only thing that would piss him off is if you didn’t come thinkin’ you couldn’t because of him.”

Bea licked her bottom lip. Then she whispered, “Tim would like him.”

This was freaky weird, uncomfortable and heartbreakingly sad. It was also true.

“Yeah,” I whispered back.

“You can make your pie for me,” Keira put in, trying to lighten the mood.

“And me,” Kate said, “but I vote strawberry next time.”

“Sugar cream,” Keira placed her own vote.

“I’m thinking butterscotch,” Bea stated.

“Next time I’ll bring my cannoli,” Aunt Theresa declared.

“Shit, I’m gonna get fat,” I muttered and Bea laughed.

“From what I can see, hon, fat, skinny, your hair can fall out and Joe won’t care,” she said.

This was true too.

“Yeah,” I smiled at her.

She smiled back then it wobbled. “Just like Tim,” she whispered.

My smile wobbled too. “Just like Tim.”

Kate put her cheek to her Gramma’s hair. Keira put hers to her Gramma’s knee. I curled Joe and Nicky tight to my chest and looked at Theresa.

“I’ll give him Nicky, soon’s I can,” I promised.

Aunt Theresa’s eyes slid through Bea, Kate and Keira then back to me.

“Grazie cara mia,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome,” I whispered back, got up, bent in, kissed Aunt Theresa’s cheek and then took Nicky and Joe to our bedroom and tucked them safe in my lingerie drawer.

When Cal hit the top of the steps at the Station he saw Colt, Sully and Mike Haines in the bullpen all of them standing around a desk he knew was Colt’s. He knew this because he’d been there before but even if he hadn’t, he’d know it because it had three framed pictures on it. One was of Colt and Feb at J&J’s, Colt seated on his usual stool, Feb standing between his legs, they were pressed close, both of them laughing. One was like a picture Vi had on her shelves. Feb was laying in a hospital bed, newborn baby Jack in her arms, her face pale and tired, Colt was lying on the covers in the bed with her, his arm around her shoulders, his other hand on Jack’s diapered bottom. The last was recent, taken at the barbeque, Colt and Feb standing, Colt had Jack in one arm, his other around Feb, Feb had a gray cat in one arm, her other around Colt and their puppy was sitting on Colt’s foot, his tongue lolling out. They were all smiling, even baby Jack and the puppy looked like they were smiling although the cat looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there.

Happy family and about fucking time.

“Yo,” he said as Colt unfolded from his chair and Sully and Haines locked eyes on him.

Cal tipped his chin to Haines and watched Haines’s jaw get hard. That toxic feeling in his gut churned because he didn’t figure Haines was a man to hold a grudge but if he was Cal didn’t figure he was stupid enough to give away his power by letting on that he did. His jaw was hard because of something else.

“Yo, Cal,” Colt said quietly and that toxic feeling churned deeper. Cal knew Colt was gentle with women, otherwise he wasn’t loud but he also wasn’t quiet.

Cal stopped at their huddle.

“You gave me nothin’ on the phone, Colt. Don’t make me wait,” Cal stated.

“Gotta explain somethin’ first,” Colt was still being quiet, his eyes watchful and Cal noted that he was more than his usual alert and so were Sully and Haines.

“Do it fast,” Cal demanded low.

“First, you gotta know Mike’s here for a reason and it’s a good one,” Colt said and Cal nodded. He didn’t like this at all and it wasn’t getting any better.

“Second, you and me had a conversation on your deck awhile back, you remember?” Colt asked.

“I remember,” Cal answered, his eyes locked on Colt.

“That’s between you and me,” Colt said still talking quiet.

“It is then why we talkin’ about it now?” Cal asked and jerked his head to Sully and Haines.

“Because of that conversation, I made a decision that night that you aren’t gonna like,” Colt replied and Cal felt Sully and Haines both close in. They only moved slightly, it was their increased vigilance that filled their huddle like a physical presence.

That poison agitated even deeper in his gut. “Colt –”

“I didn’t know things would change, I didn’t know they’d do it as fast as they did and, sorry, man, but once they did, I couldn’t be sure it’d take,” Colt went on.

“What the fuck?” Cal asked.

“Vi’s been getting gifts,” Sully said quickly and Cal’s eyes sliced to him.

“I know,” Cal told him.

“Every day for nearly three months,” Haines put in and Cal took a step back in order to put distance between him and his friends so he could get control.

This took some doing but when he accomplished it, he whispered, “What?”

“I didn’t know either, Cal,” Haines bit off and his eyes cut to Colt and Cal knew that Colt had been having an uncomfortable morning.

Cal’s eyes cut to Colt too and he ground out, “Explain.”

“You two were focused on Vi and I needed focus on the problem,” Colt said.

“So you kept this shit from me?” Cal asked, now his voice was quiet but it was a different kind of quiet from Colt’s.

“I made a call,” Colt stated.

“It was the wrong one,” Cal clipped.

“You disappeared for over two months, man, remember?” Colt shot back.

“I wouldn’t have, I knew she was gettin’ gifts,” Cal returned.

“Bullshit,” Colt muttered.

Cal moved and Sully moved too, coming between Colt and Cal.

“Not gonna help things, Cal, you know that. Stand down and listen,” Sully said softly.

Cal’s eyes were over Sully’s shoulder and on Colt.

