Brave the Wild Wind

Chapter 33

JESSIE woke snuggled in a warm cocoon of blankets, the fire crackling near her and a tantalizing aroma wafting through the air. She found she was ravenous and feeling just fine.

She sat up. Chase was by the fire. He had his back to her and was stirring whatever it was that had aroused her hunger so.

“Didn’t know you could cook.”

He turned and grinned at her. “Passably.”

“It smells good.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” He came over to the bed. His expression turned more serious as he peered at her closely. “Can I get you your tonic now?”

“I don’t need it right now, but I can sure use a plate of your grub.”

“You’re sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine, Chase, really. I just needed to lie down for a while. Now I’m starving.”

His lips split into a delighted smile. “You got it, sweetheart.”

Jessie frowned. She wished he wouldn’t call her that. She wished he hadn’t shown so much concern for her. She didn’t know what to make of him anymore.

As she moved to the table and sat down, her eyes remained on Chase. There was no stiffness in his movements, so his back must not have suffered from his exertions during the last few days. Her eyes traveled the breadth of his back, down to his hips, down his long legs, and back up to those lean buttocks. He looked like he was up to anything. Yes, anything ...

Jessie blushed and looked away. Where had that thought come from? She might be having his baby, but ever since his bragging about being a womanizer, she’d known he didn’t really care about her. Therefore, she didn’t care about him. Remember that, Jessie, she told herself.

“Is it too hot in here for you?” Chase asked as he set a plate down before her.

Jessie blushed more, knowing he’d noticed the color in her cheeks. “A little,” she said testily.

They ate in silence, Chase confused by her abrupt change in mood. He watched her covertly, while she kept her eyes lowered and devoured her food as if she hadn’t had a meal in days. She seemed perfectly well, too well, back to her old high-tempered ways. It was hard to recall that she had been pale and sick just a few hours ago. A little sleep must have been all she needed. She’d better take it easy for a day or so, he thought, so there would be no further problem.

This silence continued. Perhaps she was more worried about Bowdre’s attempts to ruin her than he realized.

Chase began hesitantly. “You know, Jessie, if you’re just going to keep it bottled up and brood about it, it’s going to fester.”

“What?” She looked at him with wide eyes.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Chase said flatly.

“I’m afraid I don’t,” she hedged.

“Laton Bowdre, of course. The theft of your cattle. It’s not the end of the world, you know.”

She sighed. “No.”

“Well?” Chase prompted after a while.

“There isn’t much to say.” She shrugged. “I’m simply going to kill the bastard if I ever see him again.”

Chase burst out laughing. “No, you’re not, Jessie. Come on now, be serious.”

“I’m dead serious.”

“What will you do, challenge him?”

“Why not?” she countered.

“Because he can decline, and no one will think the worse of him for it. No man would face a woman in a gunfight, not even scum like Bowdre.”

“He’s not going to get away with this, Chase. If I had proof, I’d leave it to the sheriff, but without proof, I have to take care of it myself. What else can I do?”

“Let me take care of it.”

“You challenge Bowdre?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Her flat refusal irritated him. “But he would accept a showdown with me, Jessie.”

“I said no! That’s not right.”

“It’s probably all over with, anyway,” Chase said. “Bowdre undoubtedly got what your father’s note was worth and more when he sold your cattle. He’s probably satisfied and long gone from this area.”

“I hope not,” Jessie replied bitterly.

“Bloodlust never solved anything, Jessie. You’re not ruined. Just scratch this loss. Forget it.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Chase Summers. It’s not your life that’s threatened. My ranch isn’t big enough to absorb this loss. Thomas Blair never meant to be a cattle king. He just wanted to settle on the land where he’d spent his youth, and ranching offered the solution. Our herd was never very big. We lose a good portion of it every winter, anyhow. The blizzard of ‘66 wiped out seventy percent of our gain, and Thomas went into debt then, too, to replenish the stock. No sooner did he pay that debt off than he got the idea for the grand house. It seems we’ve always been in debt, selling just enough cattle each year to get by. I can’t afford this loss.”

Chase felt strangely affected by her speech. He was feeling her pain right along with her. “You know your mother would gladly help you out, Jessie.”

“Forget it,” she snarled.

After that, he knew he’d be wasting his time making his own offer. But then, you never knew. He had to offer.

“Would you consider taking a loan from me? I won a good sum in Cheyenne, more than I need.”

Jessie sat back, shaking her head. “What is it with you, Chase? First you want to fight my battles, now you want to lend me money. Are you feeling that guilty over my ruination at your hands? Has Rachel gotten to you?”

She surprised him. She wasn’t angry, just confused. Well, no more confused than he was!

“Well, Chase?” she prompted.

He scowled and replied gruffly, “All right. Let’s just say I owe you.”