“Haines was here, why’d you keep it from him?” Cal asked.

“Focus,” Colt answered.

“You are so full of shit,” Cal bit off.

“Fuck it, Cal, you’re talkin’ to a man who knows what losin’ focus means!” Colt snapped. “I let Feb talk me out of protective custody the day we shoulda gone into custody, the day before my woman, fuck, my women got kidnapped and taken hostage. One of them was shot. Another one spent months in counseling. That day one man got dead, another man shot, another man shot and hacked to shit. It coulda been worse. I know the importance of keepin’ fuckin’ focus.” It sucked but Cal had to give him that and Colt went on. “Neither of you had it. Sully and I do.”

Cal stared at Colt then stepped back. Sully stepped away. Haines pulled in a breath and let it out.

“Keep goin’,” Cal growled.

“Things have changed,” Colt explained.

“Yeah? How?” Cal demanded to know.

“Gifts stopped,” Sully said.

“When?” Cal asked.

“Day the brother was murdered,” Colt told him.

“But he’s still active?” Cal pushed and they all looked at him.

Then Haines moved. Leaning into Colt’s desk he slid a manila envelope off it and handed it to Cal. Cal took it and Haines started talking.

“Got that in my mail at home yesterday,” Haines said.

Cal looked from Haines to the envelope.

“It been printed?” Cal asked.

“Yeah,” Haines replied.

“Get anything?” Cal went on, knowing the answer.

“Nope,” Haines gave him the answer he knew.

Cal opened the envelope, pulled out a picture, looked at it and felt his mouth get tight.

It was black and white, taken with a telephoto no doubt, Haines and Vi standing by Vi’s Mustang. Haines had his hands at her jaws, his head bent forward, Vi’s head was bent back and they were kissing.

Scrawled on the bottom of the photo in black marker was “Make sure this was good-bye”.

Colt twisted and took another envelope from his desk and handed it to Cal.

“I got that in my mail yesterday too,” he said, “it’s been printed.”

Cal opened the envelope and slid out another picture. It was black and white and it was of Vi and him two days ago standing in the drive in the door of her Mustang. It was when she told him she’d do anything he wanted. They were in a tight clinch, mouths locked, going at it.

Scrawled across the bottom of that photo was “Tell him he’s gone or he’s next”.

Cal closed his eyes and muttered, “Fuck.”

“Open threats,” Sully said, “new.”

“Barry Pryor know about these?” Cal asked, leaning around Colt and tossing the photos on his desk.

“Yep,” Colt said.

“What’s he think?”

“Thinks you and Vi and the girls should consider protective custody,” Colt replied.

Cal’s brows went up. “You offerin’ that?”

Colt bit his lower lip, something he did when he was pissed. Sully shuffled his feet. Haines made a noise like a growl.

“Talked to the Chief. Don’t have the resources,” Colt told him.

“So it’s vigilance,” Cal deduced.

“Squads on the street, escorts for you, Vi and the girls,” Sully said.

“You got the resources for that?” Cal asked.

“Nope, just talked to the crew. They’re in. It won’t be constant but they’ll do what they can,” Colt’s eyes caught Cal’s. “Chief doesn’t need to know,” Colt shared.

“You got a gun?” Haines asked.

“Yeah, but it’s not sittin’ out in the open with Vi and her girls,” Cal answered.

“Her girls are old enough to know better,” Sully put in.

“Still not doin’ it,” Cal stated.

“Man, their Dad was a cop. They gotta be used to it,” Haines noted.

“Yeah, maybe with Tim they were used to it. With me they aren’t and I make my gun visible, they’ll know somethin’s up,” Cal returned.

“You aren’t gonna tell them?” Colt asked, his voice surprised.

“Fuck no,” Cal answered.

“You’re shittin’ me,” Haines muttered.

“You’d tell them?” Cal asked and Haines held his gaze then a muscle jumped in his jaw. “That’s what I thought,” Cal said quietly.

“Gonna be hard to give them escorts if you don’t tell them,” Sully pointed out.

“They won’t have escorts, they’ll have tails and it’ll be up to you and your crew to keep themselves invisible,” Cal replied.

“Cal, I can see you wanna keep Kate and Keira in the dark, feelin’ safe, but Vi –” Colt started and Cal looked at him.

“Her brother was murdered three weeks ago, Colt. You think I should go home, tell her someone’s taking photos and makin’ threats? Against Mike? Against me? After Sam was killed she had nightmares. Bad ones. They’re gone now. Now you want her to try to sleep knowin’ that? To let her girls go to school? Me go to the store? Mike’s a father, it didn’t end bad between them, it just ended. She cares about him. You think she’ll be okay with thinkin’ she brought this shit into his life?”

Colt lifted a hand. “All right, Cal, I get it.”

No one said a word for awhile until Sully ended the silence.

“So now what do we do?” Sully muttered.

“Cal backs off,” Haines said and Cal’s eyes sliced to him.

“Come again?” he asked dangerously.

“You’ll explain things to her after the Chicago PD takes him down,” Haines went on.

“You think he should move out?” Colt asked incredulously.

“I think we make Hart think his threats worked,” Mike explained. “Keep Cal safe. Keep an eye on Vi. Pryor says he’s close.”

“Close with what?” Cal growled.

Mike’s eyes caught Cal’s. “Tax evasion.”

“Jesus Christ,” Cal bit out, “that’s a fuckin’ joke.”

“They got a lock on a second set of books,” Mike returned.

“A lock?” Cal asked. “They don’t even fuckin’ have the books?”

“The Feds are involved now,” Colt explained, “they’re makin’ deals.”

Cal shook his head. “You want me to leave Vi and the girls for tax evasion?” Cal returned, knowing Mike’s game. He didn’t want Cal safe. He wanted Cal to leave Vi. “They get him he’s bonded out in hours.”

“Odds are, they’ll hold him without bail,” Colt noted.

“He’s got money, he’s got lawyers, in his business he knows this shit could happen any time. He’ll be prepared,” Cal told Colt.

“They set bail, it’ll be set high,” Sully noted.

“He’ll be out,” Cal shot back.

“Like I said, Cal, you explain it to her after it’s done,” Haines repeated.

Cal turned fully to Haines. “Last night she stood in the kitchen in my arms giggling herself stupid. You think after she’s walked through two years of hell, I get her to the point of giggling herself stupid, I’m gonna rip that away for tax evasion, you’re fuckin’ whacked,” Cal returned and now Haines’s jaw was hard for another reason, his hands were clenched and his body was solid.

Haines glared at Cal. Cal scowled back.

“Boys,” Sully mumbled, Cal looked away from Haines and saw Colt and Sully both were on alert.

“Security, vigilance, tails,” Cal declared. “I’ll keep my gun where I can get it and carry when I’m not with Vi and the girls.”

“You got a permit to carry concealed?” Sully asked.

“Man, do you know what my job is? I got a concealed permit in forty-seven states,” Cal answered.

“Right,” Sully muttered, his eyes slid to Colt and his lips twitched.

Cal did not find anything funny and his eyes hit Colt.

“He’s gettin’ impatient and he’s gonna fuck up. Every man standin’ here knows that. Your job is to make sure he doesn’t fuck up with Vi, Kate or Keira in his crosshairs.”

“You need to stick to town, not go out on a job,” Mike put in, losing his bid to get Cal out of Vi’s house he was changing his tune and Cal’s eyes cut to him.

“Yeah, Mike. Thanks for that head’s up,” Cal’s sarcasm was obvious and Mike straightened.

“We’re all on the same side here,” Sully noted as the air around Cal and Haines again grew heavy.

Cal speared Sully with a glance and looked at Colt.

“You got the gifts or you send them to Pryor?” he asked.

“Sent an inventory and photos to Pryor. Gifts were delivered here, they’ve stayed here. They’re in evidence,” Colt answered.

“I want to see them all. Chronological,” Cal demanded.

“Why?” Sully asked and Cal looked at him.

“Do you know what I do for a living?”

“Security,” Sully answered.

“Stalker sub-specialty,” Colt muttered and Sully looked at his partner.

“No joke?” Sully whispered.

“No joke,” Colt repeated.

“Wow,” Sully was still whispering, “I didn’t know that. We should have brought you in sooner.”

Colt looked at the ceiling. Haines pressed his lips together. Cal growled.

“You feed the Feds this shit?” Cal asked Barry. He was sitting in the seat beside Colt’s desk after having gone through a fuckload of expensive gifts that got chronologically more expensive, more desperate to make an impression and more demanding to get a reaction.

“Feds aren’t interested,” Cal heard Barry’s answer through the phone.

“Not interested?” Cal asked.

“You’re interested. I’m interested. Any Chicago police officer is interested, they knew Tim or not. The Feds… no,” Berry answered.

“Nothin’ ties him to this shit,” Cal surmised.

“I looked into it, Colt looked into it and nothin’ ties him to that shit. She was still in Chicago, gettin’ visits, maybe they’d care. Harassment isn’t a big deal but they’d be happy to pin anything on him, it keeps him locked away even a day longer. But she’s in Indiana gettin’ gifts we can’t pin on him, they don’t care,” Barry replied. “They want him shut down. They think they got a lock on that and so they’re focused.”

Cal clenched his teeth. If he heard the fucking word “focused” one more fucking time he was going to do bodily harm.

“You suggested protection, Colt’s people can’t offer it. You got the resources up there to give Vi and the girls that?” Cal asked.

“She’s out of our jurisdiction,” Pryor answered.

“What about the Feds?”

“Sorry, man, like I said. They’re not interested,”

Fuck! The word exploded in his brain then Cal took a deep breath and laid it out for Barry.

“You need to keep him busy, Pryor, his mind on other things,” Cal advised. “Shake up his operation. Give him headaches. Even if you can’t follow through with what you’re doin’ just be a nuisance.”

“How’s that gonna help?” Barry asked.

It wasn’t, Cal knew from the gifts it wasn’t going to stop Hart doing what he was doing.

Daniel Hart was like Kenzie Elise. He was used to getting what he wanted just wanting it. The gifts he’d been sending, the shake up in the schedule since Vi moved, the escalation of attention were not good signs. Colt knew it and was doing what he could do. It wasn’t right he didn’t share with Cal not only considering what Vi was to Cal but what Cal did for a living, but he was doing all the right things, including making it so Vi could live her life and only worry about all the shit that was in it, not adding anything extra. The fact that she was protected, not even receiving the gifts, and Cal had no doubt Hart knew she wasn’t, was probably driving Hart up the wall. He couldn’t get close, not with a restraining order and a cop living on Vi’s street. He wasn’t stupid and wouldn’t take that chance. Colt would take him down in a second. Hart could only hope Colt would mess up, miss a delivery, she’d get her diamonds and he’d get his reaction. Something Hart needed to function and something Colt had kept from him.