“No. Let’s be honest and agree you don’t,” she came back coolly.

Again she managed to surprise him.

“Facts are facts, Jessie. You were a virgin before I touched you.”

“Oh, so what!” she cried in exasperation. “If you had forced me, then you would owe me. But you didn’t. Have you forgotten that I wanted you, too?”

Jessie could have bitten her tongue. Furious with herself, she added curtly, “It was purely physical.”

“Far be it for me to assume anything else,” he said just as curtly.

“You needn’t be sarcastic.”

“And you don’t have to convince me that you feel nothing for me,” he retorted coldly. “I am quite aware of that. But you’ve skirted the issue. You may feel now that the loss of your virginity doesn’t matter one bit, but you’ll feel differently when you marry someday and have to explain that loss to a husband.”

Chase thought he had lost his senses when she burst into laughter, rich, musical laughter.

“I fail to see what’s so amusing, Jessie.”

“I bet you do,” she laughed, barely able to get the words out.

She tried to stifle her laughter. How she would have liked to tell him what she found so ridiculously funny. If she ever did marry, her husband would be accepting her with a child in tow. Her virginity, or lack of it, would hardly be a question!

“I’m sorry,” she said, calming herself.

“Not at all,” he replied caustically. “Why should I expect you to feel like other girls? I keep forgetting you’re not at all like other girls.”

Jessie sobered. “I’m not so different.”

“No?” he said rudely.

“No. It’s just, being raised as I was, I see things in a different light. I see things like... how many men go to their wedding beds virgins? If it’s acceptable for a man to have lovers before marriage, why can’t a woman? As long as I’m faithful afterward, it shouldn’t matter.”

“Only you would think so, Jessie. Men aren’t so open-minded.”

“Well, then, it just goes to show the difference between the Indian’s and the white man’s viewpoint. Little Hawk didn’t care that I wasn’t a virgin.”

Chase stiffened, and his eyes turned coal black. “And how did he know that, Jessie? Did you let him find out firsthand?”

Jessie stood up, placed her hands on the table, and leaned forward. “I’m not going to take exception to that.” Her blazing eyes belied her words. “Little Hawk was entirely honorable except for one stolen kiss. He wanted me for his wife, not some passing fancy.”

It struck home. Her eyes bored into his. Chase’s anger shriveled. He was guilty as charged. He hadn’t wanted her for his wife... but that didn’t mean he didn’t want Jessie.

Chase stood up slowly and leaned forward in the same manner as Jessie, their faces only a foot apart now. His voice was a deep whisper. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you get like this?”

Jessie drew back warily. “That’s a far way off from the subject we were on.”

“True. But when you look like this, I have a hard time thinking of any subject but one.”

Jessie could scarcely meet his eyes. His voice was so husky when he got in this disarming mood. And that damned knowing smile of his...

She made a frantic dash for the door, but just as she opened it, he slammed it shut. “You don’t want to go out there. The cattle are fine, and there’s too much snow to get any work done. We’ll stay right here.” He turned her around and hooked his hands behind her back. “Isn’t it nicer in here, and warmer? And you’ve got nothing better to do than let me love you.”

He was kissing her before she could think. She wouldn’t let herself feel anything this time—she wouldn’t! He was no good, he was... he was setting her blood on fire, damn him, just like before. Her muscles relaxed, making her lean into him. Her legs felt useless.

He was doing it to her, making her want him with the feel and touch of his body, the persuasion of his lips. His belly was pressed against her, making hers flutter wildly. The moment she wrapped her arms around his neck, he crushed her to him even closer.

“You’ll let me love you, Jessie?”

“Yes.”

“All day?”

“Yes.”

“And all night?”

“For God’s sake, stop talking!” she whispered.

Chase laughed deeply and swept her into his arms. He carried her to the cots and, with his knee, shoved the two together before laying her down. He began to remove his clothes immediately, and Jessie did the same. She couldn’t take her eyes away as one article of clothing followed another into a pile on the floor. She found that just the sight of his body had the power to excite her, and her own hands were clumsy because of it. He was done before she was half finished undressing.

Chase leaned over to help her, and impulsively Jessie caught his face between her hands and kissed him, not with passion, but tenderly.

When she released him, Chase was looking at her strangely. That kiss hadn’t been a response to his own kisses, but something entirely different. He stood looking at her for a moment, then lay down beside her. They were both naked, and he enjoyed just lying there, bare skin against bare skin.

She was watching him, running her hands over his chest in a delightful way.

“Are you going to act this way with every man who wants you?” His voice was light and teasing, but he wanted to know.

“I haven’t so far,” Jessie replied.

“Which doesn’t mean you won’t.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

He looked down at her, his features rapidly turning solemn. “Jessie ...”

She caught her fingers in his hair. “Shut up and love me, Chase.”