What Cal had to find was Hart’s Marco. Marco held Kenzie’s strings and yanked them when she got out of line. No man was an island. Not even the top of the heap in a crime syndicate. Hart had buyers, sellers, suppliers, employees – people he had to keep happy. Focusing on the mother of two daughters in Indiana when his focus should be on business, business that was all of a sudden getting a shakedown from the cops, would not make any of those people happy.

And then Sal could do his work which would make all those people really not happy and hopefully end in Daniel Hart being dead.

That was Cal’s plan. It was shit but at least it was a plan.

“Feds makin’ deals, cops on his ass, his attention is scattered, his operation goes into disarray someone’s gonna notice and he’s gonna have to make a choice. He chooses Vi, his operation falls apart, people get pissed, he’s fucked. He doesn’t choose Vi, shifts his attention away, gets with the program, she’s free. Either way, she wins,” Cal explained.

“You’re askin’ me to put a shitload of boys in danger. This guy does not like to be messed with,” Barry replied.

“I’m askin’ you to serve and protect. Tim did it and died doin’ it,” Cal reminded him.

Barry was silent and when he spoke his voice low and pissed.

“I met you, I liked you but don’t fuckin’ use the Tim card on me,” he warned. “You didn’t know him, you don’t get that card.”

“His daughters go to bed under the same roof as me. I know him, Barry,” Cal said quietly. “You’ve seen the waste Hart laid to those girls’ lives but I’m cleanin’ it up and you think I won’t use that card for them, you’re fuckin’ crazy.”

Barry was silent again, it lasted longer this time then he bit out, “We’ll do what we can.”

Cal didn’t respond.

Barry spoke again, “You tellin’ me you’re livin’ with Vi and the girls?”

“Yeah,” Cal answered.

Cal heard movement on the phone and he knew it was Barry seeking privacy when he said, “I checked you out.”

Cal pulled in breath and closed his eyes.

“Your line clean?” Barry asked.

Cal opened his eyes. “I’m on Colt’s phone at the Station.”

“You talk to him, you do it on a clean line,” Barry advised and Cal was surprised.

“He’s family,” Cal replied.

“You talk to him, you do it on a clean line,” Barry repeated.

“Barry –”

“I don’t wanna know,” Barry cut him off.

“You know,” Cal said again quietly and heard Barry sigh.

“Yeah, I know.”

“That shit doesn’t blow back on me,” Cal warned.

“We didn’t have this conversation,” Barry stated.

“Good,” Cal replied.

“Jesus. All the luck, Vi moves away from that fuckface and moves next door to a security specialist with mafia ties. Fuck me,” Barry muttered.

“She doesn’t seem real lucky to me,” Cal remarked.

“Maybe her luck has changed,” Barry returned. “I gotta go. I got a Captain to try to convince to commence operation shakedown on a guy who’s whacked one of his detectives and put two others in the hospital, one’s still a vegetable three years down the line. Lucky for you, Vi and those girls, he misses Tim’s shortstop on our softball team.”

“Tim good?” Cal asked.

“The best,” Barry answered.

“I’ll bet,” Cal murmured.

Barry was silent again. Then he whispered, “Keep her safe.”

“You got it,” Cal promised.

Barry disconnected and Cal put down the phone.

Colt rounded Cal’s chair and sat in his own.

“Pryor in line with your plan?” Colt asked and Cal looked at him.

“Yeah,” Cal answered.

Colt studied Cal then asked, “We good?”

Cal studied Colt then asked back, “I tried to take on Denny Lowe without keepin’ you in the loop, would you be good with me?”

Colt’s face went hard. “Not the same thing and you know it, Cal.”

“Explain to me how.”

“You were there when we had our conversation.”

Cal leaned into his friend. “Fuck, Colt, just you roundin’ my fuckin’ house to have that conversation meant you knew.”

Colt held Cal’s stare and then his jaw clenched.

“I stepped out for two and half months, leavin’ her alone,” Cal reminded him.

“You’re in that line of work, Cal. You knew what was goin’ down and where it was gonna go. You stepped out for a reason. You can’t tell me you weren’t workin’ through some shit,” Colt returned.

“I didn’t have the intel, Colt, you kept it from me. I was workin’ through some shit but I woulda worked through it next door to her fuckin’ house and in the know about the escalation of attention,” Cal shot back.

“We had our eye on her and the girls,” Colt informed him.

“That be good enough for you, someone was takin’ pictures of Feb and Jack?” Cal asked.

“Like I said, I made a call. You didn’t like it but nothin’ I can do to change it. We knew what was goin’ on and we kept our shit sharp and she’s good. Pryor knew all about it and her brother did too and they still did what they thought they had to do so that isn’t on me. You’re welcome to stay pissed at me, man, but it’s a waste of energy. It’s done.”

This was all true and it pissed him off.

Cal stood and looked down at Colt. “Now are you assured of my focus?”

Colt visibly bit back a smile. “Yeah.”

“Thrilled, man,” Cal growled and turned to the stairs.

“This is over, I’ll get Feb to make you one of her frittatas,” Colt called after him.

“Can’t wait,” Cal called back but didn’t turn as he took the stairs.

This was true too but he wasn’t giving Colt that. He’d heard about Feb’s frittatas. According to her brother Morrie they were heaven in the form of eggs.

They might be good but Cal would bet a thousand bucks that Vi’s seafood shit was better.

Cal was nearly home when his cell rang. He looked at the display and it said “unknown caller”.

He flipped it open and put it to his ear.

“Yo.”

“You’re gettin’ a call in ten minutes at your office,” a man’s voice said then disconnected.

Fucking Sal. Always the drama.

He turned away from home and toward his office. By the time he unlocked the door the phone on Lindy’s desk was ringing. He picked it up and put it to his ear.

“Yo.”

“Cal, figlio,” Sal said in his ear and Cal could hear the smile in his voice.

“Sal,” Cal greeted, not smiling.

“I hear you were in Chicago. Saw Vinnie, Theresa. No visit for me?”

“It wasn’t a social call,” Cal told him and Sal was quiet.

Then he said, “Yeah, bad business. Vinnie told me.”

Cal was impatient. “Listen, I got a woman at home, she’s got daughters and someone’s takin’ snapshots and sendin’ them to cops. I don’t wanna be in the office. I wanna be home. You have a good talk with Vinnie?”

“We talked but I think you need to come up to Chicago. We’ll have a sit down,” Sal said.

There it was. Sal was in the mood to be persuasive.

“Sal, respect, goes without saying,” Cal told him. “But I got a woman at home whose got daughters and someone’s takin’ snapshots, sendin’ gifts and puttin’ bullets in the brains of the men in her life. The man who’s ordering that shit is in Chicago. I don’t wanna be in Chicago, I don’t wanna be away from her and I don’t want her to be in Chicago. If you talked to Vinnie then we don’t need a sit down.”

“I can see why this would make you impatient but there are things to discuss,” Sal countered.

“You want to discuss, I go this alone,” Cal returned and Sal let out a very loud sigh.

“We’re talkin’ a cop’s wife here, figlio,” Sal noted.

“We’re talkin’ my woman here, Sal. Hart sent a picture. I’m next,” Cal told him.

“How ‘bout this? I send a message to Hart, explain you’re family and that he should move on,” Sal suggested.

“How ‘bout this?” Cal returned. “This guy isn’t family. This guy is a mean motherfucker who clawed his way to the top and took down everything that got in his way. He doesn’t get family. He doesn’t get respect. He doesn’t get anything but what he takes. He took from you. He took from me. He took from my family and your family and he took from my woman, who, Sal, cop’s widow or not, she’s mine now and that means she’s family and you can’t deny that and he’s still takin’ from her. Are you tellin’ me, he did all that, you’re gonna send this fucker a note?”

“I gotta get organized, Cal.”

“You gotta ask a soldier to put a bullet in a gun,” Cal replied.

“We’re talkin’ war,” Sal pointed out, “war requires organization.”

“That’s not what we’re talkin’ and you know it. The big man is out, you move in, you get back what you lost seven years ago and then some.”

“Takeover like that, like I said, needs organization.”

“You’re up for that challenge.”

“This is big what you’re askin’ me.”

“It was bigger what I gave to you.”

Sal was quiet again then he sighed loudly again. “The Bianchis. Always a pain in my ass.”

“The pain was in my shoulder, Sal. You had a situation, Frankie called me and I stood up for you. I put myself in its path and took that bullet for you. You’re breathin’. I’m askin’ you to make sure I keep doin’ it and Vi lives the rest of her life doin’ it easy.”

Cal listened to silence and this lasted awhile.

Finally Sal stated, “All right, figlio. I do this, we’re square.”

“You got it.”

“Fin,” Sal pressed.

“Fin,” Cal repeated.

“You come to Chicago, you sit at my table, we’re nothin’ but family.”

“Yeah Sal, me and Vinnie, we learned that lesson a long time ago.”

Another sigh. “Vinnie Junior was a good man.”

“He’s on Hart too.”

“I remember,” Sal said softly.

“And I’ll never forget.”

“You Bianchis. Your loyalty is rabid.”

Cal shook his head and reminded him, “Bianchi blood is in your veins.”

“Luckily Giglia blood is dominant. Bianchis think with their hearts. Giglias think with their balls.”

Cal smiled. “Giglias think with their dicks and, you see Vi, you’ll think I got Giglia blood.”

Cal listened as Sal laughed then he listened to that laughter die.

“Vinnie said she’s a good woman,” Sal said quietly.

Cal didn’t respond. Sal was family and now Vi was family. Their paths would cross. Sal would find out for himself one day.

“You held this marker a long time,” Sal noted. “You’re pullin’ it for her, she must be.”

“Make my woman safe, Sal,” Cal ordered softly.

“Fatto, figlio. Done,” Sal replied just as softly. “But when it’s done, I want her at my table. Gina will make cannelloni. You like Gina’s cannelloni.”

“I figure Vi, the girls and me will be in Chicago a lot, Sal. We’ll be at your table.”

“It’ll be good to see you, Cal,” Sal said and he meant it, the crazy fuck.

Cal didn’t reply. He liked Sal just as much as he didn’t. But Gina’s cannelloni would be worth dinner at his table.

“I’ll make contact when it’s done,” Sal went on.

“I’ll expect one of your boys to call, tell me what to do and hang up and I’ll expect it soon,” Cal said and Sal laughed.

“You can’t be too careful,” Sal remarked.

“No, you can’t,” Cal replied with zero humor.

“Right,” Sal whispered, “so you be careful.”

“You too,” Cal replied.

“You’re a good man, figlio.”

Cal didn’t know what to do with that, coming from Sal so he just said, “Thanks, Sal, later.”

“Ciao.”

Cal heard the disconnect, put the receiver in its cradle and shook his head at the phone. Then he left his office, locked it and walked to his truck so he could get home.

I sat in bed wearing one of Joe’s tees and rubbing moisturizer in my face as Joe walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his jeans.

All the family was gone which was a relief. Not that I didn’t like them being there, and the girls loved it, just that I was glad to have this first meeting done and be back to just us.

Joe had been busy that day, having a conversation with Uncle Vinnie, taking off for a couple of hours then having a conversation with Dad. The good part was, after his conversation with Dad, Dad seemed to settle down. The bad part was, Joe seemed tense all day, after the conversation with Vinnie, after getting home and even after Dad seemed to settle in.

I watched Joe pull off his jeans, toss them on the floor, throw back the covers and slide into bed. I put my moisturizer aside as he yanked the covers to his waist then I moved to sit astride him. His big hands went to my hips, spanning them. My hands went to his shoulders and I leaned down so our faces were close.

“You okay?” I asked, searching his eyes.

“Yep,” he lied.

“You sure?”

“Yep,” he lied again.

“What was with the squad car that was outside the whole time you were gone?” I asked.

“Colt was at the Station, he needed to talk to me, he wanted you covered,” Joe answered casually and I didn’t know if this was a lie or not but what I did know was that Joe wanted me to let it slide. The problem with that was I couldn’t.

“Okay, breaking that down, he’s been gone before, and you’ve been gone too, and no squad car was sitting outside,” I pointed out.

“Colt was in the mood to be cautious.”

I bit my lip then let that go. “Okay then, why did Colt need you at the Station?”

Joe’s fingers flexed at my hips and he spoke gently. “Baby, your brother was murdered and then things got intense for you and for me. After that happened to Sam he and I needed a brief. We needed one awhile ago but Colt gave us some time to get our shit sorted. Our shit is sorted, he called me for a brief.”

This made sense but I still didn’t trust it.

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” I whispered.

His reply was a little scary and he did it on another flex of his fingers at my hips which made it scarier. “I’d do anything for you, buddy.”

My head tipped to the side. “Was that an answer?”

His eyes never left mine. “Only one you’re gonna get.”

We stared at each other several moments before I whispered, “You want me to let it go.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to relax?” he asked.

“A billion a day,” I answered.

He grinned then said, “Relax.”

I looked at the pillow by his head and muttered, “Right.”

“Baby,” he called and I looked back into his eyes. When our eyes caught, he lifted his head and touched his mouth to mine. After he settled back down, he murmured, “Trust me.”

“Okay,” I whispered instantly because he needed me to and because I did.

His hands started to slide up my sides, taking my tee with it when I asked, “What did you talk to Dad about?”

His hands went from the outside of the tee to the inside so I felt the heat of them against my skin. “Told him to cool it with the girls. Told him he did the right thing, leavin’ your Mom. Told him she wasn’t with him, he was always welcome here. Told him the best way he could work his way in was not to work so fuckin’ hard. And finally told him his granddaughters already loved him so he could relax.”

One of my hands slid to his neck. “Lucky you, considering he actually seemed to listen when you told him to relax.”

Joe grinned again. “Yeah. You could learn from that.”

I laughed as I felt Joe’s hands divide, one went up my back and pressed me down, one went into my panties and curved around my ass.

I dropped my mouth to his and said softly, “Joe.”

“Yeah, honey,” he said back.

“Aunt Theresa gave me something to give to you,” I blurted.

Now wasn’t the right time, I knew that. I should have done it after we had sex when he was mellow and hadn’t had a day that made him tense. But that picture in my lingerie drawer felt like a smoldering ember ready to burst into flames. Not only it being there and me knowing it was there but the girls knowing it was there and wondering when it would come out for air. Who knew? One of them (probably Keira) might let our scene in the living room that day slip.

He was keeping something from me, I knew it and I was going to let him. For whatever reason, he’d made the decision to make that play and I was going to let him have that too. We were in a relationship. I had to trust him and I did. If I needed to know, he’d tell me. Tim had been a badass macho man too and he’d had times where he clammed up about shit at work or shit he had to do, stuff that would make us worry. I knew when my man was erecting a shield around me and I knew he had to do what he had to do. If I fought that, it wouldn’t be pretty. No matter what it was, I had to let Joe do what he had to do and trust that he could protect me and my girls. And I did.

For my part, the conversation with Theresa, the picture of Joe and Nicky, I couldn’t sit on that and I couldn’t keep it from him.

For me, it had to be out in the open.

“Vi,” Joe called and I focused on him to see he was very focused on me and this time his fingers flexed into the flesh of my ass. “Jesus. What’d she give you?”

“Something to give to you.”

Joe closed his eyes and muttered, “Oh fuck.”

I lifted a hand from his shoulder to rest it against his cheek and guessed, “You know what it is, don’t you?”

He opened his eyes and started, “Vi –”

I dropped my head to rest my forehead against his. “I want him on the shelves,” I watched Joe close his eyes again and pressed on, “with Sam,” Joe’s hand clenched my ass as I finished on a whisper, “and Tim.”

Suddenly, he knifed up to sitting, taking me with him, both arms wrapped tight around me and I knew it was in order to set me aside so I held on.

“Joe –” I said to his profile, his head was turned away.

“Not ready for that, Vi.”

“Joe –”

He turned to me and repeated, “Baby, I said I’m not ready.”

If he wasn’t ready after seventeen years, it was time for him to be ready.

“He’s part of you, Joe, which means he’s part of this family. Let me bring Nicky home.”

I watched his face get hard and his hands moved to grasp my waist, definitely ready to set me aside but I clenched my thighs on his hips and held on harder with my arms.

“You said you’d help me with Sam and you are. And you said I could help you let what happened with Nicky go and you have to start letting me do that.”

His face stayed hard and his voice was tight when he said, “I’ve let it go.”

I risked moving my hands to his jaws and whispered, “Joe, you won’t even look at his picture.” Joe glared at me, his fingers gripping my waist hard and I risked more. “He was beautiful, honey.”

He closed his eyes again, pain slicing through his face and my fingers tensed at his jaws.

“Christ, Vi –” he started.

“And you’ve always been beautiful.”

His eyes opened and the pain was there too.

“Baby –” I whispered when I saw it.

Joe cut me off. “I got rid of ‘em.”

“What?” I asked.

“The photos, his clothes, his crib. Everything.”

I felt the sting of tears in my eyes when I asked, “Why?”

“Breadbox,” he answered and I blinked, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.

“What?”

“His casket. The size of a breadbox.”

At his words, what they conjured and knowing that memory was burned on his brain, the sob tore from my throat. I couldn’t stop it and it was so strong it seared a path of fire.

“Joe –”

“She’d been straight since before she got pregnant. The longest she’d gone. I thought we had it beat.”

“You don’t have to explain this to me.”

He went on like I didn’t speak. “The Bonnie she was, I’d never leave her with him, not with Dad that fuckin’ sick. I’d never even have a kid with her. But I didn’t think she was that Bonnie anymore.”

“Joe –”

“So I left her with him.”

“You didn’t have a choice, baby. You had to keep your family fed.”

“I thought we had it beat,” he murmured.

“Stop it, honey. You weren’t responsible for that.”

He pulled in breath, closed his eyes and kept them closed a long time before he opened them. Then his fingers wrapped around my wrist and he pulled my hand down to his chest so I could feel the strength of his heartbeat.

“He’s here, buddy, that’s all I could take, that’s all I need. I had to let go the rest. The rest is too much,” he told me.

I was a mother and I was a widow. I knew better than that.

“You need all you can get,” I whispered.

“Can’t take anymore,” he replied.

I pressed my hand into his chest. “That just isn’t true.”

“Vi –”

“Bring him home.”

“Violet –”

“Let me bring him home.”

“Buddy –”

I pulled my hand from his and put it back to his face. “He’s a part of you and I want you, all of you. I want my girls to have all of you. Joe, honey, please let me bring him home.”

We stared at each other again for a long time before Joe whispered a tortured, “Fuck… get it.”

I didn’t delay. I let him go, jumped from the bed and went to the dresser. I pulled the picture frame from the drawer and hustled back to our bed. Then I climbed into Joe’s lap, snuggled close and kept my eyes glued to his face when I turned the picture to him.

Joe’s eyes locked on the picture and the pain came back, stronger, contorting his features as I felt his body turn solid against mine.

When he didn’t say anything, I whispered, “You looked at peace.” My tears could be heard in my words but Joe’s eyes didn’t move from the picture.

“I had the world sleepin’ on my chest,” he replied, his voice low, thick.

I looked at the photo. “Funny how the world can fit in your arm.”

“Funny,” Joe repeated quietly and I looked at him to see that now he was looking at me and then his arm slid around me.

“Joe –” I started, new tears gliding down my face.

“Put him on your shelves, buddy.”

I hugged the photo to my chest and wiped the wetness from my cheeks. The only words there were to say were the words I said.

“Thank you.”

Before I could move he asked, “Girls there when Theresa gave you that?”

I nodded. “Keira said you looked hot, even holding a baby.”

A short laugh came from him. It sounded startled like he didn’t think he’d ever laugh again.

Then he looked down at my chest and muttered, “Fuck.”

“What?” I whispered and his eyes came to mine.

“He’d be old enough to date Kate,” he answered.

I didn’t know what to do with this or what Joe was doing with it so I stayed still and silent and waited.

“Fuck,” Joe repeated.

I braved the uncertain vibe and informed him, “He got even a little of you, Dane wouldn’t stand a chance,” Joe looked at me and I continued, “or Keira would make him her mission and they’d likely be fightin’ over him.”

His hand slid up my back until his fingers sifted into my hair.

“It sucks, sayin’ this, I hate to say it but I’m going to,” he said.

“What?”

“He lived, I might still be with her and you’d be next door and I wouldn’t be right here.”

Quickly, I reminded him, “For good or for bad, that didn’t happen, Joe.”

“You’d be here, alone, or… fuck, you’d be with Haines,” he went on like I didn’t speak.

I was seeing that this was heading down the way, way, way wrong path.

“Joe, don’t. Life is life, baby. That’s all it is.”

His eyes locked with mine.

“It’d never be good with her, she wasn’t gonna change and she didn’t. But, if he lived, I’d never leave her and that’s all I’d have. Except for Nicky, I’d never have somethin’ sweet.”

I set the picture on the nightstand and moved to straddle him, pushing him to his back.

“Yes you would,” I pressed my face into his neck and my lips to his skin. “I saw you, I’d go all Tina and do everything to catch your eye. Watering my flowers in a bikini and all sorts of shit. We wouldn’t be able to fight the attraction and we’d have a torrid affair,” I told him. “It would suck and I’d feel shit but you’d leave her for me and I’d pay you back by givin’ you all sorts of sweet things.”

As I spoke, my lips travelled his neck and throat and his hands started roaming my body.

“You’re full of shit, buddy. I’d see you waterin’ your flowers in a bikini, I’d come onto you and you’d go prude and freeze me out.”

I lifted my head and looked down on him just as his fingers curled around my breast.

“Joe, you fucked me on the hood of your car even when I was seriously pissed at you,” I reminded him. “I think we can take it as read I wouldn’t go prude.”

His thumb swiped my nipple, my lips parted and my hips jerked. At this, his eyes grew dark in a seriously sexy way and his lips tipped up at the ends.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “forgot about that.”

I blinked then felt my body get tight. “You forgot?”

His lips curled into a full-on smile. “Thanks for reminding me.”

Even though I knew he didn’t forget and was just fucking with me, I still heard an angry noise escape my throat and I started to pull away but Joe rolled so he was on top and his face disappeared in my neck as his thumb circled my nipple.

“We had an affair, buddy, we’d probably have to do it on the GT more than once,” he noted against my neck.

“We’d have to do it so you’d remember we did it before,” I snapped back but this wasn’t as effective as it should have been since my breathing was getting heavy and my legs were moving to tangle with his.

I felt his chuckle against my skin then his lips moved to my jaw. “We’d probably have to do it in the car too.”

“Would you remember that?”

He ignored my semi-irate question. “And be creative about other places we did it.”

“Joe –”

“In your car.”

“Joe –”

“In your garage.”

“Joe –”

“In my truck.”

“Joe!”

His mouth went to mine and I stopped breathing at what I saw in his eyes.

“You’re right, though. We would have found each other.”

My body relaxed under his and I whispered, “Joe.”

His head came up and he grinned slow. “You realize, buddy, that we’re discussing the ways I’d cheat on Bonnie.”

It struck me that we actually were and that was kind of funny therefore I giggled.

Then I said through a smile and while running my fingers along his scar, up his cheekbone and into his hair. “I met her once, honey, and I didn’t like her much so I’m not too broken up about that.”

His head came down and he kissed me through his gentle laughter.

Then he fucked me but nothing about that was gentle.

It would be later, when I was almost asleep, that I realized we’d both laughed about Bonnie but, more importantly, Joe had done it.

And I fell asleep thinking that, even though it was funny, what we said was also probably true.

And that was even funnier.

The next morning while Kate and Keira were running around like they’d never gotten ready for school in their lives, Keira working herself into a frenzy because it was her first day in high school and Joe was making them oatmeal and being calm which had no effect on them being in a tizzy, I walked out with the photo frame filled with Joe and Nicky and I put it on the shelves.

Kate saw, smiled at me but she didn’t say a word.

Keira didn’t see me because she was arguing with Joe. “But Joe, I can’t eat oatmeal. My stomach feels funny.”

“Nerves, baby, eat,” Joe replied.

“I’ll get sick,” Keira returned.

“No you won’t,” Joe said.

Keira looked at me and cried, “Mom!”

“Eat your oatmeal, honey,” I told her.

She stomped a foot on a repeated, annoyed, “Mom!”

“Keirry, the last time you vomited you were in second grade and had the flu. The last time you threatened to vomit was two days ago,” I said. “You need food or you’ll get cranky before second period. Eat your oatmeal.”

“Argh!” she shouted and then snatched up her oatmeal.

Keira ate her oatmeal and we had seven more dramas before she and Kate climbed into Kate’s Fiesta and they headed out while Joe and I waved them good-bye (well, Joe stood by me while I waved good-bye, he didn’t wave).

When they were out of sight, I turned and moved into Joe, wrapping my arms around him. I looked up at him and he looked down at me.

“Shit, my baby’s in high school,” I muttered.

“Yeah,” was his only reply.

“Shit,” I repeated, pressed my face into his chest and his fingers wrapped around the back of my neck.

“Let’s just hope she doesn’t snag a boyfriend on day one,” Joe told the top of my head.

I tipped my head back. “She’s on a mission so don’t hope too hard. You do, you’re cruisin’ for disappointment.”

Joe grinned, dipped his face to mine, kissed me and then guided me into the house.

He knew the picture was there, I knew he did. He didn’t say anything and neither did I.

I got ready and went to work and Joe got ready with me and went to his office.

Life goes on.

And life went on, safe and sweet in most ways, insane and crazed because two teenage girls lived in our house.

But that shield Joe put up was strong and held true for two beautiful weeks.

Then Daniel Hart blew it to smithereens.